Bert Kreischer - Steve-O’s Wild Ride! Ep #2

ladies and gentlemen thank you for an amazing launch of wild ride with steve-o we're back for episode 2 it was the last thing that we recorded before this whole shutdown went crazy and my guest is clearly quite sick as we taped it I think it's likely he's got the Rona but hey judge for yourself he's an incredible stand-up comedian his name is Bert Kreischer he's a raging alcoholic and a very dear friend I really can't speak highly enough for how much fun we had doing this and let's just get into it ladies and gentlemen enjoy the wild ride yeah okay I'm always impressed by your techno technological know-how you realize that's not who we saw you as when we first met you I thought about you the whole [ __ ] plane flight hey guys on the podcast today's perk ricer I thought about you on the plane the whole [ __ ] time which plane my flight my flight home morning yeah we got to talk about flying when I first met ya we were talking about loyalty programs on Airlines and you said dude it's executive platinum is not the highest level of frequent flyer or what do you call it privilege you know you said there's a secret higher level and you got to know about it it's not become public it's yeah trouble for talking about it they took it away from me at one point people who don't understand what we're talking about we should say that with accumulation of frequent flyer miles you get different levels of status the first one being I believe gold silver gold platinum executive platinum and then that's where it ends on American Airlines right but they actually became public with with this higher secret level which is called concierge key you know dude I can't get it you can't get it you get it it's first of all it is based off of the amount of money you spend on that airline right it's not based on how much you fly this drives me nuts because we now exclusively by first class tickets because I travel with my service dog yeah you know and my service dog is rather large so I was sure that buying first-class tickets for both me and my tour manager here Scott that that would do the trick it's it's it's really reserved it really is reserved for for heads of business so like say you're you run coca-cola you go you know what we're moving all our business to American Airlines and then they're like wow okay thank you you know what let me take care of you when you and and then guys who fly internationally like guys who the concierge ski the concierge skis really RN celebrities they give it to celebrities but it's it's it's a weird like I talked about it on Rogan this is how [ __ ] elite the statuses there's a separate entrance in LA actually you go into someone then takes your bags and then walks you up not just to the front of the TSA line because they they skip everyone that's in TSA everyone's in first class they walk you in front of them then they walk you in front of all the people that are already through that lined up to get their bags on the conveyor belt they walk you to the front of the conveyor belt are you saying you don't have to go through TSA at all I'm go through TSA but they walk you they walk you to the very front of the conveyor belt where you put your stuff down they put your stuff down for you and then send you through guy named Tony shout out to Tony Tony gangster man Tony came to see me do stand-up it at the at the store one time this is my favorite thing that's ever happened Tony walks me to the front of the line right it's early morning I'm all over I feel like [ __ ] and I he walks me in front of everyone at TSA and there's like 20 people and this woman goes excuse me excuse me where do you guys think you're going and he goes on getting him through the front of the line she goes yeah there's a line and he goes well he flies a lot she goes um I'm executive platinum I file a lot and he goes he flies so much I know his name looks really good do I know your name is that's how much he flies it sucks I just lost concierge key like two weeks ago he lost it because I stopped flying so I gave a tour bus right but I'll tell you what man I had a good run this [ __ ] they did for me was insane this the privilege that you'd get the things that you get we're in [ __ ] sane like I mean always you get an SUV would always meet you when you had to go to that that like the J gate where you'd have to take the bus - yeah UV every time you take the bus out there hahaha dude SUV they pick you up they call you when you get to the UM do the best privilege that you got out of car Sierra was when you're boarding you know when against like a [ __ ] show and everyone's around there there's a rep up at the front of the gate we're just waiting for you so you walk around and you don't even let go where everyone is either behind the counter you got behind the counter you go hi I'm mr. Chrysler and they're like what's Chrysler come on and then they walk you onto the plane it was a [ __ ] best dude and then I got in trouble this lady called me at my house she said Burt this is Martha from concierge ski at American Airlines I was like hey Martha she said listen we are extending your service um for concierge but I need to let you know because they took it away all right she goes I need to let you know why we took it away and I said okay she goes please do not mention us on your comedy skits or whatever you're doing I said what she goes she mentions us on a very popular podcast and we do not want anyone talking about concierge key we don't want anyone knowing about concierge key this is a secret privilege that we can ask people and so I'm like I'm definitely not going back now after this because they start the boarding process with it changed now any concierge now people like what the [ __ ] concierge ski the best is when you meet fellow concierge do you guys there's a secret hand they trade stories cuz they always go concierge ski please board first so you get down we never see each other it's like great white sharks right sit down the best the best cause here's Keith story ever I heard ever ever ever is a long time ago guy says um with the bar and he says sees crosshairs on my ticket and he was concierge ski huh yeah he goes what's the biggest thing they ever heard of you I go oh man they they really take care of me he goes top this because I had a flight out of Chicago and I was going to a business meeting and like [ __ ] Omaha and they were and the weather was bad and they were canceling flights because the other other other planes couldn't fly him I said really he goes yeah they got me a private jet holy why they got me a private jet and flew me to my [ __ ] meeting and I went home like I never got that yeah Wow so you're on a flight today today yeah and that's coming back from doing shows yeah I was in uh exactly man it is cotton to such a blur I was in Louisville was last night and then we drove to Nashville this morning and from Nashville man let me say this because I know that I was so [ __ ] blown away when I saw you at the store this was right after I knew you had taped your last special which was a secret secret time and I knew you had just taped that so I'm thinking oh now I'm seeing Bert at the store this is gonna be like he's working on new [ __ ] it's gonna be like get ready Bert's gonna kind of suck right now and dude you you had also just done the marathon hey you came out with this brand-new material about running the marathon you had this [ __ ] bit about buying guns dude that let me tell you something that new this hour I just taped that hour for Netflix that you saw I just taped that that comes out March 17th it's called hey big boy on Netflix that hour showed up to me that our showed up within like one week just randomly one week one week my daughter got her period I bought a gun and I had this most amazing interaction at Starbucks on the same day my daughter got her period and it was like it was a tell you the exact date it was April 13th and I and I remember that because my daughter joke about period parties my daughter got a period on Friday the 13th and April and so I literally got that hour and I was like I remember I'm sitting at that corner and Starbucks going wait I just get all my material for the next special it was like oh my god I've already done in this new hour I've been new hour that I'm touring now and the birdie boy to her birdie boy tour I love that people are calling me pretty boy by the way people and like when they see me on the road like birdie boys that's what my daughter's call me they call me boy and they call me big boy and birdie boy my sister's coming birdie boy my daughters call me big boy and so I love it but this new hour I'm in love with more than the last one and it's just like they just show up they just show up sometimes like sometimes they don't and sometimes they just show up all in like a big clump and then you're like well [ __ ] I'm already done night now I gotta like fine-tune it and tighten it right but thank you is I should have said just said thank you [ __ ] stoked and I knew that I mean right like he said I was like dude he just taped especially he has all this new [ __ ] like his new special is gonna be even doper I'm do this that I mean I could I could be famous say that this will have come out like just after your yeah yeah and what's it what's it called is it called body shots no no the new special is called hey big boy throughout there's a running line where my daughters say to me like hey big boy right like they said that my whole life that's how they talk to me haha remember their whole life I'm really obsessed with