Best of the Worst: Deadly Prey, Hard Ticket to Hawaii, and Miami Connection

so Josh it's winter in Wisconsin right now Lord is it over it's kind of giving me the winter blues a little bit there's snow everywhere so we're gonna try and liven things up okay we have three 80s action movies set in warm locations [Music] tagline in Vietnam he was the best he still is do you think this movie might have been influenced by Rambo oh my God look at the height you dick he's got a knife dick I don't think that's intentional but well you don't know who this is Mike Denton has been called the most perfect killer ever by someone here in the title in Vietnam and now I'll have to prove it again but this time Denton has only his bare hands for weapons he's up against not only a fully outfitted army of bloodthirsty mercenaries but also the very man who taught him all he knows my god this is nothing like Rambo I've already got real problems with this illustration now because I've I've been told he only has his hands and yet gun knife dick shorts mullet mullet they really needed to give you some background on this [ __ ] yeah who is this guy why is he so he's just an action hero he knows how to do this all because he's an action hero maybe there will be some players oh my god looking up guys he's got a stick so next we have as a part of the wonderful Andy Sedaris collection one of my favorites I've seen this one before hard ticket to Hawaii that was a beef fest one wasn't it yeah not the most exciting box because as you can see there's 12 films in here I think the set cost me $5 this'll be short because there's a 11 other movies listed Oh back here a wyan drug kingpin plans to flood the islands with narcotics all financed by illegal diamond shipments to his private retreat when his henchmen kill two DEA agents who are trying to stop the drug lord the agency sends in two of its best agents to break up the drug ring and take out the leader I am still interested and completely coincidental the two best agents are both stacked blondes and I hate him with a small fine go fight go oh yeah no hit nobody it'll make work for the local so we'll put spend the money and town hey let's give all the dialog to this guy ha ha ha ha Lucey shucks that's not our nunchucks horn but it works it works yeah I don't care if that's not how you're supposed to use and that worked Taryn we need to figure out what just happened let's unload and hit the jacuzzi Miami connection I'm very excited about the years 1987 motorcycle in just tighten the grip on Florida's narcotics trade viciously annihilating anyone who dares moving on their turf multinational martial arts rock band dragon sound whoa I've had it off and embark on a roundhouse rec wave of crime crushing justice this is brilliant so basically what you're saying is this is gonna be the best movie yes I'm pretty sure when not chasing Beach bunnies or performing their hit song against the ninja mark played by kung fu master inspirational speaker YK Kim and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world smelly underbelly sure I love this it'll take every ounce of their blood and courage but dragon sound can't stop until they've completely destroyed the dealers the drunk bikers the kill-crazy ninjas the middle-aged thugs the stupid cocaine and the entire Miami connection yay [Music] if he was hiding in there how do you know if someone came by any thinks it's hysterical look it's kind of funny so they're coming full band fighting a biker van being pursued by the girlfriends brothers drug lord ninja friend I'm sure also in a band who are also under a van so I think out of the blocks of screenings we've done so far this to me was the most consistently enjoyable I don't know if I can speak for everybody else I did not feel sad or bad no any point during a filming never bored there's never a lull but the first movie we watched was the only one I was completely unfamiliar with and it's called deadly prey and enriched why don't you explain deadly prey to people uh Deadly Prey i mean i guess it's easy to describe is there's not much in the way of plot I don't really know quite what the plot was there's these military guys there in the woods and they're training and they're funded by a rich white man for some reason that we never find out played by a robot I'm a business man Hogan not a fool actor Tron 5000 jenn-air Akiva businessman hello gram Ronnie the way the army trains is by taking unarmed innocent civilians and shooting them in the woods yeah just scooping them up off the street thing and then shooting hunting and then shooting but they make a mistake and they they scoop up the wrong man scoop up the wrong man they scoop up the Terminator run you're gonna die yeah again are we gonna hear you're gonna die in every movie we ever watch though [Music] now he should hide like right here by the entrance and when they all run out to find him in the woods he should run back into the base and take those grenades from the desk whenever the head of the mercenaries is at his desk you've got just kind of a little brace here of grenades they're just there they never get used they're in focus in frame in every shot at his desk and the grenades are never touched no they get knocked over when grandpa gets killed all his nice grenades fellows grenades he's the Terminator meets Rambo - pants - personality and personality and with arm backstory one-liners no he has one one-liner in this movie is the best one-liner in the history of action movie Marisa's [ __ ] you [ __ ] you know where he goes earth that's his catchphrase [Music] it's a movie made up completely of cliches there is no plot to this movie besides don't die yeah it's like somebody without an understanding of like human language or culture watch the first two Rambo movies and they made like a crossbreed of these two movies just from things they've seen and didn't understand but they saw these things they put him in a movie well he's gonna throw these rocks on a visiting yes small pile of rocks it's very close there are no other rocks around yeah oh my god I'm to the