Everything Wrong With Raya and the Last Dragon In 19 Minutes Or Less

[Music] wishing star sweeping music trains fireworks castle monopoly the steamboat willie whistling logo without the whistling if you're gonna spend almost a full minute on two self-aggrandizing logos i demand whistling i know what you're thinking and yet here you are still narrating a dystopian world how did this world get so broken the movie just started and i was not wondering any of these things we were showing a broken statue thing with some rocks a rolly creature and some statues that could very well be an art installment of some kind i mean now i have questions but that's on you i've watched this interaction several times now and really the only thing that i need to tell you is that moana did it better and i'm shocked that nobody decided to tell the writers this is what we used to be antelope it should have been this big inspirational moment but instead people being people people borders were drawn kumandra divided wasn't it nice that they divided equally also did you drawing borders create the rivers that's just not how maps work the only creature i know that can create a river is a phoenix but that's not how the world broke my mother tells stories like this she calls from a hospital and tells me about the 10 hours before going to the hospital before finally saying that everything is fine and it was indigestion it's at the goddamn point that didn't truly happen until 500 years later so we just spent 90 seconds going 500 years back in time to not be told how the world broke and now our expositionally throws forward 500 years to finally get to the point mind you this next sequence is still not present day we're just making a pit stop to the most recent backstory explained in the world split before returning to the actual story that we are here to see i mean the view is great it seems like this palace would easily be fortified but all the sewage would collect down here right just a swampy bog sort of hanging out directly underneath your pretty donut world who wants to live in a pretty donut world if it's poised over a lake [Applause] all right disney animations trend of having alan tudyk voice a wordless cute animal sidekick in every movie is one i can get behind and tuck duck is one of the cutest so one sent off for the amazing alan tutor did you really need tuck tuck to trigger the traps you're already going to crawl under them and you know they're set off by depressing the stones is it really any better to have your living popple do it than you that was awesome give me some shell that is your hand and not your shell you ignorant half insect half mammal adorable monstrosity boy it sure is neat oh that the standard size of these stick weapons happens to be the standard size of the holes in these ancient door puzzles this feels too easy which is why you should say that phrase audibly so it echoes through this chamber and attracts danger which of course isn't actually danger because this is all and your cover would have been blown the moment this massive door opened up with this sound i'd just like to point out that she's slow-mo leaping here that she just jumped from a horizontal position with probably a 60-inch vertical and yes i've seen the simone biles video too but that was on those bouncy gymnast mats and not a wet rock so forgive me if i'm a bit fed up that we're already going full fast and furious physics here battle pretending to be between enemies is revealed to be between friends but you already knew that because we're onto your movie cliche wow the spirit of sisu spirit i thought this was just dragon magic you know i'm all for explaining things that matter but we're not even 10 minutes in and my little notebook is filled with confusion just say dragons or stones magic rock is important and let's go you are now a guardian of the dragon gem why because she got a toe on a rock shouldn't there be a few more steps before becoming an official guardian like oh i don't know becoming an adult first i'm glad you feel prepared dewdrop because i have something important to tell you it was in this moment that good old dad realized he had forgotten to train anyone other than his prepubescent daughter to assist in guarding the gym against an angry mob really tell me what you know about the other lens and when i say me i really mean the audience this movie is going hard with its early forced exposition if i weren't me i'd almost be impressed making one of your tribes main skills fruit ninja also you caught a single piece of fruit and just wasted the rest your resource management sucks we're going to share a meal with them dad is over here making symbolic soup but none of what he says can be trusted when he adds the kumandra ingredients into the soup and doesn't let them steep long enough to release their flavor raya there's a reason why each land is named after a part of the dragon lack of creativity in the writer room the realization that too many new names of things will immediately anger your audience am i close if this scene makes you uncomfortable it's because you're sitting like a croissant hunched over your screen and your subconscious is screaming at you to sit the up so your organs can breathe and your spine can actually align itself as originally designed today we can be kumandra once more nice speech chief benja but why'd you really bring us here are you gonna rob us great question well i'm sure that you demanded to be answered before traveling across the map to the doorstep of your presumed enemy i have something to say and because this is a movie this entire group of previously grumble cussing adults will shut up and listen or swords blades all day right okay dressy or casual this is the most boring game i would you rather ever let's get to the good stuff would you rather fight ten dragon sized riots or a hundred riot sized dragons hit the comments below with your thoughts and don't forget to like subscribe and click that notification are you