Akaash Singh and the It’s Not Your Fault Hug | TigerBelly 337

um but the actual you say kalila yeah but khalilah is correct right i'm gonna i'm gonna do that and the extra age though just extra the extra guacamole here he is he's gonna do some you know what okay there might be some racial things to follow we'll go with it oh okay i thought it was okay that was that was volume no no this is this is [Laughter] but why are you dancing like bride and prejudice right now why eating full bread hey i oh my god you know he just discovered eminem from the halftime show from the half-time show before i've heard of that show i really like it i've never done that before what were you doing back then hey akash you don't say anything that's what i said you don't say anything that's exactly what it's akash right whatever it is it is akash yes aakash with a head tilt akash hang on the a okay [Laughter] don't say anything until i say your name okay okay thank you so much so um you don't have to abide by that rule you don't have the headphones so go ahead [Music] those what are the people that sell fast what's it called auctioneer auctioneer but in thailand right that's like um octagon in the philippines with a rooster fight oh that's what that is yeah oh my bad i got their impressions anyway guys um so i know this next guest um he betrayed me by the way it's pure betrayal because i'll tell you why because i go online and he does first of all he does a podcast with the kung fu kids what are they called fighters the kids spider the kid right yeah first of all can i just say about those two all right those two right there are devil worshipers because i tell you why when i told them i was molested by a guy with down syndrome when i was eight years old they laughed like a [ __ ] like children and they're [ __ ] they're [ __ ] devils man all right and that see this right here it's a witch's ward and that's not from them no chappelle he's a [ __ ] a black witch he's a black witch from [ __ ] louisiana dude he gave me a [ __ ] witch wart dude so you did their podcast before tiger bell that's [ __ ] crazy and then all you you also do tuesday tuesday trash with her before papa it's crazy yeah guess who's doing flagrant too tomorrow before you come on let's fly new york oh that burns my [ __ ] dick it burns my dick so much so anyway on the extension we don't you know honestly i didn't do any research about him because i know that he has a podcast with that guy that looks like a 1950s bell boy what's it whatever what floor mr robinson [ __ ] andrew [ __ ] schultz right um i know that we don't get a lot of mexicans on the show honestly because we need to represent dog you know latinx we had johnny sanchez george lopez on and now we have this guy yeah so [ __ ] amazing um i don't know anything about him and i think it's exciting so i'm going to ask him some questions yes right about life i'm going to talk because you're disrespecting me all right now i'm finally going i know but just let me finish my thank you i said your name right right um i've never seen them real before like like i only see them virtually yes you know um style let's see style i want to know about the style the style is nice it's clean that [ __ ] um shirt right there is brand new it feels like oh hey i wore this for you i know well i mean for you do you want to talk so let's ah gosh give him a round of applause thank you ah gosh come on clap again thank you sing hi thank you is that your last name yeah you're not mexican yeah oh i [ __ ] up my dad you're a [ __ ] idiot i'm a [ __ ] idiot what are you do you actually think because i haven't gotten that since texas [Laughter] this is a real story i know what you are dude this is a real story my my principal in middle school because i used to be fatter and lighter my principal in middle school every time he saw me used to say hola amigo like he really thought he was bonding oh everybody thought i was mexican mexicans would be like what's the vato and i'd be like nah yeah they'll say this so he got that light eyes yeah yeah yeah but i think i grew into my indian-ness you know it's like it's funny you grew up in texas then yeah so you must have had a little bit of a lot of little microaggressions when it comes to race i know macro or nothing i think really nothing i'm sure but i didn't notice them oh really it's saying macro what macro or nothing no no there's micro and macro again but he's only gotten the macro oh you've got like what is a macro aggression you've gotten race wise this was a funny one i can say it because it's actually funny and i can look back on september 11th before anybody knew what was happening i i remember watching and i had seen a documentary on al qaeda like a couple years ago in like geography or something and i was like oh [ __ ] it was probably that guy and i didn't say a word because i was like this is gonna be bad for me i was one of two brown kids in my school i think there was a pakistani kid in me and that was it yeah and then no white kids had figured it out yet none of these country [ __ ] uh figured it out yet but then as i'm walking down the halls two mexican football players put my hands behind my back and walk me down the hallways going we got him don't worry everybody as we go yeah oh fine so funny that's why it's very funny it's very funny there was other stuff that was like not like my life was threatened or anything but it hurt my feelings so i don't talk about as much but that's when you've pulled the mexican card at 9 11 i would have turned mexican that day like when i did when i was shooting pineapple express i had one line and that's when uh that's when that uh yeah you aren't shooting pineapple express if you have one line you can't say when i was shooting you tell them two hours i was at all set no no no no bro i was an expert so they had me like in long shots yeah right so you know come on don't [ __ ] haze me man nah dude i love you i love you too i used to see you at the comedy store you don't know me but i would always see you are you intimidated to talk to you no it's so funny what i remember performing and seeing you in the audience really yeah and go is that akash [ __ ] anyway let me finish my so when i was at pineapple express that's when that crazy that day you hung out on set that one career that crazy korean dude shot up virginia tech oh right so that's not like our 911 really but it's like yeah it felt like oh i'm chinese yeah i mean like i had to like change you know i mean for a couple of years you should have gone filipino chinese after 9 11 that's when i became kalila i was highly loving it so we all had to change and adjust right you had to adjust 100 so let me ask you i don't know anything about you i just need to ask you some questions i know a little bit about you personally i know andrew got you into rehab i'm glad that happened uh he's going to be at your wedding i think that's really sweet that your friendship is that close do that for him and uh you know it's so funny i'm just happy he's an [ __ ] like him strong team right there he's an [ __ ] like anderson they have the same right little thing and it makes me so angry but you know what i'm gonna i'm a different guy i'm gonna be mindful yeah right i'm gonna be vulnerable right and i'm going to open my heart so um number one um our wedding's postponed oh really yeah number two that [ __ ] nut did not have anything to do with me going to rehab right i told him i was going to rehab before he was shot and he i told him not to say anything and he brought it up hey however you've reframed the memory in your mind it's fine with me i'm just happy my friend could help his friend you know what i mean yeah what he's doing is a real mandela effect that's [ __ ] crazy wait wait you you're not allowed to be surprised and me getting messy you look like you're unbuckable you look out [ __ ] a little bit man why are you crazy look at you dude you look like an i.t [ __ ] guy from [ __ ] nowhere i'm the hottest guy in the room bro all right but i'm the id guy that [ __ ] but you're the guy you have money now because of the [ __ ] podcast right i'm doing iron you're doing all right right like look at the new [ __ ] clothes you have yeah exactly i think i think we got off on the wrong foots right yeah all right so to be fair you walked in here yelling at me yelling at me telling me i couldn't talk and calling me mexican yeah yeah yeah exactly right i i just assume just like me let's start over let's start over let's start over i want to know things that hard reset so do you know any kind of martial arts wait do you i i took one week of every martial arts because i wanted the wipeout for every mark so i have every white belt for with every martial arts but that's all i never get the striper why the white belt that's not intimidating anybody you can't say i'm a white belt i know but it's still like when you when you know a little bit of all the martial arts you have the full spectacle experience three name three martial arts right so kung fu i know kung right i know the brazilian one with the the jets no the one that you do the breakdancing yeah so thank you do you know any no no no have you ever been in a fight no actually yeah no i'm i'm good at knowing when to shut up like i get walk up to the line with the person i know when a person doesn't want to fight and then i'll talk crazy [ __ ] [Laughter] like if you want to fight less than me and i send right then i'm going to be like you got a [ __ ] heart i do that to brad williams all the time yeah yeah yeah because i just feel like i got it i wouldn't think you could williams dude you don't i would not [ __ ] with know a little bit yeah i wouldn't either bro you don't think i could [ __ ] up bradwell i don't think i don't think i can [ __ ] up brad williams to be like i'm not insulting you i know why head butts head butts little people they're headbutts because their heads are like melons yeah the gallagher over there yeah you're right it's like one of those gallagher right no it's like when you go to a fair and you have that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but you can't say that they have little heads that would be absurd they have regular sized heads they're on little bodies so then they're big they're big headed that's just what it is or they're small bodied or small bodies they're small bodies which i think is more insulting i think if i'm a little person i'd rather be called big head than a little body that's true that's true maybe we'll talk to brad about that one day title of a tlc show oh big head little body that's a good one and then make sure they have 600 pounds too my favorite dude imagine a big head little body 600 pounds there's one guy on our own my wife shows me them tick tocks all the time those sisters the fact oh yeah the the um what is it the two-ton man it's the the thousand-pound sister yeah that's the one what is it that one but we have a kink when we first started hooking up that would always be playing in the background this is my 600 pound life remember that yeah baby do you think i thought that was sexual what do you think if you think i'm not you're not sexual bro let me say something right now you have no idea the sexuality that exudes from my body when i sweat [ __ ] comes out i no i believe you are a sexual person okay thank you but if i'm unfuckable yeah yeah you are the same yeah i mean that's what i'm trying to say obviously i'm saying but you're looking