Texting After Your First Date: When To Text, Chase or Back Off

hi I'm coach Corey Wayne this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of today's newsletter is going to be texting after your first date when two texts win a chase and when to back off so I got an email here from a guy obviously I think he's pretty new to my book my work and I can tell after going through his email and reading through it and looking at the text exchanged between him and this particular girl he's writing in about that he's looking at things that he learned in my first book how to be a 3% man as more and then he's going through videos it's like this is what happens when you don't read the book 10 to 15 times you don't get to know the information too well you're trying to think of things strategically so it's everything the woman says everything she does they're over analyzing it and trying to think what's the next perfect response and so you kind of see as I go through his email that about halfway through it he gets a little butthurt and a little impatient and that comes through and that's why it's so hard to do this because you're trying to undo years of programming I mean wherever you are in life if you're new to the stuff that I teach in my book and obviously three percent man which you can read for free to understanding relationships calm my website all you got to do is subscribe to the email newsletter but when you're trying to apply this subject I mean if you're 20 years old you're 30 years old or you're 50 60 I'm have people of all different ages that come to my work you're literally trying to undo all of your thinking and being that you're emotionally anchored to up until that point in life and it's not easy that's why I say it's like you want to date as many women as you can you want to interact with as many women as you can because if you have abundance in your life in other words you have more than one choice and more than one option you're not going to be in such a rush and become impatient because what's going to happen and I wrote about this in my book and again what you saw I struggled like a [ __ ] with this because the reality is about every three to five years you're gonna meet a woman who are just [ __ ] absolutely knock your socks off and if you're not prepared if you haven't practiced enough if you just kind of read through the book a couple of times and watch some videos here and there when you meet this girl you're gonna lose your [ __ ] and most guys cannot handle they've never been able to get very far with the woman that knocks her socks off and that's what I went through I really try to detail my journey in three percent man so you can see where I went wrong when I was learning this stuff and you don't make the same mistakes but I thought this was a good email to go through because that's what you're seeing here is a guy doesn't know the book well enough obviously he's new and he can't expect them to so the idea is that these videos are to help you fine tune and tweak the fundamentals and the principles that are in the book again everything it's in the books not etched in stone it's it's not like you have to fall everything to the letter or else you're gonna fail and the more woman likes you in the beginning the more you can screw up before she just blows you off so with that said I got a quote that I wrote and then we're going to go through this guy's email the quote says on average really great women who you have instant emotional mental spiritual and physical connection only come along every three to five years these are the type of encounters that are effortless and feel like they were divinely orchestrated however the average guy who doesn't know any better usually screws these magical meetings up by getting caught up and constant calling and texting that starts out hot and heavy but slowly fades within the first week or two which often ends with being ghosted most guys simply can't handle a beautiful woman who knocks their socks off they literally talk these women out of liking them by trying too hard being impatient which you can see this guy is lit gets a little impatient and he gets a little upset and he starts saying things that aren't really appropriate to the flow of the conversation and rushing things just like in sales you sell your prospect in person not digitally over your mobile device women love masculine men who are mysterious and unpredictable they fall in love slowly over time your electronic devices for making dates not getting to knows someone so the biggest things that I see in these situations is the guys are texting too much to get in these texting exchanges and so this guy went out he's writing about there's three different women he's gone out with and they've all three of them have texted him right after the date and so he just kind of fumbles the football after that so let's see where he went wrong so we can take some corrective action and everybody can learn from it he says hi Cory thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience as your book is truly life-changing my question is what to do when a girl texts you right after the first date so I've seen this question a lot over the years so see you go out and you have a great date and she texts you right afterwards maybe a half hour an hour after you dropped her off I would typically respond had a great time to hope you have a great night and call me later or something along those lines because what you're trying to do is try to facilitate