Dads, When Did You Find Out You Were Not The Father?

serious fathers who found out their child is not theirs what happened afterwards i was accused of being an 11 year old's father the mother encouraged me to meet her she looked like me so i figured she was mine i got to know her and she was adorable the mother was encouraging me to sign a paper before the results came back and as much as i was convinced she was mine i wasn't going to sign my life away on a hunch a test came back negative i stopped being invited around in retrospect i think the plan was to get me to want to sign the paper i raised a child for two years thinking she was mine i didn't want kids before she was born but i loved every minute of being with that little girl the moment i split up and i ended up moving about two hours away but drove back every weekend to be with my daughter i was also paying 200 a week in child support then one monday after i got home from visiting her i was served court documents stating that the mother didn't think i was the father we did a paternity test and she was right i was not the father i had the option to continue to be in her life but i couldn't deal with it emotionally the court continued to make me pay child support while she tried to find out who the father was after the third guy she tested came back negative the judge decided i didn't have to pay child support anymore but could not get any of that money back twenty thousand dollars i'll never see again i fell into a really dark place personally and professionally it's been about a year and a half since this happened and i'm still not over it i have a lot of trust issues with people that i didn't have before i also regret leaving every day i miss that little girl a lot oh buddy i'm sorry i hope you find a place of peace ex-wife got mixed up with drugs had an affair and a baby we got divorced and she ended up on the streets with her newborn daughter cps took the child away and she's been with me for almost two years now adoption should be final next month the situation sucks but it's not the child's fault and she shouldn't have to suffer how wonderful that you were able to keep her it was a very strange but very eye-opening experience it wasn't malicious or anything simply that she thought i was the father while later coming to find the dr math wrong we were a summer fling and her ex and i were around at about the same time i took the role of father for her entire pregnancy and through his birth i took off time from school and drove the eight hour round trip between my university and hometown several times instead of studying or going to a party or taking care of my relationships like all the other college students around me my lovely girlfriend not the mother was more supporting than anyone could ask of her then 19 year old and i'll never be able to repay her for that immense amount of encouragement when i got the call to book it back home i drove way too fast and way too sleep deprived all the way while anticipating how my life was going to be forever altered with this life that was now my responsibility to nurture and teach timothy's birth was beyond emotional and i felt an insanely intense connection form with this only seconds old child his mother and i were on good terms and we just held him and cried he had some heart issues and was in the niku for a few days i held him for hours i was so deeply concerned for my son's well-being he was moments into his life and already had issues holding him back from the perfect world i was imagining for him i got an email about six weeks later with the results of the paternity test my mother insisted upon zero percent chance of being tim's father how do you deal with that the emotions had been established did i simply let them go i still haven't really figured it out i was furious that i was forced to grow up for no reason if that makes any sense regardless i had a strange mixture of grief lined relief and loss based sadness i feel better for the experience and hope to have a friend of the family type relationship with him one day however it's simply been dismissed from my mind for sanity's sake ro what a roller coaster of emotion i think one of the unsung heroes in this story is your girlfriend who at such a young age of 19 stuck by you through all this crap when 99.9 percent of people her age would nope the heck out of there i broke up with a girl after less than a year due to her loose morals a short time later she calls and says she's pregnant and because i had slept with her a few times after the breakup i believed her when she said it was mine couldn't convince her to abort accepted the fact i was having a kid talked with her into her mother about names and what would happen when it was born went through all the emotions and feelings of being a father for the first time fast forward to the due date hadn't heard from her at all got a call from a friend to say they saw her at the hospital a few days earlier called her ignored the anger i felt towards being left out of the birth went to her house the baby was asleep sat there for a while walked out not knowing how i felt about the situation fast forward again child is two years old bump into her at a store she asks about child support i see the cut i see the cut i see the cut i see the cut i say yes i'm happy to pay child support after a dna test more fast forwarding test comes back negative i remain humble and don't give her any grief about it few months later my friend calls and asks where i got the dna test from surprisingly we are all friends nowadays the daughter is six the father sees her occasionally i stop by every now and then with my kids for play dates small town well after my girlfriend committed suicide her family came to