Doctors, what "asking for a friend" stories have you heard? - (r/AskReddit)

like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight our /oscar edit by planet reddit doctors of reddit what's the best asking for a friend story you've heard one girl was interested in laxatives for a friend she tried to learn everything about the dose where what to buy how to drink she was brought in a week later with complete intestinal Eboni she tried to lose weight so much and drank two or three tablets at a time oh I have more stories like that lol hope you got better wife's dad is a urologist when we first started dating a friend of mine wanted her to ask if any other penis enlargement pills were legit and actually worked she went with the asking for a friend approach and he immediately assumed she was talking about me thanks babe so do they asking for a friend he said no but I think you your friend should try anyways I asked my doctor about a a for a friend of mine really yes later the doctor still asks me how I'm doing with my sobriety I've stopped trying to convince him I really was asking for a friend so how are you doing staying clean and all edit row' my first silver and my most upvoted comment at the same time also looking at the comment bellow I have both username checks out and relevant username I'm doing fine doctor I've cart over I was asked the following so if I swallow [ __ ] and flush it down with vodka do I still get pregnant she was in early 20s she waited for her actual friend who broke her nose in a bar fight so if I swallowed [ __ ] and flush it down with vodka do I still get pregnant actually I'd say the odds are pretty good I couldn't contain myself I was just an intern and she sat in the waiting room not a patient so I asked how much did you swallow she said that he came twice so I said that vodka saved her lady walks in and goes so if you cheated and got pregnant but then had sex with your husband would the baby become his it took everything in me not to laugh hey I would have [ __ ] myself laughing go on we are watching a doc had a guy who just got out of jail a few days earlier came in with his GF who had signed in for an STD check walking to meet them and he says casually is it possible to get gonorrhea in your throat at that moment I knew he had gonorrhea in his throat so how would my friend know if he had gonorrhea in his throat having a very kitten throat do you sleep with hot male patients asking for a friend kind of you to ask for friend since you obviously err and asking for yourself if the answer is yes do you sleep with ugly male patients edit grammar not a doctor but pharmacist someone called the pharmacy one day a young guy I picked up excuse me how much does viagra cost is there anything cheaper I have someone that needs it I explained everything and suddenly will it work if I take it with alcohol the guy began asking for someone else at the end was for him and was asking just because he wanted his little one to work while drunk so does it work asking for a friend it'll stare but you probably won't be able to finish also don't take things that duck with your circulation blood pressure on top of alcohol there are easier ways to have a really dumb night out not a doctor but public health worker kinda NSFW had an older man come into our clinic asking for a specific type of STD check guy's ex-wife was going around telling rumors that he was having sex with his goat so was wanting to know if there was a way we could do our STD tests that could prove if he had hadn't had sex with any goats through this whole conversation he just abruptly asks so if someone was having sex with a goat what STDs could they get the dude is totally King his goats edit typos Oh doesn't sound like a rumor to me not mine but one of the elder pharmacists I work with went out to help this 20-ish girl with some made questions she then asked him about condoms and said if you were to do me what condom would you use yeah he just walked away all 12 of them at the same time what a king my father is a doctor and he got a call once in the middle of the night from his call shared doctor's patient the man asked what to do about a bump on his friends arm that he scratched and something came out he mentioned it was leaking a little oil now it was a zit he scratched a pimple woke the whole family up at 3:00 a.m. because he had to page my dad over a zit how old was this man 13 I briefly dated a doctor and she told me a few hilarious stories if my friend masturbated with someone else's vibrator will she get an ST B can wearing a butt plug all day give you diarrhea if you have an ulcer and swallow a guy's come can you get pregnant two out of three of these seem like somewhat legitimate questions seem like valid questions not a doctor but I was an intern I was in the OPD and this man from a different province came in and told me his friend has injected petroleum jelly and their member years ago in that now it's getting painful why AAA he came back the next day and showed his lumpy member edit for clarification this is done to increase girth of the penis this is a common thing apparently saw a patient who did the same had to have his penis reconstructed he told everyone it was worth it what what does it take if not a doctor but I used to work next to a a pharmacy and my boss a 55 why oh man asked me to go buy him some condoms for his nephew edit of pharmacy not a a pharmacy my phone likes to double letters Alcoholics Anonymous pharmacy anti a pharmacy studies have been done about the effects