this new special because I'm very proud of it because Bill burr said something one time to me in passing bill is a close friend of mine but someone I hold very high cards he's such a genius it doesn't he said if you're not trying something new then you're not doing anything at all so he said if you're not challenging yourself on these specials coming special special trying something new they're not doing they'll I watched a couple guys that I really respect I won't say names but guys I really respect to stand up love their spat first special their second special seemed like a almost like color by numbers exact copy of that first special same type of joke same style of joke same topic same premises and it seemed like they weren't challenging themselves listen I will always be able to write jokes and stories about my daughter's my wife sex drinking all that [ __ ] for me the challenge was how do I get out of my comfort zone and do something that is not typically me a perfect example will be done bit like I was like I don't talk about firearms normally I don't talk about anything political because I don't like to isolate people I like everyone laughs and so I took an approach to that joke where I straddled offense on both sides and have fun at both expenses and I was like oh cool man like I'm Sam triple he was like dude I love you have a gun bit that does not tell anyone what to think right but it allows them to make a call out of it and go this guy's definitely should know I heard you do that bit and I was like [ __ ] I think I might've texted you to that like I was I was like jealous and you know I was thinking about about some kind of a bit for me where I go and like it buying some kind of salt rifle you can straight up no matter what if somebody sells me an assault rifle that's a problem you can even like color up a little bit by saying some pretty freaky wild [ __ ] in there you know like and then I thought in conjunction with this other kind of a long term bit his dude the bars gotten so [ __ ] high for me what now that I've married my stunts and my stand-up into one yeah you know like now I'm going out to do all new stunts for my new hour make an act out it's brilliant brilliant it really is brilliant well thank you but and it's got to be kind of tied into where I'm at in life which is like you know in my forty's approaching my 50s and so I got to go to the colonoscopy guy and I'm gonna be like the first guy that asked the colonoscopy doctor like so how much do you think I could fit in my butt I was talking about trying to shove an oscar up there but really like if I have a goal for it to really train and stretch you know linked up with some dudes and gay porn and to get tips you know I'm determined to do this and I figure it can't be as bad as my degenerative disk disease which I've found out about a couple weeks ago I mean hell my whole body is a disaster from me beating it up over the years and that's probably why it's not a surprise that I found myself waking up feeling like a bag of dog poop but fortunately the people from helix reached out to me and they said we think we can help you they had this little short quiz that you take which determines what is the perfect mattress for you and your partner and I took the quiz they sent me this mattress it showed up I honestly couldn't believe that there was actually a king-size mattress in that box but boy was there we lugged it down into my room and we opened it up kabah it was fascinating I'll tell you right away I knew that I felt it was more comfortable right away I felt I got better sleep and right away and ever since I'm woken up feeling way better in the morning so Thank You helix sleep and Plus don't take this from me they got the number one pick for mattresses in both 2019 and 2020 by both GQ magazine and Wired magazine and why am I telling you all of this what's in it for you well if you go to helix sleep comm slash steve-o you will get up to $200 off any mattress and they will include two free pillows again that is up to $200 off of any of their mattresses and two free pillows if you go to helix sleep comm slash steve-o and you're gonna thank me I know it but let's get back into this crazy idea I'm giving away become a gamer become a gamer and and if I have like a dream a wish it would be to film the buying the assault rifle you know whatever you think about it I don't even want to be involved either I would just like to see less people get shot maybe it would be nice you and so to that end take one assault rifle off the streets by melting it down into like something that I can actually fit up my ass getting it up your ass [ __ ] brilliant right and I don't know what shape is design it's gotta be the whatever shape is gonna fit it like the most volume in my ass it's not about like art it's about [ __ ] logistics how do I get an assignment you figure the woods gonna burn there's some wood I think involved I'm by the way I'm ready to watch I'm brand new at podcast yeah this I got this van for this purpose I had van before this which was just kind of practiced with mmm and dude I think I've become like really pretty top notch at being a guest on podcast amazing guest on our podcast thank you I'm a better guess than I am host I'm not so much my initial idea for my podcast was to have people come and interview me so I was gonna be the guest all the times and I was like in that way I could do it with anyone and so the first one I did was in Mexico with my bartender and I said you wanna be the first get host on my podcast and he was like sure the podcast often sounded a lot like this so who the [ __ ] are you 2010 so you started right when Joe started Joe Joe Joe started a Joe's been I don't know how long Joe's named Joe Rogan's podcast started to 2010 did it was the 10-year anniversary Joe Joe was very III cannot sing enough praise to Joe as a friend and as I could just add just a cool dude he was the first one he was like dude you need a podcast you need a [ __ ] podcast now even if it's just you drinking by yourself and talking into a microphone you need a [ __ ] podcast I bought the equipment set it up in my house and then I gotta give all the credit to Tom Segura came over to my house once it was Easter went back and he hit record Joey Diaz was there my dad was there he hit record and he goes this is your first podcast don't edit it don't think oh my god that's exactly where I'm at I had so many bad [ __ ] podcasts in the beginning where I'm gonna bring him someone on and I'd be like what do I talk to them about and I would just sit there is one I did a podcast one time with an MMA fighter and I thought he was someone else I know him but I to do research I listened to a podcast of someone else oh my god and I got in there and I was like so you're you're like a high-level jujitsu guy and he's like I think you're thinking of and said the other guy's name and as soon as he said that I went oh my god that's exactly what I'm thinking of I listened to this whole podcast this other guy to prepare for this podcast and I ended up I end up what I do in a lot of like I did a podcast with Jason Biggs the other day and it was I was actually a great interviewer like I can be a good interview if I'm really interested in you if I'm not interested in you you can tell like you can definitely tell I've had dudes and then there was a period of time what I do is I just drink with them I'd go if I'm gonna understand them I was just drinking them drink with them we'll get hammered and that'll be the podcast but then I would say some pretty aggressively horrific stuff drunk so I stopped doing that and my view of what it is has just totally you know like been all over the place but my first podcast I did in this fan was with Tony Hawk as we were recording it in my head I'm thinking oh my god this is just [ __ ] going so great oh my god everything I wanted to talk about we got we got to it's like naturally segwayed from one little thing didn't seem like I was you know had a list of questions and I just felt like it was so I was even texting people after like dude if I ever do a podcast they went that goes as well as what we just did with Tony Hawk I'll be so happy yeah and then like this guy is the buddy of mine who I'm doing this podcast with you know he's just some guy you're like sells ads for his friends and whatever like I'm doing it independent and that way I love that by the way I love that I love that I love that that is number one my number one thing is being independent own on your own content do not sell it to one of these big companies and get 50% of the advertising find yourself an ad guy and do your [ __ ] podcast that was brilliant thank you he listens to the Tony Hawk podcast I'm like what do you think I'm just like just tell me how awesome it was and he goes how about if we get together and and and and like you know go through in person I gave you some notes and like we went sit there and I'm like [ __ ] dude I was so excited to have Tony Hawk there were all these things that I wanted to say about like skateboarding and like the and it was just like [ __ ] man there were all these he says right this is right here then my podcast buddy there's an opportunity where Tony Hawk could be telling that like this great thing and like oh I do that I do that aggressively I will have I will have that exact podcast with Justin rent some guy wrote I actually blocked this guy cuz it bothered me so much because he was right he goes so you're telling me you had Justin running your mancave and you told him stories about you and I went yeah and he was like dude I