THINGS A WOMAN MUST LEARN SOONER THAN LATER by R.C. Blakes

good evening good evening everybody good evening good evening good evening i'm so used to facebook um i i i'm asking people even on youtube to share this but i don't think there's any sharing on youtube i hope everybody's doing great i have uh something i want to talk to you about tonight um is is my my picture right in my you know am i am i good my internet has been somewhat strange so am i good is my picture good uh yes yes hello yes we see you okay good i'm right side up and all of that all right all right good good good good good thank you for coming in tonight thank you for coming in tonight on this sunday night i apologize first of all for um i apologize for um being away so long and i may do something a little different tonight at the end of our discussion if lisa allows me to do it i may take three calls relative to the subject matter that we're going to discuss and if i if i feel up to doing that i will give you the number and you can call me and we can kind of talk a little bit about what we're going to discuss tonight as you know i have a very uh serious and ongoing burden for um for the sisters you know i have a have a legitimate and um authentic passion to speak into the lives of sisters and it really started with um started with this book right here the father-daughter talk uh i wrote this book to a generation of women who have not had fathers to really speak into their lives this was written this was written in 2014 and so i wrote it from the perspective of a father and that's pretty much the perspective that i come from i i speak to i speak to you like a father would to a daughter i speak to you like a brother would to a sister like an uncle would to a niece like a teacher would to a student thank you so much and god has just given me this burden and god has given me this grace to be able to speak into the lives of women and and um it's not focused good well this is an iphone so is it my issue is it on your end this is not a camera so it focuses automatically is everybody else focused talk to me i can see you i see you perfectly okay check out check out your in because this is an iphone i'm not using my camera so there's nothing for me to focus it focuses automatically so tonight let's jump in let's jump in um things women must learn [Music] sooner than later one of the big issues i have one of the great frustrations i have in mentoring pastoring empowering teaching admonishing women is that too often [Music] you you take the class you pay the cost for the class and you always fail the test you take the class you take all of the notes and when it's time to take the test you always fail the test and you find yourself repeating classes that you should have long ago graduated from there are some things that you should have been learned and and you know you're you're here now at 30 40 50 60 repeating the same lessons that um were taught to you in your latter teens in your 20s and it's like you never learned the lesson i started to uh when i developed this title i started to you know make it in in some way things women you know over 35 40 must learn sooner than later but then i thought about it the stuff that i need to talk to that group about is the same stuff younger women need to hear because women you know i'm telling you in a lot of cases you become your own worst enemies you just it's like you just refuse to learn it's like you it's like you stay stuck in fantasy world and you just refuse to learn you you kind of like it kind of like reminds me of the hypnotic state that um religious people get into and i'm a pastor so no no slant on religion but i do have a problem with broken religion religious people believe that they can just pray about something feel something and things are going to change and like there's no personal responsibility but when you read the word of god you find that god does his part and then you have to do your part and so you have religious people that constantly praying about stuff a decade after decade after decade after decade that never changes because they never really learned the lesson they just keep taking the class and flunking the test and so when i look at women i kind of i kind of see the same thing you keep going through the same stuff your mama went through this your grandma went through this you go through the same stuff generation after generation after generation and you never learn it's like you stuck in this toxic hope of some kind that um people that people who are who they are are going to change or that you can change them okay let me jump right in things women must learn sooner than later um okay here we go number one [Applause] you got to give greater attention to your money you must as a woman in a world that is filled with feminine men who don't in a lot of cases even have a desire to provide and protect as a woman take a more serious approach to your money i'm tired of seeing women who look like a million i mean you look like a million you have the wardrobe you have the nails you have the the mink lashes you have all of this stuff and you're broke you look like a million you out in the mall shopping like you got like you got a wealthy husband at home that's giving you the credit cards and you can just go and splurge and don't even have to worry about it at the end of the day you're the one that's trying to you know piece stuff together for for your rent for car notes for house notes for children's tuition and all of this kind of stuff and but you look like a million and yet you're broke and you it's like you don't have a clue that you are all you got you you don't you don't have no man right now that you know just takes care of you just carte blanche do whatever you want to do you are all you have and you around here try you still trying to impress people you impress people through your 20s you impress people through your 30s now you're in your 40s and you in your 50s in your 60s and you still around here spending all of your resources up on stuff that really has no value you you should have learned this lesson before now that you are going to have to take care of you at the end of the month bay it don't matter what your closet looks like it's going