Fake Animated Stories Are Still Awful

before we get started for today I just wanted to shout out our videos very gracious sponsor me way back in the pre quarantine year of 2017 I started a comedy podcast about feelings called sad boys with my friend Jordan we both loved doing the show but unfortunately the podcast went on hiatus in 2018 due to but I'm very happy to announce that after a year and a half break the boys are back so yeah I'm excited I want to tell you about it if you want to listen to a comedy podcast about feelings just search up sadboys on your favorite podcast app and we're dropping 2 episodes today so double the flavor double the fun thanks again to today's sponsor I'm really grateful to happen greetings earthlings I'm Jarvis and this is a natural video introduction how'd I do good job back by popular demand is my girlfriend Sadie and on today's episode of corrupting my girlfriend with the Internet I'd like to show her animated story channels which is something I've talked about a lot on my youtube channel and for those who aren't familiar they are animated stories that are submitted by kids that are 100% true don't look that up I have a list here of animated story videos that I have not seen that have either been compiled by my friend Anastasia or sent to me on a twitter or instagram at jarvis always be plugging and I haven't seen them have I already said that thing is I have watched so many of these videos that I am numb and your here is like a normal function in human yes and you're gonna be the one who's like to be like this is crazy right you're like the audience okay relatability this first one is called I witnessed a cult at an abandoned house you'll notice that the screenshot has a different title here's the reason they changed them a lot because they want to get the click regardless of whether or not it's hi guys I'm Rick Herick honestly I've never been into mysticism and scary stories did he say like mysticism is that a term I've never been into mysticism in spirits I moved to a new town with my parents when I was 16 it has never been easy for me to find new friends that's why when Kevin Roger and Kelly asked me to hang out with them I took the chance one day Kelly suggested going to a haunted house located on the outskirts of the town the house was very old and half destroyed the perfect place to make a horror movie I get that the house is haunted and all but does that say mr. Drizzy is that graffiti for Aubrey three pieces that are clearly located in the six we arrived there at around 8:00 p.m. the most dangerous time also what is the the perfect place to make this scary mansion why do you want to find the perfect place is my question are they I mean he wasn't into the guys ran upstairs and I was exploring the library on the first floor there's a librarian four-eyes he's not wearing his glasses - you just got contacts to seem cooler but we know we know you're a nerd I heard a weird sound in a rattle but no one was there I turned around Kelly jumped out of nowhere and hugged me she scared the hell out of me Kelly tried to kiss me but I stopped her I explained that I wasn't attracted to her in that way oh wait it's a Drake meme where it's like Kelly she said oh come on new guy and tried to kiss me again oh well we're off your side Kelly yeah no means no but I dodged and pushed her away just a little all right but dr. Pitts was aggressive meanwhile Kelly was very offended because I pushed her hi well that might be part of why she's offended he's a teenager yeah sixteen yeah I feel like he wouldn't actually though feeling hey I'm sorry it's just not it's not gonna happen I'm doing that yeah about another tact no the story's fake I thought the relationship was a little bit exaggerated it was not sure if I'm buying it with a 16 or would really have the emotional intelligence to let Kelly down so easily it was broken suddenly Kelly locked the door from outside Kelly there's more fish in the sea but she persuaded Kevin and Roger to play a trick on me think for yourselves Roger he told me that I needed to be alone and learn some manners and they left me in the basement with a broken phone I tried all possible ways to get out but it was hopeless I mean we were just saying he had more manners than was ya expected he actually had the most manners you could have in this it's all he did push a little a little lightly in self-defense instead he via that was a little bit aggressive as depicted by the animation you should kiss me it's because it's polite to do so and your punishment is all I could do was wait after about four hours I heard footsteps where's the call come on but the voices were unfamiliar it's clearly Kevin Roger and Kelly is their kingpin they follow anything she says hey this guy's the one who kissed me let's lock him up for four hours I hesitated to shout for help and decided to wait I don't want to be rescued from the dungeon quite yet they turned on music on the first floor and I heard the voices of several women suddenly a young woman with crazy makeup and a long red dress opened the door to the basement she entered with a flashlight and took a huge ax from a shelf who the hell are you I explained myself and added that I would keep silent about the meeting upstairs if she would allow me to leave alive that's a presumptuous what's wrong with the meeting upstairs so far they're women listening to music stand raking this house you cannot play Rio the woman laughed and asked me to do her a favor and sit still in the basement for 30 more minutes she didn't want to break the meditation and confuse her clients she promised to drive me home safely afterward I had no idea what she meant by the meditation I didn't know if she was into Transcendental Meditation I listened to their conversation but the only thing I heard was on Friday we will make a sacrifice to the full moon no regrets ladies he deserved that floor was decorated with candles flowers and weird paintings I asked her what was going on but she said that it was a secret I declined her offer to drive me home as politely as possible and ran away so thing a theme here at home I had a huge fight with my parents because I didn't pick up the phone that whole time but I didn't tell them the actual reason for my disappearance he simultaneously has great emotional intelligence for a teenager and