at it from east coast eyes there we go you're narrating i'm on the west side you're a west coast nine yeah i'm a west coast no i'm not i think that i'm just on body alone i'm on west coast three right but with thy with my personality right you can do personality for ratings you can you can't no ratings you can't do it but what you're saying is i'm not unfuckable because i could [ __ ] you can talk your way into [ __ ] no i i could fame my way into [ __ ] you ew cause that's hey hey hey don't let me let them unfamous [ __ ] talk hey hey come on dog that's true that was that's right when i came out like when i came out i was so gross all right no no no no no no hey hey tell them already into the already attractive woman okay yeah that's you don't got to fame your way into nothing is a cherry on top of your life that's true that's true yeah yeah i like it you're quick hey quick mexican i think he was even slow when he was no there's something i really literally thought that he was gonna be slower you have the worst first impression of me i'm unfuckable i'm dumb i'm not funny super slow oh you're [ __ ] you're hilarious oh thank you you're kidding that one matters the most that you know at the end of the day you know if somebody said i i like your eyes you know i mean but didn't say it was funny yeah i mean it would hurt yeah i think funny should be for me the best compliment yes is that for you yes that's what i put my self-worth on yeah like if your wife said you know i like your ankles more than your funniness my wife if she doesn't laugh at me more than every other comic i'm gonna i might get like we might get divorced oh really that's gonna drop that's gonna eat away at me but that you cheated on me with laughter but she willingly makes love to you not always yeah yeah i mean you know i never meet two of i mean you have them akash no i want some yeah me too yeah right yeah we want to have some together not not you and i but let's work on let's text each other and go about trying to get our wife yeah yeah did you nut and then you go let's just do it is there a nut emoji yes yes the eggplant let's just do nut eggplant nut emojis plant the water drops yeah water drops and then you just do it back after the podcast may i have your number dude take it now i can't believe you didn't have it you made george talk to me the whole time dude this is the first interaction we ever had which i respect that you kept it's not true on the pod one time i was on stage years ago and i saw you oh what did was this what the heck what'd you think kid and you you said nothing you said [ __ ] nothing no um yeah but you know congratulations on the success of your oh thank you podcast one million views on youtube accounting on the special yeah on what's special i have a comedy special out called bring back a poo i know it is okay i know that you just said you knew nothing about no but you know usually i don't know how you work it on the east coast yeah on the west coast podcast you guys are actors no no that's true but on the west coast you know we we plug things at the end yeah but you said congratulations on your on your podcast bro i didn't come here for no [ __ ] podcast i think i know but what i'm saying though is can i congratulate on a lot of things okay right i didn't think that i had a one shot [ __ ] progression go to the list of things you want that's what i'm that's my man i apologize hey congratulations let's do a new section allow me to be mindful involvement oh thank you and apologize to you this new segment's called congratulations akash okay congratulations on the podcast hey thank you congratulations on being married thank you likewise congratulations on your success congratulations not the congratulations bobby okay you're right let me just shower you with congratulations i appreciate that right congratulations of having an angular a face that's very much like um who's like poe from poe from star wars what's his name paul from the thing that freddie mercury had aids i don't know but um congratulations congratulations on that congratulations on finding a woman that would make love to you and you know congratulations on you're special as well thank you my turn go ahead congratulations on um sobering up thank you um thank you okay that's a beautiful thing congratulations on your love congratulations on your career thank you how nice was that yeah and i didn't say you had aids i didn't take a shot nothing passive again see how that can happen you're right you know what i what i learned in therapy last week when i went to when you started finally when i went to the institution a couple weeks ago i found out that i bully and that i i make everything into a joke and i want to be able to um i want to be able to be just more um kind to people you know it's good start so i i opened up aggressive old bobby yeah you know what i mean yeah i just can't help it because look at him i'm sorry but you have it all wrong what collectively as girls akash is so attractive i told you i told you dreamy eyes when we did our podcast earlier and again no disrespect to your wife kind of right we were like his eyes though like we were bobby you have it wrong just because just because racist made fun of your eyes does not mean you need to take shots at my eyes right okay wow can i tell you something about compliments i used to hate giving compliments too i would always make fun of and then i was like yo what is that i would have compliments and then just not tell them to people yeah and i was like why would i keep that good inside that's such a shitty thing to do not being [ __ ] but it's like dude i love complimenting people yeah you're great thank you that's [ __ ] great and you should have a beautiful girl like this see you're [ __ ] you are [ __ ] yeah yeah i'll [ __ ] you yeah i mean maybe not right now i would i wouldn't cheat on my wife but i would cheat on my sexuality with you yeah you know that's thank you so much for saying that good one and may i say something to you my friend right if you and i were in guantanamo bay not that you're you know i mean you chose a specific you chose this position i'm sorry i'm so sorry your therapist would say this i don't know why i'm still learning more this is a learning moment because i don't want to say prison because it's hacky no oh no guantanamo bay way more fresh yeah all right then you and i are in a gulag in somewhere in ukraine okay there we go is that better that's what you were thinking about so that's what i was thinking about yeah you know i mean from the movies right yeah i was in first and third i think you won i'm gonna be honest thank you [Music] you guys um we have we are e-commerce people yeah we are and we love we sell things online we run a business and the only way we can do that is with ship station online shopping isn't slowing down anytime soon dog nope it's your business ready is your business ready to keep up the pace with ship station you'll never worry about shipping again make the switch at to a solution that handles all your shipping needs quickly affordably and painlessly you can manage every order amazon ebay etsy or even your own website from anywhere even your phone no more headaches from dealing with returns and return tracking ship station makes it so easy save money when you compare carrier options and choose the best shipping solution every time shipstation works with every carrier so you can always 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create a glory hole just to talk keep painting cause we would have talked we want to be able to talk eventually otto asked you to put other things in that hole what do you mean i'd have been like hey this is a glory hole let's get glorious i know but you can't you can't just say it because we don't know each other and i also don't know what sexuality you are we're so i'm just gonna it doesn't matter what sexuality i am that's what i'm telling you you're so sexual you're such a sexual powerhouse dude it's good that's so good so you if i did the hole and i just stuck my penis without saying my name that sound that's what you do collect three thousand yeah but you know what i okay so you stick your dick in right you know what i would do at first i would probably put some water on it why i just don't know where it's from see if maybe it grows a bit you know what i mean yeah yeah is it a plant who knows right with the water i'll probably do like a little couple of twax yeah yeah i mean just to get the dust off yeah right yeah and that would probably just go like i do a sample you don't go all in with a foreign penis not foreign you know i mean a stranger's penis yeah we're not in guantanamo bay we're in ukraine okay yes so you stick your right so it's like what i would do is i would just do a couple like just just the tip feelings and then the fourth one i'll just go i would do the whole right get in there like a chocolate banana you like reel your neck back with his yeah we're not talking about chapelle lazy we're talking about hot costumes we're talking about akash saying okay yeah so that's interesting so let's hope that we'll be we're in a good luck together one day you know what never say never dude could happen so how old are you 37 he looked young dude thank you buddy how old are you 50. how do you for real i'm 50. you're 50. 50 years old yeah i just turned 50 in september you look great dude that's great thank you man um but the insides are like pat marita back when he was 72 i mean it's just like not yeah it's not it's broken doing great your body's resilient dude you came in here dancing you know what's so funny it's you know i i quit smoking i could uh this friday will be four weeks of not smoking anything i've always smoked something i've always smoked either i quit cigarettes i'll vape or this and that i have a smoke and i feel more energetic i feel like i can smell things for the first time wow when i go hiking it's a completely different experience it's like i can smell the feathers i gotta start washing my [ __ ] i know and when you were sick okay so our dog right has been eating bully sticks in the blankets of our sheet right and she keeps saying right it's the [ __ ] bully stick i don't know babe washer [ __ ] okay i can taste the bully stick oh my god um do you have animals i do i have a dog what's his name happy a happy six pounds maltese poodle raw steel sex appeal wow how old he's four wow my wife got him we were dating and that was our dog i love him she did the same thing it's always the girl usually a lot of times it's the woman yeah and like because i didn't like animals before and now i love them um but uh do you ever think about their end yes yes i weep i i do there was a guy who kidnapped that scientist because he wanted him to clone his dog his dog that had just passed can you pull that up and guess what state he's from probably texas [ __ ] hero second one uh florida yep well it's either texas or florida streisand is done with three dogs cloned the same dog three times no but he didn't want to clone you know he he captured a scientist yeah to give the dog immortality that's fire right and he like you gotta make my dog live forever and the guy goes we just don't do that right we can't do that yeah i know this state-of-the-art cloning facility is in korea this guy man abducts scientists to make his dog immortal yeah this guy is a hero to me he's a hero because i get it yes he's in his desperation yes right he was just like skippy