Barbara O'Neill - Part 16: Healing the Mind

[Music] [Music] [Music] good afternoon everyone it was a delicious lunch wasn't it and I am a dessert lover I don't have it every day I just have it sometimes but it just shows how you can make delicious desserts there we are there's the voice you can make delicious desserts without having to use things that harm you my husband loves apple strudel and I'm making one sometimes once a week sometimes once a fortnight I make it out of spelt flour I roll it then I put grated apple on I sprinkle it with maple syrup roll it up it's so easy and how yummy to that so there's there's so much that you can do that people don't realize God gave us taste buds for a reason hey food should taste fantastic but it should also be such that it's going to build up healthy bodies and minds and as you saw this morning there are some things that are people eating that are done realize that it's actually affecting the way they're thinking so my lecture tonight this afternoon is entitled healing the mind to understand how the mind heals we need to have a look at the basic laws that govern the functioning of the brain and the first law of the mind is the law of cause and effect and effect follows course with unvarying degree all through nature and never should they be the effect be blamed as the course and how often it is I told you the story this morning of the lady who got panic attacks and she thought that she'd got panic attacks as if it's if his efforts the cause of all her problems but it was actually the effect of all her problems and I was able to show her how to rewire her brain so that she could overcome her panic attacks and I've seen quite a few people being able to overcome their panic attacks it doesn't happen overnight it doesn't happen straightaway and the things that I recite to you I didn't read yesterday all yesterday and the beautiful piano playing we heard this morning it didn't happen yesterday either you know rome wasn't built in a day sand that the old say but little by little by little practice makes perfect and practice makes permanent as well as I showed you in the pathway that comes in the brain so always should we put our detective hat on and find out why these things are so there's a verse in the Bible that says do unto others as you would have them do to you now this is more than a nice saying this is divine law and that law states that whatever you give out you shall receive again now that's great news and it's bad news when it's a bad news when what you're giving out is not good one lady said to me last week she's 80 my son held me down and forced medication down my throat I said or dear she said yes I used to do it to him what can I say and if you have you seen the little brush the little sticker on the back of a car parents be nice to your children they're gonna choose your old folks home life serves back in the coin you pay so be careful be careful what you're giving out and some people say well they need to know what it feels like you know I've been hurt well maybe so but not by your hand because if it is by your hand is what does that law state it's coming back again so how can you walk away from heartache from pain from abuse there is a way and the second law covers it it's the law of choice and the choice that enables us to walk away from heartache is the choice to forgive and what most people don't understand if the is that forgiveness is not a feeling forgiveness is a frontal lobe choice in fact if you were to wait till you felt like forgiving I'd like to suggest that we would never do No it's a frontal lobe decision it's like the young girl that I was working with she is 14 she's angry she's bitter her father had sexually abused her from 6 to 9 years of age but I knew what's he's gonna do for her life what's it going to do for every relationship her marriage her her role as a parent so I decided to take the plunge you know when you turn the hot water off and just have cold water on what I plunge every morning when I go into that coal creek I took the plunge and I sat with her when I gave myself a bit of time and I was going to go through this with her and I said do you know there is one way that you can be freed from the heartache that you're feeling and that is by forgiveness she said no way he does not deserve to be forgiven I said absolutely right but it's got nothing to do with it as the time went on I explained to how forgiveness cuts the chains that bind you to that painful past forgiveness gives you wings forgiveness gives you freedom forgiveness is the only prescription in the entire universe that has the power to break the chemical bonds of hostility anger and hate you don't have to feel like it you know as we read through it finally I think it took about an hour and a half Bonnie she said alright I forgive now some might say I don't think she felt like it how could she feel like it she made a frontal lobe decision even with onea half developed frontal lobe she said alright I forgive I jumped up I shook her hand I said congratulations you have just made probably the most important decision of your life now when she said all right I forgive we've got a tiny little pathway there when I shook her hand what did it do to the pathway just put a little bit more in there do you know that afternoon she said I'm feeling better about it I said you are experiencing a law of the mind and that law states it's the third law it states that your words affect your feelings don't wait till you feel like it just do us because when you do it then you'll feel like it maybe not immediately but little by little by little and every day she felt like it a little bit more because practice makes perfect and practice makes permanent as