Harsh Truths: ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME? feat. Klaiyi Hair

hello angels welcome back to my channel for those of you that are new here hi my name is Asha very nice to meet you welcome to the 18 I call all of you guys my angels because I just genuinely feel like you guys have saved my life and you guys have been there for me and you guys are there for me on a consistent basis all the time Before we jump into this topic okay I just want to give a shout out to this amazing company okay kawaii hair guys I have literally been wearing their hair for over a month now and I've had three different hairstyles including one that looks just like this and this actually was done today fresh air by Mark Anthony of course and the hair has still kept its integrity and everything and as you angels know if you know me you know that I love a good ponytail okay this is such an easy style to maintain and Mark is incredible my hairstylist he really made it look very very flawless and the hairline looks slamming okay banging so be sure to check my description box so that you guys can purchase his hair and slay this look just like me to be specific this is actually a whole wig actually now it's a full lace front wig and and the bundles were added to the ponytail of the hair and I actually do like this style even better than I did the first time that I did a ponytail because the first time it was a frontal ponytail and my hair was out this time none of my hair is out and it's the same exact look but all of my hair is protected and covered which I absolutely love so that is the view you got the little you know neck hair situation happening okay guys I'm pretty much gonna be wearing ponytails all summer 2019 before you move any further you guys know the drill by now for all my newcomers follow me on Instagram and that will be right here of course and also do not forget to subscribe to this channel if you have not already and turn on your post notifications but you're notified every single time that I post ok now let's jump right into this video ladies angels as you can see from the title yes I have my notebook here where I write all my video treatments this video is going to talk about the harsh truths are you wasting your time pay very close attention to the things that I'm discussing I know my last video I said that that might hurt some feelings this very well might hurt some feelings too but nonetheless I just want to help you ladies that's all a lot of the times I get questions am I wasting my time what should I do all of these things and I understand that no matter how much were in a situation it's always better sometimes to hear an outsider's say what we already know right or what we already feel so a lot of the times we are in instances or we have been in instances where a guy will come back into our lives after ghosting us or after we left them and they come back and we tell ourselves hmm he probably wants me back because he's he came back around all of these things no sweetie he's just bored right if the door is open they're gonna walk through it's not science what did he do text you babe it's a text texts are minimal effort I said this in another video stop giving guys credit and praising them for simple things that they do for showing simple acts of respect and kindness I'm not going to reward you and congratulate you on something that you should already be doing right and quite frankly if you messed up the first time why am i what reason are you coming back around because you already first chance all he's trying to do is add you back into the rotation he came back to stop by to check in to see if your brain is still where it needs to be right and your job is to make sure that you show him that it is yeah I actually am thinking with my common sense yes I am actually thinking with logic now you're not you know doing your rounds checking in to see if I'm gonna jump right on the train again another harsh truth ladies be I'm busy excuse let me play something okay men make time for what they want to make time for he's not busy he's disinterested he's putting you on a shelf so he can pick you back up again at his convenience but why does he do that Asia that doesn't make sense why bother if he doesn't want me well it's because they don't want to make you lose hope by showing that they are completely disinterested right they're not gonna tell you listen busy with the other chick right now busy chasing some other girls don't want to talk to you they're gonna keep that little glimpse of hope alive busy because then it's gonna tell you in your head well he said he's really busy so I guess when he has time he will you know hit me up wherever the case is no it doesn't work like that with men if they wanted to they would period another harsh truth he's fake jealous this is hitting home for someone isn't it you think that because he acts a little possessive over you to your friends or asked you why you were talking to that guy that shows that wow he really must care about me because I mean if he didn't then why would he even bring it up why is he acting a little possessive if he didn't care at all I was reading something from one of my favorite authors who wrote the book hoe tactics gl Lambert and he said and I quote this you don't have to mean anything to a guy for him to want to control you rewind that and listen again control does not mean love possessiveness does not mean love or let alone like listen guys will flatter you with attention who you to death act territorial around you act territorial over you around his friends here and there and all this does is stroke your ego and make you think wow he really does like me I mean he was