Avoiding Unnecessary Texting

all right I'm coach Cory Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of this newsletter is going to be avoiding unnecessary texting I've got an email here from a viewer and what's interesting is like when I see all these different emails I also looking at the phone consultations especially with new people coming in that I'm talking to and one of the common themes that I see at least recently I'm seeing a lot more of is guys that are not handling texting and phone calls properly in the relationship so today we're going to talk about is the sweet spot how often you should text and call and initiate contact with a girl and what I found and I talked about this a lot but 70 to 80 percent of calling texting and pursuing you should be initiated and done by women that means the guy should do no more than 30% of the initiating and so the right way to start out when you meet a girl is the caller once a week or the texture once a week and make a date with her and if you continue to do more things right than wrong when you're on your dates and her level of Attraction continues to grow as you keep doing things right then usually after the second or third week or second or third date which is the second or third week obviously she'll start texting you in between or a couple of days after your last date and you should just assume that the reason she's doing that is because she's ready to see you again I often like to use the analogy it's kind of like the little red button that pops up and the turkey at Thanksgiving to let you know that it's done it's kind of like that so when a woman is ready to see you when she's had enough of being away from you when she gets to the point where she misses you where she's thinking about you and she wants to resolve as tension within herself that's when she'll pick up the phone and call you to say I had a good time the other night or to text you she had a good time the other night or they'll text you about something that's lilian oculus and unrelated to anything oh hey I was watching a movie last night and this person in the movie reminded me of you and she text you something like that the average guy let's go what she's really doing is she's putting herself into your orbit to make it easy for you to make the next date and so you should assume that when she contacts you next and it maybe it hasn't been a full week or at the say you went out with her on a Wednesday and then like on Friday she's texting you her Friday night she texted you maybe you were out and so you're responding back on Saturday you'd be making your next date for Monday or Tuesday the following week or maybe even Sunday the next night or that night it really just depends on well you're available but when she reaches out to you you should assume that it's because she wants to see you again I say a lot is that you should assume that all women want you and so if a woman's texting you what's obviously you should assume she's texting because she wants to see you so make it happen make the date and get the hell off of the phone and so I've got a couple quotes that I'd like to share with you the first one is from Ralph Waldo Emerson and he says make yourself necessary to somebody so the process of dating is that emotionally you want your you want to make yourself necessary to the women or woman that you're dating in other words you become over time an important part of her life by doing things right and another one is this is by Buddha all that we are is a result of what we have thought that's pretty [ __ ] powerful some to think about so let's get into this email I've got here he says hey Cory I was hoping for some insight as to what I can do to keep my relationship alive I've been dating this girl for two months now and not a long time I know and I'm sure you've probably heard this a lot you know but she really is my dream girl and up until two weeks ago it was the best time of my life and hers too well at least it you think it was the best time of her life too that's what men and when we both tend to do is we tend to project our high feelings of attraction and zyre on to the other person he says I made her fall in love very fast and she was the one who wanted to commit first and she was the one who said I love you first the thing you got to understand about I love yous and how one feels about you is that you understand what a woman expresses herself and how much she cares about you or how much she hates you if she's pissed at you in the present moment it's exactly that she's discussing and it's a reflection of how she feels in the moment and so if you're a guy dating a girl you should never assume that just because she said she was crazy about you two weeks ago and she was in love with you that she still feels the same way today especially if she's no longer saying it because if she's women what they say and how they express themselves is a direct reflection how they feel in that particular moment and what the average guy typically does is they rationalize they say oh well she was in love with me two weeks ago or we just wanted this great trip and got back three or four days later or three or four days ago and they assume that that really matters to a woman it doesn't what matters is how she feels in the present moment about you what matters is how you're currently showing up so you know for your awesome and string and full of confidence and strength five minutes ago if you're [ __ ] up right now the only thing that matters to her is how you're showing up in the present moment he says sure I went and oh she says she was the one who said I love you first he said sure I went above and beyond to show her that I liked her and was like you did too much you pursued too much that's probably what you're meaning by that he says I did a crazy scavenger hunt for her birthday where she got everything from a dress in shoes to her nails done hair done and romantic trip to Vegas like holy [ __ ] dude for two months that's a lot of money and a lot of [ __ ] to do after you know at two months you maybe should be spending the weekend together for the first time doing some language doing all that stuff and taking around of talents a lot of that's a lot of work for you know and that's the kind of thing that you do only when you're an exclusive relationship not like she tells you I love you and then like the next week you were water with its extravagant trip he says this was where she told me she loves me oh so on the trip she says she's in love with you that's he you're doing way too much way too soon obviously it tells me you're probably new to my book or you may not have read it because you know you got to take measured steps you got to notice how the woman is showing up how much effort she's making how much she's reciprocating your interest because when I when you have high interest in somebody whether it's some of you want a date or a job that you want you can't help but almost like put that person or that job or that investor if you're looking for an investor in your company on a pedestal and in a way you start communicating scarcity to the universe like oh I don't feel unworthy I don't feel I deserve it by the way you act and eventually the other person is going to treat you according to how you perceive yourself in other words you attract how you act in life he says this is where she told me that she loves me and this was only two weeks ago anyways to make a long story short we got into a small fight we got back as she was having a rough time with life as a friend died and she was having trouble with her bills he says