She got pregnant intentionally

am i va for accusing my girlfriend of getting pregnant intentionally I've been dating my girlfriend for four years living together for one year now we are both 26 our relationship has been great for the most part but I noticed that since we moved in together my girlfriend has been talking more and more about having children her Pinterest is filled with stuff about baby clothes nursery decorating and raising kids as well as tons of wedding stuff she follows a lot of family accounts on Instagram she would once in a while send me videos of kids and sale all this is totally our future kid I was very adamant that I wanted to wait until we could afford a house pay off some debts and establish our careers before getting married and then we would have kids she just finished her master's and I finished physiotherapist school and would love to start my own physiotherapy business in the future she always agreed that we weren't ready for kids but it was obvious she had intense baby fever my girlfriend is on birth control and takes the depo-provera shot every three months three days ago my girlfriend tells me that she's two months pregnant and she just found out I was absolutely shocked honestly I suggested in her at this point but my girlfriend was adamant against it and said she was pretty excited for the baby and was mad I was even suggesting that so honestly I did accuse her of intentionally getting pregnant because it honestly just made the most sense she was acting so excited like it was planned her past behavior showed she was looking forward to a baby and I never followed up to make sure she was getting all her shots she had been on the same form of birth control our entire relationship with barely a pregnancy scare and suddenly she's pregnant when I accused her of getting pregnant on purpose she got mad at me and says she would have never done that and she knows that it isn't the perfect time to have a child and she been getting all her depo shots but God had other plans and we could make it work I again accused her of lying and this was just too much of a coincidence we argued back and forth and she gets really angry and runs away to her mom's house she then texts me a picture of a receipt for her most recent depo shot nine weeks ago with the caption you are an idiot she blocked me and refuses to respond to any of my messages I already apologized many times but I honestly don't think I was there to question her intentionally getting pregnant from my point of view it made sense I really hope we can make this work but am I really the [ __ ] here when looking at my perspective of the situation when I was in my mid-twenties I froze some eggs we ended up freezing 10 eggs I was lucky enough that my job covered part of the costs fast-forward when my husband and I were ready to get pregnant we ended up just getting pregnant naturally I'm currently 35 I had my baby a year ago we do want two more children so we will likely use a few of the eggs my sister 30 had one kid in her teens my 12 year old niece and has recently gotten married she and her husband have been together for less than six months even though she was young my sister's first pregnancy was a struggle she has been told that she probably will not be able to have another baby now she and her new husband are asking me if they can have one or two of my stored eggs I instantly told her now I would feel very weird about it I then softened my stance and told her that if she paid me a substantial amount of money I would let her have two eggs I have been paying $70 a month for the past nine years to store them and paid a hefty fine for the process of removal I gave her a price of five thousand dollars I admit that this is mostly done to dissuade her from asking me she's really torn up and blaming me for not being able to enjoy sharing a child with her husband I told her to find a donor egg and she would be able to do that she says she wants a baby that is related by blood my baby I also told her frankly that if she can't afford 5k for the egg she can't afford another baby before she got married she was constantly asking me for money she has now gone on to whine to any family member or friend in earshot about how much of a horrible sister I am my parents are begging me to help my sister start family and are saying that if her new husband leaves her because he wants kids it will be my fault other people are even coming out of the woodwork to shame me for not giving her the eggs I feel for my sister I really do but these are my eggs even if they are not used they are mine I'm Ina for not giving them to her several weeks ago I matched with a guy on tinder he didn't have a photo of his face but said in his Bo that it was because he was a teacher and didn't want to risk matching with his students or their parents that made total sense I've seen it happen before we messaged each other and he sent me his snapchat username so we could exchange photos on there we exchanged countless photos and messages over the course of the next week I was out of town on a business trip so we made plans to meet up once I returned we decided to meet at my house since he claimed to have a roommate and I live alone fast forward to me returning to town he came over and we had s I enjoyed myself and he seemed to as well we made plans to meet up again however the following morning I woke up and he had unmatched with me on tinder and deleted me on snapchat I was surprised and honestly a little offended let me start this by saying that usually I'm pretty chill if he had simply said something like I don't think we are compatible and don't want to meet up again I would have been fine with it however we had made plans to meet again so I was left wanting an explanation and some closure I didn't know his last name but he told me just enough about his job that I was able to find him on his school's staff directory at first I didn't think it was him because the first names were different however I cross-referenced the names on Facebook and found his profile his profile photo showed him with a woman I found the woman's profile and discovered that she is actually his wife and is seven months pregnant I also found their target baby registry I was incredibly surprised in retrospect his shady behavior no profile photo on tinder only using snapchat to communicate immediately delete all of the evidence after we hooked up made a lot of sense to be honest I'm not really upset what we did was purely physical and I'm not emotionally attached to him in any way I think he's in a four stepping out on his wife but no true harm was done to me so I don't feel