to matter what your bank accounts look like when a woman does not take care of her finances personally she is often compromised because she has a need for security one of the greatest needs you have as a woman is security now religious people want to get overly spiritual well you know god is my security he's mine too but i'm not all spiritual and when i have bills to pay and i have natural needs i have to see i have to be able to put my hands on financial resources and as a woman security is very high on your list of needs when you squander your financial resources as a woman you are playing with yourself i love to see i really do i love to see women well dressed i love to see women where you know i love fashion and all of that i love it i love it i love it i love it i love to see a woman in in a beautiful pair of red bottoms or or some chanel chanel bag and all of the hair and all of the other stuff i love all of that that's you know i love it but babe there's a time in the season the bible says to do everything and some of you all out here in these malls and it ain't your season to be in the mall this is the lesson you should have been learned how many times are you gonna have to watch this when you do not have financial resources here's one of the horrible things that happens you many times compromise your values and your principles for men that can simply provide a few dollars here and there you get stuck in relationships for for money when the lord enabled you to be independent financially but you chose to take all of your good resources and squander them on style rather than constructing substance who's going somebody's got to tell you somebody's got to tell you maybe i'm just the one that has to tell you that that is unwise that that's that's a path listen to what the bible says in ecclesiastes uh 7-12 he says for wisdom is a defense and money is a defense money is a what it is a defense in other words money will protect you from certain things and what i teach in this book is every woman should position herself to be financially independent even if you have a great husband you should be a woman that's in a position where any day that you need to step to the plate to take care of yourself financially you are well able this is the wrong day for a woman just to sit around and just be cute and don't have any financial wisdom or structure or strategy and just say well my man gonna take care of me um so the woman that has learned her lesson she learns to what she learns to make money she learns to make money she learns to manage money and she learns to multiply money don't don't put a fifty dollar hat on the ten cent head you need to learn to make money you need to learn as a woman to manage money meaning what the the driver in managing money is learn to live your life on a budget and then you need to learn to multiply money you need to learn the languages of money you need to learn the strategies of how to take uh you know a thousand dollars and turn it into a hundred thousand you need to learn strategies real estate stock markets you need to learn strategies to multiply money don't be a woman that's just sitting out here and playing with your money because when you play with your money you play with yourself these are lessons that you should have been learned okay all right let me give you this let me try to hurry through this um okay now buckle up buckle up you gotta learn as a woman listen to this now this is definitely well young women you need to hear this younger women you need to hear this but those of you ladies who are um upwards of 30 35 you need to hear this you got to hear this now this is straight from my heart and it's it's it's god knows it's stone cold truth you got to hear this you got to learn to age but not get old there's a difference between aging versus getting old too many women get old and i when i when i say that i'm not talking about you know you can't you can't pin old on a date on a calendar or a certain year because i see some 30-year old women see aging is is a biological reality you you can't aging is a blessing the alternative to aging is dying early none of us want that we all want to age but old is a state of mind and we have too many women that are old in your minds you have you have believed you have dr you have drank the kool-aid that the world has served you and the world tells you that beyond 28 years old i understand now that you you you've hit the wall you you over the hill uh that's what they tell me they're saying 28 years old that's a baby 30 35 that's a baby 40 you really and you'll be honest with you are you in your prime and at 40 to be quite honest with you as a woman but the thing that makes the difference is that you have to know the difference between aging versus getting old getting old happens in your mind just because you age does not mean you have to get old and how do we know you've gotten old it's when you clearly have given up on life you walking out in the street looking any kind of way you're not taking care of yourself you just letting yourself go you eating everything that you can put your eyes on you have no more concern with you know your your health or your nothing you just you just you just you've gotten old and that happens between your ears that see some of you have never heard this there's a difference between aging and getting old if you can just sit around your house from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep again and look the same way you look once you got up in the morning and change nothing you are you are getting old babe you're old in your mind okay okay see but you you you drank the kool-aid well the world tells you that at a certain age you old anyway so once you get to that age you just give up you don't care nothing about your weight no more you don't care nothing about your wardrobe you don't care nothing about your hygiene you don't care nothing about dreams and visions the world says well i'm over the hill anyway so i'm just gonna give up you not aging babe you you you get old and you're wondering why you can't attract a certain kind of man it's it's not because of how what your age is on the calendar they got a whole lot of women at a certain age that don't look at