Emmys 2015 | Andy Samberg's Opening Monologue

gentlemen your host for this evening Andy Samberg hello and welcome to the 67th Emmy Awards I'm Andy Samberg Justin Timberlake is not coming now that we put that to bed what an exciting event you guys the Emmys are all about celebrating the best of the year in television so sorry books not tonight suck it books my love in this futuristic set we got here I don't know yeah why not not totally sure whether to host the Emmys or to try to get the sports Almanac back from Biff I have to say I'm so honored to join the proud ranks of past Emmy hosts you know incredible legendary people like Robert Blake and Bill Cosby no no I got to get out of here but seriously between Bill Cosby Jared Fogel and Robert Durst stealing that sandwich not a good year for dudes who love hoagies get your house in order Dagwood for blondie there are some changes in how certain shows are classified this year for example oranges the new black is now technically a drama while Louie is now technically jazz another change this year if your speech goes too long tonight instead of being played off by the orchestra you're gonna have to deal with the mean nun from Game of Thrones so keep those speeches tight thanks James thank you and good luck tonight thank you appreciate that but the big story this year of course is diversity this is the most diverse group of nominees in Emmy history so congratulations Hollywood you did yeah racism is over don't fact-check that of course given our history being more diverse than ever isn't always saying that much I mean I bet on the day of Jackie Robinson's first game the baseball commissioner was like this year's Brooklyn Dodgers are more diverse than ever in history you know it's good it's probably what he said the wage gap between men and women hired for major roles in Hollywood is still an issue wait I'm sorry I misread that the age gap between men and women hired for major roles in Hollywood is still an issue wait I'm sorry I misread it again it's both still both so crappy on two fronts Donald Trump of course is running for president to the delight of uncles everywhere but I've got to say sure Donald Trump seems racist what else sidenote is it just me or does Bernie Sanders always look like his flight is delayed as a mess it was announced that Arnold Schwarzenegger is taking over as the host of The Apprentice weird that he's not hosting To Catch a Predator and he's got the experience guy kills so many predators I guess he knows what he's doing Paula Deen is on this season of Dancing with the Stars but I got to say if I wanted to see an intolerant lady dance I would have gotten one of Kim Davis's for weddings it's so ironic that she came out of jail - eye of the tiger when you consider how many dudes have boned each other - that song yeah it's been a year of goodbyes we said goodbye to madmen and Parks and Recreation and yeah and we also said goodbye to true detective even though it's still on the air watched every episode once again we had many film actors nominated for TV roles such as Paul Giamatti for his incredible work on inside Amy Schumer yeah it's nice that he was able to find the time away from his other job of playing every music manager in every movie ever the contracts are coming cubed I just got to talk to Stacee Jaxx about Brian Wilson moving on as we all know you can't have an award show these days without some heated celebrity beefs and tonight is no exception isn't that right Amy all right now let's talk about you guys now let's talk about our incredible nominees shall we yeah my friend Jon Hamm is nominated for madman for the last time but don't worry after the success of better call Saul I'm sure John will be nominated for the upcoming Mad Men prequel Dick Whitman horny hobo Amy Schumer is nominated tonight and I got to say yeah yeah I got to say humor is really really funny you know for a person Adrien Brody is here nominated for his work in the TV movie Houdini he escaped luzo aduba is here yeah she's nominated for her role in orange is the new black which was a comedy last year but a drama this year and as a result luzo has a chance to make history as the first person since Edie Asner to win both a drama and comedy Emmy for the same character further proving my theory that Muzo aduba is the new IDI as nerd allison janney can also make history tonight yes yes with a win for Supporting Actress she would move into second place all-time in acting wins tying Edie Asner and affirming what I've always said that Allison Janney is the new Ed Asner and the old ozo aduba all right let's give away some mother humping Emmys Niemi goes to the record Allison Janney's mom career me4 allison janney Allison's first four Emmys were for her role on the west wing

Channel: Television Academy

Views: 4,263,203

Keywords: Emmys, Primetime Emmys, Awards, Speech, 67th Primetime Emmy Awards, Emmy Award (Award), Primetime Emmy Award (Award), Andy Samberg (Celebrity)

Id: tA4Mp0yyKa8

Length: 9min 1sec (541 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 20 2015