another thing a guys who understand women don't argue with them and I would suspect if I was a betting man you probably were getting bent out of shape because she didn't seem to be as present with you or as interested in seeing you as she wants did and so you started whining about it basically as opposed to handling it the proper way so he says I may have screwed it all up she's now pushing away she and he puts needs a minute in brackets in her words so this tells me you're definitely smothering this girl you're over pursuing her you've got to love the other person in such a way that they feel free so what's going on now is that you can tell if she's backing away you're probably doing what the average guy does in this situation which is now you think because you know masculine energy is about purpose Drive mission succeeding accomplishing things in life taking action and as a guy when woman backs away our typical response is I have to do something I have to make something happen she's saying I need space and the guy thinks oh I just got to do something I got to get myself around her to make her want me more like she did before and you got to remember that like I talk about my book women are like cats and they get bored they go off and roam the neighborhood and that's why I see it got to practice infinite patience with when when I go off around the neighborhood they get bored because they spent a lot of time with you just wait until they come back give them the space if you leave a message and I'll call you back right away that should say tell you that she's really not that interested in talking to me right now and so that should tell you that you know what I maybe push things too hard too fast too much too soon and I need to back off and chill because she's obviously gotten a little bit bored and the quickest way to get somebody else's attention is to remove yours sale the idea is to stop moving forward it's like in other words when the other person starts taking you for granted when their enthusiasm drops column less spend less time with the sweet spot texting wise and calling wise should be the guy should never do more than 30% of it when a guy does more than that it's too much you can see her a minute when we get to the end of his email what he's really doing wrong so he says I've tried not to talk to her as much and when I do I've been extremely nice at most times and I have told her that I am not happy with the way things are going and hope they change soon well you're the leader of the relationship and so therefore it's up to you to lead things to where you want them to go calling on the phone and complaining about it is not the way to do it creating a fun-filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen where you use the phone properly to set dates and not to try to have a relationship because you're obviously chit-chatting way too much on the phone and you're not just simply making your next date because it's a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear so when you make a date a couple of days into the future and then you get off the phone think about it she's gonna be thinking about you and wondering about you and then you got peace of mind because you got a date set up and now you can focus on your job your career landing that investor or that khloé that you want to land or that job where that account whatever it happens to be and then she's thinking about you which is causing her attraction and the sexual tension within her to grow so when you go see her you're ready to see her but she's also going to be more excited to see you than she was when she made the date because she's been wondering about you but if you're talking constantly in between that it gets in the way it's like constantly opening up the oven when there's a cake in there baking or is it doing you it it just lets the hot air out so he says as the day goes by she seems more distant I'm scared I'm going to lose her and if I haven't already is there anything I can do see he's in the illusion of action I got to do something I do something is there anything that I can do to get back to where we were back the [ __ ] off that's who she's telling you what was her her words were she says she needs a minute and then we should just need some space and time away from you to think about what's going on in her life in her world and to start missing you and with you chasing her and pursuing her over pursuing her that she's never going to get to that point because you're acting needy and insecure when you over pursue like that so he says I really like for this to work and I'm hoping you'll have the answer she's a very gorgeous woman who I'm sure gets a lot of attention I'm worried by giving her space that she will find someone new right away he says I maybe send a good-morning text in a goodnight text and maybe one other during the day now Jesus Christ how many texts were you [ __ ] sending her before dude it's like you're sending her three throughout the day that's like constantly is it done yet is it done yet opening up the oven and checking things out it's you're constantly deflating the sexual tension you got to let you got to give the woman's space away from you to wonder what the [ __ ] you're doing but you're checking in with her like she's your [ __ ] drill sergeant or something Hey or she's your your chaperone or with the hall monitors I think that's what they could they call it it's just a bad way to go man and so that is definitely what you're doing wrong the only time you should be texting her is to make a date and then get off the phone in this particular case my girl tells you that she needs space you say right baby just gonna call when you get your head together or you feel better or whatever happens to be and when she just wait might be a couple of days when she reaches out hey honey great to hear from you we got to get together and catch up when are you free great I'll pick you up at 8:00 or great I'll see you tomorrow at 8:00 be my place it ain't bring a bottle wine I'll take care of the food we'll make make dinner together that's all you got to do he says she calls me occasionally and she responds occasionally it's like yeah it is because you're all way over pursuing basically the ball is in her court you could say and I would like to know how I can reverse the roll will do nothing when you hear from her make the next date and then get off the phone but going forward once you go out and have your next day and you hang on you have fun you hook up everything's great don't talk about how things were the drama or this or that just have a good time with her because you're smothering this girl in pushing her away by your stalkerish type of behavior hang out have fun and hook up and forget about everything else because you're going Aereo to the point where she wants to be your girlfriend when you're constantly oh we're pursuing and sending three texts because you're acting like the woman in the relationship and you can stop that completely or you're going to chase her away and get the let's just be friends speech from around I know you don't want that so if you have a question you need my help with the quickest way to get my help is to go to my website right now click the products tab at the top of your screen and follow the instructions for booking a paid phone coaching session I'll talk to you

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 202,203

Rating: 4.9121051 out of 5

Keywords: Avoiding, Unnecessary, Texting

Id: bR-V0e30cyk

Length: 14min 57sec (897 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 18 2013