The Ballgown Guest We Refused to Name, Megan Gailey | TigerBelly 330

who hates you oh that's right because i i want to apologize to megan galey yeah can i do that mm-hmm all right i'm just going to tell you my point of view though real quick before you even start megan gailey consummate professional i cannot imagine a world in which she was in the wrong here but go ahead let's back up for a second i'm in the wrong and what i shouldn't have done is what i did and i feel bad about it here's what i want and see if you can pull this off george okay can you invite her to do our podcast okay good [ __ ] luck so it's exciting i feel like you two have a good thing yeah i have an apology to make can i get to my apology because i've been waiting [ __ ] 10 years for this i've been this has been weighing on my chest for 10 years every time i [ __ ] have somebody on too like jeselnik right i'm like come on you're on my side right it's like no absolutely not like i can't get anyone here because i'm in the wrong she can't even get me no no one is on her side far from the beginning i will start from the beauty but i just want to start the show normally okay right and then we'll get into that we have some ritualistic things that we're doing right and then let's get into it all right but um into our past into our our deep past you're like what are we talking about and it's like this is very real housewives i think this is a full um season arc actually yeah this is the reunion also i've never i'm nicki minaj all right can i say something may i say something this is also i've never done this before okay like i've acted a fool and i've been an [ __ ] yeah i never felt enough like bad feelings to go i need to apologize to that person you're sitting in a beautiful home that it's like maybe we should all stop taking accountability all right okay megan let's start go ahead [Music] five four three two let's get together as a family and be full of love and appreciation for each other i want to be on positive this podcast i want to be a man of love i want to be a spiritual person and um i have somebody here um on our podcast as a guest that i've been asking for for a very long time i feel like i feel like i have i feel like i've gotten one email yeah i know but i've been through okay and i immediately was like sure i've been thinking about oh okay gotcha it's not down on paper right all right i haven't written an email right but um i've been thinking about it so let's introduce everyone in the room um george um we've got um gilbert hi megan hi my beautiful girl kalila and me um let's get into it so um many years ago megan all right um my career was not going well i was just doing the road to make a living so i was a bitter person all right i'm not making excuses for myself all right but when we were in chicago at the time i was with jay de cataprida and we were technically in schaumburg because and i'm only saying that in defense of you because that's how bad it was we were we weren't even in chicago we were in one of the worst suburbs right of chicago at a club that i believe used to be a paint ball it was you know so i i i'm old i'm only helping you alongside right okay so um it was a terrible the circumstances were terrible the environment right where i did this so um the first night was fine i thought gosh it was truly so long ago yeah i feel like the first night was fine the first night i think was my birthday that my birthday was out for birthdays [ __ ] weekend because it was jade's birthday jaden and i have a birthday like one day apart maybe yeah um yeah so i think the first night was fine yeah shows were fun did you have fun for gravity well that's i mean if if it was 10 years ago i was two and a half years into stand-up like i was so new and i was hosting um and so i doing the schomburg improv was like a huge deal and so i probably did have fun but was like really nervous and i think i had only hosted for one other person there so far oh my god story just [ __ ] for those of you guys who didn't watch episodes ago of bobby talking about this megan you opened for bobby yeah okay let's just get to it all right so saturday night she comes in all right i don't know her i mean also a bitter time in my life i had nothing going on probably in dead in the winter too daddy probably only wore flip-flops i think you had a pilot you had a pilot that got picked up yeah it was problem-solving it was about oh i thought it was about animals oh it was animal practice yeah it was that far back yeah because you did not know me yet well that changes everything it might my behavior pre-kalila he was you know that was an [ __ ] yeah animal practice isn't that crazy that i know that the island you were working on yeah it still got picked up great i mean that's so that's big you won a there it is and the monkey was the star he looks like there's a dog in it yeah yeah and there i am oh my god the the front guy is on six he's amazing he's not a session uh he's on succession and i i did a podcast with him and he was like a real hunk in person oh my god he's the best yeah justin kirk is his name yeah and the monkey does look like a star oh and then that girl was on the weed show yeah she was on the weed show yeah this is fun yeah it's a fun show got canceled for seven abc nbc nbc it doesn't matter bombed okay i ate it and so you came in and you were wearing a ballroom gown no that's that's what's the real story that's such a um i was definitely wearing i'm a liar i was definitely wearing a dress that didn't go past my knees okay there wasn't a ball gown that's a lie liar let me get to it that's why i'm in the bad okay and that's why i'm apologizing okay do you notice megan's not apologizing for anything because she didn't do anything wrong i'm the one that's on the [ __ ] operating table here baby i mean you're seeing all these procedures i will all right so anyway i told her like a [ __ ] [ __ ] i don't like what she's wearing oh [ __ ] it just sound it just yeah feel it feel the shame it sounds so gross and so like what the [ __ ] all right anyway wow i'm just i'm just worried because if you think this is the worst part then i don't think i don't think you remember a lot i don't remember a lot well this is good i [ __ ] you and [ __ ] you that's why we're here okay right i shut up george all right cause i'm like this part oh this was like pretty innocuous oh my gosh i did something that i don't even remember oh [ __ ] so here we go so i go i don't like the dress something like that right it's just not it feels weird you said it my fans are this isn't good for my fans wait you said it out loud oh yeah yeah yeah uh okay megan i did say it out loud yeah yes i did i said it out loud and then what else did i say um you had a point with the shoes because you also did not like the shoes it was it was true oh my god what an [ __ ] it was a head to toe don't look at me like that um and so i judged you from head to toe uh 100 and so you took issue with the shoes which i actually you were correct on the shoes because i probably had not a kitten heel because i'm not a hundred you know so i had like an apple i had an actual heel which is very difficult to perform stand-up comedy into that that has stayed with me um that's what i was seeing i thought we were off valence on stage right that's why i was talking about the