Best of the Worst: Ben and Arthur

it's ben and arthur r.i.p ben r.i.p arthur r.i.p arthur's brother r.i.p john williams priest r.i.p lawyer lawyer's assistance yeah we never even see the lawyer that's just the lawyer's secretary oh jeez sorry they've mentioned that in one line of dialogue our attorney's secretary someone killed her oh my god r.i.p 90 minutes of our life [Music] more drastic measures definitely more drastic measures for these two idiots definitely so this is ben and arthur uh one of our favorite go-to movies to watch on b movie night behind the scenes who's that that was mildred she said somebody broke under the garage we should go down and check our things bye my diamonds [Laughter] [Applause] my cd wallet it's got jumbo wubumbo i think we've probably watched this movie five or six times now in the last year or two yeah rich would you like to tell us you you do the all the mail yeah we do the mail and you know sometimes sometimes you see repeats of things and ben and arthur was coming up a few times yeah and you know you know it's coming up you get like multiple copies or something maybe maybe there's something to it you put it in you check it out what do we got how many copies do you think of ben and arthur were sent to our studio 18 million oh my god that's almost as many as mean guns starring iced tea that we keep getting copies of for some reason so rich i guess rich tell us all about ben and arthur ben and arthur is a story written by an angry frustrated gay man i'm [ __ ] another two years ben this is ignorance and completely unfair this country [ __ ] sucks it just [ __ ] sucks oh i think i understand where sam rovitch is coming from [Music] like he he's grown up and his parents probably like you just going through a phase you're just confused right now i'm not confused or you know the church doesn't like this are you so haunted by these demons what's that i mean are you still a homosexual is what i mean those demons and he he's grown up in a world where he can't be himself and he just spewed it out into this script yeah it comes it's similar to like the room like tommy was so that came from a very pure place where he really thought everyone betrayed him it's over it's not over everybody betrayed me i fed up with his world like he he really that was a serious attempt at a drama about uh how people are mean to him but in the case of this yeah you can tell that the writer director star uh is very upset about a lot of he's angry at the world and he's angry about a lot of things that relate to him his lifestyle and not being able to be himself being persecuted i get it which is fair and understandable unfortunately he made one of the worst movies of all time just because you have strong feelings about something maybe maybe you shouldn't vomit them up and just throw them at the world if you have no talent you [ __ ] the character is messy very messy it's meticulously decorated oh what does the actual script behind his head represent the writer director star plays arthur and his uh his uh love interest in the film the one that he wants to marry super hot model dude yeah it's clear when you look at him you're like okay that one's the writer director that other guy is a higher talent it's pretty clear which is which so what's the story of the movie itself uh lots of persecution that's lots of people angry about sam and arthur's love that's basically it yes it's it's it's a it's a gay drama right yeah and um this real quick this film was released by cqc cultural cue connections i looked it up they do a lot of lgbtq films it's everything a lot of david dakota movies no no no it seems to be a little more less crass and it's a little a little classier more like movies about real issues probably okay more more like a david dakota movie is just i mean it's the uh gay equivalent of our usual best of the worst exploitation movies the gay equivalent of shark exorcist but this this this company i just browsed it real quick and they have a ton of titles and they picked this movie up for distribution at probably one of their earliest films we found an interview with the director his brother chris mirovich oh is that his actual brother they have the same last names they could i guess they could be husbands but it says editing chris mirovich and sam mirovich um so he's only this chris character is only credited as the editor i hope that's not his real brother because that final scene of this movie would be incredibly awkward to watch with your real brother no no no no yeah he just did the editing maybe maybe sam edited the nudie scene and if it's if it's husband it'd be incredibly awkward that he hired the model to play that's true that's why the sex scenes were so awkward no honey you're playing my brother i'm gonna be doing the makeout scenes with this guy [Music] hey they got to sell the movie somehow you look at the cover and sam is not on it in fact there's quite a discrepancy of the size of the photos on the back [Laughter] but we did find an interview with them from buzzfeed yeah where they said this is the worst gay movie of all time the worst movie of all time the room whatever but they said this is the worst gay movie of all time you know i resent that you care more about some man named jesus that you never even met oh there's the camera on the reflection and the viewfinder flipped around so they could see the shot because there's no one behind it a mistake he had a little money to invest in a movie he wanted to make a movie he did he wasn't quite experienced in filmmaking clearly you'd never guess oh what are you going to do about it the table with the new year's eve party hat fell over and it has all the hallmarks of a terrible low budget movie all the all the the classic classic traps one falls into when making a low budget movie but but not like the the power fantasy of the typical vanity project this isn't the i'm i am the toughest most sexy man no no this is yeah this is somebody who feels like uh they've been uh oppressed and treated i am the most persecuted man is what this is sure yeah and that comes from a real place and you know with a twist of revenge yeah with a twist well that's the weird thing is like the movie starts and it's like uh and this is 2002 so it was a different time but he's talking about they turn on the radio and it's definitely the real radio broadcast that says gay marriage is now legal in hawaii today's latest news it's been a long battle here in hawaii the public has long awaited the final decision of the court of hawaii and the courts have voted yes homosexuals do have the right to get married judge kevin chang's ruling has made history in this country so they're like we're going to hawaii they booked the trip let's [ __ ] go to hawaii [Music] the tickets are non-refundable they're non-refundable and then the next day the newspaper tells them never mind and so they say well i guess there's no reason to go to hawaii now with our non-refundable tickets so we're just not gonna go we're just gonna eat that cost they're non-refundable we can never get married now we'd have to go to vermont i don't see why we can't go see an attorney here in california and get married here why do we have to go all the way to vermont yeah that's what they mention is vermont it's uh you can get married in vermont but that never came up before they were like talking about hawaii's