you know anybody really concerned that much about the calendar but the kind of man you're looking for is concerned about the mindset are you going to be the kind of woman that's going to really represent this man and see a man doesn't mind a woman agent but a certain kind of man he doesn't want a woman getting old on him you know my mother is 79 years old listen to what i'm saying i wish i had a picture of mom my mother is 79 years old and my mother has all of my life i'm 56 she has meticulously taken care of herself i cannot tell you a time that i literally i cannot tell you a time that i remember seeing my mama just looking any kind of way and at 79 years old my mother still gets up she exercises she drives she takes care of her own money she goes and shops she she likes to you know keep up with her her fashion the way she likes it my mother always takes care of herself she and my brother went to vote the other day she's 79 years old they went to vote the other day and the people were the the people asked her would she step aside so that they could let some of the elderly through and some of the people they were letting through were younger than my mom because there's a difference between aging and getting old and see as a woman you got to understand this don't let anybody back you in a corner and make you feel like because you were born a certain year that you over the hill and then in your mind you give up on life you don't you don't get old until listen to what the bible says in psalms 92 and 13 13 and 14 those that be planted in the house of the lord shall flourish in the courts of our god they shall still watch this bring forth fruit in old age as they're aging they will still be fruitful they shall be fat and flourishing you cannot get old in your mind now how do we how do we facilitate this letter a under this point i guess this is point number two age but don't get old keep a vision for your life this is how you this is how you prevent yourself from getting old you can age and still see youthfulness youthfulness really to be honest with you is not a is not a date or a block of time on a calendar youthfulness is a mindset old is a mindset you have some people that are 65 70 years old who are more youthful than people who are 35. and you have people who are 35 who are older than people who are 65 it's because a part of your maintaining your youthfulness and not getting old is maintaining a vision for your life never getting to the point that you check out on life i don't care what you've gone through listen to what i'm saying the world will beat you up the world will traumatize you the world will break you the world will do all sorts of things to you as a woman that's just the sick and perverted world we live in but you can never let that trauma rob you of your vision as a woman the bible says in proverbs 29 and 18 where there's no vision the people perish you don't start perishing until you cannot see a glimpse of a preferred future as a woman you've got to see this is this is what i try to get uh people women to understand that are so obsessed with a man i want a man i want a man i want a man and i back you in the corner and ask you what's your money looking like well my credit bad my bills backed up and i'm broke but i want a man i want a man okay what's your vision uh i don't really have a vision right now but i want a man there's some things that are more important than i want a man right now your individuality is on trial and if you if you're not an individual you do not qualify to be coupled with anybody so age but don't get old some of y'all need to go to that closet and take all that stuff you got up in there and dismiss it it's ridiculous it's ridiculous some of this stuff you wearing you you know you've given up go and go and get your stylist somebody that can put you together make sure that you dressing for your body type but put yourself together see your dress code while while most people use it to try to impress others your dress code is really to impress you your dress code is about making you feel good about yourself but back to my point how do we how do you how do you navigate aging without getting old keep a vision for your life let it be take intentional care of yourself be intentional about caring for yourself from your health if you look in the mirror don't let anybody ever tell you listen listen to what i'm saying don't ever let anybody tell you were you fat you overweight don't nobody know how much how much you weigh that that ain't nobody's business how much you weigh no no that ain't nobody's business if if you look in the mirror and you're not happy with yourself you are supposed to make those changes for you not for anybody else you don't see like my weight has gone up and down in my life i you know and right now i'm on this thing where i'm walking and i'm trying to lose this weight but i'm trying to lose this weight for me i don't care what nobody think about what they say about me i really don't care my my my deal is internal and as a woman it's even more important for you to have a real serious conversation with yourself about how you've let yourself go and how letting yourself go has just you know that somehow you're over the hill listen to what the bible says and rel in reference to taking intentional care of yourself listen to what the bible says in psalms 92 13 and 14 says those that be planted in the house of the lord shall flourish in the quote i'm i'm sorry i'm in the wrong place i regret the wrong thing actually i'm looking for i i didn't write the scripture down but in proverbs the proverbs 33 woman the bible says of that woman that she took care of she takes read it when you get a chance proverbs 33 she took care of her family she took care of her husband she took care of her employees she took care of the poor but then the bible says something very specific i can't believe i didn't write the actual text down the bible says um she made for herself coverings of tapestry she made for herself in other words while this woman had all of this other stuff going on she had taken care of children taking care of the husband taking care of poor taking care of employees she had self-care time one of the ways you age without getting old