Fake Animated Stories Are Getting Worse (Actually Happened)

hi there I'm Jarvis Johnson and I'm currently holding office as a Democratic member of the Texas House of Representatives and today we're talking about a story that actually happened what's that sorry it says here we're talking about a YouTube channel called actually happened which I assume is a channel with completely truthful stories no what would I know this is there's a piece of construction paper and look I know I've already talked about this channel but my parents aren't home so no one can stop me I'm actually in LA right now at an Airbnb so that's why it looks nice and my tripod is broken so I've rigged it up with some knives let's hope that doesn't end poorly so a few months back in January I made a video about actually happened where I was mostly just trying to prove that they were misleading their viewers by claiming that they're extremely clickbait stories were submitted to them by kids we have several requirements for our scripts believability stories ought to sound like they're told by a real teenager and be as close to real life as possible without creating a sense that they're fake anyway my conclusion in all of this was the only way to fight these channels was to join them so I made my own fake story animation channel called they actually animated my story and a lot has happened since then sorry uh a lot has actually happened since then this is still it's still just construction paper for one my parody and a major channel was doing quite well considering all the stories are original and not ripoffs of any existing works whatsoever especially not this one about an orphan wizard named Gary Trotter definitely not this one about a boy named bill whose life got flipped-turned upside down and he'd like to take a moment just sit right there he'll tell you how I became the Prince of a town called well he never names the town maybe it's Boston the channel now has 25,000 subscribers and thousands of views but the best part is that it's impossible to tell which of the comments are jokes and which are serious this channel is clearly fake the narrator is the same for every video read more this is a joke okay you're a ripoff actually happened by the dabs are like last season losers it's dead guys I'm 100% sure this channel as a joke um there's no such thing as a teleporter lmao fake stole this idea from The Fresh Prince of bel-air and bill any real guy you just copy the main character's name from the show well but change it to bill idiots are these jokes are they real who can be sure irony is dead oh and another thing I wanted to talk about before we transition into the like main topic of today which has actually happened is the channel that we talked about last time my story animated because they have been up to some poopoo some dung some straight-up fecal matter if I do say so myself last week they posted a video that was a bit of a quiz show they would show you a clip of animation from someone who had interviewed with them for a job and then you would guess if that person got hired what I didn't make this up they actually posted this to their channel they're essentially shaming people who applied to work at their stupid company no I no pressure or anything but if you fill this interview we will have to make fun of you in front of our 600,000 followers oh yes we will be monetizing it you know just to make a little extra dough now if you can go ahead and draw a cat for me now they took this video down pretty soon after it went up but probably because it was doing really poorly not like they grew a conscience or anything and that brings us to our old friend actually happened who made so much clickbait that I didn't even know which stories to pick for this video but I suppose we could start with I faked pregnancy to get good grades you're about to find out how what and spoiled yogurt made me the most popular person in school okay great so my name is Nancy I am 14 years old and I go to middle school this is Nancy she's 14 and still in middle school she studies well but sometimes she runs into difficulties I study well or at least I try to but sometimes I run into difficulties the D is for difficulties and she has this really important presentation for a topic were never told in a class she never mentions but uh-oh you procrastinate it on it my final grade in the class totally depended on it but I procrastinated until the last possible moment so she sleeps in because she forgot to set her alarm I got up terrified and gathered all the printouts from my presentation in a hurry but it didn't help I still miss the school bus and her mom can't take you to school because of her morning sickness you see my mom is pregnant she's only in her first trimester but she's having a hard time with all this morning sickness and constant nausea I decided not to disturb her and went to see if I could catch a public transport if she's not able to find a public transport perhaps she can use a smartphone based ride-hailing service eventually if she finds a trolley but she forgot to eat breakfast I started to take into my backpack trying to find some kind of Forgotten cookies for Doc cookies fuck there were no cookies mmm but I found a bottle of drinkable yogurt instead a bottle of drinkable yogurt was just chilling in her hot a his backpack did she put it there cuz she doesn't seem to recognize it at all I might have forgotten it a while ago but I don't remember when exactly okay so the yogurt is clearly spoiled but like she didn't notice anything off about the the taste or the smell or the consistency or anything I just drank it all so not to get too deep into yogurt logistics but if she's drinking a yogurt that's for kids like go-gurt or something then it's super pasteurized so it's like really hard to get sick on it even if it's spoiled and if it's not that I still find it hard to believe that this child is really into probiotics but here we are right in the middle of my presentation