Best of the Worst: New Releases!

foreign here here there yes he does suck Josh welcome to best of the worst oh thanks Rich uh would you like to tell us about our first movie today [Music] for the record this is a fake DVD we have printed out yes the description on the back it comes straight from IMDb yes these are accurate it is the official description of the movie okay so Josh tell us about Mega lightning well Mega lightning whoo after a violent thunderstorm scares a house party [Music] official you say after a violent thunderstorm sounds thunderstorm scares a house party the dogs are like playing poker my next turn freaks out it's just happening the lights go out and it's just all right I'm gonna go from the top again yeah because it's it's all one sentence uh after a violent thunderstorm scares a house party the guests flee to a nearby home for shelter only to discover a more Sinister hand is at play poker now they can't escape the stranger's home due to the thunderstorm but they can't stay inside due to the danger that follows them oh okay I mean I've seen some bad thunderstorms in my time but nothing that's kept me inside a house at least against my will is this the worst excuse to trap protagonists in a house with a serial killer and they can't leave because uh lightning yeah lightning I don't know all right great let's see what modern pad filmmaking has in store for us very unexcited for this just gonna put that there because it's not real let's go watch it I can do it on my phone right now we don't have to go anywhere oh okay yeah yeah that's watching a movie on your [ __ ] phone sucks oh my God [Music] this is mildly interested huh oh my God Jesus all right PNG image oh God what the [ __ ] oh no well Rich here's another fake DVD cover why don't you tell us all about it all right uh we have fight of Fury [Music] shunny B gives it his all to stop human trafficking oh oh his name is shunny B hmm beat films presents okay okay okay what do we got when the master of martial arts X Gorka Soldier uncovers widespread sex trafficking Network is that right yeah yeah when he uncovers widespread sex trafficking sex trafficking Network in his own backyard in Los Angeles oh with the help of runaway victims he orchestrates a massive attack on the traffickers I mean straightforward idea um a little garbled do you think it's literally in his own backyard I hope it's a low budget film yeah it's probably literally in his own backyard because that would be the easiest thing to do yeah he's just out there getting the laundry off the line oh my God sex traffic all right okay great all right let's go let's go watch Skeleton Man oh no no no no no no no no no no no no let's watch uh Skeleton Man is in that case Skeleton Man is in that case what's in the case for Mega what's in the no it's Skeleton Man oh it's a skeleton Madness so got that Shredder take care of this nip this right in the bud I'm gonna we have it I'm gonna shove my head at it but we're done with this you sure you don't want to do that right now I'm waiting until we're done yeah you could you you don't want to do that we want to wait and watch fight of Fury first all right let's watch fight of Fury okay good good hmm let's go it's like a lava lamp no I don't know oh that's a backyard oh oh yeah yeah it wasn't back here yeah Surf and Rift is grinder it won't be at the end for like a Tinder for pedophiles Kinder Kinder oh it's right there right there that's [ __ ] funny how are you listen carefully in this situation you God have only two options Do or Die come on give it all you got great advice that'll help me physically I mean he's forgetting the third option rape all right uh okay let's let's get this done with huh yeah we got one more to go yeah and I'm gonna be honest it's the one I am the least excited for is going last oh boy we have this fake cover this fake DVD for bird demig three a flock of sea eagles it's terrible I'm already done but I have to continue a flock of sea eagles attack the coastal town of Santa Cruz California why did the Birds attack who will survive that's actually all of it who are the birds Tech why are the Birds attack I can't believe they're the birds attacking how do the birds attack all right let's go watch this okay uh the Skeleton Man oh God we're gonna watch Skeleton Man again we're gonna watch skeleton man instead of verdict I can't believe we watched Skeleton Man three times today I hope it's good [Music] wait wait let me get a close-up now let's get a closer okay we both got close-ups okay let me get a close-up all right yeah starring Casper Van Bean hey yeah not very fun oh yeah oh Friendly Ghost the comedy mildlings if Mike's still classy yeah what was it you were saying earlier a bunch of Comedy sensibilities oh no is it on mute no I think this is the movie it's just Southern California yeah what is this color grading oh that's better now of course oh Focus it looks like it timed out and it went to monitor power safe mode right yes oh exactly you're gonna shake your mouse yeah yeah like I desperate I do I desperately want to shake the mouse it must be Overexposed and he's he tried to fix it like drop off the highlights yeah contrast but he definitely wasn't not in camera because it's changing from shot to shot yeah oh yeah this is post-production yeah thank you because this chord is horribly distracting oh yeah what the [ __ ] I didn't even help me Lord how did it get up there I have no idea how's that where is the rest of it now it's just going up and under my jacket okay as long as it's not gonna well we'll keep an eye on it yeah keep an eye on it sure how did it get up there I don't know this is madness I thought you did that on purpose oh my God I hate when it Lightnings indoors oh tonight means we're we're never gonna run out of material that's the good news bad news is we're never gonna run out of material we're cursed we're cursed to do this there will always be an incompetent human beings to make feature films yeah yeah well even in post-production like the editing of old movies when they shot on film like you had to learn how to use that equipment now anyone is you can get uh Da Vinci resolved for free and you could just use a like a high high resolution camera and just not understand any of the settings that you're using yeah just start just hit record and just hope for the best and then just release a movie with completely inconsistent like exposure levels I think I think we're all kind of stuck because we watch these films in the order from a screen left to right as you see them displayed we watched birdemic recently in our lifetimes uh and so we're stuck on this like nightmare of birdemic 3 but going back this this they're all nightmares Mike no this masterfully told a story compared to birdemic I I had a good time for the first two movies more so the second