if it's like this is our first opportunity to get married so we go to vermont to get our civil union license and if the state rejects to recognize it then we go to the u.s supreme court that's right and this there's many questions there's a lot of questions there's more questions on partners first we thought his brother was the the uh uh arthur oh yeah because you see their names in the credits ben oh we're gonna just keep [ __ ] that no see i have a system ready okay ben right yeah b for bald as in not bald okay be for bald as in knock balls so bald as in balding like sam aka arthur a is the one that's balding b you've lost me reverse it reverse it it would be so much easier to give up sam is the main character he's a a comes before b oh who's ben yes okay and also when you think of b if if if it would it would be so much easier if the balding one was named ben right but ben is bald b b then flip it ben is not the one that's balding okay that's so simple and elegant you just gotta invert it in your head ben is the one with the glorious head of hair arthur is the one who has alopecia right okay got it ben ben all right the one who is not bald is ben because he's not bold yes the one who has alopecia arthur it's arthur because he actually has alopecia yes or he needs a toupee listen i got a system okay so what i'm saying is sam plays arthur right okay and then so he has some money to invest in this film yeah we originally we thought ben was his actual brother and then we thought yeah because i think we saw both their names in the credits or something exactly and then we thought that's why the sex scenes are so uncomfortable yeah then we realized that ben is probably he's not an actor we looked him up he had his one role and that's this movie either he was a friend or he was he was these these are like modeling photos yeah that has nothing to do with the movie that cover it looks like the cover of some sort of magazine or something it's it's his um it could be his like professional headshots or for actors like body shots i don't know what you call them whatever promotional shots were like a model right because this is his only film credit this is only film credit so um sam rovitch probably paid uh like a model and he's not a bad actor well you know if it bothered you so much and you felt so strongly about it why didn't you say something then he's not i mean in the context mike is right compared to everyone else in this movie okay there's that scene where he's arguing with his uh wife you know and and like he's not bad what's his name not that it matters to you but his name's arthur and we're gonna get married uh sam is terrible what hey john how's it going yeah ben i just can't stand working here anymore you know this this place is just driving me up the wall quick if you don't like it found another job yeah i should you know i i just can't stand it here anymore you know the boss is [ __ ] the customers are cranky and the hours suck you know and you know everyone else is terrible what i said is sam uh uh mirovich he looks like he's angry he looks like he's annoyed to have to act in the movie i told him to get his stupid wife over soon and get the divorce paper signed like maybe he didn't want to act maybe he just wanted to write and direct but he knew that he couldn't get anybody else so he's in the movie well probably because you're some crazy psychotic [ __ ] this makes perfect sense to me though because when you make a movie before you make movie it sounds like a terribly fun idea hey i've got all these crazy ideas wouldn't it be fun if we made a movie and then you start making the movie yeah here's my list of it here's my list of it here's my list of demand oh god it is not fun to make a movie i hate myself but then there's other actors in the film that are probably like bottom tier la casting because the article that we read on buzzfeed there's an interview with the director on buzzfeed that he talks about the movie and he's he's not ashamed of it he's like yeah you know it is what it is yeah i did my best it's good to have a sense of humor about this you can talk about the technical flaws of a bad movie right like it's your first movie like i don't know about like uh recording um ambient sound or or tone as they say we lost all sound isn't this great ben to to fill a scene so that there isn't a shot with just dead sound right you need tone to cover a background to blend all your edits together there's certain basics of editing making a movie right maybe use a microphone we'll take care of all that [ __ ] when we get back to california let's just enjoy it enjoy we have three more days here we have dinner plans tonight okay all right you can't even see the fountain why film it here a microphone is good um maybe don't use cardboard as your church set yeah yes there's that there's a hole there's all the all the classic pitfalls of making a low-budget movie are in this and that's what makes it fun yeah this is great this is really relaxing hello so sam has some money he he gets some actors involved in this project there's the detective guy the lapd detective guy who looks like a guy you'd hire for like detective four yeah in like csi oh yeah this this entire this movie is super la in terms of all the all the uh side characters where you're like that guy works in a restaurant that guy works at starbucks and you're just like you know all these people have their day jobs yes and this is them trying to get into acting for the most part they're they show up as extras yeah and then they put that on their resume mm-hmm you know you look them up on imdb and they're in like bad boys three as like bar patron uh call uncredited or or student film yeah like there's the the priest who looks like uh john williams well that actually was john williams i looked it up oh that's really john williams yeah he's trying to break into acting yeah i mean he's done lots of great scores but when you're trying to get into acting it's all about who you know so he doesn't have any he doesn't have any actor friends to work off of so everyone he knows is a director yeah exactly he doesn't know anybody in the industry john williams no no his friend stephen didn't answer the phone that weekend he wanted to shoot a film the phone rang it seems like oh no john wants to add i can't we're not taking any calls from john for the next month well the congregation is concerned that your brother's homosexuality may rub off on their children and send their souls straight to hell anyways so the cast is set you know arthur we have ways to cure that for you um if you just join us for bible study five days a week we could uh take care of that for you and cleanse that sinfulness of yours stage is set forget you've got the most important cast member and and that's that's sam's apartment arthur my bike is gone oh yeah yeah yeah it goes through a lot of changes throughout the course of the film it is probably the most the thing that just stands out out at you most in this movie is that that shitty ass apartment with like folding tables for a desk and no furniture no furniture there's [ __ ] just garbage all over all over the place there's a [ __ ] mattress that's just propped up against the wall because you know it's la and shit's expensive and like seven actors seven actors live there yeah well in one scene there's a bed in another scene there's