(slow orchestral music) - Enjoy your meal! - Thanks, you too! (laughing) Wait. I didn't mean to say "you too". - Oh that's okay. It happens all the time. - Okay great.
(laughing) But that's also not to
say that like you can't... You're not allowed to enjoy a meal. Like when you have one next. If you have one. Like if you go on break, you can enjoy that. (awkward chuckling)
So enjoy your meal then, when you have it. It's not up to me. I'm sure you'll eat some time, but I'm not the viceroy of lunch. The duke of dinners! It's not me. I'm not in charge of you. Cause you have agency over your own body, your own life, this is you, you be you. - Cool.
- And I'll keep being me. - Cool.
- Yeah! - Cool.
- For sure. - Cool.
(awkward chuckling) So...
- Yeah. - All good.
- All set. Are you mad at me? - Yeah. (slow orchestral music) (crunching) - [Narrator] Every awkward moment ever. - Potting. - Mike! What's up, man? - Hey! Who the hell is that?
(dramatic music) I definitely know him, but what's his name? And why do I know him? - How have you been? I haven't seen you around lately! - Around where? Where haven't I been lately? The gym? Oh it's the gym! Uh, yeah! I've just been really lazy. How is the lifting? You lifting a lot? - Lifting? - Okay, so it's not the gym! And now he knows. I need to save this. You got... You're strong! You look strong! - Oh, really? Thanks man. How's Lisa? - He knows Lisa! I wonder if I can text
her without him knowing? Good! She's doing good! Doing all good. Good things, mostly.
(camera shutter clicks) - Did you just take a photo of me? - No.
- Okay. Just cause it looks like you- - Well it was nice to see you... Larry? - It was good to see you, Mike. Yeah. - I was gonna buy this, but it's really expensive. - Potting mix?
- Yeah. Cause we know each other. Would you mind buying me some potting mix? - Absolutely not. - Larry. - [Narrator] That was so supes awk. (funky electronic music) (woman sneezing) - Bless you. - That was a cough. (blowing air through lips) - [Narrator] Awky talky! (scanner beeps)
- Yeah. I think they'll look nice above the bed. Val? - Oh! Oh! Hey Brian!
- Hey! - This must be your new um... - Oh my gosh yeah! I'm so sorry! This is Ashley! She is a philanthropist
and model with a PhD. Ashley, this is Val! We used to date! - Yeah! Good to meet you Ashley! I have a boyfriend as well! He works right next to me! Crazy. (chuckling) - What? I'm not her boyfriend. I'm very gay, and even if I wasn't, I would never date her. We have nothing in common. - Oh... Val, you don't have to... If you haven't moved on yet, that's fine. - Oh, I totally have moved on. Yeah. He is extremely gay.
- Yeah I am. - I don't know what I was talking about. Goodbye Tyler!
(crashing) (snapping)
That's my boyfriend! There he is! Oh my god he was hiding! Scuze me Ashley. Model, whatever you are. He can't hear a lot, but we totally make it work.
- What? - Val... Please don't lie. Just be who you are. - I'm not lying, Brian. - Is that Clark Gable? - No. I love you so much. - Wow. - It's good to see you Val. - So cool to see you buddy. It is awesome. Great meeting you, woman of the year!
- I need to go. - Yeah. He needs to go.
- I went. - Oh my god. Okay. Let's go let's go. Bye, we're heading out.
- Wait, no. Aren't you going to finish
scanning our lights? - No I cannot. - I fought in the Seven Days War! - He's a veteran!
- You know the crazy thing is, that I fought for eight days! Yeah they couldn't find me. I was lost in the desert. - Thank you for your service, sir! - [Narrator] Ew. That conversation was so awksauce. (upbeat guitar music) - Hey Tyler!
- Hey! - Thanks for giving me a ride, since my car's in the shop. - Oh yeah. It's not a problem at all. - I really appreciate it. Things have been really hard since Patrick lost his job. - Oh my god, I'm so sorry! - Not just money wise. Losing his job has made him feel like less of a man. And honestly, it's made him pretty
insecure in the bedroom. And usually he's extremely dominant in our very active sex life, and now he just wants constant assurance that I'm still into it, which frankly makes me drier than a prune in the desert. - Okay. Should we just drive then? Let's go, yeah. - Oh no. Traffic. - (sighing) - It's gonna take us
forever to get to work. (sighing) Anyway. Last night, we tried teacher student role play. - (groaning)
- He ended up crying! - (groaning)
- But it was actually okay! Because the moisture from his tears made me moist!
