Episode 32 - My Name Is Corey Wayne

what's up guys welcome to TMZ podcasts this is actually last week's episode if you want today's episode that'll be on our patreon right now you can get it a week early if you contribute its patron calm slash tiny meet gang so thanks if you do that and if not enjoyed this one who's hello balls ah ball sack goddamn ball sack alright guys good to be back good love your buddy no let me try that again good afternoon or morning depending on where you are we are here live in the ding-ding Palace here to debut brand-new sounds by the tiny Amit's gang we need everybody to put their hands high forget your troubles and feel this bass permanent pendant pendant oh [ __ ] you do that way too well things didn't you really do sound like every single DJ likes behind a man I'm trying I hear ya so we wanted to start this episode out we I don't know if you guys have seen but on the patreon for 15,000 we have a goal that if we hit that number we will make a song the whole song a whole song for patreon yeah and so we did that now we've been at 15,000 for like a month and we finally we finally feel comfortable in that in that in that goal so we're gonna do it we made a song and we're gonna play for you it's for you guys yeah and you only really understand it if you listen to the podcast yeah it's it's very very nuanced yeah try play yeah dang hey here it is guys this one's for you thank you for 15 K big thing 3,000 patrons yeah three [ __ ] thousand I was actually saying he doesn't paying people atlas I was just staring at that number yesterday like wow that's insane yeah so this one's for you guys enjoy bang produced by me [Music] my name is Cory Wayne my name is Cory [Music] that's my wife I'm her guy she's my life I do what the [ __ ] she says if she don't moon I'm the tides but I got this little worried if it's true I might die suicide cuz she got another man on the side who the [ __ ] is that who the [ __ ] is that I'm not [ __ ] playing Carroll who the [ __ ] is that you [ __ ] on those mats thought this was yoga class he all up in yo ass I'm finna kill my ass oh my name is Cory Wayne my name is Cory Wayne these [ __ ] on my brain these [ __ ] on my brain wish [Music] my name is my name is dinger yeah damn dinger look at that one that's for you guys that's Rory Wayans because I'm gonna put on Soundcloud so if you want to like listen to it more it's gonna be on there it's gonna be on our tiny meek gang SoundCloud yeah but I was just thinking like what if Cory Wayne finds this he's yeah he'll be like that is not at all who I am I'm just giving advice like it's like a weird form of bullying where we're joking about him and we don't actually know who he is we just have some weird impression from a bunch of thumbnails we saw that he's cheated on a lot but like when when I was finding that audio clip of him saying you know that's what I thought yeah he just like gives like yeah like genuine advice is this does the clickbait title so that people click it I mean I I feel like he could only be I feel like that'd be funny to him definitely not I think so I think once explained the whole song about him getting cheated on I mean yes but like he is a theme song now he's the chorus his name is in the course real name okay maybe you're right like it's like a diss track out of nowhere I mean we're gonna have to like write a statement we redact our previous song we would like to clear the record and state formerly state that a coach Cory Wayne does not get cheated on he's happily married no he's gonna DM us and be like guys what the hell like I don't even know you guys and whatever I'm like a man hey maybe if you didn't get so upset about this stuff you would get cheated on so much this is your issue yeah I don't get cheated on I don't why is your head so big your face yeah that's the new Pinocchio when you're lying your head just gets more and more cold in here is weirdly hot yeah yeah I got that June gloom going on right now sort of I know this is the most depressing part of I like it do you it makes me more productive okay that's in what way like I just want to sit in my room and make music [ __ ] around yeah whatever when it's sunny do you want to go out yeah do [ __ ] yeah want to go drink rose' yeah froze a yeah froze a yeah that's what I want to drink man it is I feel like I mean two weeks was a long time but I honestly feel like I've been gone like three months yeah how does it feel to be back in America I mean great yeah no Europe's got its perks but it's great to be back yeah yeah well as the was the best part about Europe I would say Amsterdam honestly it's just it's a cool City everything's walk did you ever go to that restaurant told you go to no because we had like a bunch of other [ __ ] lined up I know I'm sorry oh you got too busy and lunch dude you couldn't just clear two hours at the best restaurant of all time well we had some we had some brunch picked out man I'm telling you this would have been better if you if you guys are in ever in Amsterdam this place called Morgan and Mies [ __ ] just oh the breakfast I had was pretty it was so good I remember the name really yeah that kid can't be that good they just blew me away we went there like four or five times Oh was it was that good I um greetings everyone greetings everyone it is Mark winds Here I am in Amsterdam eating that feasting on some delicious [ __ ] here in the red-light district munching on some yummy wet wet just elated to be finally sinking my teeth into that giant juicy puss-puss and I'm just going to be swallowing on the CEO and mark Wiens prostitution reviews oh dude I figured I figured out who we are we are we are the jacks on on YouTube all right with this with this because we just keep picking the nicest guys coach Cory morning mark Wiens and we're [ __ ] bullying we're not bullying them dude I mean it's just it's it's in honor of them yeah it's true it is you [ __ ] watch mark we know seriously I'm just making myself feel better that's all no dude no chill dude we're laughing with them if we had mark Wiens here on the podcast I'm sure he'd be so nice and we would just be like yeah like do it man do it just do a say it just say it just say pull oh it is marketing he's like what it's just my name I don't know what it's just my talking voice yeah now you know what though to just to put you know I don't know just put this out there so I watch the [ __ ] out of food vloggers for a minute and I hate all of them now I used to find entertainment out of all of them but not hate them mark Wiens is the only one I can tolerate because he's the only one like when he goes to a place he like tries to like engage those people and his thing is like learning the language talking to them and interviewing them kind of but like it's a it's a non-intrusive thing he's like hey you know it feels very like you want to be on camera every other [ __ ] food wine so just be out like a stand in Mexico and they're just like yeah I'm eating carnitas burritos today and I'm just and the person is in the background like really dog just right in front of my stand you're gonna block the whole line didn't even ask permission and yeah they're just staring at the camera like what the [ __ ] are you doing I'm cooking shirtless knock it off I didn't ask to be here so this is my job this is an entertainment that's one thing I couldn't do in Europe I like wanted to film stuff but I just could not do the bust out the Gorillapod just the talking to camera thing it was it felt like such an American oh