9 Principles For Setting Definite Dates

[Music] hi I'm coach Corey Wayne this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of today's newsletter is going to be nine principles for studying definite dates well interestingly enough I got three emails literally one after another all on this same topic and I haven't done a video newsletter on definite dates and probably a couple years so I figured hey must be the universe's way of telling me I should do a video on definite date setting so I wrote down nine principles that are the most common important things to keep in mind when you're trying to set a date to make sure the girl keeps it and especially if she's kind of on the fence about you and not sure she really wants to go out with you how to handle those objections so she said says her stuff you know what I'm gonna give this guy the benefit out and see what happens so I got three emails I'm gonna go through with you I'm gonna go through a quote that I wrote in this topic first and then I'm gonna go through the principles and then we're gonna discuss each one of the emails so the quote says a person's personality is a reflection of who they are their attitude towards you is a reflection of how you are showing up in their life if you act like a person of value and see yourself as having value you'll never agree to terms that diminish your value in your eyes or theirs if anyone treats you or tries to treat you like you do not matter or are not very valuable to them then you must let them go and move on to find someone who appreciates you allowing others to disrespect you or take you for granted enables and invites their continued mistreatment this also lowers their level of respect for you is impossible for people to love you when they do not respect you true love is freedom love for yourself means you simply will not stick around or let other people stick around in your life who try to diminish your magnificence in any way give people the permanent gift of missing you when they demonstrate disrespectful and devaluing behavior towards so with that in mind let's go through these nine principles and then roll right into the emails the first principle says it's always best to ask when are you free to get together or what's your schedule like this coming week or what's your schedule availability like this week to meet up it's much easier to ask her when she is available and then pick one of those days and times that you are also available instead of asking her out for specific days and times before you know her availability the idea is you want to be successful you want to find out hey what's your schedule like when you open you close your mouth and you wait for her to speak instead of just saying how about we get together Saturday at 8:00 cuz then she say oh I got plans it's much easier and you'll be a lot more successful you just ask her to tell you when she's available and then see what your schedule how they match up and make a date based on that number to only make days with women who seem excited and enthusiastic about making a date with you way too many of us guys pay only attention to our attraction level towards a woman and yet we completely ignore the fact that they just there's no enthusiasm and their voice there's no level of excitement towards going out on a date with you think about it if you're extending an invitation to a woman to spend time with you that's the greatest gift that you can give any human being the gift of your time and if somebody has the attitude of their voice is just kind of monotone and and flat why why spend your time why spend your money going out with somebody like that why go out on a date and work to try to get somebody to fall for you over the course of several dates when you can go out with somebody who really likes you to start out with and then you'll have a great first date and a great second date and even better third date as opposed to having a warmer up over a couple because she wasn't that into you I've done both in my life and while nice to stroke your ego and get a girl to fall for you that really wasn't that India but to begin with my personal experience love at first sight going out with somebody who has an attraction level of an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10 the moment you meet is a thousand times better than trying to go out with somebody for several weeks before they really start liking you I personally that's my preference at this point in my life but you can do whatever you want number three the more resistance you encounter when trying to set a date the higher the likelihood she will be a no-show turn you down give you a non-answer or cancel your date number four never accept a maybe-date if you hear the word maybe when you ask a woman out withdraw the offer and say this it sounds like you are unsure of your schedule why don't we just do it another time that's what we call the take away in sales and when you say that you have to shut up you can't say anything else you must wait for her to respond even if there's like a 5 or 10 second response because ye who speaks first and that negotiation will lose the upper hand the idea is to negotiate on your behalf to get terms that are to your liking you don't get what you deserve in life you only will get what you negotiate so be a great negotiator too many of us are shitty negotiators for ourselves and we always put ourselves back at the back of the line and it's just not necessary so she'll either back up and accept your terms meaning you're in so if there's a woman it's just kind of not really crazy about this guy but then you would draw the offer like that and then you pause when she's like I don't know maybe we'll see and then yours you pause well when you withdraw the offer say no no I okay I can definitely get together Saturday I wrote about an example in my book about a woman