Dr. Phil On The Truth About White Privilege, Trans-Racial Guest 'Treasure' + More

[Music] you're watching The Breakfast Club [Music] morning everybody is de jmv Angela ye Charlemagne the guy we are the breakfast club we got a special guest in the building yes sir dr. Phil what's up dr. Phil mornin how's everybody you moving slow this morning man you tie it they draggin you around well I'm on West Coast time so this is like I don't go to sleep until like 3:00 a.m. so then you get up with three hours sleep you know and I'm old that's right we just signed up for some more do you ever look at the mistake man do I have to do press I mean goddamn you know something no you know I like getting out and talking to people I really do I don't like doing it at six o'clock in the morning for like the Today Show or something but this is pretty that's pretty civilized here fire with this girl treasure that you had on the show that is a black girl who says that she's white Charlamagne gave a donkey today I've ever heard donkey today I even remember who that is dr. Phil I do remember this treasure girl yeah yes I do she drove me crazy you know when you get somebody that is that radical the first thing you do is think you know is this a put-on right but we before we could have somebody on we do a deep dive on these people before they ever get on and this mother was desperate and what happened is this girl was adopted and her mother did not tell her her her father was a white guy her stepfather was a white guy he died and when he died mom said oh by the way that was your stepdad you're not biracial your real dad is black and she was like what because she didn't she just had no idea and at that same time they moved out of the suburbs and into the city and her whole life changed and she freaked out her ass every day in school that's why I was that's why I was working so hard on girl come on you are a racist you need to shut up yeah and I brought in a life coach for you you probably saw the wonderful lady out of Atlanta that's a really really talented and delightful life coach for but if she's a hard head I'm afraid she's gonna really get her ass beat seriously believe somebody can be translation yeah I do I mean it you you identify with what you grow up with what you learn what what all your cultural cues are everything that you identify with you know that's that's your identity it's not your genetics it's your identity belief and they pull in our black [ __ ] exactly and I and her best friend is black and she saying all of these these racial things and what about your best friend I asked her you know she's your best friend watching this you trashing everybody and it's well everybody but her like you know you're very confused young lady yeah from what happened on the show what we learned about her her backstory that sounds like things like triggered it might be something mental yeah there's something mental and it is trauma I mean she first off I think her mother made a real mistake not being straight up with her then she lost her lifestyle and her father and then this news all at the same time and he's very confused plus she's very entitled and very immature you know so all that together a lot of people do feel entitled yeah we just did a show on Broadway vilage yeah one thing about the treasure guard you feel like y'all was exploiting her for ratings because she is 16 her prefrontal cortex isn't truly developed you just learnt that word 25 you feel like y'all exploiting her look for readings no I don't think we exported her for writings and you know by the way you people ask me that sometimes about a given show or whatever ratings me a dredge right that's set before the season ever starts and we've been on 17 years so what I do with one guest or another doesn't change a damn thing one way or another and if I get down to where I got a throw somebody under the bus for ratings you know I don't need to do this at all let alone throw somebody on the bus and we spend a lot of time protecting kids as a young boy have you ever thought about changing you want it to be a different race never occurred to me never want to be black no privilege deconstructing white privilege panel why it is so hard for white people don't understand their privilege to understand white privilege yes because they think it's an individual thing and they get defensive and start saying I didn't do anything wrong they don't get the fact that white privilege does not have anything to do with they're doing something specifically wrong they think it's all about them personally taking some unfair advantage and that's not what it's about it's a it's about the fact that this is what a ngerous to people that are not of color that they don't consciously choose they don't consciously create it's white privilege if you can walk down the street and people three of you walk down the street and somebody walking towards you not cross over to the other side because they're afraid something's going to happen they don't realize that that even happens but it does they don't realize they can walk into a restaurant and a white woman reach down and snap her purse shut they don't realize that doesn't happen when they walk in but it does happen when you walk in yeah exactly well it's pretty good-looking hoodie though yeah I mean they they don't get that they don't get that when you're white you get a 40 percent longer interview for a job than you do if you're of color they don't realize that if you're of color people sit 24 percent further away from you during that interview then e of you're white they don't realize those things happen because it doesn't show they don't feel it when did you recognize your own white privilege yeah when I started studying in a long time ago you know in college you know back in my master's program and doctoral program we started looking at those things then so I got sensitized to it and started