left or right it's like Prometheus just run to one side and you'll be saved it's just oh this is a lazy script yeah it's a very lazy script they didn't bother to have a plot they didn't bother to throw on characterization things happen things happen because they should in that type of movie yeah it does so far with that that it comes back around to being compelling whereas it's it's incredibly entertaining like I was I was entertaining the whole way through just because it's so I mean from the first frame [Music] that tells you everything you need to know about the movie could we take a moment to talk about how effective grenades are in this lesson you mean you mean not very not very that's a level of effective they all fall on the ground exactly one foot away from the person they throw a mat and then make a little puff yeah and the person is completely unharmed [Music] they were self-aware enough to realize about halfway through the movie that people would get bored of running through the woods so there's like there's like a 10 15 minute intermission with her at the camp the god they've captured a mini Hampshire facing away then back to the camp cuz they don't want to kill him after they capture him even though the whole point was to kill people for training they capture him anyway ah but that's after they realized that he is the ultimate soldier yeah but then they go right back to the woods yeah it's like it's like an intermission in the middle of the movie oh yeah well the best part about that section of the movie is he is tied up in the camp he escapes [ __ ] he goes home meanwhile his meanwhile his girlfriend has been kids wife his wife has been kidnapped so as he's going home she's going to the camp and he just leaves the camp and walks home in his tiny shorts and no shoes she could have done at any point he could have done that at any moment wait what oh god dammit oh man and then he just goes home why didn't he go home sooner so he goes home realizes that his wife has been kidnapped and then it goes right back to the camp we should point out that he walked home covered in blood blood and hair through the burger well he lives in a suburban neighborhood it's not like he lives in the middle of nowhere say walked home through the suburbs covered with blood doesn't stop at the police station say yeah you know I was kidnapped I'm blood hi honey I'm home governor blood friend or enemy I'm a friend you're a liar this is the best character in the movie longshot why'd you even bother asking me there is a wonderful subplot involving his wife's dad who decides to take matters into his own hands and go to the camp even though he doesn't know where it is or that it even exists the wife saw like though I think she read the license plate off I don't know the father and there was like a hole obviously if I had to be a hole like section of detective work that the movie didn't show us yeah it's like it's like just knowing the fact it was like okay I'll go to the woods show what I loved about that those the father tract he all your father confronts the old guy with a gun and he gives this long wonderful stone my god Who am I a little man who spent 27 years of his life as a cop trying to put big shots like you away 27 years in the filth and the dirt of the street there ain't no music down there you watch the people in the streets killing raping each other pumping dope through their veins while big men like you sit in the fancy penthouses acting everybody acting and then after all that any talks about yeah I want to put my boy you in jail I'm bars and he just shoots him today the nobodies who made you rich are gonna win die you son of a [ __ ] and then it's back into the woods uh Tim Curry and action man team up because they were buddies in Vietnam besides you probably gonna kill them all anyway I like being on the winning side so a lot healthier and they team up and action man sets all sorts of traps in the woods and does a lot of [ __ ] you know uh just like first relax yeah coincidentally odd or a predator or commando or any other action Schlag yeah for some reason even though he's killed at this point a dozen guys and has access to a dozen machine gun yeah he's setting spear traps but then they get action man's wife back and put her in like the secret hiding place and just like stay here I'm gonna kill all these other [ __ ] and I'm gonna come back for you uh so he goes along killing all these people and meanwhile of the second-in-command big bad got the guy with the with the black shirts and the sunglasses sunglasses guy who was the worst manager ever who has just been randomly killing employees essentially yeah whenever anyone questions what he's doing or has bad news he just [ __ ] kills of yeah Christ we're not hunting him he's hunting us some come on it's a very again collection of cliches that's a bad guy trove where they're just like oh you disagree with me boom but really there's a reason for it oh there's some sort of like it just gets mildly and he's just annoyed and shoots so much because that's a very least that that trope is like you kill one guy in front of everybody else to let you know that you're not [ __ ] right he kills like freedom oh yeah even when the main character is like killing all their guys left and right and they're running low on help he's still shooting his own guys that's just that's just making things worse for you so he manages to somehow get back around and get the wife pull her away so he's so he gets the wife back to the colonel so Tim Curry steps up and shoots the colonel in like the shoulder I don't think so and then the curls like go ahead kill me traitor he flat-out asks him to kill him and then he doesn't he just doesn't what you blow it what the [ __ ] was that Tim Curry has been killing people he's been part of this mercenary job killing people for money yeah and then he's like oh I don't want to kill people for money anymore so he has a chance to stop the person who's been making him kill people for money he hasn't been killing for money has been killing from training but whatever well I