my house and i asked if i could keep the girls they hummed and hoared and said yes the next day they asked for a meeting with my family and we went and they said they are gonna take the girls which i had no idea i already had custody of them through something called loco parentis stepping in as a parent i'm from canada by the way after the funeral they took the girls which would actually be them kidnapping they said they would let the girls come and stay with me during spring break and summer break they were in bc and the law here states that if someone stays in a province for more than three months they are considered residents i picked them up within three months i also consulted a lawyer and she advised i get a parenting order kit and a guardianship with a kit so i did and filled them out i went and picked the girls up and filed them the only person i am fighting is the deadbeat dad who doesn't have a lawyer either and he is agreeing i keep the girls as well as long as he gets some visitation rights the lawyer told me the grandparents don't have a leg to stand on while they were there at the grandparent where they still have a couple adult children staying my girlfriend's sister sent me a text saying she got beat up by her brother and the girls witness it and that her mom just watched and also that the girls aren't safe there i kept this text and filed it with the court also when my girlfriend was texting me telling me she was gonna commit suicide she told me to keep the girls another text i kept and filed too i got letters from the school saying they were happy and in good health a letter from a lady that witnessed their well-being and how i am a good father this is all filed but frick yeah i am calling a dang lawyer tomorrow you guys scared me good i'm so sorry to hear about your late girlfriend the text should all be enough to woo the court in your favor to take them hopefully i dodged this one dated a young single mom once before i got married she had one daughter barely a year old we went out for a short period of time broke it off and then she emailed me out of the blue about six months later saying she gave birth to my son i said cool let's organize a dna test before we talk anymore about this never heard from her again i'm pretty sure she was pregnant at the time of us dating and then decided to pin it on me because i make good figures heck that may be the only reason why she went out with me for all i know como i said cool let's organize a dna test before we talk any more about this comment never heard from her again you would be a bad tv show writer this ridic question is all me short version girlfriend says she's pregnant i let her move in with me my daughter is born because of her past addictions i don't sign the birth certificate few months go by mom leaves daughter with her mom because of postpartum depression when actually it was a m addiction so i have to fight her parents in court for custody the state of kansas is on their side so they give me one day with my daughter next month i get two days act so i get up to five days a week full time in six months after about a year and a half her parents decide they want child support so the state does a swab test and i'm not the father my world fell apart about a year goes by and her biological father left the state her mother and i stay in touch and slowly get reintroduced to my daughter now she is six she calls me dad the only thing is the hoops i have to jump through to see her i have to give mom gas money i have to buy whatever she needs while with mom even though she still lives with grandma i have to kiss her but or else i'm threatened by not seeing her i'm not allowed to go to school functions no pta i only get to see her for a part of the weekend so it's good and bad she has a dad and is happy and that's all that really matters but i'm not around enough to do any parenting i'm just weekend dad trying to make her happy in the short time we get now she's six has her own mind and ideas and doesn't listen and doesn't take me serious has taken me years to recover not sure i actually have it has ruined other relationships that should have been amazing 28 now and happened when i was 21 most days i am fine but when i am in a bad mood the memories rear their ugly little heads and bring me down i haven't met anyone in person who i can even remotely relate with because of it my family supported me 100 of the way but it hits a man in the soul with such a primal force i don't wish it upon my enemies any woman who does this to a child and man should be ashamed the mental anguish can be horrible it really is a terrible thing to lie about i don't see how a woman could live with herself after doing that soul-searching i found out my three-year-old wasn't mine about a year ago when she was two i wound up leaving the mother of the child and for a time the child after a few weeks of being on my butt and in a horrible place i kind of realized it didn't matter what the biology said i stayed broken up with the mother but i took her to court for visitation now i have my daughter half the time and i've never once regretted it the most challenging thing has been my family's reaction several members of my family strongly disagree with my decision which has created friction but at the end of the day i respected their choices to be involved or not be involved it's hard to explain it to some people and i don't know how i'll explain it to my daughter when the time comes but i know i've had a positive influence on her and that i'm a good dad and more importantly that i want to be a dad it's just about the only thing i can truly say i'm good at the whole ordeal has made it clear that biology to me is overrated when i look at her it's true that i