an air mattress oh he got a futon he got rid of oh oh he's dead back to life it's a miracle during that episode of the timescape episode from star trek the next generation uh in one scene there's a halloween decoration and then we fade out and fade back into later that day the halloween decoration is gone oh he's back oh someone took down the halloween decorations while he was gone and there's some christmas decorations yeah there's depressing wall art apartment art as we learned depressing suppressing our departments thanks rich yeah oh oh god okay so this is like if if you were in your 20s right you're struggling i mean it's not a it's a decent sized apartment for ella it is the the the the master bedroom ensuite is is quite large sure there's a bedroom then there's this little like like carpeted hallway part within the ensuite and then there's the bathroom in reality there's two actors that live in that hallway one lives in the bathroom you're thinking of new york city struggling actors in l.a are you kidding me they all live in there yeah so if if you remember that time of your life when you're in your early 20s and you moved to a bigger city and you had zero dollars and you tried the best apartment you could possibly get for your five hundred dollars a month in the slummiest area in the nastiest apartment and the worst furnishings you could think of like a cheap coffee maker you have your computer on a folding table there's no room the printer is jammed next to it the tv is just on the ground the tv's on the ground at some point though they upgrade to a nice burgundy tablecloth for the computer it goes from no tablecloth to a white tablecloth to the the fancy burgundy tablecloth the martha stewart burkety computer tablecloth there's more character development for this apartment than there is for ben and arthur oh look at all that garbage clean up maybe he's moving out the apartment has so many character arts it's constantly it's what they call a dynamic character [Music] oh look at that this is some smoke put a little smoke bomb on the gun see the spark coming out of it yep then there's uh ben arthur which one know who cooks ben isn't ball ben is bob and ben isn't bald so he's not arthur who is bald okay so then you have arthur's brother who has an even worse apartment even though he's supposed to be like rich arthur goes to him for money for their marriage license well first for his marriage license and then because he wants to go back to college i need two thousand dollars for my tuition to college that that plot that was just dropped yeah when he wanted to go back to school business school you have to go to business school to open up porn shops that's another venture that happens later in the film remember ben and arthur talk about what their plans for the future are after they decide to get married yeah i'm thinking about getting a degree in business really yep i'm thinking about opening up my own little porno shop no [ __ ] well that's cool if that's what you want to do it's good to have some goals are they just meeting now is this a flashback they don't know anything about each other apparently uh but then yeah cuts to uh ben b not bald is is washing dishes in the back of a coffee shop he's washing those dishes well first he's waiting for someone to say action and then he starts to wash the dishes because that's why we have editing i mean don't have that event action action action [Music] action then yeah he says well you know i have a advanced degree in nursing you have a degree in nursing you know what the heck are you doing here i got my music that's what i want to do it's you know i like this job but i'd rather he wants to be a musician and that's never brought up again and that's what that's what holds them back and it never comes up again no i didn't i forgot he was he never played he should play like a love song on his guitar and they should have a little scene where we get his the the scope of his talents as a musician never happens they oh they discover that vermont has legalized gay marriage off camera this happens yes they're just like oh hawaii didn't work out let's go to vermont apparently they've already been whatever happened did they did they not get a refund on those airline tickets they were unrefundable but ben we just bought the tickets they're non-refundable they just wasted that hawaiian vacation they could go to hawaii and just not get married but still have a nice vacation in hawaii but they just don't go so what are we going to do i mean that could have paid for his seventh of the red for another two months [Laughter] but then they go to vermont when they fly beautiful tropical vermont vermont they fly from los angeles presumably they never establish where it's at but we know we know we know we know can you find a section anywhere anywhere [ __ ] anywhere in l.a where there's just not palm trees in your shot for vermont can you handle that a a blank room would have worked what is this john carpenter's halloween they did a pretty good job of that except when you see the outdoor school hallways outdoor schools that's absurd there's a couple palm trees that show up there's a couple yeah yeah yeah outdoor school hallways and lockers in the midwest that doesn't exist it had anfield illinois yeah no i was like why are the lockers outside as a kid i have only seen that in summer school with mark summers mark harmon mark harmon mark summers is the double durga that's the double dare guy mark summers wasn't in summer school so that's how you know mark summers was the double dare guy i've got my own methods and it's been working thirty percent of the time okay i still get better oh that's less than chance look the important part is that they go from la to vermont on air alaska on alaska airlines but they go home oh here they are they're getting fedex back they hid themselves in boxes to save some money they spent so much money on the tickets okay they they had to fly uh freight can you just sit there by the airport just wait for a different plane to go by they waited for one plane they can't wait around any longer rich we got a plane it's a plane although someone who's like 30 should think of these things these are high school things or or i should say junior high school things when you make a movie in junior high school you know we're trying going on a trip everybody you just film any old airplane that leaves the airport not realizing the markings on it say fedex [Laughter] semi i guess he's pretty grown up right yeah too grown up for that kind of mistake yeah yeah grown up enough to have lop ship ben uh and arthur have been together for long enough where they know they want to get married but ben did not tell arthur that he was already married to a female right i need to tell you something teleported i have a mutant superpower i'm a vampire i'm still finishing up a divorce with my wife oh we should have told him that before he bought the tickets and non-refundable tickets they're non-refundable uh who shows up at their apartment she's very upset she doesn't believe he's actually gay uh and then she comes back with a gun just two scenes her first scene is where have you been why are you living with this man yeah and then he says i'm a i'm a homosexual and she says uh no you're not you're just confused and he said get out i want a divorce and she says no way mister next