totally hugging me in front of his friend and he was having me sit closer to him was kissing me and showing me affection and why would he do that in front of his friend if he didn't really like me meanwhile let you do that let you start acting possessive a little jealous and you're gonna be the annoying girl that he doesn't want to be around anymore now how does that work right guys don't want to be claims initially especially if they really don't want to be in a relationship with you and they get to act possessive over you that's not your man you're not his girlfriend but if you did the same thing showing that possessiveness of why did you like this girl's photo or continue eight that that's your man per se in his head he's gonna be like what no I'm not um where remember a guy pretending to be jealous doesn't mean anything men like to divide and conquer I mean literally next we have my most biggest pet peeve with some guys the let's see where it goes I have no expectations guy right here's the horse truth about that guy's will run along with the narrative of you know I don't really have any expectations because I don't want to be disappointed yawn cuz I'm laughing at you because you're lying and you think I'm falling for this we keep going right whatever you sleep at night this is just a ploy to keep you wishing on a hope they don't want to shut down the door because they know guys know if they were to say sometimes listen I don't want anything serious I just want to be friends but still get the benefits more than likely a woman hearing that is going to say not really interested that's why a lot of the times us as women we think why couldn't he just tell me the truth I mean I literally don't understand different girls for different people yeah there are girls that would accept those terms and their girls that wouldn't a lot of the times guys know that majority of women are not going to accept those terms it's just not what we want no girl wants to just be used all day for her body and be a girlfriend to someone knowingly that she isn't committed to so what do they have to do instead you know let's just see where it goes because that's going to tell you in your brain okay there's still a chance there's hope he wants to see where it goes let me be on my best behavior so I make sure that I see to it that this is gonna go my way no babe it does not work like that don't wait around for men like this and be a placeholder and it picked me those are the only two options that you can be Bob the Builder whatever you want to call it every chick but the girlfriend chick is the category that you will fall into if you chill and hang out with the guy that wants to see where it's going don't wait around trying to settle for a man that you were crying over stressing over you've literally been with this person off and on up and down for god knows how long I don't care if it's a month it's too much and you're doing all of this because you don't want to look for something better meanwhile he is always on the prowl to listen to me babe what that man won't do another one we'll guys don't forget this concept it's so natural to them it's not even an actual thought you have to remind yourself okay well if you're not going to do it somebody else will somebody else is going to treat me the exact way that I deserve to be treated I don't really need to settle for this quality Queen mentality be careful avoid honestly leave the let's see where it goes type of guys because all they're looking to do is one or two things replace you or train you they're gonna replace you with the actual girl that they want to be with by time they actually want to do something with someone and actually put an effort or they're going to train you to stay in your lane and do whatever they say pick you up put you down at their own convenience have you crying and crawling on your knees to be with them who wants that come on sweetie and honestly in the end even if you got the relationship look at what you had to sacrifice your youth your time your body your common sense and your dignity to beg for a man and be the last woman standing I don't know how much more pathetic it gets than that I really just don't get it I don't I've got nothing respect yourself because he's not harsh truth number four you're gathering evidence to leave when you're not even with him listen I've been guilty of this myself where I'm trying to search for reasons to leave this person and I'm not even with him and I'm just like hold on rewind Asia what are you doing sweetie what are you doing just leaving that's not your boyfriend you know do it it's not it's not ladies we must do better let's be honest this guy doesn't owe you an explanation technically for why he's messing with pick me patty one more chance Wanda chasing him around endlessly Charlene like these those are examples of girls that will lose they will always lose I'm sorry don't be any of those because at the end of the day let's be honest it's not even about sometimes looking for the reasons to leave it's more about searching for reasons to stay how does Lady Gaga's song go you're giving me a million reasons but she just needs one good one to say no you give me a million reasons you give me one reason to leave and I'm leaving you I think that's really just it you're not my husband you're not my boyfriend I'm leaving I don't have the tolerance I just don't I don't guys do the most effortless things and we give them extraordinary credit for it oh my god he texted me oh my gosh he hasn't spoken to me in a week and a half but he told me he was busy and he finally texted me again oh he's so amazing he's so what let's let our mouths match our actions because really guys