Amos 'N' Andy - Father By Proxy (1955)

well sylvia i'm sorry i can't take you out tonight but like i told you i got to work andy are you sure you didn't make up the story about driving in front of missus cab just so you could take somebody else out oh no the only reason i'm working is to earn enough money to buy you an engagement ring oh forgive me for being suspicious i guess i'm tired i had a hard day at the hospital today they're short of nurses well honey pie he would only go for me and before you know it we're to meet the preacher and settle down to life marinated bliss yeah i'm going to buy you a pretty little home i'm going to buy you a nice little car and i'm going to buy you a lot of nice clothes and then [Music] um available yeah what's in the box oh this is just a doll for amos's little girl avadella oh isn't it darling just like i said someday we're gonna have one of these of our own uh but you uh have spent the money oh that's okay it was uh it's fun giving things to kids yeah and you know it's just too bad you don't have a family of your own well i'm working up to that uh i only need one thing yeah what's that it's a smart dog yeah i know what i got my eye on ain't bad either huh yeah her name is silvia carter she's amazed at the hospital and i actually appreciate your driving the cab for me tonight so reuben i can go out but you're doing me a favorite i can use extra money for an engagement ring for soviet engagement ring oh that's serious huh yeah well i'm glad to hear it son she sounds like a nice girl but andy yeah be careful this time don't do nothing to spoil it we don't worry about not this time well i better be going yeah you better take this and thanks a millionaire yeah see you later okay [Applause] thank you [Applause] oh hello there you're the little cuties [Music] [Music] take me to the mercy hospital and please hurry oh you're gonna have a yes and hey [Music] please hurry don't worry we're making few more time ma'am use every shortcut i know i hope the stock don't know him too [Music] i wasn't going to meet you at the i don't hospital he's stationed in texas i sent him a telegram if he could take him again they didn't get what dog get behind me and push [Music] [Applause] uh no how is that don't worry everything's going to be all right yeah so glad to hear that just a second huh come here may i have your name please my name yes your name oh uh andrew h brown and your address 720 139th street and your occupation right now i'm a cab driver thank you now if you're just waiting the father's room we'll call you thank you very much hey just a second you just can't send me in the car look i'm just a cab driver i already have that information now you'll just please wait in there but you don't understand i understand perfectly i've been on this job eighteen years now you wait in here look at this you making them you must stay in the fathers and we can't have you cutting up the halls but you wait in here well hello there boy am i glad to see you uh what are you hoping for a boy or girl look i'm just a cab driver well i work for the gas company brown andy brown glad to know you well this is my fourth how many do you have i don't have any oh you're first i remember how it was when we were expecting our first baby wondering what it was going to be well what do you want look i want to get out of here yeah i know i know get in here and you say to yourself this isn't possible well it ain't look i picked this guy up in my cab well i met my wife in pony mr johnson congratulations you're the father of a baby girl a baby girl wow even see your wife for just a moment [Music] good luck pal now hold on that nurse everything's going fine we'll let you know yeah but i'm just a cab driver that's not going to be ashamed we've had three like that here this week yeah i know but you you listen now why don't you just sit down never sit down and relax i don't know [Music] but nelson i'm going to give the patient in 214 a sedative you ought to give to a husband he needs it more than she does a nervous one huh the worst will you have a nurse to get it ready for me to assist me i have to do it myself doctor we are short-handed oh we're gonna have a very busy night you better call back one of the nurses that's off duty yes doctor i'll get miss carter thank you feeling drowsy [Music] well don't worry about that hazel feeling the sedative is taking effect you'll be asleep in a minute and when you wake up you'll have your baby is my husband here yes he's waiting outside can i talk to him yes [Laughter] [Laughter] mr [Music] excuse me lady but you got me in a mess you gotta tell them there's been a mistake joe no this is andy joe i'm so glad you got here but i ain't here i mean uh this is andy a father should be here when his first child is born uh but misses that you'll be here won't you joe sure your joe's gonna be here your joe's gonna be here i didn't want to be alone you ain't gonna be alone i'll be here i'll be right outside joe yeah kiss me thank you i'm sorry i had to call you back on duty tonight i hope you didn't have a date no my boyfriend is working and this time i'm sure i hope he turns out better than the last one a married man with a family oh no i can trust this one good oh me andy calvin i'm so glad you got here well now you know my slogan when you're in a mess of trouble called calhoun he come on the devil this is the what mess i ever been in up to through and including madame queen like you give it to me on the telephone you say you drove this woman to the hospital here they ask you your name you give it to him now they think you is the expected father that's the whole thing in a nutshell what is that going to do well now andy a situation like this calls for the most drastic measure you has got to employ the final ultimate and last resort on the advice of me hell gunpoint calhoun you has got to perform the desperate and supreme sacrifice oh what's that you has got to tell the truth that's just what i've been trying to do calhoun but that missile now that won't listen to me she thinks i'm a crazy mixed up father oh well then i'll talk to her she'll listen to me you think so oh yeah she goes i just a crazy mixed up on interesting party now we just gotta straighten this thing out the worst part of it is my gals working right here in the hospital how you think she gonna feel being engaged to me and find out my