Doctors Who Were Your Dumbest Patients?

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doctors over at it what is the most how the frick did that happen to you case you've seen lady with very poorly controlled diabetes and morbidly obese came in via edie with a gaping hole on her thigh like so deep you could put your whole fist through it it was using ridiculous amount of blood so much so she had to be transfused her blood levels were rock bottom it transpires she'd accidentally cut herself when tryna to wriggle into genes meantime the wound just kept getting bigger and bigger and she attempted to just sort it by packing the wound with socks single worst thing i've seen working in there we had some interesting ones but the simplest and most intriguing one i've had was a man came in complaining about chest and side pains after a few tests to rule out heart issues we discovered through an x-ray that the man had 19 fractures throughout his rib cage when i asked him if he had been doing anything dangerous he replied with nope just dancing needless to say i'd recommend not trying to do leaping flops into the worm on repeat on concrete which is the only way i can fathom this occurring and no he didn't explain what kind of dancing well he sure wasn't doing the safety dance old paramedic here i had a 60s male found on his hands and knees quite dead he was positioned to receive a corn cob mounted to the door lifter on a garage door opener but the track was modified to run the length of a mattress powered by the one stroke two horsepower opener he used the remote button to forward and reverse the lifter with a plate adapter for a large rubber corncob he had taken a massive heart attack training as an emt so not a doctor but in the air old guy shuffles in with his girlfriend both mid-50s he is holding a member's only jacket in front of his crotch and waddling in we take him through trigger to the back and get him on the exam table his scrotum was the size a large watermelon it hung below his knees and was easily 18 inches in diameter serious hernia issue just a big oblong mass of flesh that had overwhelmed the rest of his nevers i think every physician in the hospital came down to consult on it i mean everyone cardiologists ants etc everyone made an excuse to come take a look this was clearly an issue he had been avoiding for years the prescribed treatment if i remember properly was to kevlar reinforce his belly and shove all his intestines back up and in they were going to transport him to her nearby by hospital for the treatment but because it was across state lines he refused to go so he slid off the table pulled his jeans up around his crotch grabbed his jacket and his girlfriend and shuffled off to the bus stop it's an image you never forgot closest thing i can related to is when hugh jackman is trying to carry the fishbowl between his legs in the prestige the human capacity to deny the undeniable is amazing as a radiologist i've seen an 80-pound ovarian tumor a hand-sized facial malignancy neglected until it eroded an underlying artery numerous neglected breast cancers eroding through the skin people will refuse to see what they really don't want to see doctor friend told me of a man with a flower stalk stuck up his dong he was trying to give his gf a birthday surprise unfortunately flower stalks have little angled hairs on them which make them easy to push in but impossible to take out saw the guy who had a pretty blunt machete lodge perfectly across the middle of his skull but the angle was unusual and it was like perfectly along so that caught my attention turned out the guy had unsuccessfully tried to murder his wife with the machete and later regretted it so he hit himself in the head with it he held it with his hand sharp side front and gave himself a whack perfectly in the middle of his skull thankfully the machete barely made it into the skull and since it was along the middle it didn't touch any brain tissue work in a burn center for three months in a row we had three different people come in because they tried to commit suicide by setting themselves on fire with gasoline i cannot imagine what brings someone to that point to think that's a good way to go out those burning monks protesting the war in vietnam come to mind not a freaking peep while they sat there cross-legged i don't know that i understand human i have an amazing how the frick did that happen to story end of nursing school did the rotation internship in the or large urban hospital get a call that the hello is bringing in a 17 year old with a severe spinal injury call in the specialty surgeons and they get to work on this kid he has c3 through c5 fractures from a diving injury doc's work on him four hours with very little hope that he will regain anything below the neck once the surgery is over we are all exhausted but the surgeon wants to see what will happen if we wake him up with respiratory standing by we bring him out of anaesthesia he starts breathing on his own he opens his eyes and responds to his name holy crap awesome for some reason i was near his hand i saw a small movement i said nothing i grabbed his hand and squeezed he squeezed me back holy freaking crap mind you i'm just a nursing student but i yelled the surgeon's name and said he just squeezed my hand surgeon called bulls until he saw the kid raise his arm the entire all was silent this kid should have been a quad for life but by some miracle he was moving the feeling of seeing that kid's arm move is something that i will never forget i tried to keep track of his progress but the last i heard he was killing it to physical therapy and had regained almost total control of his upper body just last week i had a guy over 400 pounds bmi 60 he was a hoarder and kept getting cellulitis in his legs because his house was so cluttered he kept hitting his legs into things and getting cuts and infections when