absolutely horrible like thinking bad decision-making kids just thought just say the truth don't lie yeah you were true you were I couldn't tell I mean like I get it I get it but also like mom and dad know he's afraid of he tells sorry he's afraid of he tells he's gonna have a spell put on him we're three minutes into a 10-minute story and I've got all the directions we've been pulled early in the morning I saw Kelly on my porch Kelly what are you what are you doing on my porch Kelly apologized for her stupid behavior I forgave her and the guys quickly because I couldn't wait to tell them about the mysterious cult meeting that I saw yesterday also they were my only friends Kevin offered to go back to the haunted house on Friday and hide to record a video but I suggested going to the police instead Kelly protested you go to the police Kelly's trying to save her own ass later that night Roger took me aside after training and asked me to stay away from Kelly he was very jealous that Kelly had a crush on me and he wasn't even trying to hide it the plot thickens not far from the house we saw a creepy old gardener where's this going I'll try to guess the end of the story I'm gonna first off guess that it doesn't have feel like that's a guess because you know these stories he was staring at us silently in cleaning the foliage not even sure that he was mentally healthy Kelly suggested that we ignore him and continue on our mission we snuck into the house and didn't see any candles or paintings on the first floor somebody had hidden all the evidence of the evil party when they came in the house they did they did what they wanted to do and they was what evidence do you leave like a meditation retreat after two hours we got bored saying something was wrestling Kelly grabbed my hand and hugged me this is all a ploy for Kelly to give hands Kevin went to see who was there but he screamed like crazy and began to jump I said goodbye to my friends and decided to go home alone but it gets worse in the middle of the night I heard a strange sound outside the window in my room someone had hung a straw doll outside my window the head of the doll had been covered with a picture of my face cut from my Instagram profile of course I thought it was Kelly or the guys at lunch I found them in the school cafeteria and threw the doll in the table what has happened so far so I feel like it's not worth talking about and went to the haunted house again to gather evidence I was scared to death but what if I was the only one who could save the poor guy he thinks that that man is going to be sacrifice to the moon are you sure you don't go to these meetings they seem pretty like yeah obviously that's what the lady said I noticed a huge fire in the garden seven women in long skirts were dancing around the fire their faces and hands were covered with something red I took a short video and sent it to the police officer let me get those digits in case like something goes wrong I prepared to see something gross but the woman pulled several male t-shirts pictures a teddy bear and a few pillows out of the back apparently the girl was throwing her ex's stuff into the fire and saying farewell to their relationship just processing their past relationships weirdly therapeutic cool cathartic nice burning of the belongings so the story continues to go on and he never finds out who left a voodoo doll but he does become friends with the cult leader slash life coach yeah and what about the guy cleaning he was never never mentioned again so now that you have experienced that marathoned mm-hmm how do you feel I feel like you said you were numb to these stories but you actually have a lot to say always I kissed a weird guy with braces and got stuck for hours has that ever happened to anyone does that happen to you I mean we've kissed and yes it happens a lot I'm sorry my mom loves my what I cannot hear it again I don't care what your mom loves I don't want to hear it what is going on no no [Laughter] is this allowed you're probably thinking the title is just clickbait nope my mom really does love my my family disowned me because of my youtube channel hi everyone I'm Fiona my parents disowned me because of my YouTube channels acting they're like this voice is so Terrance disowned me because of my YouTube channel sometimes they said you're no longer our daughter so you can't live in our house what did she do did she make a commentary video that's grounds for disowning right there why do you think I live alone they basically kind of kicked me out basically kind of how did it come to this what did I do to make them so upset first of all I have to say that my parents are super weird our kitchen would close at 8 p.m. literally close I mean you shouldn't be eating in India dinner starts at a p.m. minimum literally closed as if it were a store as if it were a store coz all stores board up their kitchen my mom would announce if anyone needs water you have by it's together oh no oh I don't believe that I'm still curious about the YouTube YouTube one day I was at a friend's house for a pajama party just before we went to bed my friend said my mom left us milk and cookies let's go to the kitchen I was so surprised and I naively asked is your kitchen open so late [Laughter] anyway I'm not into video games so this other rule in our house was mainly for my brother Craig he wasn't allowed to play Pokemon games you know why both of my parents are very religious my dad read somewhere that Pokemon can involve is not so equally but evolved into Jigglypuff I know and then they just have Wigglytuff it's like a nerd nuances between this is just not yeah they're just knockoff let me tell you about their ridiculous punishments which really put their weirdness on display this is clearly in the basement of one time my brother forgot to flush the toilet after pooping [Music] either that day poor Craig told me no matter where I look I still see my poop at the time but looking back on it I think it was pretty sad something that's like you need to do every day sorry actually we looked it up in a previous video that was about a BuzzFeed quiz about pooping uh-huh the range of healthy pooping is wild there's no generally accepted number of times the person should pee whenever I got a bad grade at school you would make me call all our relatives and tell them what I