don't see a child that looks like me staring back but i see myself in her mannerisms and her speech patterns and her budding sense of right and wrong the parts of me that are in her are so much deeper than her skin and that's what matters to me watching her step over and pile look up at me and say we don't step on ants their friends or listening to her exclaim balls when she drops something is a lot more satisfying and important than the color of her eyes could ever be and i have faith that when she gets older and i've had that conversation with her she'll see that i'm her dad not because of a function of law or a biological link but because of the single best choice i've ever made i found out that my dad wasn't my biological father when i was 11 and it made me respect him so much more than i already did he didn't have to raise me he didn't have to love me but he chose to since then i've met my biological father and that made me realize how lucky i am that i wasn't raised by him i found out when my daughter brett was five years old her mother haley and i had been divorced since she was two my mother convinced me to do an at-home paternity test because she was convinced she wasn't biologically mine turns out she was right since i was military and haley moved back home brit and i didn't have much of a relationship anyway so i took hayley to court for revocation of my rights and responsibilities after about 18 months and a significant chunk of money i was no longer brit's father i haven't spoken to either of them since one thing i can't believe in this thread are the number of stories where people take back their cheating so i'd never be able to trust them again after deceiving me into thinking it's my kid and i'd probably do the same thing you did my nine-year-old son is not mine i raised him since he was six months old i have a seven-year-old daughter with her and have been divorced for almost four years i still treat him as my own equal to the girl i bring him over every weekend and calls me daddy i came back to two envelopes one was my university results and the other was a dna test past and negative i was sure the kid was mine and had put off the test for three years i made one final email to her shaking with a mixture of rage relief and sadness asking her to never contact me again i walked away it was very hard but the child's mom was psycho i got a paternity test because she refused to let me or my fam see the baby i took the opportunity as a get out of jail free card the little girl was too wall of text and life story incoming this is an incredibly defining subject in my life and because of it i have become an incredibly lucky father and learned how to be a man early in life my wife and i met in high school and we started dating when we were 17 after about six seven months we broke up when her abusive and drug addict older boyfriend got out of jail on a gun charge we went our separate ways and i was really hurt because i was young and in love another six months go by and i had heard last she was pregnant but the abuse had continued and they had moved out of town together one day my best friend are at walmart in our town and as we are walking in there she is with her mom and very visibly pregnant i knew something had happened and she had finally gotten away from him just by the look of shame on her face when she saw me i smiled and said hi and moved on inside i talked to my friend about how i had butterflies and i couldn't believe she was back in town because imam lived right down the road from me being the best friend he is he told me to let it be since she had broken my heart and not to forget that but then we left the same time that they did and we had a passing smile again and moved on i let it stew and that night after my friend had went to bed i left my house and walked down to her mom's house with a piece of photograph printer paper with call me and my number written on it the next day i'll never forget when she called me and we decided to have dinner at one of our old favorite places downtown that was 10 years ago in september and our fifth wedding anniversary and our oldest daughter is eight and while she's not biologically mine the father has never had a single interest or even made a move at contact i have spent my entire adult life caring for this little girl because she is a product of the love of my life i'm in the process of adopting this year we had child right after we got married who turns for this june morale of the story is it doesn't take anything to make a baby but it takes every ounce of who you are as a man to raise one regardless of if it is yours or not you make that choice yourself in the process of fighting against paying child support i know my confession isn't going to be popular around here but it's true i pretty much took care of the kid for the first nine months of his life thinking for the majority of the time he was mine before it came out that his slag over mum had been freaking around the integrity of our relationship furthermore found out the pregnancy wasn't accidental but completely orchestrated to roomie into a marriage also her night job wasn't so much of a full-time third shift job but mostly a part-time job and her freaking random dudes and her boss after nine months she told me she was leaving with the child over dinner with her friends who we were double dating with also she was freaking them and moving in with them after about three months of that she moved across the country and disappeared the cherry on top was that she wanted nothing to do with me until i cast my mother out of my life for marrying a man who abused me as a child among her own abusiveness and other things so my mother desperate to have someone in her life and refusing