that was doing that to me and it's just because I screwed up with her several years before but for those of you that haven't read the book go to my website or go to Amazon or audible.com and download it it's available now learn the fundamentals don't just sit here and try to cherry-pick a few thing from videos he won't be successful long term and I got enough videos over the years of guys that didn't listen to me and as a matter of fact there's a guy in here that didn't learn a book very well that he [ __ ] up with a girl he was dating it's one of the three emails I'm gonna go over I go over that [ __ ] over and over and over again this reason I say 10 to 15 times or just unenthusiastically if she's just she leaders if she accepts your terms and you're in or if she just unenthusiastically says okay a flat okay when you say well let's do it another time she's not that into seeing you and she could she could give two [ __ ] about going out with you which means you're out you could also say it sounds like you're unsure of your schedule why don't you just get in touch with me when you figure out your schedule and we can plan something then and if she just says okay and I say great now guys will say that I talked to guys all the time he'll say something like that and then a day or two goes by and goes she hasn't reached out and then they start calling in texting you've got to be congruent with your words you can't tell a woman to get in touch and then two or three days later when you can't take it anymore because she hasn't reached out go hey did you figure out your schedule yet it makes you look like a who swung makes you look like a big giant floppy [ __ ] it makes you look like a man China women don't like squishy weak guys never contact a woman again if you told her to get in touch with you if you're if you said well get in touch with me when you figure your schedule out you have to wait to hear from her and if she never gets in touch with you then you're never gonna speak again and that's it think about it you want to spend your time with somebody who's excited to be with you number five never accept a callback to verify the plans or call back to confirm the plans type of date meaning you set the date and then she's like well just call me the to tighten things down just say I don't know my schedule is very busy I only got one or two days that I can get together and see you so if you're not sure about your schedule then let's just do it some other time you say nothing you've got to wait for her to respond I know that's hard sometimes if you've never done that before but that can be the difference between getting a date getting blown off or blowing a chance where you could add somebody if you just responded properly because if you accept the date where she says call to verify when you do call to verify she'll either ignore you completely and ghost you or just say no sorry can't make it cuz it's kind of like yeah do I really wanna call this guy and then you which are all the offers like because she was all full of herself thinking I'm so awesome and I got a dozen guys like him lined up to go out with me why should I go out with him he's not even that cute but if you say something like that like you're standing up to her you're expressing dominance you're expressing that hey my time is valuable and if you're gonna give me a maybe response and I'll just make plans for somebody else you don't the throw with somebody else in her face let's just say hey well doesn't sound like you're real sure of your schedule so why don't we just do it some other time because that statement you're basically without saying it you're you're wanting to know how much do you really like me are you really into me are you worth my time it just completely flips the script it's a way you take your power back women who have low interest they'll tell you to call back to confirm or maybe the guy they really want to go out with they haven't heard from yet never take that never be a backup it's all negotiation these are subtle things it might not seem like a big deal but they make a massive difference number 6 if she says something may come up or she may have to do something else never accept a date like that definite plans or no deal withdraw the offer because sometimes you'll make plans you said go well I may have to do this form and just say well when do you know you're definitely free so we can make a date it I don't know not sure and say great figure out your schedule get back to me we'll plan something then and you got to wait to hear from her if you don't hear from her guess what she wasn't that into you don't waste your [ __ ] time number seven a definite date means you have a definite day for the date to happen a definite time it will happen and you have a definite place to meet her or pick her up if you are picking her up get her address when making the date or withdraw the offer definite date means you already have her address I've talked to many guys over the years to get most of the plans set up and they figure I'll just text her the day of the date and say hey what's your address and then they she never responds she gives you her address it means you're coming to pick her up at that time that's where we determine whether she's really wants to see you or not and you want to spend your time with women who really want to see who appreciate and value what you're offering I'm rate make sure she agrees and accepts the terms of a date don't just tell a woman when and where and expect her to show up that words don't meet a girl and talk to her for a minute or two and then make a date for a week in advance and just say be here at let's meet the Cheesecake Factory at 8:00 she's like okay and then you think oh I got a date seeing a show for that women are not dogs and will not follow your orders the idea is to extend an invitation for a date and