I showed you this morning now she had a pathway that was quite strong in her brain which was a resentment and anger you know research is showing now that anxiety discontent remorse guilt distrust can all break down the life forces and invite and decay and death into the body now that little book that I think you've picked up called the Ministry of healing if you go to the chapter mind cure you will find that statement in there that grief anxiety discontent for a more still guilt distrust all break down the life forces and can invite decay and death into the human body that's quite a statement and that was written 100 years ago and look what science shows today dr. Carolyn leaf in her book who switched off my brain she shows that when we entertain or cherish negativity and resentment anger anxiety it's it's negativity when we entertain negativity it's like a breeze going through our mind now we are all tempted with negativity or am i the only one we all are now that negative thought comes into the mind and it's like a breeze and what's through the branches of your nerves and if you decide to hold on to it by cherishing is entertaining it little thorns grow between the dendrites and those little thorns are physical thorns that the science is showing can cause damage in your nervous system to the point of psychosomatic diseases all because we cherished and held on to negative thoughts you don't have to feel like it how could you just do it like this young girl or oh no grace now every day I'd look at her and never a Saul I had to do okay children are very very bright don't say that obvious okay you're implying that they're yes they're very bright I just looked at her yes it wasn't my daughter I just looked at her and she smiled and then I know there's a confirmation there's a confirmation and every day this pathway of anxiety discontent remorse got thinner and thinner and every day the forgiveness pathway got larger and larger and larger isn't that nice that that is how also we can rewire our brain we can rewire our brain from anxiety discontent remorse guilt distrust and we can do we can rewire that to go down and love joy peace goodness gentleness generosity a down those pathway we have a choice we actually have a choice other way whether we're happy or sad and we have no right to be sad when I was in Nakuru Kenya Michael and I were driving slowly we had to drive slowly because there was a girl in front of us who looked about 15 who had all these huge huge containers of water I don't know how she stayed off on a little bike and we didn't want to be responsible for causing her to go over wow we're going slammer again past a rubbish tip and we looked in and children were jumping out of the rubbish that was their home these children lived in the rubbish tip and we're looking at them and you you should have seen the smiles the biggest I've ever seen what was their home the rubbish tip what do you think they ate probably rotten banana skins and my friend who has a orphanage there she has a whole lot of little children and I'd say to them you like it here oh I love it here they don't bit me I used to be beaten every day one day it was a whip one day was a stick one day was the court off the iron I don't get beaten here huh no my life is terrible I used to be beaten oh he was so happy I said so you like it here he said y'all got a bed no pillow Edie I was so happy I was so happy you see happiness is a state of mind and you know what we can choose that state of mind so happiness is also a choice let me restate a a Milne the poet he said the world is full of so many things we all should be as happy as Kings but we also know happiness is not Judith things isn't there's not two things it's actually something that happens inside of your so when we entertain or cherish negativity those little thorns grow that have the ability to damage the tissues and the longer they're there the bigger they get love is also a choice I'm so glad love is a choice you see 20 years ago Michael O'Neill decided he needed a wife so he made a list he's a businessman and if it works on paper it must work if you're going to choose a wife and he made a list of all that positives and all the negatives of every woman he knew he was 39 at the time unbeknownst to me I was on the list we've been friends for about ten years we used to see each other at home school camps here little ones I had little ones I knew that his wife had had left him I a few years ago I've been single for four years unbeknownst to me he had this list and I heard the story later he said one name kept going to the top of the list and it wasn't it was Barbara yes but he said I had two negatives against my name I was older than him so I was three-and-a-half years older than he thought he never would have considered a woman older than anybody said he was nearly 40 so what does it matter the other negative was I had six children who's going to take on six children a but he said when I moved up to the area and he got to know the children now a really hard worker so that went to the positive side of an army of workers so he said to his daughter one day after this list of been going on a year he went in and he said well today's the day I will ask mrs. Russ to marry me she said dad you have to ask her out he said no there's going to be nothing emotional about this decision anyway she must have worn him down and I get a phone call would you like to go out for tea I said yes I very much liked mr. O'Neal I just thought she can't get near him with a ten-foot pole and here he is asking me out and I don't usually eat an evening bill but sometimes you can find a little hole can't you we have to be social anyway we talked about the weather and the health retreat you