Don't say these 5 words and phrases in English! Say this instead...Sound Confident in English Fast.

Hi and welcome back to Love English I'm Leila and today I want to help you sound more confident. You might already feel confident you've probably seen a plenty of YouTube tutorials, TED talks that talk about improving your posture maybe your body language and of course your voice to sound more confident well in today's lesson I'm going to share five phrases that you should avoid in fact don't say them and I'm going to give you the alternative that helps you sound more confident more self-assured more assertive and of course when it comes to sounding confident business meetings presentations at university perhaps and giving a presentation again or even in a seminars sounding confident and self-assured assertive but not aggressive is going to help you in all kinds of situations it's going to help you sound more professional to gain the respect of your peers and even your superiors and of course it's going to help you feel better feel more confident and more sure of yourself in situations where perhaps sharing your opinion or even accepting when you've done something wrong you can be a little bit scary so this lesson is really going to be quite short and sweet but it should have a big impact so here we go the five things I don't want you to say to help you sound more confident and the alternatives let's get started right so these five phrases are commonly used and in fact some of them might leave you scratching your head thinking well why doesn't she want me to use these expressions language is subtle there are differences in meaning and connotations that come with some of these phrases in fact if you're a non-native speaker you probably wouldn't have even realized some of the differences I'm going to explain so if you would like help understanding these subtle differences in English then the sponsor of today's video kamilly might be the app to help you do that kamilly is an app where you are able to learn face to face with native professional English language teachers and it's exclusively in English tutors are available 24 hours a day seven days a week and the 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in the English language but for now I'm going to help you with phrases and give you the alternative to help you sound more confident self-assured and assertive in any kind of situation right number one and you might disagree with me here but just wait sorry sorry now this doesn't mean I want you to never say sorry to not apologize to people if you do something wrong however sorry kind of sounds like a child apologizing to their mum so if you are in a professional environment or indeed at university and you have done something wrong perhaps you've turned up late to work you've forgotten a meeting you have I don't know not done all the research for a project that you should have done and if you haven't done that that's very very bad especially talking to my students but if you have done something wrong rather than say sorry try using I apologize I apologize now the difference in I apologize and I'm sorry really sounds that you are taking ownership of your mistake it sounds more sophisticated and controlled it's acknowledging that you've made a mistake and that you want to rectify it there is a slight difference in using sorry and apologize it really does sound more deliberate that you want to apologize but sorry is often used in a way that perhaps you're being forced or you feel like it's an obligation to apologize oh yeah I'm sorry the bus was late rather say I apologize but I missed my bus I just can't believe I did it I apologize more deliberate more responsible more sophisticated number two and I think this is really self-explanatory why you should not use this phrase whether it's true or simply that you're not happy about a particular situation at work or at university to use the phrase it's not fair it's not fair again gives a connotation this sense that you're being childish and immature and course in a professional environment at university you really don't want to give this impression however this does not mean I want you to keep your mouth shut and not say when you are unhappy or indeed when something isn't fair but of course in English we have many alternatives to this phrase so if you're not five years old and complaining that your brother has got more chocolate than you then you might prefer these phrases okay let's think of a situation perhaps you're in a meeting with your boss and colleagues and your boss speaks to you in a way that you don't think is particularly fair maybe he blames you for a late report delivery or for not doing some research correctly rather than say that's not fair don't speak to me in front of everybody like that you could use the phrase and this will make you sound very self-assured confident and assertive that's not warranted or that's unwarranted using the prefix fair that's unwarranted I think your comments in the meeting were unwarranted today I think you'll find that the deadline was actually next week or even if it is true and you do make a mistake you could say I think those comments were unwarranted you could have emailed me and we could have had a face-to-face discussion rather than in front of everybody else so I think that was unwarranted or I don't think that was warranted there we go basically it means unfair that's not fair okay number three it's not my fault it's not my fault and again whether you are speaking with a teacher a lecturer a boss your colleagues your peers at university to say that it's not my fault to suggest that you did nothing wrong when perhaps you actually did or even if you did nothing wrong it's still better to take ownership of something and explain the situation taking ownership of something suggests that you are a confident person that even when mistakes are made you are able to own up to them to admit and to take control of the situation so not only will avoiding using this phrase help you feel more confident but it will definitely help people perceive you as being more confident now what can you say when it really wasn't your fault or perhaps you feel that it wasn't your fault and you want to explain what has happened well let's have a look at three alternatives number one I wasn't aware that I wasn't aware and that if this is true and you really weren't aware of the situation and therefore a mistake was made then I guess it wasn't your fault but if you say I wasn't aware then how can it be your fault you didn't know so you couldn't make the right decision or do the right thing when you act with a limited information in any kind of situation and of course you're not always able to make the right decision I wasn't aware that I wasn't aware that we had a meeting at 2:00 o'clock today