didn't listen to hear stories about you I wanna hear stories about Justin rent he is fighting for pygmies and in Africa building wells for them and you didn't let him talk about it once to like oh my god like you're cutting it down to 14 minutes here's the other thing and I believe it's and if you listen to this please allow this podcast to grow and and give constructive criticisms and be open and constructive criticisms my biggest criticism I ever get is I don't listen to people I do not listen like who the comments or the telling me a story into my brain I'm like Burt you gotta tell them about the time that happened to you yeah and and then I just Charlie up them on every [ __ ] story and you're like like Bobby Flay dude I did a bad one my Bobby Flay came in my house no air conditioning in my man cave he's in a suit it's the middle of summer dude I bet I have a podcast with Dave Attell were you here chickens laying eggs and he's like we're we in [ __ ] Guatemala like it is but I love the broken parts of a podcast like the broken parts make it give it a thumbprint I was thinking about this I was thinking about this today I was because I know you guys are getting together and I don't know what you can say or what nothing I just jackass for was announced by Paramount Pictures yes as greenly now before I crawl into this bag of worms let me tell you that I have never been more excited about a sponsor than I am about this one it's manscaped and I am so excited because I've been saving all of my ball hair and bush and body hair like I've got a bag of pubes that I've been accumulating for almost two years now and and this is important for two reasons number one I think I'm sexier and younger looking with a nice clean body shave plus I'm saving up the the pubes for for something really special okay which you don't have to worry about but every time I harvest and I've been documenting the process I I have cut my balls to where they are bleeding and I'm even like wiping blood on my face it's awful and so like it's been driving me nuts and then along comes manscaped with grooming tools that I'm like I'm so impressed I just used it okay I tried to cut my balls wasn't happening not possible I got this beautiful clean shave with no discomfort whatsoever and you can too plus if you go to manscape calm and use the promo code steve-o you will get 20% off your order and free shipping that's 20% off plus free shipping if you use the promo code steve-o at manscaped calm and I'm telling you your balls are gonna thank me they're gonna thank manscaped and so do I so thank you me escaped and let's talk jackass I was like why why am I so emotionally invested in you guys like that I was sitting there on the plane going why do I care about Steve overbear like I really care about BAM like like I watch him on social media and it seems like he's in a really good place right now I don't know you don't have to say anything but and like when Ryan Dunn passed I I felt like I lost a friend sure and I go it's because you guys we're almost like the first podcast it was like you guys approached media the same way we approached podcasting jackass let you hang out with a bunch of guys and then you felt like you were part of the hang like you got to you would like the third dude in the back seat hanging out or you were the guy on set watching the camp you felt like your eyes oh the camera that's what podcasting is what it's done right it's just someone sitting there feeling like they're in this car so that's what I wanna I was thinking I was like when you are your attempt for a podcast should just allow so I'm gonna feel like they're sitting right here sure I think it's when when technology gets to the place where you can put on VR goggles and you have a VR camera and people can go and then actually be in this van that's gonna be [ __ ] next level when you can go to Rogen's when you can BR and sit in the third seat at Rogen and look around the room and finally look around and feel like they're holy [ __ ] and that is gonna be next [ __ ] level supposed to be the biggest thing ever and it really just wasn't but I'm gonna say about like just the general of like my view on podcasting is it now I just want to be [ __ ] doing it because the difference and what I thought the experience was with Tony Hawk too when we played it back was like [ __ ] and like [ __ ] it I'm embarrassed of the Tony Hawk podcast but I know that by doing this I'm gonna get better at it oh yeah dude and now I will have to say that now I'm a much better interviewer like I never the turn for me was with Adam Carolla this was when I was still doing really bad interviews and my wife was like her laying in bed she goes I don't what am I don't Adam Carolla bout like I know everything about him like what am I gonna talk to him about she goes what do you want to know I was like I don't know like what was it like no she was like what really like what do you want to know and I went how much money he has she was like really and I was like I want to know like when he got fired tell you that when he got fired if he was worried about money like he got fired from and started doing his podcast and she's like ask him that dude one of the best questions I've ever asked on the podcast I go hey when you got fired from Radio we like nervous about money he's like are you [ __ ] kidding me of course I was and it was a great conversation but it was that's what podcasting should be is like there's no boundaries there's no [ __ ] rules like anyone that comes in Dane long time his people were like dude don't talk about his brother stealing all his money and then we get in there and then I'm like hey so what happened with that your brother things tell you everything yeah because he's a regular dude so far I wonder if it's happening to me you just saw my money guy leave in my house I was wondering like who runs your money your dad is like a business man my dad has actually just got remarried and yeah I think he's 76 he's like just partying with this new new wife he has and like and finally he's like hey you know what dude and I'm like thank God because I've been so codependent like dad dad but I still have all my babysitters and my business manager the same one for over a decade and I shared this business manager with Demi Lovato I think I'm in like I think I think I'm pretty safe from anybody doing sketchy stuff but yeah dude and I still I want to bring it back to the to what I was saying before because here's the thing with with my stand-up I've been doing stand-up now like regularly consistently touring for I'm in my 10th year I'm saying guys a lot of guys picked it up and kind of bailed but you didn't oh my god I [ __ ] went for it I went for it but for the first five years even a little more it was so difficult for me to watch footage of me doing stand-up sometimes that would record sometimes that would record my set but then as I started to watch it it would just make me so [ __ ] uncomfortable I just couldn't do it so I avoided watching my stand-up at all costs and then what happened after I recorded my first special then I put together my second hour and and one night on stage my head exploded I thought [ __ ] dude all these stories that this stand-up you know I'm telling in this new hour like all this [ __ ] happened on camera what if I edited the footage into the standup like after the fact and then it's like multimedia like interstitial footage to like illustrate the actual stories I'm telling and I got so excited about it what I did was I started recording my sets and then in the Edit my own little had it be at the house I started actually cutting the footage into it and it worked great but what that did was it forced me it physically [ __ ] forced me to watch me doing stand-up and it was so uncomfortable but the things that made me the most uncomfortable I would flag them like [ __ ] I hate it when I do that [ __ ] I hate it when I do that and I would just simply I would address things yeah I would say dude a lot I say dude a lot I go dude like I'll start it struggle to dude like and I'd and I was like I would say [ __ ] a lot I say [ __ ] so much on stage but when you watch it you're like god damn it like stop saying [ __ ] dude right that's all I do you gotta watch it dude you have to watch it like once I started doing that like the growth in my stand-up was like compared to the five years before it was exponential I mean it just got so much more just so much more comfortable and whatever so I just think I want to apply that to podcasts dude I listened to my first year I listen to all my castes and I would be like goddamn it what are you doing you're stepping all over this guy this guy's got a great story and then you're just jumping in and going let me tell you my story and it's you gotta listen to him in and also I think it helps being a fan of podcasts like when you're a fan you can listen to other podcasts and go oh I would have done that like like I'll tell you the best podcasts out there at Rogan and Marin Rogan Marin just are consistently [ __ ] great interviews I mean I steal from both of them on my podcast consistently like just like well the guests are so entertaining yeah nobody but trust me when I say you can [ __ ] that up yeah put-put Rhonda Patrick on my podcast I could make that a boring interview she's the nutritionist the girl who's all about like sauna lifestyle a job a sauna in my house because of her they said dress on I mean I've been looking it up on Amazon it's like 1800 bucks she's pretty for sure I took the 23andme and sent my info into her website and then