see he was the business management as the health retreat where my daughter was working and I was working also in the health retreat part-time because I still had children homeschooling anyway four days later he said to his daughter the courtships gone on long enough today's the day I will ask mrs. Russ to marry me anyway I was in my daughter's house which was on the property and he came in in the afternoon he said I've got a few things I need to talk to you about I said yes he said well I've been thinking about things and I think we should get married that was it I said this is very analytical he said yes I'm a very analytical person I said well I think two when two people marry they should love each other and when I said daddy went hmm he said well I'm very attracted to you and I love you character and I thought wow mr. O'Neal thinks that about me I certainly feel the same about him so I said yes I will just like that it seems like a very frivolous answer to a life changing question but Michael and I have known each other casually for 10 years and for the last three years my daughter's had worked for him so I've got to know him a bit more and I thought yeah I like this guy it's just that I thought you don't allow yourself to like because it's unsafe so what was in he said great meet me tonight at my house with all the kids now this is the age of the kids mine 10 he's 11 mine 12 his 13 mine 14 months 16 months 19 1 21 they were the ages of the children today they are 29 30 31 32 33 36 39 20 and 7 days ago my eldest daughter was supposed to have a baby we're still waiting that's number 16 Tran child she has home birth she's she's gonna wait so Marcus said no need to wait let's get married but you just can't get married we had to wait weeks so but what was interesting is the next day he walked past the window and my heart began to beat and I thought oh oh that's right I'm marrying him when I said yes I will my feelings followed it's a law of the mind that your words affect your feelings and I must say it's one of the best decisions I made your your choice to love is here it's a frontal lobe decision now you're not going to choose someone who asks because you think well they for a woman you'll be looking at a good provider you know that is a good man now there must be an attraction but how often is that the attraction is the only thing you see Hollywood's wrong did you know that you look at the movie stars you know they're on their third and fourth and fifth partner they don't know what love is love is a choice and I'm so glad love is a choice and so when I ran over Michaels computer with the car long story see where I live when I've never locked my door never locked my front door never take the keys out of my car we live out in the bush and wearing the city and wearing well the suburbs around the Sydney and Michael's driving every night I don't mind driving I used to drive all the time when I was younger but he's called away and so I have to come out and get in the car to go to the meeting and I come out of the car I come out of the house there's the car there I've got his computer he kept saying don't forget my computer yes users oh that's locked I put the computer down I ran around to open the door I found out later I could have pressed a button I ran back inside I get the box diligence is my second name I get the next thing I run around I get in the car got boom ah what was that anyway I roll back a bit and there it is on the driveway the handle of the computer case just oh dear and then I get a call it's Michael hey game all right what's the matter you know how you just dive in the deep end I just ran out of your computer in the car oh uh well I'm gonna go I'm backing out now yeah right now what do you think I'm challenged with right at that point you idiot huh aren't we often the worst on ourselves so my feelings are saying yes anyway early that morning I gave my frontal lobe to God I went to bed early I'm not taking any of these things I'm exercising I'm drinking my water I'm having nourishing food so frontal lobe is Sparky can you see why we needed to be sparking it's Sparky so frontal when feelings go you idiot frontal lobe says I'll settle down it was an accident you're not used to locking the car did it there was dusk and it did it ah what have I done I'll settle down you have have to speak to 80 people just this let it go can you see the dialogue and that's where God communicates with you that's why it's so good to give it to him you get some good messages so you know what I said my feelings back off remember the wild horse war put the reins on back off back off and I'll let it go it was a struggle it was a struggle and every now and that came up again back what if I'd taken it on I probably started crying they're not gonna only drive how am I gonna lecture 10 minutes later I get a call it's Michael he says it's alright or how I love that man ah can you see what love is look I have to tell you young people the gray hair comes and the wrinkles come and you'll be disappointed if that's what you've fallen in love with it's its character that's what you fall in love with my husband hasn't got really big muscles but I think it's the strongest man on the planet what's what's the illustration of strength the strength of a man of a woman is their ability to control their feelings the weakness of a man of a woman is the ability of their feelings to control them and I taught my boys this proverb it's proverbs 30 - sorry it's proverbs 16:32 I think it's 1632 hear that his slow to anger is better than the mighty and he that rule with his spirit then he that taketh a city I heard someone say to Michael when they heard that story well you had 10 minutes to calm down did you he