think the organization is getting money yeah so he so point is he shows some mercy out of nowhere for some reason and guess what he gets for it sunglasses guy takes the wife again [ __ ] Oh what are you [ __ ] kidding me the whole movie has been building turns this and he just shoots the wife dead and then it does lead to my favorite scene in the film he didn't just beat him with his own arm he beat him to death with his own arm absolutely the movie really should have ended right there she was you know fine if Colonel gets away I don't care because that happened oh you missed our hero his wife is dead he catches up with the main bad guy asks him to strip you sure take it off Oh taking a weird direction you're gonna have to take my wife's place and then says run run No [Music] what wait no no are you [ __ ] kidding me and then that's the end this is because this is because they also saw first blood without understanding first blood right and they tried to do a similar type of down beat ending well they supposed to be that he's tortured but the point is he's hunting the bag that's the yeah the implication is that he's going to put him through the same thing that he was put through initially but why the [ __ ] is that in a movie where a guy beat someone to death with their own arm right he should have killed the bad guy and that's the end of them well really he should have killed the bad guy to save his wife you don't leave a movie like that as you should with a good feeling yeah instead you're like oh it's like Mass Effect 3 who is this what's his name again don't tell me I don't talk let's make out you [Music] for the next pill hope that we watched is a part of the Andy cigars collection it's a movie that I have seen before and and wizard you have seen before it's called hard ticket to Hawaii and why don't you explain hard ticket to Hawaii okay and hard ticket to Hawaii there are these two blonde ladies with modes one is a federal agent one is in the witness protection agency but they're both great pilots so they fly a plane sure uh and their first uh their first load for the day or the first thing they have to move in the movie is a honeymooning couple and a snake Oh live snake live staying what you have one thing to do when you [ __ ] it up [Laughter] yeah oh yeah what that was a snake the snake was amazing okay absolutely amazing absolutely if it were in a Muppet movie but due to the incompetence of this one dude with a forklift they have the wrong snake in their plane Oh [Music] the best part about this is that there was multiple crates with snakes in them in this year there were numerous why do they have so many giant snakes all of a sudden when there are no sand there have never been any snakes on the island to make a point of that now there are two snakes we had a snake delivered here for the Department of Health now that snake has been infected by deadly toxins from cancer infested rats oh come on I love that he delivered that line like he was making it up as he went along been affected by cancer infected rats lately on infectious right that would make it dead you can't catch cancer that's not even the plot of the movie no no that's the Z plot yeah it's just sort of a thing I think the only reason that's in there so they could have the ending which we'll get to but it is nothing to do with the educational model the movie they are delivering the honeymoon couple to the to some place and when they're there all of a sudden oh [ __ ] there's this tiny remote-control helicopter that comes at them and it has little packages in it and those packages are full of as they find out in the jacuzzi diamonds they get in the jacuzzi then they talk all the diamonds then we're done talking about the diamonds they get right out of the jacuzzi immediately they're done let's go it's a great way to to do exposition in a movie like boobs boobs boobs here's the point of the scene see and then they just leave as noted that's how they do it on Game of Thrones oh oh she only had her nun oh he has nunchuck oh so many nunchucks though even though the day that we use the one prop a man so the point is there are two packages of diamonds in that helicopter now they take one the other one falls into the weeds somewhere and they're meant to be picked up by drug dealers and drug dealers are basically this is the currency for them they're getting the diamonds and then they are exporting some sort of drugs somebody beat us to the stuff they got away if brains were Burchett you'd have a clean cage the drug dealers think these two ladies with the boobs have to both of the packages of diamonds and they immediately go to their house because they know exactly where they live because there's only one pair of boob filled Pilate if you think about it they did park their plane right in front of their house um but they think they have both packages of diamonds and only have one meanwhile one of the boob ladies shoots the bad guy in the [ __ ] face uh but so now they've got that guy mad at them he still thinks they have the diamonds okay so this is this is this is getting very a detailed into the plot it basically comes down to this action and boobs yep that's pretty much and snake Oh what is this this movie is slowly reducing the movie stars the to secret agent ladies whatever they are are played by Playboy models yeah and the movie feels like a movie starring Playboy models look it's developing I just shot such Romero in the face no she's all torn up where's Joey we've got to find him I will say out of the three movies this one has the most dull moments in it mentally oh yeah yeah there's some really great moments but then there's those those long stretches of boring exposition that you don't care about but then you get to a sequence that totally makes up for it would you say it had the best moment of the night yes oh well I'm not sure what to start but honestly I really don't know I know the two agents are coming to town and I the bad guys want to stop them man he must be smoking some heavy doobies what that's what happens when he smoke heavy doobies what why