shoes you felt off balance yeah so the shoes and then and then that was kind of that was sort of it until later oh okay so i think i know where you're getting at later are you getting at this point where we're leaving the club and the sound guy you texted the sound guy and i read his text yes while he was in the bathroom well he was oh so he didn't show it to me he did not show it to you oh that's another she called the sound guys stand up again we should call the sound guy yeah he's a really nice guy dave i dave good all day what's up dave davis okay i'm apologizing [ __ ] you all right this is great this is great this didn't happen during my tenure so i don't you know but in the text though what did you say though i said hey um i drove back to the city because it was like a 40-minute drive i decided to drive because you guys were going to hang out at some terrible bar and so i was like i know which one it was i drove back to this i'm gonna i drove back to the city um i didn't want to hang out he's very taxing that's what you wrote yeah that's what i read i can attest all right which i honestly because i was like oh my god what because immediately i got a phone call um from you and from jade and i was like what the [ __ ] did i say and i'm like taxing was very diplomatic like [Laughter] but i was like oh my god that's like the sweetest way i could have described i was worse than taxing yeah yeah you had to toad her what does that mean that's what i do to all human beings i didn't do that you swiped right no but that's so funny that you guys do this human beings because i looked at her we're going full apart from head to toe i am but i also look at the inside okay and the inside i saw the pure soul okay so the phone call you you and jade called her yes called me and then and and were like why don't you like us why are you mad at us um like what did we do you know sort of uh and i and i was like and and dave had texted me and been like hey bobby saw my phone while i was in the bathroom he they want to call you and i'm like what the [ __ ] the [ __ ] is going on wow insane people it's insane so anyway so it was so you ambushed her this is not that's not the end either that's not the end that's not the end so then we had a sunday show of course and so sunday show i have a friend who's now since passed oh why is getting worse a guy died who was like hey do you think and this was his mo god rest his beloved little crazy soul he would always like try and come out on the sunday shows whatever whichever friend was opening and try and get a guest spot or whatever so he was like can i come out with you and i was like well he does not like me i do not think you're gonna get a guest spot but you're more than welcome to come and so he came with me and i just sat at the back of the club and dave comes over to me and it's like hey bobby wants to see you in the green room what and so i was like okay oh [ __ ] you know i was definitely i was terrified and so um dave walks me back to the green room and walks in with me and then and then you said to dave like you can leave now and so it was maybe wait wait i just straight up said you decided to your friend dave you can leave the sound guy the sound oh dave okay not your friend that's a comic not my dead friend is your dead friend alive at this point my dead friend is alive at this point okay good and desperately trying to get a guest spot did i give him one i truly i think i did i think you did i must i think you did i always do um really funny kid dan ronan look his stuff up okay um all right so so you had dave leave i don't think jade was in there and so it was just me and you and then you kind of took me to task again um in in the green room i can hear you from here i got to take this off and and and really we're like so you think i'm taxing and i he confronted you i brought it up i [ __ ] brought it up yes oh this is terrible and like i like i i was 20 you know i was a 25 year old girl and i can't belie like i remember being like i bobby i think you know you're taxing um and really sort of was even at that moment i was like i know that i'm not wrong here um i maybe can't i maybe shouldn't have i like i i truly had been like what could i have done differently and i guess i could have not called you taxing but it like okay let me stop okay let me stop your second okay number one i am taxing all right and i've never admitted that before i will be a more all right i i don't know what the [ __ ] you're doing right i need allies here word i am your ally i don't think you are right now i need an hour this happened before my tenure so i can't really like defend you you know what i mean i'm your ally too i'm just trying to like really i don't know i'm trying to like colonic it like we got to get it all out you're right you're right okay you're right um and so yeah so we we had a conversation in the green room that was like not great i remember um and then this is the worst it's it's it's the worst podcast there's maybe so bad there's maybe only like one more detail left give me the one let's get it all up so we did the sunday shows they ended because you told me what to wear on sunday too and so i did oh my god and so i wore what you had recorded he requested her to wear something and his butt crack showing it's a big deal well the because the pieces you know the pieces are coming back to me so you you require i think there's really only like one piece left in there give me the last piece give me the last piece so you told me to like wear a certain thing and i did and then you were like see those were your that was your best set of the weekend and i'm like yeah i made a point i guess you're right did you have do you let me ask you this was it a better set that you had that it was a good set yeah yeah for sure it could have been right yeah no no no i i think there was like yes there we go i think one point to you you were right and then i remember you told me how much you made that weekend gross dude bro that's disgusting oh my god i'm so [ __ ] gross but stop stop stop stop but but that was only because then you were like hey listen i know i know i feel like we had a fun weekend though um and so you gave me i remember you gave me a bonus oh two points yeah there we go that was good yeah yeah yeah yeah okay was that okay extra hundred yeah it was a hundred maybe okay yeah so now let's again i i'm going to interrupt this by saying before you give an apology i've felt a lot of second-hand embarrassment listening to the story over the years so i want to second-hand apologize and to do this um we have purchased three ball gowns and you get to choose which ball gown bob you get to that before we do that though before we go into that right if we want to do that all right i um it's been weighing on me it really has for a long time and um i owe you okay and i bought you some presents wait hang on nope you're going to apologize in the ball gown bring out the ball gowns where are they i just want to add this isn't even top 20 terrible things that have happened to me in stand-up cop all right good good good there's way thank you you're like this doesn't even this is like who's playing wearing what i'm the only one wearing purple's pretty purple is pretty i don't like that because i really and i hate bling but i feel like bling is appropriate for and that's