said no he said as soon as I heard it I immediately thought I'm right out where are we gonna get another computer now you can rewire your brain to do that don't waste time on beating yourself up or beating someone else up put up your hand if you've never made a mistake one little seven-year-old boy Oh congratulations you see what I'm saying we've all been there haven't we we've all maybe you've never run over a computer in the car life is made up of those tiny little things isn't it and what made me say to you I love that man when he said it's all right well $1200 later he's got an even better computer and we found a computer geek that was able to get it all up and every now and then he'll drop a little joke about running over computers with cars but you know what I do laughs I'd be a fool to go do you know there's a problem it's a it's project I know I think it's son some 119 verse 165 great peace have they which love thy law and nothing shall offend them how nice to be nice words effect feeling so be very very careful on your words there's a proverb and it's proverbs 12:18 it says there is thatthat speakers like the piercings of a sword but the tongue of the wisest health by the way who's that the piercings of a sword - oh yes - the people adhere it but what about the speaker have you ever been with someone who's just lost it and then an hour or two later they won't even look at you it's pierced then it's piss then the fourth law states that your words reveal your feelings and you cannot let them all out some say it's your right to speak your mind it's actually your obligation not to speak your mind our children were brought up in a home where it was considered a weakness if you lost it it was considered a weakness if you let loud angry words come out and it isn't weakness I was talking to some young boys recently and they said ah you know it was actually my grandson in America there's this some hockey player and sometimes he gets his hockey stick and breaks it he is so strong I said that is not a strong man I said that is a weak man that is a whip man breaking a hockey stick there's not strength you know what strength is when you're tempted when you'll be yelled and screamed at and accused of terrible things you can't you're a man car you're a man car and if that is happening to you you know what you're saying yourself poor guy poor gone they got a real problem I better pray for me ah that is the best attitude to have you have no say over what people say to you but you have total say over what you do with it mm-hmm you have total say over what you doing it your words reveal your feelings and you cannot the more out proverb 29:11 states the fool utters all his mind but the wise man keeps it until afterwards there's another proverb at some proverbs 13 verse 3 it says he that open his mouth shall have destruction but he that keepeth it shall have peace and there's another proverb its proverbs 17 27 it says even a fool when he holds his peace is counted wise and he that shuddered his lips is esteemed a man of understanding and in James 1 I think it's verse verse some 19 or 12 one of those and says that every man be swift to hear slow to speak slow to anger for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God so be careful on those words but I'm upset we'll go for a run can't run I have a cold shower haven't got a shower have a great big drink of water go outside and breathe deeply do not speak until good boss is once against the boss because when feelings are boss what comes out is not good and all how many words have been said that should never have been said mm-hmm I'll tell you the story of my fifth son Peter he was dyslexic well he is dyslexic he just couldn't get anything I'm glad my fifth child I've I didn't teach him till he was seven because he just wasn't getting anything when this happened he's nine he's knows all his letters he knows the basic words and he's doing school by himself the school and I taught my children basically that was a self-taught school I would teach them the basics and then they had a little booklets that they worked on and I would oversee I'm with James who's eight years old and we're doing long division man what's this words Peter I said James hold on a minute I'll just check Pete and I looked at the word and I saw read the the work was that I told him that thousands of times what am i feeling still what is the matter with this kid when is he going to get it I had to leave long division for the that now early that morning I gave my heart to God frontal lobes there none of that are in all working well so there's this frantic dialogue I'm feeling what's the matter with this kid when's he going to get it the other kids did that the frontal lobes st. yeah and how's it gonna feel if you say that you know this is a different kid you know he's your best worker you know that he said to you one day how come out eyes are so little and what we see is so big couldn't answer that one he's a different kid you know can you see the dialogue what would I have said if that was going in and I'd gone a bit too late Kazan on Facebook and I wasn't drinking my water took the Peter what's the matter with you when are you gonna get it helmet and if I had said that how do I feel now there was that that speakers like the piercings of a sword pierce I feel like an idiot I walk away Peter's crying Jessica's crying do I feel like helping James with his long division now what you had anyone who gets in my way can you say that the battle was fierce I took some deep breaths Peter's just still looking at the word the Peter ah as if I've never told in the before don't walk away that's it no man friend I'm walking away when I walk away how do I feel like I'm mighty khakhra