her feeling comfortable because if she reaches out after you just dropped her off a half hour or an hour before or you maybe guys met someplace that's a good sign that's a sign of high interest and you'll see that she was displaying lots of signs of high interest high attraction in him but he never got the second date and I could tell it's partly because of the way he handled the texting so he says my my recent dates went really well thanks to your book it's a great motivation when you see the progression well that's the key this is a progression you're trying to learn these things and the only way you learn it is by getting better because the average guy when he screws it up with a girl that he really feels like this girl's everything in my list of what I want and you're maybe three to five years and on average before you meet somebody else now it doesn't mean it won't happen next week or next month or within a year or two but I'm just when I look back over the course of my life is I'm 49 I'll be 49 and a half now I've seen that in-between being single and dating it's typically three to five years before I mean somebody that I just [ __ ] totally jive with and it feels effortless I got a buddy of mine who's my same age and he's never dated anybody like that before every time he meets a girl that knocks his socks off he just loses his [ __ ] and so I was like laying in bed this morning like 8:00 8:30 and boom I got a text from he's like free he met this girl I think was over the week yesterday or day before I can't remember over the weekend and this girl even they started texting and exchanging conversation had a lot in common he ran into her three different times in the grocery store and she was aggressive really like some it's it's he saw her and he was just like there's no way this girl's gonna go out with me there's just she's too [ __ ] hot for me and he ran in over three different times in the grocery store and afterwards he's thinking I think she was trying to track me down and on top of that she asked him when are they gonna get together so I mean that's really high attraction and he was just so dumbfounded by the whole thing that it happened he wasn't expecting it wasn't looking forward he was just going in the grocery store get a couple things and boom he meets this woman that just [ __ ] knocks his doors off and if she hadn't been that aggressive you probably would have never even asked her out but after the third time running in door and her making it easy he exchanged numbers and things were going well and so he started texting back and forth and so the average guy that's in this situation is thinking I get a text or more I'm gonna do more I got to get her to like me more and so what happens is even after the date set up the texting just continues and emojis are going back and forth pictures are going back and forth and then what happens is the days go by the texting she starts it's tapers off and then the average guy thinks there's something wrong what did I do oh I got I must upset her and then they start apologizing or they start texting more she becomes more distant and I keep mine the average attractive woman has had this experience probably hundreds of times in her life and we're going to test you in the beginning I want to see what you're made of if you they dig them and you know what you're doing and you got your [ __ ] together and you're not gonna get butthurt and you're not gonna get upset with them because they're trying to screen out the stalkers and the guys that don't know what they're doing and the weak guys especially if she's really [ __ ] beautiful she's gonna have a lot of choices and a lot of options and she wants to separate the men from the boys and so the good news is my buddy who I've known him for bollocks three years three and a half years now and this is the first time that I saw him one time I was hanging out when they were having dinner one night and there was this bartender that he knew he was he just he completely changes into something else he completely treats her differently and he becomes a different person when he gets around a woman he really likes I'm sure everybody watching this video has either had that had that experience themselves or they've had plenty of friends or family that they've seen beautiful in walks in the room and the guys just [ __ ] loser [ __ ] falling all over themselves and so here it is in three years I've known this dude that now he's met somebody he's just he's [ __ ] absolutely blown away and he just he's losing his mind over it it was kind of funny but you know so far so good I got their first date set up later in the week and thankfully he's he's listening so far we'll see we'll see what happens with it but it's like I I feel phrase like dude's 49 years old and this is like the first time hopefully he will experience his life getting to be with a woman like that because once you actually get to date and have a relationship with somebody that you feel that way about and it feels that way about you you get to a point in it where you realize it's not a big deal it's a total mind [ __ ] and we do it to ourselves we totally mind [ __ ] ourselves it's like even some of the texting my friend was just saying I'm gonna [ __ ] it up I know I'm gonna [ __ ] it up and so we were talking about that movie swingers with John Farrow and I can't think of his name right now I know somebody a fact check me in the comments but it's a great movie because you see that you see this