she somehow makes it to a presentation on time but in the middle of the presentation she gets sick obviously and we're introduced to Nancy's friend Angela we're supposed to do our presentation together but Angela is not a very diligent student so she was not even prepared at all you're one to talk you barely made it to class still the teacher asked her to go on with the presentation after my inglorious exit she liked the understudy of this group presentation she wasn't up there before or Angela I know your partners in the bathroom vomiting right now but I'm gonna need you to finish this presentation couldn't someone just go ahead of us look I run a tight ship around this classroom Angela takes over the presentation and then Nancy eludes the fact that you put together papers in a hurry and then she just blindly and without even thinking started to read aloud with expression what were the best ways to overcome the negative impacts of pregnancy you mean to tell me that angela is so dumb that she accidentally started reading a random WebMD article that was included in the papers our teacher was very very surprised angela was very very surprised and the whole class was very very surprised too they're probably just confused that she liked switch topics so dramatically like one minute she's talking about how bees are dying at an alarming rate and the next she's talking about pregnancy complications they make so many leaps at this point in the story that it feels like a giant chunk of it is missing so when I came back to class the teachers somehow quietly gave me an egg none of this makes any sense she becomes the most popular girl in school because her friend read an article to the class about morning sickness the boys started carrying my bag if it looked heavy the teachers - they made sure I was not getting too tired in their classes and they gave me good grades like this whole story is fake so why also make it incoherent it was Angela who helped me understand what was going on how dare I keep the news of my pregnancy from my best friend what yeah what Angela no offense but you just read a web in the article the whole class and now you convinced yourself that I'm pregnant I maybe understand how other people could have gotten the impression that I'm pregnant but what's your Excuse you know I printed that article about pregnancy and toxicosis for my mother because she asked me to you know how printing an article is the most popular way to share it in 2019 I have no idea how it got in that file with my presentation but it seemed that now everyone at school thought I was pregnant of course I was shocked she really couldn't have put that together so then she fakes pregnancy to get good grades the title wasn't clickbait I guess ah pickles the classic mark of a pregnant person so then the social worker gets involved thank God the social worker asked if she's pregnant and she lies because I guess she's a bad person this couldn't end badly at all I kept a poker face and replied that everything was fine and I did not understand what she was talking about and she calls the mom would you guess the mom still has her morning sickness silly pregnancy my mom she just asked shockingly what Nancy's pregnant to look I don't care how nauseous you are no one would respond like this that same day she paid us a visit bringing along a couple of policemen what did you think was happening but there's no crime in action at our house there's no crime in action here officer you can move along yes ma'am the only criminal was me no I think you're good actually and what happens to Nancy for defrauding the whole school I was lucky that my lies did not have any consequences Wow nice no consequences what a great lesson this next video there it is called well except three titles so far first it was called I was trapped in a house with five burglars then it was called I risked my life to save my neighbors but it didn't help it is currently called I thought I was smarter than burglars but then I got trapped in all those titles are lies hello guys my name is Karla I'm 14 years old and now I want to tell you a detective story which happened to me for real about that I was born in America but my family comes from Mexico that was neither the place I was expecting this is the part where they give a bunch of unnecessary exposition but just know that Carlos is a dog walker and she doesn't have her phone because her dress doesn't have pockets so I thought that I'd just leave my phone at Kelly's owners house which turns out to be the wrong decision this reminds even horror movies where they have to like get rid of everybody's cell phone so that people can't do the obvious thing anyway on this people day Carla's about to pass mr. and mrs. Ward's ass but something is wrong they were supposed to be on vacation but their door wasn't shut properly and their curtains were closed I got closer to see if their cars were there but they weren't now there was no doubt in my mind somebody had broken into their house what was I supposed to do now just go back and call the police I couldn't call the police yeah you can and I couldn't let the thieves throw up the house no you can absolutely do that they already stolen the cars which are like the most valuable thing in the house anyway Kelly could bark at any moment I didn't have my phone but there had to be a phone inside so I came up with a crazy idea don't go inside call off the burglars you're inside what are you gonna do call 9-1-1 from inside the house oh that's exact what she's gonna do isn't it that's it humming a song and walked into the yard and I cried out mrs. Ward mr. Ward are you back it's me it's me - ow Carla who wouldn't hurt a fly or a burglar for that matter I still kept on pretending that I was looking for mr. and mrs. Ward so that the thieves didn't suspect too much trouble from me it's not the problem Carla the thieves aren't just like oh she's only looking for the people that were robbing so what's keep stealing shit