she calculates all your [ __ ] and tells you what you should eat based off your DNA okay yeah and should I go you you probably don't like selling really well Louis you're a fan of Tito's and soda no but they're like basement burgers these are wings yeah but they're like based off where you live like somebody from like Norway's not going to benefit off of eating pineapple or bananas because it's just not from the region they're from she's like oh you like reindeer she's like yeah you probably do like you more than likely have a middle toe longer than the other toes you're in the end they'll go through like each quirk that you would have based off of like what you send in there and they're pretty accurate like blood work analysis of like what like food allergies I might or might not have I don't trust [ __ ] 23andme for that [ __ ] there's no better way my sent in for a food sensitivity test where you prick your finger and send it in to tell you what you are meanwhile I shouldn't be talking [ __ ] about 23 because it was one of the potential advertisers that my buddy brought up this morning at breakfast hey they're great over twenty three Emmys a public overcast joke I've ever heard uh kinda wish I remember this guy's name he's out of he I think he owns the stand in New York he's a really smart dude he was like a business guy that got into stand-up he goes I got my 23andme results back I am 98% sit as Sephardic Jew Jewish and 2% sub-saharan Africa you know that wasn't a date I found out I'm four percent Jewish why don't why don't you care about that because I'm so [ __ ] fascinating to me like where you're from I just don't care it doesn't change my [ __ ] life or what I'm gonna like you know do you care about knowing where you from yeah do you know where you know so funny uh one time I was talking to this Native American guy on stage and I said so what's your I think background he goes Native American I said what kind he is Island I like think Cherokee or something and I went oh and you don't know and he was like no I was like what'd you do you should know that he was what are you I said I reset Bank and he goes you're telling me I should be more interesting to myself because I'm Native American he goes you're not interested in yourself and I was like yeah I don't know what the [ __ ] I am either I'm like why would I well I assumed if I was Native American I'd be more fascinated with my lineage something that when the politically correct term for black people is african-american I got to imagine that that would drive anybody nuts to be like like why are you assuming that I came from Africa like I Bank [ __ ] call do not that is lesson number one I learned and stand up in learn at Miami do not call a black person african-american they [ __ ] get livid black don't even go anywhere near no because people are Jamaican people are maybe people are from Dominican they're African Americans so about calling someone African American and Miami such a melting pot i call someone african-american you're assuming right I mean the whole purpose of America was to not be from America right based on immigrants they called a melting pot yeah it's uh more of a TV dinner really [Laughter] a high school in England you know when I got to the University of Miami at 18 years old I forgot I had I had not I had not [ __ ] lived in America from the age of nine so when I got to America I was like what everybody wants to fight like that's all physical jocks like trying to be intimidating that wasn't part of my lifestyle that wasn't something I was used to and the the aggressive racism I was like [ __ ] everybody's so racist what the [ __ ] you know the racist in England too with a bananas on the field when the black guys play soccer really I thought on real time not real time real sports where do they say about that they're like oh come on we're just it's contest like it's been going on for thousands of years yeah well that's weird um I forgot you went to University of Miami yeah oh my god the best joke at Florida State what they like God when they're cheering in the stadium for their football team the Seminoles because it's the Florida State Seminoles which are a Native American tribe like they've got this thing the Tomahawk Chop that they do and it's the same exact Tomahawk Chop that the Atlanta Braves fans do at the baseball stadium in Atlanta the question is what is the difference between the Atlanta Braves Tomahawk Chop and the Florida State Seminoles Tomahawk Chop I don't know at Florida State you get three credits for doing it do a show and I just cancel it no no I don't know I just so I have no interest in so what you taking a bus there sorry to cut you up yeah yeah no I fly in to City then I'm the bus needs to be at the airport we'll do like four cities and then I fly home it's Sunday four days yes well this week we're doing Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday okay this week we're in Boston we're doing three shows that may need you a different tour bus every time Oriole meets you same tour bus dude this is the greatest thing I've ever done in my life on the same tour bus I have everything I want on the tour bus right I get the first day it comes to LA and it we just lose the camera the so the first day the bus comes out to LA and I pulled up to my house and I loaded up all my [ __ ] put some weights in there put like couple pre-rolled joints I get everything everything everything like I'm not a big weed guy but I can take if I take a hit then I stop drinking and so for me I'll take like a hit and then pass out um I put I get all my food get my spice certain like paintings I like to have on the bus I am I turn it into my home I let it tours with me for you know four months and it stays out in the road so when I fly I just have sweatpants backpack headsets phone wallet and that's it so I don't have to end up to bring anything on the road it's so great all my blood pressure medicine I got blood pressure medicine on the bus I got it at home it's like the greatest thing I've ever done in my entire life I love it more than anything you wake up one of my favorite things in the world one of the things that I loved about jackass was in it it felt like I felt like you guys were at camp together like you guys felt like you guys were like vacationing together and the greatest feeling in the world is when you're with a bunch of guys and I just say guys I mean be your friends and you guys wake up in the morning and you're hungover and you're like you're like hey last night it was crazy huh I'm gonna check they got pulled out of the bar by her back of her neck and you're like oh [ __ ] you saw that that congrat that congregating in the morning of like we get that on the tour bus every [ __ ] morning every [ __ ] night bring as many as I can I have I try to have three openers shane torres vedras Trejo and dave williams biggest fear in the world well I checked my heart my heart rate when I get up there and the first the first fight every time which I try to keep it like 30 minutes so ten each or they do 15 each of its two of them or yeah I don't like I'm going much longer because I do an hour and a half but um but yeah and so and then we have my tour bus driver I have a tour manager and the content provider so content content producer and so Instagram like promo videos so I'm Alli sell a lot of tickets through Instagram and so if I can just have a guy with me with a camera to catch stuff and then I can I'm just flipping out like I told Dilber I could kick a 33-yard field goal so we're at Pat Mack at these compound for the Colts and he we [ __ ] around and I put it up do it on Instagram threw on some dates for New York at the end of it BAM so we do a three-minute clip which goes to Facebook YouTube and then we do a one-minute clip for Instagram don't call that guy Pat McAfee on that I mean he's talked about stuff that you know I'm out just saying that I hadn't [ __ ] done my jackass for deal yet and he was talking head heard the announcement from Paramount it's just like talking about Jack has four and at a certain point it became like it felt like didn't make sense to be pretending that like I had my deal done so I just like blurted it out yeah I don't know my deal done yet you know and he was like huh and it was just like turned into like you know [ __ ] can of worms kind of I can't imagine how [ __ ] I can't imagine how sticky and complicated that would be no matter how you're approaching it you know I see when you know the the the the thing you're going to make is going to make lots and lots of money it's got to be it's got to be very difficult I can only imagine do we lose another camel you know I was thinking about that I was like I wouldn't even want to go into it I wouldn't want to ask about it that's why it bothers me like I have a podcast with Bill burr of a podcast with segura cave two guys one cave is being scurrilous me and Tom are have are me and Bill have bill Bert the bill bird podcast we got smoked cigars we smoked cigars well how about I have a cocktail bill doesn't drink anymore but yeah what's it's and and even doing business with your friends in that capacity is I find it uncomfortable sure like like I just said to my business manager I was like hey are we getting paid and he was like yeah I was like cool never mind we getting paid what like like with the Tom thing I was like I really like Tom and I've been doing it for a while he was like yeah he's like I deal with Tom and I was like okay cool yeah like I don't even bring it up I do I don't even bring it up like it just makes me so uncomfortable