CLEVER COMEBACKS #15

school district says no pajamas for online classes uh what are y'all gonna do send them home yeah to be fair like you can't do anything if i wanna wear pajamas i'm gonna wear pajamas all right hey everyone my name is jake and welcome to clever comebacks where we're gonna be looking at comebacks which are clever you know when you think of someone really hard and you think of it good and then the other person is like what and then you destroy them with the comeback yeah that's you know what a comeback is uh that's what we're gonna be looking at enjoy guys what made you realize this girl is definitely not into me well i gave a girl at work my number on a piece of paper and she handed it right back and said we talk at work all the time so let's keep doing that oh yeah that's gonna stink that's really gonna stink starting your sentence with butt is grammatically incorrect i guess you grew up in those places around the country that give little attention to education well it's really not starting a sentence with a conjunction is a stylistic choice typically employed to emphasize the stark difference between what's being conjoined here's an example the written word is a wonderful medium of expression but when it's used to blungeon others especially with regard to what's proper much of its luster is lost if you're one of these people that goes ah actually that's not what you're supposed to say it's actually used like this like nah shut up like if a guy uses the wrong you're in you're in a heated argument that's fair enough sure that's gonna start at arguably but when you do something like that like shut up school boards we don't have the power to enforce a mask policy on students also school boards no dreadlocks no haircuts with designs no distracting hair colors no visible shoulders no bra straps showing no knees showing no open-door shoes no political shirts no yeah you definitely can enforce it all right norm kelly me you're a politician stop tweeting like this inner me you're too lit to politic toronto city councillor norm kelly well the city is currently looking into how we can extract the salt from my haters and apply it to the roads this winter we'll keep you guys posted i like how this was 2016 as uh this guy was ahead on memes the united states postal service is viewed favorably by 91 percent of americans despite billions in losses annually well it's a service it doesn't lose money it costs money no one says the military loses 750 billion dollars a year i don't want to get like political or anything but why do you need to spend that much on the military like it's not like we're fighting into the world war or something that seems like a lot like a lot a lot surely you could just be like get one deadly laser that says don't come near our country or we'll shoot you with the deadly laser that's what we need that's someone invent that elon musk maybe women get mostly infertile at 40 but live to be 80. without a family what are you going to do with those 40 long long years uh i'm gonna screw everyone that's what i'll do men women grandmas grandpas your wife everyone i'm gonna screw the whole world everyone except you you can go and screw yourself geez the guy that posted that's a bit of a weirdo not gonna lie i mean he did get 17 000 replies and only 7000 likes so we can uh understand that no one really liked his opinion when you're the only one without a mask in walmart yeah and a week later dad dad what are you i will not shop at costco until you remove your mandatory mask rule costco wholesale reply thank you for taking such a brave stand sharon we look forward to the documentary they will make about you someday and jack replies wow not a very professional response costco looks like i will be getting a membership refund myself it should be a choice costco wholesale well we've chosen not to refund you thank you for shopping at cusco men under 5 for 11 shouldn't exist well i'm 5'7 but that's 11 foot 7 over your dad if that helps wait a sec rip dad oh no oh you really went there right i mean she did kind of wish death upon everyone under 511 so students are being suspended for taking pictures of schools that aren't following coronavirus safety protocols hopefully they don't stop until every student is suspended and safe at home yeah so they're suspending people for snitching basically but it's snitching something that could save your life which is pretty fine right millennial dads have pathetic diy skills compared to baby boomers ah maybe but at least i have the emotional capacity to tell my daughter i love her oh wow wasn't it like the baby boomers job to teach the millennial you know their children how to do the diy tasks is is that not what it what it is then you're complaining that they're bad at it okay nice stan lee was a bigot he said peter parker could never be gay so stop with this stan lee worshiping he not only refused to make spider-man queer he also stated that spider-man should never be gay if you continue to idolize him