studying it we know the clip ol clip from Donald Trump he said that uh black people have more advantages than white people because of like affirmative action and things like that so he could come back he would be a black man it was an old clip though well why do some people why do some of you who think black people have more privileges in them because they're idiots idiotic is it it's an idiotic thing to say I mean that's just simply not true they they don't have more privileges because there's a historical momentum in terms of educational opportunity and the things that we just talked about with regard to white privilege that they simply don't know because they haven't had to climb that steeper Hill because things that flowed their direction let me tell you that just would not he wouldn't say that if he walked that he walked that path very long white people I say what do you how are you using your privilege to combat prejudice you actually got a whole list on how to combat white privilege yeah I think only thing you can do let's just you know when I started the show 17 years ago people asked me what are you gonna do I said one of the things I want to do is I want to talk about the silent epidemics in America and that's one of the silent epidemic in America makes epidemics you know just like domestic violence and mental illness I mean there's a whole lot of style in epidemics in America that's one of them you know I want to ask you know you did a show on a DD and we talked about mental illness a lot do you feel like some of that is a fad and people are just using that as excuses for things well ATD swear I call a wastebasket diagnosis what do you mean it's when I was growing up that kid was an out-of-control brat okay now since we have a TD and ADHD it has become a wastebasket diagnosis anytime a kid is misbehaving he's a DD or ADHD so let's throw ritalin at him and that in it is so over diagnosed it is absolutely unbelievable and so they throw ritalin at him which is a stimulant because if you got a DD or ADHD it means that you're not your underactive in your brain and so it's not suppressing an inhibiting behavior so they give a stimulant to activate the brain if it's already activated now you just send a kid climbing up the wall the worst thing you can possibly do it's over diagnosed and that's so it's a wastebasket diagnosis inna to just take all kids that are misbehaving and throw them into that one diagnosis and give them ritalin send them out the door but medicine is a high-volume business and so it's easier to write a scrip than it is to figure out what's really going on yeah he tried to put me on riddle in the middle school and my father you didn't take ritalin did you okay I was gonna ask about mental illness as well it seems like a lot of people are talking about mental illness and if something's wrong that's the first thing I have mentally ill what do you think about that as well well look it could certainly be an excuse and you know when I finished my doctoral program I spent a year I did a years post doctoral fellowship in forensic psychology and so I've spent a lot of time in the legal system and I see it used as an excuse an awful lot but I don't want that to keep people from talking about mental illness because what I've tried to do is push mental illness mental health to the forefront of the narrative in America because I don't want people to be ashamed about talking about mental illness I hate to see people misuse it because I want people to feel free to talk about mental illness in America anxiety depression people need to talk that and not feel alone not feel ashamed not hide it get rid of the stigma from mental illness because of me if you've got a mental illness it is an illness just like if you had diabetes or a kidney infection or a knee problem whatever it shouldn't have any more stigma than any other disease I just found out that anxiety wasn't me telling it's cuz I suffer from anxiety but I didn't put it under the mid to illness category until I found out this year by what did you think it was what you think was happening I started anxiety like before I was diagnosed nine years ago sexual anxiety because I just have all these panic attacks so that's when I realized okay this is a thing called anxiety but I didn't realize they went under the mental illness umbrella and I thought mental illness I thought bipolar and stuff like that I didn't know anxiety was yeah anxiety is I'm glad that they that they labeled that for you so you could understand because a lot of people feel that it's a weakness like you some kind of weakness that you can't handle it or the stress is getting to you and it makes you mentally weak or that you're just not strong you're not a man you're not whatever and that's just absolutely not true this is a neurologically based situation and often times it can be eighty percent neurological and 20% psychological you just don't know to you get in and figure it out because you know there's there's an amygdala part of the brain where it's kind of like a recorder and it's where you record all of the bad things that have happened all the bad memories and it's like a racetrack without an exit ramp and so you get going around on that racetrack and it just builds up anxiety because it goes over and over and over in your mind exactly and we talk a hundred and twenty-five words a minute but we think between twelve and fourteen hundred words a minute so you can say something that is scary or hear something that's scary but you can repeat it ten times faster so all during the day you're saying that stuff to yourself and it just goes over and over your head you just scare the hell out of yourself yes so I'm glad I'm I'm glad you're dealing with and I'm glad you're talking about it I just wrote a book about it I know you did and that's a that is a great thing to do because a lot of people pay attention to you they look up to you