we feel like you're stepping on his toes I'm not that guy okay how much money am I making you know like I'm not that guy at all I would do it for free I would do the podcast for free I love a man love Tom like the brother but I giggle with that guy so hard and those podcasts sells so many tickets for me on the road I would do him for free but if we're all making money I would want to get paid as well but I that just makes me uncomfortable to the core to talk about money I was I was just kind of frustrated because I in in my view I was like men like [ __ ] I've been so active for over the last ten years you know like I just felt you know that my story all along was you know if we make another movie great if we don't make another movie like I'm doing I'm behaving exactly the same anyway and so I just felt frustrated that paramount like kind of just didn't seem to want to recognize that I've like stayed really active and kind of kept the flames alive you know and that that like I have a story where people are rooting for me let me tell you with that with I don't know the people paramount I apologize I don't know anyone at Paramount I don't know anyone at Fox I don't know anyone at CBS but I will tell you there they live in a bubble and their bubble is starting to fall apart around them and they don't realize it and they don't realize that guys like me and you are making millions of dollars on our own and we're and we're not using the system we have no attachment to the system right um and that the system can't find us that's why they're trying to take ro you know see what CNN did they kind of came out and said I think they came out and said some [ __ ] about him and the reason is he's the number one media outlet in the world right now and and they can't control him he decides that he wants to vote for [ __ ] out we gotta take this guy down I mean I don't know that's what's happening but that is what's happening in my book is you go to a meeting and I'll tell you right now I go to a meeting at a place I won't say names but big networks and they come they go so we want to do a pilot and I go now and they're like wait but I was like I'll just do it on my own I'm like what do you mean I was like I just make it my own and put on youtube and I'll sell tickets I don't need you like have a larger platform as any much larger platform they have no more power that's the problem [ __ ] many people have tried to buy something's burning my cooking show and I'm just like no I like the way I do it I like the way I do it and I don't want to sell it to anyone if you want to do it the way I do it then you can do that by the way my production budget is $2,000 so how the [ __ ] are you gonna compete with that I can foot that bill on my own make the product I want put it out for the fans the way I want to I'm not gonna go to you dude I just did a show I just did a show with Netflix like a series and um and I was so blown away like because as you see this right here next time you're gonna do radio you'll look around and you'll be like god dammit you like throw wasting a lot of money right wait I did that Netflix oh well the first thing I was saying is like oh no we're wasting so much money and my head writer Mike Gibbon said hey this isn't your money you don't get to take it home don't worry about any of that like just make the product they want to make and you're like oh yeah because I got into I got into such a mindset of like I can make this quicker faster and cheaper that it was it was hindering me and and but you realize like when the budget for Jackass has got to be like [ __ ] do you remember but do you remember you guys used to make jackass for like 15 grand an episode that's I mean it's so [ __ ] insane is that you could make that product or your own but but but why not why not everyone make millions and get the [ __ ] out you know but it's like that's where I get that's where I that's my Hill to die on his like I always want to make things cheaper and on my own I just want to it's interesting too that when you say you're in the radio station and they're wasting all this money but at the same time according to our buddy Mike COUNTA in Florida his the biggest radio DJ in the Tampa Bay area he says the terrestrial radio is alive and oh it is it is for him it is for Elliott in the morning it is for Preston and Steve it's for Todd and Tyler for Bob and Tom it is alive in some places but he will admit it is dying a very [ __ ] hospice e death all over the [ __ ] country all it's doing is it's getting rid of the the dead weight and it's allowing guys like him to really establish their platform like his you you'll know the market see where you can go in you do radio and sell tickets people still listen they definitely still listen man there's a lot of markets where they don't [ __ ] listen at all go and try to do a [ __ ] show in San Francisco no one's I bet I've never met them but I'm sure they're dudes are you still doing radio in the morning for for press or no gasps I'm out yeah let's talk about touring do you have a Facebook guy this is one of the best things I've done I don't I don't have to promote my [ __ ] tour dates on Instagram anymore because I've got this this guy that we hired to do Facebook campaigns which are specifically geo-targeted so that they only show up in the area where that show is you put some money behind it to reach more people in [ __ ] it's like you know when we turn on these campaigns we get to ticket counts and it's like [ __ ] I used to do that I used to do that when I was doing clubs I did that now it's like I what I did what I've done now is I yeah I mean I can talk about it but I signed a different type of deal I signed a deal with a promoter and so yeah like one of those and uh and so I have a marketing budget and I just put money I make my own content and then geo-targeting doesn't work as well for me what I do is I do one big video like the dancing video or roller skating video or I'll do one video and that'll sell it the today tickets and then within exclusive theaters and I'm pretty much exclusively in comedy clubs and the gap between those two situations is so frustratingly big it's you know it's like it is I went I was in Louisville last night and I had said my first thing I said I said where were you [ __ ] for 15 [ __ ] years I couldn't sell a ticket in Louisville once I couldn't sell one [ __ ] ticket and Louisville my whole career my whole [ __ ] career not one [ __ ] ticket as a matter of fact I had the dregs of society at my shows that I would have to kick out of that [ __ ] Club and then last night 2,800 people on a Sunday night yeah and you're like lot of it's a lot of it is there when I was younger that someone said I believe in the longtail theory I said what's that and they're like just the more [ __ ] you have the more [ __ ] you'll knock over like a dog with a longer tail knocked over more stuff then a guy with just like one thing like a little sitcom it's like a little nub tail but if you got a sitcom a radio show a movie and and a special then all of a sudden you're not going I think it is my podcasts have three podcasts my cooking show I think it's the fact that I heavily mark it like I'm cognizant of set of mentioning where I'll be when I'll be there and and the Netflix special the Netflix special is a [ __ ] huge game changer but there are people touring that don't have a Netflix special Andrew Schultz huge tour no Netflix special deal bomb huge or no Netflix special um you know pot brought Brendan Brendan Schaub bryan callen huge tour no nefler special right so a lot of it is I mean podcasting is you know when you're getting into half a million ears a week you know all you really need to sell is 70,000 tickets total successful theater tour that's it right so if you can get into 70,000 ears and get those people to come see you get into that second show you second show so yes I mean you add a second show that's the [ __ ] whoo so let's hypothetically say you do the Wilbur Wright first time you're gonna go in your part gonna do $20 tickets I'm guessing you walk out maybe 10 grand I'm guessing that's what you get on that first show when you add a second show your walk out is now goes from that $10,000 show you get the lion's share so you'll maybe go to 50,000 for two shows so you get 40,000 for the next show I'm I'm sure my math is all for it by the way but but it's that's the leap is like well this this jackass movie is going to yeah exponentially help especially and by the way I know you're not gonna try to tell some type of story or narrative about where you are from when they found you to where you are today is such a different human [ __ ] being it is ridiculous and what you're doing on the road is acknowledged by legit professionals in this business like myself Segura Rogan everyone agrees you're not just here to buy a [ __ ] lake house you're here because you love comedy like that's it's it's your thing you do stand-up you do spots in round city you go out you on you're on tour you're in the clubs like the fact that like let it's not a passing phase and so when I think this jackass movie comes out I think it's gonna be really big for your touring like really big I've been just carrying on so grateful to finally be doing this [ __ ] podcast I'm just letting myself not be a bag [ __ ] good at it and I think that already like this is by the way this is by the way you keep saying you're not good at it this is a great there's a great podcast right here unless you've ever done you know man it's do you buy into people in life I do at least Ben Affleck I bought I