3 Confident Female Mindsets That Drive Guys Wild... (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

hey guys it's Matthew Hussey here I put together a video for you of Q&A material from my get the guy tour as many of you know I'm doing at all right now across the states we're doing 10 cities I wanted to get you something that you could watch whether or not you can come to the tour I know many of you have booked tickets but I know some of you you haven't been able to do it this time around I have a little Q&A session that's going to provide you some value and some stuff that you can use even if you're just sitting at home and you can't come and see me live and if you haven't made that decision yet hopefully watching this will help you make that decision as well because you're going to see that it's dynamic and it's fun and we're giving away so much great value here so thank you guys this is just me trying to over-deliver for you and give you something extra and I know that if you are coming to the tour you're not going to regret it it really is a special thing and I'm really excited so thank you guys I will see you real soon I hope you enjoy the video to your questions I would love to hear what you want to know yes right so you've got a guy who's blowing hot and cold hot and cold he invests and then as soon as you invest back he goes cold again here's my philosophy because I know so many women who they get a guy for an hour a week or they get a guy for one night a week and then they're like I just want to see him more to which my response is if he's giving you one night a week is either guy you want is this act you may you may really love him for that night but here would be my response to the guy you really think that I'm going to settle for happiness one night a week screw you I need it seven nights a week I need to be happy seven days a week you really think that I'm going to settle for something that's good one hour a week you must be out of your frickin mind you're oh I know who you're thinking of you're thinking of the woman there all of this okay I'm the woman here this is who I am I'm sorry that you got us confused yeah so you come across hard and unapproachable are you those things for sure out of interest why does that act of femininity make you cringe right you said your so your thought was I can do it myself what's the problem with that there are many things that I have to say well of course I could do them myself that goes without saying you're a strong woman of course you could do it yourself that's not the point what type of man do you want to be with on the scale of masculine to feminine a masculine guy okay what types of guys do you attract right now [ __ ] right because a masculine guy needs to feel masculine no guy no strong guy is going to be on want to be around a woman who never lets him take care of her your argument is I can do it myself well if I said to you that that's weak well if I said to you that having to do everything yourself is a form of weakness because all it is is trying to validate yourself by showing how strong you are and a strong woman doesn't need to exert that she doesn't need to spend that much energy showing how strong she is in fact a really strong woman can go one step more advanced because by the way the weakest woman the weakest says I need everything done for me I don't know how I can't do that help me a level above her is the woman that says I can do it myself I don't need someone for that I can do it myself a level above that is I know I can do it myself but it's a lot of fun when someone else does it it is strong to be served it makes me strong to be served but it does not make me strong to hold guys our arms-length saying I don't need them because guess what you do men need women women need men life just ain't as fun without them so once we accept that we need each other you don't need them for your happiness I know that but if you really want to get the most out of life and enjoy life on a different level then yeah bring some of those guys into your life because it won't be nearly as fun without them and they won't have nearly as much fun with you if they can't enjoy being a guy around you let's take another question yes so you've been hurt in the past you don't to be hurt again so anytime someone does something that could show you're about to be hurt your alarm bell goes off and you shut down so then when you shut down he doesn't feel connected to you and essentially you just use sever the connection don't you but it's safer to sever the connection in that moment than to engage in it and risk getting hurt you have to start by deciding what type of woman you want to be in this world not to put too big a question on it but what type of woman do you want to be you're going to find a new guy and you're going to completely open up and he's going to be someone who's sent to test your strength as a woman and he's going to completely annihilate your trust he's going to hurt you and you're going to be left with all this validation for what you thought you should have done which is closed down I should have put up a wall I knew it but here's your choice is my trust destroyed or does this just make me stronger and more determined to find the type of guy I want is this a moment where I'm supposed to back down and put up a wall or is this where I really show how strong I can be in a relationship because it's easy by the way to be strong in a relationship when you never been burnt it's easy to be confident when no one's ever torn you down it's harder it's more of a challenge when you've had reasons to be insecure and you're not and people do it every day now I'm here to tell you that you've been tested there are people that have hurt you you've gone through some difficult things but you still have a choice as to which way you want to go see between two events you have a choice to react in whatever way you want to react how am I going to react to this situation that's the big question which path is it going to send me down am I going to grow or am I going to shrivel now you've been shriveling a little bit like putting up a wall but I know that's not who you really want to be and I know it's not the example you want to set so it seems to me you have a relatively easy choice should you only be dating one person at a time in life you always just have to look at the practicalities of any situation rather than get emotionally invested in well what would I like it to be like how is it really