Hi there fellas, I'm Dave from boyinaband and I am an English person. Now to my fellow English people out there, There's nothing worse than getting the wrong sort in your country am I right? That's why we need a solid test. To keep out the chaff, And only bring in the wheat. Am I right? ... Am I right... So today, I'm going to be taking an English citizenship test to prove once and for all that that test *inhale* As with everything the UK government does is spectacularly well thought out. Ooh! What's this article; 'Britain's citizenship test is criticized for "errors," "inconsistencies," and "random trivia"'? Nonsense. Who's this "QUARTZ" anyway? It's not even a reputable ... like... journalist thing- Ooh! What's this? Another random article? From "The Guardian"? "Citizenship guide fails its history exam" "According to irate historians, the new government booklet is leading would-be citizens astray with a confusing array of historical errors, questionable suppositions and glaring misquotes?" Huh! What does "The Guardian" know anyway? They're not a reputable sour- Oh! What's this? "The Official UK Parliament Website?" If we scroll down and see... "Although most of the many factual errors in earlier editions have been removed, there are still some errors." What does the UK Parliament know about the UK Parliament? Anyway! I'm gonna be taking this flawless UK citizenship test to prove once and for all, how... *takes out flag* English Uh how UK I am. People get really annoyed when you mix up Britain, UK and England. England is a country within the UK, The UK a collection of four countries, Great Britain is the name of the main island. All confusion, dealt with. Perfect So, strap in fellas. We're in for a... *puts flag in his majestic hair* ... fun ride. So yeah this website '"Life in the UK Test Web" Has been created to help you pass the Life in the UK Test.' 'Many of the questions here have been asked in the official test.' I couldn't find the official test online. I'm assuming they don't just post them uh wholesale online like that. I'm gonna take this out. This is the website people use to practice for the official UK citizenship test. And it does have many of the questions asked on the test. Without further ado, "British Citizenship Test 1" Here we go fellas. First... super valid question. Oh they have audio questions. "What are two responsibilities that you will have as a British citizen or permanent resident of the UK?" 'Kay. I'm gonna assume that "To stay in the UK forever" Is-Is not... ... a correct answer. "To look after yourself and your family." This is- Surely this something that's a responsibility for any human. At least to look after yourself. If your family's horrible then you shouldn't have to look after them. I'm gonna guess it's these two... Okay. I'm gon- I'm gonna roll with this "Check." *ding* Yes! Hundred percent win right fellas? "Where is Big Ben located?" I like the thought that if someone didn't know this... They shouldn't be allowed in England. Some massive, incredibly influential, rich, kind, philanthropic person comes in and they don't know the trivia about where Big Ben is located Perhaps they've been more focused on their business than on random trivia abou- N o p e ! oUt! Oh god I thought it would just say like- London, Birmingham.. I think it's by The Houses of Parliament. *click* *ding* Yes! *waves flag around* God- Ahhh! No! My flag! D: It's uh- God save our gracious queen? Whoops. "When were men and women given the right to vote at the age of 21?" I wasn't taught this in English school... I think a lot of suffrage and stuff happened after the war... Women were so involved in the war effort. They got a taste f-for what it was like to vote. This is the problem am I right fellas? If you give women a taste of responsibility All of a sudden they think they're a full human being. Ridiculous. Nineteen twenty-three. Full correct answer. Here we go- *Err errrn* Aw for god's sake! I was correct that it was after the war. "Where is the UK geographically located?" The way I remember- uhhh... East and west. Is uh- East is England and West is Wales. If you don't know where Wales is then that won't work. Uh- so North west. *ding* "Who is the patron Saint of Scotland?" "Who is the patron Saint of Scotland?" *laughs* That's such a funny fricken... auto-generated voice. wHy ShOuLd I hAvE tO lEaRn ThAt As A bRiTiSh MaN? wHaT hAs ScOtLaNd GoT tO dO wItH bRiTaIn? I really like Scotland. I've been there a bunch of times. Everyone that I've met from there has been incredibly nice. But I do not know the patron saint. I'm assuming it's not me. Oh Patrick's definitely fricken'... Jacksepticeye land. St George I think is England. St David might be wAlEsSs. ... So St Andrew. Process of elimination. Also, what the hell has this got to do with anything? Anyway. *ding* St Andrew. Correct. Still British. Okay. "Which two houses fought in the War of the Roses?" Is this game of fricken' thrones? ... I don't even know when the War of the Roses was. 