the need to get revenge however several of my friends have told me that I have an obligation to inform his wife of her husband's cheating based on how well he covered his tracks I'm sure he has done this before I do not want the drama in my experience people often blame the bearer of bad news and I did nothing wrong in addition because he unmatched me on tinder and deleted me on snapchat I only have a few messages from him as proof of his infidelity I'm not even sure if his wife would believe me at this point my question to you guys is would I be there for not reaching out to his wife and telling her of his cheating basically my parents her parents and nearly all my friends are calling me therefore breaking up with my pregnant girlfriend it's my kid so just looking for perspective here I'll keep things as objective as possible and happily accept my final judgment three months ago we found out that my girlfriend or X now is pregnant it was a big surprise since we take precautions c.b.c but she said it might have been a broken C plus she was bad about staying on BC routinely regardless it was confirmed she's pregnant I'm 21 and she's 20 I took the news badly at first I became surly didn't talk and just kept to myself for two whole days right after she told me I was terrified and did not want to be a father at all I just needed time to adjust to the news I think she expected happiness from both of us as she imagined I'd scoop her up and kiss her and cry tears of happiness after hearing she's pregnant I know this because she even referenced that scene in the office where Pam June find out they're having a baby our relationship during this time was extremely rocky because she wanted us to be engaged before the baby came and I dragged my feet I took her to all of her appointments paid for as much as I could afford and was there 24/7 for anything she needed I guess it was more emotional connection that I just couldn't force through and she could tell a few weeks ago she sits me down and tells me she lost the baby she says she had stomach cramps and then she miscarried I was asking her a lot of health questions I didn't know if a miscarriage this late into a pregnancy was normal and she kind of waves me off and is like don't worry I'm okay after this our relationships getting slightly better only because I'm slightly more relaxed now she could tell and asks me to be honest about how I feel about the miscarriage I tell her I'm sad it's happened so suddenly and mostly still worried for her but deep down I'm really relieved because i 100% wasn't ready to be a father wrong answer she starts screaming crying throwing things at me she says she's not miscarried that it was a test to see my dedication and I've failed it completely in short we fought for like three whole days after this with little sleep because she'd randomly throw cups of icy water on me if I dozed off at the end of that I said I can't do this anymore and broke up with her I told her I'll be there for the baby and I'll pay my share of whatever is needed but I can't be her boyfriend and I can't marry her now friends and family are all telling me that I overreacted that it's just pregnancy hormones and could I blame her everyone's saying things like you can't leave a 20 year old girl to be a single mother but I know that if I married her it could be the worst mistake of my life and my fear this is about my sister-in-law he and I both have more siblings but all are male she was pregnant when my husband and I were engaged I got pushed into hosting her baby shower and my then famke decided last minute to make lemonade and mixed up my lemon flavored Crystal Light with my caffeinated not even lemon flavored Crystal Light I didn't know about this and she had a lot of caffeine that day probably about 600 to 800 milligrams she lost her baby a short while later I don't think caffeine is dangerous I used it with my chore the jury was out and the family let it go I haven't heard anything more about this incident until now my husband and I got married and too quickly had two children Irish twins she seemed kind of sour towards me but I never understood why I didn't make the drink in the first place and either I know her doctors think caffeine was the problem to be honest I'm very used to being the only skirt in the room I don't really understand what it is to compete with another woman outside of a professional context so I just kind of assumed close female familial relationships were like that she's apparently having issues having more children and needs a surrogate now she's demanding that I provide my uterus because I owe her and had an easy time with it I don't I had an easy enough time but if I'm going through pregnancy it's my child we've had multiple tools and emails now I don't think she's mentally well enough to have a child anyway she got me riled up enough with the accusations and demands that I responded to an a fan threat to force me by saying that nine months is a long time to cage someone and thank God for planned parenthood because she needs therapy and not a baby and I certainly wasn't supporting it she went off on me for my beliefs called me some choice names and hung up I'm not doing it either way but a Maivia for this my husband and I married for three years together for seven had our first child three weeks ago she is perfect and everything I could ever wish for even if she is a handful however unfortunately her birth was complicated I have always been a private person and very terrified of pregnancy due to her admittedly low but to me nonetheless scary risks associated my husband knows this and I specifically asked him when we found out about this pregnancy that he tried to help me lower my stress levels since the pregnancy itself would already be causing me significant stress he succeeded at this during almost all of my pregnancy he was always very calm even when he had a bad work day and was upset he put up with me when I cried over silly things like wanting one specific brand of food that was sold out he made sure I was comfortable at home and rarely had to go out when I was too big to do so comfortably we agreed on from the start that he would be the only person in the delivery room with me no parents no family no friends just us and the medical staff however on the day I was admitted to the hospital his mother who is usually a very very nice lady just has her moments cried to him that it was unfair she would not witness the birth of this grandchild my husband has an older sister with two kids and she was in the delivery room for both of them my husband tried to get me to agree to having her in the delivery room