is making certain that you do certain things for yourself and then you got a letter c you got to keep your mind current and positive you cannot have a negative mind you cannot be a woman that's given to a whole lot of gossip and negativity you cannot be a woman that that's always thinking the worst you need your mind renewed you need to listen to people that build you up stop stop plugging in the people that pull you down and drag you down you need to plug in the folk that lifts you up and make you feel good about yourself because a part of your maintaining your youthfulness is keeping your mind current and positive listen to what the bible says in proverbs 17 22 it says a merry heart doeth good like a medicine but a broken spirit dries the bones in other words when your heart is positive it it it revitalizes and renews and restores you but when you have a broken spirit it dries you up like a prune in the sun all right um number three you got to work on your emotional health you got you should have learned this you need you need to get your money together you need to you need to learn that there's a difference between aging versus getting old and stop lamenting the fact that you had another birthday am i i'm depressed because it's my birthday well would you rather it you you know you not have made it to your birthday come on now stop lamenting the fact that you had a birthday aging without getting old now number three work on your emotional health you've been an emotional wreck too long you you've been an emotional wreck too long you've been putting people that love you through hades hell for too long because you are emotionally all over the place you should have been sought out a counsel or therapist or somebody to help you process your issues i understand that you your daddy wasn't there you ain't the first woman who's dead it wasn't now i understand that the man walked out then the next man walked out then the next man you ain't you ain't the only woman who's who's had men to abandon her you got to get yourself together emotionally because as a woman thinketh so she is nobody's responsible for getting your emotional life together but you you sitting there with a bucket of ice cream looking at me with all the drapes drawn in the same clothes you woke up in this morning and you all over the place have you not paid attention to the fact that while you're having this pity party you're the only one that's attending that getting a grip on yourself emotionally is about your personal quality of life and that you can only for so long sit around and and just you know carry this wet blanket and sit around feeling sorry for yourself check yourself when you find yourself getting out of balance emotionally check yourself because a woman without emotional control listen to this statement very very carefully a woman who is without emotional control will be managed quite honestly that's how these these predators seek you out men uh that have ill intention search for women who are emotionally broken and needy and then they position themselves in your life and then they learn how to dig in even deeper and fertilize though those emotional roots that that dysfunction within you and they feed on you and while they're feeding on you you don't know how to let them go because a woman without emotional control will be will be managed you can't afford to be a woman today that's emotionally out of control because as a woman walking around the world today it's like it's like a soldier on a battlefield you can't afford to you know be all over the place emotional running around crying no no you ain't got time to cry you got to pay attention because bombs are dropping everywhere you got enemies everywhere you got fire coming from all directions you got to be about your wits a woman without emotional control will be managed listen to what proverbs 25 and 28 in the message bible says a person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out you can't remedy trauma with more trauma if you don't have control if you don't have self-control you're like a house with its doors and windows knocked out and what what does that mean it means that you have predators that can move in and out of your life at will because you have you have no boundaries when you when you are emotionally out of sync out of control you have no boundaries no barriers so the wrong people keep coming in and out of your life creating what more trauma and when you are not in control emotionally you're always searching for balance from someone or something on the outside no no balance has to start on the inside how do you get emotional control well i think you have to do a few things i think number one you have to admit to yourself i'm i'm out i'm out of control number two you have to go and find somebody that can help you process your history see because all of these emotional issues that we all have we all have these issues these things stem from something in our history and in most cases we don't even know exactly what it is sometimes we think we know but in most cases the root is actually deeper than the thing we thought it was so we that's why we need counselors and we need therapists and then we got to do the work and then in the meantime you got to hold yourself accountable that when your emotions flare up and go all out of you know you got to learn how to reel yourself back in you got to know when you're going on an emotional trip that's leading you nowhere and it's your responsibility to harness that and pull yourself back into order it's your responsibility not to have breakdowns in public where where you know the the eyes of predators can see you and then pounce upon you it's your job and then watch this number four is this four here's another lesson hope i don't get no trouble tonight here's another lesson that you should have learned but i'm gonna teach you tonight you got to manage listen to me you got to manage this masculine energy you got now now listen and i'm not saying that a woman having masculine energy is is necessarily a bad thing because i believe you know masculine energy basically is just that energy that says okay i got it let me let me handle it i got it and i think kings are attracted to queens who have