Doctors Share Funniest Waking up from Anesthesia Stories (Reddit Stories r/AskReddit)

doctors nurses and hospital staff all read it what are your experiences funny sad horrible with people waking from anesthesia a patient woke up from his wisdom tooth removal begging the doctor to let him be David Bowie the doctor actually asked how that was supposed to happen and the answer was that it would be fantastic he then sang a pitch-perfect rendition of Space Oddity in an admirable Bowie impression pies himself and passed out had a patient in foreign an endoscopy as a matter of course we place a speculum thinkable gag with a metal ring instead of a ball in the mouth through which to pass the scope so the patient doesn't bite the scope once they are under we typically place it right at induction of anesthesia this patient had the presence of mind to ask us what the safeword was before he lost consciousness as we placed the speculum one of the rare times the hole or erupted in laughter well at least we know he's prudent I once had a patient starts totally thrashing her sister telling me how she has always been the black sheep of the family is a scumbag and wants to bang her husband she's just going off and sitting in the doorway was the sister the only one there to support her after surgery you could tell it was crushing for her this was probably an hour after the patient left PACU conscious but still pretty whacked out yikes I had a patient pet an invisible kitty that was named after me the next day was completely with it and was wondering what happened to that kitty I think the patient wanted you to sit in their lap so they could pet you I had an eight-year-old kid in the Orsay you mother cuz right before she fell asleep I did this well I freaking hate you guys it's because the sensations are weird and scary as you go under I'm an anesthesia student currently doing my clinical rotations and I had an old guy wake up and the first thing he asked was do I still have my balls and I told him yep both of em and he said both or you guys are great I like to imagine he only had one ball and was thrilled to hear that you gave him a new one not a hospital staff but my great-grandfather had surgery one time and I was in the room when he woke up he was a World War 2 veteran and was convinced that he was in a Nazi Pio w camp he recognized me and told me I had to help him escape by killing the guards nurses because he knew I knew how to kill people I was 16 obviously a trained killer when the nurse came in he was calm and kept motioning with his head her tummy and finally looked at me and said kill her now she always came back with another male nurse after that nurse here this really big hairy Turkish guy whom I've never met before told me how much he loved me and that he wanted to kiss me I'm male bTW he wanted to kiss you told to me by my wife confirmed by the nurse I was in bed hospital room waiting for surgery they already gave me meds to calm me but they knocked me out two nurses coming to move me to a gurney but they were small and I'm big they can't move me over my wife came over and poked me in the ribs saying you're snoring roll over and I rolled right onto the gurney your wife is brilliant I was the patient but I had to get five teeth pulled the nurse was helping my mom shuffle me to the car I turned to thank her but couldn't get my mouth to work so I bowed and offed an imaginary cap Dame anesthesia went straight from the air to surgery to put a plate in my badly broken arm so I hadn't been on a war DTC prior to the operation became out of surgery and recovery and was being pushed in a hospital bed to a ward we turned into a ward and it was full of elderly people I was in my early 20s I turned to the hospital porter pushing me and shouted sorry we seem to have taken a wrong turn we're in the morgue one feo I hope they didn't hear you my first memory when waking up from shoulder surgery was a somewhat panicked nurse rummaging through the blankets at the bottom of my bed repeatedly muttering where are his where are his legs I always cross my legs when I sit lay down and apparently I must have done this as I was initially coming off the anesthesia it freaked me out for a second but then I processed what was going on the nurse seemed relieved when I mumbled there right here and nearly kicked her in the face when I extended my legs what an odd thing to be saying out loud patient checking in I was 18 and just had my appendix removed my mum was at my bedside I wake up and more pain from the operation than the appendicitis and even worse my balls are itchy I'm wearing a hospital gown and I'm out of it so I put my hand on my stomach and run it down to my skin so I can scratch my balls obviously not wearing underwear and my hand runs down an excess of smooth skin then suddenly I'm touching my goods I ramage around and come to the conclusion that someone has shaved my pubes no one told me this would happen I was livid it's the hype of visiting hours and I'm shouting in my broad Scottish accent aaww mum they've shaved my pubes I'm no happy about this I want my pubes back that's