- (retching) - [Narrator] I just fill awkward silences with my laughter. (laughing) (toilet flushing) - Oh. Hey man. Just so you know, I didn't cause the smell in there. - Weren't you just in there? - Yeah yeah. But I didn't cause the smell. The smell was already there when I went in to take a pee, but the smell was already there. And it was bad. It was really bad before, but now it's better, because I breathed in like 30 percent of the smell. I took in some of it, and so it's better now. So you should be thanking me. Honestly. So.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- Can I go in there now? - Yeah yeah. But I didn't poop. So you know. I took a pee. (intense music) I didn't... Nope. (music swells) I pooped. I pooped. - I know. (sad piano music) I know. C'mere.
- (sobbing) I (beep) took a huge (beep). - I know, I know. - I did! (sobbing) - Now I need to go to the bathroom, cause it's my time. It's for me. - I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! - [Narrator] If the
first date feels awkward, that's okay. You're just both very horny. - If I crop it this way, I lose the appeal of it.
- Sure. But you wanna keep in the lit environ-
- Oh my god. We just touched hands. That's so awkward. - That's not awkward at all. That's just an accident. It's fine.
- Uh, Shane. That's like a really intimate action. Touching hands. Like oh my god. - Our fingers bumped into each other. It's not a big deal. - Awkward! (cringing and grunting) - It's only awkward because you're saying it's awkward like that. - You're the one talking about it! You're still making it so awkward. - What are you doing? It's not awkward.
- I can't believe how awkward this is! (screeching)
- It's not awkward. - Touching me! Stop touching me! So awkward!
- It's not awkward. Awkward moment! That awkward moment when we touch hands! (groaning and giggling) Awkward! (beep) - And like,
(claps) I get that you're working hard, cause I used to work retail too, for like a summer. - This isn't retail. - I know, but it's so similar. - Excuse me?
- Like- - Excuse me? - Our breaks were so important to us. - I'm sorry. Today's my last fucking day.
- Right. - Okay? - I like that you-
- So just- - Serve yourself. And I respect that. - I hope I don't see you ever again. - You might! - I hope I don't.
- Cause you don't know where I work! So you're gonna have to
avoid every business. - Enjoy your meal. - Thank you, you two. (inhales sharply) (beep} - No! - I'm sorry!
- No! (beep) - It's chill if you haven't moved on yet. - No I totally have! And he's so right! I have nothing in common with this gay guy!
(thud) (laughing) - [Director] We're taking again! (beep) - I love you so much! - I once got a kiss from Ingrid Bergman! - I've no idea who that is. - And I had a threesome with Grace Kelly! - Okay! He's from a different time! - That's really cool that you guys found each other. Despite the generational gap. (beep) - He's usually dominant, and I'm very just, the passive one, and I think it's almost like role reversal now.
- (sobbing) - And I'm totally okay with it. Oh my god you're crying! Which means I'm getting horny! - (screaming)
(beep) - I went in and peed, just peed. The smell was already there. (giggling)
- I'm so sorry. (beep) - The smell was there when I went in. I peed. I just took a pee. But...
(giggling) - Why's that funnier than poop? It should not be. (beep) - I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to! I just-
- You mean you were standing up, and you accidentally pooped? - No, I-
(laughing) (beep) - You done? - Yeah. The awkward moment's over. - Okay. Cause that was insane. - Okay. But can you help me still?
- Yeah. - Right here.
- Yeah. Oh!
- Oh my god! - Oh my god! Our legs touched! That's so awkward!
- Hey don't! - That's so awkward!
- Oh my god! - Oh my god that's so! (slap slap) That's so awkward! - (laughing) Do not do that! - It's awkward! Ah you karate chopped my stomach! That's awkward!
- I didn't touch you! You're awkward! Now I'm genuinely awkward!
- You're awkward! - (laughing) Oh my god! - You're being awkward! - Call cut please! - That's so awkward! - Aw this is a real take!
- (groaning) - This is really happening.
- (groaning) (laughing) (beep) - Hi! Thanks for watching this video. We have other videos. That one over there. And if you wanna buy our merch, we have a thing down there too. - Yeah. - Or if you wanna subscribe. - You can subscribe.
- You can. - What is this?
- What? - Just what is this? You can subscribe.
- I just... - To... You can subscribe.