bought into that dude time ago I was like he's my guy like I'm him and Matt Damon they're my guys I like him I'm an always like what they do I'm always like them for whatever [ __ ] reason that goo boo honey movie got me and I was like all right they're my guys they're my new Harrison Ford's and and [ __ ] unlike that with Mark Wahlberg yeah I love Mark Wahlberg I love like Dirk the shooter Dirk Diggler they're [ __ ] john c reilly uh-huh fall lovable ferrell kristen wiig will you go anything you do I'm in on you I remember where I was when I first saw jackass obviously you know I have a connection with Johnny Knoxville cuz we did some I met him before jackass but when you [ __ ] spit up that goddamn goldfish I would remember I remember where I was and I was like I [ __ ] love this guy man and there's there are there is a thing about your personality that everyone has a stibo in their life like who you were when you're not younger know who you are today you're a very different man you're you have taken such I hope you take this a compliment you've taken such a [ __ ] show of a dude to such a [ __ ] high place we're like it's in so impressive man like honestly you're one of the more impressive guys when I look at who you are where you are today in your work ethic and like how passionate you are about [ __ ] from the guy that I met that spin up the goldfish you know and just seeing you that is like from the guy that was a [ __ ] taking ketamine like crazy and [ __ ] destroying his apartment the fact that you're here is [ __ ] overwhelming I had a I had a I had a kid one time tell me this it's a really interesting statement for a drunk dude with no shirt and wentz bombed to make it was New Year's Eve and I was doing my meet and greet I'm shirtless and this guy's [ __ ] wasted and he's like he's a gay man can I get like two minutes your time and I'm you know immediately a meet and greet you're like oh god yeah and the end the bouncers like hey moving on I don't know give me I give me a second and I go what's up buddy he goes alright I'm a fan do you know what that means I said no because it means when you succeed I succeed I said I don't follow when he goes hear me out hear me out I don't got much going on in my life man but I picked you I picked you through all the podcasts you're the guy that made me laugh the hardest and you're my guy I buy your merch I come to new shows and when you succeed I feel like I succeeded because I made the right decision you'll show you a fan of and I went like I'm a fan of I'm a fan of uh of wilcos like my favorite band and he goes he was when they when good things happen but you get excited for him I go yeah I do and he was that's what a fan is and then he said that and I started going through of all the people I'm fans of and I was like yeah that's [ __ ] so crazy like I like it like yeah like when you see when you pick your people we and they may do something big you're like [ __ ] yeah that's my guy and and and and what is sad is there are people that are too cool to be fans and I get that I won't use you because you're here Bam Margera right Bam Margera Ryan Dunn those guy I am I was legit a fan of Ryan Dunn's like legit mr. [ __ ] that guy for whatever [ __ ] reason he embodied all of a [ __ ] I liked like all of it there was a [ __ ] time when they were up on a scissor thing on Viva La Bam and they were stuck up there for like [ __ ] four hours and then someone came out and said you guys had the keys up there and they didn't realize they put up there for four hours and I was crying laughs and that's what I fell in love with those dudes yeah so when I watch BAM go through his tough times I get bummed out for I do I get bummed out for him and I'm like come on buddy we got we got this knot you got that we got this and then when I see him like hanging out with his kid and being in a good place skateboarding with his kid or hitting a ramp and you go oh he must be in good shape because he's landing tricks I get excited for his his successes make me happy dude once you subscribe to that and you get that everything [ __ ] makes sense everything [ __ ] love it and I'll take a step further as it relates to BAM like I will you're friends with him so like I'm really close to them at the BAM situation and my experience was I didn't even meet him and so we were filming the second season of Jackass and and before like before we were filming the second season of Jackass like I got my hands on his CKY tape this is after the first season had already aired and I got my hands on his CK y2k video which is one something he'd distributed all by himself it was so [ __ ] mind-blowing to me because I was trying to get in people's videos he was like [ __ ] that he produced it edited it distributed it all by himself and it was incredible and I was so [ __ ] jealous of this kid dude my god my buddy was making a porno and as I'm watching this at my buddy's house he's banging this chick on camera I'm just like pounding on the door dude we gotta go like like I was certain I was like we gotta I gotta do something I'm so jealous BAM you know I just about the 6-foot balcony into a pool and and we were on liquid acid that day and I went and threw myself off a bridge while walking on stilts it was just my response to being jealous of BAM yeah to take that and go and to revert it and go I'm gonna take this energy right now just work harder yeah I'm jealous and thank you for motivating me to get that [ __ ] stilts off bridge [ __ ] you know in a bigger sense it's like he was younger than me he was more successful than me he was a better skateboarder than me way richer more creative better-looking you know lying across the boards BAM when tile music the [ __ ] kid had every sewer flush I remember we would just be like the [ __ ] he's got a [ __ ] Lamborghini what like we were recording the [ __ ] second season of Jackass he had just been to the Audi dealership wasn't sure which one he liked best so he bought two at the same time and I was I was a fan of him and then now like to see him go through the times the tough times then you know whenever he's on TMZ it's been bad and like I tell him that you know I've told him straight up to his face like dude like I was always so jealous of you and I just I deeply deeply want to be jealous of you again you know a really beautiful statement yeah that's yeah it's funny man it's funny it's funny too because you're willing to allow it when you're a fan of someone you're willing to allow them to [ __ ] up because you want to see this fade how about the people that you're fans of and then you follow them on social media and ready for this so there's another theory I have and this applies the cancel culture it's a branding issue okay it's a branding issue if you put yourself out as someone and I buy into that and then I find out you're not the person you sold me as I'm out I'm [ __ ] out forever I can't deal with that I think that's a part of the reason I have a hard time quitting drinking is because everyone knows that I like to have a drink my party and I feel like the second I and I think a lot of my fans or people that you know who love weight have a beard have a hotter wife than they deserve they like to party they get their lives you know they can get [ __ ] done but they could do better but like I think that's you know not not to speak and at school about anything but that was what happened with Aziz when because he came out is this like I don't I know I'm not trying to talk [ __ ] about disease I know that he went through a lot with that [ __ ] I'm not trying to add on but like let's do Louie Louie's a better example okay see Louie Louie's told himself as this dirtbag I'm a dirt bag on piece of [ __ ] that's who I am everyone believed that but they didn't really believe it they were like oh he's a great guy he's great guy and then he's like not a jerk off in front of a couple checks everyone's like what the [ __ ] and it's there in their their branding comes out different in their head you know Aziz was this woke Bay like I'm a feminist I'm a FEMINIST and then it turns out you know he likes get [ __ ] funky with chicks and putted their fingers in their mouth and their [ __ ] well that did the branding dis disassociated his fans that's when you lose fans is when your branding comes off wrong but you can't lose fans by being a [ __ ] up dude but when you were at your lowest your fans were like come on steve-o you can't go out like this right now you can't go out like this man I got what he's when he goes I remember this post so vividly I think I texted you when BAM was like man I'm them so I just got robbed what are you gonna do you know I've sent my I'm gonna have a beer and I've got my throne I was like you don't need to tell me the story just have the beer man we get it beer that beer was gonna come whether or not your mom he already had the beer then he walked out to make the statement then he said yeah whatever with Ben Affleck but Ben Affleck laughs like when you know when when you see him struggle he came out of a Hollywood party and he's wasted I go I got your brother I got you don't worry your next movie I'm gonna watch it like I'm still here for you you're my guy tumble all you need to do like lose the [ __ ] dead weight that wasn't there for the [ __ ] ride right that's all I'm stuck on what you just said before about that's why I don't want to stop drinking because like I'm hearing you say that you identify that as like your identity I think I think a lot of people it's like if you found out I mean look at all this James head James Hetfield was a hundred