you know why that's in the movie because they found a guy that could do it yeah he goes down the street gets into the par with his crime partner says it's them so then there's an awkward car chase [Music] [Music] I think they're gone down yep right next to you and then the skateboard guy ends up back on a skateboard yes with a blow-up doll coming into shot words them coming back towards them look out he's got a gun whoa whoa why [Applause] I want someone to explain any of that to me finally at the end they've managed to kill most of the drug dealers [Music] he switched up the missiles those are those are the force missiles okay turn you wouldn't believe it rowdy fired six shots at the guy when they get in this van all of a sudden you realize oh my god hey do we kill Seth we didn't kill sir we forgot what what what this is for us it's like he's going back to where they just were where all the bad guys were but Seth isn't even there we find out because right because boob lady goes home boob lady number one goes home and I guys seem they drop her off and she's like clean enough for makeup and she's like boy that was a wacky weekend whatever she's kind of you know in in the house and Seth shows up there [Music] but then she managed just to kill a [ __ ] out of him with like a spear gun and she kills him like five times he just won't he's gonna die and they were saying that movie Halloween that's a good movie [Music] it's like stop burning me so many wounds [Laughter] please let him get up again but so she finally thinks she's got him you know killed completely and goes into the bathroom and it's just kind of like wiping blood off her face and whatever and why from blood up here reflecting on the drama that her life has become flush snake do you think the snake was waiting for that or was it just a coincidence so that [ __ ] uh Seth barges in again like because he's still not dead and he's like oh my god I'm gonna collapse Hey [Music] the funny part about that is that the he already got shot in the face earlier a snake bites him on the other side of the face that guy poor Seth cannot catch a break so the snake bust through and then motorcycle goon without knowing anything that's going on in the house besides it's going to drive through the wall yeah that would've been great if he'd rip through the wallet just ran her over oh maybe I didn't think this through takes a rocket launcher puts it up to his chin you know if this will be n is like deadly prey that's what would have happened human like I [ __ ] killed my new lady friends I'm done with and put the rock luck rocket launcher in his [ __ ] face freeze-frame credits [Music] the hell did that snake come from so our last film of the night was Miami connection [Music] a little bit of backstory before we get into this this is a movie that was made in the mid 80s written directed and starring a kung fu master and inspirational speaker I starts to get the job from Asian don't bother us it played in a theater for two weeks in the 80s and then vanished forever or so we thought until the good people at Drafthouse films found it they bought a copy film print on eBay for 50 bucks not knowing what it was decided it was worth people seeing again and have now distributed it let's is it ever with people seeing yes Jack why don't you explain the plot of Miami connection good luck you know going with the theme of the night very basic plot which is I said though I don't know what was happening I think because there there was there were drug ninjas there's a bunch of ninjas see this it's very weird that the cover is so accurate already we're in the first 10 seconds of the movie yeah Oh looks like they're buying diapers do we have ninjas there they're competent yeah yeah they're doing into things actually changes the drug ninjas were selling to a biker gang yes and the drug ninjas and the biker gang had a run-in with Taekwondo musicians [Music] the sister of the biker gang is in the Taekwondo band and that's why the biker gang doesn't like the band yes because she's dating the bass player from the Taekwondo man yeah is my friend John well Jeff heard a lot of good things about you where'd you find his son of a [ __ ] he's a friend of mine from school a friend and the old man who used to work at the bar where the Taekwondo band plays doesn't like the Taekwondo band for making them lose their job because apparently the bar can only have one band they're playing yes absolutely at any time what are you here for man well I thought I fired you boy yeah you finally won cuz it got me a dragon sound that's [ __ ] take a meat ax don't play goddamn songs for kids now how you [ __ ] they play a lot better than you man you're kidding use your music for old buddy is this improvised [ __ ] just happened oh oh he does come food too everybody knows kung fu in this universe yeah so then they make an alliance with the biker gang to take out the Taekwondo band and that's it and that's pretty much it it really feels like just a series of things that happen whatever you say just remember what I said if you don't want to get hurt you don't scare me at all change I want to talk to you later goodbye let's go John you damn okay kicked his ass there's just scene after scene and there's like a scene where they're in the restaurant and they're just eating and then that's the scene and you're like what was that and then it moves on to another so then they go play a show and then they go play a show and that ends and there was no point to that and then what we get to hear the awesome song that's true the songs in this movie are amazing there's one about friendship that's really great there's one about being because in the movie the characters are against the ninjas and they have a song called against the mini [Music] [Applause] what are they shouting oh hey one hey one stuff like that this is exciting yeah there's kind of it there's kind of a hierarchy of the gangs that you can kind of follow down it's like drug ninja biker gang old band all versus the Taekwondo band and they just want to play their rock and roll songs and