got for example he'd call my grandma and hand me the phone like you made a mistake first I'd say which class it was and then the grade I got he'd say apologize to your grandmother for being a disgrace to the family grandma yes Fiona about greed in what class it was humorous 3/1 third Fiona here disgrace to the family so I would apologize this was more upsetting for my grandmother than for me oh she would cry [Music] normal parents usually tell their kids you can't leave your room today with us it was you can't come down from the apple tree today today you heard it right we had to climb a tree and stay there for hours for example cursing would be punished with the tree the amount of time we spent in the tree depended on the curse word I mean some people have liked curse jars yeah curse tree this awareness made things difficult for both me and my parents I no longer expected everything they said so her parents are abusive and instead of calling Child Protective Services she uploads videos to YouTube about her parents punishment she doesn't know what else to do that's true she's not in the wrong the parents are abusive yeah sorry yeah yeah sorry power the solution was right in front of me I decided to create a YouTube channel I wasn't going to show my face or tell anyone about it where do you think I shot my first video sitting in the apple tree I set up the phone's camera so it would only show the apples I pressed record and started talking about this apple trees role in my life on the ground she didn't have to like climb up the tree the girl in the tree then she wouldn't get that bomb-ass title that's true she's out of the title first that night I felt completely relaxed and slept like a baby like a babe hey baby give me some water from the kitchen is about to close the volcano inside me now had an outlet [Music] it's a metaphor she's a young girl it's just it's mixing metaphors I guess like okay fine you're being mean to Fiona fine Fiona Apple tree oh wait that's probably the same stream her album after the first ten days the amount of views on my video started to go up I remember the first comment very clearly did you really experience this or are you just making things up a few hours later I got a second comment which said please show us your face I continued uploading two videos per week my brother accidentally came across my channel he texted me right away Craig's dream was to be a youtuber and he thought that I made this channel to become one as well he was so happy when he saw the number of views and subscribers that's true everyone start your channels do it all right I mean that you know yeah because I didn't for a long time like I didn't think like anyone would wanna hear my voice on the internet yeah and I needed someone to tell me is there a space for me mm-hmm and that people would care and some people do that's crazy but get out there you'll find your audience Craig and immediately went to show our mom dark Craig well he thought they were gonna be supportive maybe he knows about he's a shy old he's like they know about my dream of being a YouTube now my sister's doing it he's already uploaded his video staring at hey guys my channel I just wanted to share a pastime that I have you might be a little stinky but like don't worry cuz like you can't smell it it's funny because this is actually started out as like a punishment for my crazy parents I started to enjoy it so I could instead of it get ready with me it's a poop with me video sup guys welcome to my bathroom when I came home my parents were livid Craig realized what he had done but it was too late my mom kept saying how dare you talk about our private lives online my dad said I didn't expect this from you they sent me to my room I heard them had a heated discussion my dad said there is no way we can forgive you we worked so hard to raise you and this is what we get in return no punishment would be enough for what you've done so your mom and I have made a really tough decision we are disowning you we are giving you a week to find yourself a place to stay I could understand their disappointment but wasn't this reaction a bit over-the-top of course I went to my grandmother when she found out what happened she called him over Fiona is just a kid how can you throw her out of the house she will live with me from now on and I am disowning you to throw Craig out as well I'll take care of both of them I was really sad about having to delete my channel but then I stopped caring because it had served its purpose you deleted her channel because she had to she said she had to I guess the parents did it I don't know yeah I mean they disowned her so like she couldn't she have kept the channel yeah that's what I think contact YouTube support maybe they can help yeah all right so that's those are my story who else searched up the girl in the tree to find her Channel I searched up crazy little kids who are watching this primarily and looking no further than this comment hi my name is Michaela and it would be really sad because you didn't get to see your mom I love my mom I bet you do too yeah yeah no these videos are scaring people alright that's all the story we've got had time to animate today boy are my arms tired when had you liked everything no thanks Sadie for joining me I hope you're okay I'm sorry no it's good cuz now I know what to do when I want to animate my own story of my life it's a dream of mine Sadie we're let's wrap up the video there could be i've been done drag you wrap up the video what do you need from me shut it out I'm so sorry God quarantines really got to me I'm not normally like this it's okay I'm ready thanks to Brianna Dalhousie for sending a message on Twitter I have no idea if I'm saying that right if you want me to bet you your name then send me a message on it and follow me on there also and you can message city too but she has no power over white sharp

Channel: Jarvis Johnson

Views: 1,307,195

Rating: 4.9695511 out of 5

Keywords: jarvis, jarvis johnson, comedy

Id: vVhymgjx_5I

Length: 28min 40sec (1720 seconds)

Published: Sat May 23 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/YoviQ]

He's really milking it...

[u/[deleted]]

I like how Sadie is just ready to chop off his head

[u/nalalionking445]

i’m looking up “CRaIiiiIiIiiIg”

[u/Norbertthebeardie34]

“ Follow me at Joorvis!”