D&D Players of Reddit; what's your funniest adventure story? #1 (r/askreddit)

this one sounds like it's gonna be a big barrel of laughs huh D&D Player's of Reddit what's your funniest adventure story part one we were fighting a friend's homebrew Pathfinder boss and it was thrashing our party we were all almost dead and it was grappling me the healer I was playing a race that had a natural 1.d4 bite attack in desperation as it was about to grapple me to death its turn was right after mine I bid it my stats meant I was never going to out grapple it and I'd already tried and failed twice to break free so my bid it met its AC and rolled a four for damage this was just enough damage to kill it and watching the GM's face fall when I successfully hit it then got the one in for roll I needed to save my life and probably everyone else's was magical he went from barely restrained cackling glee to just a hoe I was DMing for a group of girls from my high school so these ladies are flying on their airship to inform the family of the previous captain that he's dead I roll up a random encounter to Hippogriff starts stabbing at their balloon three natural 20s later the hippogriffs are trapped in a fishnet and all tied up the group proceeds to spend the next eight hours negotiating with salesman and town leaders trying to found a Hippogriff sanctuary they did not roll quite as well during this process and eventually the hippogriffs were sold in exchange for a powerful magic amulet unfortunately the guy they sold them to was the Beastmaster that had killed the captain he was in disguise and preparing to unleash his beasts upon them they were very upset when their pets returned wearing demon armor and guiding the forces of Asmodeus out of the plains of hell I ran a game where I mistakenly allowed one of my players to play a changeling here old high charisma he intimidated the villainous Lord of the first major city the party then successfully bluffed the guard and had the real Lord imprisoned as an imposter they took over the city and my rescue mission campaign became a city management and politics in a group of friends found a DM on a bulletin board and decided to give his campaign a shot this DM also decided to play a hero character that was apparently a super badass it became very apparent that we were all there just to support his power character fantasy oh did you say funny I thought you meant horribly sad RDM punished us with monstrous cleaning constructs for breaking into the service corridors of an abandoned possibly cursed building my monk gained a Warhammer made of basically an enchanted industrial vacuum cleaner which on the end of his quarter staff being a complete D&D Knab at the time I kept referring to myself as the steampunk monk oh I love that much to the annoyance of our DM and pleasure of the narrator reading this story when she pointed out in this particular game none of the NPC's knew what steampunk was I went back to my character's old name comma wielder of the attack you I had to roll one d-10 every attack and if I got a critical fail the arcane construct came loose and would be treated as a one-off projectile attack the tea flings were trying to catch the little arcane construct they saw earlier and were calling it Roomba son oh I love it we don't know what the rogue planned to do with the room but bear trap combo but he was enjoying himself immensely Don bought a Roomba son was a staple of every subsequent session as was how much anakin skywalker hates sand we were escorting a merchant caravan across the desert eventually I quit D&D because I felt embarrassed when my friends were making albeit non-malicious jokes at my expense so I had a brief chat with our DM about killing me off this resulted in our new Sawbones cleric firing me out of a trebuchet onto the back of a mid-flight dragon and using fangs of the fire snake until so much damage was caused the dragon was forced to land I was then promptly eaten to this day saw bone still carries my skull around and talks to me like I'm still there trying to invoke my ghost into taking part in his chaotic shenanigans might see if my old DM lets me take part in a session and play as my ghost I've still got an audio recording of characters deaths where which I listen to for shits and giggles my first time playing D&D I got nearly the entire party killed in the first five minutes we started off in a generic tavern as a bunch of young adventurers ready to make their way in the world mine was a dumb as dirt half work barbarian by the name of Hakka we decide to head out and look for work before we head out however the chaotic drew and all too eager to try his hand at combat suggests starting a bar fight first upon hearing the word fight haka in his thirst for blood rages draws his blade and buries it in the gut of the bartender the rogue in an attempt to stop things before they get out of hand grabs a chair and attempts to knock out the raging barbarian at this point things are going downhill fast the Rogues attempt results in a critical failure which ends up with him knocking himself out with the chair at this point the guards burst in alerted by the screaming patrons fleeing the tavern haka seeing the guards with their swords drawn immediately assumes they are threat he charges and is impaled on a number of pikes the fighter intrude decide to avenge their fallen comrade decide to attack the guards while the wizard too smart for that runs upstairs and attempts to jump out a bedroom window the druid and fighter are dispatched easily the wizard encounters a city sorcerer waiting for him outside the tavern the sorcerer having not fully read the rules of magic missle cast the spell and misses the party wizard does the same the sorcerer makes another attempt at magic missle and fails our wizard attempts to make a plunging attack with his spear and misses at this point the sorcerer is fed up with the whole thing and casts fireball the resultant AoE damage evaporates the wizard easily total casualties for the fight were all five party members and zero guards and one unlucky bartender that wasn't nearly getting the party killed that was flawlessly getting the party killed my dude or dudette our goal which was never achieved was to find the pink fountain of Floyd our bard sang this song a lot reach out your hand if your cup be empty if your cup is full may it be again let it be known there's a fountain that was not made by the hands of men now I was trying to make it more bard like but I tried group was fighting three earth elementals and were promptly getting thrashed because we split the party don't split the party and the other half was rushing over it became pretty clear that at the rate we were going we were gonna get wiped it was at this moment that our only wizard decided to grapple an earth elemental he rolled in at twenty to succeed and was successful in keeping the elemental in his grasp he proceeded to drag the elemental to the edge of a platform that bordered a lava river all the while the elemental was failing to free itself our rogue / Ranger decided to kick them both in rather than chance the elemental freeing themselves the wizard then was able to jump off the elemental and back onto the platform the rock elemental died and as he sank into the lava it just gave us a thumbs up legit the only reason why we survived that encounter we were exploring a dungeon and my less than good swashbuckler had