that kind of energy that she she has the aptitude and the wherewithal to say i got it let me handle it you know i'll take care of this i think kings are attracted to that but at the same time kings are not attracted to queens who don't know how to who don't know when to exercise that kind of energy and don't know how to re relinquish it and let the king be the king see now there's a reason you have this out of balance dysfunctional masculine energy as a man and and you know dudes don't like to hear me say this but it boils down to the father wound where the father wasn't president so because the father wasn't present active in the home the daughter grew up you know without the guidance of a father but more importantly the son never learned how to be a man so now the son grows up and he he's he's a grown man age but emotionally he's still a toddler and so he develops these relationships that he forfeits on because mama raised the son and now the son got female feminine energy he doesn't want to take responsibility for nothing he want to be kept he want a woman to take care of him uh the daughters watched mama do everything mama was the boss mama was the protector mama was the provider so now the daughter is raised up with masculine energy the sun is raised up with feminine energy and now they go off into the world and so now she's trying relationships but in most cases the men fail they don't want to work they don't want to take care they don't want to provide they don't want to lead they don't want to be faithful they don't want to provide an environment where her feminine nature which is a nature to what just relax and trust and allow the man to be the man you've been conditioned by broken men to not trust the process and so all you've ever known is i got to do it i got to do it i got to do it well it's great that god has graced you to be able to do it because a lot of cases men are not present to do it but but you've got to know when to shift hats especially if if you get a man in your life that has the the you know just the semblance of a king you you can't approach that relationship with masculine energy you're going to destroy it so it means that you have to stop and process you know you you okay let me show you how this works you know the man driving you he's trying to get out the car to come around open the door you jumped out the car and all this kind of thing the man trying to open the door for you walking ahead of the man you open the door for yourself and all of this kind of thing here you know walking all ahead of the man walking all fast you got you got to learn how to pay attention to that behavior identify for what it is now it's it's it's cool to have that masculine energy to a certain extent in corporate america to a certain extent it's cool to have it you know if you got your own business when you got a call shots that's cool but when you leave when you leave that job and if you're trying to embrace a relationship with a real man you gotta learn how to chill you you gotta learn how to chill and and i'm afraid that more than a few women have run off good men because kings are not attracted to a woman that's masculine all the time a king needs a woman that knows how to step in if she needs to but for the most part he needs a woman that knows how to fall back into that feminine energy and let him be the man don't tell him i hear something in the backyard and then you running you know you you you got the bat you out in the yard left a man come on what's up with this here see and and this speaks to knowing how to bring your strong takeover personality under control when necessary that's all i'm saying i'm not saying that you need to lose that part of you that has made you successful no it serves you it serves you it definitely serves you but you got to learn how to take that hat off sometime and put on put on your feminine because it's in there you got to learn how to put on your feminine especially when you're trying to embrace a relationship listen to what the bible says in matthew 5 and 5 says blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth why did i read that text because he uses the term meek and you know what the term meek speaks of it does not speak too weak a meek person is one who is strong but learns how to temper that strength in certain moments and as a woman you're going to have to learn how to temper that masculine strength that the world has forced you to develop and allow your feminine to come forth practice being feminine all right number five you gotta know when you are making choices and i'm done you you should have learned this long ago you got to know when you are making choices with your flesh you got to know you got to know when you are making choices with your flesh at least i need this phone number bae you got to know when you are making choices with your flesh you have made especially relational choices you have made choice after chance have to char with your flesh a lot of you have never even graduated to making relational decisions cognitively with your intellect and most of you know nothing about making relational choices with your spirit where you're directed and you're discerning you're directed by the holy spirit and you're discerning a person most of you keep making the same mistake of choosing men with your flesh if he looked good if he look who he find we find they got more fine demons than you can shake a stick at and you keep picking up bringing them home because you have not learned you got to know when you are making choices with your flesh right now some of you are considering people and when you really stop and pray about this and think about it you are driven by nothing but your flesh you haven't prayed you haven't thought you are driven by nothing but your flesh galatians 6 is my wife somewhere can you hear me lisa in galatians 6 7 and 8 says be not deceived god is not mocked for whatsoever man soweth that shall he also reap for he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption but he that soweth to the spirit shall of the spirit reap life everlasting if you keep sowing to your flesh you're going to keep getting a flesh harvest i was trying to get lisa to give me the phone number so i could take a