he came in we had to remove his socks with scissors because he hadn't taken them off in over three months his socks had embedded into his skin and somehow become one i didn't learn in medical school how that happens i once had a patient that got pregnant despite never having freaked she had severe vaginismus and was not able to ever have anything go into her fanny but her significant other ejaculated onto her and apparently one little swimmer found an egg had a lady come to the morgan pieces for several days she had fallen off a catwalk thing into an industrial fan that had no guards due to a cleaning being performed on that area in a factory they were having trouble finding all of her it wasn't explained to me until three days after the first piece showed up so i thought there was a serial killer out there for a bit i didn't see morg the first time i read that and was very confused back when i was a medical student on a urology rotation we had a guy come in after butterflying his dong with a fillet knife this occurred after consuming a lot of c it was his third time doing it all three in a fit of c induced psychosis you'd think you'd steer clear of the old bolivian marching powder after the first two times comma butterflying his dong with a fillet knife i don't know what that means but holy crap do i not want to know [Music] nurse here had a patient coming due to pain in her chest four months after having a mastectomy when we changed her dressings the site was so infected that i could see her lung inflating when she took a breath but she died a week later still don't know why she didn't come in earlier ro i can't even begin to imagine how painful that had to be heartbreaking that she died had a lady in the uh who had a celeb in her rectum she was extremely embarrassed but came to the department for removal we took an x-ray she had pooped it out and didn't even feel it come out got a bill and mortified sar only put toys with a fled end up the [ __ ] you'd cavity to prevent this exact situation a pa i work with saw this patient with an external fixator normally these rods and screws outside the body holding a fracture stable until swelling or whatever you goes down so they can operate and internally fix the fracture they're normally on for a few days cut to this guy's office where a patient walks in one day with an exfix on his leg that has been there for three freaking years the guy lived a normal life and just thought it was the way they fixed legs how he never got an infection i'll never understand i've heard surgeons refer to the trauma unit as relentlessly working directly against natural selection use your imagination they've seen a lot of darwin award candidates not a doctor post-surgical nurse had a guy with necrotizing fasciitis flesh-eating bacteria on his scrotum had a wound vac that kept leaking i had to change it was not pretty by the end of it we were both traumatized i'll never forget the agony that poor guy had to go through but on a good note he healed up eventually this is often called fernie's gangrene and as you may imagine it's pretty bad work in the ed as a medical student had a guy the other day who let a leg infection get worse for years and when he finally came in his infected leg was at least four times the size of the other one and was draining copious amounts of foul smelling pus if the infection had been seen earlier he would have just needed antibiotics because he waited so long he's going to lose the leg if not his life not me but a nurse friend guy comes in complaining of pain sitting down pain in his rectal area she goes to take a look and this man's anus is so infected it was almost gangrenous the infection wasn't just around the anus it had traveled inches deep into his body literally using pus one nurse had to excuse herself and almost passed out due to the smell i was told but no idea what caused it or whatever happened to the poor guy probably injecting drugs swamp of dagobah style 70 yogai came into the va clinic for a bad cough and admitted due to temp of 104f he was mine and i found lumps on his neck on exam he had tuberculosis scrofula so why does he have tb in the us we do hiv test and he's been with some prostitutes he also developed some other complications and was finally discharged after four weeks poor guy got a cough from freaking my cousin is a paramedic in a large city and had these stories one victim is a power lifter with a home gym tries to squat too much weight and on the upward push herniates his sphincter when he got there the man had six eight inches of his small intestine coming out of his butt apparently the medical street slang for this is red socking yourself two victim is a man with a flashing fetish late in the night he walks to a 7-eleven waits until the female cashier turns her back and then opens his jacket so his erect member is lying on the glass countertop by the register in a panic the cashier grabs the first thing she could find a can of tomato soup and in an adrenaline rage brings the can down on his erect dong he said this apparently almost entirely severs the man's dong which fully erect is moving a lot of blood through it he said the man nearly bled to death and the 7-eleven looked like a murder scene when they arrived a three victim is a morbidly obese man completely naked masturbating with a can of soup lubed with honey he is shoving up his butt in the process he stimulates his prostate nerve too much has a heart attack and eyes that's what he responded to a naked sweaty morbidly obese corpse with a honey lubed can of soup halfway up his butt he mentions they had to make efforts to keep the victim small dog out of the room as the dog was quite drawn to the honey please don't think about doing ems unless you're willing to see some truly horrifying crap not a doctor but former psychiatric nurse i have seen all manner of weird and wonderful things yet the most