and they say okay if he can acknowledge that and deal with it then I can and they don't feel alone and they don't feel that there's some kind of inferior person because they admire you and say if you can deal with it they can deal with it and you will cause people to come out and be willing to talk about that and reach out for help and not feel like they're alone have you ever dealt with it not anxiety that's something that well that's not true everybody has it to some degree but if it gets to be a pattern and if it gets to be prolonged in two weeks or months then people need to seek help for it yeah all right we first introduced the cats meows a girl on your show and since then she's signed a record deal and everybody knows who she is do you keep in contact with her and what do you think about everything that she's done since then um I do not keep in contact with her are you ashamed about that dr. Phil I'm I wish her nothing but the best but I think that that's a very dysfunctional situation yeah um I really think that's a very dysfunctional situation when she came on she was really misbehaving and having some problems and we sent her to a really great place called turnabout ranch and it's a really wonderful place it's a real working ranch and she really got away from her attitude and she started participating she actually took a leadership position with a lot of girls there and was just doing terrific and she got home and she got back into that environment and it just all came unraveled and somehow or another they've turned it into a cash cow yeah and so I suppose there's a silver lining in that regard but I think that encourages the wanna come on the show and act up because they think they'll get famous yeah and you know I've we since that a few times she came back for a follow-up visit and when she came back for the follow-up visit they they were backstage I had him walk out he sat down they turn around and looked and I had no audience at all I emptied the building there was no audience there and the mother was stunned what where is everybody I said well you don't need an audience you're just here to follow up and continue the progress with your daughter right what do you need an audience for and she didn't know what to say she didn't know what to do and was very huffy about the whole thing because at that point I thought she had flipped into trying to play to the audience so I emptied the whole building had not one person in the audience how do you feel about people rewarding her with things like record deals and says well I well first off she may have some talent I don't know she doesn't but I think they are rewarding bad behavior and I think her mother is rewarding bad behavior and I think that's terrible I think absolutely terrible with that said you know and I've fallen under this category too do you think we reward bad behavior like if I talk about them on The Breakfast Club well you bring them on dr. Phil show was that rewarding bad behavior well I think it's rewarding bad behavior if if in some way if her currency is attention to misbehaving and you you pay attention to that you edify that you lift that up then that's rewarding bad behavior and so yeah I think that is empowering her giving her a platform to run on we see the effects of social media or unease in this younger generation now because now it seems like social media is actually the cause for a lot of this it's the cause of people wanting to be famous and wanting to make a lot of money it's also the cause of depression sort of caused the depression and a lot of negative stuff as well well the social medias it's you know that's good and bad and I'll tell you what I think I think young people have great knowledge about the Internet I've got an 8 year old granddaughter that can order a car on the Internet I mean what did they have money for a car she doesn't that's the only reason she doesn't have one okay but she knows how to click here go there go you know she knows how to move around the internet and a lot of kids have the knowledge to use it but they don't have the wisdom right I mean a high percentage of kids are in contact with a predator within two hours of being on the Internet the Predators are just I mean they're they're like jaws just swimming around out there looking for these kids and they get them and they talk them out their bedroom windows in the middle of the night and I deal with it time after time so it is a scary terrain and it is unmonitored and that's a problem but you know my generation we can see around the corners but we don't know most parents don't know that game controllers where they think their kids in there just playing Mario Brothers or something they don't understand that that game controller has access to the Internet that they can be back there talking to somebody on the Internet with that game control they don't even know that right so they don't know that their child can be getting groomed while they think they're playing a video game right and so the kids have the knowledge but not the wisdom and that's the problem and I've seen kids that commit suicide because they don't get enough likes for their pictures or somebody is bullying him on the Internet you know when I was growing up you got bullied at school you got bullied on the bus docks you get bullied on the playground but you went home you were away from it's over but now it follows you home you can change schools it follows you to the next school because they've still got their hooks in you on the Internet and that's a terrible thing now you mentioned bullying and you know I'm sure when you were a kid you got into a fight or two a with a bully I'm sure maybe yes no no you know okay you seem like a bully type a little bit dr. Phil yeah thank you for saying that you a bully in school I was not I was so skinny you wouldn't think it looking at me now I was pretty skinny and gangly I was knees