sort of that's tea length yellow no i think um i think purple i like the purple let's do the purple then the purple is very cinderella yeah i i only knew that you thought it was a ball gown because listeners of this podcast would come and comment on just random instagram posts of mine you know like me like meeting my nephew and they were like did you wear a [ __ ] ball gown and i'm like what is this coming from wasn't even a ball gown what was this um and then i and then i was able to put two and two together [Music] [Laughter] oh your belly is so cute thank you it's nice okay so um i want to look in your eyes okay number one i want to say um i've never had an opener right an emcee rise the way you have in the comedy business usually when you do open mics and stuff or when you see a host at a club you never see them again but over the years um i've watched you from afar grow become a part of the community comedy community and you did something that is next to impossible i mean it's a very difficult world to get into and you persevered not only through my [ __ ] but other [ __ ] to get to where you're at and i want to say um i truly am deep down super sorry about it that's not who i am anymore um i think about it and uh and i would like to have a friendship with you in the beginning maybe i could earn my stripes and then maybe one day you'll like me for real you know i mean yeah so that's the introduction so i bought you some presents and in korean culture you can't refute any of the presents you have to take it okay all right so would you like to be in this process absolutely of nurturing and also of of what i just want to say that i um i did i i rose to spite you you know you were the villain i see you again i know i know i promise but doesn't that give you motivation that that does give you motivation because i've had so much slight and people [ __ ] me over in this business or be complete [ __ ] and it motivates me yeah well and i'm being genuinely honest of the things that men have done to me during my now almost 13 years of doing stand-up truly not top 20. oh thank you first um and they are all true losers and not have a nice house definitely don't have a george you know they've got yeah they've got no one thank you and people are like you should cancel them and it's like they're gonna kill themselves um so you just kind of you just look at the facebook posts and know that that's coming yeah so i do i do appreciate your apology okay good um and yeah i'm i'm so i'm so happy that you have at me at five months pregnant you have a bigger belly in that [Music] you guys i don't like shopping you know i know what i like right but you know i would i've always dreamed of somebody to kind of know what i like and then get it for me yeah and that's essentially what stitch fix is right you you fill out a little like form right it's very it's very simple right and then surprise i honestly you fill it out the things that you get you it'll blow your mind you'll think yourself how do they know wow that's what i love about stitch fix stitch fix freestyle is your trusted style destination where you can discover and instantly buy curated items based on your style likes and lifestyle whether you're 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helixsleep.com belly [Music] great so the first item we got you also a baby shower gifts as well oh wow this is a nest audio for your google amazing yeah um i don't know what it does but it's yours okay thank you so much thank you leave it there for a second for a second beautiful all right here's the second thing when he meant gifts he meant gifts wow i got another nest hub thing okay all right they go together do they go together yeah i believe they go together and these and and they're and i'm not going to return these i just want to know if there's receipts or if these were if these were promotional gifts that were given to you that now oh we have received could i say this and um i'm offended by your question i'm offended by your question but i have to say that we went out to a store and we spent our own money guys on this stuff oh my god this is too much i mean when anthony jeselnik was on yeah he promised he was like i don't know i i don't know what i have to do but if i have to give her gifts i'm going to give her gifts so he's putting his he's being true to his work i mean that should just show you the [ __ ] i've been through that i opened for anthony for almost two and a half years he'll never apologize to me for the things i saw in nashville it's not over you want some more i you want some more like it's your early baby shower this is so exciting you gift it to your husband without that we also got you an lg sound system and it's also dolby which means that it's surround sound and bluetooth i can't wait to bring this stuff home to my asian husband and he's going to go we have all of it no this is so great no that's amazing so you have all of these right i don't know i don't know what we have how many tvs do you have um we have two you want three [Laughter] and you thought ellen was great welcome to tiger belly wow you had lg 4k it's 4k megan oh my god and and cj didn't want me to come he's going to be really excited now let me ask you something did cj hate me be honest um no i don't think so he just you know i'm pregnant someone i love is in the hospital i just got back from traveling for 18 days like he was like do you know what you're going in and i was like i don't think i don't think it's gonna be bad i think it's gonna be nice oh you think that it was gonna be me he thought maybe i was walking into a trap oh there's no way no there's no there's no trap here looking out for you there's no trap here it could have been you know what i mean well i had heard lovely things about you and so that's what's [ __ ] stupid man it's [ __ ] stupid man you know this is bobby this is like so above and beyond listen to this okay though too all right and i'm not trying to i'm not trying to fight for my behavior all right but i want to say that you know i grew up in comedy in the 90s where it was just as hard for me as well for minorities i mean it was really hard and um i was bullied treated like [ __ ] i've been beat up a bunch of times like physically beat up in comedy you mean like where i was bleeding from every orifice in my face like people you know i've done i've been beat up by audience members i've just been through a lot of things in comedy and so you know 30 years i've been in in in this business right so um i think what you witnessed um 15 years ago whatever was a reason it's not an excuse no but i'm just telling you that you know i experienced a lot of trauma in um show business and i crawled my way up like you did and um i just feel bad that i wasn't able to be more supportive if you were not funny that'd be one thing is that weird to say you could be honest i i think i think that because you're super talented too and you have all the necessary um talent and you know traits to be a big star in this business i just feel like i i [ __ ] up i will say this you might have been um the reason why or at least by the time i started going on the road with him he really does treat everyone so different so nicely now and maybe it took you yeah i mean it it honestly was a good lesson for me too because it's like i i was a host and then