'Kay. Let's have a think. What do I know about these places? Chester... ... I played a gig there once. A polish night at the venue and they had polish sausage. That's not very English. *laughs* That's definitely how this works. York? They have a pretty funny accent. Newcastle also has a pretty funny accent. And Lancaster... I honestly can't think of a single fact about. Sorry anyone from Lancaster. Based on funniness of accent... It's these two. *Err errrn* *ding!* Okay... I was half correct. Clearly Lancaster must have an even funnier accent than Newcastle. The hell was this bloody War of the Roses? Maybe that should be the test. If people get something wrong in the test... How do they respond? And if they use the words "Aw bloody hell." That's when they get lef- let in. And it's gotta come across real. Like have you ever heard an American try to say "Bloody Hell"? It's really unusual... It would be like me saying... I'm trying to think of an Americanism now... "Dude did you see that gnarly wave?" See it sounds very unusual. Stick to your lane! "The War of the Roses were a series of English civil wars." "The wars eliminated the male lines of both families." This is proper game of thrones stuff! "The Bill of Rights of 1689 confirmed the right to vote for all adult men." I thought the Bill of Rights was an American thing. "The Bill of Rights of one-thousand six-hundred and eighty-nine-" *Dave bursts out laughing* "One-thousand six-hundred and eighty-nine." I'm gonna guess true. *Er errrn* False. "What is the Cenotaph?" Cenotaph? I need mor-more Englishness to help with this. *puts on hat* Alright fellas. What's the Cenotaph? Cenotaph. Whatever. I'm gonna guess a war memorial. *ding!* Wasn't a guess, it was correct. See, this hat. English is anything. "Who was the captain of the English football team that won the World Cup in 1966?" I can tell you that a bunch of English people would be very adamant that this is an important question. And I can also tell you that they are bloody idiots. *sighs at the stupidity of the creators of this quiz* This is not important. In the context of immigrating to a country, this is valueless This is making me more angry than I thought it would. Ian Botham. Sure. *Err errrn* Bobby Moore. I honestly- I- I don't watch football. I don't care. So who is- Ian Botham? "British cricket commentator?" Oh my god, that's an English looking fellow. I see that face and think, "Yes, well, the theh bleh ble blah blah blah." Was I accurate with his voice? "I've been reading that and I don't read a lot of auto biographies. I write-" Ah- he's got a pretty understandable accent. That's quite disappointing. How 'bout Bobby Moore? [I can't understand what he's saying sorry] That's a proper like, David Beckham kind of voice. [Still can't understand] I love that accent. Thank you Bobby Moore. "When did the English defeat the Spanish Armada?" I've got to be a little more British. *puts on hat* Sherlock time. "When did English-" Okay. "Fourteen sixty-six." *Err errrn* Damn it! "Anyone can make a complaint about the police by writing to the Chief Constable of the police force involved." This is actually something relevant to living in the UK. This is helpful to the people coming in as well. Yes. *ding!* Okay. Good question. "By law, which two types of media have to give balanced coverage of all political parties and equal time to rival viewpoints before an election?" I'm guessing "Television" and- "Radio...?" There's SO much bias in British newspapers. I'm gonna assume it's the same the world over. So yea I'm gonna- *ding!* - guess. Yep. The British government hasn't figured out the internet exists yet. They're morons. *evil laughter* "What did Sir Frank Whittle invent in the 1930s?" Alright. *puts on a hat again* Time to bring out the big guns. Sir Frank Whittle, yes my good friend. I-I don't know if this hat fits. "Sir Frank Whittle..." Is this so you can have some random trivia to boast about in the pub? So this is not during war time... It seems a little early for jet engines... If this is ballpoint pen... It's not quite... cool enough. Radar sounds like something a British person would co.. I'm gonna- I... Nyehhh- Hovercraft. *Err errrn* Jet engine? Really? "Who wrote 'The Daffodils'?" Well... This guy has words in his name. I think Lord Byron did poetry and stuff... ... Yeah he has words in his name. I'm gonna go with that. *ding!