then you were just as bad well he said peter parker shouldn't be gay because the character wasn't written with the intention to be queer there is more to lgbtq plus inclusion than just queer washing already established non-queer characters and also peter parker isn't the only spider-man stanley created x-men to show how we shouldn't discriminate or be afraid of people just because they are different that's whom you are trying to paint as a bigger sit your dumb ass down this guy commenting on jimmy kimmel's post women still aren't funny and jimmy kimmel actually replies maybe if one talks to you someday you'll change your mind i'm definitely more of a jimmy fallon fan but that was pretty good i don't know if he wrote it but it was pretty good a one percent drop in gdp is a recession we called a 6.5 drop in gdp the great recession in 1929 we called a 15 drop in gdp the great depression so what do we call a 33 drop in gdp uh the best depression the greatest depression no other depression is greater than this depression very great depression indeed that's right the best only the best with all the talks of kids going back to school i keep hearing they've fallen behind what have they fallen behind our created expectations of where they should be by a certain age there's no set finish line of where our children have to be by 18. i just want my kids alive yeah i think you have to think of priorities first you know first you want to be alive then you can do other things all right that's the main thing i thought happiness starts with an h why does mine start with you i think you have dyslexia yeah it's not how it's spelled no no it was like a pick up like no i think you i think there's something wrong yeah at wendy's is it shameful to be eating wendy's food while sitting in a mcdonald's parking lot wendy's replies oh you're probably raising the property value to be fair that's a lot of damage how come cashiers at 24 7 mcdonald's can de-escalate situations better than cops uh because we get fired if we don't honestly yeah i mean that's probably the right answer oh i think we should remove the gay flag wait so you prefer straight men than gay men oh that's pretty gay you walked into a trap there man you've walked into one the hardest part of when this whole covered 19 thing is over in like 2022 is when we're all gonna have to go back to bars and socialize knowing there's a good chance we're talking to the geniuses who refused to wear masks and made this thing take this long i like how they mentioned the 2022 thing god i really hope it doesn't take that long i asked my wife to share her queen-sized blanket to which she replied she was a queen and therefore the blanket was already at max capacity i'm sure he's like yeah yeah you are a queen but i'm also very very cold please pass me some of the blanket please guys what made you realize this girl is definitely not into me well i asked a girl if she wanted to grab lunch together sometime she said she was busy that day which was interesting as i never specified a day yes well uh tuesday yeah yeah that one i'm busy wednesday yeah that one too oh okay that's bad writing person who was never actually written or created anything wait so using that same logic you were also not qualified to consider it good writing the usps should be fully funded pass it on uh are you kidding the usps lost nine billion dollars last year while fedex and ups made billions the usps is a loser like everything else the government runs and you want to fund them look it's you i'm an idiot wait the usps isn't a business notice it's leagues cheaper to use than the private alternatives but i suppose you've never written a letter before so i can see how you wouldn't know that hi oh sorry i don't talk to ugly people but i do oh he came prepared he knew breaking news uber ceo says the company will likely shut down temporarily if a court decides to classify drivers as employees uber is admitting their business model depends upon exploiting workers and skirting labor law yeah i mean i guess no one's forcing anyone to be an uber driver to be fair if their company goes under that just shows that it wasn't a good model if it doesn't go under then they're doing it fine right if we're in a relationship your clothes are my clothes too don't ask me why i have your shirt on this is our shirt well when i come straight in with your leggings on i don't want to hear anything all right i'm sure you'll look great frankie wow those comebacks sure were clever right you can click on screen to see more clever comebacks and also other topics which we cover here on the yj channel which you could subscribe to by clicking subscribe down below that would be nice thanks i don't know what i'm talking about click on the screen thanks

Channel: WhyJake

Views: 352,185

Rating: 4.9473324 out of 5

Keywords: twitter posts, facebook posts, reddit posts, tinder posts, funny, comedy

Id: 3NF3wVF4dDY

Length: 11min 13sec (673 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 19 2020