i was a feature and now i'm a headliner which is i think sometimes now kind of rare to have gone through because it's like a lot of people just go straight to headliner and don't and so it taught me too of like you don't know who you're gonna see again um and and i that's sort of how i was raised anyways but it was like oh yeah i mean and i think about this all the time the people that are are managers assistants they're going to run networks in five years and so you do go oh my god like everybody comes back around um that yeah it it really was i i remember the first time seeing you in l.a you said something to me and you i mean you got it was definitely you saw a ghost you know i think i remember i remember that i remember the night i remember that he came i saw a ghost that night yeah you did you came home and you were you were like oh [ __ ] yeah i thought i was freaking oh yeah because you came up to me you go i live here and let's just be friends or let's be cool or something like that and i go okay all right she's here you know and i remember coming home being frazzled by it you were i remember that night yeah i learned a very big lesson and now you're a beautiful quinceanera and and and and thank thank the lord jesus christ are you a christian um irish catholic too and uh what you say i love too i love too yeah i love too i love all that catholicism right um i um i have a feeling that um that this is gonna turn out to be like eleanor and i yeah you and eleanor are like in eleanor there's a you know carragher yeah you had a what 25 years of her wanting me dead yeah and then one day we just hashed it out i'm a fighter yeah and i'm opinionated and it's not good and i want to change you know so your husband your husband yeah cj yeah i've seen photos yeah cute filipino thank you she's filipi that's so exciting yeah like how good it's gonna look no it's really i we're having a boy and i was like i don't know if i could handle having like an exotic daughter and and you're filipino too yeah okay see i've heard about your husband cause i'm from chicago oh everyone's kept trying to get me to meet him yeah we never crossed fast but wait you see comedian too um he was and and he's big in the he has his own sports um creative agency and his merch and his and is um i think a celebrated filipino in the in the circle i was gonna guess you were filipino but he's asked me to stop doing that why because sometimes sometimes they're vietnamese you know yeah either or yeah and he's like it's not it's not no one thinks it's cool that you can guess who's filipino i when white people can do it i give them a i give them a thumbs up when they get a fist bump yeah like when a white dude is like that guy's chinese right i go yeah yeah yeah yeah like and chinese is what most white guys guess yeah and you're like that's a colombian man but i feel like i am i think my asian radar is very very good i mean i have an asian insider right can i ask you a question and i don't want you to um this is something i would ask anything we start a new feud maybe i'll start a new feud would you say did is did you ever always date asians no no okay you have to say it like that yeah that was really like it's the most disgusting thing you've ever seen no no no when it's reversed like that that's not fetishizing no and i have a joke about it i mean it's obviously very rare yeah see white woman asian man yeah um this is first asian man and i had dated honestly every race but asian um and then yeah we were friends for eight years before we maybe that's what i sensed in the green room i saw him the night the night that that that you called like i was actually at a party at his ex-girlfriend's house with him the night how does it turn over if you've been friends and had this platonic thing for eight years what is the point that you just kind of both agree that it's no longer that um i think we both had pretty dramatic weight losses and then you know that sort and then the 2016 election happened and it really shook me too oh yeah i just flippantly was like i'm not gonna [ __ ] away dude until i'm not gonna [ __ ] away dude until you know this writes the ship which was like a path i was already sort of on anyways yeah and definitely giving my [ __ ] like a lot of credit like i'm going to somehow turn the 2020 election and i oh speaking of bad road i like went to scottsdale the weekend after um trump got elected and it was like i knew going in like this is gonna be brutal and so i promised myself i was like you can have like one meltdown you know like and you can yell at one bat and like arizona i'm from indiana so it's like i i grew up around all types of people and beliefs and and in indiana in indiana yeah there are mixed people there oh yeah yeah i'm from indianapolis oh india but yeah yeah i like that club crackers helium is there there's helium now i don't know what's going on with crackers um but do you know the lady that owns ruthanne do you like her um she's always been very she's nice kind to me yeah that was the first place i ever did stand up yeah and so like arizona's like i mean indiana is confusing to me too because they always behave you see confederate flags everywhere and you're like this was the north you know like this is the first like stop on the underground railroad that they were like safe and now you've gone back yeah um but in arizona arizona is people that like want to live in la but don't have any skills and so you're just and they have the worst plastic surgery because like the science the science for some reason hasn't gotten them yet so you just have the ugliest craziest racist faces staring at you yeah and it was a brutal place to be that's a good place for a real housewives don't you think scottsdale scottsdale absolutely i always think of scottsdale as where every nfl player gets a dui because it's like the off season they have like night clubs like i went to a scottsdale nightclub that was rivaled vegas it was insane wow and you're like why the [ __ ] is this here why do people come here there's one great thing about scottsdale their chopped salad have you had it there remember that thing that was like lined up with like we went to that one restaurants called public or citizen or something like that and remember that they had a really good salad that's the only thing about scottsdale yeah yes arizona for me is reminds me of san diego it also reminds me of spits of florida right where there is there is a conservatism there that's the kind that you see on fox almost right and i can never crush i've crushed in places but arizona's hard to like just get a huge crush yeah yeah i mean i don't know what it is but it's a weird town i've done there the club i was doing in scottsdale had been on bar rescue twice oh really love that [ __ ] so it was definitely like well this and the owner usually does like 45 minutes oh which rick bronson it's not rick bronson i do like rick brock he's very kind to me i love rick um no it's some guy i don't know if uh but he was going to be out of town that weekend so i actually ended up having like a fine weekend yeah but i've had fun at stand up live that's a good club yeah i've had campy is a great club yeah i've never been to tempe yeah um i think you would do well in tempe thank you do you like headlining i do i do i hate i mean no i like you heard me