* Yes! *laughs* *clap* Perfect logic! "Who was given the title of Lord Protector?" That sounds pretty old... Was it Winston Churchill? I think Oliver Cromwell had something to do with Ireland... Have they put both Charles' in to throw me? I'm gonna guess Winston Churchill. *Err errrn* No. Yea, it does- it- I should have gone with my gut. It did sound pretty old "Lord Protector". Ah! Here. "His measures against them in Ireland have been characterised by some as genocidal or near-genocidal, and his record is harshly critised in Ireland." He was selected as one of the ten greatest Britons of all time in a 2002 BBC poll." Jesus Christ... *laughs* Those two sentences next to each other. Could you imagine that? Like in Germany, "Hitler killed millions of Jews... He was selected as one of the top ten Germans in a poll on TV." Alright. Last question. "What are the 40 days before Easter called?" Another bloody religious question. Lent. *ding!* Okay. "Finish quiz". "16 of 24 questions answered correctly." I got sixty-six point sixty-seven percent correct. "You failed the test." Okay, this is clearly garbage. I am the most British person you will ever see. *offended* Alright. Okay. One more test. One more test. I can do this. Alright. "What is the Home Secretary responsible for?" ... uhhh. Defense right? *Err errrn* What?! No! *laughs* NO! *continues laughing* "Crime, policing and immigration." Oh my god. Yea, if you get that one wrong, they're gonna be mad. The person who makes the test is like, "What am I for? What do I do?" "Talk about me!" "When walking your dog in a public place, you must ensure:" *laughs* Okay! This is a useful question. This is how to act. "Your dog wears a collar showing the name and address of the owner..." *laughs* "High visibility jacket." I think it's the collar right? *ding!* Yep. "Where did the first farmers come from?" This is- what? *loses oxygen over stupidity of the test* Are we talkin' fricken'- Cave man times? Like when did people first come into England? The first time? Well I would imagine... If we're in north-west Europe- It would be from south cause we came up from Africa. "South-west Europe"... *Err errrn* Didn't the people from south-east Europe have to go to south-west then up to England? How is this relevant??? "The National Anthem 'God save the queen' can only be played in the presence of the Queen." Okay. Let's test this. *plays 'God save the queen'* Is the Queen here? ... No. We just have solid evidence- that, that is not true. *ding!* "Who became Prime Minister and was an inspirational leader to the British people during World War II?" Yeah, that's Winston Churchill. *ding!* Yeah, he- He was a controversial dude. A lot of British people really like him but he- *laughs* He was pretty racist in a lot of ways from what I've heard. I believe he took some food from India, somewhere in India as backup resources for later in the war causing some people to starve in India. And when he was told about this stuff, told that there were problems in India, he said something along the lines of, "Isn't Ghandi dead yet?" A very tactful man, Winston Churchill. "Under which king did the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms in England unite to defeat the Vikings?" Alright, so we're talking about- Okay- Vikings. They're from... Norway right? Swedish and Norwegian. Okay, so this is talking about Roomie and Pewdiepie's ancestors used to be pillaging my-my ancestors and we fought them back. Take that Roomie and Pewdiepie. Ehhhh... King Alfred sounds pretty great but William of Orange... I have a gut feeling *Err errrn* No! He was great after all... "When was the Carta Magna created?" Surely this is pretty early stuff. Nah it's like, the dark ages right? Euhhh... *ding!* Okay! Phew! I know some of this stuff from playing "Civilization". It's a brilliant game. See in school they should just let kids play civ games. That way they'll learn about history accurately. When Ghandi is nuking your countries, that's what happens. "Northern Ireland has its own banknotes, which are valid everywhere in the UK." I don't think so. Scotland does. *Err errrn* Oh do they? What do they look like? Show me one! I have never seen one of these. That's so cool! "Northern Ireland Bank to stop issuing it's own notes." When is it gonna stop? "2022... Okay." I shouldn't be saying "Tweny" when I'm doing an English Citizenship test should I? Twenty twenty-two. "How many members does a jury have in England, Wales and Northern Ireland?" Uhhhhhhhhh... *ding!* Yes! That was purely guessing from having watched a bunch of American shows. "Which two of the following religious communities celebrate Diwali?" This is fascinating. This isn't even to do with English history. This is to do with modern multiculturalism I suppose. Perhaps this is trying to help people to integrate with other cultures that are coming here? Don't think it's Jewish, *heavy sigh* It doesn't sound Sikh either... *ding!