then give her the time to respond by keeping your mouth shut and waiting for her to reply before you speak or message her again the idea is you're you're offering to get together and if she's interested she'll say yes some guys I've seen they're just kind of like they have the attitude like hey I run [ __ ] here hey just meet me here at such-and-such place some women will say yes to your face and think this guy is a jerk-off control freak and they'll accept your date and they know full well right in the spot they have no intention showing up they want to stand you up to teach you a lesson there's a right way to do this and there's a wrong way to do this the right way leads to success in bliss and the wrong way leads to you scratching your head going what the [ __ ] number nine always make sure if you are meeting her somewhere that you say this okay so I'll see you at one two three oaks treat obviously that's a fictitional address Wednesday at 7:00 p.m. this is really important to say things this way and also make sure she complies and agrees to it if something comes up I will call you and likewise you have my number in case something comes up on your end otherwise I will just see you there if you get there first get us a table if I get there first I will get us a table does that sound good are you in zip your mouth wait to hear from her if she says that sounds like fun sounds great I'm definitely in awesome get her address if you're meeting her someplace obviously I mean if you're picking her up but if not again you got to make sure she says yes to this and accepts the terms because when you put the offer out there and then you're quiet in sales this is where the objections come in in other words the buyer is thinking about signing on the dotted line so if she really is interested in going out with you she'll enthusiastically say yeah that sounds great awesome I look forward to seeing you there then but she's not really into it even though she said yeah she when you asked her does that sound good are you definitely in should go well I might have to do something with my sister or I might have to help a friend move or I might have to take my dog to the vet or I may have to go out of town so why don't you call to verify that's what you're looking for women are definitely in will make the date no hesitation no [ __ ] and they'll keep it ones that are on the fence trying to be nice because they don't want to reject you to your face that's why it's so important to use silence silence when you put it out there and see what she says so with that mind let's go through these emails here's the first one guy says hi coach I live in the Caribbean and I've been following your work since the beginning of the year I read I Bray and I have your book I'm in the third time of reading it well okay so this is May so it was about five months and you've come on dude yes step up your game homie you won't be proficient you want to know this stuff so well you could teach a class on it three times and five months you can do better man and besides if you're having problems this is what happens when you really don't know the book backwards and forwards I follow your principles and I got phone numbers from girls and I made dates they said yes and I asked them when they're available they gave me complete answers and I told them the time notice what he says I told them the time woman you're gonna show up but the Cheesecake Factory at eight o'clock or else I remember I was probably about 1718 years ago I made a date with this girl and I remember at the time she's like because because she was giving me this all I'm not sure why don't you call to verify and I just said well if you're not sure then let's you know I my schedules real busy and let's make definite plans and a response back was oh you're one of those and then so she proceeded to make the date with me and I was going well guess what she didn't show up enough [ __ ] girl did that [ __ ] on purpose just to teach me a lesson it's really important to listen for the fourth time now I have been stood up by girls I waited for half an hour no sign of them and no text or phone call for them any advice because I'm tired of being stood up so my quick response to that is you're either setting dates with women who have low to no interest and they don't care about blowing you I'll think about it if she if you were Brad Pitt do you think she just blow you off and not show up hell no she [ __ ] be there a bells and whistles and she'd be texting you the day of hey are we still on for today that's why it's so important if you just met a woman you're only talk to her for two or three minutes don't set a date for a week in advance if you're meeting somebody and you want to set a date it's either it could be later that night or the next day or two that you're setting a date but if you're calling her on the phone you talk for 15-20 minutes and your dates three or four days and in vain so you should be fine as long as you follow what I mentioned and the nine principles I went over earlier in the video and the part where he says I told them when and where to meet up sound because I've seen a lot of guys do they just tell a girl because they think hey I'm being I'm being dominant I'm being masculine I'm telling them things instead of asking and women just go along with it and they know they're gonna blow you off like I said women aren't dogs and are not gonna follow your orders the idea is you're extending an invitation this wonderful invitation to join you for an evening and you want to see an enthusiastic yeah absolutely this would be great well have a lot of fun and so this guy basically was doing he's paying attention to his interest he's naughty like I said he's either asking out women have low interest and he's only looking the fact that he really likes these girls and he's ignoring their lack of interest