and elbows and noodle neck the reason I ask is is when I was a kid in it was a bully you stood up to the bully and usually it went away now it seems like they're telling these kids to you know tell a teacher and which I guess is good but then when you leave school there's no teacher there anymore these kids are really dealing with these problems and it seems like nowadays they don't want kids to have I want to say altercation or to deal with it themselves what do you think about that for parents on the raise their kids in this era you know I think parents make a big mistake when they say well this is just kids let it work it out among themselves to a degree kids are kids you needed I'm working out among themselves but when a kid's getting bullied the last thing in the world they need is to be lift left alone where they feel like they got nobody and I was invited to come to Congress to testify when they were doing a reauthorization of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act because they were concerned about cyberbullying and I was petitioning them to reallocate funds to deal with cyberbullying because if you don't put money behind it in the curriculum it's not going to change you can talk about it ja Jack all you want but you'll put money behind it it is not gonna change and so I was wanting to do and they did they did put money behind it because the teachers were saying oh that's happening off campus so we can't do anything about it and I just said that that's not right you it it's your group they're your kids it's your class and that's the social group and in fact that it's happening off campus you need to go off campus if that's necessary it's happening in your sociogram you need to deal with it and that's beginning to change where they do hold them accountable if it's happening in their class whether it happens at school or whether it happens at home so I think parents need to monitor where their kids are going on the internet and they need to make damn sure they know what's happening it's a healthy way to do social media because you know I'm joking but we say the prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed because it makes people compose impulsive like their a healthy way for a kid to do it I should they not be on it at all well first off I think they should be limited in the amount of time they spend on it because they can get addicted to this right well it's all they do I mean we're gonna walk around with kids whose necks are bent down for cuz everybody's looking at their their their phones and think about how much that has changed when I started dr. Phil and I'm not talking about myself in the third person it's not called the dr. Phil show it's called dr. Phil when I started there the first text had not been sent there were no smartphones there was no Facebook that was 17 years ago none of this even existed then and now it is totally defining our society and people are completely consumed by it and parents need to limit the kids access to it just in they can't that they may not be able to limit where they go on it because they're not adept enough at the technology but they can limit the amount of time they're on it put make them put it down and go outside you know what the sunshine and you know throw the ball around break a sweat do something put it down and go outside there's there's more than the virtual world there's a real world get out there and deal with your friends by having kids phones shut off after a certain amount of hours and all that they have all these things that they can do now for parents to make sure that their kids can't be on their phones and tablets all the time so yeah I didn't know that I know they'd shut them down so I guess that's good but if the kids holding them accountable to like Apple is accountable for making sure that these kids have less access yeah that would be great I mean because if they don't they'll get bored and go outside what is that what do you think that unattainable picture of perfection social media is pain is doing the kids I think it really causes them to compare themselves don't understand that when you see a selfie from Kim Kardashian or somebody they don't understand just like reality shows they don't understand these reality shows have 16 riders on their staff they know the reality about a reality show they got an old writing staff they don't understand that they don't understand when they see that selfie that it's been photoshopped after taking 700 different pictures and so they compare themselves to that fantasy right nobody looks like that they go I Drive down sunset every day going to the studio and I look at these billboards up there you see that you see these young people boys and girls on these billboards and they're 15 16 years old they don't really look like that if you look at him in real life you couldn't pick her out of a lineup mmm she look like that but the young people don't know that so they compare their reality to that fantasy and they come out on the short end of the stick and so they feel terrible you know we talked about cash my girl we talked about no you talked about we talked about treasure what does Oprah think about all what is over think about this ratchet [ __ ] you're doing that well you have to ask Oprah about that talk to your body I'll talk to her all the time what you know we she and I are really good friends and so we both having been down this path of you know we talked about the frustrations and all the things and you know we we we tend to both shake our heads at the same time so yeah God you know because it you know some of the things that come out of what you do you go wow you know I'm really proud of that other times you just go you know God you know that that was not the intended outcome but you know you take the good with you but with the bad a couple of things that go really viral and get huge might be those ones that are