can't die yeah what's your dog's name i have seven animals no we have seven we have four dogs we have four dogs and three cats julio i couldn't care less about the cats just let that sit let that let that sit let that sit oh cause yesterday mark marin was here and if you said that he would have gone hog wild yeah he would have you would have been destroyed cats are the most beautiful do you think i'm worried about marc maron's opinion we're [Laughter] no i'm just saying he would you know the guy is like he's got white man strength no i'm not saying look if we fought i wouldn't be scared i'm not saying i'd win yeah but i'm not concerned of him being like oh this guy i'm not saying i'm not saying that mark doesn't like i'm just saying that i'm very sick but you know our cats right are equally is that the love the love that we have for our dogs is equal to work you know the love that your dog has for you is not equaled by your cat that's so insane because right now through that door probably is our cat gooner waiting to get in here he's the only animal out of all seven who always yearns for your life no you get a cat like that is a great cat but it's just such a crap shoot you're not always getting a cat like that right the other two probably very different right yeah like sometimes you'll date a filipino they can't box or do nursing yeah right you're like what the [ __ ] the the loving cat the cat that doesn't love you that much is the filipino nurse that's what you get that's the standard yeah yeah yeah yeah i get it yeah yeah i'm sorry box of [ __ ] out i'm so sorry you no that's them you guys got the manny pacquiao cat waiting at the door yeah yeah the rest of them but no but but you know nurses and fishermen but still our other cats right is still loving in their own way right akash that's what you say about a shitty boyfriend but have you ever owned a cat uh yeah oh you did so you're learning from experience yeah i hated it what was the cat's name george george no no frank frank you don't even know the [ __ ] name no i don't maybe it's you didn't put in the investment i probably didn't if we brought in julio right now you would hate dogs forever i no a cat that's loving is great okay i've seen cats that are like because julio our dog is a dick biter oh yeah [ __ ] up we already you don't think him listen him and i already our first day being admit this yeah we get each other i get you right all i have to hear is three or four words out of this guy's mouth i understand what kind of [ __ ] he is right he's the same kind of [ __ ] as me i don't think so what i think he's more involved is brilliant and i think he is more involved i think he's an intellect thank you i look i worked a lot on me bobby have you have you worked on you bobby you know i went to rehab and i tried to yeah let me say something to you okay okay already this [ __ ] girl playing the rehab card again already how many times you gonna bring that [ __ ] up i was dying i knew i was a dick when i said it that's my thought i'm proud of you for real i'm really i don't know you but i'm very proud death was at the door you know you can make fun of me buddy and i'm barely making it now bro so you know you can do whatever you need to do but already you know um can i tell you something for real i never need anything i want you to call me i know we just met yeah i swear to god if you ever need anything you call me i'll do whatever i can do to help you me and andrew both all jokes aside whatever you need bro i want to say this we're very loyal people dude let me say something about andy andrew schultz um i met him in montreal years ago right um as soon as we met i had no idea who he was as soon as i saw him perform in my head and went ding he's just brilliant yeah not only is he brilliant uh him and i are just too kindred yes we lot latched on to each other i feel the same about you yeah he and i are kindred you and i are can you in fact i believe that you know who else i like that other guy from new york i don't know if you're friends with them joe derosa nacho drosso joe he's cute santa gatto him he's great great [ __ ] kid yeah joe santagata right i believe and maybe chris de stefano but he's great too i believe that if i lived in new york right there's guys like him andrew joe you know chris i could probably find a group there no question that i could hang out with like there are kindred spirits legend two would add another chair done really yeah wow so my point is is that you know we got that out of the way yes can i start ripping them yeah be a rip away yeah that's why you can't do a podcast with your wife it's two men it's too much emotional intellect on the other side i know [ __ ] up the whole thing bro but if i didn't have her oh we would have been cancelled years ago and we would just be hating each other for an hour now yeah and then afterward we'd love it but everybody would be like dude these guys [ __ ] hate each other yeah and also so it would bring me such joy if you did rip him to shreds like do you want to hold back i mean i i know that andrew when he came on here he saw my penis would you like to see that at all i tell you this was a big fear that you would try to get naked in front of me and i don't want that those are the wrong words to say the worst word truly truly give it to me and then he wouldn't have grow as a person this is your soul this is your chance what i'm reading though is not consent what i know but what i'm reading though is this is what my mind says i'm not going to do it right i don't know is you tell me what your mind is reading let's let's talk this all right i want to talk what i heard was i want to talk about how weird this is yeah what i heard was because i feel like you know me yeah and i feel like you know that if you said yes let me see it that i wouldn't show you no i don't know so you went to the reverse no i don't know that you are you are giving this podcast a lot of credit that you think i listened to all right didn't know about you but you've did you see the clips of me no whipping my penis towards you did you see the clips no okay i like you so i've seen clips of you guys and i've seen when you're thoughtful you're very thoughtful when you brought on mencia oh that was you were in a [ __ ] rare form yeah that that was that was a difficult thing no no you were [ __ ] great you were great i remember you thinking you were a great balance of him yeah and you went in and you weren't you weren't mean but you also didn't let him slide on [ __ ] yeah because i care yeah when he came from a place of like yo i know you i care about you i love that guy you know he's so talented yeah you know i mean in his way yes you know um you know there are people that are just outside that are great performers and great writers he's more of a performer you know i like to say that he's more of a performer he's one of the best performers i've ever seen unfortunately iron writers there's people that do that that we know that famous that hire writers right everything they say to somebody else isn't good that's good for you but if you had a really good unknown band that was just really good and they played free bird and claimed it it was theirs that's the issue that's the issue you're a cover you're a cover comment yeah yeah but um let's go back to my penis though real quick huh um because we're still talking it out i i don't feel like when it was wrong this part i'm not gonna do it akash you know what you don't deserve it thank you yeah but did you address that at the institution yeah oh you did i did and did they just say you like how do nudists defend their lifestyle like you know it it what they said was it's involved with bullying you know what i mean so that's why i'm not doing it if akash said i'd love to see it i'd probably do it right but he doesn't want to see it right but i i'm going to promise you this this is a new relationship i [ __ ] promise you he will see it you will see it one day i promise you i won't ask you to see it i know you won't but you're going to do it with your eyes did you say if bobby calls you and andrew you do anything to help him no but this won't actually help him this only feeds into this uh disgusting thing i'll help him as a friend who loves him yeah you know in a relationship you don't just say yes to everything you gotta help i have a question you would gluck luck with your eyes closed in the gulag oh if i was gonna [ __ ] bobby eyes open i'm gonna oh so what's the difference if we're gonna [ __ ] in a gulag right i'm not asking you to suck my dick now right i just wanted to show you but no that's all the vlog hypothetical and if i'm i don't want to see your dick if i'm not sucking it you know what i mean all right but and that's enough that's all i need to hear the son of a [ __ ] all right let's move on from it right if i was a woman okay all right yeah and i look like just hear me out i'm single in this hypothetical in the single right right and i s because the first time i did the first sketch i ever did for mad tv back in 2000 right that's when i landed that [ __ ] yeah you have more than one line on that show yeah and um i did a sketch with deborah wilson when i was shooting pineapple express yo that's the most la [ __ ] i'm sorry you know what you're right you know we she says that she said that to me last night i do a lot of name dropping and a lot of things that's not your fault that's ella's fault i know i thank you so much for saying that but i also don't want to do that anymore because last night you know i talked to mark and we did a lot of like throwing names in the basket and who we know and this and it just felt gross and it's like that's not who i am but my point is is this if i was a woman right yeah and i said um because when i was on mad tv deborah wilson we did a sketch and she goes look at me and i turned her i swear to [ __ ] god she she was on her back and she didn't show me her vagina whoa what does debra i know she's crazy legend i went thank you i mean to me because it was a live audience yeah and this is backstage right before i'm about to shoot my first sketch and i thought it was like you know good luck kid you mean break a leg that's hurts why you're saying yeah break a leg the second you thought that i would have told you to go to therapy is deborah wilson attractive i don't know who she is debra wilson is so [ __ ] she's so that means legend that means unattractive no i say she is beautiful she's so funny show me the photo show me the photo of deborah wilson this is now though oh i remember her yeah she's super funny yeah yeah she did whitney yeah the impression yeah she's amazing yeah okay but my so if i was a woman right and i said may i show you my vagina would you say yes or no i'd say no i could i don't know you [ __ ] you're a good answer that's [ __ ] good yeah so are you religious i am i'm hindu this is great because now i'm going to be honest i don't know here's a weird thing about me i know i can be smart in a conversation and if you say something i can ask questions and be inquisitive if you tell me information i will forget it within a day yeah but so i'll read about hinduism all the time i'll read whatever and then i'll forget all of it so i don't know enough about my religion but i believe very strongly in god if that makes sense okay so i'm not asking specifics right i just want a general view of what the [ __ ] it is right so it was hinduism it was closely related to and don't