uh-huh you know the Bible says in Colossians 4 verse 6 let your speech be always with grace seasoned with salt that you may know how you ought to answer every man hmm it was a battle don't why and when you win that battle you know it's easy to win the next one and the next one it would be better that you ran outside and run around the block three times with your ninety on then lose it with your children then the funny farm truck comes because there's a lady running around in a nightie that's perfectly round it's my morning walk I know one little girl mother used to scream it and then the phone rang and the mother would go oh hello and what does that child thing my mother likes a person on the phone but it's a struggle we all get challenged that's why I just drop everything and run outside and do ten push-ups on the ground or whatever it takes come back right I'll talk about it your words reveal your feelings and you can't all come out that's where the physical can help number five is the law of adaptation the law of adaptation states that we have a brain that changes do you know the Proverbs talked about it but it's only twelve years science has acknowledged it here are the province one is proverbs ten sorry no no no proverbs 13 verse 20 it says he that walketh with wise men shall be wise but a companion of fools will be destroyed because of the law of adaptation the other proverbs is proverbs 22:24 it says make no friendship with an with a furious man thou shalt not go lest thou learn his ways and get a snare for thy soul because of the law of adaptation and because of the law of interpretation the brain has the ability to grow and the brain has the ability to shrink so let me give you a terrible growing scenario the fish that got away every time the story is told how big does the fish get do you know if you continually relate painful past what can happen to it it connects it grows it can actually get bigger than it really is and who would want that but something else is growing it's these little thorns growing in between the dendrite causing damage well what's a wonderful growing scenario every time you learn something new you grow another dendrite you grow another dendrite learn a new piece on the piano I love knitting every time I learn a new pattern I grow another dendrite I am learning to play the piano recorder Michael doesn't run out of the room every time I pick it up now every time a new dendrite and you dendrite and that one nerve cell them we've got one trillion in our brain it has the ability to grow 70,000 dendrites as I mentioned this morning Wow so what causes the growth the best growth learning a musical instrument can you play a musical instrument the rest of the day oh good the rest of the day you can spend choosing your instrument can't for one whose mouth organ recorder are you cheating if you get a tambourine or of course all right triangle learning a new language I was reading in the newspaper when I don't usually read it but I'm in the Qantas come for five hours and I read through Australian aha it says it said in their research has been done that if people in the latter years of life learn a new line which they can slow down Alzheimer's by six years all they have to do is spend five hours a week learning linear language that's incredible isn't it that was only a few days ago I read that also memorizing scripture the Word of God is powerful there's a wonderful verse it's uh it's in Hebrews 4 verse 12 it says the Word of God is quick powerful sharper than any two-edged sword piercing even the dividing asunder of soul and spirit and of the joints and marrow of the heart wow I love learning the word of God memorizing is one of my favorite things to do and a few years ago I was memorizing the first fourteen verses in John chapter one and I'm walking away walking up the hills and I couldn't remember verse nine I couldn't remember verse nine so what I do is I go back I go forward I go upside down back to front and I couldn't get it and I'm getting nearer to the house and I start running I'm started running and I ran inside open the Bible ah that was the true light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world I'll never forget verse 9 it's actually fun playing games with your brain I'll love it and this morning there are a couple of verses I wanted to remember and I could only remember the first verse and I would not open my Bible I challenged it I challenged it and then I went somewhere else and then I came back and challenged it and challenged it again and finally I got it because it's in there it's in the pathways are in there he learnt piano was a child the pathways would be there my son-in-law grew up in Minnesota Wisconsin and he learned to skate on the ice as a child five-year-old child he said it's interesting we learn to skate really good when there are no parents around did you know that no child will throw a tantrum for another child have you noticed just four parents but the students stopped me in you throw the back of the cold water over just lure them outside so you don't miss the confident wonderful tonic and if the child case that was cold Perry can say yes sweetheart you were just getting a little hot under the collar I just thought I'll cool you down wonderful tonic effect one lady said that's child abuse I said no it is not I said I'll tell you what child abuse is allowing the child's attention when a child Tantrums all the little nerves tighten and become on edge the muscles tightened digestion stops the bound start to seize up Wow terrible way bucket of cold water huh fix isn't like that mm-hmm and next time the child goes to do it just reach for the bucket you know they can switch it on and off like this so start to challenge