more yeah you know we put we put videos up from our show you know we do clips and stuff like that you know last year we had 1.8 billion views of videos from a dr. Phil show that's a lot of views catch me outside girl the president no you know she was a she was a fraction of the views that were out there so you know the majority of them are people that are actually looking for information about anxiety depression marriage parenting things like that then every once in a while you get you know something like that that pops up but in the main people are generally looking for information to make their lives better and what your view is on it since we talked about bullying earlier right there was a father whose son was being bullied in school and they're 8 years old and he actually ended up sitting down with the bully talking to the mom talking to the bully and finding out that he actually was being bullied himself he was homeless he didn't have clean clothes you don't have new shoes and he ended up taking the kids shopping right what do you think about that approach well look if somebody is a bully there's something wrong with that kid right whether it's an adult or a kid either one there's something wrong with that kid that is a damaged individual and one of the things I've often talked about is when you hear about a bully what you wanted to go do is you know grab that that kid and shake them till their teeth rattle but the fact is there is damaged as the kid they're bullying and you're not going to get a change if you don't if you don't treat the bully just like you do the kid they're not as sympathetic as the person they're bullying but they're as broken as the person they're bullying and so somehow or another you've got to get through to that bully and when you look at the statistics about who does the bullying that bullying has been modeled for them they're either bullied in the home and in the vast majority of the cases there's violence in the home they're getting boxed around slapped around yelled out bullied in the home and so they model that behavior in school or with their peers so they're usually victims and perpetrators at one in the same time so you've got to approach it from both ends they're not as sympathetic so people aren't motivated to do that but they're going through the same things that they're putting on somebody else what advice do you give parents when their child is going to school getting bullied the schools not doing anything about it what would you tell the parents to do and what advice would they give their own child well the first thing I tell parents is not just wait until you're kids being bullied ask yourself do you know if your kids a bully because let me tell you somebody's doing the bullying absolutely so where are the parents of the bullies you you need to ask yourself not just as my kid being bullied but do I have a bully for a kid find out and they're klarik we teach that there are clues for that there are red flags for that like if your kids coming home with stuff II didn't leave with extra money yeah he's got lunch money he didn't leave with he's got a jacket he didn't leave he could be selling drugs so it's not as bad as you thought right he's coming home with things he has friends and all of a sudden one of them is marginalized he's not there and you hear them back there making jokes about him or you know they're targeting this kid in some way then you need to step up and do something about that as a parent and if your kid is being bullied there are red flags for that too if all of a sudden the kids making a lot of excuses doesn't want to go to school he starts coming home he's got marks on him he's got stuff missing his shirts torn whatever he starts getting a lot of stomachaches ambiguous symptoms doesn't want to go to school things like that there are red red flags for this if you're a parent you pay attention you can find out if your kids a bully or being bullied and then you need to do something about it question real quick did you expect to get where you are after first appearing on her show did you see this no I I never had any intention of being on television and I was very busy with a trial science firm when I met Oprah and loved the career I was in was very successful in several different ways primarily loving what I was doing I was very passionate about what I was doing and had no desire to be on television at all and when they called to ask me to be on the show I was on the show that night the represented her in the mad cow case up in Amarillo I was on her defense team up there and so the night the verdict came in I was on the show that night but then a few weeks later months later they called and asked me to come be on the show because she had made a commitment to her viewers she said look anything I find in my life that I think is of real value whether it's a hairdryer or an expert or anything I'll share it with you and she said I was one of those things she found in her life that was a value so she was willing to share it with her viewers can't wait I get rich enough to be able to share all the humans yeah she wanted to share the advice oh and they called and said you know we want you to be on the show and I said no that's okay but I've got the name of three people that I think could do a really good job and so I passed and about 30 minutes later the phone rang and it was Oprah and she says you don't say no no profe what do you get gone come be on the show and I said well I I'm going scuba diving either when they're doing I'm going scuba diving see well we'll wait until you get back how's that and I said well okay so I went scuba diving and I came back and went on the show and I just basically said look I'll just I'm gonna do what I do and if y'all can cut that up into television fine and if you can't okay and so I just went and did what I did and what they'll say in the rest is history I guess it it