couple of calls would you uh lee would you put it on the screen uh i don't know if you can i don't know if you can pin it but give me the number leaf you can i have i have a phone that um i use for my prayer time and i just want to i want to just take a couple of calls just to see what you all see what y'all think about what we're talking about tonight uh what is what is the number lee hold on one second y'all be patient yo uh somebody said you two fine i get skeptical don't be judging people now but make certain yeah you but you should be you should pause okay let's see hello hi um i'm calling in from real life all right and where are you calling from um oh you calling from my hometown well look what do you think about what we're talking about um everything is really informative as far as things that i should have probably known in my early 20s that you're telling me now my early 30s and i mean it's just like a mind opener on how the connection broke you still that dear she was saying something good too are you still there are you still that dear [Music] hello can you hear me sweetheart yes okay okay now what were you saying i was just saying how i'm listening to you even with the starting with the father daughter talk um just in my early 30s just hearing everything now i just really wish somebody would have set me down even in my late teens and early 20s and just told me all of these things well i've been as far as with the one uh-huh no no go ahead go ahead i'm listening to you with the women with the masculinity like i i myself were that wrote and i know so many women like friends family members because we didn't have that male figure in our lives growing up and there's some things that like and i mean it's embarrassing to say now but i'm going to say like i remember i was dating a guy and i was getting out to pump my own gas while he said in my car so just things like that that you don't think about danny you're thinking about now like wow like yeah and yeah and i'm glad that you're hearing this and i'm glad that you're receiving it and taking it to heart because this is how you have to live your life as a woman you have to live from a position of wisdom and so thank you for calling me and i'm i'm so glad to be able to talk with you sweetheart thank you for calling me thank you god bless you hello hello let's see hello yes who am i speaking with my name is tammy where you calling from tammy from detroit michigan detroit okay what do you think about what we're talking about tonight i feel like he was just talking to me because this me okay i went out with my um dentures we went on a date you know when he came and got me i let him open the door for me but when we got to the restaurant i got out he was like and then he was looking at me like i was crazy so i was like man i'm sorry then when we left the restaurant he walked ahead of me that way i won't open up the door it's like every time like my i go to therapy and my transportation they come pick me up and it's like this kid i just kind of opened the door for me and i'll walk around to it i'm like i got it that's all right i got it but i need to let them do it that's exactly right that's exactly right for myself well it's great that you can do it for yourself but if you're going to be in the dating world you don't want a feminine man that will let you do it a real man is not comfortable with letting you do certain things and that's that's the main thing i'm not saying to women that you need to relinquish your independence or your strength but i am saying learn how to shift gears thank you for calling me sweetheart god bless you hello pastor blake yes yes who am i talking to where are you calling from hi good evening i'm calling from southern california southern california my god my kind of weather what do you think about our conversation tonight oh my goodness well it's definitely wonderful and just a constant reminder of how when we start to fall and slip away from where we're supposed to be out the holy spirit can gently nudge us back into place yeah well yeah i pray that that's what the conversation is doing for you thank you so much for calling all right thank you for giving awesome advice and um and just always being a good sort of constant stable force thank you very much thank you sweetheart god bless you god bless you bye-bye good evening good evening who am i speaking with maybe i'm not speaking with anybody good evening who am i speaking with oh my goodness hi my name is my name is um and i just go by him m where are you calling from m oh i'm coming from the dmv area of maryland awesome stuff what do you think about this conversation we're having tonight i think it's blessed i'm so thankful i was so shocked that i got through um i just wanted the opportunity to tell you um thank you um you're a huge blessing to my life you know wow and i been going through a whole lot for the past couple years actually had my husband abandoned me and i've been you know looking at a lot of videos and a lot of the coaches to try to get me through it and i'm really learning a lot um i had a lot of stuff missing in my youth um coming up and how to develop into a healthy minded female and it just means very much to me well let me say this before i let you go um when processing a a processing abandonment by a person that you we loved or depended on or believed would fulfill a lifelong covenant it's kind of like it's kind of like dealing with a death you have to you have to feel it you have to grieve it uh you have to you know accept it and then you have to lift your head up and you have to look into your future and chart your course as an individual again finding your vision and not not memorializing the pain of the abandonment you know not making that the centerpiece of your life but taking your personal vision and making that your focal point making that the centerpiece of your life and you will discover that the spirit of god will give you all of the energy you need to be able to move forward in your life and all you should take from that past experience are the lessons leave the pain in the shame take the lessons and it will it always makes you better and it always makes you stronger thank you for calling me tonight thank you