supposed to have that no which is why i'm taking it out in front of everyone in this very open room duh i'm not stupid so tuck talk will follow them up these stairs how exactly convenient flare friendly open-air hiding place is inconvenient conveniently also if the roof has a giant hole in it with which one could blast a firework and called for aid wouldn't it allow anyone to repel into the unguarded temple and steal the gemstone also also that's quite an explosion for a firework being housed in a tiny pole trigger wait how did he manage to get from the palace all the way up to the temple scale the building and drop into the hole in the roof just as the baddies who were right outside the entrance arrive i haven't seen anyone get to the hole that quickly since my cop what is this thanks making a play for the gem how is anyone getting here this quickly listen to me and because this is a movie this entire group of previously grumble cussing rioting adults will shut up and listen they're repelled by water ah for the love of a quiet signs of oz of course they are why are you saying this because you can't talk and walk at the same time or jump in the water with you or use the gym piece look murder's got a martyr i guess i guess i won't be eating this anymore ryan has been chucked into the water and while processing the ball trail she has enough sense to grasp the gem and also not drown kids man they're resilient movie takes 20 minutes to bring us to the present and boy am i looking forward to the pace settling down and all the cuts from place to place seizing you know just let the story develop like a well-seasoned soup on the stovetop i'm going to add 10 cents now for whatever bull explains away ryan's ability to control the speed and direction of a roly-poly hedgehog muffin of a mount so raya's visited here here here and here and then skip this one to go here i mean why not go in order east to west west to east no matter which way there's no reason to skip this location on the map unless you have a toaster for a brain i've searched every river to find you and now i'm here at the very last one and of course the last one is the right one even though the chances of that are slim everywhere except in movies here we must achieve ultimate desperation before success is granted i trusted someone i shouldn't have [Music] and now the world's broken it's true her dad should never have been trusted he trained a middle schooler to guard a gym rather than a small army of people capable of holding back an attack and then he chucked her off a bridge without warning what an oh you met namari well really really want my back the skip sponsored by chili's i know this is meant to be a beautiful ceremony and all but where the is all this stuff coming from she lit a couple claims and has some brush to display some other a map of matte a perfect flower and some star leaves and a leaf bowl where is her bag of holding hello i don't know guys i feel like the entire rest of this movie is an apology for not having mushu in the live action mulan and honestly it's too late to apologize it's too late when exactly do you think today is tuesday the internet's reaction every time i forget to post a sins video somehow makes it into the script oh my oh this is bad this is bad that the rolly is stuck on its back again and unable to ride itself despite having years of its life to develop a way to avoid being doomed to death in this precarious position yes it is bad someone should go out there and help this idiot back up have you ever done like a group project but there's like that one kid who didn't pitch in as much but still ended up with the same grade and now we know that in a beautiful utopian society even dragons are subjected to the other that is group projects what a downer if we can get all the other gem pieces i can reassemble it and boom the drone away oh it's my favorite part of these movies you know when an incredible leap in logic is made without question or reason and for a bonus both characters happen to say the same thing at the same time what a little horse but here we go presumably raya would have needed to exit this ravine the same way she came which leads us to assume that she would pass her nemesis since damari was hot on her heels a moment ago but somehow ryan is all the way up here far away from tomorrow in a crew without seeing each other okay so here's the stitch after the gem broke whoa whoa whoa more maps planing more maps position more catching you up with information you need to enjoy the rest of this movie we're in a half hour in get your together disney wow so many questions first one why why am i wearing this better question how did you find the resources to create this did the shipwreck happen to have a tablecloth and a sisu-sized hat those ropes are so far apart shaq could shimmy through them are the commanders made of underwire because they are terrible booby trappers i just changed into people with clothes on and a foot wrapping because why not and also at the perfect time too it's almost like the order of discovering the gem pieces has been predetermined by some sort of script someone stole thanks dragon scroll oh is that why you're chasing me why would ry i need to go through the trouble of stealing fang's dragon scroll when she had her own map of the rivers used the stolen scroll during the summon ritual but how did she know she needed the squirrel to complete that ritual and furthermore frya had spent six years looking for susu and didn't have the scroll as she went to the end of each previous river wouldn't she need to go back to each river's end to repeat the failed ritual my point is there's no reason for riot to have the scroll in the first place attempted murder i suppose after watching tuck tuck fall from a cliff and dive into water without an issue that i should have no trouble believing it can also keep itself up into a boat without issue but i can't what is happening my friend's a really strong swimmer accepting this explanation