especially if you're just telling him where to go instead of asking them if they're definitely in like I went over in the nine principles and yeah you're the likelihood that you're gonna get stood up and blown off it's gonna be really high let's go through the second email guy says hi coach I'm wondering if you could help me here I'll do my best there's this girl that I was friends with when we were like 13 years old and now we're 18 and she's smokin hot he says so I found her on the social network I ended up asking her out on snapchat so she told me did I give you my number right to my whatsapp so I wrote her to set a date I didn't set the time place or day that's part of the problem men are supposed to be direct decisive get right to the [ __ ] point and when you're vague and caught kinda all over the ice you're basically acting like an insecure girl who's unsure of herself that's not attractive you're acting like a feminine woman instead of a man who's direct decisive it was busy who's got [ __ ] to do things to go places to go people to see that just makes you go ahh another floppy [ __ ] kind of guy another weak guy that's just because most guys act this way the idea is you want to set yourself apart from the other dudes he says I wanted to meet her in the next day she told me she couldn't go out til the weekend I told her okay then in the weekend it is that was a Wednesday so when Friday asked her hi is the date still oh well that sounds really confident in other words hey if you haven't found anything better to do I'm still available me it sounds really weak dude and she told me I think so if I don't go to my aunt's city which is in Valencia Venezuela so in other words she's basically saying yeah if I got nothing else to do maybe I'll go out with you because guys like this they'll keep calling every day she doesn't have to do nothing and he's like a last resort thing the type of dude I mean you're setting yourself up you're inviting her to treat you this way and I tell her okay do you want to go to a taco go to taco palace which is a restaurant tomorrow afternoon and she told me yeah yeah so the satury comes up and I saw that she went to clubs on Thursday and Friday night although she told me that she couldn't go out those days uh-huh it's not that she couldn't go out she just couldn't go out with you because she had better things to do with her time and you basically acted like you really weren't that worthy every time you in essence treated her like a celebrity and so therefore she treated you like you're just another piece of bubble gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe sucks and I ride her hello are you going to your aunt city and she didn't respond for like four hours because she's thinking about what can I tell him I don't really want to go out of this guy cuz your answer is you've already expressed that you weren't sure of yourself and when she answered she told me yes I'm going in about a half hour so I told her okay so we'll leave it to next week then and she told me yes I think it's the best then I tell her hey I'm gonna be in some place tomorrow that place is on the way to our ant city if you want you can pass over I'll be there she read the message and didn't respond you're just like begging her please time with me if you just cut right to chase say hey we should get together one what are you available what's your schedule like it's you guys don't know sake rate should be a message back when you figure out your schedule playing something in I got a run I'll talk to you later that's what a man who's used to getting dates would say because the thought of being stood up or blown off or that his offer is not really that big a deal and [ __ ] wanted me to be cross in his mind but you you're acting like a guy who can't get a date and women interact with guys like that all the time they just they just blow him off so I really want to go out with this girl I know you do and guess what she knows too I really really like her well it doesn't matter how much you like her has no effect on her attraction towards you and I don't want to screw it up man you pretty much already did that dude I at least want to go on one date so she can realize that I'm a good catch well you kind of fun with the football out right out of the gate dude it's like right in the Superbowl your first possession you get the kick comes you catch it and boom it just falls falls right out of your hand and one of the the other defenders grabs the ball and now like a great field position and you they forced a turnover not much you could do at that point except watch the other team score I don't know if she's attracted to me or she really wants to see me dude if she really wanted to see you she would have made plans and the way he behaved she may have thought you were cuter I'll go out with them but you're all of your answers here and the way you behaved you kept pursuing and basically begging her to spend time with you turned her off I don't want to bother her too much asking her out again so what would you do would you wait three or four days to set a date with a time in place at this point I would wait two whole weeks I wouldn't call her I wouldn't do nothing unless she messages you directly I would ignore even though you brought up next weekend don't do nothing wait to four weeks and if she doesn't reach out to you at all I would say hey what are you doing what he up to then one more make one more attempt hey I wanted to see what your schedules like I want to get together and have dinner I wanna get together and have drinks or whatever she gives you a vague answer it says gee I'm not sure I might have to work I may have to just say great doesn't sound like you know what your sched so get in touch with me when you figure it out while playing something in and then you're never gonna reach out again after that however