thank you so much god bless you dear good evening who am i speaking with where are you calling from my name is mary lilton i'm calling from nashville tennessee nashville tennessee mary what do you think about this conversation we got going on tonight i tell you you are so on point i have like i started listening to you maybe like a year or two ago i said look at him where was he when i was going through all this stuff he's talking about you know wrote a book about him i'm trying to ask him okay i'm not supposed to tell this story about all this and there you are you're just putting it all out there in the limelight and i was like yes yes yes he's just 20 years too doggo late it's never too late it's never too late girl you you you the right age to live your best i life uh 57 years old yeah well you and um i don't care i'm i'm just listening i just haven't got the things you were talking about tonight i wrote them down in my little book here god grabbed me the serenity to accept things i cannot change the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference what did you i'm like he is think unemployed i'm always referring you to you every time i'm talking to someone or online on different platforms with uh different people doing minutes i said this is so so needed so good and i'm like that girl he's talking about that's me well it was me well you god he's still one point you you guys you're such a blessing i know you're in the phone somewhere lisa somewhere around here in the house thank you for calling me mary yes and i will continue to keep on looking and as god blesses me and continue on i'd love to get those books and teach that at my church absolutely email us and maybe you and lisa can talk about that i'd love for it to happen thank you so much for all your work and for your service and god bless you god bless you dear good evening where am i speaking with where you calling from uh kansas city missouri wow what do you think about this conversation we're having tonight i think it is oh god on point very informative i should have had this information 30 years ago and everything you said i'm looking at me in the mirror i'm that woman that strong and always uh feeling i had to do it i feel i needed to do it and i would allow the door opening and things like that but i lost my parents at a very young age my mom at 13 my dad yeah um you know and so i had to do it and so it's kind of hard to relinquish and when you made the statement that some of you women have ran off good men are good husbands and i think i may have with that strong personality he's a very good person and maybe because i was just i mean when you do just listening to you tonight made me really reflect and i'm thinking like wow and it got me really really thinking because my husband actually has asked for divorce and i'm trying to figure out like why but listening to you i'm like well maybe that's it i don't know i think you all probably may need to consider um counseling and you know the the biggest thing is most women today have been uh abandoned physically or emotionally by men which which is the reason women have developed um this dysfunctional strength this this dysfunctional man-like strength is because it's it's been developed out of necessity like you telling us about your life it's been by necessity and god has graced you to be as strong that you might survive the the men and the men in your life or in the lives of women like you will have to be deep enough to discern your uh pain you know because i'm married to a woman that still struggles with masculine energy you know she's still struggling i mean she in the house she still struggles with masculine energy taking over and you know we're walking she walking out in front men all this kind of thing and i have to pull her back in sometimes she's jumping out the car she won't let me get around to come and open the door for but i understood i understood that she developed that kind of strength out of necessity she was on her own as as a teenage girl because she was being molested at her home by her own father so all she had ever known in life was that men were not dependable men were dangerous and that all i have is me but god gave me the grace to see deeper than the surface and so it's going to require it's going to require men that are spiritual in a sense and men that are discerning to be able to see you for who you really are and to have the depth to be able to minister to you because it's not that it's not it is not the will of god that you lose your strength i believe that that strength in you is the queen in you but it's coming to the place where you're able to temper it and and and use it accordingly especially in the flow of relationships thank you so much for calling me it's been good talking with you all right thank you god bless you dear god bless you bye-bye good evening hey yes where are you calling from [Music] maryland marilyn what do you think about this conversation we're having tonight i think it's phenomenal you're always on point though so i bless god for you i really do thank god that you know you're a man of integrity and that you are sharing and you are helping women thank you thank you thank you thank you so now where do you fit in the scheme of what we discussed tonight um i am kind of just hoping that one day i'll be able to get strong enough and my ability as a woman to you know make decisions in relationships where i am taking control of my of me you know like taking kicking me taking me first i got you i got you yeah i got you i'm 50 51 going on 52 and still listening you know of relationships where i am allowing men to you know put me through things that i shouldn't be going through and i just i can't wait till i'm strong enough to handle everything absolutely and i believe that i believe that being able to say it is is a massive move forward being able to admit it number one being able to see it number two being able to recognize that it's dysfunctional number three being able to admit it and say it i believe now you're in a position where uh you're going to begin to see rapid progression in terms of your um personal strength and and and your ability to to value you um without um the attachment to anyone else or