hesitate i honestly really like doing stand-up in l.a me too yeah i if i would prefer if my career was just in town 15 20 i mean i did skyler stone's jam in the van i did that supernova some store spots i did pretty good this week in terms of financially oh yeah and you don't have to go anywhere yeah and it's i think yeah i actually really like i lived in new york before this and i love doing stand-up there too but i like being at home um and so i do like you're a home person i'm not a home person but i do you know i'm i like right now and so it's like i do kind of like that traditional structure of a job in a lot of ways are you staffing at someone on something now i i'm going back in a few weeks oh good what show was it dude um no it's paws uh with sam j oh yeah yeah yeah that's a great show i love her too i love seeing i love her she's so funny and we wrote the whole first season over zoom oh wow wow yeah and then it's we all got or i was vaccinated like right as they started shooting and so i got to go to new york twice i wore a massive dildo and [ __ ] a watermelon and that was my hbo debut oh great congratulations yeah you wore dildo and you [ __ ] a watermelon right that's amazing jack's on that too right yeah jack is on it um zach fox love him um langston kerman never heard uh you would no langston's love laxton langston's really handsome he's so handsome he's uninsecure he was an insecure first season so you're doing a-list [ __ ] i would think that can i just throw this other idea i would think that because the experience with me in that green room that weekend that i would have turned you off from asians well i mean we didn't get together for eight more years oh i know so it was a long eight years of just kind of getting that weird aging vibe yes yes right you shook it probably in your head you're like not all asian guys are the same there's evil ones and then there's good ones like cj the white girls that you've dated except for sarah um do they always have a history of dating asians they've always there's always like a thing where it's like you're laying in bed with a white girl and they go you know in the 70s my dad used to take me to this kung fu festival oh and i go what kind of like a film festival and i just remember as a little white girl sitting in the theater just being exposed to asians in that way it's like always if you go to their house there's bamboo and there's like a little casing where there's num chucks and there's a bruce lee [ __ ] yeah there's a vibe about it that was not that was not the vibe that's not the vibe at my house i think i think my parents honestly my dad would have preferred like he just loves basketball and football so he was like people would be like megan seems like she's going to marry a black guy and he'd be like i love it i can't wait her brothers are terrible at sports also you have real liberal parents yeah that's so lucky it's weird no i feel so so lucky but then there's also times where i'm like would i have been able to overcome because i agree with them on a lot of things i've definitely pulled especially my dad further you know i i i'm very open about having had an abortion and so there's stuff that made him be like oh yeah it's like i hate when guys are like i have daughters i have sister it's like you don't you shouldn't have to have that to be able to like understand a human being but i do think my experiences have helped pull him in towards my direction you know what's interesting i did that with my parents yeah my parents were the most racist people you've ever met in your life filipino people should all die yeah he would stand up and make announcements like that well i will say this inter-asian racism is real strong so real very strong they come to my country to the philippines and they treat us filipinos like [ __ ] yeah we treat your land so pure no you don't you [ __ ] write a sharpie no i don't like them either like who the koreans in cebu oh yeah i was trying i was yelling at them as well you were talking is it a class thing is it classist yeah okay it's like in south africa when i performed there the lineups were me trevor noah had to throw that in there um paulo francisco bunch of people and i would open the show and i would kill 2 000 people and after the show we would do a meet and greet and all the south africans would wait in line and the promoter looked at me and he said no one is going to say to you you're funny whoa and i go why i just killed it he goes it's asians are third class citizens here i go we'll see i killed it we waited in that line people would just walk by me and go to like yeah i mean either trevor or some white guy and go you were hilarious and just walk past me i did 30 shows what 30 shows i did not a single you're funny so they felt comfortable laughing at you yeah but they didn't want to then be like owning up to it individually yeah yeah i mean yeah i it's [ __ ] up but i'll tell you something i did that was so [ __ ] up why this is a part of my so they asked me can you judge a local comic competition in south africa because i had one night off so i went to a coffee shop it was slammed some guy was so funny i gave him 10 stars after the show i walked up to him and i poked i poked him on the shoulder and i he turns around i go hey i just wanna let you know i'm a comic from la i think you're hilarious he turns back around and starts talking to who whoever he was talking to so i went back and i changed his four i think that's good good for you i changed the score to a nine it was still good yeah yeah i still won but it felt good to give them a nine yeah that's and this is nice recent in this is probably ten years ago [Music] fanduel sports book yeah you guys i love um online betting and fanduel sportsbook is my favorite one wildcard weekend just got wilder oh yeah fanduel sports book is hooking new customers up with 30 to one enhanced odds when they make a deposit wow that means you can bet five dollars to win 150 bucks on any team to win any wild card game okay fanduel is america's number one sports book it's it's a simple and easy to use app with generous promotions every day it's safe and secure with best class customer service when you win fanduel will pay you and your winnings in little as two hours oh if you already have fanduel sportsbook fanduel is hooking all customers up with 50 when you refer a friend plus your friend will get 50 dollars too don't miss your chance to win 150 off a 5 bet when you use the promo code belly when signing up download the fanduel sports book app use promo code belly and pick your wild card team before kickoff disclaimer plus and present nba or wv new users only 10 hours worth of positive requirements must watch and indesign offer market max bodies 100 dollars but it's working users will fill in secret within 72 hours dnc credit expires fortune days after receipt researchers apply see full terms at sportsbook.fandle.com gaming problem call 100 gambler or visit vandal.com one hundred next app or text next up two five three three four two a-z eighty-eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven seven or visit ccpg.org chat ct 1809 with it in tn redline 1-800-889-9789 better help you guys i used to usually do a funny little jingle you know with these things but with better help sometimes i don't like doing it because i want to