if before the two Eastcote goes by sitting week goes by and she goes hey what's women typically will do this hey what's up what are you doing what are you up to take your time responding cuz she's already done that to you wait a few hours if it's at night like 8 or 9 o'clock after 8 o'clock at night text her back the next morning like around 11 or 12 she treats you like a low priority so therefore she needs to be a low priority in your life how do I ask her out again since the previously set date didn't occur well like I said if she reaches out soon she wants to see you and make a definite date definite day definite time definite place don't be asking her to make decisions don't be ask her to where you want to go what do you want to do invite her to join you at some place that you think is really cool and make definite plans or withdrawal your offer follow the nine principles and you should be fine but at this point I'd say you pretty much screwed up and there's a really good chance you won't hear from her again but like I said wait two weeks if you don't hear from her make one more attempt and she gives you the B s response and just say well when you figure out your schedule get in touch and you're done forever your pursuit you're never gonna pursue or getting in a wreck all nothing even if she reaches out and you start setting dates you will always wait for her to reach out after that point let's go through the third email says Cori I'd first like to thank you for sharing your findings about relationships I am surprised how I'm point everything is well might not always be right but I'm never wrong I'm a woman who benefits from your ebook and videos because my relationships are with women a lesbian all right I like lesbians in the past I dated this gorgeous German woman who was funny caring she would cook for me most mornings fit and desired by many and I couldn't believe how lucky I was because my relationship with her resulted from teachings of your book unfortunately once I got with her I made a huge mistake and stopped paying attention to your book that's not all I can do all I can do is suggest and gently lead if you toss it out the window just because you're hooking up you gotta read it 10 to 15 times even if you're a lesbian because even in lesbian relationships there's a masculine one and there's a feminine one there's always the one that's more masculine acts like the man and there's always one that acts more feminine I've talked to women that are bisexual and when they date men they're very submissive and they like the men to take control but when they're dating women they like to be the masculine one when they're dating women and they like to date very feminine submissive women it's very fascinating and interesting but even lesbian women when they if they're a masculine essence and they act more like a woman they'll get rejected for the same reasons that heterosexual guys get rejected when she eventually told me that she just wanted to be friends I remembered I remembered to pick your book back up I was in her bed literally the next day sounds like you were ready with the proper answer I've been creating attraction she's been texting me first asking what I'm doing wondering why I'm not with her even telling me things like I better not be getting messages by anyone else here's the reason why I put the word date in quotation marks we have never been on an actual date I am over her house often however she always tends to shy away from setting definite dates some were fun when I bring it up I have started telling her let me know when you're available to go have a good time she finally replied that she wants things to be spontaneous well if you're busy you can't just drop what you're doing and I wouldn't just drop what you're doing to go spend time with her make her [ __ ] wait if she said hey can we get together I said no I'm sorry I got plans but you know maybe this weekend what's your schedule like when you free to get together cuz all I'm gonna be spontaneous oh it's like well you know I'm always pretty booked up so get in touch with me and maybe I'll be able to squeeze you in or maybe I can find some time for you wait to hear from this particular woman I'd let her do a hundred percent of pursuing from now on every once in a while when I ask her out she says no I go with another woman and snapchat how much fun we're having and she gets noticeably jealous how do I set dates with her to go to places that I know she will enjoy that will create even more attraction well like I tell guys all the time your job has the masculine essence in this case is to create an opportunity for sex to hang out have fun and OCO it's that simple this particular woman because you've done so many so much screwing up your pursuits over forever you're never gonna call or text her again first for any reason if you hear from her so she wants to see you make a definite date and I wasn't in this particular case the next three dates need to be at your house she must come to you and the only distance you're gonna be willing to travel is a distance it takes to go from wherever you are in your house to your front door to let her in it's that [ __ ] simple she comes to your house or No Deal and if she comes over three times in a row and you hang out have fun and hook up successfully then you can start going out picking her up or meeting her out but follow what I teach and seven principles getting next back at this point and you should be hopefully fine and if you'd like to get my help personally go to my website click the products tab and book whatever coaching option works for you and I will talk to you soon [Music]

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 167,372

Rating: 4.905148 out of 5

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Id: 3A0vxl08MNU

Length: 29min 54sec (1794 seconds)

Published: Mon May 30 2016