please don't it's okay i don't care all right buddhism safe space buddhism came from hinduism the ideas are similar the idea of hinduism on a macro level as far as i know and i could be wrong you probably don't have any indians who cares but is uh the soul is not attached to any of this [ __ ] like the clothes i'm wearing the shoes i'm wearing that's all nonsense and the the purpose of life is to get in touch with your soul and reach nirvana right and then that is all this other stuff is called mayas like an illusion like the matrix yeah it's like so like detachment from a physical like from material material things and then getting in touch with the soul and when you're meditating to be in the silence right to get to the pure silence of your mind and your soul right and that's when you're reaching nirvana yeah it's called the ottoman was the soul and it's like the god within so you get in touch with that and that's elevation and that's when you break the reincarnation cycle and you go to hell wow so i see this line of thinking is sort of what i've kind of always lived my life i actually believed that yeah because i've always been into like i remember even as a young guy i went to the chopra center where i told you to i thought i was going to meet deepak chopra or i would you know intervenes around us yeah i'm really into randos i'm really into meditation i'm really into like you know not the crystals and and the hairy legs that the women do but um that's gross on you know how like sometimes they'll give you like a rock yeah a girl go i found this is for you a rock and then you're like thank you and then you just throw out the window in the car nothing when i hold it yeah i i know i feel nothing or when a girl gives you a crystal i have a crystal bumpy but i don't know who the [ __ ] what hippie gave it to me but if i gave you a little crystal and go just hold on to this what would you do with that i would definitely throw it away yeah yeah but right away or right away yeah i mean i would thank you and then as soon as i walk away i would throw in the trash but can i say or give it to another white woman as like a gift that's good re-gift it to another one gift crystals cause they're really special that's really good yeah what are they supposed to do though well different ones are supposed to yeah different purposes um i'm not a crystal [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah but i have been given crystals and this one they'll be like this one is for you know harmony like internal harmony this one is for so you feel more grounded can i ask you a question any of the women who have given you crystals have they ever been happy they get all these honesty they're very prickly people in real life masking as harmonious beings and i think that um they're not they're very unsettled yeah they're they're they're constantly searching instead of being but because that's perfect right there but one of your friends who i love right she made you the futsal that's what i'm saying that's why i'm gonna i'm bringing you your fungus she saved your [ __ ] fungus i'm bringing up the fungus babe yeah all right so this girl right because you know about my fungus no i don't yeah my left foot now i don't know yeah i think you thought you were in the power position not knowing about me yeah the feeling is mutual mutual thank you let me just that's my let me share some information with you i want you to get to know me better so i have foot fungus okay tada i love that all right so for you and my left foot is acting up again right so i need you to call her but my point is is that a couple years ago her friend that lives in the desert right said i made this concoction and it was like it looked like dirt no it didn't it was just epsom salt with a bunch of other things right but there's like leaves and stuff in it yeah right so my poi yeah so it looked like something that she just kind of gathered no she's legit though that's what i'm saying yeah i when i opened it i smelt it and there was something like very like very like edie edie burkell you know paul simon's wife who's a singer-songwriter okay very edie prakal that sounds circle you know the song song it's a beautiful song i gotta play it to you it's a beautiful song but um i just sound like trump just now beautiful that's a beautiful song all right shane gillis yeah um but i put it on my foot and it just you could feel it sizzle my feet went shh it was the fungus dying imagine fungus they have machine guns on my foot right and they're like we got the beach my foot right we got what the [ __ ] and this hippie hippie dust came down there like ah you know it's like i saw a star trek movie where the romulans put up a device and melted everyone yeah romulan senate right it was like that they were like ah and they they they [ __ ] died it was a good movie i love star trek you like star trek star trek or star wars you like star trek i like both but um um do you know do you like star trek i like the new movies with jj abrams i like those those are great yeah undeniable right you're not a next generation guy i tried i tried as a kid and i was like i don't know what the [ __ ] is going on oh people are all ugly i'm a young age i was like i can't look at these ugly [ __ ] and pretend this is attractive all right so you think jean-luc picard is ugly no not jean-luc picard but what was the and the guy with the [ __ ] wharf wharf yeah what the [ __ ] was that it's a [ __ ] klingon [ __ ] hard oh i'm the [ __ ] for not knowing what putting on is maybe i'm just not a dork bro that aggressive i got aggressive i'm sorry i'm so sorry i i thought did you why'd you there we go so that it is disgusting yeah all right can you name any of them data there we go [ __ ] what is uh [ __ ] reading rainbow's name i used to i thought he looked cool as [ __ ] jordy jordy i didn't know that never mind yeah uh captain not captain kirk no captain if you get this you're my best friend in the whole world wait the guy the main guy i want to help captain picard yeah that was really like [Laughter] hey hey hey bobby it's nice a five second entry it's nice can we do a five seconds it's not your fault it's not your fault it's not your fault i need both arms shut down for a second sit down for a second oh my god we were so close [Laughter] did you get the goodwill hunting reference was that good you don't know where it's not your fault it's from no it's a robin williams scene in good will hunting where matt damon finally cries for the first time and robin was it's not your fault it's not your fault he's been this hard guy for a long time and he finally finally melts into his arms did i do did i do good that was a real life that dawg it's not my fault i thought i did good i thought i did good i thought you were saying you did good and i go i look like a fool but i don't care look at this this is the best scene ever we got volume you put your headset on it's not your fault it's not your fault i know no no you don't it's not your fault i know it's not your fault what bobby was doing to you this is great your fault this is what i want that's what he was doing that's what i want dude i read you that's what i want that's what i needed watch what that's you bob right there lock in yeah lock in it's not your fault don't [ __ ] with nothing yeah wow akash wow can i hug you aggressively bobby yeah oh i did that okay there we go there we go i have to re-watch that movie that seed almost [ __ ] got me dude it gets me every time yeah yeah it's okay to get got bobby yeah i'm not kidding are you crying i am dude i'm a big crier dog not in movies as much but i'd be crying my ass off i cry a lot dude my wife told me she's ready to have a baby i told her this earlier i sort of got it teared up oh yeah yeah emotional she was like you're so gay and i was like yeah i've been nutting you gay as [ __ ] like i was watching glorious gemstones gemstones righteous righteousness glorious basketball and glorious gemstones right and i was watching it and there was a scene between uh tony cavallero and uh adam devine where tony's in the bathtub in the club and andrew if i hold them i cried during that scene wow yeah i cried by keith yeah with keith yeah yeah do you watch that show no i've heard it's good though they're pretty funny pony cavallaro is so funny tony cavallaro is going to do tiger belly soon oh my god that guy another name dropped a star now that's a plug that's different that's plug that's important he's a talented young man i've known him for 20 years and he's getting his dude that was a name drop i've known him for 20 years nobody cares he's coming on the podcast no can i say something i would argue that i want to argue that right now i was being aggressive to be funny and then everybody got quiet you're my it's not your fault it's not your fault it's not your father [Music] you guys look at my legs look at my legs that's [ __ ] peloton bro these are pellets are these pelton legs these are peloton legs you guys we have been using a peloton for five years i write it i like to do the free ride i don't like you know when people tell me what to do like raise your hands and keep going faster i do the opposite i do cody rigsby i do just about every instructor on there leanne haynesby i swear to you guys this has changed my life so much peloton is pushing you further with so much new on the peloton bike and peloton bike plus yeah new classes new music new ways to keep your workouts fun and motivating wow discover a fast furious and fun workout with peloton instructors in your corner even if you've never boxed before these classes will have you worked up a sweat while working on the fundamentals of form footwork and fun combos that will keep you on your toes and i will say this i know everyone always associates a peloton with just a bike but there are so many features to it when i travel it's the way that i'm still able to get my yoga in to get my 45 minute um full body workouts in with adrien with just sims i love jasims i you guys i could not recommend this more it is the complete workout package yesterday i did a total body with adrian williams it was 45 minutes and this is such a daily part this is such a part of my daily routine i recommend it to everybody get out there get you a peloton be like me and bobby yeah guys if you want legs by peloton like kalila visit onepeleton.com to learn more that's o-n-e-p-e-l-o-t-o-n.com [Music] i i think the reason why i say 20 years just just hear me out right i sound gross bro i'm with you on that by the way that was a name drop thank you i don't think it was because i'll tell you why right it's like if i said i just met a guy you know i mean at a coffee shop he's going to do the podcast that's one thing but when you say they have history with somebody right and you're proud of somebody's work no that's fine how was that you know that's fair bragging i knew i've known him for so long you know what i mean i'm gonna throw another name stone street same thing you know what i mean oh god he has an emmy he has an enemy so oh oh modern family yeah i love that guy oh great guy he's a great guy so good i've done our podcast three times our third podcast i might actually watch this podcast one day yeah yeah you son of a [ __ ] all right another name we're gonna have to cut maybe all that out that's gross all right it's good all right no i love stone street but i'm telling them i said i'm a fan tell them we facetime them right now let's