to believe the child wasn't her grandson did something to give her way too much personal information on me i did i did i did i did i did i did i did i did i did i did i did i did i died she randomly emailed me one day with a list of demands from me or she was going to sue for back child support blackmail i refused because legally i could still be held accountable for child support even if i paid her list of demands off which is probably her end game anyway not that anyone here or the court cares but her manipulations pushed me way over the edge and left me pretty suicidal for years and for those wondering how i'm being held accountable for child support before i knew about the frick ton of [ __ ] she was doing i signed the affidavit for the child at the hospital i didn't really know what i was doing as i was stupid 21 and spent the last 72 hours with her and the child and barely any sleep through the labor man i'd leave the freaking country start fresh if the courts are freaking you our one i can finally relate to i married a lovely woman in 2002 and we had a daughter 10 years on the wife died of lung cancer then a guy turns up at my doorstep claiming my daughter was in fact his after arguments and whatnot we decide to end all of this with a simple paternity test she wasn't mine i took it through the courts to keep my daughter and eventually won even though she's not my blood i raised her and gave her everything she ever wanted she is well aware that i'm not her real dad but i'm the only one she's ever known she is well aware that i'm not a real dad ah yeah you are you're just not her bio dad he lives with his mom now i see him sometimes i was living as a single dad with full custody i had him till he was eight i always suspected from pregnancy to the moment i held him at birth i knew but i was 18 she was 16 i tried to do the right thing it kind of slowly destroyed me inside over years until i got a test done i guess it finalized my feelings i love him but he isn't mine he should be with his mom he has a stepdad and two brothers there he still calls me dad and he knows but i have no rights i am not legally a parent i see him when my mom takes him for visits sometimes i don't want him to think i abandoned him but i couldn't continue a life based on a lie a falsity that i would never have agreed to i kind of suspect to get down voted to heck as people tend to scream how blood doesn't matter it's not about that maybe i can't explain it even to myself but this path feels like the right thing to do i have to believe my choice is right and that in the special time i did have with that boy that i impacted his life for the better some people are upset and saying i just abandoned him it's not like that but i wouldn't expect you to be able to set aside your emotions i'm not able to set aside mine little boy shouldn't be raised by a man who can't say he loves you without condition i do love him that's why i think he should be with his actual family i hate his mother she sure loves him though it's the con that flicks with you you shouldn't have to live up to ridic standard of what a person should do i would hate being con too especially an expensive con utterly broke me i hadn't been with the mother long and had no reason to distrust her the relationship broke down shortly after the baby was born however i was determined to make things work for the sake of the kid meanwhile she slowly pushed me further and further away made plans to have the kid for christmas first one she calls me the night before saying she's gone away and i can't see him after initial panic worrying she was running off with my son she drops the bombshell that he's not mine with a pic of a paternity test she took with the real father i've heard people say they are heartbroken before but never believed it possible until then put me in a really bad place and even now on a bad day the memories can set me off thankfully i have since met a wonderful woman and have a daughter with her however the wounds never heal best bet of it all is the ex refuses to accept she did anything wrong when i first found out i tried to speak to her pretty calmly to try and get my head around how someone could do this she genuinely showed no remorse for her actions that alone hit me hard how someone who i loved and who i believe loved me could be so cold i'm pretty sure my youngest son isn't mine found out my ex was cheating on me quite a bit and he is so much not like me it's crazy when she left she abandoned the boys the other is very assuredly mine completely and left the country so they're in my custody so he's still here and is now a teenager i'm not going to tell him and i'd rather not find out myself because i don't want him to be at any risk of her taking him i divorced her and fought for rights with the kiddo it's not the child's fault the mom's a [ __ ] it was a devastating time to go through i still spend time with him and he knows i'm not his father sorry for short answer getting ready for work story time back when my wife was young and dating we had our ups and downs we sparrated with each other for a while but came back well during that spiration period she hooked up with a guy that is like a family friend due to the time period she found she was pregnant it felt like it was mine my dad was happy i wasn't gay but p off that i knocked up a girl well nine months later and so one my son was born i knew he wasn't mine because of his chin but everyone tried to convince me even my parents thought he looked like mine but i stick around i loved her and married her i couldn't see a kid be born without a father so i claimed he was mine and cared less as the age it started becoming more apparent that he wasn't mine but i didn't care but somehow my wife