understand that we have a cognitive dissonance for some reason between what we say and what we do as women we have the power to leave no one is forcing you to say I think the most harsh truth to accept in a situation like that is we don't want to be proven right that holy crap I wasted my time with this person they really don't care I think that's really where it stems from we don't want to prove ourselves right and we are thinking to ourselves okay I haven't spoken to him in a while and he hasn't even reached out to me but maybe if I keep that line of communication open between us I can kind of tell myself that okay he's still responding so he does care men don't think like that girls stop you know guys know that we as women tend to hide our feelings sometimes because who wants to really be vulnerable and they know that while they're playing games with you that you're still choosing to stick around but on a consistent basis a lot of us are letting men hijack our common sense and I'm gonna tell you why you feel like that in one simple word sex hmm because if you didn't do that you wouldn't really have that strong of an emotional connection to him because you didn't invest anything the only time you're going to feel extremely short changed and really angry is when you give that up because in a way you are relinquishing your power you're giving something special to you to someone else and to find out that this person didn't deserve that and to find out that you potentially wasted your time it's not an easy pill to swallow so what do you start doing fixing it making it work because oh no that's it not just happen to me I am not that girl it's okay if you were that girl just don't be or moving forward don't make it work when it's not going to work when it hasn't works case closed at the end of the day babe you were not helpless let go move on and yes it's easier said than done and a lot of girls asked me well how do you even do it there really is no other way to do it other than to do it and I think also I know this is gonna sound really strange but even if you were to take on another persona right just to get you through those motions you will eventually start believing it think about it if you were to tell yourself okay I'm gonna be create an alter ego name for yourself I'm gonna be Ashley right Ashley doesn't care about anything Ashley wouldn't take that from a man become Ashley turn her on become Ashley and create that sort of separation so that you don't keep on falling prey to these types of circumstances and eventually and you shouldn't and eventually you really won't you will actually start identifying with Ashley and you won't continue to make those mistakes you should not be repeating your mistakes over and over again anyways that means that you're not learning I think the biggest mistake that we make is that we entertain men after we've already figured out their game guilty but really the reality is that men will always go through an open door yeah and the last harsh truth that I'm going to discuss to differentiate whether or not you're wasting your time is the let's take things slow guy sweetie having sex with a man who says he wants to take things slow is actually going nowhere fast you were beelining nowhere fast please understand that concept how is it that a guy wants to take things slow but yet he's reaping the benefits of a girlfriend when you're not his girlfriend what's going on here let me know let me know let me help you I don't know how many times or languages I can say this but it doesn't mean anything I got a drill this and you guys heads I have to drive this point home sex does not mean the same to men as it means to women it will never mean the same thing play the game or get played you know you can't be convenient click and then play victim on top of that oh I don't understand why this keeps happening to me men are this way men are that way take responsibility the only way to learn and to grow right is to go through something so yeah all men can be this all men can be that but what are you doing to change the narrative to shift the narrative for yourself that's the real question right because they're doing their job they're just being guys really if you think about it and a lot of the times guys are not even wronging us it's just our naivety that's really what it is and it took me all this time to finally realize that this one guy that I was talking to before he said to me that it was my naivety that prohibited any form of a progression of a relationship between us and I remembered that verbatim because at the time I was just so resentful of him because I really felt betrayed by what he did and now that I realized more and so much has changed up until this very point he was right in the end it was my naivety right that prohibited any form of a progression and he worded it so well because really progression to what right where were we actually heading he wasn't trying to head anywhere real he was just saying escalating to get I guess certain benefits whatever that may be in his eyes but he basically was trying to tell me without saying it is that you don't really understand the game here you don't really understand what it is that I'm doing and that is preventing us from kind of moving the way that I want it to move that's really kind of what he was saying I say out of all the people that I dated I don't know if it's because I'm older now but he taught me the most I completely and thoroughly understood everything all of a sudden right and not even just with him I mean in general with guys and how they think so in retrospect I can't even actually hate this person because he doesn't realize that he taught me so much