facetime them right now yeah yeah so let me facebook eric all right let's see what happens all right all right word up like frame if he doesn't pick up you guys really do that facetime my wife and see if she wants to talk to her yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah wait to see if he picks up first okay but first of all if you if i get stone straight on here and you pretend you don't know who he is it's going to be good that's what schultz would do though no no no no no i'm just i'm gonna i'm more therapist than schultz all right hold on let me see but i'm gonna say you're a big fan yeah did i say that yeah i'm gonna see if my wife wants to say hi as well all right all right pick up she better pick up yo this bit this [ __ ] you're gonna regret not this better pick up dude same yeah hey hello my love hey so you're on bobby lee's podcast no you're beautiful as always bobby oh bobby is uh going to facetime eric strength eric eric cam from modern family do you want to say hi today be quiet be quiet be quiet eric just real quick i know you're busy but i have a guest on who's a big fan and his wife is a big fan can you say hello yeah who is it it's my friend akash and his wife [Laughter] he's one of the he's one of the funniest young guys coming up he's from new york okay well he's famous i'll say hi hey eric great to meet you buddy this is my wife justine i don't get a lot of free time and we watch y'all show every night basically just as like a way of connecting thank you what's your wife's name jessaleen hi just lean he said it's so nice to meet you [Laughter] yo can you hear him baby no what did he say he said it's nice go ahead put your camera down a little lower put your camera lower baby your camera oh wait wait what am i doing yeah you do it so can you okay but you gotta put that [ __ ] on the mic though anyway this is not working out this is not working out thank you so much eric i'll see you soon love yeah because you didn't [ __ ] you were out of town oh eric yeah my wife wants you to know that you uh helped us a lot during the pandemic just distract us from everything did i say that okay i appreciate that we love you baby comedy in kansas city no but next time you have i have done it yeah i'm not asking you i'm asking you your guy yes yeah i was just in kansas city what's up you're about to perform there no i i live here sometimes so if you're coming back i gotta know so i can come in absolutely i got tickets for you and whoever you want as many as you want bobby you'll pay for mine okay perfect thank you sir i love you eric thank you so much i love you so much bye [ __ ] off that was fun that was a beautiful moment what a beautiful moment right right that was so sweet i'm so happy for it to sleep oh thank you yeah she's happy sure no because you know you know um you know that show's great so good right and um for a network show too dude i watch that show and i'll watch it with her and i'll be like man i that's like one of the few shows and i'm like i would love to be on the show like that because there's always a point where it kind of tugs at you oh and it's funny up until then yeah not beating you over the head with whatever and they just get you at the end great show i want to say this there's something about you all right um that because i have some stuff on the [ __ ] pla you know stuff i'm working on and stuff like that man big timing right now i'm not big time there's something about you hey there's something about you buddy i like it likewise so if you you know let's let's go collaborate whenever you want stuff like anything you need buddy yeah you made a friend in this last hour i got you i swear to god but but why about our energy do you like because i sense goodness in you so much oh you're gonna make me cry so much goodness oh you're gonna make me cry and you're genuinely funny which is you know there's not a ton of us out here oh you're gonna make me cry hey buddy you're great and i heard nothing but good things everybody i got my dick okay listen that might happen later yeah no no you know what i'm going to wait a year right i think you and i are going to exchange numbers yeah that's going to do some text text texts you know what i mean yeah and then i'm going to go to you know i go to new york a lot and whenever i'm in new york i never call you guys yeah because i just feel like i don't want to bother people this and that that's that's your own insight that's my own insecurities we would love to hear from you but from now on when i'm in new york right i'm holding you to this no i'm i'm being real okay when i'm in new york i'm going to give you guys a call please because also i don't know honestly like i was going to fly out because she's flying out tonight and i don't know and i don't even know where to start bro i don't know where to perform oh we'll figure that out i know but i'm just saying i don't know how when i go to new york i don't know where to go your comedy club is done emilia and i are homies it's a great club yeah yet but we'll get that done too no but the seller i already was passed there like 20 years ago i think she forgot right i'd showcase for sd but you know i would love to go back to new york hang out with you guys maybe do the pod of course all right i think that's when i'll reveal you know i mean uh ting ting but um yeah yeah it's for content that makes me money though i don't want to see your dick and make you money yeah yeah yeah help you sell liquid death [ __ ] that we got units to move too yeah so um you've been so you do stand up right yeah but do you act at all or no i was doing that the goal was always to act to help stand up sell tickets and i don't i actually don't mind i think i'm a pretty good actor for a stand-up and i would love to be on a good show yeah but i don't want to just do it all these auditions back we would do with just awful tv oh my god i don't i have an interest in that yeah i'm at a point too my friend is is that i get a lot of crap you know what i mean and i just can't get myself do it because what andrew and you guys have done too is i just want to say is your guys's thought processes about your views on the the new way of doing this yeah has taught me you know i mean yeah that i'm really okay where i'm at yeah it's the best it is the best and andrew led the way i'm not gonna act like he was the guy that had the vision and i saw it after him for sure yeah he saw it i mean we had tiger belly i think before i met andrew but still in terms of like in terms of how i view tiger belly i view tiger belly as i'll be honest when we first started it as something like this is i have to do this you know i mean i have to do this but it's like now it's like this is all i want to do this is my you know stand up and this is my how i do it and then everything else you know if it happens great but you guys taught me that no i'm glad and that's the model at the end of the day we all just want to make content that we love and if this is the purest expression of you then you are this is the content you love so that's what we should push yeah this is the best position to be in you're not on a show you hate you're not dealing with dumbass call times and sitting in a trailer yeah an hour's doing nothing you come here i believe this is your house i don't know but yeah it's my house okay yeah well i just you know i don't want to be presumptuous this is a beautiful home you didn't show it to me at all but it seems like no one's never no one's seen it okay fair enough but you got a great life you live in your office you do work here you go upstairs i mean it's all good but i also want to let's try to do this as a new thing right and i'm being real and this is what i love about podcasting i can just say real things i honestly want to like try to figure out how to help other people you know um um i don't do enough of it right same i i think that i want to do it because i believe that the only way to be happy in life is to get out of yourself yeah and it's to reach your hand out and go hi do you need anything from me you know and i haven't been doing that for years really yeah same and or if i do something nice for somebody i brag about it it's gross yeah it's the dude a bible verse that my friend my christian friend luther changed my life he said something like i think it's matthew six he says something like uh when your left hand does a good deed don't even let the right hand know or something like that yeah and the people who do good deeds and announce it to everybody that's their reward they told everybody you don't get any reward from other than that yeah i did something gross when i went to that place and i in idaho i just said idaho right uh i go i was coming out of a session a therapy session i go i'm going to go to 7-eleven and there was an old black man who was a homeless man and he had a um you know a shopping cart full of all the stuff and on top of it was this white book right so i saw him walking to 7-eleven and i grabbed some money and i put in the book and i got back in the car and i was driving as i was backing out i re-parked it i went into the 7-eleven and i go hey dude i love you 100 bucks and then now you're announcing it now i'm announcing it now that i did it right so that's not what i'm talking about but he said it was gross to be fair yeah i already said it was gross i already know what i did right right yeah and i also told everyone at the rehab that i did that but my point though is that that's not the way wait that's what i do too if there's like a tip jar yeah yeah wait till they make eye contact there's a whole seinfeld episode about that like if i give the tip and you didn't see [ __ ] come on yeah it right the [ __ ] well that's the same thing what we're talking about right here that's different he's he's in me he's he's homeless you wanted to do something good i think if that person knows i don't think we this maybe i'm cutting it too thin or whatever but that's not bad it's when you tell other people what you did for that guy that's when it's like saying it on a podcast why did you tell him just in case he would be unaware and it would fall off he had so much [ __ ] in his [ __ ] thing right and also it was windy right and his i put it on so the book was on top of all this [ __ ] yeah it was kind of doing this right and i put it deep in there right but i just want to tell them that it's in the book so that it doesn't blow up your heart's in the good place that's fine thank you that's fine that's i don't know if that's the reason why but i'm trying to figure did you want people at 7-eleven to hear i don't know well he said it pretty loud i said it quietly yeah i didn't do that i made it i kind of did that i left a little something in your body no i did that i then hit the little clap everyone you know what i mean hey i left you a hundred dollars i think i did that hey druggie yeah one of those but i think that we should start doing stuff like that right but not tell anybody about it dude i would love to tutor i love like teaching and helping kids and stuff like that but every time i've tried they've been like hey pervert get out of here just kind of [ __ ] these kids dude right i don't care about [ __ ] kids i just want to teach some [ __ ] algebra yeah what a like what a terrible place that we're in yeah as a society for sure yeah but it's like even like i've never held a baby before because i don't want to accidentally do anything that's weird you know