5 Ways to Set Boundaries!

one two three breathe in hold it hold it and release namaste hi angels welcome back to my channel welcome to my channel if you are new here yeah still just like in shock mode because like 100k what's happening if you guys do not follow me on Instagram which you totally should that would be right here and also the reason why I mentioned that is because I asked for you guys feedback and input on what you guys would like to see in regards to the merge so we are very close to launching it I did order the samples which is becoming either tomorrow or the day after that and I've received so much feedback already which I will be implementing into the actual launch I'm very involved in this process as I want you guys to be - it means more to me than you guys could ever fathom ever even fathom also did I forget to turn on your post edification so that you guys are notified every single time that I post I actually went live on Instagram and YouTube so that's pretty cool I absolutely loved interacting with you guys and it meant so much to me to hang out with you all it made my day so much better I am feeling very good guys I'm feeling very rejuvenated very very good mentally everything so that's always a plus and you guys are here to watch this video so let's get right into it so we're gonna talk about five ways to set boundaries okay because I get a lot of questions in regards to this and I noticed that based upon all the different stories that I read from you guys in my consults I realize a huge major thing that a lot of people do seem to skip or may not understand is the fact that they lack boundaries and this has happened to myself this has happened to many of us it's not really anything to look down on anyone for but if you know better you're gonna do better okay so this is not really in any particular order but I would soon one way to set boundaries is with your time taking time away from an individual taking time away from whether it be a family member pretty much any sort of dynamic where you feel like you need to regroup and have some solitude what that will enable you to do is it will give you clarity of where the boundaries need to be set because what you allow will always continue I get so many stories of oh my gosh um I did notice this behavior pattern early on in our relationship and I didn't really say anything and so I kind of just felt like you know it wouldn't happen again and the older that I'm becoming I'm really realizing how important communication is even in those moments where you don't feel comfortable mentioning how you feel and this goes for myself too I think that especially when you have come out of a situation where you may have felt like you weren't able to express herself you sort of carry that into your other relationships especially romantically where you sort of shut down in fear of that person's reaction being like the one before and it's sort of a form of protection you know but in essence what it does is when it's not followed meaning when you are not communicating effectively when you're not taking that time out to separate yourself from a toxic dynamic it will always continue so number two I would say is choice power this is huge choice power we all have it what is Oprah Winfrey call it the disease - please you got to stop having the disease - please in every aspect of your life because when you're constantly pleasing other people you tend to put the responsibility on other people whether you're conscious of it or not and what that tells me is someone that's constantly always doing what someone says just because someone said to do it it means that you have no boundaries you lose yourself and you will lose yourself in everything dynamic and individual that you encounter because you don't have any sort of line of demarcation you know of what separates what you will do versus what you wouldn't do what you will accept versus what you wouldn't all of those things so in essence when you blame someone creates an illusion that you're not actively making the choice if there is an undesired outcome I hope I'm making sense because in essence when you're constantly doing what someone else says think of it like this someone said you know go run this errand for me and you knew that you couldn't do it but you did it anyway because you would feel bad if you didn't do it for them you end up late to your next appointment and now you blame the other person saying well I didn't go to the store for you then this woulda never happened or let's say you lost your cellphone or something happen to you while you were running that errand for that other person and now you're blaming that other person because it's like if I never did this for you then I would not have to deal with whatever this undesired outcome you know was but at the end of the day you have the choice power to say hey I would like to or I would love to but I actually can't because I have somewhere to be for this time and running this errand is going to make me late that way you're in control of your decisions and what's happening you don't have to place the blame on anyone else so you need to always choose to respect your boundaries the choice is yours number three respect your intuition you guys already know how I feel about this I am a huge huge advocate of trusting your gut and your intuition because it is usually never wrong and too many times too many instances we ignore our intuition and I think that's honestly a part of you know growing up and just you know life in general because it's only but so many times that you can ignore how you really feel and your con simply putting off the things that are in your heart in every aspect of life before you realize okay yeah let me start paying attention to what it is that I'm feeling especially if you're someone that wants to become aligned with yourself and and centered with yourself and and very self-aware you have to lean into your intuition and your inner voice that is a boundary because if something is telling you don't do something and you feel like you're gonna go and do it anyway because of whatever feelings you're feeling you feel compelled to make this decision because and everybody says you should do it but you don't feel like it's right for you and I can attest to that I remember before I started my journey on this channel I was so lost and I didn't know what I wanted to do anymore I felt like because in my head so many people were telling me that you know everyone wants to do YouTube YouTube is so overly saturated so what's gonna you know help you stand out and everyone has their own idea of how they think you know YouTube is or for anyone's career choice for that matter everyone has their own you know opinion of it but a lot of the times you have to consider the source and a lot of these people are projecting their fears onto you and it's not all the time necessarily coming from a negative place not saying that's you know not come from a negative place because sometimes it does but if that's not always the case you know across the board so you have to be able to trust yourself enough to know that this is what I feel in my heart and this has got to work for me okay and luckily for me I've had you know amazing people you know in my inner circle that were able to steer me you know in the right direction because when you're really lost and you're just really lost in the sauce and super confused it really is difficult to have boundaries because you don't really know where they start or where they end you don't even have an idea of what you would and wouldn't accept because you kind of are always having this inner battle within yourself of I might as well just try anything because I don't really know what I want to do and then if the outcome is undesired it sort