Age of Spin : Gay vs Asian || Dave Chappelle

the second time i met o.j simpson [Applause] was right after the trial of the century there i was now a young man of probably 23. o.j simpson was the most famous or infamous face on planet earth i was in a restaurant in beverly hills with my agents i wasn't alone in the restaurant but i was alone i was the only black person in the restaurant and in the 90s that felt very uncomfortable now i tend to enjoy it at this age i was having dinner with my agent celebrating a deal that they told me was lucrative but i later learned [ __ ] sucked and suddenly a group of women walked by every race was in that group black white asian latina white white and white again they were all gorgeous i watched him walk by then i saw a familiar face al collins the man from the infamous bronco check towards the door couldn't believe what i saw and then close behind him was o.j simpson newly released from jail the restaurant fell still i was shocked i didn't mean to say it out loud but it just came out oj he stopped turn around and see who said it saw my black face and correctly assumed it was me [Applause] i was sitting in the corner of the booth he leaned over all the white people i was having dinner with and shook my hand how are you young man he looked in my eyes and i could see in his eyes that he didn't remember meeting me the first time and then he walked away and i looked back at my agents and all of them had nothing short of disgust on their faces and the only one with the courage the voice they discussed was a woman named sharon who used to represent me how could you she said how could you shake hands with that murderer as it sharon with all due respect that murderer ran for over 11 000 yards anyone didn't fit love didn't fit get over yourself some people can't do that some people just can't they can't get over themselves gay people have a hard time doing that recently here we go here comes the deep water now recently i've noticed that i noticed that uh with that manny pacquiao controversy yeah and it was now now in the gay community's defense uh manny pacquiao said some outlandish [ __ ] about gay people very very not nice things i won't repeat but there was biblical verses and some analogies to animals it wasn't a good look nike took his shoes immediately which i thought was a little harsh a little harsh you know what i mean because he's uh just because he's asian you know what i mean [ __ ] gonna take shoes off asian dude to appease a gay dude you know what i mean no you don't know what i mean but asian people kind of know what i mean no no asians in the front no no this is what i mean okay look okay you're asian dude no i don't i say this with no disrespect we're all americans right and we can agree that america has a huge body count all over the world but nowhere more than asia literally if you look at history recently we have bombed the masculinity out of an entire company we dropped two atomic bombs on [ __ ] japan and they've been drawn hello kitty and [ __ ] ever since it's a lot of ladyboys in the wake of our bombs and i know these things because my wife is asian she's filipino all right well okay so that explains it now you know why you see me at all those filipino events i'm out there picking up [ __ ] i'm dropping something off i take my wife to all that [ __ ] i took my wife to see pacquiao fight mayweather we sat ringside okay that yeah that was a quiet car ride home that's what that does but if you know what's popping in the philippines you know that they got a whole generation of kids in the philippines growing up without their mothers yes a lot of women in the philippines go to the arabian peninsula they come to united back home which is still one of the number one staples in the philippines economy money that their expats send back to the philippines the men on the other hand are left rearing children twiddling their thumbs waiting on their wives checks these men have been [ __ ] emasculated and then suddenly a boxer rises from amongst them and reinstates their manhood with his [ __ ] fist this is not the guy you're supposed to ask what do you think of homosexuals he's not your champ [Applause] [ __ ] that's why i don't have a sneaker deal because if you say something that people don't like they'll take your [ __ ] shoes off throw the head they've got the longest mental gap to bridge that's all i'm saying because you know whenever i see one mt's on the street i don't mind them but i'll be like man i miss bruce [Laughter] i'm sorry guys i'm 42. i remember bruce jenner before the kardashians before all that this [ __ ] was a white american superhero it was amazing he was beating africans at track and field we never seen anything like it he was on my cereal box growing up you know how much of that cereal i ate [ __ ] i didn't know he's gonna do that [Applause] i knew before you guys knew i heard things on the street in hollywood you know you