no right no one told me about this get my Pew B's my mother was mortified and she's trying to get me to calm down while laughing and trying avoid a scene they grew back in about four weeks so it was no biggie but at the time it was a serious issue when I got my wisdom teeth out I apparently called my Middle Eastern surgeon a sly Arabian to thief after coming - that was fun to learn about when I regained mental clarity so I manitech and we have this regular that comes in all the time she's an old black lady who has a lot of health issues including dementia this time I'm actually not entirely sure why she was coming in but whatever it was she needed to be intubated so we sedated her put the tube in and did what we needed when everything was finished we called ends to pick her up and take her back home when they arrived the nurse and I went in to prep her to leave the lady is just starting to wake up from sedation so with the EMTs standing in the room we take out her Foley catheter then she queefs the nurse and I smirk at each other but is fairly common and not the funny part the funny part is that the noise seemed to surprise her and apparently remind her what was going on because she gasps and then looks over to the EMTs and says in an attempt at a sexy voice your boys ever seen a black coochie befo everyone in the room had to take a second to attempt to regain composure but the EMTs ended up having to leave the room and the nurses crouching on the ground trying not to die I since I still have the Foley in my hands don't have this freedom and unforced to try to keep my sights from launching into orbit it's since become a running joke around the air no way this literally happened to me I was the paramedic taking her home law when my husband woke up from having his wisdom teeth surgically removed his nurse was a rather large lady like 350 plus he looked her dead in the eyes and said you're too beautiful to be a nurse you should have been a model why don't you just come home with me and my wife yes he was propositioning a three-way with a 50 year old 350 pound nurse most awkward moment of my life how nice that he wanted to include you though I got my wisdom teeth out last month and was curiously subdued my wife informed me at least at the office she loaded me up in the car and away we went about halfway home she called my mother to let her know that the surgery went well and I remained stonily quiet after she got off the phone I demanded that my wife call my mother back when she did so I told her mom you have lots of dogs and they need lots of love then I made the cut the call motion to my wife when we arrived home I was brought up short by my wife's pillowcase which has a sloth on it I asked out loud honey there's a freaking sloth in here how did we catch one there so fast then she tried to take my jeans off off me so I could go to sleep and I yelled well Emma see when she grabbed for the fly all in all a pretty great morning they're so fast law when I was 14 I had eye surgery coming out of anesthesia the nurses asked me if I could remember my name i slurred my name is Worcestershire sauce no wait that's not a cool name my name is shark I can't even pronounce Worcestershire completely sober impressive wish I was earlier to this one my fancy recently had her tonsils removed her mother and I were there when she woke up after a few minutes she told her mother now that I've got my tonsils out I can fit more of his willy in my mouth it was awkward I am so glad I made it down to this one I had surgery on my wrist and came out of anesthesia screaming my balls hurt the doctor came in and asked what was wrong I said my balls hurt he replied dude you had wrist surgery no one touched your balls two stories one I had a lady in her 70s who drank martinis and took xanax all day every day so she had such a strong tolerance to the sedation I was giving her that she just totally stopped breathing while still awake I had to say ma'am I'm going to have to bag you now and she mouthed okay and I put the Ambu bag on her face and force breathed for her until she got her respiratory effort back to I was in helping with a heart procedure and the patient went into complete heart block and his heart stopped beating I hop up to the table and start chest compressions while they are horribly trying to put in a temporary pacing wire I had an arterial pressure waveform of the monitor so I could see exactly how hard to do the compressions and the man never lost consciousness so I'm doing chest compressions on a dude while he looks right at my face the whole time so it was like press press sorry press press sorry for about two minutes until the pacing wire was in place that's amazing both stories I was the patient I'd had all four wisdom teeth out at once and I woke up earlier than expected in recovery early enough that they hadn't taken out the wadding at the back of my mouth meant to absorb the blood so I woke up immediately felt like I was choking and panicked I left off the bed and a bunch of nurses came to restrain me still out of it I fought them and definitely gave one of them a good