take it seriously better help has saved our lives here at our house during the pandemic we needed therapy we used better help we got it this podcast is sponsored by better help online therapy check out betterhealth.com belly for 10 off your first month better help is customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to it's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can start communicating with your therapist in under four to eight hours unload the stressors and get some unbiased feedback you'd be pretty surprised at what you might gain from it see for yourself this podcast is sponsored by better help and tiger belly listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com belly that's b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p dot com slash belly for 10 off your first month [Music] the dynamic in foreign countries like performing there is very hard to unders i mean i i it's it's confusing so i've i did shows in ireland in northern ireland and my mom is irish catholic and my dad is irish protestant and it's like do not like when they're there they're like do not [ __ ] tell anybody even though they were american they're like if you are talking to a catholic person your last name is my mom's maiden name mcmahon if you're talking to a protestant person say your last name is your last name gately like and i look very catholic i look very well what's the problem if you weren't that well they would treat you like [ __ ] or what they hate each other they're aware they've been at civil war since since martin luther that's right yeah they and they find american racism to they're like your racism has been like 250 years get the [ __ ] you guys got to get over it i know i know but i was doing shows there and my mom like begged me and it was in you know they have walled it's like the most walled city in the world because they separate the catholic neighborhood and the protestant neighborhoods and so i was performing in a protestant neighborhood and my mom was like megan do not [ __ ] be cute this is not a time to try and push the envelope i do not want them i do not want you to tell them that you are from a mixed wow family so they would be outwardly hostile hostile people would see once they found out we were american less so yeah because they're like oh whatever whatever you guys are doing over there do whatever the [ __ ] you want but if people would like see my mom and dad and i out to dinner and my dad looks very protestant and my mom looks very catholic i remember on multiple instances were they look at yes wait how does a protestant guy look so protestants tend to have the darker hair um black irish is like traditionally what a protestant looks like and then a catholic is fair freckled red hair oh okay so that's i mean and then there's like sometimes it's not that but that's like kind of and so people would see the three of us together and shake their heads at us or like and it was usually older people wow yeah that's still there it's still there you know what none of that is ever going to go away the israel-palestine conflict that conflict it's just is that human beings we're just born as tribes and we conflict and that's it and this one they sort of like you know they call it the troubles that's what they call their civil war they're like oh we had a spot of trouble like crazy oh wow so like it just like shows you what it's like to just like clamp down all of your emotions and feelings like that is who they are yeah and they it's gotten a lot better they have a peace treaty but the walls are still up you know they're still they're still up from molotov cocktails like that and and they will i don't think they will say the troubles are over it's just they have periods that it's it's better if i was a buddhist guy i was an asian guy i was married to a protestant would they be bad because i'm buddhist no they're most popular mayor they ever had was jewish oh wow wow so they're they only hate each other they only hate each other we were in australia when i was 10 years old for a swimming competition my mom we had like the whole philippine delegation there and we were in perth at this time this was in the mid-90s and everywhere we went like we would always hear some type of like you know they would call us you know what they would call us they were like look at those little brown machines so i was like is that a slight or is it light for sure like little brown machines and i remember like my mom saying like feeling like english is not her first life you know she was uh complimented by that she was like oh they call this like brown machines like that must be a good thing and my sister and i were like pretty sure that's not good ma i don't think that's good and were you raised in the philippines yeah i was wow see like my my husband doesn't even speak to golic you know i think he was part of that that his parents uh grew up there or yes they yeah they moved here when they were in their 20s so when you go to like family things it's it's still very filipino is still like the filipino food and all of that is still a big part of it though oh yeah when we like when we go to thanksgiving it's lumpy uh it's like fried rice um it's there and i mean sometimes they obviously like fried rice isn't filipino but they're like yeah we just like cook all day yeah yeah but i do feel bad for i mean my husband wishes he spoke to gollug but like they immigrated and moved to iowa and then moved to erie pennsylvania and i think his parents goal was just like assimilate a similar assimilate and so they spoke tagalog at home and so he can kind of understand it but he was not actively taught it i think that's really similar to you right yeah georgia georgia megan seems like somebody that like like you that if you went out with a guy right who was some from far away land a country you'd never heard of and whatever their family was cooking regardless of what it is you would still eat it yes yeah but there are a lot of white girls they're like i'm not eating that like i've had i've gone to korean restaurants with white girls and they've seen like it's just bibimbap which is you're that white girl to me i've taken you to multiple places where the food has been a little bit you know edgy uh-huh and you're like i'm not eating that and i'm like what kind of [ __ ] asian are you man this is a tough episode for you this has been the worst for me because i've never been like this wow this is the first time i've ever been like this i feel like i honestly dude megan honestly i'm gonna make it you know what i'm gonna [ __ ] do i'm gonna force myself in your life that sounds terrible no not in a car not in a lot not in an illegal way no he's going to force himself to be the godfather i know no i'm going to tell that once a year yeah i'm going to tell my son bobby's your real dad and then no no you no cj that's your daddy i'm going to have cj eating i'm going to have to be best friends with your husband cj right you're going to be a part of this family can you get his mom to meet joe coy that's awesome yeah if i made that happen no i'm kidding no but if i i could make it happen yeah if i made it happen right would that give me a couple of points in your in your let's okay let me i want to i want to know where i'm at i want to know where i'm at okay it's the scale we've done this now