of lowers your self-esteem or it's just a lot of blows you know to the ego that you have to take when you're kind of in a a very lost and confused state and I also want to say this as a general rule of thumb everybody is gonna go through a confused and lost state everybody is gonna go through a you know a phase of feeling loss and letting go of what they once knew and you know life as they knew it everybody is going to go through that phase that is one of the things that I call you know life struggles that you cannot skip because it's going to build character there is no great journey there is no great success story without failure not one and I can promise you that so again please always respect your intuition because that's also respecting yourself and acknowledging how you feel because that's important and that matters and the reason why I'm bringing this up also is because this is going to carry on into all of your relationships every single one number four is self-care so aside from you know the physical aspect of it because that does matter and when I see the physical aspect of it I mean like working out sweating those feelings out I have been getting very active lately and I forgot how good it feels to just like run those feelings out to sweat those feelings out and for some reason working out makes me pretty emotional so I'm not currently at the gym doing these things I work out in my house and I also do have a gym in my house too so I can work out in my room or I can work out in my gym it's just very very therapeutic and it really gets rid of those you know emotions and allows you to feel those emotions and the way that I explain working out actually is doing something that you know is good for your body but you're struggling to get through it and you're feeling this inadequacy sometimes of I cannot do this like I can't do that one more rep or I cannot run that extra minute I cannot run that extra mile and in retrospect when you look at it I believe that I believe that it corresponds to life in the sense where you're gonna go through so many different times in your life where you're going to feel like you cannot do something but you know that there's a desired outcome and that there's going to be certain things that you will have to do certain things and experiences that you will have to endure in order to get to where you need to go do what you need to do so you could do what you want to do and that's how I kind of view it so when it comes to self-care not only is that treating your body with respect honoring your body which is respect but when you realize that you took the time out to really invest that into yourself and you took the time out to really put those workouts in and eat healthy you're naturally going to be way less tolerant of certain things because you know how hard you worked for that one goal which in essence makes you feel like you can conquer so much more do you need solitude that's a part of self-care acknowledging the fact that you know what I'm very overly stimulated you know this week today I need to take a break and it happens to all of us it happens to me all the time honestly and I respect myself and before I would fight against that and think oh no like I and then I would just get more angry and frustrated and now I'm like you know what today I don't feel like doing anything lay in my bed like and I acknowledge that you know I I can't be like an everyday thing but there are certain times in life where you just have to respect what it is that your body's feeling I posted the other day on Instagram and it said if you don't learn to take a break your body will choose a day for you and I was like oh like that's so true your body is going to take that day on its own if you don't slow it down and you don't take time to take inventory and just reflect and just breathe okay it's so important breathing itself is so important I it's very important like just breathing you know just do with me one two three breathe in hold it hold it and release namaste hi guys laughs Lee is number five seek professional therapy yes there's absolutely nothing wrong with seeking professional therapy that is also going to help you implement boundaries that are tailored to your life as well you know it's going to help you differentiate rationale verse irrational thoughts and in essence will make you a healthier individual mentally and it will also allow you to deal with all the situations that you encounter in your life in a healthier manner they say that all the people that go to therapy are going for the people that refuse to go and I am a huge mental health advocate I don't know if you guys know this but I am certified in mental health and it's very important that the stigma behind seeking professional therapy is removed which I personally believe it kind of is because if you don't have your mind you don't have anything and it doesn't matter how much money you have I mean I'm being so serious your mind and your mental health is actually more important than I would even say finances are because if you don't have your mind how are you going to be able to achieve any sort of success rationally any sort of greatness how are you going to be able to nurture your body yourself and your your interpersonal relationships how are you going to be able to do that and fulfill the you know your role in society if you're not healthy mentally you just can't so I personally think you know that you guys should definitely talk to somebody everybody needs to talk to somebody because no man is an island and you cannot hold everything in let's say you're the type of person you feel like I don't want to tell everyone my problems well that tells me that you're extremely guarded and that you have no one around you that you can trust or that you are having an irrational thought and you feel like there is no one around you that you can trust and feelings are not always you know that reliable sometimes and this goes this is not intuition I'm talking about I'm talking about just irrational and negative feelings of no one likes me no one trusts me I trust no one things like that are not rational feelings and they're not positive things to constantly ingrain your brain with so when you're talking to a therapist and a professional therapist they will help you deal with all of your dynamics in a healthier way and we all need people in life that are going to be more compassionate and more educated even in regards to mental health because it will affect every aspect of your life we need more people that are going to communicate better we need more people that are going to be okay with being vulnerable in certain situations we need more people that are going to heal from their past traumas we need more people like that so be one of those people be one of those people there's absolutely nothing wrong with that so my beautiful angels that's is the end of this video I hope you guys have enjoyed let me know what you guys want to see next in the comments section below thank you guys so much for hang out with me as you already know that I love you and God loves you and I'll see you guys in my next video

Channel: Asha Christina

Views: 46,993

Rating: 4.9543018 out of 5

Keywords: level up, relationships, relationship advice, advice, beauty, Shallon Lester, dating guru, Matthew Hussey, sheraseven1, Bella barz, asha c, asha cee, dating, dating advice, school of affluence, Anna bey, pink pill, the red pill, red pill, the pink pill, millennial dating, teen dating, leveling up, classy, style, sophistication, Carli bybel, toke makinwa, breeny lee, Isabel palacios, hailey gamba, mindful attraction 2.0, Chloe_, quality queen, quality queen control, QQC

Id: _G2dv5STB6A

Length: 17min 37sec (1057 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 04 2019