taken a prisoner to help guide us through the dungeon seeing a rune over a doorway our wizard warned us that passing under it could be dangerous so we decided to use our prisoner to test for traps by toxic it through the door naturally that triggered the symbol of death our prisoner as a minion of the big bad evil guy was attuned to it alas I was not the image of throwing someone through this door just to fall dead myself as our prisoner slowly stood up and our wizard looked on going oh forgot to tell you that it has an area of effect my bad my players can be a little distracted all so oftentimes we will have little mini adventures separate from the main one sprinkled around these will be run in a separate universe with separate characters from the main game this gives the players a chance to let loose and do things which they wouldn't want to do with a main character they have invested real time in normally these adventures will be resolved in a single sitting either because the character is dying or because they get to a point where it's boring so we don't want to revisit it we often do this when we are missing a player as well that way we can have fun while not progressing the main game without them anyway the players had just created their characters and I had introduced them to a town the party was supposed to be neutral good but the nature of these games means that matters less than you would think so they are in the town and they head to the stables to rent a horse fairly standard stuff they are talking to the owner of the stables and he says something that apparently offends the Barbarian of the group who promptly attacks him the proprietor being a commoner is promptly knocked unconscious the Barbarian declares his intention to finish killing the man and the other players agree he hits the man on the head and he dies I feel he should be punished for doing something so against his alignment so I send the guards to the stables the party proceeds to fight the city guards but more keep coming they are still relatively low level so the guards eventually manage to knock one player unconscious and critically wounded our Burien the third party member is still fighting but is quickly losing ground the Barbarian begins to crawl over to the downed Party member then attempts to cannibalize him an attempt to regain hit point this is a the player of the downed character objects to this and the players argue amongst themselves for a bit I warned the Barbarian that there is a chance he will catch a disease if he does but he is adamant in his decision I whip up a quick table to determine if he catches a disease or not he rolls and it turns out he got him Oh from drinking the corpse blood this is despite the character he is eating not having AIDS previously this of course does not restore any of his HP he decides that this means he has not gotten enough yet so he attempts to eat him again this sparks another argument as it would push the characters hit points into instability yet again he is adamant he rolls the dice and kiss AIDS again I declare that this means he has Double A this is ridiculous around this point the third party member is finally taken out by the guard and the entire party is killed all in a pretty pointless session however since that day getting double aids has been both an in-joke within the group and something they hold above the barbarians head as well as mine if they think on being ridiculous and our term for rocks fall everyone dies style situations we were heading into an epic battle with the most powerful and terrifying villain in the game world he was immortal and had been referenced in several campaigns but this time he was the main baddie dudes a bard and has a drum playing a tune that has raised a massive army of the undead we have our own smaller army and looked like we were Alchemist throws Alchemist fire not at the villain but at his drum entire undead army collapses villain looks right at him and says you are a terrible person I wanted to introduce my friends who were new to D&D to unconventional RPG stuff like running instead of staying until you died or sneaking we played goofy and have fun so not super serious anyway I put a dragon in a room they had to pass through so they could sneak or just run it was a Wizards patch so they should have been fine one guy was like I'm gonna try and talk to it and I was like okay not what I expected but he wasn't trying to kill it at least so he strikes up a conversation with this dragon and everyone else is sneaking by I shouldn't mention he's a dragon born fighter a couple of back-to-back critical skill checks and he's smoking a cigarette after a romantic encounter with a dragon there once was a known bard that loved the ladies a bit too much she convinced a dwarven princess that they were destined to be together so they could sleep together before heading out of town the Dwarven princess sent letters but the bard never respond him and eventually the dwarf became obsessed she summoned the god arrows to terrorize a town and took a potion of gigantism when the bard said it was over and the party had to fight a two-story tall emotionally unstable dwarf I'm gonna warn you ahead of time I'm gonna butcher these so please don't kill me I had an Ithorian Noble that started a cult based on being more like an authorial and less like a gomorian it was successful many self-help books were sold I started my own Sea Org with a giant capital ship I bought from the proceeds and a little help from my mother and also ended up running a smuggling outfit nestled inside an asteroid howdy folks Brian here so I have two little announcements one pertaining to the channel one pertaining to yours truly the first is that we're changing things up behind the scenes due to scheduling issues life gets in the way and life should always come first to that end we've recruited a new potential DM for our future dandy streams Ripper and Dave will likely have more to say on that in the future but for now that's your sneak peak from your pal Brian speaking of me I wanted to mention that I'm going to be dipping my toes into the world of streaming once more if you'd like to ever catch me live go ahead and follow me on Twitter or follow me on mixer the links going to be in the description below I may end up doing my own live recordings of stories like these so you might want to check that out if you're interested I'm also planning on showing you some behind the scenes of what a voice actor goes through talking about general voice actor stuff and of course playing some sweet-ass games so if you're interested I'll see you over there anyway I hope you enjoyed the video and we'll see you next time ladies and gentlemen until then be good be happy and always stay safe out there

Channel: MrRipper

Views: 104,310

Rating: 4.9592466 out of 5

Keywords: #DnDStories, #DnD, #DungeonsAndDragons, dnd stories, dungeons and dragons, ask reddit, dungeons & dragons, askreddit top posts, reddit stories, dnd, dnd 5e, dnd stories reddit, dungeon master, dnd campaigns, dm tips 5e, dungeons and dragons online, best of reddit, dungeons and dragons cartoon, dungeons & dragons florida edition, gm tips, role playing game, askreddit funny, d&d beyond, reddit funny

Id: w8IoVJz5mis

Length: 14min 46sec (886 seconds)

Published: Thu May 14 2020

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D&D Players of Reddit; what's your funniest adventure story?