yes there was a phone on the table I grabbed it and press the button can you believe it the line was dead can you believe it the thieves cut the line it's almost like organized criminals think of more stuff than me a 14-year old but didn't have any time to work out a plan B I've got a plan B for you maybe leave the place with a team of burglars all of a sudden I saw a mobile phone on the side table mr. Ward must have forgotten it that was there one mistake cars stolen phone line okay how about that smart phone that's just sitting there out in the open was I supposed to take that that was my chance I decided to not call the police so that the thieves could not understand what I was saying what I found my mother's number and mr. Ward's phone and called her I asked her to call the police in Spanish the thieves will never decipher call the police in Spanish because in Spanish police is la policia Carla finally realizes that the thieves probably noticed her taking a phone call out in the open so she decides to leave but what's this I was ready to book out the door but then I realized that the guys upstairs for thinking about doing the same thing yeah but you're right next to the door so I think you got this so she tries to leave but she foolishly tied the dog to the railing and can't get the knot undone then one of the criminals starts walking down the stairs and the dog magically breaks free from the leash and starts rushing at the criminal and then just in the nick of plot the police arrived so the day is saved put in an unexpected move Carla's mom is disappointed if only you knew how she scolded me afterwards but yeah that's my mum no that's pretty much anybody after hearing your ridiculous story mr. and mrs. board was shocked when they found out what it happened you never expect these kind of stories when you come back from vacation no it's kind of a common thing actually you should watch the other videos on this channel called actually happened where people get their houses robbed while there are big mrs. Ward said I'd been a very brave girl but the deed itself was pretty stupid everything could have ended differently I thought about it later and came to the conclusion that her words made sense after a lot of deep reflection I came to the conclusion that a 14-year old girl is not equipped to take on a gang of thieves the more you know it was an unnecessary risk to get into the house with as it turned out five thieves or five beads doing them in house that or they already stole two cars what else reserves steal I'm kind of mystified at how these channels like magically manufacture this clickbait that they then never deliver on and I think I figured out how to do it okay so basically all these channels use the same kind of click bait for starters it has to be in first person because you're a kid so it's got to start with I or my or whatever then you've got to decide if it's happened to you directly or your mom your dad or your crush because everyone has a crush then you gotta have something bad happen you know for a click bait you know whenever they do talk about good things those videos do pretty well so I don't know why they keep going in such a negative direction but here we are so you got to talk about death or crime betrayal or some sort of emotional manipulation sometimes you got a couple like with my friend almost died after betraying me honestly it feels like you could teach an AI to generate believable actually happened video titles so I did but let me throw it over to old Jarvis thanks to Jarvis so I got the title of every single actually happen video and then I used this statistical modeling technique called Markov chains to generate new actually happen titles that don't exist based on the ones that do essentially you just look at all the words in the titles and you try to figure out which word is likely to come after a given word it's very similar to how text suggestions work on your phone for example if you look at all the actually happen videos that start with the word my it's very common for the next word to be mom or dad or parents and many do that for every single word in all the titles and now I have a program that can make titles that sound like actually happen titles my dad became an Instagram star overnight back to you new Jarvis thanks for Travis I'm so dumb I have made a website called animated story titles calm that you can go to and generate these titles for yourself I almost some of them are really dark but I guess the actually happen stories are really dark too so it works out I almost drowned and lost all my money in a card game my girlfriend is a grandma I had a fake boyfriend but he taught me something my dad's last gift went missing and it killed their family I spent way too much time on this so I hope you enjoy it and if you find any good titles please send them to me on Twitter Instagram add Jarvis because of eight years old least don't make me laugh I'm depressed but my friends think I'm a vegetarian and my dad fucking crazy that was fun okay now let's get into the last video which is called my friends think I'm dead and it's about a kid who has to go into witness protection because his dad did some sort of unnamed crime there's not many details in this story at all and we'll see soon that it kind of encapsulates everything that's wrong with this channel hi everyone I know I have to introduce myself here first but unfortunately I can't you'll learn why in the next few minutes dude just make a fake name it's like every literally everyone on this channel does that there are plenty of details in this story that will have to remain secret for safety reasons but I figured why not share with millions of people but it's all been so hard over the last few weeks that I I just need to get it off my chest so this story is actually pretty boring because there's basically no details uh-huh but he used to be a normal kid but now he's not I've always known that my dad had something to do with finance so I