your brain now you know what a lot of people do when they're nearly there they stop with the memorizing now if you're climbing a mountain and you're new at the top that's when it's the hardest you just turn back turn around and go back down are you nearly there sometimes I'll memorize and I go over and over and over for five days wake up day six can't remember thing that's when most people saw the challenge challenge challenge it and it will come to you what's a terrible shrinking scenario if we don't use our brain cells we lose them mm-hmm so you've got no choice unless you want to lose them we choose the pathways we travel in our brain we choose the dendrites that we develop that's why choice is one of the most wonderful things that God gave to us if you have some habit pathways that you're not happy with guess what you can change them not easy not easy at all but nothing worth doing in this life is easy isn't it's hard work hard work what's a wonderful shrinking scenario when you forgive everyone who's ever hurt you in your life ever misunderstood abuser when you forgive you turn that painful past to dust now there's no bad smell to draw you down there anymore isn't that good news because you don't keep going down there the pathway grows weeds on it and it's just not a well-worn path way anymore we never forget but if this didn't be part of our everyday life you know sometimes on the news you'll see a it's been a car accident and the girls being killed and here we are a few months later and the young man that was driving the cord the cars in course and he gets one year and the parents of the girl that was killed I hoping he'll get why you know that one man will have to live with that for the rest of his life and the parents come on and they say we can have no closure now you can have closure immediately you can let go of it right now some say but but look what they've done I said life serves back in the coin you pay the person that did this to you needs your prayers I hate to think of what's coming back on them one lady said I've been watching a long time hasn't come back yet stop watching stop watching stop watching mm-hmm something else happens when you forgive let's say everyone here we all forgive anyone who's ever heard us misunderstood us abused us today and if you wonder who that is I can promise you something God will bring it to your mind and when he brings it to your mind you might go home not then that's the one that's the one just forgive just say father in heaven give me the courage and the strength to forgive I forgive then I know one they should even say the name just him heard that's all right it's your first day it's your first step when you do that tonight when you lay down to bed ideally by 9:00 so you get your hours of power some little cells are activated because of your decision to forgive and the cells are called glial cells the smaller cell in the human body is the sperm cell the second smaller cell is the glial cells so you've forgiven you lay down to sleep and the glial cells are activated and they come along and they vacuum clean up all the thorns because of your decision to forgive science now shows us that forgiveness has a physiological effect in the brain to clean up the thorns to clean up the debris glial cells are the vacuum cleaners now if you want to pursue that a little bit more dr. Carolyn Leafs she's an American I think she's a psychiatrist she's written a book who switched off my brain it's not a big book but it goes into detail on describing that but I've basically given you that the bottom line so it's a non-negotiable subject we just got into it and when you understand that you don't have to feel like it but it's a frontal lobe decision just do it just do it number seven the final law is the law of diversion and the law of diversion states that when something so firmly denied as to refuse any hope for it the brain has the ability to divert to other pursuits don't you love that law what's the old saying when God closes a door he opens a window my son James when he was 13 he said mum sometimes the windows bigger than the door have you found that a guy that did our program he was Italian he said now I know Barbara he said what we say is when God closes one door he opens two that the trials in your life not be rocks rocks to crash sure but stepping stones to greater things the choice is ours and I thank God for that choice thank you for your attention we're gonna have a break now I just realized I've gone a bit over time and it's quite a pass form so we'll come back at half-past four so you it's not that's quarter to four sorry what it is is the light from something was on ah thank you thank you so much well Mar suggest something that we have our break and then we come back at quarter past four can I do that we can't yes I've got a nod we can come back at quarter past four so we've got a half-hour break and when we come back we're going to have a look at how you can safeguard your brain against depression and what I'm going to do as I begin the lecture on this I'm going to list some of the main causes of depression because if you don't know what the cause is you can never have a cure but part of this lecture was hearing what you heard this morning hearing what you've heard now and so having heard both of those lectures we can springboard a little bit further into the area of depression so I look forward to seeing you in half an hour you

Channel: Wicklow Street

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Keywords: Barbara O'Neill, mind health, Wicklow Street, mental health, Invercargill

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Length: 43min 43sec (2623 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 22 2017