dude if you haven't seen swingers that's I think the movies 20 years old now at this point it's like Vince something or other was that the other guy was in it and jon favreau his character is just he meets this girl really like and he just totally [ __ ] it up but he does a great job of portraying that that character and that's typically what happens to most guys when they meet him when they really [ __ ] like they just can't handle it and so what happens the average guy after that is they give up and they end up settling for a girl that's just average and they have a family with her and it just it just goes downhill after life it's like they're not passionate about their life they're not passionate about their relationship they have a family they're not really [ __ ] happy and they never reach their full potential it's like these are the things that it's like you slowly start killing yourself when you live this way and it's and it's life is a lot more fun when you have somebody in your life that knocks your socks off when you have great friends in your life you really [ __ ] respect and you really admire and you really look up to and who are on your team who a ride-or-die with you and celebrate your victories they're not the type of friends that want to see you do well just as long as you're not doing better than now it just makes our life experience that much richer and not much better so let's get back to this particular guys email all at that set up said so he says my question is what do you do when a girl texts you right after my first date my recent dates actually went really well thanks to your book it's a great motivation when you see the progression three of these girls texted me right after the dates basically thanking me for a great time when that happened I followed your advice in the video texting after your first date and this is a video that I did like back in 2012 and it really doesn't apply to this particular guy situation and so that's part of his first mistake doesn't know the book well enough and he's looking for the perfect answer and how to show up on YouTube and so he so what he did was he waited till the next morning it's like because he drops her off he's like hey call me later well she texted him like a half hour later and then he waits to text her the next day so he says even these girls showed high attraction unfortunately I never got a second date with them he's is my latest date for example very beautiful and feminine girl we instantly had a great connection she asked me many personal questions and I let her do 80 to 90% of the talking she was very talkative which I love so that's a really good sign she's really expressing a lot of interest and me personally I like very outgoing women that like to talk all of my favorite girlfriends even the ones in the past I still keep in touch with and see from time to time or like that and part of having great women in your life is they remind you of how awesome they can be so you don't get discouraged and [ __ ] settle on down later on down the line which again most of the people that you know 99% of people you know are settling and it pretty much just about every day of her life she touched me often she played with her hair we hold hands and we even made out four times during the date all good signs when I dropped her off we kissed again and I told her to call me later and she texted me about thirty minutes later and what's out I replied the next norm morning but a second date never happened I honestly feel a bit pranked by that last text exchange I have attached the whole conversation and notice we says next this one really hurt because she was everything that I had written down on my list shall I try to ask her out one last time and about a week and so again he's kind of misinterpreting what's going on here and you can kind of see it because he's got a bunch of emojis and pictures in here so trying to do my best to describe the pictures here so you can kind of get the gist of what's going on so here's her text to him she says I reached home thanks so much for the lovely time and dropping me back home so this is obviously the next morning when he responds he says hey sorry I missed your text I had my phone on silent last night and I passed out so I mean within 30 minutes of dropping her off it's like you figured the time to get home like was that me like Suzy walking Dory's kind of sounds a little ridiculous almost like you did it on purpose and that's the problem is like when you don't know the book well enough and you're searching for the right answer the right thing to say or text or do you act like a robot and women can pick up on that they're not [ __ ] stupid it's got a flow it's got to seem natural but it's so he's back to his text he says but it's great to hear from it I had a great time you're a really awesome girl I'm gonna see you again when are you free to get together so what I would have done in this particular case is so she said hey I had a lovely time thanks for dropping me back off I would have texted her back that night because again it's only 30 minutes later and more than likely you probably just walked in the door or maybe you're almost home at that point especially if you live in a busy city probably takes you half hour 45 minutes to get home anyways with [ __ ] terrible traffic I would have just said hey I had a really great time too I hope you have a great night talk to you later and I would have left at that now typically say this was like you had a