one but even Mega lightning Mega Lightning's a masterpiece compared to birdemic 3 but we're not going to get there yet we're going to start with verdeme so they are there nope out of the brain oh god oh um Jay do a little graphic where bird dummett comes out of this this ear oh okay are you ready sure you ready yeah editing Jay you ready yeah I'm gonna plug in the effect okay here it goes oh my God how did that happen let's talk about oh Jesus Christ let's talk about Mega lightning Rich tell us all about Mega lightning you know I was hosting you just kind of took over you got you got Infested by the bird in your brain and it just took over well you're okay you're hosting which talk about Mega lightning oh well [ __ ] you both hey we could make you talk about birdemic 3. there's lightning storms that have come across the UK and their killer lightning storms that Target the specific frequency of human bodies and that's just I guess it's just like a new normal thing that happens oh and also there's a serial killer it's very torments me oh wow it has written phonetically in the script that that is introduced earlier but he doesn't come into play until like the last Act of the film because uh uh this dumb bitch's friends come over for a party and they which way it doesn't matter one of the dumb [ __ ] has a party when her other dumb [ __ ] mother they call them Birds well that's that's a whole other movie Mike he's right I the film opens with uh Australian couple in the in the woods ladies the lady and a guy Australian lady in the Aboriginal Australian male she's also a professional photographer yes I was very good at just like throwing her camera in every direction she's just taking she was the DPM birdemic three that's sure sure this is amazing walking and through the woods on a bright sunny clear day looking at the sky I guess taking pictures he's got a pke detector yeah it's a stud finder I think it might actually be a stud finder oh my God and we know there's a storm coming because you know there's no rain and no clouds in the sky beautifully sunny but to keep talking about the storms that are coming and they're horrible horrible storms and the lady doesn't seem too worried about it until the lightning starts chasing them like a movie monster through the woods to have effects this bad in this day and age [Music] oh [Music] just in case oh my God this is shocking literally I was like you're not you're not even trying to make a pun he's not a mega Lady it's like Suburban Sasquatch level effects but that was like a movie he shot on his camcorder in yeah it's weird to see those effects in like an HD movie yeah it's like a professional relatively professional feature film oh no it made no sound but yeah like uh lightning hits the house it hits a couple houses and like collapses the roof and it's just like a static 2D image of yeah it's cut it out no it takes a bit just cut it out of the out of the main house yeah so so our first couple gets killed the Australian couple and then we see an American woman whose car is broken down by the side of the road and she's she's accosted by a gentleman who who kidnaps her and then ties her up in like uh his upstairs bedroom because he's a psychopath and he's done this before he has a photo album of what he he says he like uses a very careful incision to kill women with straining their very precise work yes [Music] how could you do that where'd you get those developed look he should be proud of his work I mean it takes a lot of skill to cut somebody with a rubber knife he's insane though it's true I don't like it your joke he has a he has a butcher's knife that is supposed to be like a butcher's knife oh sure but it is it's like almost the size of a machete yeah it's comical and it's so thick and clearly fake why you use that for like a stunt s Sure in the close-ups where is that when you go as Michael Myers for Halloween there you go [Music] don't get a close-up what are you thinking the flashing is still on the edge of the plastic it's like matte it's not even reflective it's not made of metal it's not a rubber knife okay he just uses that knife so much that the blade has gotten very dull very dull what about the Rambo knife at the end look at look at ah another rubber knife that's a different rubber knife that's worse than the other rubber knife holy crap you don't even put that in a like a five-year-old's movie that's amazing next they're gonna use the classic joke store retractable knife yes they never really say exactly where this is set no because we we we're like oh this is an Australian movie because the two first two characters are sound Australian and then and then we cut to the car and there's the redhead girl Meg and her very British sounding boyfriend to where you can't even understand him tattoo guy yeah he and they were like driving we're like these are now British people like very British so look we're talking about the the mega lightning Universe the sequels are gonna explore all the different places across the world that Mega Lightnings have happened right but uh I hope in the future sequels we understand the characters better so we don't have to turn on the [ __ ] subtitles which we did we literally turned on the subtitles because we couldn't understand these weirdos like what Paulie might say about me I'm not a title right as long as you're not getting a cheap side like in college that's how I learned that is surfing around waiting for your Greenlight levels what megas on a date with her boyfriend uh mullet tattoo guy oh yeah very very very I don't know British trash Euro trash I guess he has some sweet tattoos though he's got Bernie Sanders and Tilda Swinton right on his ass why not no they're on a date remember and he's like he's like I think it's time we had make out now and and she's like no I'm not ready and then she talks to her sister her name's bag her sister's name is Corinne yeah I know you had a really bad relationship past relationship take it slow with tattoo guy okay maybe I will the end of story presumably that story thread was further developed in the wonderfully staged scene where she talks to her elderly father we have the subs on for that but but I think we're just we're doing Beatles Impressions and stuff they just need to wear shoes with the rubber soles I'll just go shoot right through I can't even make proper jokes no soul necessary Liverpool what they call the album Rubber Soul so our fans are protected from lightning it's it's it it spells so differently it's a Pun It's a ban ringer I wish I would get struck by lightning [Laughter] if anything can distract ourselves from the boring shot reverse shot of her and her dad we don't talk about too much as blocking and business yeah these are two B words that involve movie making when you have your actors in a scene that's just dialogue you