yeah that's they'll bail just yeah people will just I felt like I was gonna get pickpocketed not even cuz I had anything like just in the light of you yeah yeah what's up guys I'm here next to the Anne Frank museum in amsterdam guys feel actually really sad right now if I'm gonna be completely honest some have this overwhelming feel sorrow right now and I just thought you guys should see this cuz it's really really powerful and deeps like shut the [ __ ] up mega disrespect it's like yelling these people they're like you bro is it the museum like could someone pick pockets batteries so my mind is going and just punching the camera out of it into the river yeah gonna do it man it was yeah yeah God and I saw some people doing it like I saw him walking around the gorilla pods and I'm just like American oh man yeah when I see gorilla pod it's like the before the what is up yeah like is a looming hey what's up dude what is that how are you dude yesterday as I was at the gym and these this guy was like taking just a classic gym picture of these two girls this [ __ ] yeah those girls do it too because the girls are bodybuilders no they are they do this [ __ ] so it's a guy this Jack guy taking a picture of these two girls like next to the [ __ ] Chinna or I'm trying to use it like taking them like this isn't it so with this move and and the guy goes so I like I they take the picture and then I do my set and as I'm leaving the guy goes what was that what was a tripod you said you got a like a funky little tripod you said you got something like a physical bendy what was the name of it she's like gorilla gorilla pod that's it yeah I might get one of those like yeah you should and I was like oh oh what's that's not appealing worse than someone using a gorilla pod as someone thinking about getting one and not like just not even aware of how shitty they are first of all it's not a debatable purchase it's like 20 bucks you just buy it okay the only the only thing you should say after being like what's the bendy pod I forgot the name I was gonna buy one that's it yeah not I'm thinking about it's not car mortgage just buy it one two yeah they suck ass I'm in the market for a bendy kind of dildo looking tripod you know the gorilla pods right there it's 2299 okay okay boy well that's mean that's half my membership I was saying but I can't believe how cheap Gold's is oh how much is it it's like 45 bucks a month or something I don't pay that [ __ ] that you pay less yeah what yeah what do you pay that leaf it's like 30 bucks that's [ __ ] crazy I think if you just sign up for one gym it's 20 bucks a month like a single gym coz like you get actually yeah I was thinking like I was gonna upgrade my Dropbox or some [ __ ] and it was it's 10 bucks a month for a terabyte yeah which is crazy and I'm like dude that's like a fourth of it's like I can get a terabyte of space or I can like better my entire you know what what do you mean better the entire life like go to the gym go to the gym yeah I'm saying like it's a it's like a weird just there's no there's really no comparison it's completely different yeah a different thing but it's I guess a little bit of go to the gems of funny perspective weed Jim yeah one terabyte of porn in a cloud yeah or or two blunts or better here's to Bloods and that's the same gun yeah yeah two blunts mm-hmm or terabyte of porn or five cups of coffee or Spock and I were talking about this post weights I mean post mates chick chick fly chick fillet yeah that's usually around 40 bucks yeah it makes me feel so shitty every time I do that I'm like I just [ __ ] spent 50 bucks on chick-fil-a and they just walk up and Who am I Yeah right that I hate that you're like oh yeah I'll get this delivered 19 dollars worth of fees you're like mmm doesn't feel right and I do it every time though as you're buying I'm doing the face ID oh this is some [ __ ] they can do you make the still face good even when you do the face ID yeah do the rest in gamer face yeah pink you go back to stream to which there's no deny well to which you were just about to say something about with Spock there's that I gotta back it up even more decade for the bendy pod okay okay Gorillapod suck [ __ ] they're not good yeah and now mines also broken yeah they like lose like stiffness yeah something about a dick Jeff like after like three months they're worthless pieces of garbage oh no this is what I wanted to say actually the [ __ ] someone's got a comp together like two vloggers fighting with gorilla pods and instead of like the lightsaber noise it's like the before the what's up YouTube you know and they're like doing the thing what is upper you guys Spock and I were talking [ __ ] about people who measure things and like other products I hate people measure things that's the [ __ ] worse I'm saying how much is it 2 gallons yeah [ __ ] off god I hate people just trying to measuring things just how tall was he gee I don't know I don't know what do I look like a scientist I don't measure [ __ ] I don't know I imagine a guy at a party with a tape measure huge let me get you up on the wall here and pencil and my god fetish for measuring things oh my god that's a wonderful cup let me see that it's the wall of the party and marking marking their height on the wall oh my god oh my god stay right there you have grown oh boy you have grown I'm 29 hey you remember I did this to to you two years ago here's the mark right there when did you do that to me well you were you were talking to someone else and I just took it upon myself to give you a little little notch that's from me to you keep tracking about it did you know me I'm the measuring guy measuring Corey Wayne's face on the wall I love to keep data on all my friends anyway it's Bach no we're just talking [ __ ] about people who measure things and products like oh that's that's 8 cups of coffee it's like you could feasibly do any like yeah it's such a non opinion yeah we're like nonpoint like the biggest one is the the app well you know when apps were huge it's like 2012 and people are like you really you pay for you can't pay $1 for an app that's like what you're gonna go to Starbucks here buy a coffee for five bucks $5 zero and you won't pay $1 for a team of hard-working people that go to this from scratch I mean at least that was use a lot in tech yeah no 10 and the answer to that is no I will buy coffee because I get more out of coffee than hentai dating simulator v1 ask [ __ ] I'll buy coffee and then go out sex with my real wife yeah you dumb idiot I'm like what you're not gonna pay for my app that puts swear words on pictures automatically come on like you're good way Oh coke you're gonna go to Starbucks and you're gonna get a five-dollar [ __ ] venti mocha [ __ ] peppermint Frappuccino they get to the caffeine you need to get through the day at work diabetes at the same time and it could have swear words on photos five times over for that price you know what I want to know is how many people in Amsterdam with diabetes I said in the last episode but goddamn why just like they eat [ __ ] dessert for breakfast I know and it's like the the fries yeah the fries get fries in a cone there's [ __ ] on top those those for like every meal those are not okay first of all those are not fries it's literally for potatoes just cut into fours yeah like if they're like thick steak fries it's - I love this they were good there Bob they're awesome every time we were even just slightly under the influence of alcohol it's like you guys want to get fries