so much without even actually trying you know the point is don't play victim because it's so easy to look at guys and say oh my gosh they're wronging us they're doing all of these things I'm not saying that sometimes they are not but majority of the time they're just doing what they normally do it is our job to recognize the game to not fool ourselves and talk ourselves out of common sense to look at actions and to think logically it is very difficult because it's innate to us to think emotionally but you have to do it or you will recycle the same behaviors and patterns all the time you know let's not justifying and searching for reasons why we think that a guy really wants us when in reality we all know when a guy really actually wants us it's an inexplicable feeling almost it doesn't feel like a cat-and-mouse game where does like me I mean I can't tell did you mean it when you said this and this person is talking about how you guys have an amazing time together and you are so fun and you're fabulous and you guys have all this great chemistry well that's good for you because that doesn't mean anything to me and it shouldn't anything to you either because chemistry can honestly be with I don't want to say anyone but it can be with multiple people you can have chemistry with a lot of people and it doesn't even have to be romantic chemistry it could be just as friends you guys have chemistry as friends right there's going to be many people in your life that you meet that you connect with and that you have chemistry with but what does that actually mean the word play you have to be really intelligent to catch on to the word play that guy's use its a lot of nothing a lot of the time I find that if we are searching for whether or not something is there you already lost me I don't want to have to question anything you should not have to question anything is there something there yeah you know what's there your common sense in his hands because it's not in your brain that's what's there keep your dignity understand what's happening and progress from that and actually progress from that no more justifying why these guys are doing what they're doing no more it ends listen babe summer is around the corner do not fall in love with that man I saw this on Instagram it was great if that do not fall in love with that man he doesn't love you in fact he barely even likes you and I know that's such a hard concept to grasp but what do I always say men compartmentalize they can like you a little bit love the next chick like the the other chicks body and be with all three of you for all different reasons and not even think twice when he's with either of you about the other girl it's just how they're wired and you're probably asking yourself if you're someone that's in a situation ship I don't understand why he's even with the other girl what is he seeing her convenience comfort he can predict all of her moves this is not a strong girl I mean strong girls quality queens don't do things like that what she's doing don't become her that's that's the best thing you can do is to not become her don't try to out win her in the race because she will always be there and I need to say it she's pathetic pick Me's are pathetic and it's okay we've all probably been pathetic at some point in our lives just don't keep doing it right when you truly understand your power and your value this is using it probably abused and sounds so cliche but it really is an inexplicable feeling you will leave whoever treats you subpar because you know that you don't need to put up with that because what one won't one will always so if this guy doesn't think you're special and he's treating you like you're basic who cares what he thinks I mean honestly he has bad judgment anyway clearly has bad taste he's not with you duh start over don't repeat your mistakes don't play victim the only closure that you need to know is that he's not the one it's really that simple I mean you will move through people so much faster when you start filtering these things out I mean it's innate to me now where I filter things out and I'm like okay I know what that is answer it you know I know how to approach the situation deal with it accordingly and all in all who even wants someone that doesn't even want you who wants a guy that they have to always feel like they're working to get their attention working to get clarity and some sort of answer to figure out how this guy feels I don't care how you feel because I already know that the second I find myself questioning your feelings I'm in the wrong place it is as basic is that clear cut so don't sell yourself short anymore understand that these harsh truths are harsh for a reason but they are here to help you we are not about victimization here on this channel at all and it's okay if you make mistakes what's not okay is repeating your mistakes okay so my beautiful angels thank you so much for watching this video I know that it is a bit lengthy I mean I haven't uploaded a lengthy video in a while and also again do not forget to check my description box that you guys the details about this hair and with that being said I love you and God loves him [Music]

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Views: 81,213

Rating: 4.9589663 out of 5

Keywords: level up, relationships, relationship advice, advice, beauty, sheraseven1, school of affuence, anna bey, asha c, matthew Hussey, shallon lester, the truth, reality, relationship guru, advice guru, dating consultant, dating consulting, waste his time, waste his time 2019, pick me, pickmesha, bob the builder, feminity, tradditonal feminism

Id: UyE0G5GVSe4

Length: 28min 52sec (1732 seconds)

Published: Fri May 03 2019