scene arthur was completely unaware that he was married what i guess so you think that would have been a spot of drama right there dear diary i can't believe ben he's married to some [ __ ] named tammy you think that just that's that's you know why didn't you tell me that's some drama right there it's just never brought up again it's just it's just gone it happened like arthur's hair it's just gone but then the second time the wife shows up uh she brings a gun yes everyone in this film has guns they have a gun okay and it's like it's like that plastic squirt gun that everybody has with like it's like a nine millimeter like a like a cop gun right yeah and then it has the sliding back trigger it's like a pellet gun or a water gun everybody has it in the whole world and you you could spray paint it flat black and it's a great movie prop right um apparently according to the credits it was rented by hollywood rentals and then once once their deposit their deposit check bounce for the rental of the gun hollywood rentals took their gun back and then they had to use a space gun they had to go to the dollar store and get sci-fi guns oh now he's got a oh no space gun oh my god it comes from the future look it's either the gun of the apartment we gotta choose one or to eat ramen noodles this week we gotta we have to make the tree i already repossessed my air the mattress man came for the air mattress i'm awkwardly sleeping on arthur now uh arthur's brother a devout christian and possibly closeted gay has a gun where'd you get that from yeah this little puppy is the same one i use to kill that little [ __ ] friend of yours when you're little what oh this is new [ __ ] you know that you know what i should have done back then he said that gun since he was little yeah and it's mentioned that he murdered uh arthur's friend gay friend when he was little this is a very late movie revelation very late with the same gun yeah they all have the same gun until it's replaced by a a buck rogers water gun does the priest have a gun the priest does not have a gun the priest has a cardboard cross they have a lawyer they hire a lawyer because even though they got married in vermont they're worried about the legalities of getting married in california of it being yeah counted as a real marriage so obviously the brother had to hire a private detective which he didn't really use and then killed the lawyer's assistant yeah he steals himself parking garage and just shoots her point blank in the face [Music] an innocent attorney the detective man's on the case no that's the that's the brother oh that was the brother that's right that's right my brother is a homosexual he's going to be marrying a man i need to find out what his next move is and i need to stop this insanity what his next move is probably to get married yeah well they are married that's true but what his next move after getting married because he doesn't want them progressing with their marriage see i think i think the idea of this movie is that they are oppressed by society and told they can't get married so the result of that if you just let them get married they could just live a happy life and i think that's that's kind of the motive of the movie is that because of that roadblock of them not being able to get married it just leads to tons of blood it just leads to bad things so let gays get married which has happened by now yes this was 2002. yeah um and so that's but that's the premise of the movie is that a chain of events just leads to death and destruction because of this roadblock of them not being able to marry the worst mistake that arthur made was going to his religious brother he may not have known he was religious that's that was one of the big laugh out loud moments of the movie he shows up and he's like this guy opens the door who looks like andy dick in a bathrobe and he's like he's like hi i'm it's me i'm your brother arthur he's like arthur i haven't seen you in seven years we're 35 years old since you were 31 or 28. hey vic it's it's me your brother arthur arthur i i haven't seen you in what at least seven years you basically look the same uh yeah i haven't seen you in 25 years i've been seeing you in seven years i haven't seen you since we were two years old they don't should have been like i haven't seen you since i was nine and our parents kicked you out when you came out oh yeah there you go yeah something to tie that together some are very religious parents you can make it you know uh very expository if you want but uh he goes to his brother who lives in the nastier apartment it's even worse it's like [ __ ] on the walls like like literally there's [ __ ] on the walls yeah and he's got a holy bible and he starts asking him immediately about jesus and then arthur thinks it's a great idea to ask him for two grand to to go back to school to learn business to open a gay porn shop yes look perfect investor why does he need two thousand dollars for my tuition to college oh don't ask me ask the movie you might get an answer i'm not used to that i know what kind of little business you're running oh do you tell me how did you find that out because i hired a private investigator a what a private investigator and he told me that you're running a porno shop you know i can't i can't believe you did he start doing that off camera that was his dream i know he mentioned it was his dream but we didn't see him do that as far as i know it hasn't happened you know the brother's wealthy because he has a poster of a monet painting [Laughter] and he owns two calves the cat was in the little play tower that was like literally six inches behind them when four people were crowded together having dinner and by dinner you mean graham crackers grandfather they went over to their brother's house for them fancy grandparents [Music] what's so funny what is it going to take you to realize that you've got to get you've got to divorce that guy look you've got to accept jesus as your savior jesus he becomes like the wily coyote he keeps showing up like sneaking up in their apartment at one point he uh tapes a magic potion to their door this is the weirdest thing well i have a secret holy water recipe that you can give arthur the cleanse of all these demons that possess them turn straight how does it work just make him drink it i really need him to stop being gay thank you and he's shocked when it doesn't work yeah i can't believe they didn't just take that uh magic potion that take the door off and drink it why didn't they do that yeah yeah it's victor look i'm gonna the potion didn't work can you believe it can you believe it can you believe it you know what i can i thought for sure taping it to the door would do the trick [Music] arthur knows that it's his brother's potion that will expel the demons from him he knows immediately he knows all about this somehow it's never brought up it's some stupid potion for my brother it's supposed to free demons out of your soul when you drink it that's stupid i'm gonna throw this away with this it's called vodka so glad that was resolved see what now logic would say what what should have happened rich uh he should have said open the door saw the bottle and said what's this no and then just throw it in the garbage but movie speak arthur right protagonist clearly brother knocks on the door my brother i'm so sorry for being mad that you were gay