* *Err errrn* Oh it is Sikh. I didn't realize that. My best friend for a good two years was Sikh but he didn't know anything about his religion. He just wore the turban. I remember asking him like, "What gods do you have?" And he didn't know! "What is Good Friday?" "The day when Jesus Christ rose from the dead." "The day when Jesus Christ was born." "The day when Jesus Christ died." "The day when Jesus Christ became thirty years old." That's so weird! Like why? "The day when he rose from the dead," right? Actually, the correct answer is, none of these, because he- There's no evidence that he rose from the dead! People cannot rise from the dead! That's impossible! *under his breath* Oh my god... *Err errrn* Was it? Why would they call it Good Friday? It's been a while since I was at Sunday school my god.... "Where are the Crown Jewels kept?" "Tower of London" isn't it? *ding!* Yes! This is like a sneaky question, like if you know where they're kept, Mayb- maybe you'll be able to take em. So we gotta get- bring in the people who don't know where they're kept. So maybe this is misinformation. Who knows? That could be a sneaky that they're pulling on ya. "Which sport can be traced back to the 15th century in Scotland?" Who needs to know this you bloody morons! Who made this test? "Who wrote the British Citizenship Test?" *typing* "The Home Secretary", Okay! Yeah I guess it- it's down to the Home Secretary to confirm this kind of stuff. 'Cause they're in charge of immigration. Is Sajid Daveed- Javeed- Sajid Da- Javeed I don't know how to pronounce that. Sajid Javid. Yeah let's go with Sajid Javid. You are a bloody moron, if you think this "test" is ANYTHING close to being relevant. Look at your STUPID MORON face. Like, that's not an insult to how you look, That's just- YOU ARE A MORON, And that is your face. For this particular issue, I know nothing else about you. You might be a lovely person. "Which sport can be traced back-" Look at me getting all fricken' empathetic about the person who thinks people shouldn't be allowed into the country If they can't trace w- a sport back to the fifteenth century. You moron! *sigh* Sorry. *laughs* Getting a little bit heated. I keep thinking, 'Maybe I've got something wrong there. 'Maybe it's not the Home Secretary that's in charge of this. Maybe it's unreasonable to expect someone who came into office, last year, to have changed this within a year. Maybe there's other people which stop him from being able to change this. Maybe there's political pressure.' I dunno. It's just very easy to want to call someone a moron, for this. And I don't know who to call a moron. Please, in the comments, if you're more knowledgeable than me about this, tell me who is this moron. Or if I'm correct and Sajeed Daveed is in fact the moron. Okay. Moving on. "Rugby." *Err errrn* Aghhh! Seriously? Golf? Golf is the one I would have assumed for the- fr- from the culture in Scotland. Th- they're more in tool like throwing- throwing logs at badgers. I dunno. Like- Aggressive things. From my assumptions. I guess they're pretty chill people up in Scotland. More than I thought. Unless the initial golf was like- Having a fricken' log- Like a tree- And you just smack some invader's head. "Which court deals with minor criminal cases in England, Wales and Northern Ireland?" So... Minor criminal cases. I'm guessing not the high courts. Is it Magistrates' Court? *ding!* Alright. Again, I don't understand this stuff. This is- this is pretty relevant. Like, this is the stuff that's quite useful to know. ... And like would help people to understand how to navigate problems if they've been wronged in some way. If you come into the country, you want to make sure those people can properly defend themselves. And you want them to know- - to understand how other people can defend themselves against them if they do anything wrong. Like, that's fair. "What did the Scottish John Logie Bar- Baird-" What a name... John l- l... Logie Bear? Lojie Bard? "- develop?" Okay. It wasn't the personal computer was it? Honestly, no idea. Pure guess. Sure let's- ... That sounds a bit modern... But I've clicked it now. *Err errrn* Television? No clue. "You have failed the test?" Even worse this time. *amused* I'm sorry fellas... I have wronged the flag. All my British subscribers... can unsubscribe... I am now going to pick another country to be apart of. Actually, that'd make for a good video. "Picking another country to be apart of because I'm clearly not English." This is ridiculous. This is absolutely ridiculous. This is such an important test for so many- How many people was it? In- in four year there were nearly a million tests taken. So, for millions of people. These kinds of questions are determining where or not they should be accepted into this country. Not the kind of questions that talk about their moral values, or how the country functions, which policies exist... I'd be curious as to what you think as well in the comments. Is there a good citizenship test for a country? So, what we've learned... The English system is... STUPID, This is STUPID. I am sTuPiD. Sorry. *laughs* Goodbye my old friend... Goodbye... Okay, maybe