Clarkson Making Fun of Bikers and Cyclists Compilation

now obviously i'm not going to ride the bike because i'm a heterosexual and i don't like wearing rubber trousers so i've entrusted that job no it's um glare from other vehicles headlamps cyclists in dark clothing it's their own fault for not working hard enough and having a car [Applause] the car lapped thruxton from a standing start in one minute 35.33 seconds while the bike came home three-quarters of a second later still that's enough and now bikers everywhere can shut up now here's one of the big problems that you have on the river which is the rowers to reserve a special kind of hatred for people with engines on their boats they are the cyclists of the waterway the hammonds do you want to lift see she hates me i'm not interested in bike racing well that's hardly relevant is it just because you're not interested in something doesn't mean that the bbc should deny all the people who are the opportunity of seeing it mic racing only works on youtube what well you just see the crashes and then oh don't be sick hands up if you want to see might race it two so about eight percent of the population want me to get a move yes they do and i am one of them and so is james [Applause] that's what you need you see we're all in favor of that a winner it's the only time in my life i've ever wanted to be a policeman no you can't why you haven't got a moustache that's true rory said to my children that if they buy a bike i will burn it and if they replace it with another one i shall burn that too now however if they buy a bike i will completely understand and then i'll burn it driver of the year nominations are fernando alonso the formula one world champion that uh italian thing on a motorbike valentino rossi he's a genius he's not genius he's just good at not falling off his motorbike anyway the thing is and why have you never replaced it with another car because presumably you can afford one though because i own a motorbike after that jeremy oh did you yeah a motor cozy i didn't know you're homosexual yes absolutely most of my songs about you oh god now i've got all kinds of lyrics going through my head now that later on in this program jeremy is going to try and prove to james and me that cars are better than bikes well that's because they are well they're not oh yes they are they're warmer than bikes they stand up by themselves you don't have to wear rubber trousers they're faster not faster they are around callers well they're not in a straight line yes you see that's what i'm going to prove later on that they are faster in the straight line really yes i am really yes i am but now we're going to do the proper news um this ducati 10 9 8. i'm sorry what you're doing it's a ducati 1098 i'd like to put it forward to go on the board but i'd like to put it in the cup i seriously know there's every reason why this is a very very cool bike it's an italian superbike but it isn't just technically very very clever it also looks beautiful [Music] [Applause] i think you'll be a lot shorter now so well that is one advantage of motorcycling i will concede but there is a disadvantage because i was talking to a surgeon just last week and he was telling me you know these new bikes that have got a very pronounced fuel tank in front of the saddle yeah a lot of sport spikes do you know what the most common injury is now when you've had an accident your testes torn off oh no it's a fact it's a fact so you can do that to a speed camera but the next thing you know this surgeon was telling me he now spends most of his life sewing testicles on people which is annoying if you're a woman you don't know if they're with my boyfriends you now know what you've done i'd i'd love to be i'd sew them on someone's ears serves you right for being a biker now you've got earrings i'd sell them on the shoulders so the next time somebody said well done mate now harley davidson mostly they do yes how do you fall off one of those well they're not quick exactly but they're not bad you might as well just sit in the sedan chest and armchair going at walking speed look you're not just starting harley bashing it's just old and corny they're great it's about laid-back boots in the breeze feeling good you arrived this morning here on a harley-davidson didn't you my first harley experience you came on a motoguzzi motorbike yes for those of you who are intelligent um i actually took a photograph of these two just after they'd arrived would you like to see it put it up granted that's not how we looked in our minds but that's an illustration of why we don't want to wear crash helmets you will kill yourself but at least when they lay you out at your funeral you won't have helmet hair i suppose you could all dress up as red indians and construction workers that's another option i'll finish that oh god i tell you earlier this week they were running this story about cyclists wearing video cameras on their their crash helmets yeah so they can video you know examples of road rage and people cutting them up on their bikes but cyclists deserve it i say that the dude is just the other week no honestly up there i am sitting in a traffic jam in london and a frenchman he was tried to cycle between the pavement of my car and after he'd removed most of the paint with the brake candle thing he came round to the driver's door to tell me off in that silly accent french people have a french accent yes that and i said to him listen if you just work hard you could have a card you are exactly the reason why i want a camera on my bicycle helmet when i say why so when idiots like you get out of their car having cut me up who plays the road tanks well no i'm sorry i don't mind if cyclists want to come on the road with their silly victorian distractions i'm not bothered okay they're fine but they must behave themselves there are a few militant cyclists i'll agree that you'll want to give it no they're here i'm not a millionaire you are a peach actually you're a peach most of the you're just another fat car in his mercedes and that's a pop of me for riding my bike to work which is a perfect because you always ride your bike to work don't you often yesterday i saw you riding your