wife is in here expecting a baby don't worry about a thing andy i'll go out there and straighten that thing up just like that i sure appreciate this calhoun it's my dude andy after all me and you his brothers and that great fraternity and it's up to one brother to help another yeah yeah i demand to speak to somebody in authority here keep your voice down i'm in charge here now what do you want well i'd like to start page 197 paragraph 4 book 3 of the civil code of this city yes and what does it say that's beside the point the thing is you got mr brown in that room against his will oh him the rules of this hospital says the fathers are not allowed to wander around the cardinals they must stay in the waiting room well i demanded jay who are you all relative me and mr brown is brothers your baby's uncle i speak just a minute i'm sorry but the relatives [Music] i think we ought to stand for the kingfish [Music] do you boys mean to tell me that that little woman out there the one that's got you buffaloed oh man yeah but why don't you just go out and explain the facts to her i tried that kingfish it always comes out the same way i ends up the father calhoun you always got a big mouth explaining things why didn't you put her straight well i tried kingfish i talked to her well what happened i ended up as the baby's uncle this is ridiculous i lined this thing out in no time what's he doing calhoun walking up to the desk he's tippity there you talking to her is she talking to you there you go boys shake hands with the baby's grandfather [Music] oh doctor how's mrs brown doing all right won't be long now as a father father now we have the father the uncle and the grandfather in there i'd love something i guess i want to leave me here and i'll meet you down there fine i still don't know how it happened all i said was i want to talk to you about the boy and the first thing i know she think i know papa and the baby's grandfather she can jump at conclusions faster than sapphire once you find a strange hair on my coat you know one thing we got to get out of here yeah before my gal sylvia sees me oh now the whole trouble is we over complicating this thing all we got to do is walk out of here and ain't no law that says we can't yeah come on oh oh what's the matter the road's blocked sylvia's sitting out there i'm cooked well india i guess you is uh come on calhoun holy kingfish you deserting ships ain't leaving this sinking raptor ain't nobody leaving you unless we all leave here when i count three everybody pick up ways of getting out of here one two three four five six boys i think i got it who did it goes in and out of a hospital and nobody don't ask no question who a doctor and that's what we gonna be well how we gonna make them think we doctors we ain't been in no medicine school i am right outside the door there if we could just get some of them away from him are we gonna do that i think i got it baby give me a dime [Applause] hello mercy hospital well give me the second floor desk please now tell him while i talking to the audience you get on out there snatch a handful of them uniforms hello hello uh could i speak to the order that's counting in him right in front of the father's waiting room quarterly there's a phone call for you thank you hello oh hello orderly holy uh would you mind uh looking under the desk and see if i drop my fountain pen just a minute hello i'm sorry but i don't see any pen oh well never mind i'll write with a pencil i've got them keep me come on not me i could not build a doctor like youtube guy because ain't no uniform the pizza just hit your big mouth [Music] [Music] [Music] there you go take that myth over there will doctor i think we will have to examine the patient yeah we may have to operate really live that's a good sign well this looks like a clear case of diffused epidermis of the third and fourth vibrato do you agree doctor you said i'm out for a kingfish miss nelson you come with me we've taken mrs brown to delivery yes doctor that was a close call always clear come on come on andy what you waiting on did you hear what that doctor said what they're taking her to the delivery room oh come on andy the baby's gonna be born pretty quick now and then you've been hollering about getting out of here now let's get getting i can't go and why i don't promise my wife i i mean the that i will stick around she don't want to be left alone you go ahead fellas i'm gonna stick it out come on hello andy calvin why don't you come back here well we've got a right to hang around [Applause] grandfather no why don't you look where you're going there's so lot of traffic here we ought to be hearing something pretty soon shouldn't we yeah look like they would let their grandfather know what's going on yeah and uncle too what you think is gonna be real i kind of hoping for a girl well i hope for a boy well it don't matter what you hope for i'm the father i guess the first hope are you a big dummy why don't you look where you're going well i was here first you placed over [Music] mr brown congratulations to the father of an 8 pound boy boy oh where's my wife what's her name uh miller we have no mrs miller here well you supposed is your name joe yes and did you just get in from texas yeah congratulations you and me just had a eight-pound voice what are we waiting for [Music] thanks so much for staying with me mr brown oh that's okay and i want to thank you too oh it wasn't nothing but the next time we has a baby i want at least 24 hours notice and you take care of that young sales you're going to have to answer to me remember i had the baby's grandfather and i had an uncle and according to section three paragraph four more shallower goodbye bye my calves parked out by the side entrance well so long pop hold on grandpa bye dave good night andy oh sylvia what are you doing here well my cab uh just hanging around waiting for me aren't you sweet oh yeah i'm so glad you're here to take me home they call me back on duty i'm exhausted oh i've been busy huh yeah cheetah with a cute little baby boy a while ago uh that's nice uh andy huh what's your full name andrew h brown that's a coincidence what they named the baby uh andrew h miller yeah that is a coincidence [Music] you

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Id: iMRoXtWA7YQ

Length: 24min 59sec (1499 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 10 2022