he's like [ __ ] you a surprise we just had fries I was I was an appetizer now here's the main yeah fries I was going I was dying like I felt like I got no nutrition there because it was just pancakes and chocolate for breakfast yeah fries for lunch and weed for dinner and then repeat they just they just smoked cigarettes there we talked about this outside of it yeah apparently it's like a it's a you know who's a tourist because they smoke straight weed I guess locals do spliffs mm-hmm so somebody was telling me huh like they put weed in the tobacco yeah that's the I don't know your look you ever do that ice work that I had to do that makes me [ __ ] feel gross just like smoking Joe yeah I don't yeah yeah don't [ __ ] with it yeah [ __ ] with spliff anyway streaming yeah what about it I'm streamed last night yeah we did we had a rule my stream battle I bought it I so yeah here let's talk about my new PC let's talk about that [ __ ] so I finally I know I said on the podcast that I didn't want to build a PC because it was too much effort and then I'm doing more well actually I didn't even I owe it to you and Steve I fully because you guys Seva you I think asks we he has his friend who knows a lot about pcs and smart guy network tech yeah so he knows the [ __ ] ton about this stuff and I think he mentioned de siiva that I wanted to build a PC or needed a PC or something so see me just like sent me the parts list and then we talk about a little bit replaced a couple things and I was like all right [ __ ] I just pulled the trigger and bought all of it because I was like I can't stop just waiting and he's gonna do the research so that's great yeah I bought all the parts they all arrived and I'm like okay now was it looking at like a nine cardboard boxes and they're like dude boxes for gaming parts of the funniest [ __ ] every are so funny it's like a chip this big and the box is this big and it's got like weird animated like monster eyes on it and it's like our gamer 40 X 97 rpms 60 it looks like it's sponsored by like Oh Energy Drink yeah or you're looking at it you're like did I buy pre-workout yeah this is this is [ __ ] up why does this look this way do I just eat this whole motherboard and I have a permanent pre-workout like what do I do yeah then it comes with pre-workout as where it is it's always beasts yeah like that's all it's always on the cupboards yeah it's something really really like evil you're lat damn yeah this is dope yeah this wool this is gonna be fast and a rip I can help the bigger the claws the faster the processor like oh [ __ ] this motherboard right here though it's just got six arms what do you think of it like it's like the boxes are so like like that same sort of thing like intimidating [ __ ] yeah intense it's like a dirt bike company's design through these things and then we're playing fortnight we just like animated like candy is it like as Sims but more violent like people dress up like like Harley Quinn and they go out and yeah or yeah with a big like faux ghost or like a what are you a lollipop is your thing just beating [ __ ] there's no blood yeah there's no blood yeah and you can't die yeah knock down yeah and then you get put out this is actually a me and Felix from chapo we're talking about that how games now are like super candy looking oh yeah but computer games back in the day like doom like Duke Nukem Wolfenstein heretic like those games were dark it's [ __ ] and they were probably like we thought it's probably like a programming thing like they can't include too many assets or like there's a limitation on the on the technology so like they can't write a game that's like super colorful and actually no it's not true because kids games are super colorful yep then I mean I think it's just the game those games are around now yeah like people still make scary violent games but it's like the ones that are popular epic I think is focused more on games like that everyone are their eyes down to play like everyone plays for night yeah you know and so I feel like that's what I mean though those are the like [ __ ] it's like it's like that it's like the FPS version of candy crush yeah yes yeah like that's exactly what it is Call of Duty is for just for dudes yeah a war or pub G or ever though yeah pub G is like that was just straight war yeah I watched pub G streams and it's always just silent it's like okay five klicks west all right just hold okay we're gonna wait two hours before we delude him make sure it's clear it's always so serious yeah so I'm having fun streaming though yeah so here yeah anyway finish what you're saying so then you got finally got back yeah he came over we dude so the whole reason I didn't want to build a PC because I knew we'd run into some trivial [ __ ] that I didn't want to [ __ ] deal with Excel way too much time so Noel comes over he comes over with his machine cuz he needs to put a part in there he takes apart his whole machine starts starts putting this [ __ ] and realizes he doesn't have like a bracket that he is after [ __ ] an hour and a half yeah yeah like disassembling the Aran 1c doesn't like his [ __ ] bracket yeah well and for all our G boys listening basically back of the motherboard I forgot like the socket was different on my new chip so I forgot my heatsink needed that bracket so I like I completely like I wipe my processor like clean it with rubbing alcohol I have like the [ __ ] I have the goddamn liquid not the cod whatever the adhesive to put the heatsink back on it's like all laid out and then I'm like god damnit so I have to like pack it all up my ice like on my old ship I [ __ ] launched it in your chair like I did something because the bracket was off and I like launched it so I think that chip might be hosed I don't know anyway so yeah okay I pack all my should ever start building Kodi [ __ ] then like a dumbass I don't put these risers on the case so the motherboard sitting too low and no but this is after this is after solid two and a half hours of killing this [ __ ] the motherboard is the first piece you put in yeah so you he we put that in we put a whole bunch of [ __ ] on top we're like building this it's like getting close to the end we're putting in the graphics card which like this is the last thing and it doesn't go all the way in and we're like he's like [ __ ] I forgot to put risers on motherboard I was like you dumbass this is why I didn't want to [ __ ] do this I knew it I knew it what that being said it always makes it like more rewarding when you finally get it together oh yeah you know well so then we the next day we we pull it out it was pretty easy just you know pulled it out put on the risers in and drop it back in and everything fit cool we start it up and then Cody's trying to figure out he's like land drivers and you got the wrong ones he was like my buddies he was like remoting into his box or like they're like they're like troubleshooting this over telegram and you see this like 200 message thread and they're like three o'clock you're like hell yeah it's working and I left it like twelve it's so funny to see I do I send up remote access which means someone else can use you like ah like basically take control of your computer like from afar yeah and so I set that up because no I was like set up remote access see we'll go in and just fix everything and like be going so I'm like cool I got the land drivers which means that could connect to the internet so I could set this up I set it up and I just sat back and watched this dude just absolutely