have blocking and business blocking is is characters like where they're shot from which location what they do move around the room stop sit down on the couch get up walk over here well that's business that's business blocking his camera angles and locations businesses well she's going to do this now it's it's a way to make like like like like boring dialogue or expository dialogue work this director says girl comes in kind of half sits on the the arm chair of couch dad sits in the chair Two Shots that's your block back and forth back and forth they never move every scene is if you watch any like professionally produced TV or movie at some point after five or six lines a character will get up move over to the other side of the room sit down that character who was on the couch will get up walk over here it makes it visually interesting for you this director is suck like like the physical embodiment of the concept of sucking it's so bad that at one point we were theorizing there wasn't a Direction thank you just happened I'm I'm I'm a the windmill Cottage fun fact this is the first movie to just not have a director someone hit record and nobody knew what to do and they just figured it out as they went wow yeah yeah we got a script should we read this I don't know I'll just Mumble a bit yeah oh you know cameras on no look it's got a stable camera all right well it's hanging from my girlfriend's nose ring well we just filmed the rehearsals record the movie you're forgetting the whole subplot where the sister's boyfriend wants to go to the jacuzzi they'll get cozy can we just go back in the hot tub now why don't we go back out to the jacuzzi I I related to that man the most bit one because I could understand them [Laughter] and he's like he's like let's go in the foot and jacuzzi and I was like oh I could understand him his words and his motives yeah and his motives and uh and uh he had the dad button not just sad sex he wanted to get in that that warm jacuzzi water and Float those moves and and just just chill out and then lightning got him oh no oh well there could have been worse it didn't explode okay I'm shocked it wasn't worse they're in the middle of the worst thunderstorm that Humanity has ever seen and every every instruction from the authorities is staying stay inside there's lightning that is literally targeting human beings and this guy wants to go out into the [ __ ] jacuzzi God damn it but uh so when the mom the mom and the grandpa the mom that's her husband It's the dad the mom and the dead Grandpa dad Grandpa dad and Meg have some kind of bond yeah I don't know what it is they have a conversation I think it's that uh she's his daughter Maybe or granddaughter yeah or both Meg and Dad have a bond and Mom and Dad Grandma and Grandpa I'm just gonna call them grandma and Grandma because they're old they say we're going out somewhere we know the lightning storm is coming but we booked this trip well in advance that's right so we're gonna go even though the every every uh every station says stay indoors yes but from a viewer's perspective we want the big wild like like teenager party I think it's the the Spiel on the back set us up for a house party yeah a house party do you expect all sorts of yeah like a crazy [ __ ] house party hitting everybody as they run around and explode wild [ __ ] it cheers huh I think in the movie had its way if they could do if the movie could have done whatever the movie wanted to do that's probably the direction they would have gone but this is a shitty low budget movie and they only had eight people like they got eight people yeah that's fair six people really uh two people behind the camera and then it's four people and two of them can't even show up to the party no they don't make it oh my God I don't think he did I'm pretty sure he was breathing and the mom didn't even check yeah no she just ran off I'm gonna say what the mom did was sensible right she's not gonna run and stop check on Dad when the lightning is zapping all around you you need to get your ass to safety but where's safety there is nothing in the house of a serial killer lightning well she doesn't know they stopped their car because they saw that another car had blown up by lightning equal his parents don't try this hard please don't try it's just gonna make things worse there's football real mate and then they go out in the woods and they're not lightning is attracted to the electric or electrical pulse in the human body just ahead oh I like tattoo guys he's like and then it's all also attracted to the roofs low-res jpegs it's attracted to Laura's jpegs we were talking about any sort of dramatic conflict between any character that's not a serial killer what you do is you establish early on in the movie they have a rough relationship they don't get along great and then by the end of the movie when they're confronted with the serial killer they have to work together and they grow a stronger Bond as sisters and that's a movie [Music] foreign [Music] oh my God how did he find us this guy with the headbutts just keep swinging the [ __ ] thing you [ __ ] idiot such an empowering story of women being bad at everything every time after the the the the the serial killer is incredibly efficient with his head butts he's so good at it he also you have to like make contacts no it effects you can move you entirely but it's just I mean maybe it's psychic it's a below the belt no it's above it's literally above the belt you're right oh that's right that's right alert let's just bend there the whole time it's too wore out to pick it up oh my God I'm so tired from failing at everything oh oh they just went to a Party City yeah and just found this energy [Music] oh Jesus they have a sound effect sorry was the idea was the sword supposed to be so heavy she could barely lift it yeah what was happening yeah no he's gonna pick up yep yep [Music] yep here it comes oh she pushed him into the she knew where the lightning was she that's my actual agency this director is suck well for all might but your kidney job selling you up now Rich you put the [ __ ] in Cockney I put the [ __ ] in my mouth what why would you say that the Camp Rock [Laughter] I think I'm not editing [Laughter] can you be special guest editor for just that one line you could somehow find a way to stretch it out to 15 minutes [Laughter] yeah who's that guy that does like the remixes of stuff for your videos and does music too yeah he's gonna have a field day with that get my mom I put the [ __ ] in my mouth one movie down we're a third of the way there I'm down I'm really down fight a fury this was a one that was approved and recommended by multiple people calling from Canada uh Len cavazinski or old friend Lynn cabezinski I know he's a fan of it um classic black tank top movie in terms of writer director delusional