just kind of clicked then people were pretty much in shock at first to tell you the truth they were pretty much in shock because I just kind of say what I think and people were like whoa and so she I want you to come back and I said well a lot of people were kind of in shock what do you think she said you weren't as straight with them as you were with me so turn up the heat I said they're already in shock should i no turn up the heat and you know deal with them the way you dealt with me and so I said okay she said you were you were kind of holding back just be honest be would be yourself and I did and then I started doing Oprah every Tuesday for five years and then did my own show after that you know whole story I'm sitting here thinking like oh really calls people and says you don't say no now in my mind I always imagined that but she actually said that she was joking yes she was yes she was we listen I'd known her for two and a half years at that point we lived together in a bed-and-breakfast the total trial team out Amarillo for like two and a half months she was like the extra sister I never wanted Ida grew up with three sisters so we knew each other really really well so she was calling cutting up saying come on like she scold you when you do stuff like Kashmir style girl and treasure I feel like she scolds you a little bit well you would be wrong it's good to say makes for good copy but today right Christmas we don't give each other gifts we just make contact and talk and you know wish each other Merry Christmas and well and we always talk birthdays and special days and stuff like that but you know we're in contact a lot probably talked to her two or three times in the last week or ten days you think she changed your life for the better oh absolutely yeah no question about it absolutely she's I think you meet five I think you meet five pivotal people in your life and and they could be pivotal in a good way they can be pivotal in a bad way or some of them are half in half yeah like my dad was pivotal person in my life half and a half he's a bad alcoholic but he was also a role model as a hardest-working man I've ever seen so he was pivotal and I haven't had a drink since I was 16 because I saw what it did to him so I just said so he was very negative as an alcoholic but very positive role model and working hard so he was 50/50 and Oprah's been a very pivotal person in my life because she opened up a whole new arena an array that's created a whole different track in my life that I would have never gone down I was very successful before I met her but it's a whole it's a whole different it's a whole different it's a whole different level of engagement with the world do you think those are the best people right people that see things in you that you don't necessarily see in yourself yeah and you know Oprah's a do you know her I met her I've had the pleasure of meeting her once yeah she's she's really magnetic wouldn't you agree absolutely and if it wouldn't matter what role she was in if you met her you would remember her whether she was working in a store or she was a teacher you had or whatever you would remember that woman because she's got that spark she's got that engagement I'll call her God's only begotten daughter yeah yes yes well listen when you when Oprah launches you it's yours to lose right because she gives you a good running start right no question about it we gonna let dr. field go cuz I can see he's getting sick of this [ __ ] this is got open body language here I got a smile on my face you're just very insecure well I know Megan carry Megan Kelly very well and I always look at people's intent and I don't think that she had any negative intent at all I think is a poor choice of words I think she'd take it back a million times over but I don't think she had any negative intent at all especially what she doesn't her line of work that's something that she should have been researched and known about instead of just she's heard it before like that so she should know better of course that's why I say it's a really last thing I always say fore I ever walk out on live TV and I do it like I did Colbert last night the last thing I say before I walk onstage I close my eyes and say do not walk out there and say something stupid that's pretty profound for me do not say some stupid intention like don't you think sometimes impact is greater than intention can I still feel the same way you know if as long as it's positive intent it's cool but sometimes you can have all the positive attention in the world but the impact still may be negative well there's no doubt that impact is impact there's no question about it but I think it's a very low level of analysis if you ignore impacts like if somebody runs over your foot in the driveway and they didn't know your foot was there that's different than if somebody swerves over and runs over your foot because they saw it there one is responsibility the other is blame I'm gonna blame the guy that swerved over there and ran over my foot but I'm not gonna blame somebody that ran over it accidentally and did not know it they're right there's a difference between blame and responsibility and if you ignore the difference then I think you're missing a very important aspect of what's going on your foot still smashed is what you're saying impact his impact you still got a smashed foot now they backed up over it sumbitch about five times now okay I'm pissed off but you got to look at intent if it's an accident then so I don't know if she has been fired yeah yeah maybe looking for a reason yeah [Music]

Channel: Breakfast Club Power 105.1 FM

Views: 1,899,643

Rating: 4.6335888 out of 5

Keywords: the breakfast club, power1051, celebrity news, radio, video, interview, angela yee, charlamagne tha god, dj envy, dr. phil

Id: 8HILJzMTCwI

Length: 41min 11sec (2471 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 29 2018