what i mean yeah yeah that's right you're not gonna [ __ ] drop a baby you know yeah i think you should trust yourself more uh go ahead man it's not your fault it's not your fault you're a good guy well what do you think you gotta push no no this is what you did what he yeah man i get it yeah keep going it's not your fault okay man it's not your fault what no it's not your fault stop [ __ ] around man is that same thing yeah it's pretty good pretty good i'm just saying i saw this yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it was spot on [ __ ] you guys [ __ ] me yeah yeah i try to act here yeah you guys laugh at me [ __ ] you guys all right that's the thing is you were crying yeah i mean so when you met your wife right yeah did you were you a smash machine before that or i didn't i was not gonna have sex until i was married that was a decision i made i was waiting for you to find this out let me ask you something yeah go ahead so you were born in on planet earth and then i was an ugly kid in high school so i made it easier oh you're fat you said i was fat short yeah awkward college girl started looking at me but i was in like a college with a lot of religious friends and [ __ ] like that so it wasn't like weird it was like ah i'm not normal for doing this necessarily like a lot of my friends were [ __ ] but there was a pocket of us that were like and some of them were like good-looking football players so it wasn't like so i had an example like that guy luther i brought up he was a [ __ ] football player big black dude but he was like nah i'm not having sex i get married so i was like all right listen i'm not a [ __ ] freak out here yeah so did you masturbate a lot or not not a lot not like a crazy amount yeah yeah like a monkey or whatever but yeah but i would go i think i went like two years without once like i would go long periods without nutting at all yeah wow i mean nocturnal emissions you know what i mean your boy is out there that means sleep don't get it twisted yeah yeah yeah so yo so when so when you met what how old were you when you met your wife 31 when i hit 30 i was like i'm not waiting until i'm married anymore but the girl needs to mean something to me she's beautiful she's [ __ ] beautiful beautiful i love beautiful show i followed her after a show right right so then you were doing stand up and then you met her and then you got married and then you smashed no we we did not wait after like i met her and very quickly were like nah this is something special she hadn't had uh any sexual partners before that either but we both and she was younger she was 22. yeah yeah but we both felt like this was right right that's that's complete right yeah that must have been that first experience must have been wonderful for both absolutely i dude i find it it was fun it didn't fit it was like a whole [ __ ] thing but even if the even if you guys were both like sexually so experienced first time sex is always a nightmare really at least for me it never is like i never come the first time it's always sort of awkward you're bumping teeth it's never great yeah she punched me in the face i did on purpose no on the first i swear to god yeah she was it was more like a but shape-up it's still it's like i've never been a thing where someone smacked me it wasn't a punch it was just like um you know you i know but then you said don't stick it in all the way just do tips i had look i had some rules and i needed him to follow and it was more like uh yeah then that's so that's all that happened it was more like hey like yeah snap out of it but the first time i saw her naked though oh god put her in the spot i i honestly it was like oliver twist getting a fresh bowl he had an english or a porridge he had an english accent i i i literally looked at the god and i went [Laughter] i mean i trembled yeah i trembled i go thank you that's so sweet honestly thank you for saying that no you were like you're one of the prettiest girls i've ever seen thank you no take the [ __ ] compliment i i'm literally thank you praying to god you know i mean thank you and you're still with me why good woman good woman hard to find you know you found one i love you because you're equally as worthy and amazing and wonderful and generous and loving and you're a great human being you're all soft on the inside hmm interesting he didn't believe you he didn't yeah i don't know i 100 you're a good guy stop trying to be a bad guy just be the good guy that you are that's why you're showing your dick to everybody man you're trying to be this bad guy that you're not no that's not true that's not true why i do it is because i have such insecurity about my body and my penis that i i've decided to like expo it's it's like it's shame exposure because i feel so much shame about myself that's why stand-up was so easy for me yeah because when i bombed it was like ah that's what i deserve do not deserve but this is what i mean i can handle this right and then when i killed right which was a lot [Laughter] right it felt so otherworldly to me because i had such a poor self-image of myself but it's all about shame it's all about like but it what my therapist have said is it doesn't work you have to hold things to yourself and process things and that's not what i do i expose i said i was molested and all these crazy things right and it's like also self-deprecation is so like 10 years ago and i think that um you have a very average sized penis so you should stop telling the whole world it's because you're not doing anything that wasn't a compliment just say very very happy thank you hey you have an incredibly average sized penis yeah yeah it's the averages don't need to be there okay yeah yeah it's just have a penis yeah no i mean average is fine but you when you put very or you know i mean you have extremely extremely average you know you don't have a small penis at all that's a different thing yeah yeah that's a different that's like oh that's still not big also it's not big yeah it's not big that's that right there it hurts too you have a penis that does the job that's not cool because it's like it's like having a plumber like do i have the best plumber and they're like no he does the job though no i want the best guy yeah but she can't lie yeah you won't even believe that i won't believe it so thank you i'll take that in i'll never you're hitting the back of me i will never say that right but it just feels like a chinese you know just like there's so many chinese people that seem like they're average you know they have the same size all sides what do you call it the rainbow coalition rainbow coalition yeah yeah is there an ethnicity that hasn't been inside your vagina we talked about this earlier no indians no indians i've tried really they wouldn't pull the trigger for me black woman oh really every time i try they they know they laugh hey girl they laugh you know what's weird is black women have always thought i was cute the most out of other races even more than indian girls black girls like he's cute which i don't get yeah but you know can i say something indian dudes people in general are very chic fashionable no they're just you know when you see an indian dude skateboard they just look cooler than any other skateboarder when you see an indian woman wear a beautiful dress they're just more beautiful like that girl from bake off she's very attractive what's her name i've heard she's crystal in the show crystal is this season the other one was ruby yeah ruby they're all attractive they can bake you know what i mean it's it's incredible i'm just saying you guys are just like that's their time you know i've been that's the thing we do with baking you know but dude have you seen bake off no one of the champions was that little guy that in india rahul rahul the one of the best bakers that's ever been on that show oh i see you're saying about this that's really yeah that's ruby it's gorgeous beautiful right give me crystal the new one crystal but well more importantly they're [ __ ] talented they're talented she took second place i'm gonna be honest i'd rather be hot than a talented baker that's less important to me okay you know what i mean all right hey you could be hot or a talented baker what would you prefer honestly hot yes thank you really yeah of course can i can i say why because i can then be hot and then learn to be a talented baker not the other way nothing wrong with the pillsbury break and bake cookies that's fine that gets the job done a hot [ __ ] serving those is way hotter but then ugly girls listen to my point of view though all right so if you had to choose between hot but never be be a good baker or vice versa what would you say you would choose if i never could be a good baker i would choose good baker and the reason why is because you're only hot for a certain finite a finite chunk but you can bake 50 plus from 1590 and and everyone's gonna be happy right right around you yeah you can't be a hot grandma yeah that seems sexy helen mirren does that seem sexist like i know yeah who gives a [ __ ] dude [Laughter] who gives a [ __ ] i know here's what i love about you and andrew yeah is i get caught up in being saying the wrong thing yeah bro and you guys do you guys don't get caught up on that does it everyone says and i've definitely we've added edited stuff and i've said jokes trying to be funny that i'm like oh that was brutal because you're trying to be funny in a podcast you regret the [ __ ] but like you can't live like that is this that ah do you say the thing and then hopefully you'll edit later back then we'd never edited so there's definitely [ __ ] out there that i'm like oh that was a bad joke yeah yeah but say the thing is this sexy uh yeah sure yeah okay so what so what yeah you're right it's an interesting thing because it's like i could just be bacon bobby i know i know [ __ ] but this is so full i know i don't know how to say it [ __ ] witch hey [ __ ] witch anyway we do unhelpful advice at the end so we have emails people email us problems akash by the way i just want to say this beforehand yeah that's plugger special oh okay thank you the special is called bring back appoo uh you see it on youtube it's had like 1.3 1.4 million views oh you hit a million in a week which is so [ __ ] amazing thank you guys so much whoever watched it but if you haven't seen it please go check it out i'm going to like it hey i hope so dog text me after hold on the lie got caught in your throat no i wanted to say something else that was god that was that was god right there no it was this this this pic i want to say um that the honest truth i'm excited because i feel like we have another guy that can do our podcast again that's reliable i mean and that's a guaranteed right and that's what you are you know you you're one of those guys that like chris like andrew that we can bring you on and it's going to be very exciting for us so thank you so much thank you we can i can tell that you are super talented thank you so much you mean you you're very chic thank you and um you're all so wild okay do the unhelpful advice can i ask a really quick question um with your special did you ever get any uh like kick back or clap back from the guy that did the problem with the poo the comic hari no ah we had a thing a while ago where he thought i was like going at him before i ever came out this special and i was like dude i have a problem with you i have a problem with your mentality it's not