percent beer in his hand every concert the whole time cheers to the crowd like where was anybody [ __ ] mad at him for stopping drinking yeah no but I think he was what is he like fifty something when he stopped eighteen years right he just went back to rehab but dude [ __ ] it was they made this some kind of monster movie and that was like I want to say 2005 or something so 15 years ago he wasn't and and I remember too that I just got my little nine-month chip you know at the dorm whenever either I got sober in 2008 all right and and I went to Metallica concert and they brought me backstage to meet James Hetfield he was in his own like little space dude was just glowing man you could see sobriety like all over me he made it look so good it glows one you man Thanks it glows on you by the way I look like garbage right now because I drank all morning but just a quick story I told him I asked him how long have you been sober and he said seven years at that point this was in December of 2008 so he get sober and she doesn't won and I said dude just got my nine-month chip and I pulled it out it's this little plastic like round like poker chip kind of thing and you get plastic ones and then then when it's a year it's a metal medallion and I'm like my nine-month chip I said no more plastic for me straight heavy metal from here on out like which is my way of saying that I was going to like be diligent and do the work of a sobriety but dude I just like don't feel like you owe it to your [ __ ] fans to keep drinking like it'll be man I'm I can feel that around the corner I just feel I feel like I feel like I'm I look at myself and I go like about betraying brands like I buy it I buy it because it's like it's one thing if if you're [ __ ] not genuine it's one thing if you're if you [ __ ] lie to people and yeah but if I try stop drinking it and then I'm cool with that I think my think people would still come see me what about worried about that horse of course for me it's like it's like I I feel like I'm still so young and in in everything even though I'm old but like like I go out to bars with my fans after the show's I'm by the model bar how many yeah I do I do a raffle for the meet-and-greet so everyone can buy you might as many tickets as you want and and we pull 20 names they can bring as many people as they want we do that meet and greet and then I name a bar in the city and I go to that bar if you weren't drunk it'd be like I get high more I smoke a little weed and then it just it's like there's a like this and so um maybe I maybe take we talked about last night maybe take about 500 pictures right there probably is throughout a night and what by the way I don't mind out what really bothers me is the person who gets four or five pictures with me like one more man I'm like we already got it like October October's it's it's you know it's a it's a game it's like a fun everyone knows that the rules to it no drugs no alcohol fitness I love Socktober every time I get done so October I go I might be done forever how how many how long have you felt like quitting drinking is just around the corner because I remember when you came over to watch the special at Steve's yeah you were saying like you know I think it was like sober October October and you were like you know I think this might be it everything every summer October I go this is it and then and then I I get drunk that first time and I [ __ ] hate it I hate that wake up next morning I go why am I doing this to myself and then and then I don't know it just creeps back into your life and you have a bottle of wine with your wife and then you know someone brings out we'd like I might as well take a hit and you know this lasts over October I got ma lead right before so October started I just started talking about it on stage okay I don't know what really brings it up okay talked about a Ron Rogen and everyone just kind of was like they knew I wasn't it wasn't like it wasn't super funny to me when it happened like it wasn't like you'd expect you know comedian to be like dude that was [ __ ] crazy nobody nobody in the [ __ ] world would ever think that was bad for those people listening or don't know Berndt had a comedian Airy Shaffir over in his house they were recording a podcast Bert's kids were [ __ ] home he had to go to the airport shortly like shortly after the podcast that very same day and they were like hey let's you know let's have a couple drinks together mellow and so Airy Shaffir [ __ ] doses birds drink with [ __ ] Molly's and all of a sudden Birds [ __ ] like having an intense hardcore drug experience in front of his [ __ ] kids having to go to the airport to [ __ ] get on an airplane [ __ ] rolling on [ __ ] Molly nobody thinks that's [ __ ] cool the guy on the flight next to me got the best back massage ever no I just started talking about it because uh Rogan was like hey man you can't you sure you can talk about that on stage I just was like I didn't know how to approach [ __ ] [ __ ] with Ari and people just start disliking I was thinking about that we were driving over to do this with you and I was thinking about that like where do I stand on all that you know like weird like I I don't want to like pile on you're Hawk cancel cultural egglets they like harm this guy and harm his reputation I'm not I'm not out to do that I'm not the [ __ ] police but what were the one thing out of all that like I'm not gonna say oh that it wasn't a joke it wasn't funny like I mean that's just subjective what's not subjective for me and it's about that being on brand thing is I'm saying I was hacked oh yeah but no but that was actually a joke ah that was the joke was it was such a horrible statement that he wrote oh hey guys I was hacked and then you know I I'm definitely not gonna sit here and defend re but I have in the past um I think what [ __ ] him up was the video if he had just left the tweet the video what video is weird it's like remember one right yeah you heard ray rice hit his wife and you're like like oh he's and they've dealt with it it's gonna be fine he'll be back next week then they showed you saw the video very much that he was right there like oh that's a little different yeah [ __ ] he [ __ ] hit me hit her hey I've never been hit that hard in my life and so I think our video was was videos so much worse than that in that case and that in oddly enough but um it's you know there's I don't think there's any right way to deal with that what happened to him I don't he was going to he it's such a [ __ ] show in in all respects of like III don't know what that kind of scrutiny is like to have that many people tweeting death threats and tossing me I don't know what what protocol is no one knows what protocol that is so you're just making decisions flying by the seat of your pants hoping they're right and even the decisions that I offered him in that time where I was like this is what I think you should do and in retrospect were wrong and and and like I say well in me maybe he thinks so and so I I know Tom and I talked about it and we you know said what we said on our podcast and he was very upset by that I don't know man I really like you know I think that you were pretty pretty objective pretty fair yeah I think Tom I thought so too but you know also in that time when he's upset he's also going through all this fear of his life and and being assaulted and so I'm sure he wasn't thinking clearly you know during that time either but uh but yeah and and and and then I didn't want to talk about the Molly stuff because it's right on the tails of this Kobe thing and it's just like I fella girls piling on and Jose I mean you can demolish that on stage was that it was I think sober I was right before sober October than one that he dosed you and it's you and it's Segura and it's area should fear it's broken all in the same [ __ ] room and like the story comes out I felt like I mean I was like pissed off for you in a way that just everyone was kind of like maybe because he was in the room maybe I think it was I mean Joe and I talked after that and he was like hey man I don't think I ma'am not I don't like speaking for Joe and I don't like sharing private conversations but I think I'm okay to say this he was like I don't think the weight of that hit me when you told me on the podcast I don't think I I don't think I understood what how [ __ ] up that was I wanted to wait to hit I know but I think what happened was I had told segura on the phone and Segura said I was [ __ ] up and the weight didn't hit him and tell that podcast when he was on that podcast he was like yeah man you told me on the phone and I didn't really understand it and he goes and I think that's what Joe was going through is he heard it but he didn't understand it and then two days later is like wait that was really [ __ ] up and so it was a really weird situation in this weird situation when you live your life out on podcasts out in the open like that we're like you're like you roll the dice am I gonna become a meme you know like like what the [ __ ] yeah whose it was dude the thing that sucked about it is a month or for all of sober October my serotonin levels were off and so I was like going to hardcore depression and anxiety also October so I didn't even get to enjoy sobriety the way I had in the past I never felt I felt at unease because you're rolling so hard okay no because you know I think when you do Molly think I don't know but I'm assuming it borrows good energy and floods your head with that and then the next couple weeks you gonna rebuild that good energy like it takes from