should be out see people hey what's up kanye why the long face [Applause] [ __ ] you'll see got two mother-in-laws now and when i heard he was going to do it i was scared i didn't think the public was ready i didn't think the media was ready and you know what i was wrong never seen anything like it welcome to the world caitlyn so long bruce hello somebody called me a [ __ ] in traffic last wednesday it's so long it takes it takes a minute [Applause] my wife's friend stewart told me that my wife has a lot of gay friends stuart stewart's their leader she has a lot of gay friends and i don't like them not because they're gay i'm just judging them on the merits of their character they're just not nice dudes they're [ __ ] rude house guests they're sitting on my couch giggling with my wife eating my [ __ ] macaroons and i come in they act like the party's over hey store what's going on this guy talks to me the way a cat would speak if a cat could talk hi dave stewart what's all the beef man what's going he always wants to have some kind of gay political argument the last one was about a petition in federal court to take the words husband and wife out of the law i said well why would you want those words out the law he said because it discriminates against same-sex couples i was like [ __ ] please save me the semantics just trust me take your chips and get the [ __ ] out of the casino you're by the side talk that over amongst yourselves and whichever one of you is gayer that's the wife no no no stewart didn't like that stewart educates me about this movement you know what i mean i didn't even know [ __ ] about it he told me it's called l b g t q i was like what the [ __ ] is the q does that even make sense q turns out q is like the vowels that [ __ ] is sometimes it's why gay dudes that don't really know that gay you know what i mean like prison [ __ ] you're like what i'm not gay [ __ ] i'm just sucking these dicks to pass the time i'm not g i'm cute i think i think okay again of all those letters the team has the toughest road ahead in fact i think the t should stand for tough if martin luther king had a snickerdoodle we'd still be on the back of the bus they always true the nike exec come up hi martin uh we need you to tone down the talk of civil rights and uh blacks being humans it's it's upsetting our southern distributors but i don't understand i thought that's why i had a sneaker deal in the first place not quite uh really it's a walking shoe and we like the marching but try to understand [ __ ] that [ __ ] you know i get it though i understand why gay people are mad and i empathize you know what i'm just telling you this is the black dude i support your movement but if you want to take some advice from a negro pace yourself these things take a while just because they pass the law doesn't mean they're going to like you brown versus board of education was in 1955 i was shocked is this happening wait a minute is this a time in american history when americans can make a decision for themselves and even though other americans don't understand it they'll support it and let this person live a happy life is this what's happening if it is then good for america that's dave chappelle the america although dave chappelle the black american he was a little jealous i was like how the [ __ ] are transgender people beating black people in the discrimination olympics if the police shot half as many transgenders as they did [ __ ] last year it'd be a [ __ ] war in l.a i know black dudes in brooklyn hard street [ __ ] to wear high heels just feel safe [Applause] transgenders are gangsters i used to do business with the transgender in hollywood man everybody would be scared of her in the boardroom she walk in there newly minted woman high heels purse and then she walked to the head of the conversation staring us off reaching a person pull her old dick out and throw it on the table let's talk business gentlemen [Applause] said it's scary as [ __ ] if your best friend pitched that to you you'd be horrified yo [ __ ] let's go to the hospital and cut our dicks off and make [ __ ] out of them [ __ ] what can we just get matching jackets or tattoos or something sure that's what you want to do so one way to find out wow let's go to the club and trick [ __ ] in the [ __ ] house yeah

Channel: Dave Chappelle

Views: 739,727

Rating: 4.7911162 out of 5

Keywords: dave chappelle, dave chappelle sticks and stones, stand up comedy, dave chappelle stand up, comedy, equanimity, sticks and stones, chappelle, comedian, dave chappelle netflix, Best of Dave Chappelle, Dave Chappelle, The Age of Spin: Dave Chappelle, the age of spin dave chappelle, age of spin dave chappelle, Deep in the Heart of Texas, deep in the heart of texas dave chappelle, Because I’m Dave Chappelle, Age of Spin, Dave Chappelle Age of Spin, OJ Simpson

Id: X0ior04Ik_U

Length: 13min 18sec (798 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 02 2020