practice the Taekwondo and go to college that's it well that's the other thing is is the one character the director of the film is a college student looks like he's 60 check I know what you mean but I want you to get down to the job you must you continue to play there all of them except for the girl look like they're 45 or older yeah but they're all supposed to be in college and I'll like wear t-shirts and backpacks and well when they're wearing shirts because otherwise they're just lounging shirtless around their communal house which is really a running theme tonight lots of shirtlessness a lot of shirtless dude uh boy and women yeah everybody's not well in the Danny stars movie there's plenty but there's lots of shirtless dudes in that too because you know he wants to please everybody give me the ladder person okay you can give me the letter now at Christie's the one roommate he really wants his mail because because his father wasn't around when he was a kid and he just explains this everybody and he's he's absolutely in tears and one of the most awkwardly acting scenes I have ever witnessed since the scene comes out of nowhere it comes out of nowhere John what happened I don't know you won't tell me huh where that Jim what is this letter tell it's gonna close why don't you explain to us come on this was not written from you guys but this usually you're bloated I didn't know you haven't buildin it's my father what his friend is teasing him like I got your bail I got your bail and then he finally gets his mail they're like why do you want your mail so much he's like my father left me and it's like what the [ __ ] is happening everyone gets quiet and the music comes up and it's all just one shot my mother was Korean she gave me this big girl she was real sick he's crying yeah good for him I would have loved a van on the set that guy would that have been wouldn't that have been marvelous just you I'm sure you could just feel the awkwardness and the discomfort it was the most awkward tonal shift I've ever seen in a movie where you're just like wait what movie in my watch he you just hit the brakes swerve left and then continue on with the movie what if that's like all this just needs a place well you know you got it you gotta turn into the spin that's what I bother my father they're all shirtless and happy Oh [Music] [Applause] this should be the end of the movie okay with so that they go get him dressed up and he's gonna go to the airport to meet his dad and that's when the ninja gank shows up like hey get out of our way we got to go the airport you will not make it and then they go into this giant fight and then things go apeshit [Music] so the first half or so of the movie maybe even a little more is very innocent I kept being reminded of like Saved by the Bell like the college years like we're in college so we play songs about friendship and there's bullies and then uh there's some fight scenes the best part of the movie one of the best aspects of the movie is the fact that they clearly shot these fight scenes like in the middle of the street probably at 3:00 in the morning just no permits they just ran out and shot them and that was fun but then at a certain point uh they just start our heroes the band members just start killing people violently killing people [Music] [Applause] I'm just killing everyone they have like slow-motion shots of them all going the best part is that they continue to do those shots after they've killed everyone yeah they're still just so they're like reveling in murder I guess I don't know what that was and then the very end of the movie after they have reveled in the blood of their enemies is a little title card [Music] [Applause] [Music] which one's the best this for me is hard because I loved all of these movies it's very very difficult for me to decide which I enjoyed the most if I if I can say like as I'm being indecisive here and I'm okay with that I don't give a [ __ ] but as you like bond but but but but if we're going with the movie that I was bored the least during because a lot of times these movies even if they're entertaining there might be there's the lulls where you're like oh there's nothing funny nothing interesting is just exposition and badness the one I was bored the least with was Deadly Prey okay you know what the best thing about this week is that none of these movies made me want to kill myself this is an easy choice for me okay you have Deadly Prey which was entertaining but it's ultimately just to knock off of other action movies you have girls and Angie strand I think that's the name of the box art but the hard to get to my Hawaii it is where it is and we know what it is it's boobs we've seen it before it's funny with the snake now with a snake but we've seen them before this is just something so [ __ ] bizarre you have to see it this is batshit crazy I have to go at Miami connection no guys I'm pretty much on the same sort of level as he was like Deadly Prey was yeah was it just the collection of cliches that please me until the end where it's just like total Captain [ __ ] bring down hard ticket to Hawaii it has those set pieces it has those little things the Devils in the details they're like why is there a snake there's no reason I need to be a snake through the whole [ __ ] movie but there it is there's you know and there explosions needed to happen I guess but it's delightful in its own way but then there's Miami connection Miami connection is samurai cop level of just how is how is it a movie how does it mean yeah watching it why did they make it so this idea was this someone was involved in every creative step where it seems like no one was involved in any creative step and yet here the evidence is right in front of you I'm gonna be even though III would love to say Deadly Prey because that's my that's that's the movie I grew up on and so that's my personal favorite I'm going to agree with you with Miami connection because that is a passion project uh YK Kim had a vision of a movie and it came to life in his vision is a-- is a horrible glory [Laughter] [Music]