like just owned my computer for like dude it was like two and a half minutes I've never seen someone moved so fast you down like 50 things I have no idea what the [ __ ] he did he definitely put a keylogger in there when I'm pouring out for like for like 20 seconds during that whole thing he said like as he was working he opened a browser it says a P o R and shifting like Edward Leonard dude so in Italy I actually it was taking like four hours to upload a video and I had like some I rendered the fortnight video we did the audio was [ __ ] up whatever I reload it and I ask him like hey can you push it live I go back to my computer in the morning there's just five gay Power Rangers on my screen and it says GG bro and this is powered like five naked dude Power Rangers not naked but they're in like speedos with the helmets like we're Sherdog thank you because he also did the same [ __ ] yesterday when we were streaming oh he remoted it dude the problem with like I I wish that twitch had like a test they do they where you can like tests they have like a test page where you can set your butt like on your stream key if you put like t underscore test or something or it goes to the test servers and there's like a website where you can test your things you can actually see the stream it just shows you like how many frames are dropping and [ __ ] so you can't tell if the audio and [ __ ] is working right the only way you can do that is by going live it just like having people tell you hey this is why so like I did that yesterday and people who can't hear the game audio and this is [ __ ] up and this is [ __ ] up and I'm like stressing because there's like 600 people watching and I'm like I can't [ __ ] focus people are like telling me to start like dude get in my party getting my party on fortnight and I'm like they can't even hear the audio it's not working and so Stephen was fine like let me remote in so while I was life he [ __ ] took control of my computer it's like to this guy he pulls on my social security number like it just docs is you right there exactly my address [ __ ] you oh well okay awesome yeah that's clipped it's just funny to think of someone watching my stream fixing my stream yeah wherever he is that's funny but we finally got a working we streams no streams like to do time [ __ ] flies doing that [ __ ] it's crazy it's fun though it was great yeah I had a good time yeah I had a good ass time oh wait so we were uh for I mean just probably no more girls listening cuz they're like I'm not was in the [ __ ] computer talk yeah washing when Kelsey walked in and she was like oh this is kind of cool like she watched us working that computer for 10 seconds yeah I was like yeah that's that's about that that was like Elena's actually the first time builds computers like oh I know how to do this why does it take so long and now she's seen you do it yeah and every time you start taking the panel off is like damn it there's gonna be [ __ ] screws and pieces laying all over the place that's the other thing about building computers [ __ ] it's messy yeah it's not clean cuz you have all these big [ __ ] boxes we're gonna put that [ __ ] I know then you open them they just explode with a million tiny screws yep and then you're sweating and so you know you can sweat everywhere and you know you're eating yogurt too and you spilled and that's all over the messy gets weird it gets super weird then you get a sloppy joe and you're just rubbing it exactly yeah cards just there's something about building a PC that really makes me want to sloppy joe yeah you know I just I start building and I'm like let's destroy my body yeah let's start now yeah yeah yeah like exterior as well it's rubbing sloppy joe and it's just meat everywhere and and but that's what building a PC is you know just just sweaty meat messy yeah messy it is it is a pain in the ass and I know it is it absolutely there's like office is still destroyed there's one person is living this like if you had a dedicated workbench it's not that messy and I'm like sorry dude we don't have our dad's garage yes for building computers let me go in my garage that's packed with four cars parked tandem and set up a workbench in there I [ __ ] when I worked at Best Buy I remember this dude bragging to me about his new workbench and how he could he has tons of space to build computers work on his computer and work on airsoft guns I remember being like yo bread shouldn't you have like moved out like four years ago I was judging the [ __ ] out of him I'm like Dawg it's time to grow up it's fight it it's kind of funny to think of someone like working on a computer like just perpetually like we know he just loves working on the computer but later doesn't love using it to like make money or something just perpetually why do you work like why would you like working on computers if you never like get to use it he's as always it's upgrading it but he never actually like uses it for anything it's like John McAfee I was talking about cutting his dick off what Bitcoin doesn't hit a certain number I feel like he just keeps raising it or like finding reasons to like want to cut his dick off yeah if you don't land that kickflip I'm gonna cut it off I don't even skate give it a shot oh you better just better pray that happens then doesn't look like you're gonna land it I kinda stopped praying right now he's like building the computer he just it's finished it's ready to go dope as [ __ ] he's just staring at it liquid cooler look a lot better with liquid cooler and if for sure it sabotages it on purpose oh no guess I have to start over just like you standing there looking at it just [ __ ] falls down nowhere leans on it falls over case shatters oh dear Oh No looks like I'm gonna have to invest in some new parts oh what a shame just punches the [ __ ] out of it he's just strong as puts his fist through the back of the [ __ ] dude know that he's standing in front of it like just admiring his work and he just like picks up a sloppy joe and just leans over it and eats a bite and just meat spills off into the case [ __ ] fried something we shorts out sparks up oh dear oh I'm so messy just some creepy just takes a little bit of sloppy joe at the case I am so that's what they call me messy Joe alright let's open you back up as this cousin that's so gross my name is messy Joe I feel like it's calls himself sloppy joe he's just at the Geek Squad working on computers yeah I don't give that one this sloppy joe don't give them a sloppy joe can only do software why he gets near the hardware he just spills [ __ ] all over it and just it's really sexual with it it's weird probing his face was sucking on a stick of RAM Oh God Oh [ __ ] lollipop oh there's some meat on there like a [ __ ] chicken wing oh man oh hell if someone comes up to the Geek Squad window it's empty like hello he just like comes out of the darkness it was data he's like chewing on like Ram but like like it's like he's like long like [ __ ] like that [ __ ] like like we'd like farmers to on it's just a walk yeah wheat it's just like a long power cable heard y'all looking for a computer fixer what can I do you for let me just clean up it's always like the worst character in like space films well they try to like repurpose the cowboy is like a like a cowboy and like the technical age mm-hmm I was given a hat and a revolver with a computer chip on it it's always just I don't know it's always so no idea what you're talking about it's it like the [ __ ] like just look like what