you know i the jesus is the great the great one and he will he will forgive you for your sins i i also want to forgive you let's let's have a dinner and let's talk about this and maybe you know we could work it out the arthur says great i'll cook up some ramen noodles and hot dogs i uh while the ramen noodles and hot dogs are boiling i'm gonna go in the bathroom arthur's brother pours the potion in in their fago cola and um they're in wine glasses they're fago cola in wine glasses and it tries to trick them to drink the demon expulsion potion i like that you're being logical but still realistic to their production level that's that's a lifestyle yeah yeah everything you just said works on multiple levels right that's good um and so that's that's what would happen but instead he takes packing tape and he doesn't have it ready before he walks over to the door so this is an awkward moment he spends like 30 seconds trying to get to the table you think ben and arthur would have all the packing tape from their fedex flight but the the christian brother has access packing tape i don't know maybe maybe they left them some of the fedex tape it's just like a a housewarming party after the graham cracker dinner we brought you some tape that was a cut scene a deleted scene we got this from our flight from uh complimentary from fedex air yeah from our uh vermont vermont so we got out this remark it was what they passed out in the third class the stewardess passed out like packing tanks and peanuts bubble peanuts oh yeah airline peanuts peanuts a whole new meaning on a fedex flight maybe maybe that's why they use the footage of the fedex plane so we talked about the brother we've talked about how he's religious i think we need to talk about his church yes yes let's talk about the church his children's elementary school uh production level church okay so you're a no budget filmmaker you have very little money and you have a 560 square foot apartment in hollywood california and in the dingiest apartments maybe an apartment building that was once a motel in the 1950s could be converted to an apartment complex right you can only film when your roommates are at the restaurant and your six other roommates are working at the restaurant their shifts at the restaurant that's the only time you could film you have a half an hour window you have to factor in time wise the time it takes to deflate the air mattress and re-inflate the air mattress before they get home so that eats up you know a decent amount of production time because the one works the the like the graveyard shift at the coffee shop and he comes home at six a.m and he wants to go to sleep on the air mattress so you can't have this this big set in the living room he needs to go to sleep um you have 37 minutes a day that you can actually shoot your film yes so taking in into account those those hindrances how do you shoot in a church do you go into a local church and say hi we're making a gay movie into saint peter's cathedral and they say no then you're done right what are your options rich oh well of me if i if i were making this movie what would you do i would probably actually look for a gay friendly church because these places exist and say we are are making a movie that's all about our our plights and struggles to sell the the soldiers in the lgbt community would you would you please let us film our scene in your church we have some powerful things we would like to say like a episcopalian church yeah right or or or you could go to home depot and get some styrofoam insulation walls some cardboard but put a little bit of like paint on there with a sponge and then like cut out some like construction paper stained glass windows what about the cross how do you make a cross one cannot just simply find a cross well the the air mattress they had to buy last week came in a cardboard box oh so you know you just efficiently you use what you have on hand which was the cardboard box from the air mattress you bought last week to fashion across what if is it this the cardboard box that the eighth roommate uses as a bathroom bathroom you don't have bathroom privileges until you pay over 800 a month he only gave us half the rent last month we're gonna use this bathroom to make our crust oh we made this cross out of a bathroom a cross is literally uh two straight lines right no you can buy two cheap pieces of wood and and glue them together correction you could find you could buy these that are straight but instead of cutting you you could go to the dollar store and just buy a piece of foam board and use a ruler to cut out something that's straight and one piece wait who is the money for a ruler rich you're talking about multiple things do you have to purchase here which is los angeles too it's the 20 store you think real estate's expensive there [Laughter] oh and i also might use like a folding table as the pastor's desk i don't know if we've ever talked about this before in the many times we've watched this film that folding table that's probably the same folding table that he uses for his computer desk right yeah it's gotta be right it's in the it's a well we were wondering if the uh uh church scenes were shot in the apartment yeah because it's basically one wall set well you can see there's a stained glass window in the church and there's obviously light coming in through that like sunlight but you can also kind of see it looks like it's leaned up against like the the border of like a patio door it's it's not foam boards foam boards would have been smarter no yeah yeah it's that heavy kind of like like almost like um it's like that paneling material because it's it's foam boards are rigid if you're going to buy that paneling material just buy the one that's got bricks printed on it man i know i know this is flimsier than that type of panel material i'm talking about because you see in one shot you see it wavering you see it wobble oh okay yeah okay it might be uh just like a thick cardboard like a thick cardstock that's possible see also too they they appear to have painted it to look like like a brown beige's marble color right yeah and they make faux like bathroom stall shower walls that are that are made to look like fake marbles see this is all like diy like like low budget movie stuff and this would still look like crap but at least it would have been a lot better the thing with fake walls and we learned this from shooting gorilla interrupted give your men this pepsi of crystal as a reward um is they have to be able to butt together right and half inch foam insulation is the way to go um one inch is a little excessive half inch is enough where it's rigid and you could put something on it remember you can even get marble um sticky paper yeah that you can roll out it just takes a little time to get the bubbles out but you could make fake marble on foam board and have it be somewhat effective more effective than paint on a flimsy eight by four because we see pedaling we see two pieces of that paneling they're not connected they're not connected you see like a shadow between where the two of them are kind of you see the corner where there's light bleeding in through the corner they could they should have just shot in front of a white wall and it would have looked better or found because because a a priest has a rectory not the best name but a priest has a rectory right