of THC on glaucoma when I worked for a glaucoma specialist we had a hippie type person coming with their family member for a new patient eval and asked the doctor to sign paperwork okaying a medical marijuana script for the patient's glaucoma problem was the patient was totally fine didn't find any signs of the disease and his eye pressure was within normal limits and the doctor did not appreciate having someone try to trick him to piggyback off all this and because I'm tired of the questions marijuana only lowers your eye pressures for max for hours to have sustained effects who'd need to hit the blunt 6x a day and nearly 2200 times a year take the damn eyedrops I know a lotta stoners that would take that as a challenge another family medicine doc called in a doc yesterday on the cell phone asking what to do when you get soap in your eyes choose wisely folks I mean it says so on the bottle in case of contact with eyes rinse thoroughly and contact a medical professional better safe than sorry I wonder how you'd grow up to become an adult without ever having gotten soap in your eyes as a kid that [ __ ] happened every time I took a shower and that damn shampoo bottle lied to me it did hurt who you asking for a friend hey I'll be your friend join our community discord link in description doctors are all busy ATM and I was sure the top comment was gonna start with not a doctor but there is one dream where in my dream I'm spider-man but I'm losing my powers I'm climbing a wall but I keep falling in my dream actually it's not even my dream it's a friend of Mines dream you know I'm something of the doctor myself the dude could have outed Peter right there a plus first professionalism not a doctor but I saw this dude say to a doctor can two white people have a black child asking for a friend the man's wife had an affair edit the dude had the baby in the stroller and when he was walking out he looked like he was going to eat the child and I was secretly dying inside that's rough he must have had so many emotions running through his head I wonder if the guy ever suspected anything before his wife gave birth wonder why she's always watching madyun movies yes hi this is dr. X I need to call in a prescription for hydroxychloroquine do you have any in stock of asking for a friend I have lupus and while I no longer take Plaquenil for a couple reasons reading about how doctors are writing themselves and their family's prescriptions makes my blood boil but there are a lot of people who legitimately need it for autoimmune issues and they can't get it right now we're already at higher risk for cabbage now we have to try not to catch anything while flaring dito but I don't take it currently because of the side effects these people taking it thinking it's going to prevent covered are in for a nasty surprise one of my besties called me late at night after his day party he said someone who was staying the night wanted to have sex with his GF they were drunk and a little uncoordinated and somehow the frenulum the little string thinking at the tip of the penis revved and it won't stop bleeding I gave his friend some general advice on stopping the bleeding and recommended a trip to the air the next day he asked me if I had any recommendations for ologists for his friend because he needs minor surgery on his peepee I told him to cut the [ __ ] and in response he sent me a pic of his injured penis so long story short his wank got a remodeling and he is still with this vagina dentata sporting woman divorced women Cougars like to explain muscle strains or sex injuries to get a rise out of dogs best way to deal is to stay monotone and not react patient describes proximal adductor muscle pain in hip flexion during recreational activity rated seven stroke ten pain is now present during ambulation if you don't react they move along doesn't take long in the office to have seen and/or heard everything I'm not interested that you are recently divorced started working out and discovered tinder good on you but it takes more to get a rise out of me one colleague in training had a professional cuddler with a similar injury duck was very conservative possibly on the sheltered side and in front of two of his superiors during the case and she was not shy I would actually was not visually what I assume most would hope for in a professional cuddler either if that one I enjoyed on account of him not her takes more to get a rise out of me so what does it take doc fair question I have had a few women want to show the way they take off their sports bra because it causes shoulder pain of course I couldn't let them expose themselves because that could cause me some work-related grief that I am not willing to invite but on a serious note if you think about pulling off a wet sweaty sports bra after a fitness class the motion is similar enough to a shoulder impingement test fortunately seeing cougar tits isn't a positive for the test so you can skip that part I have joked and considered using sports bra sign as an orthopaedic sign but I'd rather spend time on reading than trying to publish case studies as forgetting arise out of me stroke signs in a patient walking in the door with neck pain would be one or a patient with foot pain who isn't managing their diabetes because they don't want to accept their diagnosis therefore causing nerve damage patients with quarter equina numb crotch saddle region usually after car accident that don't want to take the next step referral which risks making nerve damage permanent melanoma