star wears a black tank top where's literally where's the black tank top in it really it happens his name is sunnybee and he made fight of Fury in 2020. Josh no it's the main plot of fighter Fury well in fighter Fury uh soon B is sugar B honeybee we were calling him honeybee yeah this is a real name Shani shunny B okay what's his name in the film shunny well no his name in the film is Brandon what even though even though there's like text behind him in his his dojo that says Johnny B are you kidding his name is Brandon in the film yeah and Brandon nice to meet you nice to meet you too [Music] watch me take this man down in 36 moves so Chevy B has a dojo and he's teaching all these ladies how to self-defend mainly by slapping and uh meanwhile there's uh Taylor Swift is getting chased by the uh formal rape club and their Chase they chase her uh to the back of shinny B's dojo and he uh Bruce leaves the [ __ ] out of all of them at one at a time Taylor's not so Swift hey so he he Bruce Lee is the one man because they tried to get tickets to her concerts or Ticketmaster cheers to a dated joke [Music] oh God oh my God oh my God all of those rapists they all get nicely dressed up Chinese oh my God what is he like five feet tall or is he was shocking is there a step down oh my god oh my God teleport everybody's stand there oh my God Jay when I said the other formal rape club I'm not just talking about the dress right right wow Taylor Swift is having a hell of a night it's it's an amazing action sequence the choreography is beautiful and yeah editing acting performance everything is great about this it was most assuredly not a surreal Dreamscape in which all the dialogue is overdubbed with an echo effect maybe this particular technique works for her but again for him or he they had a filter to make the sound worse yeah that's the weird thing about this is the whole movie has an echo on it and there's random jump cuts it feels like a nightmare yeah and this is specifically edited by shiny B he is giving he's got the credit okay so yeah oh my God we only have five frames what do we do maybe edited it using Kung Fu or something I think he's just incompetent not intentional he's sitting there with his keyboards he has no idea what he's doing and providing the keyboard with nunchucks hair film 80 yard doesn't have a long story the question I have is though why go for the echo at all it's very clearly a post-production it's a choice because it's you're doing the you're doing the audio and post you can be in a nice sound booth it's not bad sound but they chose to put that echo on there you take things a little too soon seriously right chillax I got this all right my only theory is that they thought that it would sound too because ADR can sound kind of like dead and weird if you don't don't like mix it in properly yeah so my only the only thing I can think of is that they did it because they thought it would make it sound more natural like he's in a real room yeah there's a level of read where you can mix in that does sound fairly natural and you just have to mix it down and do it properly and he did not necessarily know how to do that no but I was going to say he like in the Dojo or in a certain environment a little bit of Reverb is good but then they're like in the open air they're outside also there's more reverbs yes that should be dead because he reminded me of my childhood well tollywood there are all walks of life here what's the plot of fighter Fury so tell us about the plot he says so Taylor Swift has escaped from the the the sex trafficking ring and apparently although she never mentions it to anybody she has some sort of integral hard drive that has oh yeah data [Music] ever brought up again by that same character a few times but only him let's talk about the origins of sex trafficking in this movie's logic a couple of ladies go out to their local uh local whatever it seems like a crossover effort it's like a Chinese restaurant but it seems like it's got like yeah empanadas and pakoras like a couple hours they have that each lady has a glass of wine all right [Music] is that your phone yeah what the hell you wanna answer what oh ecstasy okay oh he crimmed up an ecstasy pill ow yeah just drink it I don't know complete stranger weird powder from a stranger but [Music] who would have thought this would go bad a Chooch guy Beefcake Beefcake he's like a cast member from the Jersey Shore hello Dante did you kill that [ __ ] he comes over and he's like he's like hey my easy what a party and and he's like terrible overdub yeah yeah can I please put drugs into all of your dreams and they're like no we're okay we're just have a girl's night out nope too bad I'm in here anyway why don't you try this box this mystery box I have looks like a phone it's a phone case or something a cell phone sideways why is your box labeled roofies all the ladies faint and then they end up in in the sex trafficking ring and this movie's Logic the sex trafficking ring means if you wake up in a sex trafficking ring you are suddenly like you just accept it you get put on a little slinky dress I've taken some some classes where you learn how to walk and pose you're addicted to drugs immediately it's like becoming a vampire no you get bit by a vampire and suddenly you're you're okay every night to kill somebody to drink Allure of being an escort is all-encompassing you'd be you're just like I don't know when you watch the movie it does look very glamorous it is glamorous yeah they're hanging out in front of the art museum or whatever that is almost nervous my first time too that was like that was last week so so I guess I'm okay now [Music] it's good to see you Prince again it's nice to have like an upbeat kind of fun song for forced prostitution Like It just fits the tone right yeah a Chic and Fraser crane meanwhile SUNY V is raising his daughter by himself the wife is out of the picture oh and maybe dead or not he never came back to that didn't they nope it's established earlier on we thought because the first scene he comes in to see his daughter and it's a very beautifully acted scene where she says I miss Mom and she has a great monologue I'm sorry dogs I had to take care of some business I couldn't sleep I was thinking about Mom it's too bad I can't see you anymore I miss her so much I want to see her smile at me I want to see her mad at me I want to see her do everything moms do with their kids every day [Music] just close your eyes and try oh tomorrow we'll get you enrolled in acting classes I just assumed it was partly written but I assumed the point was that she was dead but then they make a point later on and saying that she's still around somewhere we don't know where and then poof she got ripped and murdered by human traffickers no well she was nine months pregnant with my unborn son I'm