no one emailed me so I'm sorry it wasn't my fault nobody emailed me rather say I wasn't aware that there was a meeting today at 2 o'clock no one emailed me number 2 justification if you have done something that people perceive to be wrong or incorrect and just simply explain why justify your actions I did it that way because I did it that way because or I took the decision because simply you think because is going to help you sound more confident and of course show that you are in control of a situation so when there is a good logical justification for a decision that's been made then you really shouldn't need to use at the phrase it's not my fault just to find yourself through a logical thought process and explanation means you don't have to use it's not my fault and number three making sure that there is a flow of conversation that there's a dialogue between you and the person or people that are perhaps blaming you for something that indeed wasn't your fault you could say I think there seems to be some confusion here perhaps we can discuss this further in a team meeting or in the office it could be any situation that you might discuss what has happened or what the problem might be but simply explaining that there's some confusion perhaps they don't quite understand what has happened and that you'd like to discuss it further will of course resolve the situation and again using this phrase is going to help you sound confident assertive and people are going to listen to say it's not my fault will automatically make people react in a negative way it's almost that you're putting a barrier up and rejecting their thoughts their opinion on a particular situation so don't put a barrier up rather create a situation where there's open dialogue and you're able to explain yourself and justify your actions number four a word in the English language well actually two contracted but often has a negative impact and really in a work environment you don't want to be using this I can't I can't really there is no such word as can't which is true it's too contracted so to use I can't suggest that really one you're not motivated to find a solution to your rather negative and three you're basically disobeying whoever has asked you to do something let's have a look at some alternatives to can't unable unable now if any of you have studied English well you will know that I am able is a more formal equivalent to I can in the same way I can't I am unable to remember the preposition so I'm unable to get that report to you by Monday because again I think explaining giving justifications to your answer is really important here or using I can't but I can ending with a positive if there is something that you really are unable to do more formal less negative in connotation I'm unable to or I can't but I can and often giving people an alternative will sound more like a team player more motivated and generally just having a better attitude so I can't get the report to you by Monday but I can get it to you by Tuesday morning how does that sound and again you might just want to justify why but certainly being able to speak in this way it shows that you are confident assertive and you can find solutions to a problem perfect if someone asks you to do something and you're not sure how you could simply say I'll look into that for you I'll look into that for you so you might not have the information present right at that moment but you can certainly do some research or find someone who can help you and again instead of just immediately putting the walls up saying I can't do that you're saying you're going to try and by doing this it shows a certain amount of confidence in your own ability right now I might not be able to do it but I'm sure I can find the resources or the information to achieve what you are asking of me you can see how a lot of these phrases are going to be really helpful in the workplace in an office environment in a professional situation and again if you really are not able to do something you can say I can't because explain yourself don't be scared to justify your reasons if there is a good one and again you could also say I'm unable to because and finally number five a word that's although only four letters usually quite insignificant in sentences can actually soften your language but in the wrong situation it can sound well weak it can weaken your language and make you sound less confident less assertive so if you are a boss or a team leader on a university project you might not want to use just just by using just you are devaluing the word that comes in front of it could I just ask you a question no could I ask you a question sounds much more assertive not rude you can add please to the end but when you say could I just it's almost that you're scared to ask that you're lacking the confidence to check something to ask the question can I just ask you to do some research on that subject we discussed again using just minimizes the importance of your request if you're a team leader even if you're not if you're just part of a group and you've asked someone to do something using just is minimizing and devaluing what you are asking of them interestingly there has been research done to suggest that women use this word and other language in the workplace where their language is essentially softened which basically means they are devaluing themselves and how people perceive them they're not being perceived as confident and assertive whereas men would be less likely to use the word adjust so ladies if you are professionals whether a boss or simply working in a professional environment try to avoid using this word so that others see you as confident self-assured and assertive so like I said a very simple lesson but hopefully it gives you an understanding of how some very simple basic words in English can affect how people perceive you and potentially how you feel about yourself the subtleties of language are essential to understand particularly as you advance in your English language learning journey and don't forget if you'd like to learn more about phrases like these and how to sound more confident in English check out that Camberley app and use our code Laila that Sabra for your free 15 minutes thanks for watching bye

Channel: Love English with Leila & Sabrah

Views: 18,041

Keywords: Love English with Leila & Sabrah, Love English with Leila & Sabrah YouTube, YouTube Love English with Leila & Sabrah, learn English, love English, English, don't say in English, don't say this in English, do say in English, phrases not to use in English, stop saying in English, don't say can't, sound confident in English, speak with confidence, improve speaking in English, advanced English, professional English, business English

Id: D_0b_nucWsM

Length: 16min 45sec (1005 seconds)

Published: Wed May 27 2020