did and thought it would turn me away it was eating her alive with those crazy ideas so i told her once he was three that i just don't care if he isn't mine what is the point if he is mine we made mistakes and pressed on together 11 years it has been and a total of four kids i don't regret nothing while i may wanted to dodge the bullet back then i am glad i stuck to it i've raised my daughter since birth her mother split when our daughter was two months old i found out there is a high chance she isn't mine tests don't matter she's my daughter she turns three in october and we are a team [Music] found out before anything happened because i demanded a test 99 was not mine she broke down in tears i ended it of course the father was a married guy too well she was two months old i took her mom to court over it and demonstrated that she knew who the real father was and now i have no responsibility in the matter that was the end of it legally emotionally it's taken a while to deal with that kind of betrayal we weren't married fortunately but we had been dating for almost a decade i fell in love with a girl when i was 17. she was 16 i didn't know she was already a couple months pregnant after we banged the first time she told me she was pregnant i did the right thing and took care of her and i was happy she actually had banged a random dude and got pregnant before i met her she told me the truth a month before the child was born i loved her and i would have stayed but she was a liar and cheated on me while i was trying to do a good thing and help raise her kid i realized what i was doing was fruitless so i just left the child had a terrible childhood and has issues with not knowing who her father is she is now 25 years old and still considers me her father i have two older children from a previous marriage my youngest is turning one this october he's not biologically mine because my current wife and i had difficulty conceiving so we agreed to go to a sperm bank after ivf had failed to do its thing does not matter for all intents and purposes the little turd is mine and i love him just as much as i love his sisters and my wife loves my daughters as if they were hers i had a hunch it wasn't mine might have been the fact that she was five months pregnant when i met her she was still beautiful to me inside and out and a jerk of an ex-boyfriend at first wanted nothing to do with the kid i date her for a year and we get married ex-boyfriend keeps promising to spend more time with the kid but this also included doing him with her h during a weekend at their house so our wife got full custody not sure how to tell kid this he is six now and gosh darn he is just swell to me he is my son and always will be comma to me he is my son and always will be not just to you you will always be his dad to him too ultimately when he's old enough to know the whole story he'll still know who his dad is the guy that's been there for him his whole life and loves him unconditionally so i'm going through this right now my daughter is two and about a year ago i found out she wasn't mine i didn't care i love that little girl to death my ex became so cold to me and my family she had been my best friend since we were 10 that my mom convinced me to walk away from both of them because she knew one day my ex would try to take my daughter away i lasted about 24 hours before i couldn't take my ex begging me to be her dad and promising me it would never change i couldn't handle the thought of losing my little one when there was no reason to here we are a year later and my ex is pretty serious about a new guy and doesn't want me in the picture because no child should have to deal with divorced parents is what she tells me she's lied and used me countless times in the last year now our divorce hearing is finally coming up and she's made it very apparent a dna test will be the first thing she has done can't go a day without thinking how i might lose the best thing to ever happen to me two years ago my wife cheated on me with my best friend he died in a freak accident before my daughter was born and she passed during childbirth i know my daughter isn't mine by blood but dang anyone who says she isn't mine i love her and will raise her to be a survivor in this crappy world my teenage son is cold and cynical now but he has become an amazing man and brother who loves her the same they are everything to me comma two years ago my wife cheated on me with my best friend he died in a freak accident right no but seriously you're a great man father's isn't one who donates the sperm father is the one who looked into the chicked size and promised to take care of them in the father of five four biological and one from an affair she had when we were married i have custody of all five and absolutely no one treats her different my family knows but they also know it's my choice she loves me and i love her and that's all she needs i give her everything she wants her mother always threatens to take me to court to guise the bio father his rights because he asked for them i tell her good luck i have a lawyer on retainer just for that shoots gonna hurt the fan one day and he'll be ready but for now he'll enjoy her sweet kisses every morning good for you make sure you keep all records medicals school etc for when the time comes to show it to the court heck if you have a great lawyer you could get child support from your ex if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 64,902

Rating: 4.7629008 out of 5

Keywords: not the father, paternity court, paternity test, paternity, cheating, not my child, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: P3RUH2lpAfM

Length: 29min 55sec (1795 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 24 2020