I said no and figured that would be the end of it after a long exhausting painful labor when my doctor announced my daughter was crowning I saw the door open and my mother-in-law coming no medical staff got up to stop her my husband was next to me and I clung to his arm and told him to get her out he tried to argue with me that she should be allowed to see the birth of her grandchild I started panicking hard like I said I'm a private person and did not want my mill staring into my lady bits while I was so vulnerable and exposed I kept saying to my husband take her outside please get her out of here please please but he would not budge a nurse finally noticed how much I was panicking and stressing and immediately should everyone expect me and the staff out of the room this included my husband my daughter was born soon after but because of the mill situation he did not get a witness the birth he was very upset at me during the hospital stay saying I didn't allow him to see his child be born I feel awfully guilty because I did what my husband in there but he should not have let his mother in it's been almost three weeks since we have been back home and he still acts coldly towards me sometimes and Maivia many years ago I was married to man named Mark two years into the marriage I found out he was cheating on me and got the other woman pregnant it was a huge blow because I too was pregnant with his child I was only nine weeks remnants and was determined to abort a child and divorce him he begged me to reconsider and insisted I'd give our relationship the second chance and so I did albeit reluctantly I had a very unhappy pregnancy and when I was six months pregnant I learned that he never stopped seeing the other woman he told me that he was torn and that he was in love with both of us I wasn't willing to tolerate any of that [ __ ] so I moved out and filed for divorce I wanted him to disappear from my life but being pregnant with his child made things difficult I never bonded with the baby and the baby being his offspring contributed to the negative emotions that I felt I told him that I didn't want this baby so when he got together with the other woman I gave her the choice to adopt the baby which she did with that I officially signed over my parental rights as soon as the girl turned six months old I left the day she was born when I left I told mark that I didn't want anything to do with a girl and the other woman was free to be her mother I moved to another country and tried to leave that part of my life behind I met a wonderful man and we got married he knew all about my past and now we have three wonderful kids who are nine five and two years old recently my ex Mark contacted me out of the blue and told me that my biological daughter who is 14 now wants to meet me apparently his wife had passed away and before she died she confessed that she wasn't her biological mother I'm torn I don't want to meet this kid it was very difficult for me to leave that part of my life behind I was depressed for years I reminded him that I gave up my parental rights years ago and that I wanted nothing to do with both of them I planned on telling my kids about their half sibling once they were grown and mentally mature not right now when they are still so little I told him to never contact me again and hanged up and Maivia so right now I'm in kind of a bad situation I've been treating my ex-fiance pretty cold and demanding a paternity test for the child she's caring all of my friends are saying I'm being a major idiot but I don't feel that way here's a story I knew my ex for almost 10 years we go back all the way to high school and have been friends after we graduated I said Duquette and asked her out and we became a couple we dated for almost six years before she came to me and told me she was pregnant I won't lie I loved her at the time and this was actually quite exciting to me so I proposed she however seemed super worried i sat down and talked with her about it I told her that even if she did decide to terminate the pregnancy I would be by her side and still wanted to marry her she was super awkward about it but decided to keep the child and accepted my proposal these past seven months have been a roller coaster she moved in with me and we began getting ready for our daughter's birth and we were planning on getting married after she is born that was until a few weeks ago an old acquaintance from high school reached out to me I was never good friends with him but he said that he felt guilty about letting an innocent man suffer for his and my ex's mistakes this guy claimed that he was the father of my ex's child and that my ex had been lying to me it turns out that my ex and him got reacquainted about a year ago and started having s around that time my ex got pregnant they began having unprotected s he is not lying about this he sent me photos of them together and showed me texts between the two of them I was able to get my ex's phone and confirmed they were real along with this he sent me a string of FAFSA book messages of my ex admitting to lying to me because I make more money that the real father and she would rather I care for it suffice to say I was very angry I confronted her she cried I cried it was a mess in the end I broke it off then and there and evicted her from my apartment she's in the process of moving out now but I have not said a single word to her I have pretty much told her that I want her out of my life I also demanded a DNA test the minute the child is born if it is mine I'll help her support it if not then I'm never seeing her again I've been cold to her and her parents has tried multiple times to work it out with me but I've refused any contact with them at one point she got all of her friends together to try to talk to me and I kicked them out of the apartment with threats of calling the police anytime she's tried to reconcile I've shut it down my friends are saying I'm in wrong here according to them she's pregnant and because of that I should at least be helping her till the baby is born even if it isn't mine I disagree fully but I could be wrong am i letting my own emotions hide the fact from me that I'm onna

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 45,590

Rating: 4.8929935 out of 5

Keywords: reddit pregnancy, intentional pregnancy, got pregnant intentionally, reddit pregnant, reddit girl, reddit woman, reddit relationship, askreddit girl, askreddit pregnant, pregnancy stories, pregnancy, r/ girl, r/ pregnant, best of r/, pregnant intentionally

Id: R4DTVXyFEog

Length: 20min 37sec (1237 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 12 2020