and other possible skin cancers stuff like that gets my attention I'm aware no one wants to go in for a torn rotator cuff and come out with a referral for a basal cell carcinoma but that's the job so unless then boobs have a lesion that needs to be checked I'd rather avoid the paperwork HR is to be avoided at all costs asymmetrical shape border not clearly defined color not consistent or multicolored diameter over six millimeters evolving or changing if you see something questionable get a checked and a veterinarian when taking a dog temperature rectally an owner going mummy doesn't like it either ooh I'm so glad my dog is the opposite took heron once because she was yelping and limping randomly and I thought it was because she pulled a muscle possibly related to the little arthritis she has in her knee it was heart-wrenching to see her avoid greeting us because she was in pain she's also a retired pharmaceutical research beagle and as the veterinarian took her leg through the motions trying to see if anything was causing her pain she said I don't know if she would complain if any of this did hurt her she's so well behaved on the table she let us do anything to her yes she absolutely would except for nail trims blood draws urinary drawers thermometers are all fine but don't touch her paws we had been using valium for nail trims but based on her history as a working dog who still responds to handling as a cue to stay perfectly still we decided to start using a Thundershirt she seems to be doing just as well in a Thundershirt as with valium now double points of its the male owner who says that and the wife girlfriend in question is right there beside him making a face that tells you he's in the [ __ ] as soon as they get back out to the car not a doctor heard this one from my cousin a guy comes in and asks if it's possible to get a girl pregnant with someone else's sperm if guy had sex with guy be before banging see female wish I knew the full story can't be sure but my guess is that Gaia had sex with guy be before banging see female yep but in what configuration could there be leftover sperm on the guy's doll if there wasn't it was a short enough timeframe like maybe one hour it's marginally possible right like maybe five percent chance the girl gets pregnant of their b/c of a fee that one time and like 0.1% chance that the other guy's sperm outcompetes the guy having sex for is it not possible at all not a doctor but was mistaken for one by a drunk dude at a costume party okay twice sent in to sober up the first time comes back five minutes later with no recollection of our first conversation and asks me for painkillers and a twitch does they kill you I gave him the number for the suicide prevention hotline on a napkin and told him that they can help with the issue he happily staggered away and I haven't heard from him since either he got help or he didn't but either way it was a weird experience general practitioner here one of my non-medical friends asks me that his friend wants to know a good home remedy for an STD I told him a tablespoon of powdered detergent mixed in one glass of water should work next thing I know he's in my kitchen stirring a glass what exactly is this remedy good for asking for a friend getting the stains out of your underwear so not me but a person I saw so the patient sick as heck staggers to the doctor and at the absolute loudest possible voice she said are you single Betty wants to know Betty was her childhood pet cow the doctor calmly says I'm sorry but I am NOT interested we were all busting out laughing and I barely could breathe I later asked the doctor how he kept a straight face he said laughing on the inside it's a lot like crying on the inside that is now the hospital I frequently visit not a doctor fremulon get out of my head when the patient woke up his skeleton was missing and the doctor was never heard from again anyway that's how I lost my medical license archimedes no ideas filthy umber I'm directly related to a nurse more than once I've approached her with a question for a friend that actually was for a friend middle-aged women ordering a shitload of comfort food at our KFC drive-through and then adding sometimes multiple times that it's not just for her it's usually the contrary that happens to me when I get food delivered and discover that a put cutlery for two in the bag nope nope no everything's just for me asking for my puppy I took a class in medical parasitology the professor a PhD in parasitology once had a very concerned neighbor bring him dog poop that had human pin worms in it he suggested the neighbor take his puppy to the veterinarian for some albendazole and assured him that the infection would resolve pin worms are still a common and very treatable infection even among first world children but not puppies thanks for watching subscribe for 3 videos a day [Music]

Channel: Ask Planet

Views: 92,674

Rating: 4.9090567 out of 5

Keywords: asking for a friend, doctor askreddit, doctor stories askreddit, ask reddit, reddit top posts, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit cringe, reddit, updoot reddit, best reddit posts, funny reddit, reddit story, askreddit funny, reddit funny, askreddit, reddit and chill, tz reddit, reddit watchers, r/askreddit, reddit best, reddit compilation, askreddit top posts, askreddit stories, funny reddit stories, askreddit reading, askreddit scary, funny askreddit

Id: vUGwtqnidQs

Length: 17min 26sec (1046 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 24 2020