punch before they got me back on the bed I passed out again straight away still feel bad about it poor nurse came out of anesthetic and the lead nurse decides it's time to tell me all about post-op care she says now this is going to be a pain in the ass and I said if that's the case then you guys performed the wrong procedure it was a nose operation the assistant nurse started laughing led nurse not so amused not a doc or nurse when I got my wisdom teeth out they strapped my arm down for the IV anesthetic apparently before passing out I looked up at the Whitehead German dentist and said in my best connery Goldfinger do you expect me to talk the dentist didn't reply but he did tell me after surgery that it was one of the funniest things anyone asked him in a haze no Mr Bond I expect you to sleep not a doctor a friend was in a car crash pretty bad he was in a coma for two months he had a female doctor for two months until he came out of his coma every time his doctor was checking on he would reach up and grab her breast getting he heard her voice when we told him about he did not believe us so he asked her and she confirmed it said she never stopped him because it seemed to keep him calm the doctor deserves a medal I was the patient but I think this qualifies colonoscopy in this big lounge chair still half asleep in recovery I half roll over and let rip the biggest fart in history the devil himself created this one eye open half an eye at a nurse asked was that me you on the ground she nods and I'd go back to sleep you have to fart after the colonoscopy or they don't let you go home I was working in the pediatric ER and sedating a skater kid 14 or 15 we are talking more a wannabe suburban kid rather than a punk kinda kid that obviously joined the frat in college his mom is there in the room as he starts waking up once we had his wrist set and in the cast his mom is typical well-to-do suburban mom who spends lots of time ago current PTA meeting satyrs not trashy at all and family was likely from a well-to-do part of town my buddy who is fairly hairy on his arm ztc reached across his upper chest to grab an IV line kid was half-asleep raised his head up with his eyes still closed and lipped my buddy's armed with this exaggerated lick like it was and ice-cream cone kid flops his head back onto the pillow and his mom just looks mortified in the two three seconds that pass before he slurs out man I sure do love to lick some pee his mom immediately turned bright red and walked out of the room and we all busted out laughing except the guy who got licked via doc was this young petite girl and she said she peed herself a little she was laughing so hard but for months we would give that garlic motions in the air when we passed him in the hall and putting rolling stone stickers on his locker etc I still give him crap about that from time to time my favorite is to catch him chatting or something standing at the desk and to lean over and sniff his forearm and ask if he has been fishing not in US but I have a good one it's been 15 years and I'm still horrified when I think about it I have to preface this story by saying that I have a super conservative girl-next-door type of personality I am shy somewhat of an introvert and most definitely never want to be the center of attention on purpose I went in for a colonoscopy with the yum-yum juice that made me forget everything that happened although I vaguely remember talking and hearing laughter when I woke up people were smoking and glancing at each other trying to suppress their laughter I asked if something happened and the stars reassured me that everything was good so when the doctor came in to talk to me before I was released I asked him if something funny had happened he reassured me that I had a very normal procedure and then told me that sometimes the medication caused people to lower their inhibitions but that the effects wore off very quickly as does the medication I asked him what he meant by lowering their inhibitions and he paused again and reassured me that it happens to a lot of people so yeah I spent my entire colonoscopy talking dirty to my doctor and his tools I never went back to that doctor again TL DR yum yum juice made me say dirty things to the doctor change doctors and consume moving out of state due to my humiliation edit because grandma you have been visited by the Duggar with good times for good times increase comment with cheers dog oh hey wait there's something new the updo treaded discord channel join for a heck in good time or if you want to share an idea for the next video I put the discord link in the video description if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Studios

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Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, storytime, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, brainydude, karma, brainy, memes, dankify, tumblr, meme awards, doctors, doctors of reddit, nurses, anesthesia, dentist, medical stories, doctor, waking up from anesthesia

Id: i40mq3CULzo

Length: 15min 41sec (941 seconds)

Published: Sat May 11 2019