han Solo is to me okay it was like trying to make him like this [ __ ] like I live in technology mm-hmm but I don't like technology well its 3050 so you got a [ __ ] deal with it I don't know what's world [ __ ] yeah basically yeah I don't know it's goofy anyway like I'm like oh I was like one of those like 15 thought space cowboys space cowboy you know what characters I [ __ ] hate dude space cowboys cowboy I really do though yeah you're such a dumb like it's like a all ok space stay with me Cowboys in space old people holy things back in there then yeah but in the now bow or did and we could give them like like boots computer guns but instead of like Spurs they're like light-up Spurs oh yeah like of energy hell yeah and klitz on their hands because moisture exactly is due destined in other news we found our we found oh wait what is this what this is not what I wanted to link but I linked a tweet in our in our thread here oh yeah I meant to linked a picture of Bazzi and Russ yeah together because I looked at that and I was like this is absolutely has to be our Halloween costume absolutely [ __ ] Russ and Bazzi that means I have to dress up as Russ oh yeah you do yeah that feels bad yep but it's perfect because they're like the like Bazzi is and I know I'm gonna get [ __ ] crucified for this cuz probably every female watching this right now leave you can say his name they're like they're listening to this right now reaching for their cowboy space gun yeah what are you gonna say Cody I'm just saying I like his music a lot you better he says you better you better check your dang tone what are you gonna say Cody I like his music I think he's very very talented and I think he is actually a really charismatic guy he's just he's simply a fuck-boy absolutely he's like the dude he's absolutely what are you doing text at 2:00 a.m. whatever just doing every female in his contact list and every girl's like um and every girl like well I was sleeping but I guess I could do something yeah exactly I mean I get yeah yeah we can chill like what you write a song about me this whole album is about sex and it's like it feels like it the way he talks about it it just feels like he's had sex with like two people it's like really special then it's that special that he just talks about it like he thinks someone that's that's young and attractive and very popular she should talk about say like he's he like one of the lines and his songs is the way that Gucci look on you amazing but something something something when you're naked or something like that mm-hmm like in the first time I heard that I was like that is the corniest lyric I have ever heard the way that Gucci looks on you amazing yeah yeah I mean I haven't listened to mine I haven't listened to it [ __ ] really okay yeah I mean it was good again good voice great like production and stuff like that and they the tunes are catchy but it's just the lyrics sort of look a little bit there's one in song the whole thing is about how his best friend how about this Alice girl [ __ ] his best friend and it's super literal like very literal it's like tells the story of it this is really uncomfortable for me to listen to like at least throw a couple metaphors in so I'm kind of like you know what happened here right who is it abstract it but he's like you turned my best friend into an enemy that's like one of the lyrics it's like yeah this is just sad that's like that's like a bit you know I'm saying like that's like it's like oh wouldn't it be funny to like write a song that sounds like this but ends up being like very and he's I was just imagining him writing that and like reading it in the studio and it's like dumb uncomfortable he gets like the second verse yes then I'll sing for this first okay ready I keyed your car I slashed your tires you won't be driving very far you make him hard I saw the pictures I took them staring from the window what do you think about that in engine bars yeah engineers like it's like you might want to like maybe extract try to make this what about instead of the the picture thing maybe we just we just cut that part out like no cuz that that let hooks into the next part my name is Cory Wayne [Laughter] Baz ease Cory Wayne bad I can't wait for Baz ease Cory Wayne remake you know it's thinking like Oh first of all for the patreon people yeah we're gonna we're gonna give you the instrument yeah we're gonna put the instrumental up and then if you want to do a remix you can but I think it would be really funny because the name right like Tory Lanez yeah perfect you could do a remix we like my name is Tory Lanez money before Elias I'm bald as [ __ ] or some [ __ ] like that I'm short as [ __ ] yeah or was another one I thought of Tory Lane it works for a lot of [ __ ] Lane yeah my name is Lowell Wayne my name is t-pain you're like the T and T pain stands for the oh the pain no no I'm no [ __ ] around no that's definitely that's not true about it's funny though the this is this how you know Cody's gonna tell a joke T&T pain sins for the the pain of pain Wow yeah how about that oh you know the Rebecca Black's the other Friday Friday Friday Friday she's at 38 trillion views there's no explaining there's no explaining then anyway top of the hour do your kids have aids in their cereal find out more in 30 minutes oh yeah what else happened while I was gone I feel like a lot happen while I was gone trippy red and six nine just going at it yeah that [ __ ] is so lame I couldn't even bring myself to what what happened I don't even know I don't even pay attention because I'm just like it's just I don't like I don't know man it's just annoying someone who's a [ __ ] talking about nothing should be hooked up with bad baby or something that's as far as I got I just saw I just saw the video six nine going like is a tease right trippy red [ __ ] bad baby okay I didn't say it is right and then he like ends it I'm like I know to like film yourself saying I didn't say this and put it out to millions of people yeah and then yeah I didn't say this and it's say yeah like so obviously trans dart [ __ ] anything his next song is gonna be about I don't know how fat he's getting no I think it's gonna do a hard pivot now he's doing like reggaeton [ __ ] yes yet yeah which is fire I love reggaeton okay so it's like and not because it's him just because like I love reggaeton yeah like in one states do it I said oh no I know the concert doing l-man I can't see it I can see all the little taste-off yeah the brother and yeah ricey kid or whatever his name wait what see she has like a brother named R I see kid apparently and he like was just like some kid on YouTube super young and I guess he really wanted to blow up and like so that's why he kind of coached her on how to be I don't know kids smart he's smart enough to figure out that like how old is he young I think like maybe 16 max really yeah he's the one coaching or through that oh yeah yeah I mean like he gets it like he knows what it takes mmm right see kid I wanna look at that ry CIE kid and that like he had a bunch of videos on his youtube but then he deleted them all and the only one that's there it says it's like a 20-second clip black screen with text it's like I did nothing wrong they're lying what is his name Ric I eat on ry ry c ie kid rice e kid something like that lillte while kody just evaporates into his phone yeah sorry come one with his phone this this episode is brought to you by us it's here and now us I don't know this is just fruitless yes I mean it's just like