anyone else to you being able to value you and being able to appreciate you as a whole and complete uh an entire value individually that even if even if choosing me means that uh i will be alone i'm good with being alone you know you know what i'm saying because usually we compromise ourselves when we fear that people will leave we fear that people will leave because we feel that their presence produces a certain value in us which is never true no no individual can come into your life and produce value in terms of what you're worth they can bring their value and add their value to yours and then together we can create something new but i am who i am before i ever met you before you ever met me so i don't want to start preaching here but i i thank you for calling me and sharing sharing your heart and i just want to say this as well and i thank you too and thank you to your wife lisa you know for being just kind and letting you be around for women i also want to tell you that you uh sent me your story i'm the one who wrote the um writing before finishing i finished it um so drop out to masters and your story's in there as a team parent so wow wow thank you for calling me wow thank you very welcome nice to talk to you we will talk soon pleasure is mine thank you sweetheart bye-bye well i think this is a format that will work for us i i kind of enjoyed talking with you all and i hope you got something out of this now i know we could be talking for the next six hours i already know that but i i got to go to bed i love you all but i'm i promise you i'm going to do it again um listen i need you all to go december 5th and 6th we're having uh the second part of queenology 2.0 the training for reigning and it's happening december 5th and 6th registration is open now it's going to be cyber and i need i need y'all to blow that registration out of the water for me you're going to start hearing a lot about it because you know we're down to the wire now about five six weeks out and i want to make certain that it is a massive success that's going to be my last thing for 2020 but i need you all to help me to make it a massive success i think registration is just 59 or something like that but i need you to go to rcblax.com and register for queenology 2.0 the second part and we're going to be dealing some of the stuff that we talked about tonight is some of the stuff we're going to be dealing with uh how how to how to balance that feminine uh energy um you know some of the same stuff we're talking about tonight is going to be two days three sessions on saturday three sessions on sunday uh totaling you know about four hours of of content each day so i need you to go to rcblakes.com and and register for that thanks to all of you that sold into my life tonight uh i need you all we almost got a thousand or we do have a thousand likes praise the lord praise the lord god bless y'all i appreciate you uh don't forget to stop by amazon pick up my books online programs you know my online programs i was talking to someone from another part of the world and they want my online programs and they were talking about how i'm how they can't believe i'm giving them away you know my my online programs are basically i'm basically giving them away at 49 literally you know i want you all to go in you know that transcending the father wound it will help a lot of you who whose fathers were not present soul ties those of you that are in these bogus relationships queenology queenology 2.0 um wisdom for women in ministry those of you that are preaching women these things can really really really really help you uh so don't you know don't sleep on it rcblakes.com they're extremely affordable i'm giving them away people take those kinds of programs and they sell them for twelve thirteen hundred dollars mine and i put it where everybody can actually attain it so i love you all i'm out for tonight and i will be back and we'll do this again i can see that you all really like this and i think i enjoyed it more than anybody uh let me take one more before i go good evening good evening yes where are you calling from new jersey new jersey what do you think about our conversation i am very happy to make your acquaintance i bet you're more excited to speak to you what do you think about our conversation tonight and your beautiful wife you're both such great examples and um i just want to say something when i was six years old my mother was very you know tough and masculine the culture had became that way where they can do anything i know exactly what you're talking about and you know what yes we have to be strong and we and we have to be educated and we have to learn how to manage our money and we need to put some away but at the same time we have to find that it's okay to put that down when it's time to be a woman you have to be a whole woman it's okay to be feminine absolutely you don't have to be ashamed of that absolutely absolutely i'm so glad that you called me i've been listening to you for a long time now and i let me tell you you are a great person besides being a pastor you're a great person that you chose to help women the way that you do it is excellent and you're so intelligent and the holy spirit has filled you with wisdom wow and lisa is the most luckiest woman in the world i think uh i think i'm more more blessed that i found her lisa actually yeah she pulls my whole life together magic she pulls my whole life together thank you for calling me it's been a joy of speaking with you tonight god bless you god god bless you sweetheart good night okay all right my babies i love you all i have a great night uh man this sunday night thing might be our thing i appreciate you all this might be our thing on sunday nights god bless you uh don't forget to all the things i just talked about and all the stuff i didn't think to talk about i love y'all and i'll talk to you real soon hopefully i'll talk to you again this week before this week is over god bless you have a great night

Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

Views: 100,306

Keywords: Dating Advice, Relationships, Christian, Narcissist, R.C. BLAKES

Id: emMX6kWyvzE

Length: 66min 34sec (3994 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 25 2020