right we've opened right i apologize right these things are from the goodness of my heart i want you to take it home right and i want you to be complete and [ __ ] honest with me megan all right do you believe my apology oh 100 okay but i came in good you know like i came in being like we're good not that we weren't like it's not like i heard it we weren't good no to me we were but we're not i know but to me it was truly water under the bridge where okay totally but because you didn't do anything wrong okay that's why you're you're an innocent bystander right what i'm saying though is is that if okay let's what away all right so [Laughter] let's suppose let's bring it down to 10 points okay okay i love my mom one through ten a ten i love my brother stephen 10. wow i love kalila 10. this is the true number one through ten let's see what five is five to me is um what would be a five andre no andres is a six oh wow right i'm gonna give you an eight wow oh [ __ ] i'll take that thank you you george i'm going to give you a nine wow in front of me in front of me he does more for me that's true he does more for me that's that's how you measure it so that's what i measure and the people that i hate who do i hate there's a guy in that poster right yeah yeah yeah right i give him a two okay so with that scale right trying to figure out which one it is i can just tell you and you beep it out yeah uh oh okay that was the one guy who's in the whose name i didn't know perfect perfect that's that's the guy exciting so with that being in play right what would you give me one through ten right now of like love not just love in terms of just as a human being you mean where i'm at with you i think us like a seven dude that's all i give a [ __ ] about seven is the highest number i ever thought i could ever get that's really good wow that's pretty good like i hope that's not too low no no that's my honest you're four wow [Laughter] never give up and uh you know where the dress when i tell you to drop seeing you in this gown with adidas sandals they're every like drunk bridesmaid such a funny visual yes it's a pretty dress thank you yeah um so a seven is all i give a [ __ ] about really good yeah but you know what my goal in life is and i promise you i'll get there a nine wow damn no an eight i'll never get a nine with you and eight right now you're at eight with me pretty high right because you came over right you were very funny confident you stuck to your guns and you accepted my apology and i just really appreciate it and i'm going to be honest with you a weight has lifted from me i'm glad yes oh my god this is a christmas miracle you know a weight has lifted from me and i feel so much freer so thank you for allowing me to go through that experience you know because um this is really like not even joking been heavy in his mind for a long time i feel bad about don't no i need to learn but it's genuinely like oh megan i'm killing it because no i don't worry about it like i didn't i didn't need it yeah yeah yeah but the thing is it's like because i there was part of me like once joselnick was on and he did tell me um he would buy my baby a box of diapers for every time his name was said during this episode and i think we're at like four so we're like i'm leaving with more presents than this um i was like i wonder if he's gonna want to i wonder if he's going to want to talk to me at some point i know that's like when did you feel that um after anthony told me about that right yeah no as soon as that happened that was the moment where i went we got to get her eventually this has got to be i cannot think about this anymore you know i mean it's like it's just it's too much i want to be free of it you know also it's like if i see you at the improv i want to be able to say hi yeah i want to be able to avoid you that's weird no you know but so um this is from the bottom of my heart i you i owe you more i feel like but i think a tv is sufficient the whole sound of the little guy in the whole sounds i mean i shipped that tv to my parents they really they i was at their house last two weeks and with the tiniest tv oh they would love this thing little perfect giveaway shipped this whole thing the whole system that's this is um no this is big i have another question to ask would you ever do do stuff with us again yeah yeah yeah this is pleasant for you oh yeah absolutely you're very good and i came i was feeling really sick you know i still have i have like nighttime sickness instead and i was like honestly if this was anything else i probably canceled just because i wasn't feeling good and then i was like i don't want them to think i can sold because i'm not in a good place oh i see so i was like i you know i like ate a banana ate a protein bar like truly was like okay we got to put on real pants like you got to get yourself over there and there's a sandwich place right by here i like that i have promised my uh no no you didn't but i um i have a feeling that um we'll be seeing more of you wow okay 2022. yeah how do you feel about being a mommy i'm i'm definitely nervous i'm very very nervous about giving birth um and i'm nervous about you know i've been in therapy since i was 14 and i know the like damage and i love my parents they're amazing but it's like oh your parents can really [ __ ] you up and i'm kind of [ __ ] up and am overly open and it's like i i do it to cj and he like kind of knew what he signed up for but i'm like [ __ ] i do imagine that like i'm gonna tell a joke about my kids someday that is they're gonna be like why did you [ __ ] say that about me so i like i already worry about screwing them up i honestly have realized recently that mine comes from i come from a family of alcoholism that we had secrets and so to counteract that i became an over-sharer i'm having to keep secrets that i don't want to be keeping so now i'll just tell everybody everything about me um because i have that in common yeah yeah i mean i think a lot of comedians do um where people will always be like why do you do stand-up you know like you could sell real estate like you seem like a normal person and it's like oh well you know there's drunks in my face and then they're like oh okay yeah yeah that makes that makes more sense yeah but i like i like i have to be honest i like midwesterny white chicks that are super funny like rose is like that a little bit to me right you like rose rose bud yeah i think of her as being from like virginia yeah i'm just just okay yes yeah yeah yeah from very like well no literally literally in the midwest yeah but just like you know i mean just i think chicago like when people are like oh i can tell you're a comic from chicago it means a lot and it's like we're so annoying all we ever want to do is talk about chicago like it's like i just want to talk to gilbert about restaurants right now and like and it's like gibson's yeah he loves illuminatis i love them i had it like two weeks ago they have one in indianapolis i do it there's a pancake place i like it too oh pink house anyway we do at the end we do a thing called unhelpful advice at the end so what did people do is they email us as problems and we try to answer it okay great on hopeful advice with megan gayley hey guys my name is modar and i'm 20 a 28 year old man from syria but i've been living in germany for almost