date on a Monday night and she texted you afterwards I'd probably Wednesday Thursday I would I would text her cuz again you want to give it a couple days let it marinate remember it's a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear and I see often guys confuse thinking she texted you that night though and now it's time to set up another date so what he's doing he's kind of delaying it till the next day and then trying to set a date then which I wouldn't have done it that way like I said I waited a few days and then maybe Wednesday afternoon Wednesday night maybe Thursday I would a text her say hey I hope you're having a great day we wanted to see what your schedules like coming up over the next week on average most busy professionals entrepreneurs got maybe one two nights a week tops they can get together for a date and if you're dating other women you got a busy social life you're not going to have a lot of openings so sometimes you might be having a set dates up several days in advance so after that he says when you're free to get together and so oh she texts back a simple smiley face were like the little halo on it and so she's not answering reckon oh hey you know she's not saying here's my schedule and you can tell that's obviously frustrating he's thinking oh she's not setting the date right right there must be something wrong he says that emoji looks very suspicious I hope you won't kill me now he says inside joke I don't know what that is but and she says killing slowly and so she sends a Jif of a woman kind of looking like and then he sends a picture back of a dog with kind of a weird look on his face which is kind of funny it's kind of a cute little thing he says I will go home and write you a 25-page lo love poem as an excuse so it doesn't kind of really make make sense already talking about love poem it's again it's the phone is for setting dates this is cool if you've been dating for a few weeks but after you have one date it's a little too much back and forth and you'll notice that as I go through this he's texting her much more words in his text and she's only sent in a few words back and forth remember be direct decisive get to the [ __ ] point make the day you're a busy professional you're focused on your mission your purpose in life and she says he he sends a hump day so I assume that means this was probably on Wednesday he says yeah I forgot you have a dirty mind how about we meet this Saturday at and he gives her a time I want to check out that place you mentioned and she's got a Jif of a attractive woman woman kind of like ooh don't know if that's gonna work for me and then he sends a picture of a dog and the dogs like dogs like kind of irritated and pissed off so you basically tell that's what's going on he's kind of irritated she says I tried to scare you please cry and he sends an emoji back it's like a puppy passed out with his arm around a beer bottle on a cigarette which is kind of funny actually she says lol now keep in mind she's not answering his question direct and he's kind of and the other thing that I'm noticing is that you know there was like an hour in between the responses here it's like she's not texting back right away guys get kind of impatient like hey I'm texting it's like nothing comes back like what what's going on here that's another thing sometimes when we'll do that on purpose to see if you lose your [ __ ] or you get upset or you get impatient so he says hope you're having a great afternoon when you're not sure about your schedule then why don't we just do it some other time it's like now it's just like all right I guess she doesn't want to see me [ __ ] it we'll just do it some other time because I know that was in Corey's book it's kind of inappropriate and out of place and she says yo Vee we'll plan Vee will play out V we will plan Vee will plan I think they're from in Europe somewhere he says what does that mean Saturday question mark she says actually I have a bit of a priority shopping plan this week I can't confirm to you yet hope you understand he says all right let's just do it some other time so it kind of looks like he's a little pissed off don't you know there's some fun and playful things in there big tell he's kind of a little [ __ ] irritated but the idea is when she says hey I have a bit of a priority shopping plans - I can't confirm me yeah I was like I hope you understand I was like no problem just get back to me when you figure out your schedule and we'll plan it then love to see you simple as that but instead he's kind of communicate he's [ __ ] irritated with her because he's in his mind he's already given up he's already thank God she doesn't like it I just like my buddies going I'm gonna [ __ ] it up this is when you've never been out of weather and had a relationship with woman knocks your socks off and every time you've blown it when those events happen why wouldn't you think that you think you're gonna think after a while there's something wrong with yourself there's something wrong with me girls don't up there it is this is what always happens this is how it always works out there's no way she's gonna [ __ ] like me it's the way he perceives himself remember people will act consistently with how they view themselves to be and it doesn't matter whether the view is accurate or not so I can tell by looking reading through this email and those that texting exchange and just like my buddy it's like doesn't have a high opinion of himself and so therefore he's expecting