i know you work hard i know how hard this it is to make it in comedy i would never knock that i have a problem with the mentality of victimhood i think that weakens us as a people and i don't want that for us so that's what i'm speaking against this is not a shot at any comic this is a shot at a mentality that i don't want to see south asians adopt it's funny because i was yeah i was referring to this thing oh right yeah never heard of him but uh explain to bobby gilbert i mean this comic a couple years ago his whole big thing during his movement was like uh apu was a problem for the indian community or the south asian community which we got made fun of for and it wasn't there were some hacky ass jokes from a pool my thing was i think we were trying to like siphon black struggle we're like hey black people have been systematically [ __ ] over for a couple hundred years and then so they get certain looks coming and we were like well what about us because we could probably get looks like that and it's like dog you got made fun of you didn't get oppressed that's a different [ __ ] thing yeah yeah so that's my issue yeah cause a lot of my indian friends identify with what your specialist they never really identify and that's who i'm trying to speak to is because i know the industry wants this kind of [ __ ] but it's like i know i think i know my people and i think my people want this it's funny that we have different voices right like for me it's like there's a lot of asian comics like you know um korean comics specifically or um that i don't really find i don't never laughed i'll sit down i see the audience laughing i just don't understand i get the jokes you know i mean but it's like they have a different they they they do their comedy for a specific segment of people right and they have their all their voice is important you know i they i used to like start wars back in the day with people yeah not wars but i just felt like i don't like the way you're asian i like the way you're doing comedy right and i don't want to do that anymore but you know we all have our rights but you know your style of comedy is along those same lines as mine yes and i respond to you and i um let's go into the thing all right with aka singh what up slavic kingdom uh no source trust papaya to you guys my name is ahmad i'm 28 years old and finally found love my girlfriend and i have been dating for nine months now yet her parents still don't know about me she is seventh day juventus christian what up george and well i was raised muslim i don't really practice and i struggle with faith but i encourage her to follow hers because of her values what i admire most about her here's the caveat her parents are strict and there's a big chance they might not accept me when the time comes when we want to get married she says she would put up a fight for me but i consent her hesitance when she says let's worry about that then should i just cherish the time i have with the only person i truly have been able to love or do i end things to avoid more abandonment issues down the line that'll [ __ ] me up further did you have an issue with um being like an interfaith marriage her dad had an issue i didn't and hinduism and sikhi are so kind of closely aligned that it was like it's not an issue for me for her there's times where she feels like she might lose her faith and she worries about that i don't um probably because there's more hindus than anything in in terms of like south asian so i was like whatever but yeah but but this is something different this is true i feel like christians right are so especially with the word muslim yeah george can probably speak to this i mean it's like yeah you know they can't they're not even allowed to dance is that what it is george like very concerned but he's even in i didn't realize how white you were until that and it really didn't happen it was just so light yeah it got me dawg the fact that you had a mask on this whole time you told me dude his whiteness bothers me so much it's just it puts a chill down myself why is the mask still on he he he responds to if i say something he'll go okie dokie like who the [ __ ] says okie dokie roger roger all the things that he says he says rock and roll rock and roll rock and roll you know i mean it puts a chill i'm not mad at it i just didn't realize how white you were killed here here's here's my problem with the christianity in general right it's like you know i was honestly like i'm friends i'm not saying i'm friends i'm just you know in in the i live in the world right i have people like amir kaye you know um masjid rani all these kind of guys right faheem anwar guys that i love they're the most the greatest people of all those guys i've ever met in my life i would trust them with money right and they would do anything for me right and it's like that's my experience with anyone that's a muslim just great people and you know there's no you know they're just great people but their views though on just that word in general it gives them a response that is just so like based on like fears and global events you know i mean and they need to change so if you were that girl right you really love this guy you're seven-day adventist you know your parents i'd have to leave the i would leave the religion no but you love this guy how would you then introduce that it's a debt it's a dead zone so you'd never do it you never know i mean literally i i for me if i was the that guy that just emailed me right i would if i matched with someone that was a seventh day an evangelist what's it called seventh-day adventists i don't know i can't pronounce things right but sda whatever sda right i would be like you know what this is not gonna work that's not true look at george he's a perfect example of somebody who didn't necessarily yeah but he's a renegade what happened what's he left what was india if he lived there he lived in india he was the pioneer of those so if she does what he did that's one thing right but it's like a lot of them right aren't gonna do what he did well give it a chance yeah so if she's one of george's you know i mean a cringeworthy white come on man no kidding don't mark that he's a great guy i love him he used to direct bollywood movies yeah get the [ __ ] out of here any big ones uh i on wasa his voice i love that you said ano kapoor but you didn't do that for sanjay dutt why is that g is like a it's like a real sign of respect so he wasn't g [ __ ] can you put g at the end yeah like gandhiji you'll say you won't say gandhi if you're in bobby g g anyway [Music] i think there's hope i think there's hope but it's it's fragile what would you what do you want to say dude i don't know first of all i'm wondering if he's black muslim or brown muslim weirdly i think the parents would be more accepting of black muslim i think because there's less like um stigma with that sure i also i'm curious how religious she is if you're like i feel like if you're that kind of religion you can only be attracted to someone like that like you can't dance you can't do all this weird [ __ ] that's true yeah i'm curious yeah she's more george she might be more george she might be more george than we really realize that's gonna be tough to break away from her family she could do that regardless yeah but then when they break away they do what he did just go to colombia get drugged and robbed do cocaine do every single drug on the planet bro this guy he's doing black dudes that's not that different that's true same thing her version of that yeah that's their version i'm not saying it's the same but yeah yeah the parents is the same yeah yeah i like this woman actually you're right you changed my mind i like this woman i think you should run away with her yeah run away with and [ __ ] her parents yeah yeah yeah you never have to know them yeah unless you know if you get if you get really serious and you're in love and you want to start a family and get married and stuff like that you know you need child care come up come come approach it around yeah parents will come around they just do and if they don't then they're shitty people but i've seen this my man my brother-in-law's black it wasn't like the easiest thing in the world but the family came around my meaning my wife's brother-in-law black dude and that wasn't the easiest thing but like they came around and they understood he's a good guy and that's what that is i also think they'll come around when the kids come yeah dude i love it so much i mean the the urge to just be the grandma yeah and then it was strong and mixed babies typically really [ __ ] cute so it makes it a lot easier i always we also know that you're a good dude because you listen to our podcast yeah so you know that that's not even a question bro yeah you're legit 100 you know it's that's in question but um you know thank you for listening guys thank you for listening listen akash can i say something this probably could be fun i've ever had on a podcast is it real and tell us all the podcasts you did in la and say that again okay i did your future wife's podcast yeah yeah that was fun yeah this is funner this is more fun yeah yeah what else what about fighter and the kid i oh i had a lot of fun on fighting the kid i had more fun here there we go we win wait why are you so angry because they laughed you got molested by a [ __ ] no i just wasn't [ __ ] what was it yeah they didn't know that i didn't say [ __ ] um he had uh down syndrome so you said [ __ ] i didn't [ __ ] i said he had downs okay yeah he has you know i mean he's silly in that way he's still in a lot of ways yeah yeah but uh yeah and i said that in front of the guy and they started laughing you know i'm kidding yeah yeah i'm kidding but it did hurt me a little bit i'm not so sure about that chappelle guy but um i still think that he's a black uh athletic which what he's very athletic yes um those guys are fine um i love them like my heart goes out to them yeah but i just if you it feels good that you like ours it's fine yeah um but thank you so much for coming here and um you tell um you're gonna be when you're going back to new york uh saturday so you when you're doing the podcast that his problem won't be there you won't be there she's replacing him oh you're replacing giving us right what else are you going to do this week i got whiskey ginger right after with your boy with your bad for what time right after this i'm blowing straight from here all right and then tomorrow i got bert cast oh my you're doing all the hard hitters yeah whatever i can do i'll do all of it yeah yeah well you know everyone listen honestly he is a brother now he's a part of our family if you don't listen to his podcast it's on youtube oh yeah special special special on youtube that's what i meant yeah if you don't watch a special on youtube just don't even you know do what yeah don't even listen to ours anymore then no i wanted to read put a thread out yeah yeah sweet threat yeah yeah no i mean listen to ours too but even if you don't listen to it but i don't want to lose our numbers yeah i don't look like numbers but you know don't listen to it don't listen to his part uh yeah what yeah whatever but i honestly think you should because i think that you're really uh you have shiny eyes thank you so much yeah and i'm finally admitting that okay yeah what are your handles really quick akash uh it's at akash singh or akashin comedy it's ak double ash check it out guys [Music] is