bike to work and i thought that's amazing that bicycle looks exactly like a 1967 ford mustang yeah well i always ride it now this is an unusual thing jeremy do you want to sit back and have a little nap or something because you're not going to be very interested it's about a bike go away this is the dodge tomahawk they built one of these things and it's by chrysler they put the engine at the viper you know the buy for a great big engine about 420 miles an hour possibly potential speed let's have a look at this thing it's absolutely astonishing they built one they're going to actually sell them through i think they may have been confused we don't do bikes on this program what is his problem can i just ask you though jeremy i'm interested in this what is it you don't get about bikes i want to try and i just don't want to dress up like a power ranger and drive to a pub and drink orange juice all afternoon you like these cars that you get involved with and so do i and i'd never give up a car but a bike you are much more back me up at one with the bike you're both one with the bike until you hit the tree and then you're at one with that i think it's simply that you know you know deep down in your heart of hearts if you were on a bike you would look ridiculous yes i would and that's what it is everyone on the bike with that leather ass look at my bottom i've got a zigzag blue thing on the front of my suit and i'm wearing a hat like a terrorist have you ever fallen out of a car no well there you are driving down the m40 here's a heartbreak i've fallen out that's user error it's not obligatory can i just move it on oh now bit of bike news this week there's been talks at high level in government of capping the noise from bikes exhaust at 74 decibels good that's about as loud as a hairdryer and it goes further than that because what they're saying is if you were caught with a bike louder than that the police would be able to confiscate it good i live on a road in the cotswold and every weekend city boys come out on their pqrs double tt's okay the japanese four-cylinder bike been rev to about 11 000 rpm sounds glorious yeah triumph triumph three-cylinder motorcycle engine you don't get that noise anywhere you told me the other day that your bike whatever it is sounds like you belching no i didn't no what i said was the sound that low res from the exhaust is like the sound that a burp makes when it's forming down here i don't want to hear a forming burp going past my house in a sunny afternoon with someone dressed like a power ranger i don't know i don't clap him he's wrong i'm so not wrong actually i'm quite glad that you don't like it i'm actually quite glad about this possible legislation because i think bikes should be slightly outside the lord that's why we ride them to be a little bit rebellious because i don't want you to like my bike i want it to upset you okay mr revel mr easy rider let me ask you a simple question few years from now okay you've got two daughters some spotty oic turns up at your house on a p q r s z double t okay i've come to take your izzy out what are you going to do got him i'm going to keep a big bucket of sand by the door and when i see him at the door i'm going to go and stick my head in it and then the i problems have to worry anymore you're gonna let a man on a bike take your daughter out oh that's a difficult one how about if i turn up in ten years time to take it then on the other side of the door i'm gonna have a big bath because in 10 years time his daughter is going to be 14 and you're going to be 75. that's one of the reasons why he'd have to clobber you with a bat probably with a nail in it now this is what i came up with here we go [Music] john works hard which means that he can afford to drive a car [Music] that means he gets home to his family safely every night [Music] work harder get a car [Music] [Applause] thank you very much i think a work of genius frankly that is terrible it good news is we have two films for you to look at now we have one no two there's two why don't you show them yours first of all which i believe is that one there gentlemen if you'd like to relax whilst i just insert this in the machine you stopped playing with children's toys when you grew up so why ride a bicycle oh i did a skit act your age get a car you just haven't got it is that absolutely crazy well no i can see you disappointed just in the way you're looking james they're disappointed with your work may i just play you this one if i may just let me show you this one because i think this will rectify the problem which has begun already john works hard which means that he can afford to drive a car work harder get a car [Music] sorry absolutely terrible you just got it wrong dreadfully wrong where's the cyclist yeah mangled at the end what was the brief well we're trying to make cycling safer and we thought the best way to do that is to stop people cycling but the message you should be getting across is that people need to be considerate towards each other i'm not sure they're going to like our poster idea that we had as well but we came up with that we did spell it wrong with the fact-finding mission over we felt we'd become fully paid-up members of the cycling community have you got the arts pages we've tried to focus on very specific details of cycling that we experience um we hope that uh this one first yes i think that's cut okay green wire for god's sake do not cut the red wire it is imperative to cut the green wire cyclists red and green learn the bloody difference well yeah i mean i'm not sure we're really getting what are you trying to achieve with that cyclists jump red lights we know this everybody's seen that it's what annoys people most about bicycles

Channel: Mustang150

Views: 430,250

Keywords: top, gear, the, grand, tour, making, fun, of, insulting, insult, roast, roasting, bike, bikes, biker, bikers, cycle, cyclist, cyclists, bicycle, bicyclist, compilation, funny, moments, montage, James, may, Richard, hammond, Vietnam, special, episode, series, season, ad, advert, advertisement, advertise, promote, promotion

Id: Lu9msNkopZE

Length: 15min 4sec (904 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 18 2021