someone could see you or more likely hear you since you basically just yelled i'm a water dragon seems like that might be the greater concern why would he poison us yeah why would i poison you oh sure that you hear this dragon graveyard's on for some time where are you guys heading after talon i might be heading there too i mean for a fee of course mercenaries although it was i expecting someone who would do it for free like some sort of boondock saint lucky for me empty pockets lucky is cece's clothing not chosen somehow when she transforms into a people is the idea here that sisu has to wear her siblings clothing which is why the sleeves extend past her hands dragon magic is dumb what dang i lacks in style he makes up in mean i'm sorry lacks in style his clothes match he has on frisbee bangles massive jewels and his beard is very nicely groomed he's straight up dripping all right look i'll accept a lot from animated films but a superhuman con baby is a no-go for me it's like disney farmed out an entire character to dreamworks and just dropped it in the movie with no changes and yes i know there are dragons in magic and reverse flowing water and i don't care con baby and her three ong migos might be the dumbest thing disney has ever done and i'm adding 10 cents pay us back later we don't know you and yet we all waited till you were done with the shopping montage to confront you because oh movie hey how would you like to earn some honest loot and by honest she means still crying but crying for her benefit instead of just you wrong i'm shy the flower guy movie has time for this fog yeah that was my brother jagan's magic arch you're gonna believe the convenience of that fog well we're stuck with them for a while because angies have nine stomachs but they're still tiny animals right not a matter of how many stomachs they have it's a matter of what fits inside the stomach in fact the lining of nine stomachs would take up more room than just having one giant stomach would you rather have nine one inch or one nine inch hit the comments below with your thoughts and don't forget to like subscribe we're running out of room we need to expand to the mainland without proper protection it would be a death sentence for our people look around there's space everywhere tents could go here a little shack over there it would ruin the whole ambiance of wealth a bit but that's a whole other issue look around look around look around how lucky you want to be alive right now seriously how lucky that you already had built this canal right here and also got back across it so quickly when the drone were hot on your tail or pot on your fang or whatever this isn't an emotional decision it's the only decision we can make to secure fang's future not the only decision just the one you really want to jump on right if the fang can create this sort of structure certainly they could adapt any number of these pieces of land into a fortifiable island take a trench let the water fill in boom secured are these people just dumb in hindsight maybe i was a little hasty in hindsight we will all wonder why sisu didn't immediately morph into a dragon to save themselves my name is tong and i kick open my own doors and remain standing outside with half my head above the door frame for reasons completely unrelated to making a cinematic point about the size of my character i'm not sure what's funny you should have lunch with the person responsible for the con baby character for this movie the two of you could trade stories about not understanding what makes something funny i was born and bred to do only one thing to invoke fear and to crush the skulls of mine enemies that's actually two things sisu would soar at cinemasins will you help us the answer is yes because this is a disney movie and the previous minutes of threat and distrust simply melt away for no reason yeah i knew you couldn't handle rolling solo you're nothing without your band this i'm outnumbered but i challenge your pride so we can fight one-on-one tricks somehow always works in movies but you never hear of it working in real life you know why because everyone who's tried it is lying dead after being wasted by a large group of enemies did you just hit me with the shrimp tail nope rewinded to confirm that was a whole shrimp this is a sin for you thinking a shrimp tail would feel that hefty and for wasting a perfectly good shrimp when were you gonna tell us she was season this shot makes it seem like they are all mad at her for playing hide the dragon but honestly tonk just met her and this cuddly has known the entire time i want to help i'm sorry i can't let you do that damn ryan how about boone you have a boat massive enough to carry everyone important to this plot you already have been helping this idea that the dragons run on water in the air instead of flying is actually kind of inspired and beautiful and dammit i'm about to take another scene off all right everyone here's the plan thus when you thought there could be no more flashing back the movie tricks us and flashes forward well simultaneously patting itself on the back for technically joining the list of heist movies now they're protected by an artificial canal that separates them from the rest of the world meaning all the fang lives on this tiny island yeah i think i'd rather go with boone's plan here's a plan idea how about the shape-shifting fogging rain-dancing dragon just goes in there and takes it why are you making elaborate plans when you've got falcor on speed dial also come to think of it why not form a plan to make it instantly rain around everyone during drone attacks to avoid being overtaken this is where it all happened 500 years ago and is nobody gonna question how cesar knew where her dead brothers and sisters were kept after all this time don't tell me they've been frozen in the same place for 500 years because if that were the case they'd be lined up like this that's amba i get my glow from her we know this we've been through this