didn't get too suspicious when a couple of men in suits appeared at our house but it was hard not to notice that something was wrong when the next time they came they took my dad with them it was hard not to notice something was wrong when my dad was abducted I'm sorry I can't get into details look we get it you choose the details of the story he left the keep telling us about what you're leaving out but the story was that my dad was involved in a crime he was now a witness and apparently he was in danger I never asked about who these people were that could put us in danger because I didn't really want to know that much about what my dad was up to well son unfortunately we have to change our identities and leave town because I have powerful enemies who might try to kill us no questions here so they go into the witness protection program imagine how shocked I was to learn one morning that I had to pack my things meet the essentials because we were leaving that same night I guess the officials advised my parents not tell me anything in case I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret judging by the fact that the story exists good move don't they move to another town and change their identities and this is how they depict that move it's a work of art we were allowed to keep our first names but we got a new last name it took me several weeks to get used to my new last name and a couple of times I almost said the old one out loud in class when do you even say your last name in class alright let's see let's start with the J's today Jarvis is there a Jarvis here Johnson oh I mean DiCaprio so they say that due to witness protection this whole family had to like fake their death which I looked into it and that's not a thing in the witness-protection for a game they you just changed your last name and you moved to a new city the danger was so serious everyone in our hometown had to think we were dead yeah not a thing a little later I learned that there was even a news story about the three of us dying in a car crash that meant a lot of things it mostly meant that this story is fake that was the first time I was glad I never had grandma's or grandpa's we only had a couple of distant relatives who wouldn't notice if we lost touch cover up anyway this story is done after this video it made me think like wow these stories are so similar and they all have the same structure I wonder if I can teach an algorithm to to write a script to a hole actually happened story like I I made a thing for four titles and the answer to that is no so I downloaded all the subtitle files for actually hacking videos and I fed them into this very sophisticated lingo to model called GPT - and I trained it on those files and tried to use it to generate like actually happen scripts these are just a couple of the ones that I got back but most of these are in the Twitter thread of mine that I can also link I have to work to survive after my dad lost all his friends hi my name is Claire and I was born six months Cal hi I'm Nancy and I must confess I was found guilty by the entire community and I wish I could tell everyone the same but first a prologue it turns out I can't sew and it's wrote one the old-fashioned way hi my name is Lee Orton funny name I know I'm 13 years old and my story is well I'll just let you make up your own mind about it it's just that well it turns out that my dearest friends in the world apparently can't trust me I've always been a bit of a private kid I was an only child and I was also homeschooled so I didn't have many opportunities to meet kids in the real world so instead I spent a lot of time online I loved the Internet it was amazing I could communicate instantly with other kids my age about anything cartoons toys whatever I was into at the time and it let me build real relationships with people since my parents were always away at work I guess you could say the internet raised me more than my parents did most of my friends I met playing online games my favorite game is this one called run escape it's a labor simulator were you just cut trees and fish all day but it's weirdly really fun anyway everything was all fun and games until the day my entire life was completely ruined it started like any normal day I woke up hopped online and one of my longtime internet friends n-word say or 69 asked me liron how do I know you're a real person I only know you online so you could be lying about who you really are maybe you're not a kid like me maybe you're an artificial intelligence or an old man or worse a 26 year old youtuber trying to make a point he was right I am a 26 year old youtuber trying to make a point just kidding I'm totally a relatable kid I explained this to my buddy and he was like oh right what was they thinking Benny sent me is bank routing an account number like I asked you mean got back to our favorite labor simulator I mean MMORPG the moral of the story is the Internet is really dumb because you say basically anything and a lot of people believe you and you shouldn't always believe them unless they're pretending to be a kid I mean they are a kid like me I am a kid 100 percent so after making a bunch of videos about these animated stories and watching hours upon hours of them I hate it now so I'm not gonna do it anymore I know that there are a bunch more animation stories I know about minute videos I know about share my story are they real are they fake I don't care the world may never know just be dubious of anything that purports to be real on the Internet that's that's the moral here and now the video is over thanks to block a here follow me on Twitter I've no idea if I'm saying there right if you want me to butcher your name follow me on Instagram or Twitter it's all I want

Channel: Jarvis Johnson

Views: 3,214,201

Keywords: jarvis, jarvis johnson, actually happened, my story animated, danny gonzalez, drew gooden, kurtis conner

Id: KWqaUHFhE8M

Length: 22min 57sec (1377 seconds)

Published: Wed May 01 2019