her brother is the one who kind of pushed it along so it was not Simon Cowell what a letdown yeah but maybe he's Simon Cowell's assistant or something there it goes yeah it's like a front the saga continues Simon Cowell no he can't attach his name something like that so yes I think now is a good time cuz I wanted to harp on little Tay only for one bit which you know but I'll just tell you guys know you gotta edit that I mean I will or someone else can make it um basically I thought it'd be really funny to comp in little Tay into like like a cut of Dragon Ball Z like she's Goku like doing the Kamehameha but it's the N word such as like Shh oh my god and then like it just goes off and just like decimates like cities and people that's good yeah somebody somebody make that oh just kick the water somebody make that you're buying coffee it's not dammit yeah I'm about to talk for an hour let me drink the hottest I know harshest thing I went to Taco Bell and I heard something to talk about I'm back on my Jim [ __ ] oh I went to talk about today and I didn't even get any food I just got the coffee Wow because I'm because I got [ __ ] got fat man after I Coachella just I've talked about this even wherever the [ __ ] I want yeah and you're getting this like habit of just eating [ __ ] because you gain weight slowly until you don't notice yeah right yeah I mean I do notice it I see it like in my face this this is where I gain weight is in my face I got it like it's like a family thing and my whole family gets it I haven't really noticed it just kind of look the same since I met you that's nice I notice it definition list okay I know I don't have a jawline but I even I have even less of a jawline you know I'm saying it's just like a soft like if going bag you're like so like I'm losing weight yeah it's just no there's no chin there it's just all neck neck he'll come back it'll come back yes so it's like that's what I see it's like when I I'm eating shitty right but it's like cuz you don't you don't like gain weight right away no and then you're like oh I could eat shitty forever yeah my metabolism which must be different now or is it so usually like [ __ ] even though in the back of my mind I'm like I'm I know this is bad with me and then and then so I'm like it's just shitty ice cream all the time so like that and so like two weeks ago I guess now two weeks week and a half some like that two weeks you've been back on it I was while I was live streaming on YouTube yeah and and after the fact we went to the couch and we livestream not Kelsie's account for a second right and so we have like 400 500 people watching our livestream and we're like [ __ ] around eating ice cream mm-hmm and we did it for about an hour we ended the livestream and then we're sitting there and I think just watching the chat yeah the chat stays active after I finish the livestream and I don't think people realize that and like three people were like yo Cody's getting fat and I read that I was like damn it because I could I see that sometimes in my comments and I know it's I know it's true but for some reason like seeing that one like right after just because people didn't think I was watching it hurts Yogi's getting fans like I know I am but like now it's real you get back on live hey hey hey hey hey knock it off yeah yeah start I know I'm getting fat all right it just hurts reading it so why don't you end and by the way I eat broccoli yesterday so yeah suck on that you have [ __ ] kids so I've been back in the gym I've been getting it every day now nice broken and I'm just avoiding shitty food for the most part yeah a little bit ice cream last night going away was actually good for lifting too because I came back and I realized like my routine definitely I think I could add to it so I've been switching it up and like I'm feeling good I'm at a point where I'm not trying to get big I just want to maintain strong okay yeah the bigger arms would work but like what's required for bigger arms is just I don't know if I have that commitment I have to eat a lot hmm I have to shovel food yeah more of those smoothies yeah like 20 of those steaks chicken all that [ __ ] and just to gain what a couple inches no it's funny cuz I have to eat that [ __ ] to lose weight it's just real hard needing to eat you know no limitation oh my god whatever you want tough dude sucks ass yeah there's avoiding the temptation of not eating oh man food gross I was thinking about that this morning I ate like a like five eggs and like some [ __ ] oatmeal and I like got to like pretty close to the end of the eggs and like this is gross I'm gonna jump this and then I'm like this is Cody this is difference with me and Cody right here I was imagining like in my mind what it's like to be you when you just see food taste nothing kid gets processed yeah it's like all that needs to go to zero it needs to disappear that's what it is it's gonna go in here oh the taste gets processed but even if it's bad it's still yeah still good eating fermented fish out of a can oh this is oh god some sardines suck ass don't should really do away with this this shouldn't be out here in the public eye I need to take care of this ya know basically so what are you doing today I'm gonna finish okay so I got a I got two videos you know I meant you're working we never ask each other what we're doing we don't actually on the podcast yeah what do you what are you doing FEMA do shoulders yeah I'm not gonna do shoulders and I actually have two yeah then I'm gonna go rip some shoulders do you run at the end your workout um I do Stairmaster now which is like okay it's just like high in calorie it's very efficient in burner not efficient whatever burns more calories so so I burn less no no because that would be efficient if it burns low it's not efficient so you're not efficient okay it's harder to do like you burn more calories in a shorter amount of time doing Stairmaster it's more intense good I think running to me now I've run for so long it's like boring I mean it's not boring I I enjoy it but it's just like not as hard sure like I can crank Stairmaster for 10 minutes and get like a serious good workout so I do 10 minutes before and then 15 10 15 minutes after and I lift for like 3040 minutes and in between okay that's right I'm gonna start adding yeah cardio at the end of my [ __ ] yeah I got some stubborn ass and that's kind of [ __ ] that's not gonna help you gain weight no it's not well I don't know what to do because I just got like this just the engineer gut just do high-intensity stuff okay all right and avoid carbs and I think that's pretty much yeah it's true anyway you're gonna finish two videos today Wow yeah so I this new bike yeah so basically I filmed this video I did the the kids content one then what about like Collins that [ __ ] so bad and cuz there's another guy Papa Jake he makes box for it videos you ever seen this no dude this [ __ ] is so funny man it's so funny so like he'll post a video every couple days of him making a box for it in his living room is he younger than 10 then no he's 20 he's like our age he's 25 or something like that right and so it is hilarious like juxtaposition because he'll make these videos that are for four-year-olds yeah right that the door is open what was that it just was weird oh hello we got a haunted house live on the pot yes give us one sake I'll keep I'll keep explaining what the deal is so basically he'll make like he'll do these videos and he's like 24 25 did it open I got a little bit scared