and and most times it's just looks like an office yeah and um you can go run inside a church right with your handicam or your sony vx 2000. we see the exterior church stuff where they clearly got it as quickly as possible shoot an exterior church it looks like like pervert camp they don't know where phil means but you know what like on a sunday or you know even a saturday they have weddings on saturdays at churches go inside a church establishing yeah of a church cut rectory shot any old office anywhere put some papers and i think the most shocking part and this is a great movie for us to talk about because we've been shooting movies since we were in high school yeah you get that establishment of a church before someone goes excuse me and then you're out you're already done and then you got that establishing shot of a church but also um they couldn't find a picture of jesus to hang on their set oh [ __ ] they had to draw they had to have their kid brother draw one hold on i'm gonna go get our picture of jesus you keep talking i'll be right back it looks like that famous restoration botch do you remember a few years ago it looks just like that oh [ __ ] oh oh how how long did that take how long did that take well that was probably really expensive though right a dollar a dollar what's under it's a jesus picture in another picture so that was that was a dollar at the thrift store and literally a dollar that's what the price is probably 50 cents because i'm probably it was like half off off one day yeah see that's also a trick thrift stores it's thrift stores are a gold mine for movie props how much prop hunting have we done in thrift stores oh my god rich jesus [ __ ] christ in all the years you've been to thrift stores rich how many jesus pictures do you think you've seen oh my god um it's it's it's four it's at least four digits at least the high high four digits we're creeping up on five okay okay every time an old lady dies a jesus picture ends up in a good world right okay so jay we bought this jesus photo for a dollar and an elderly lady put the jesus she didn't have a frame for this exact weird size so grandma who is now in a grave put her jesus picture in different frames so that she could hang on a wall she didn't really care about aesthetics and clearly the dollar written in in uh crayon uh at the thrift store was not on there prior oh i just erased it it's that easy okay prior to old lady's death this was on her wall yeah oh that's that's another tip too if you're really hard up for cash at the thrift store you can just wipe the price off put whatever you want on there get a little crayon this is another diy trick um sometimes thrift stores have the pricing gun right and the price a pricing gun they they have they have stickers that are remove proof it's not just a solid square that prints out on the pricing gun it has little designed to come off and chunks so unless it's like shoddily put on where you could peel it off perfectly and move it to another item and we've done this before um it'll it'll peel off awkwardly sure so we were 15. 15 to 30. so like you see how easily i wipe that off yeah because it's meant to not ruin the item so it's done with like a wax writer or a wax marker or pen right and um so all you got to do is bring in your own wipe it off with your finger and rewrite the price but do it in the style that whoever's been pricing at the goodwill has been doing and so one they're not overly concerned about the price of this jesus picture and then whoever's checking out at the cash they don't give a [ __ ] don't give a [ __ ] yeah they sometimes they won't ring up stuff that doesn't have a price they're like where's the price so if we find something that we really need for some a prop or something pull out that marker let's add the price or let's let's try to remove the sticker from an item that has a price if you're really careful you can do that yeah you have to be really careful you have to be really careful then you have to watch over your shoulder make sure no one's watching you yeah there's all science to this thrift store [Music] this is one of many dozens of jesus pictures we've had over the years find a jesus picture for a dollar yeah oh now we got to buy another one and we do not want the relative of a man who defies and desecrates god's holy word here we don't care that you murdered a woman but your brother's gay your brother is gay it's like the 1600s really so the brother in his desperation to get the demons out of arthur so he can go back into his church hires a thug where he goes to ben and arthur's apartment and then they attempt to beat ben to death right and it seemed that we don't see ben well their goal is to murder him yeah yeah because when the cop comes to investigate him he's like oh i i heard he was murdered and the cops like what are you talking about he's in the hospital so uh his brother who has previously had no problems he's committed two murders yeah he's shot people with a gun but when he goes after ben he does not use his gun for some reason because the prop store repossessed it and they didn't have the flash gordon gun painted yet oh okay okay oh they had a painting but it was still wet in the scene his assassin from the twinkerton agency vanished on him mid scene yeah actually stay here long i've changed my mind i gotta take care of business go back to the car wait there half an hour if i don't come back in half an hour just leave all right i've shown you my do you understand okay go now arthur says i'm going to the grocery store i'm going to the vons he has like a list of 50 things to pick up at the store no i'm good i'm good i'm going to stay here but can you uh pick me up some twinkies and some skittles get me some twinkies get me some skittles and uh oh yeah and once you get some uh and some soda some soda too okay all right all right sweetie i'll see you later a great scene and then we get to see arthur come out of the vons filled with random people that don't want to be in this movie this is production value mike look at all these extras extras he gets into his car his car pulls out and drives around meanwhile um arthur's brother the the closeted gay psychopath murderous christian and his his assassin friend from the twinkerton agency who may or may not be the same initial pi that he hired remember yeah way back in the uh i think this guy's in the assassin wing of the twinkerton agency the other guy's in the private investigation wing sure he says let's go they get out of the car they get out of their their dodge neon with with 176 000 miles on it it can only it's tops its top speed is eight miles an hour before the carburetor explodes and then they they say let's go murder let's go murder ben because then arthur will have to become straight after that right if his lover and future husband is dead he will have no choice but to become straight what is it going to take you to realize that you've got to get you got to divorce that guy look you've got to accept jesus as your savior jesus so they pretty sound logic in a scene that happens off camera ben is viciously beaten uh by these bad guys he ends up in the hospital which we also don't see which we also don't see but he survives and then a la detective comes snooping around reasons unknown why he goes to the christian brother any any guesses uh we're looking for a if you know anything