to [ __ ] it up he's expecting to get rejected and the first he assumes the worst and said oh well maybe she just doesn't know what her schedule is and be patient think from the end of course she's gonna want to go out with me so let's get back to last few questions here and his email he said he says this one really hurt cuz she was everything I had written down on my list shall I try to ask her out one more time in a week Wow this particular email was from a few months ago that I had red-flagged thought I'd be a good one for a video at some point so you know I would have given it a week if he hadn't heard from her a week week and a half and then I would have tried one more time to set it up but like said there's just too much BS going back too many pictures too many just like not getting to the to the point here I would have definitely texted her that night and waited a few days so he kind of fun with the football with his texting was kind of messy but the big thing where it appears that you went wrong is that you communicated in your text and some of those pictures that you sent that you're [ __ ] irritated with her and that's all it takes because you're not the first guy that's gotten too irritated with her when she kind of I don't know I don't know I'm gonna have to chick he says I'm very confused was the best way to handle this situation do they think I play games by replying to them the next morning which I actually am lol I was like yeah there's no reason to wait til the next morning when she's texting you literally like 30 minutes after you dropped her off should I reply to them the same evening and then wait four to five days to ask him out for a second day to let them wonder a bit more yes but doesn't mean you have to wait exactly four to five days the idea is it's a guideline because I understand that the average dude that's learning this stuff his problem in the past is he's been too [ __ ] impatient and he gets irritated right away and he gets butthurt right away and he communicates that and the average girl has had probably at least a couple of stalkers a couple angry ex-boyfriends guys that got pissed off and I don't know where he met this girl he didn't really say but if if they don't know you that well and you're already getting butthurt and pissed off and you're trying to set the second date you scare enough to even though she had high attractions like that's it you're out you're done you got no more shot at that so it's super important that you take your time and slow the [ __ ] down and I know on average if I tell a guy to wait four or five days you might wait two to three days which is gonna be better if I told a guy to wait four or five days or a week you might wait three to five days or four to five days so that's the ideas we're trying to kind of get in the flow how would a person I would a professional act normally if you're busy you got other things going on most people that work Monday through Friday jobs they're only free time is probably gonna be in the weekends or maybe a night there during the week and so with that mine that's why it's you start out you go out on one date per week so the big takeaway from this is just the texting is messy and you're communicating you're texting that you're [ __ ] butthurt and it doesn't take much to scare a girl away and communicate that you you get mad easy and you get butthurt because again whether it's them or at the girlfriends they know women have had enough guys they're know to recognize the signs when a dude's getting angry and pissed off that's the guy that women are terrified of getting involved with and you can understand why poof nothing happens and it doesn't go anywhere but like I said the way this guy's perceiving himself and the ways talk and just like doing example with my buddy is that again you talk yourself out of out of her liking you and it was obvious I mean she displayed all the signs playing with the hair touch his arm doing all the talking texting him right after the day those are all good signs of high interest but again it doesn't take much to screw that up especially if she sees you get butter when she tests you and she messes around with him what keys you can see she's kind of jerking around a little bit she's not getting right to the point and trying to make a date and that's the important thing that's where being direct decisive and getting the point making deffend a definite time and a definite place to meet for your plans that is what I consider a definite date so again if you haven't read three percent man you'd go to my website understand relationships comm you can read it for free you can also read my second book for free mastering yourself also by subscribing to the email newsletter and if you'd like to get my help personally maybe you're in a similar situation and you don't want to screw it up quickest way is to go to my website click the products tab at the top your screen and book whatever coaching option works for you and until next time I will talk to you [Music] you

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 196,932

Rating: 4.8282547 out of 5

Keywords: dating, attraction, seduction, relationships, texting, first date

Id: _r4rcKm1oYE

Length: 28min 4sec (1684 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 19 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/fermented-beans]

This was a good one. reinforces that the book is meant to be a philosophy and set of principles rather than a play-by-play strict guide