Manipulative Men & How to Spot One!

you're so insecure and you always do this honey I'm always doing this because you're always being an idiot how about that [Music] angels welcome to my channel welcome back to my channel for all my returning subscribers um yeah a new backdrop are we liking it are we feeling it new hair how are we feeling about that situation just new to new honey okay I feel like a total youtuber now because they have like my blurred background and I got my new camera which if you follow me on Instagram which you totally should it'll be right here you would know that I did purchase a new camera this is a Sony X 6400 absolutely in love with it so as you guys see from this title we are going to talk about manipulative men so I did do some research on this topic I will link the websites that I got my research from and additionally the tips that I will be giving and just a lot of the things that I will be discussing can honestly pertain to any sort of individual but of course for the sake of this video I'm going to relate it to men and relationships also before we dive right in do not forget to subscribe to this channel we have a goal of a hundred K and we are so close I've been like literally going crazy trying to figure out my merch stuff and I know that I'm on such a tight time constraint and at the same time I really want to produce really good quality for you guys so all that stuff is still in the works with that being said let's get into this video so let's start out with the definition of manipulation so manipulation is according to Google skillfully handling or controlling we're using something or someone the person knows how to twist words you know twists your emotions alter your emotions and manage the situation to get their desired outcome so I'm sure that there are plenty of people in life who have experienced people like this it may not have been in a relationship but you've experienced someone that was like this so it's important to identify the targets what type of people attract manipulative people the types of people that manipulate men sort of target or prey our low self-esteem sally's no boundaries Becca pick me patties and desperate Debra's what are ways that you can be manipulated how do you know if you're being manipulated well for one if you feel like you are constantly being criticized and your partner constantly makes you feel inadequate you are being manipulated if you get into an argument and he's giving you the silent treatment you are being manipulated what happens when someone gives you the silent treatment you go stir-crazy you start thinking of every different scenario and you start making assumptions because there's no discussion there's no dialogue that is happening that can reassure or bring clarity to your thoughts that is actually a huge huge huge form of manipulation the silent treatment and guys really do this a lot even one it's something as simple as you know ghosting you that's a form of manipulation sometimes because it sort of trains you to not get used to hearing from him certain times you always having to reach out to see how he's doing and check in with him to see if he remembers the date that he's set for you manipulation using their you know profession or their education to delay you you know finding out the truth or making you feel like they are always the one that is right what do I mean by this so let's say you get into an argument with someone and let's say for instance you're dating a lawyer lawyers are the best Liars even though I love them I'm a lawyer I've been a lawyer for X amount of years and I know what I'm talking about and you know what typically people that do what you just did are not to be trusted and xx necks they sort of use their you know title to reign over you and make it seem like they are the ones that's right and essentially what happens is you cower down and you sort of silently agree to what it is that they're saying because well they probably do know what they're talking about because that is what they do and they do know when people lie and they they do know body language and xx next I don't think so manipulation demonizing your reactions oh yeah major one just saying why because here's why anytime someone that's manipulating you doesn't want you to express yourself or wants to control the situation because that's what they want to do they're going to make you feel like you're the bad one for reacting the way that you did to whatever the situation was okay they're gonna flip the script on you because you don't agree with their inappropriate actions what do I mean by that hey babe I was just wondering why you you know like this girl's picture on Instagram I kind of thought that we like agreed that kind of doing the social media stuff is not something that we were going to do because it kind of makes me feel a little like embarrassed that my boyfriend is liking girls photos and commenting saying I'd love to tap that on Instagram it just makes me feel like a little insecure and it just embarrasses me because you are my boyfriend and here he goes you are so insecure like it's just Instagram I can't believe that you're seriously talking to me about a comment I wrote to a girl first of all I don't even know her see it'll be one thing if I actually knew her I don't even know her and she looks nice look she has mad guys commenting on her photos like why do you care like obviously I'm with you I'm your boyfriend demonizing you making you feel like the way that you feel is not accounted for the way you feel isn't validated because well he doesn't know that girl and who's to say that he's not trying to get to know that girl hello Ryan pity Oh major he pity yes one of the greatest forms of manipulation is using pity because getting pity out of anyone essentially is going to guilt your people so they feel bad for you and they're more likely to do what you say and hear you out and let whatever nonsense you want slip right on by because well they feel bad for you what do I mean by that I just kind of feel like when we were at you know they get together that you weren't really hanging out with me at all you were just kind of like doing your own thing and like I don't know everybody there and I kind of felt a little alone and I understand that you know everybody but I just didn't really feel included babe I'm really sorry that you know you didn't feel included but what do you expect me to do like these are all the people that like I grew up around and like I'm sorry that I wasn't holding your hand the entire time like I did introduce you to some people like like you know I wouldn't do that to you like you know I'm not like that it's just that I got caught up like like I'm sorry like plus I've seen like one of my homegirls from high school and I don't know like we just started talking like like come on like if you like come on like if you really know me like you know like I wouldn't do something like that like come on like I'm not like that like kind of playing on your emotions so that you're so that you think they're hoping that you're gonna think okay well I do know him I mean I don't