one better way to end this would be to make a cup of tea. I don't know what to do though... I'm clearly not British enough... I don't think this is helping... I mean, I'm trying my best. But this isn't really coming across... This isn't working at all... All of my efforts were for nothing... I'll never be British... Wait! That kind of attitude is the most British thing of all! Being disappointed and sad. All the time. Turns out, being British was inside all along. Cheers for watching And have a nice day. Oopsie time! Hello again. ... mhm... *laughs together* Hello again, it's still me. *laughs* Do you wanna do this? No! *waves hand* Hey, "Oopsie Time!" Welcome back guys. *claps* I'm here again with my sister Hannah- I'm actually going to help this time. And we're gonna take a look at some of the mistakes I made in the last video. As you all remember, The last video was about BTS. Funnily enough, Their fan base had a few things to say about my... analysis.. In general, everyone was incredibly kind which I was a little surprised about because I roasted them a little bit... So the first big mistake I made was, uhh I said- *whoosh* Next up! J-Hope. Don't think this one's a rapper- dOn'T tHiNk ThIs OnEs A rApPeR- *whoosh* (I'm sorry) I was wrong. J-Hope is a rapper. I'm very sorry J-Hope. "You have gained the ARMY's favor, what is your wish?" Do you not want to be in a boy band? I wish I was in a boy band too. Yea! *laughs* Other than that, Turn off ad block. Uhm... *laughs* There were absolutely tons, of essay comments in this section. I don't think I've ever asked a question and received- so much insanely detailed feedback. Lil' overwhelming. I saw one person say ehm... "Because one direction had started to go down, there was more space in the western market for a big boy band to kind of capture the market." I do agree with that. Back when I started getting into J-pop, there were like, no popular, western boy bands and I was sad about that.
D- Yeah... So you just went over to where they are. Are they cranking out the attractive man-ness?
H- Yes. And Korea just improved on that... Yeah... *both of them laugh* "Dave was wrong because he assumed 'you're not a failure' was trying to make a factual statement rather than offering a compliment." "Dave will be wrong again because now he'll assume this is trying to offer a compliment when it's trying to make a factual statement." Aww... Thank you? *laughs* No... Why're you saying thank you? They've already told you, this is NOT a compliment. Well, he's saying a factual statement- *dave.exe is loading* Wait a second... "He's gonna assume that I'm offering a compliment, when I'm just trying to make a factual statement." And you said "Thank you." So you were! This guy is right! D - Yeah...
H- You're wrong. He was correct... "You would really enjoy mono." That's a horrible thing to say. *laughs* That was my thought as well. I was like- "Why are all these people wishing... Pestilence upon me?" H- *laughs* But yeah, "Mono" is in fact a song by RM. I listen to it and it's not really my thing. I think I prefer harder rappers as a general roll. This hand writing's as good as yours. *laughs* Shut up! More reason for him to be my bias. *laughs* This one made me laugh. *rapping* Dave PLEASe go take a nap. *laughs* That was something... People were talking about my eye bags... This is JUST how I look. Thank you to the... I'd say about a good thousand comments saying anywhere from worrying to gross. *laughs* Oh yeah the BIGGEST mistake I made. I was... foolish enough to not trust my instincts and instead to look up the pronunciation of things. "You pronounced "Daegu" "Hai-gu" and I'm dying in laughter." "Am I pronouncing Maknae right?" "Google translate: Mahneh" "Mahneh" See- "Haigu" D- See, when you type-
H- That's stupid. I was like- "Daegu?" And it was like- "Haigu" Oh sorry. I don't want to make a MiStAkE. "Daegu" *laughs*
D-That's better.
H- That's closer. Yeah, I'll just roll with that. Screw it. "Daegu" Im? Daegu. Pit. C'mon, what is it? ... Maknae? Macnay? Yeah. Macnay? Magneh. *laughs* He's the- Magneh. *laughs* "Kim Sock-Jin?" So that's just...? You don't pronounce the 'E' at all? Sock-Jin! Yeah. You know 'Steven Yeun'? Yeah. I always thought it was Steven Yune. Yeah no. No. Steven Yun. Yeah. And he did the thing- I'm coning about that. Yeah same thing. Thanks for all the information on how BTS- I feel like I'm being sarcastic- I'm not. I actually really appreciated the uh- the information. There's been tons of stuff that's really made me think, And kinda makes me wanna start a group, I don't think I'd call it a boy band cause I'm not sure I can pull that off. Like a rap crew! Yeah! I could totally be a member of a rap crew. There ya go. Thanks again for tuning in again for another episode of 'Oopsie Time'. At the end of whatever this video was. Cheers for watching and have a nice day.