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 1,754,924

Rating: 4.9550953 out of 5

Keywords: redlettermedia, red, letter, media, mr. plinkett, plinkett, half in the bag, half, in, bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, best of the worst, best, of, worst, deadly prey, miami connection, hard ticket to hawaii

Id: mbWTthXfdBc

Length: 41min 15sec (2475 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 12 2013

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

u/ibringulove however is a big meanie

[u/FloweryFluff]

Wait, where does "gunchunks" or whatever the fuck happen then??

[u/Trakbom]

Jay is not a big meanie? Whatever you say, Joy Cowley.

[u/Choco_Churro_Charlie]

Jay had the best glow up in glow up history.

[u/MortiMortimer55]

Jay only goes after Rich in the edit when he's been slighted. (See Samurai Cop)

[u/tettou13]

"Well ackshuually they're nunchaku so both those are wrong" - Okinawan nunchakuka, probably

[u/fatalanwake]

The meanies came to school one day

The meanies came to school one day

The meanies came to school one day

Guess what happened next?

[u/ruttinator]

Jay was too busy looking for a clip to loop 20 times.

[u/money_sandwich]

It's like a Tums festival - TUMS FESTIVAL - TUMS FESTIVAL - TUMS FESTIVAL - TUMS FESTIVAL - TUMS FESTIVAL