think anyone normally would kind of invite me somewhere and then literally drop me off and not even associate with me at all and leave me alone so I kind of feel bad now for kind of yelling at him because I guess it does get overwhelming when you're hanging out with like a ton of people you haven't seen in a long time and you just literally leave me - no sweetie if you're if you're bothered by the fact that you left you alone I'm pretty much guaranteeing that he left you alone for so long that it became uncomfortable obviously we're all adults here it's not a big deal if he's going to leave you alone for couple minutes maybe you know to go say hi to someone but he should be introducing you to them you guys are in a relationship and the reason why you're feeling the way that you're feeling is because something felt wrong so what actually ties into that is also plain ignorant okay minimizing their actions so that you stick around nothing they ever do is a big deal let you do it let you do it I can't believe you would do something like that what do you mean you do dumb things all the time you can dish it out but you can't take it back okay people that always want to downplay what it is that they're doing so that you kind of feel stupid and you kind of feel like you're overreacting on what the offense was you know what do I mean by that this is a scenario let's say you were going to surprise him and leave something cute like in his mailbox or whatever the case is you drive by his house you see another car parked in the driveway hold on skirt skirt what's happening here you are just in your head thinking there's no like there's no way like that has to be one of his like guy friend's car so so you drive by his house and you see a car parked in the driveway you were gonna do a little you know surprise hi babe how are you I'm here like what's up and you get out the car because you don't know whose car this is and this is your man's house what's good and you knocked on the door knock knock knock who's there and he wants to open the door halfway talking about Oh what do you what are you doing here like what am I doing here checking in are you L just seeing how you're doing um I noticed there's an extra car and then your driveway and it's not mine so why are you not letting me in oh um it's just one of my one of my home girls from high school like we haven't talked in a long time and like she just wanted to stop by and like you know and like just like ketchup so why is your friend in your house alone you didn't think to kind of mention that to me like I've never seen this girl in my life never knew this was one of your homegirls this is all new news to me like why am I just finding out about this yo um yo calm down like you're just like right now you're just being like a little extra like we're literally just friends like she just stopped by like to say hi like don't even think to mention anything to you because it's not even like that oh right because if it was like that you would just freely tell me I get it no he's literally playing ignorant cuz he wants you to feel like me I would be this bold cheating on you in broad daylight when I know you can come and visit my house yes I actually do think that you would do something like that you idiots okay because guys do things all the time what is the best way to hide something in plain eyesight that is the best way to hide something because it's so unfathomable it's like there's no way that could be happening and that's how guys get you because they do bold and brazen things and then they convince you or they unconvince you that what you saw wasn't true and what you saw couldn't be what you possibly think it is because why would he do anything like that he would have to be a real idiot to do something like that's you know you're just sorry that you got caught okay he wants to minimize his actions and play ignorant like like he has no idea what this could be you're tripping they're just friends yes cuz let one of my guy friends come over and you drive by my house and I'm not letting you in my house because one of my guy friends is inside and the conversation we're having is just so important that you can't be a part of it stop let's talk about making rude or let's say mean remarks and disguising it in the name of humor so this is really important why because it sort of stores in your subconscious and whenever you guys are in an argument or let's say you're in a situation where you feel like intimidated you're someone that's easily intimidated by other beautiful girls whatever the situation may be what he says now becomes your inner voice so now the joke he made about how big your nose is you're thinking about that because he's talking to the waitress and it seems like he's flirting with her and she has a nose that you actually like or he always makes fun of your bottom crooked tooth and you're very self-conscious about that and you know that girl over there has you know straight teeth you know it's very important that you pay attention to things like that in relationships and in friendships because there is always some sort of truth to those little sly remarks there's always some sort of underlying truth where someone is constantly attacking your physical appearance or playing on your weaknesses because they know that it's going to get to you inevitably but to remove any responsibility or accountability for what they say they make it seem like it's a joke no manipulation another way you know that you're being manipulated is let's say that something happened and you kind of are bracing yourself to bring it up and your boyfriend is acting unapproachable so now you on top of feeling nervous about bringing up whatever it is that you want to mention you are you feel uncomfortable now because he's acting just weird and and distant and you don't know if it's a good time because you don't want him to be upset at you for what he offended you by and you just don't know how to approach the situation or if you even should at this point because well he's already acting upset Oh manipulation because here's why if somebody is already acting unapproachable when they know exactly what it is that took place that offended you the easiest way to get you off their back and to kind of roll over that situation and ignore it is to make it seem like you can't say anything at all now I'm sure this happens to a lot of us right think about a situation ladies where you have been talking to a guy and something has offended you but there's like this sort of unspoken you know energy where he sort of makes you feel like you can't bring up exactly what it is that you want to say because if you do you'll be crazy if you do you'll be annoying if you do you'll be insecure if you do they'll stop talking to you they'll give you the silent treatment those are manipulation tactics if you don't feel comfortable enough to have dialogue and be able to express yourself and how you feel okay with someone that you were with then we have a problem and it's not in Houston and of course lastly honestly last but not even lise lying and gas lighting and these really essentially go