so sorry I didn't know but she's not dead but she is it's just a school girl economy and fighting against a terrorist in Afghanistan when it happened he says she's been sex trafficked while he was away in Afghanistan but I thought he said she was too killed no no no or I don't know I don't know we don't know these are Mysteries left for a later date for the next episode remember when he cries [Music] at Griffith's Observatory he's crying at the Griffith Observatory he's talking about his dead wife I think Michael has [ __ ] up the name of that place is crying because they showed up and said do you have shooting permits this is Hollywood baby I got I got a cell phone what's a shooting permit I don't understand I don't need to shoot I do karate right in the corner of Glen Arm and Pasadena I'm a memory fighter I have an upcoming fight I heard about you and your fighting system I need to train me great thank you so much I gotta ride this bike over there what a great phone call there's an MMA fighter that wants to train with shooting B yes uh no he never shows up again he's probably just still on that bike won't get there I'm gonna get there not realizing the bike is stationary and he can't leave he thought it was a real bike yeah he's like I can't I gotta get to the dojo I got this how about him what was the way to that scene well because he's the MMA fighter that's going to fight the dude with the weird hair yeah who's in charge of the prostitution no no no female prostitute MMA fighter there is a split when you get kidnapped by these people you gotta you get two paths you can go into the you can go into the sex trafficking or you can get into the foxy boxing and and these these MMA fighters are angry because well oh God I mean I get what the sex traffickers are mad because the girl has the hard drive allegedly I don't really understand why this the MMA fighters are uh that pissed the only one who had a hard drive was honeybee what for Taylor Swift because you remember that awkward scene when he wrestled with her honeybee Ze [Music] and then I'll get off you let you invite me to dinner at your cancer within dad's house that's when the Spanish guitar kicks in that's yes that was an amazing scene when he went over to their house for dinner though and you couldn't understand a word they were saying because the music was mixed too loud I just want to thank [Music] seriously maybe he doesn't know you can adjust the volume in your editing software yeah he just Imports just drops it that's why the Echoes on simple whoever was using the program before him just left it on apply to all tracks yeah he looks miserable to be trying to act he's just on his [ __ ] phone Sunny V's looking at the script that was the script right yeah it looked like a little screenplay format yeah he never did quite like seal a deal with the girl did he well not in this movie not in this movie not in a luck love making sense you don't need to resolve everything Mike there's a lot of things you got to leave room for because this is the beginning of the shiny B Cinematic Universe yeah this is this this will eventually will turn into Rhema Williams The Adventure Continues his daughter's probably gonna have her own Adventures because we know she kicks ass what what's happening hey Maya do your homework why didn't you do it yourself You Talk Too Much Charlie giant mouse get it oh my God child fight [Laughter] [Music] these are the kids in honeybees class yeah there's a tiger in the room you missed a child fight sequence [Music] uh what what is this why is this on the radio hey yeah don't you know what what what what just happened what what what what what what what I don't know I don't know what there's hard drive girl but we've never seen the hard drive no hey remember when we see that little kid doing karate for like two seconds yeah that's why he's late that's why he's late to the Griffith Observatory yeah because they were filming a movie they were filming in Hollywood Boulevard um a boy was doing nunchuck nunchaku oh so the the traffickers are still after uh Taylor Swift because apparently she has a hard drive but the main guys are also coming after shouldn't be for some reason I don't know if they want to they want to sabotage the other MMA guy that Sunny B is training yeah I don't know what you're talking about don't play [ __ ] dumb with me you [ __ ] and so they kidnapped Sunny B's daughter okay because they don't know that he never made it to study these Dojo they don't know that he stole the others still on that bike they're going on the Intel they have here we are come on Maya Daddy's waiting for you run away from Tim Burton I believe all of this take that Eric but Goshen [Music] guys you know you don't have to do that you can go around it Tim Burton is one of the crime people uh uh James E ha uh from the Smashing Pumpkins no no but in this movie yeah he's got the like he's like remember when they're uh the processors are out in front of the art museum and there's the I I remember the the the the Chic yeah you were too distracted you were you were Rocking the Casbah maybe I was rocking the cat box so okay okay eventually shouldn't be discovers uh some of the henchmen hanging out in a dirty Sanford and Son backyard oh yeah that filthy filthy backyard there's just crap everywhere made me want to puke [Music] now there's a bottle of antifreeze on the barber chair don't hurt Flynn wool part yeah there's just [ __ ] laying around Yeah clean up your set well it's someone's nastiest backyard I mean sure it's probably they should be like gang members and not like guys in suits yeah they run an international oh my God criminal organization [Music] oh is this cocaine guy yes yeah he's doing those splits and he's real coked up let's go it's kind of neat that he uses a drone to scout it out but there's not much of a payoff to that no he just immediately walks through the kicks defense store open I think he just wanted to show off that he owns a drone yeah well you can use it for two one because he had to get it back to James Wynn to make birdemic three I said James eha to make the next Smashing Pumpkins drones for their pathetic videos now they just set the camera on a tripod raid the the Wardrobe closet of the local community theater tell somebody to bring their kids over take that Billy Billy Corgan your music videos [ __ ] suck you're an embarrassment to the city of Chicago in more ways than five have you seen that clip of Billy Corgan on stage just like eating chips yeah that was here was that here yeah that's at the Rave or wherever oh we're at the Riverside or wherever they were but that's Milwaukee oh God he just goes back during the show during the concert he's just like he's one chips on this thing I'm not mad during the song uh well we're gonna We're not gonna show that clip here no no it's too