there you started screaming no getting killed on the podcast right now so [ __ ] no one was due to the cleaver just watching here I've watched 2,000 miles they don't call me sloppy joe no reason takes us back to his house turns us into computers anyway so he builds a box for it yeah so he's like 23 24 and it's funny cuz he does these videos basically he was just doing normal videos like gaming stuff and and challenge videos hotknife stuff like just trying to capitalize on trends yeah and then he did one of these box 4 videos and it blew the [ __ ] up presumably from five-year-olds watching it because it's really that's what that's what this content is aimed at no one over the age of five watches someone make a cardboard box for it like that's some [ __ ] you do when you're like a very very young child right yeah so now he does this is what he does he's like he's like this is what is gonna get me to the bag so I'm just gonna keep doing this and so he no I'm saying I came in the video I'm like I'm not gonna knock the dudes hustle whatever it's weird that he named himself Papa Jake and he does kid videos like thing is that he killed so he that my point in the video is that it's it's funny how clear it is that it's just about the money not about entertaining children sure because like you know in art I feel like when I was that age like the cartoons and stuff that we used to watch like even as an adult you could there was a joke slipped in there for a doll right right and like you could watch like Spongebob and should you could appreciate that like that's it you know a lot of work goes into that yeah these guys are just like like creating fake premises like the one that I'm that I was like ripping on was a was at one of the zombie apocalypse he's just like his friend dressed up like a zombie and they like create this whole like weird fictional thing where they have to get from one box for it to another and they kill a zombie this is all happening in this dude's living room they're filming it with one shitty camera with a fisheye lens on it the production value is probably $40 I would say the whole thing they're getting three five million views and if you go to his Instagram he's in a Lambo he just bought a [ __ ] i8 like wow he's like and he does a video about the i8 yeah and he puts a cardboard box like he makes it like a cardboard box for video but he just really it's just he wants to show off his car yeah and the kids just don't give a [ __ ] about the car at all it's so funny it's so [ __ ] funny so that's the whole thing is that like these these people don't actually give a [ __ ] about kids they're just imagining this dude like meeting a girl or something like you you know cuz you don't buy a car like that to just be humble yeah well you don't buy a [ __ ] Batmobile just to be like oh this oh I mean I don't know I feel like you can buy a car and not show it off that's what I'm saying though it was like the fact he's putting it on Instagram and [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah it's like he didn't buy that to just to be like no not at all no they filmed him going to the dealership there there's whole deal there you go so like what I'm saying is but also I'm thinking about that from the perspective of like Lambo like dealerships like that's how they know who's never had [ __ ] yeah oh here we go another loser we'll see he'll have to turn it in here what's up buddy yeah what's up dude I'm here to buy a Lambo oh yeah I'm sure you are a big boy got some money didn't you okay all right is your dad here to co-sign yes or just out of curiosity what did would you do oh I make a youtube channel I make videos cool man what kind of videos they're more like crafts sort of like creative type like fictional stuff sure yes what do you what do you mean I would eat what kind of craft is that um okay how can I suppose it's like um we basically like we make [ __ ] out of cardboard oh like oh like a Rube Goldberg machine or like a like VR cosplay something like that you do cosplay yeah sort of okay are you sure you can buy this car oh yeah dude I got I'm cashing in on this stuff that's gonna be a sad day when box for guy 2 to 8 has to go to turn in his Lamborghini oh that's what it was yeah a door next door boy next door our boy yeah he's giving us the cue yeah oh [ __ ] we in the club no again smooth but yeah it's just a funny it's a funny world man cuz because and they do the crazy [ __ ] to get their video like recommended by YouTube yeah like they they will just write this giant paragraph in the description that is just it's not even it's crazy if you read Colin's key ones yeah it's like the first thing in the description is this long-ass paragraph is about this long and it's just it doesn't even make sense they like it's like a half sentence yeah like today Colin's key and whatever who our brothers you know make a DIY edible candy do-it-yourself lollipop fortnight Frank Frank challenge look he just goes on and on and on and it's like sort it's like why not just list all the terms and what tags instead of sort of make it a sentence like an SEO maybe that's like better [ __ ] weird it's so weird that it like that's a weird I like concept to me when like you're making you're creating stuff based on an algorithm like you get what I'm saying like yeah like like how a man like if it got to the point where like it was like actually reading the actual media and like looking for [ __ ] going on in the video like that would be fine we heard if laya videos just became like this nonsense like like how do you kind of follow what I'm saying like no like I'm imagining like a guy like Collins key making a video and it like starts maybe with a point and then it just devolves into like what the [ __ ] am i watching like that's what it is it goes back to like whatever he was talking about two minutes ago yeah I know that's kind of what it is if you watch it it's like right these are the say weird things they'll scream at random times and it's like they'd like they say the buzz words alive like you challenged us to make edible DIY yourself dude Do It Yourself candy gummy worms and today we're gonna do it head [ __ ] explodes today you challenged us to make a DIY sticky Joe PC extraordinaire sloppy man Jimbo like kids are and people at her watching his keep me [ __ ] read you like what's the point he brings a girl over what if he appears super normal the dope car the dope house and he's got this mini studio it's a little messy in that studio she kind of sees like paint and chocolate oh yeah it's like that's coming he's like you want to want to see me work it's not weird like not just have a record is it fresh what quarter QT love you get over there slice right over there press record a little fixing you and action what [ __ ] this she's like um yeah I'm gonna I got up this text from my friend and my mom's sick and I gotta go wait hold on hold on you haven't seen the best part yet we're just getting started yeah just hit the switch door locks eating a can of toothpaste just eating flowers and like just what is happening Smuckers chapstick all the all the things little kids eat just tell them it's okay to eat it mommy's shaking oh that was a bad gesture to do well we're gonna take that the the a shake salt into your mouth no it's good I'm good but not a good dude to do that on camera oh I'm gonna take that uh wait I don't get it does it need more tongue damn I edit my [ __ ] like and one thing another thing I said I basically just ruined the entire video but