hand-in-hand what gas lighting does is it makes you sort of go you know stir-crazy something will happen a situation will occur and this guy will literally try to tell you that you're overreacting or it wasn't what you thought it was and you're so insecure and you always do this honey I'm always doing this because you're always being an idiot how about that how about it I'm just saying because this is where things get dangerous okay where you ignore the things and you let someone dictate to you how to feel about how they offended you how does that work what is happening here stop understand this manipulators do these things because they want you to doubt yourself they want to make it easy for them to manipulate and alter your perception your intuition of any events that occurs this way anything they say you will believe even against your own self they are single-handedly isolating you from yourself trusting you and betraying yourself essentially so that they can fill in every gap every crevice so that you won't ever feel comfortable questioning anything that they do and you will just sit in your head right because that's what all people manipulative situations do you sit in your head and you go back and forth between what happened versus what you think happened versus what really happened versus what he said happened mmm whoa next thing you know you were just frazzled and you don't know what to believe you can no longer differentiate the truth and respect your feelings versus what this person is saying ouch and essentially by them manipulating your mind it enables them to stay the same they do not need to change their behavior they don't have to take responsibility for anything you get offended by and because you believe they're you know opinions and their thoughts over anyone else you never trust yourself nor do you reach out for other people's opinions because well why would you need it if you're always wrong and he's always right we have to understand your basic rights okay you have the rights to be treated with respect you have to first of all identify that you are capable of being treated with respect you deserve to be treated with respect you have the right to disagree and say no without feeling guilty for that you have the right to express your feelings without walking on eggshells so you have to ask yourself in your relationship am i being respected does this relationship make me feel good do I feel like I can express myself freely without feeling like I have to really be meticulous and alter how I'm bringing this offense to his knowledge because I don't know what's gonna happen I don't know how he's gonna react do I feel like there is reciprocity am i giving that's what this means am i giving and getting equally is there reciprocity and you know a lot of the times you know even in my consult I see a lot of girls you know expressed to me I always attract relationships like this where guys are always taking advantage of me and I want to do better and it's just like the way that they speak of themselves is just so sorry like they're just so sorry and I could tell that in how they speak that they have been just so emotionally you know destroyed and just beaten down to where they speak with such little confidence that their self talk to themselves is so negative and they accept and tolerate so much nonsense because partially they believe that well that's the best that I can do when you accept someone that manipulates you in all the areas that I've mentioned it boils down to the psychology of you feeling hungry for attention and also adoration because you may have not received it growing up and this person that you're with makes you feel seen right we like to be around people that make us feel like we can be our true authentic self no matter how weird or quirky that may be when a person lets us be whoever we are and we don't feel like we have to hide behind any sort of masks or they are accepting of a version of ourselves that we don't show to anyone else then you sort of feel like you owe them something in return thank you for letting me be and you feel like you want to constantly show your gratitude for them sticking around and accepting you as you are despite your reservations because a lot of the times you guys don't realize that one it's a big step that some of you reach out to me in the beginning because you know that something's wrong but also if things were right you wouldn't be reaching out to me I will just probably be just a form of entertainment for you which that's fine too but a lot of you that reach out to me that have these issues and these problems when it comes to any form of abuse the line is drawn you got to leave and it's way easier said than done of course but the only way out is just through you got to do what you got to do do what you have to do so you can do what you want to do that's one of my favorite quotes and if you are tired of feeling manipulated and less than and but you're telling me that you're so attached to this person and you you can't do better and you want to leave him but you can't look at how you're talking to yourself you're constantly reassuring yourself of whatever it is that you just said if you say you can't you can't if you think it's not gonna get better than him it won't and that will enable you to continue down the path that you're on and not take action it's Awards letting him go so you avoid manipulative men people by saying no okay no is your boundary if something makes you uncomfortable you express that pay attention to people around you men around you relationships that you're in where you don't feel comfortable to simply say no I don't like what you just said I don't feel like I need to show how much I love you by running to the store 12:00 midnight and getting you your favorite you know cookie mix because otherwise I really don't love you I don't feel like I should accept the fact that you want to date so many people while still having me because well I just know how you are but it doesn't mean that you don't care about me no I don't accept that and then the ultimatum now becomes either they rise to the occasion like I always say or you leave because they're not willing to change and you have to understand when you were in a situation where things will not change your only choice is to walk away you have to understand that so with that being said thank you so much for hanging out with me today I'm absolutely obsessed with this background guys like oh so it's like it's just like a youtuber thing where you always kind of want that blurred background it just oh and it just makes me feel like that girls my beautiful angels do not forget that I love you and God loves you and I'll see you guys in my next video [Music]

Channel: Asha Christina

Views: 77,046

Rating: 4.9478645 out of 5

Keywords: Manipulative, Manipulation, asha c, Hailey gamba, shallon lester, dating, dating guru, Anna bey, school of affluence, love, toxic relationships, boundaries, setting boundaries, healthy relationships, the find guru

Id: CA8fe-VQoyc

Length: 26min 1sec (1561 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 04 2019