about a mr ben sheets any information on mr ben sheets oh yeah he's dead um what else you want to know who told you he was dead why do you say that probably when they interviewed arthur after the fact who might have done this i'd say my homophobic prick brother okay do you think's fair yeah yeah the detective is on the couch that doesn't amount to anything what happens after that is is arthur kind of gets pissed off at this point so he confronts his brother in his brother's dingy apartment yeah i want to know who you hired to do that to ben you [ __ ] [ __ ] oh no he breaks into his brother's dingy apartment brother isn't there and he takes his cell phone and because arthur apparently knows how to to hack a cell phone he opens the battery compartment and he puts a bug into his brother's phone where'd he get the bug how does he know how to do this who gives a [ __ ] we don't know but then he goes out to his car and he puts on walkman headphones also bought at the dollar store at the dollar store but then he sits sits in his car and miraculously not a day not two days not three days 30 seconds the brother immediately calls the the priest and and confesses i try i murdered his brother and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah got him all on tape then nothing comes well we don't know if he got him on tape he just heard him say it because it's never brought up again he didn't tape it he just heard him say it look because because arthur found out that his brother tried to murder his husband that means arthur is now going to burn a priest to death yes yes the priest is is kind of the root of this problem i need you to help me to kill my brother and free him from the demons that possess his soul i see a priest is the one filling uh arthur's brother with all these thoughts of uh the priest kicks arthur's brother out of the church which sends him on the murderous rampage a homophobic priest we we don't tolerate this we don't even want you you're not being a gay your brother is you're out of the church [ __ ] it you're out of the church everybody's out of the church priest is so mad so uh and all of his his gay rage runs to the runs to the back door of the church not with a not with a canister of gasoline because as we said shooting this gorilla style it would look pretty you're not going to run into it you've got to have some brass balls to run into a church with an actual gas can so he runs in with a milk carton filled with water pours it out he sets this priest on fire which we don't see because how do you shoot that you just don't maybe it was just water those revenge was just to pour water on the priests oh just to mildly annoy him here's some unholy water oh yeah there you go and then the priest says oh no now i'm gay that at least been interesting kind of stupid you know what have been fun if he went back to the gay dance club or strip club that he he remember he tried to get a job oh yeah and one scene he was looking for a job and he uh he went to a strip club for a job and didn't understand that he was supposed to strip right look at the owner of the strip club's like okay dance and he dances and there's a disco ball and some tinsel and then he's like okay now show me a penis that's great no uh let's see your penis and then he's like i'm i'm not into this i never thought this would be a requirement at an all-nude gay strip club i'm out but he should have gone back there curse this this holy water make it gay holy hey yeah and then he'll tell the priest i had this bottle of holy water cursed i think somehow we're making this movie worse but i think it would be more interesting and then he dumps the milk carton of of gay you know i'm burning and then he has to quit the priesthood case solved but instead he he's like i kind of like men now i have to leave the church but i guess that would be too silly because this is clearly trying to be a series this is trying to be a drama yeah what you're talking about like i said it sounds like a john waters bit that sounds like something that would be funny in a in a comedy movie can't be an outrageous yeah yeah i i've gone off the edge into silliness territory this is trying to be uh uh dramatic tragedy yeah but the minute you have your protagonist set a priest on fire while he's still alive you kind of lose any sort of connection to that character if this is like what your movie's about though and he goes on the revenge-fueled rampage against everybody after that then i could see how that would work he could become like an anti-hero which he doesn't it'd be like the gay falling down i'm gonna say gay taxi driver yeah yeah something like that that's what they were going for but is it yes they just failed on every level but instead he's done murdering after that and he kind of goes back to normal yeah yeah you don't have that escalation of like oh he killed the priest now he's gonna try to kill his brother instead he tries to seduce his brother [Music] just drop the gun put the gun down you're gonna hurt you're gonna hurt somebody look arthur put it down there i am come and get me which is really weird that well that's after he's cracked yeah because the finale of the film i guess we'll just go there yeah we're there we're there um ben is is is laying in the futon in the bedroom he and and arthur is having not to be confused with the futon in the living room not to be confused with the futon in the living room that appears mid scene which was replaced by a uh a nasty child's mattress yes yes but arthur's showering ben is sleeping gabriel uh closeted christian psychopath gay brother shows up ringing the doorbell uh arthur's in the shower ben says well someone's at the door he gets up instead of looking through the people he opens the door he's too trusting that's his that's his weakness that's his downfall and uh what is the brother's name even do it does anybody remember no but he shoots him with the bucket right victor victor thanks that's your favorite victory sales victory yes that's right he shoots ben with the space gun repeatedly oh ben but ben takes the time to put on a white t-shirt before going to the door look through the people before you answer it [Music] oh my god oh no oh better put on a white shirt too [Laughter] and he gets murdered he's definitely dead at this point yeah which is what victor should have done in the first place ben is dead arthur comes out of the shower and cradles ben's dead body not before putting on a white t-shirt putting on a white shirt you have to wear a white shirt victor takes out some rubbing alcohol oh yeah which he uses to knock arthur out with yeah this movie's logic is if you pour anything into a cloth and then put that cloth on someone's mouth it'll make them pass out because we've seen that in movies yeah i want them to fall over the entire wall to get knocked down he does it to the priest uh arthur does it to the priest with like a nail polish remover it just works it smells strong yeah obviously it must knock you out i guess i i've never tried it so who knows yeah it's not it's not uh chloroform right well that's the idea that's that's what you pour into the cloth and put over someone's mouth then you get a glass bottle a brown glass bottle light resistant glass bottle and you get a white piece of paper from your computer printer and you write chloroform print it out get some some clear packing tape