like one thing I said was that like it must be the most intense [ __ ] ever filming that yeah like what do they do after to think about that just shut the camera off and they just not neither of them say a word like it's a good mixture of shame and exhaustion it's just like they kind of look at each other alright till next time and they go to their separate like rooms one of them just walks around a Japanese garden and like the other ones just like doing yoga in his room just trying to like Rhys like find who he is you know must be the same feeling after you leave like a like a swingers club or something yeah yeah orgy one time in your life yeah yeah it's like you know it's like you jerk off to some weird porn and then you're like I gotta go for a run yeah I forget about forget about the weather [ __ ] this was I don't I didn't think I could look at cartoons that way and I have this weird feeling that I kind of want to do it again so I'm going to do it again in denim yeah it's weird so that's my video tomorrow and then I I got some new merch as well so I'm doing a little promo I'm gonna do like a little promo video see ya thank you guys Mitch miss the well we can talk about it candidly yeah on the podcast here but if you cuz it's gonna be like a joke video tomorrow but if you guys missed the the old merch shirt I have a picture of it on this shirt so um yeah I'm uh we'll see how my video turns out for tomorrow what's yours what are you doing today what am i doing today yeah what are you doing today I'm gonna I'm gonna edit edit I saw I read like 10 or 12 like stone tweets that I did in Amsterdam oh yeah right and and tweet any of them so I basically I go and search through Twitter to see if anyone's had similar ideas okay and there were there were some tweets that are just not even there the the collins key of my tweets okay very lucky like yeah oh there's a lot of weed in the system and even [ __ ] wrote this [ __ ] so do that and then I got I got a little something I'm right I think we should react to oh yeah yeah dope for my channel we'll see well so yeah I got our next I think I got our next great crash I think yeah I'm ready I got it and ready for some coin wash well what do we have man is dinging on oh yeah update the people on Suki oh yeah yeah yeah so and asking yeah I mean I've posted a couple things like on a vlog and this and that I've said I don't twitch a bunch but yeah tour just like slowed me down like I'm doing all the work I'm editing it doing sound for now mainly because money and I don't know it's like my first one and I want to make sure it's right but I don't I can't let it go forever so I've been talking with my boy Thor he's a colorist I think he's gonna color it for me so mean up with him in the next week or so but yeah like I'm still shooting for like this summer and the thing I've found out is like festivals you can submit anytime okay so it's like I'm not hosed in that capacity so yeah it's kind of where I'm at I'm definitely shooting for the summer though the one thing that I also need to kick off is a license for that song that we showed it oh yeah the live shows yeah that one might be a really I might have to reach all the way up into my stomach for some money yeah damn because I the guides dead so he I think it's owned by his estate and that's either a lawyer or some distant I'm hoping it's just like he's just got like a random nephew sitting somewhere yes who has it he's like give me 500 bucks to use a song yeah yeah sure wait I'll listen to your podcast oh yeah he's like oh dude you're this tiny me guys nah man he's got a wack wack acted it's not real rap it's not like logic so hey should we end the episode playing like logic or like Machine Gun Kelly it's not energy cated should we end the episode by playing the song again I'm not trying to end the episode I'm just saying should we do that no why not okay we can't wait before we go I want to shout out one thing I'm gonna do this earlier for the UH so when we were streaming we were commenting on all the fort night locations being like they're just like funny you know like so you know Pleasant Park or whatever so we were joking on stream like penis palladium and [ __ ] pasture and you know wet wet River and stuff like that and someone said I just watched your twitch stream and I don't know how and no one came up with here we go sugar gay shrine I like that one sugar - right yeah it's a good on yeah so all right you wanted a shout-out no that's the only word EMI got yeah we had a bunch there were so many I can if I wait wait before we in this episode I have something important I want to say sugar JJ's right thank you very much that's the episode it feels good to be back feels good to be back on the mics it does a little while it's been a long-ass time first time [ __ ] to three weeks three weeks we've been on this [ __ ] so keep a lookout for both of our videos tomorrow that we're not or it actually would be today if it's Friday if you're listening on Thursday yeah but this goes on the Thursday night yeah that's tomorrow but and we hope you enjoy the song if you want to rap over it we're gonna put the instrumental on patreon yeah and the this version will be up on soundcloud so go play that [ __ ] up senator interested to see if anyone that doesn't listen to the podcast will actually listen to this song because it's kind of catchy but it's like before okay this is actually kind of crazy and we can this is the last thing I'll say someone sent me a screenshot of a text message conversation okay and it was like a mutual friend of theirs was listening to I think it was deadbeat okay and they go oh you like Cody and Noelle he goes who is like a tiny me gang like they're youtubers like they're comedians and he goes oh they just came up on my Explorer like I just I just added this like I don't like he just liked of the song like I just yeah yeah like it was like a new music Friday recommendation or something yeah that's right dude are our [ __ ] Spotify we got somebody's Gophers well monthly listeners like going up again for some reason super Sam's at six a nine hundred and sixty nine thousand plays okay it's gonna hit a million in like a month deadbeats almost at half a million shits crazy we got some we got some dinners in the can bro yeah like some beats you've made and just yeah yeah we got some got some [ __ ] based in yeah I've been I've been making a ton of beats is that the new one instead of marinating yeah basting basting yeah but that's more of like basting is more yeah I mean what are we in that in that snare of the turkey yeah and we're getting like that music is basting us yeah yeah yeah it's very messy yep see you next week my name is my name is that's my wife I'm her guy she's my life I do what the [ __ ] she says if she the moon I'm the thais but I got this little worried if it's true I might die suicide cuz she got another man on the side who the [ __ ] is that who the [ __ ] is that I'm not [ __ ] playing Carroll who the [ __ ] is that you [ __ ] on those mats thought this was yoga class he all up in yo ass I'm finna kill my ass oh my name is Corey Wayne my name is Corey Wayne these [ __ ] on my brain these [ __ ] on my brain we should I thought mine aim is Corey Wayne my name is Corey Wayne these [ __ ] on my brain these [ __ ] on my brain good [ __ ] piece later

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 294,602

Keywords: satire, comedy

Id: FXO-fAY9gMY

Length: 71min 31sec (4291 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 01 2018