seven years now i'm feeling disconnected from my country and culture i don't feel like i belong neither in syria nor in germany the good thing is that uh i like my life in germany so my question is to you have you ever felt that you don't belong and even disconnected with your own culture would you also feel obligated to your own culture and country oh my god that's maybe being irish that's a hard one that's a tough one that's a really i don't think i can give advice about that yeah i mean he said siri i was like oh my god i i can maybe speak to that but a little bit because i'm still a 1.5 and i still had you know some level of privilege both in the philippines and over here but i can speak to the feeling of being in limbo or the sort of like cultural dissonance where sometimes you feel like you belong [Music] everywhere but nowhere at the same time and you've sort of become this person that i've always i pride myself in being able to fit in you know but it's almost like that's by circumstance that i've had to do that be very like adaptable because of like that big change that happened to me when i was 15. i mean i was like all my i have 28 first cousins they all went to ivy league schools except for my brother and i yeah i never went to college i flunked out of high school i went to four rehabs as a kid you know i made so many problems i go to korean church and they would no one would say anything and talk to me i was i was a [ __ ] black black sheep yeah i mean i felt alone and confused i didn't know what it meant to be korean or american and laws i don't know anything about that i know that i have found myself the who i am germany i mean europe is white europe is very racist you know like parts of paris throw bananas on the [ __ ] soccer field they're crazy we've got a lot of problems but they've got a lot of problems too yeah and invented colonization so i really did and i know germany feels really bad about what they did do they they definitely did try and take over the world and genetically cleanse and so i have to imagine being a brown person or just a person that looks different living there it like exacerbates that and even if he wasn't a refugee if he came on a work visa then you're trying to prove no i'm good let me you shouldn't against me let me stay but it's like i i ca you know my bad advice is like is there a group of like syrian expats but then i wonder oh do authorities there see syrians gathering and go they're up to something like is there a way for them to even get together and hang out that isn't gonna raise red flags just because people want to raise red flags yeah i've heard lots of black people and latina people say that filipino people are their favorite asians yeah but gilbert calls us the mexicans of the sea yeah like black people are always like oh no it's um yeah filipino people are like well i mean when you said cj was in comedy that doesn't that's not a surprise to me because i find filipinos to be extremely funny it's in their culture right this guy joe the list goes on cj or you know number two um i think that they're the most talented people aside from black people on planet earth oh my god the dancing i think the karaoke he'll show me clips of guys playing basketball shoeless we gotta get them some shoes over there and they're [ __ ] euro stepping on just like dirt ground and then truly singing beautiful karaoke right after yeah they're so you guys are great people oh i got a breakdancer inside of me i feel it [Laughter] oh in your belly yeah yeah oh my god i can't wait i think he's gonna be handsome i hope are you excited look at this couple i mean of course oh my look at how beautiful that is that's the best cup that's the best picture of us that is that wedding day that's wedding day yeah that's a great [ __ ] photo yeah he's a handsome filipino and he's tall like i'm always like when we because we still have an eagle rock and we would go to the eagle rock target and i'd be like do you think they're mad at me and he's like they're not mad at you none of them want me to see food city there i'm like yeah but you're six you know you're six foot plus and he's like they don't they they know i'm they can tell i'm not rich like they don't they're like they're proud of me they're like you good good you got that nice white girl so megan do you want anything to plug that you want to plug um i host a podcast for the lifetime network called i love a lifetime movie with naomi ek perrigan another very funny comedian and we watch and um break down lifetime movies every week oh that's cool it's really really fun and then oh wow gilbert you are good see filipinos are the most talented um and then i have so many podcasts it's kind of impo someone was like why do you have so many podcasts it's like because i'm a loser whatever uh so then i i have a sports podcast called megan fun of sports that i host with this other really funny girl megan connolly who used to be the patriots reporter oh wow and now uh works for wwe um and so those are sort of like the two main and gosh i'm trying to think what pause will be coming back in the spring and so that's really exciting and then i might have another failed pilot this year and so that's really exciting too on a network yeah congratulations thank you those are brutal to go through it's really brutal and they're they're filming for a show that got picked up like instead of mine on my street oh god you know so they have like no really parking signs and then like a guy came and knocked on the door and was like hey so we're going to be shooting like a really good pilot yeah like he's like so nice has no idea that he's pouring salt in the wound um yeah so that's um so you have a baby on the way a baby maybe a pilot right two great podcasts you're doing the road at a little a little yeah wrote a little wrote a little uh you know what one day and i'm gonna make this happen you can say no i'm gonna one day just one time do one more road date with you i'll pay you really good okay all right we should go back to maybe have you be the feature yeah all right i'll pay you so good you know because you know what i did i feel so bad and i feel like in schaumburg filipinos come and see it they do you know i got a lot of fun i would love that right i would love that if you know we'll see how this takes us but um i think there's a good beginning and uh i don't wear stuff like this but come on done i've come undone um this thing was hurting my titties yeah no it's it's painful that's why i wouldn't wear one that's true so it wasn't this what you're ordering it's not i'm so [ __ ] i'm an [ __ ] no it's totally fine give give megan gailey a big round of applause [Music] foreign [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 297,401

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, podcast, khalyla, tgrbly, all things comedy, stand up, bad friends, comedy podcast, tigerbelly clips, bobby lee podcast, trash tuesday, flagrant 2, chrissy chaos, h3, bad friends podcast, bad friends clips, megan gailey, anthony jeselnik, andrew santino, ballgown, just for laughs, comedy central stand up, tonight show, jimmy fallon, The Worst Thing to Say to Your Waxer, laugh factory, stand up comedy, mad tv, opie and anthony, jknews

Id: LmbPf0qptPk

Length: 69min 3sec (4143 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 13 2022