perplexing was a young girl we nursed in piku with history of pika when we took her for x-rays due to her complaining her stomach was hurting we found a belt buckle a full-size spoon and butter knife as well as an assortment of batteries as far as i recall as it was some time ago now they had to operate immediately to remove and again if i recall correctly it was the batteries they were most concerned about as if one exploded started leaking it would have caused irreparable damage i have never seen a set of x-rays like it and seeing was believing incredible how the heck she managed to get them in there but never underestimate the willpower of psychosis disclaimer i'm not a doctor i'm a paramedic my first week on my internship we responded to a fairly rural gas station for a male patient complaining of an altered level of consciousness when we arrived on scene the patient was sitting in a chair in the dining area of the gas station i introduced myself to the patient and was crouched on the floor in front of him trying to get him to answer my questions but he wasn't really giving me much i looked down and noticed a small white worm making its way across the floor i thought well crap sir i said i'm going to remove your shoe and i did as i did so a cascade of maggots tumbled onto the floor the entire soul of his foot was being eaten away by maggots the patient was completely unable to tell me about his medical history or how his foot had come to be a buffet for corpse fauna i double bagged his shoe along with several dozen maggots because i didn't know what else to do with it his blood sugar was fine and he didn't appear to have a history of diabetes and he had full sensation in the parts of his feet that weren't being chewed on i still wonder about that guy the only thing the patient was able to tell me was that he lived two states away and thought he was still in that state the most alarming thing to me about the whole situation was that he had gotten in his truck and driven two states over with no memory of doing so moreover how did you let us get this bad and not come in sooner patient came in friday and 12 30 it's always friday afternoon when they come in because why wouldn't you come in during the week before the busy friday rush because suddenly you realize you don't want to go the weekend with something happening so he comes into my clinic saying his eyes hurting it's been hurting for a few months feels like pressure on the right side behind his eye and he's had a headache on that side that has been worsening his vision is also worse than it used to be and things seem dimmer my staff member remembered what happened a few months ago with a similar situation turned out to be angle closure glaucoma that needed surgery like two weeks ago so she comes to me and asks me if i can see the sky because he's in pain and scared and doesn't want to wait the entire weekend to be seen somewhere else on monday okay sure i take him back and we go through everything vision is reduced he's seeing distortions in letters but everything looks fine from the outside i dilate his eyes and take a look at his right eye right smack in the middle of his central vision is a huge elevated white legion we take some pictures and scans i had to sit down with him and have a hard talk why did you wait so long this has been going on for three four months now he's got history with colon cancer from a few years ago i had to tell him it's very likely a choroidal melanoma i sent him off to a specialist i don't know if he'll lose his eye yet i suspect he will if he's lucky he'll live and just have to deal with having only one eye if he's extremely blessed and lucky it will be treatable and he won't lose the eye good story the tug i have such sensitive eyes redding that has my eyes watering at the thought of it my mother is an emergency nurse and a while back a 90 year old woman came into the department complaining of pain in her leg below the knee after an examination my mother suggested an x-ray x-ray comes back and it turns out the leg had been broken several months prior snapped clean across both the tibia and fibula and she had somehow ignored what must have been excruciating pain and continued about her life and then the bones had healed but not straight the top of the bones were to the left and about two inches below where they were supposed to be and they had fused to the lower parts at the side like that but in the end there is nothing that could realistically be done as to sort the leg out would require a breaking it dang i didn't know human bodies could do that i'm not a doc but a medical technician still in college but you see some crap nevertheless there was a guy who had a car accident damaging his cervical spine our hercipital surgeon did an amazing job so after a long process of recovery the man was able to walk using only a cane another problem he had was some neurologic muscle illness not sure if myasthenia gravis or something else which made it hard for him to do any fine motor movements although he had all these health issues the guy insisted that he is independent so he did all of his daily activities on his own the problem occurred when he went to his beach house on a vacation and went to take a bath he lied into the tub and turned the water on then he turned on the hot water and realized that the faucet isn't the same as he had back at home and because of his motor skills being bad he didn't manage to turn the hot water off result two three degree burns on the left side of his body from head to toe as he was laying on his side he almost cooked himself to death i don't even get in the tub in my own house without testing the water first it's just not comfortable even because you're sort of wet and cold my doctor was very confused how nine-year-old me managed to completely rip my big toes nail out at 3 am i tripped running down the hallway on the way back from