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 517,181

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, podcast, khalyla, tgrbly, all things comedy, stand up, bad friends, comedy podcast, tigerbelly clips, bobby lee podcast, trash tuesday, flagrant 2, chrissy chaos, h3, bad friends podcast, bad friends clips, akaash singh, andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, commentary, alexxmedia, alexx media, eddin media, mad tv, stand up comedy, bring back apu, esther povitsky, heckler, joe rogan, wife, eric stonestreet

Id: Y20Q-NNjf5s

Length: 87min 39sec (5259 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 03 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

That bit with Eric Stonestreet is the most I've ever related to a guest ever. I would 100% ask Bobby to facetime him just to fanboy out if I could get away with it.

[u/ofxemp]

This was such a good episode. They have great chemistry

[u/Deathstriker88]

He wasn't too bad compared to Schulz. It's always fun when Bobby is relaxed enough to mess with a guest. Someone like Maron he has a lot of respect for and seems nervous.

[u/No-King-1953]

Didn’t like the Indian guy, seems fake and Not genuine

[u/bolagsreform]

OH MY GOD!!!
That picture gave me some 20 year old PTSD..

I dont know who that guy is BUT he looks like every annoying kid, in every school or community i ever been at..

Same hair with that thing in the front, dead behind the eyes, open mouth scream/smile and thats the EXACT face they do right after they burp in your face or scream as loud as they can in your ear.

I know i should not judge but god damn that picture looks so annyoing i cant click it.

[u/eatordie13]

Did anyone else start watching podcasts on YouTube around the time Covid hit? What is a different medium to check out? I’m a fan of all the great comedy podcasts and the ones that transfer well over to video, you name it I’m subscribed to it. I work solo so I have tons of time during the day so I listen to pods. If I’m being honest, very few make me laugh anymore. Most make me fall asleep. Is anyone else burnt out on “touring comedian” casts? What are some good twitch channels or just something different?

[u/Sososkitso]

I love Akaash he’s such a fun guy. If you Havnt seen his special check it out…it’s so obvious he’s going to be a name. Especially if you’ve been following him for a few years…so much growth.

[u/BadPacket1]

I really disliked this guy for some reason.

[u/lendmeyoureer]

Just listened to this episode and really don't like the guy. WAYYYY too cocky. He felt disrespectful. Maybe that's his comedy style. Didn't like the disrespect he showed towards Maron. I like the NY comics but this guy just rubbed me the wrong way. He didn't even call me off like a NY comic. He came off like a giant Dbag. That's just me. Not all people/comics are for everyone.