every time you get a new fragment you just position us as to which sibling had which power don't double exposition me disney swear to god i will end you and all the dragon movies you've ever made pete's dragon and that's prani she's a shape-shifter she was a shape-shifter he's now just a shaped statue i just consulted the guidebook for flashback overuse and can confidently tell you that this movie is now most assuredly a prequel to raya 2. you wouldn't just bring your bob back he'd also bring back his dream kumandra and here's a convenient bridge peeping hole to spot him and further pound that point into the ground it was sisu she can fix what we broke she can bring everyone back and they lived happily ever after because namori was right and no one would be stupid enough to not realize the magic dragon who fixed it the first time would be the best bet to stop it the second time the end this works all of it any of this works none of this should work she shoots sisu by the seashore the she she shoots is sisu i'm sure so if she shoots sisu by the seashore i'm sure sisu won't stay dead and we'll come back to live so all the tension of this final act feels a bit forced what's happening a visual representation of my interest in this movie being sucked dry amari's mom had a massive piece of the gemstone stuck on the end of a stick and every time we've seen her she's been holding onto it like it's her goddamn woobie sure namari needs to be rid of her possessive parent in order to make whatever important decisions will save the movie but her mom shouldn't have been turned to stone and raya should be fighting two women with the edgy i need to speak to the manager hairdo right now yes honey follow the baby to safety said no one ever get to the water keep going to the water the water that just disappeared and allowed the drone to invade the city mere minutes ago is there a secret final toilet bowl somewhere look it's another one shot that whips around each of our heroes to perfectly capture how awesome they are it's like the avengers if the avengers were made up of characters i had barely met and didn't really care about of course the individuals holding the gem pieces happen to be gathered together as the ground gives way it's like i willed this moment to happen i was just thinking can this movie get any lower down the list and then they literally sink down into the ground do i have powers also these are super fortunate to fall down into this hole and all the rocks and debris missed them completely of course no time to think about that since the next scene is everyone warding off the drone and apparently the debris just made a roof magic is almost gone because what would a finale be when on some sort of ticking clock the drone swarm wasn't enough i mean what appointed moment all the tribes coming together completely ruined by the fact that only one of these people is making the hands-out pose that we all assumed was mandatory up until now now that the movie wants to pound in the unity message just a little bit more these four get a team pose oh it's back someone put on a finger movie because i am jack's complete lack of surprise man that magical aslan breath reign seems really important it would be a shame if a massive portion of the population were indoors during this pivotal downpour so i guess someone dragged her ass out into the rain so she could be blessed by the magical dewdrops of unity it's really cool that all these dragons gathered together to dramatically gallop over the waterfalls toward all the important people and that children is how magical dragon sperm fertilize the happy ending egg i don't want any of you questioning how these dragons knew where cesu's dead waterlogged corpse was hidden under the waves the answer has something to do with dragon homing instincts and sacred geometry shame on you for questioning the validity of their immediate and unquestioning plan to bring olaf back to life oh sure now your leg is fine to run which just reminds me that you basically gave up earlier and let yourself get stoned actually giving up and getting stoned sounds pretty good here's a few extra sins for whatever i miss from here oh no he died that all began 500 years ago the four nations lived together in harmony then everything changed when the fire nation attacked how about shrimp paste from tail lemongrass from talon bamboo shoots from spine chili's from fang and palm sugar from heart it's too complicated for me it's too many different textures and flavors things look a little tense spa don't worry i'm gonna open with a joke so there's this guy walsh you understand he's tired of screwing his wife i've been asleep for 500 years we'll give you such a crick in the neck after all why not why shouldn't i keep it we got shrimp you can barbecue it boil it broil it bake it saute it daisy on shrimp kebabs shrimp creole shrimp gumbo the captain where is the captain let me go get him i'm the captain i like children for breakfast i too wish to join this fellowship of drone but chicory and my axe super flow plan am i right yeah well say we do all that we're just supposed to walk out of there with a hundred and fifty million dollars in cash on us three two one care bear stare

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 1,346,083

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, raya and the last dragon, everything wrong with raya and the last dragon, cinemasins raya and the last dragon, raya and the last dragon review, raya and the last dragon movie, raya and the last dragon 2021, reaction, recap, raya

Id: anSeRP_NB34

Length: 20min 52sec (1252 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 24 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/ROBOT_B9]

The biggest problem IMO is that this should have been a TV show rather than a movie. It would have allowed the worldbuilding to be more enhanced and interesting.

[u/cambiro]

When I watched it the first time, all I could hear was the "ding" sound at each exposition...