tomorrow and so I had anxiety attacks throughout the entire month are you are you and re 100% our is it like 92 no we're fine I don't know I would I mean look I told him I said it definitely changes a lot of things you never allowed my house again my wife hates him to death my wife my kids my kids [ __ ] hate him like yeah what sucks sucks is I loved him I lent him connected on so many things they're both weirdo brains and I loved him and then she saw me texting him what was at my sister's house she saw me texting him he owes Oh why would you text him and I went oh it's complicated because it's not complicated she goes dad he almost killed my dad and I went huh she goes wait how would you feel if I was texting someone who drugged me no oh my god I would not like it she went grab my phone and I went [ __ ] [ __ ] everything up man like my you're never gonna be allowed in my house again that's what made me so upset as I go and he just it he you know I mean we've talked on the phone we've talked a couple times I haven't really seen him um you know in the COBE stuff went down I texted him a couple times I called him that Monday you know and talked to him a little bit but uh but you know it's it's complicated but you know I think that if anything I'm very capable of forgiving people maybe too capable good he was scheduled to tape a new Netflix special right did that just go away yeah well it was it was he was paying for it himself I don't know if Netflix had bought it yet but he was paying for it for himself and not to speak to out of school once again but I think it was just a liability issue of the people working on there were a little nervous there were death threats but but it sounded like it sounded like the tickets were sold people were still got he ended up doing the shows the those were awesome you know I don't think I don't think cancel culture I think it only applies when you let it apply I guess cuz I don't think anything's really changing for him he didn't have any tour dates he was done his tour you know he's doing shows in New York no one's approaching him no one seems to be right yeah I don't think he's gonna be hosting America's Got Talent and he's but he seems to be doing fine and then kind of oblivious to the you know he was stayed offline so he was really oblivious to the backlash like he just stayed offline and I was like I was like I was like wow I checked it out a couple times that's like not a guy I know gone through was really upset Bryan Callen was really upset and Michael Rapaport beyond them was measured Cal was measured on the podcast it was it was it was a super tricky situation to be put in as his friend no no but and I think that was the wisest thing anyone is cuz it's really hard in that moment to say hey this guy is not the villain cuz he did do something that everyone sees as hateful he's going I know a different guy than that and it's it was just super complicated and so even there so watch this he'll get upset with me about talking about because I won't frame advance should be able to respect that and I and I and I told him I said man it's hard it's a hard thing to talk about and your people have to talk about I don't say men don't anybody to be like forever like I don't subscribe to that yeah and so they're there it is yeah yeah but uh my wife so [ __ ] much you have no idea yeah I mean oh I wouldn't write when it happened I went back I took my wife I walked already out I took my wife into the bathroom with my cousin Andrew and I said I'm gonna tell you something and I need you not to have emotion about it she was like that's not fair I go mmm-hmm no you need to just shut it down and she said okay I said re slip me Molly this woman I haven't seen her mad like that ever and but what really sucked is no one took care of me in that moment like I was like I'm the one that's [ __ ] scared and she was so she went okay what do you need for me some money to get out of the house I think I'm going not gonna say goodbye to the girls I need to get the [ __ ] out here I'm gonna go to the store and I'm gonna wait for my flight there and I'm gonna go drink she went okay I said I need you to get me packed she was like deal packed me got me in a car service gave me a kiss and my packed it means like a toothbrush backpack in blood pressure medicine I weighed the store the first person I saw was David Spade Oh David Spade it's like how you doing I said I've been molly'd and he was like huh and then already walked in the same room and he's like are some tamale stop being a [ __ ] about it and I'm like it was so [ __ ] it was such a fucked-up night everything about it like I'm on the plane just blowing up going like walking up and down the aisle like hey anyone wanna party you know it's just is it was insane was [ __ ] Molly's be pure the ecstasy we used to get was just basically amphetamines and I think that's basically but Molly man the new model isn't that bad to start feeling good immediately panic set in when he when he said to me he goes I said are you on something he was acting weird he was I don't know are you on something I went no and he was pretty sure and I went yeah I'm sure Ari and he goes okay I'm gonna tell you something and you cannot be mad about it I know all right he goes you're on Molly and I went what he was I slipped you Molly and subdue Molly so it's already happened I go did you talk to my cardiologist about this he was like excuse me I said I'm on blood-pressure medicine already did I mean this might kill me anyone I didn't think about that let go I go whoa hold on I gotta get a real plane tonight he's like mom I didn't realize that either okay but it's already happened and I was [ __ ] I had a panic attack so I was like I was like oh my god I am feeling this like this is what I've been feeling and I thought I was just having like little flighty anxieties and I was like oh [ __ ] I'm on Molly and then I started freaking out my cousin Andrew randomly walked up I love my cousin Andrew sat next to me and I started rubbing his back and I felt a lot better and then Joey Diaz came over and once Joey Diaz got there I was like I was like goddamn he's so beautiful like the Sun was backlit and I could see the the leaves and I saw Artie's eyes are really pretty and I was like holy [ __ ] I was like this is [ __ ] awesome but I also in the moment was like I was well aware of the repercussions of this I was like you are my friend and now you have [ __ ] up us being friends forever because my wife will not let you but my house I will never be able to defend going on vacation with you again my wife will there's certain things where my wife side why would you do that my daughters are now gonna hate you the worst part is like a month later my daughter's come we're all sit at the table we were talking about it and my daughter I love walks by my wife said hey let's drop it got ears in the room and Isla goes no I know what happened and we're like what Georgia an island came in we have friends she said yeah kids at school talked about it I said what'd she just say the kids at school know what told me what happened I said what'd they tell you and they go what happened that re roofied you and raped you I was like what she was like yeah yeah he raped you right I was like no eaters like no sometimes dad when you've been roofied you don't know you've been raped no one [ __ ] rapes my backyard like what [ __ ] what cool kisses I got raped and they don't even bring it up then I goes he didn't rape me you know like why didn't he rape you I was like why would he raped me and I'm like well why would he drug you he's not gonna rape you I'm like no one raped what was greater than 10th grade and 8th grade now but yeah but it was it was just such a [ __ ] up sanera but then that's the way partisan you know you live this life I don't the public like this just gonna come back you know it's like what the [ __ ] do Somali the best part of this joke the best part of the story my wife's still [ __ ] livid still [ __ ] livid my daughters go home I only did Ari give you then I go he gave me half Molly and our friends are at the table why would someone give you a half a Molly and Liam leans forward and in the fried by the way I haven't laughed about this event yet I had not won I haven't found any part of this funny I haven't laughed about the entire incident yet Lee Anne leans forward in a perfect teaching moment she goes he gave him half a Molly because he's Jewish huge thanks to her for that and to everybody who is still on this ride with us please shoot me a tweet and let me know that you actually like stuck with it that whole time if you have any notes any ideas how I can improve I really am serious about wanting this to get better and better and your feedback is gonna be very very welcome that was the last one we taped before the shutdown and I don't even know where or how we're moving forward from here but we're gonna I know it it's gonna be a wild ride so thank you for [ __ ] being here man yeah dude sweet

Channel: Steve-O's Wild Ride! - Podcast

Views: 2,121,449

Keywords: steveo, steve o, steve-o, steve o podcast, wild ride podcast, wild ride, wild ride with steve o, jackass podcast, jackass, wildboyz, podcast, standup comedy, steveo's wildride, scott randolph, paul brisske, bert kreischer, the machine, bert, bertcast

Id: RRuk9pBeJns

Length: 89min 2sec (5342 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 26 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/nbury33]

It pains me to listen to Steve-o. It sounds like it hurts so much when he speaks

[u/dude_yes_way]

Currently watching!