embarrassing we wouldn't want to put Billy Gorgon through that I've seen it so many times we wouldn't show that what is the the someone tweeted it this is like despite all my rage I'm still eating chips on the stage or something so after he uh beats up all the henchmen in the dirty backyard he goes inside and frees the sex traffickers oh yeah or the sex trafficked women rather yes and then they go back to their favorite restaurant where they'd been earlier empanadas they cannot resist those empanadas are look good they were big and delicious but they said no more red wine no all drinking water because a guy from the Jersey Sharp with powder in our red wine last time we were here at the empanadas beats him up I'm doing good how you doing you're not doing good your daughter's been kidnapped yeah now safe now going back to the restaurant where you got drugged and forced the Constitution Al Choice like full choice if you teach him how to fish you'll never go hungry you know what I'm trying to say hey what happened to your daughter what who stop seamless seamless that's enough probably little girl good night get that like it was like going off yeah I did yeah well I thought you got murdered because uh old old uh Burton Keith Richards elderly man with dyed black hair it was like hey little lady I'm gonna take a needle put it in your arm and then it like Cuts Like a cloud and then it comes into a completely different it's like an oral syringe of plastic and they said to go to sleep now little lady good night to Cleveland yeah [Applause] [Applause] and then we get the same footage from the beginning of the movie Where should he bees teaching the women how to slap fight their attackers this is all the result of editing your movie using Kung Fu this is what happens don't kick your computer don't don't karate kick your computer your scenes are gonna get [ __ ] up gouges eyes after he teaches the women how to defend themselves again he gets kidnapped off screen yes who gets scared [Music] wait oh he just gets dragged out of a car with a blindfold on it just the car just pulls up to one of the crime guys houses and he's just in the back seat they pull up to Burt Reynolds house for Boogie Nights you wouldn't think we're almost done but we're almost we should point out at this point in the movie there's a big confrontation on the front uh driveway you bastard listen up I fear no fear so should we be kills the uh sex traffic Bruno or whatever his name is he the raps his sword up in a nunchuck and presses his own sword against his neck with his nunchucks something happens in the stroller yeah the best part of the movie yeah absolutely what's up I am just another ninja fighting Huntington Beach and Mike Mike happened to put his feet up so Mike Mike kicked his feet up on the coffee table and just happened to kick the mouse we were watching the digital copy of the movie and it brought up the time left in the movie and it was one minute and we were like wait a minute the story isn't even close to being over I was there a minute left oh my god really a minute 56. that doesn't make sense they have the movie on their phone yeah sir we've seen this we got the MMA plot we haven't seen the other MMA fighter in ages hard drive I'm coming after you I'm gonna attract you to find you oh my god Cliffhanger I think no [ __ ] way it's a fury too yeah I'm legitimately shocked I refuse to believe this oh how do you do that why do you do that that's unbelievable oh my God three cinematographers wow I don't believe that yeah I believe he edited though I totally believe that oh yeah they just didn't film an ending and I wonder was it intended to be a set of her sequel or did he just run out of time to make the movie because he had to get back to his dojo to teach a class foreign [Music] before we talk about birdemic 3 should we establish our history with birthday that's what I was gonna do okay rudely interrupted our history with bird demig what do you think you are Jay the host I'm just trying to get some structure here because this is about to start okay well it's funny you should talk about structure no structure in being a nightmare so birdemic 3. yeah uh our history with the bird democ series is that we've seen the first one I I haven't uh well I haven't even seen the first one okay well we watched the first one in the movie theater yes we went to a midnight screening this was in the early days so it's like oh birdemic it's the new the room because when people talk about like famous bad movies it's the room Troll 2 and bird demick are like the three big ones yeah I was like nope but I think we all I hated it so much I just got drunk and fell asleep in the theater because I did not enjoy it at all what is it called oriental the Oriental Theater in Milwaukee the famous Oriental Theater in Milwaukee Wisconsin beautiful theater It's a Wonderful many great midnight movies oh absolutely wasn't one of them 2001. yeah that was a good time kind of the first birdemic kind of felt like people that didn't get why B movies are funny uh accumulating or attracting towards a movie that that wasn't right yeah it's like they're trying to make them like a like a cult movie just out of sheer like will or something because it's bad bad but it's a cult movie with a message which a lot of cult movies are just exploitative and just you know don't really have a lot going on there's a message behind birdemic which is that the environment is in trouble yeah yeah but but only at the end I thought you were going to make some kind of joke that's so lame that's so [ __ ] lame what do we have to save the environment for so people can make more movies like bird democrine for [ __ ] Birds the first bird damic film I think was like a couple of characters and they're in love and and he's doing a whole there was a whole like weird side bit about like a Hitchcock tribute because he really likes Hitchcock oh yeah the director James win really clearly he mentions it many times in this movie too many times I was going down Highway 101 last week and I had to stop and get gas at a gas station in San Juan 50s movies no maybe black and white like just like how when it was produced in the film vertigo uh no my movies were good back then they didn't let people make movies like this it looks almost exactly like it did when they filmed vertigo in 1958 except there's one thing that was there that isn't there now really what is it well you'll have to come with me to San Juan Bautista to find out oh he's smooth for now and cut I don't know about birdemic too no one here has saw it well I I will say this I I put in preparation for talking about birdemic three I put bird demick on an editing timeline and just skimmed through it to kind of refresh my memory and then I put birdemic 2 on a timeline and skimmed through it just so I'd have some sort of