the toilet causing you no monsters and slid along my carpeted hallway the friction between my toe and the carpet ripped it out omg i think i just shaved three years off my life by reading this a very tame example but here's one mum an ex-nurse told me one day a patient came in who had basically no social interaction whatsoever so he looked like a complete mess with hair nearly down to his hips as the nurses cleaned him up they noticed his hair was quite thick around his head and they couldn't cut through it it turned out the guy had been wearing a beanie for the last 10 years and his hair had just grown through it and over it wow i wish there were pictures on this one nurse here a girl came into the air with a retained bottle cap over her cervix that had been there two years two years sounds like at home contraception gone wrong i'm in a pa patient tried to kill themselves by slitting left wrist patient was unsuccessful as they miss the deep anatomy and arteries but certainly cut bad enough to cause a heck of an infection fast forward a few months without seeking medical treatment and the necrosis had eaten up the vast majority of the forearm exposing a large amount of bone and tendon when i asked if it hurt patient used an index finger jabbed the exposed distal radius and said right here shudder there was a patient in the hospital where i work and one of his legs had gotten so infected it split open and maggots were living inside of the open wound and he called them his pets that sounds like a good reason to request a psych eval doctor multiple incredibly advanced cancers mostly breast head and neck cervix and anal one or two vulva cancers that was particularly bad as well worst non-cancer case was during intern year morbidly obese man comes through ed so large he had to have two bariatic beds pushed together he wasn't to be my patient but he had a lot of anxiety and embarrassment with female doctors for some reason we just had a connection i really felt like he just needed to talk talked about his situation home life all of it he had this calm and peace about him despite his health he passed away two days later at first it was hard to comprehend how life would come to that yet in the end i understood i'm sorry man i wish things had been better frick i'm glad i'm getting help i just hit 500 this year and i refuse to go any freaking higher i'm not dying in a hospital bed at 600 pounds see my neighbor was an ex-emergency room nurse whenever we would ask her about strange cases most answers were you don't want to know the only story i have is really strange one day a morbidly obese woman rolls into the emergency room her legs couldn't support her weight anymore and complains about mild stomach pain after letting several people with mild ailments get treated before her she sits up and rolls to the staff only water cooler behind the counter my neighbor tells her about how the cooler is only for staff and she starts to go away midway she stops and from under her skirt a baby falls on the floor apparently this woman was pregnant and didn't notice because of her weight how the heck didn't she feel giving the excruciating pain of giving birth wtf edit the baby lived and apparently she just had intercourse without protection and was stupid enough to believe she wouldn't get pregnant i'm not really sure if she kept it or not but i'd like to think so doctors were surprised when little thread greater me was brought in with a lacerated spleen and lungs gradually filling with fluid i tripped and fell off of an eight-foot bridge into a creek on my dad's property and a rather large rock caught my fall hitting my ribcage just right my dad thought i was just being a pee and told me to sleep it off but eight hours later my mom found out they were divorced and rushed me to the hospital thankfully spleens are very good at regenerating and i made a full recovery with some physical therapy so my top moment of how the frick did that happen was i was on my internal medicine wards rotation i had this guy in his late 60s come in via told me it was an admission but they were stupid vague so whatever i go in and i notice on his left hand was this golf ball-sized blood clot with a bruise that extended to his elbow now i want to make sure this image is clear there was a black purple golf ball-sized oozing ball on the back of his hand still with me i like with all patience asked what brought him to the hospital well you see i went to my psychiatrist cause i've been having problems sleeping i wanted a sleeping pill you see and i immediately stop him right there and clarify so you are here for a sleeping pill he says yes so i'm my psychiatrist didn't want to i stop him say haha no you are here cause of your hand what happened with your hand he kinda ignores me wanting to just blow it off i refuse to let him talk to me about anything else till he tells me about his hand long story short he was on a blood thinner cold warfarin there is a measure of how the blood clots called the inr normal people are around 1.0 people on warfarin are often aiming for a 2.0 3.0 inr his was freaking 9.0 and the mother wanted to leave when i told him that i had to put him under a legal medical hole to fix it so that he didn't turn his head too fast and have a brain bleed by the end of his admission he admitted to like taking all the random otc herbal crap online cause he read it was good for him if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now
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Channel: Updoot Everything
Views: 82,570
Rating: 4.8990917 out of 5
Keywords: doctors, doctor stories, medical, dumb patients, dumb patients reddit, dumb patient stories, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh
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Length: 24min 23sec (1463 seconds)
Published: Mon Sep 21 2020
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