you know what even even if it's just that kind of brown bottle that looks chemically it doesn't even need a label you're lose it doesn't look like nail polish remover yes we know what kind of bottle that rubbing alcohol comes in right rubbing alcohol comes in a very specifically shaped bottle as does nail polish remover yes it's a lady-like bottle it has a lady-like shape um good because you don't want to drink this [ __ ] right yes exactly that's why i shape like that that's why they don't put corrosive acid in eye dropper bottles right like like aluminum coke cans aluminum coke cans i eye dropper bottles yeah anything that does not serve the purpose of what it is but yeah you could find a brown glass box american science and surplus oh yeah i don't know where those are another good place to go for props is that just in the midwest or there's a there's a there's a wonderful store that exists or it doesn't anymore the coronavirus it might be gone it's called american science and surplus it's where your nerdy uh junior high school science teacher would go to get stuff they also have leftover crap from machinery world war ii gear anything projectors beakers speakers science lab coats anything you want good prop [ __ ] um but yeah gold brown bottle like that in a rag you don't got to get a ladies nail polish remover from cvs you could go you could you could turn it up a notch head on down to the american science and surplus i'm sure hollywood and los angeles have their own kind of store they went to the prop store to get the gun they rented a property just just these these simple tips they'll bring you all the way from better than arthur up to len kabaczynski [Laughter] these simple tips yeah that's true so the the the brother knocks him out with a nail polish remover and then he transports him nowhere because they're still in the same dingy apartment and then he forces arthur to be baptized in his tub in what we are dubbing the oscar scene yeah this is where it's like oh he's fearless he's getting naked on camera he's he's a fearless actor with no vanity uh this is the moment yeah this is going all the way to sundance baby get up let's picture the landlord coming in gotta change the air filter but instead it's incredibly awkward because yeah we don't want to see him naked we're seeing him naked i mean i i understand the idea of like oh it's just me this this raw emotion and this fearlessness but it's just i don't know i'm just picturing like there's only two actors and one cameraman and that's the only crew for the movie so it's just incredibly awkward to watch yeah yeah he's not really baptizing him he's doing it as a way to like show his power right i'm gonna [ __ ] baptize you by your against your will again like i'm sure we've mentioned this many times throughout the history best of the worst but you see that scene and you can picture in your head what the filmmakers were probably trying to do you thought it was it's very it's it's handheld it's very like shaky cam he's naked it's raw it's emotional that's the idea so then gets baptized and then the seduction occurs well he figures out that his brother is crazy because he's he's closeted himself and so then he he angrily tries to seduce his brother but in in terms of the story until the very very end it never comes up it should have been like that dinner scene right there's a dinner scene he's there with another man but that guy is like who is that guy it's just a friend from the church friend from the church that's an important scene because the friend from the church is like he's like come come have dinner with my brother and his his husband boyfriend yeah right and try to swayed them and he's like he's like yeah so being married and having kids is the greatest thing ever when are you having kids so arthur when do you plan to have kids no i'm sure as soon as arthur gets a beautiful wife and children then that's when he'll have a nice family he's going to correct arthur and so that guy that character in the sweater is there as the straight guy and the brother victor is there to kind of persuade them more drastic measures definitely more drastic measures for these two idiots definitely so it ends in the most tragic way possible because that's how you end your your gritty indie drama every tragedy everybody dies oh no another gun was just laying there on the futon that's facing the the kitchen yeah well the other shot there was a mattress there oh everybody's dead oh oh it ended so tragic look i don't know about you but i thought it was shocking powerful and raw rich have you been writing articles for the village voice again cut to inappropriate music over the credits that is also copyright free also known as the wedding it's the song that everybody plays at every wedding which i guess thematically has a purpose but should have gone back with the entertainer right scott joplin's 1901 classic the entertainer that plays over the opening credits right with with with stock footage of jupiter i think it's jupiter really i don't remember we just watched it i don't remember it right it's credits over some kind of weird like it looks like a lava lamp but i think it's it's like like nasa footage of jupiter oh i could be wrong you sure it was i'm often wrong are you sure it wasn't uranus anyway the film has some lofty ideals it aims very high but it ends up shooting very low it ends up shooting itself on the front the chat's shooting solo it shoots itself in the foot mainly because the guide had had no idea how to make a movie yeah it shows it has all the pitfalls and pratt falls of a terrible low budget movie well you know ben if i ever get killed maybe you can take that insurance money and just go ahead and buy 100 bikes [Laughter] you don't want to take away from the the importance of the social message in the film and the filmmaker's intent but when they fail so horribly you just can't help yourself you [ __ ] go ahead and watch it and have a good time and uh enjoy ben and arthur is that a gremlin [Music] [Applause] [Music] do so you

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 1,331,699

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans

Id: Xto-7_xWb9g

Length: 72min 37sec (4357 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 24 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Florida_Man_Revolt]

Rich's predictions of "this is slowly becoming a show where we watch porn" is becoming truer and truer.

[u/kubazz]

Mike and Rich giving tips on committing fraud is not what I expected to watch today. I'm 50 minutes in and it is one of the best BotW episodes ever. Definitely the best 'Spotlight' episode.

[u/chmclctthrt1]

"Mean Guns, which we kept getting sent copies of for some reason"

Jay is trying to distract us from sending Nukie tapes

[u/Archyes]

jack looks great there sitting next to rich

[u/SpikeRosered]

They completely gloss over Mike's excellent "Twinkerton agent" joke.

[u/RPDRNick]

The whole idea of having a strip club bless water so that it turns people gay is ridiculous.

Everyone knows you use cake to turn people gay.

[u/amsice]

mike and rich's tangent about how to steal from thrift stores was one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen

[u/BrigadierAGLS]

That FedEx plane killed me, holy crap.

[u/crimemaster_gogo20]

Rich pronounced folding table correctly, now that is character development.