frame of reference and now we've watched birdemic 3. this crazy bastard made the same [ __ ] movie three times it's the exact same thing what happens the businessman Meets Girl they have romance they go out and have awkward dance scene and then Birds attack oh and then they go to a hotel room and to have all the hotel awkward awkward intercourse and then Birds attack that's all three movies but the uh I I don't know I didn't watch all of the second movie but the first movie the bird attacks are kind of sprinkled throughout yeah yeah um this movie this movie that doesn't happen this movie goes on for an hour of awkward romance between these NPCs it's not the whole story they're actually dying because of cancer because of the ocean acidification that's why one of them washed up on shore that's trapped that's Trap by the way Clearly say that's tragic biologist then Marine awesome I'm actually a scientist too this is this director's fourth feature film [Music] um are you having a nice time is this and I know we say this a lot but with no exaggeration is this the worst movie that we've ever watched well it got to the point that we have we are concerned that it's not actually a movie yes and we were considering the option of going yeah it's kind of similar to the pornography argument I know it when I see it yeah I know that this is not a movie I know a movie when I see it bird demon three ain't it of the planet Earth to the point of Extinction they did a jump cut for no reason they didn't even say anything I'm not very good at this and it might sound cliche but ever since I met you Kim it feels like my life has been uplifted oh God I can't that's wonderful I can't stand this at present the human race is facing an existential crisis she's the greatest threat to life on Earth and back foreign use of that Dolly oh yeah oh yeah don't let your subject get out of the frame oof oof oh my God Dancing with Stars that's the first time I've ever felt like physical pain like normally it's just like mental anguish but I'm starting to feel like physical pain where were they going where was oh whatever they're just going around Jay are you like California logic Hey You Gotta Give me something no they don't they don't have to they don't have to do anything they're not legally obligated to you I'm looking for a movie yeah looking for a movie and so far I've not found one I what is the legal what is the legal definition of the movie I don't know if there is a legal definition I don't think there ever has been should we sue the bird democrators so we can just so we can set a precedence yeah what is it releases as a movie but it's clearly not a movie that's not bad [Music] oh God we can call all sorts of experts we'll get Scorsese in there oh God guarantino he'll have some opinions oh yeah this is not cinnamon Marvel will be just thrown out yeah no we'll call Patton and start with Patton we got a plan Mike we got a great idea we're taking James one to court because we feel that this is technically not a movie there needs to be a little precedence for what is considered a movie we're gonna make it happen this is people walking out and saying environment oh yes going up to strangers and going what are you doing environment environment environment environment poorly executed and poorly acted on top of that recently the acidity levels in the ocean have been rising that's why the sea lions and whales are getting cancer and dying I have to capture the beauty of this place before it's all gone a few years ago it was very rare to find sharks in a Santa Cruz ocean right okay but now because of global warming and climate change depicts melting ice in the Arctic in Antarctica due to global warming so that's why I started a company called code red technology to fix it so tragic this global warming climate change we'd have to do something about this damn global warming well we better fix global warming this this fails incompetence and and on a technical level that's the first thing that I had like exposure problems yes yes so we should talk about that uh he clearly shot it on two different cameras are you okay one is like whatever normal consumer prosumer grade camera but then the other one we weren't sure like the image looks my I theorized that he shot it in log format which is when the image looks flat right out of the camera so you have the most range to work with in color grading and they didn't know how to properly color grade log footage so it looks weird and dark one looks like properly oh or one looks like a camera should look and then one looks like 24 stops down and we're cutting between the two in the same scene what are you doing yeah and then the audio is different between the two yeah I'm not very good at this and it might sound cliche but ever since I met you Kim honestly my feeling was with that and we had talked about it briefly on the screen but my feeling is that he learned just enough about how technology has improved since he made the first movie to make it so much worse here are more options I'm going to I'm not going to say he's deliberately making this bad but I I will say he has no incentive to get better because his movies are popular for being bad movies I got that feeling with the bird attack stuff which is at the very end of the movie where it's like oh people like the plug-in bird effects from the first movie so I'm just gonna do that again technology has come so far along that you could do much more realistic bird plug-ins and like you know definitely like you could do a better job has a gun yeah they're that way can't you try just a little bit nope oh that was my favorite why did that happen [Music] the bird demic aspect of this movie feels like uh like obligatory like I guess I have to put this in I don't want to make another bird movie I just want to make a movie about climate change but now because of global warming and climate change it's after an hour of just this is these two [ __ ] wandering around up to people and just like hey you are doing a thing yeah the environment yeah that's literally that over and over and over again well we better fix global warming look at this get the snow behind me environment the Earth's atmosphere here's how it works no and I I think and we've often said like when you make a movie Bad on purpose it's not entertaining but I think if someone made an intentionally Bad birdemic sequel it would be more entertaining than this this is not bad in like a oh we made a bad movie on purpose wink winky kind of like which is terrible which is yeah no this feels like a genuine failure yeah if you if you it feels like a lazy failure but if if you made a bad an intentionally bad breedemic movie it would have more story than this yeah yeah this feels like it comes from a very sincere Place yeah and it's terrible about climate change for an hour before anything happens yeah I think I was just lazy vertica it's actually not just Hitchcock's greatest movie according to a 2012 survey by the influential Sight and Sound magazine the film industry movie critics and academics voted vertigo the greatest film of all time surpassing Citizen Kane this is like what I'm saying about snowfalls where you just copy and paste Wikipedia into skirt snowfalls look like well this is yeah but this is a step away from having AI just write your movie yeah that's yeah have you seen any clips of That Seinfeld AI like that's what this feels like who knows maybe they think they will reduce the late night Bagel craving munchies the world may never know well I guess that is one way to combat late night snacking did you know there's actually nine mechanisms of Aging no it's actually 724 trillion cells in the human body that's a lot yeah can we be done with birdemic can this just stop we've had three movies now like after the room everyone was like okay we're done with Tommy was so he made a couple other things but nobody gave a [ __ ] can we just stop with the birdemic stuff don't encourage this yes we have to accept Our Fate it is death where this is a public service announcement we're doing a public service to say don't watch birdemic 3 and it's it's really unfortunate because it's produced by Severin which is a boutique Blu-ray label that I like a lot they do great work they put out some of the best block sets they've hitched their wagon to the bird demig franchise and I wish they wouldn't it's very depressing it is it's it's it's a sad State of Affairs it's such a sadness it's a such a sadness this is the worst thing I've ever seen because it's the worst thing literally it's the worst thing I've ever seen in my whole life you're gonna vote for it aren't you oh yeah all right oh hi is that a rose what that's a Galaxy it's actually a galaxy galaxy oh my God his poor eyesight yes due to climate change [Laughter] well we'll do okay best of the worst we'll start with Rich we'll go this way I'm going with uh fights of Fury is the best of the worst today because it gave us a bizarre interesting character who's a real person is a classic black spine it's a classic Classic Fun Classic uh black tank top I was saying when we're watching it that this could have been a spotlight yeah a lot of weird lots of unpacked in fight of Fury yeah Josh I'm 100 with richest it's fight fight Fury fight here Fury fight of fight fight final Fury fight because we got fighting we got to the end of it and we all were just like what happens now yeah and I've never seen a movie have the goal do that on this show yeah they just end and say oh can't wait to see what happens next yeah I want more don't you I want to see the next movie yeah I definitely want to see this movie I do not want to see a birdemic four no I don't want to see what happens three months later with the mega lightning I want more Fury fight Mike uh uh I I I agree in terms of oh God the bar is very low sure oh well my best fighter Fury is best of the worst for all the reasons everybody's already said I think birdemic 3 as we've said is the worst thing ever I would love to destroy it it's weird we don't have a physical copy to destroy we have a fake thing that we made do we have to break into Amazon Surfers can we delete this from oh my God that would be epic Ocean's four I think we could safely say Watch Fight of Fury he's very bad sure but his heart is in the martial arts oh yeah as hard as we know his dojo is very well respected I think look to the elf and people he's not great at staging and exciting fight scene but but he tried God damn it he tried he needs a little help in constructing an a feature film narrative yes and maybe some camera work and some technical stuff and maybe he hasn't quite earned the goal to not conclude any of the plots he's set up in his movie there's that so please has has so much potential yeah but birdemic three or birdemic four there's nowhere that guy needs to stop be done whoever made this needs to move on to something else you know what I want to see this person direct a straight drama sure yeah don't do don't do like disaster reports right here oh what did you know how the show like we take the best of the worst and then we destroy something B make fight of Fury two and make it real good I will please let us know yes yes yes yes we want it you have potential uh James Nguyen we'll give you money to not make any more movies contact us about that as well James you take that money and you give it to shiny B nah nay yeah you're all in California yeah or just give the money to the environment oh you can do that too that would do far more good but if we could have fights Fury too I think fight of Fury 2 would do a lot for the environment as well so you know what to keep people indoors watching movies and then they wouldn't get mega enlightening I fill up so many landfills with Blu-rays everybody good good I'm going home bye we should drive me over to the Amazon like warehouse and I could ask them if they have any copies of Rhodes it might just be so surrounded oh this is we didn't even talk about bases foreign [Laughter] [Music] [Music] Rich Evans was a superstar in the entertainment world he had built up a large following through his work with red letter media and many fans looked to him as an icon of Justice so when news broke that he had been arrested for breaking into an Amazon warehouse in order to destroy the server which held birdemic three people were stunned the police had been tipped off by an anonymous source about Richie's plan and they swooped down on the warehouse late at night while he was still inside when they confronted him he calmly explained that birdemic 3 was such an affront to Art and decency that it simply couldn't be allowed to exist any longer as news of Richie's arrest spread across social media and Beyond reactions ranged from shock and horror all the way through support and adulation after all most people agreed with his sentiment if not his chosen method of expressing it soon enough there were campaigns launched online calling for his release from jail petitions circulated demanding Justice for Rich even celebrities got involved in voicing their opinion about what should happen next eventually public pressure won out over corporate greed after several months spent Behind Bars awaiting trial Bridge Evans walked free once again the charges against him were dropped due to lack of evidence and no doubt some backroom deals being made but more importantly than anything else birdemic 3 was never released foreign [Music]

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 1,745,921

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans

Id: 0ZsSCFAJUvQ

Length: 77min 11sec (4631 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 25 2023