what's it really like and if I'm a guy and I'm on a date with you and I think you're sleeping with a bunch of other guys is that going to grow my attraction probably not they wouldn't know right so let's get towards practical right you can absolutely date different guys and it's up to you at what level you do that is it just a date am i sleeping with them and so on now what I would do is start from a place of what do I expect from someone else in other words would I want to start dating someone who was sleeping with a bunch of other people at the same time they were dating me yeah if you absolutely if you found the perfect person you would dump all the others and they're in you answer your question because what you're really doing is saying I make exercising my options when I find someone I like I'm going to start focusing on that person now my options might still give me confidence because they remind me that I'm an attractive woman but I'm not going to exercise those options while I'm actually focusing on this person I care about and if that falls through okay I have options again but I'm not necessarily gonna you have to make the decision while I'm with this person and I'm investing in them do I entertain all the other options now I would say G was dangerous because the moment he finds out you're a few dates in and you're exercising your other options is a moment that a typical guy not every guy but a typical guy becomes less attracted because as I said he wants to feel he's on a unique path with you not one that includes other people at the same time I would say enjoy your options have your fun and when you meet someone you like be prepared to focus on that person that's why I would say you know there's nothing wrong with you exercising your options and enjoying being single but when you meet someone you want I wouldn't necessarily I wouldn't suddenly throw all those people out of your life but I would stop the intimate part of that so that you can actually move forward with a good heart with that person that you like so if I'm out with someone we're in a group how do I figure out if they have a partner or not especially if I'm hitting it off with them because what you don't end up is I've just had a three-hour in exchange that's my Friday night gone and you have a girlfriend yeah and many guys will enjoy the validation from that so they'll tell you at the very last minute even if they have you know even if they're always intending to tell you they'll tell you the last minute because they're really enjoying the exchange which women do - by the way let's not let's not like strike off guys for that so I I think personally there's nothing wrong in a conversation when you've been there a little while asking someone if they've got a girlfriend I don't think is anything wrong with that it doesn't look desperate it doesn't look needy it just likes you it just looks like you're direct doesn't light it doesn't also have to be a situation where you're saying it because you're interested it could just be you're asking you know like if they're in town for a few days you talk or talk to him about it like you going back home you have a girlfriend there talk to him casually and it doesn't matter like at the end of the day I'd rather put someone on the spot and find out then be vague about it and give them room to not say it and then you know go out for coffee with them and you're like well do you have a girlfriend and they go oh yeah you go way out for coffee and he's like oh I thought it was just coffee I would rather be direct about it and ask the question but do it with a smile on your face and just do it as part of a casual conversation yeah well one was one was one guy you met was a stalker I'm I'm one guy was married why just forgive me but why would that affect your confidence just cause he's a stalker it doesn't mean he has bad taste listen I would say this you're going to attract some of the wrong guys if you're attractive you're going to attract some bad guys you're going to attract some of the wrong guys this attractive people won't filter out just the good people you can't be attractive and only have great people be attracted to you if you're attractive people are attracted to you so you're going to get a few crazies in there you're going to get a few guys who are sleaze bags and they're married and they're going to do that so you're going to get that but why that would affect your confidence because you're new to it right but right now you're meeting guys big tick well done guys are attracted to you big tick well done now it's just refining now you're doing is sifting out the wrong guys from the right guys but you're already most already steps ahead of most women out there who are doing nothing most women aren't doing anything they're not doing anything they're not your competition like this is the this is the great thing people like all the ratios between men and women there are so many single women it doesn't matter 90% of them aren't doing [ __ ] they're sitting at home eating ice cream they're not doing anything they're not your competition it doesn't matter if you're a proactive woman you're already in the 10% and if you're proactive and you know what you're doing and you've been to an event like this and you've been through it and you're figuring it out now you're not even in the 10% you're in that top 1% and those women stand out from every other woman no matter how many there are go out tonight and here's what you'll see a whole lot of women and men not talking to each other if if I could only tell men guess what guys don't worry about the rich guy over there don't worry about the guy over there who looks like Brad Pitt he ain't your competition because he's too busy sitting at the bar trying to look cool these women over here they want to go out to talk to them no one's going over there these guys that you're afraid of that you're intimidated by that you don't think you have as much as they're not your competition they're not doing [ __ ] go do it and you're already way ahead of the curve right just talking enough will eventually get you laid and I say to you women that most women aren't doing anything so they're not your competition get out there be proactive do this stuff and do it with a good heart and you're already in the top top percentile of people who are going to get results thank you so much thank you you

Channel: Matthew Hussey

Views: 6,756,005

Rating: 4.8794112 out of 5

Keywords: how to be more confident, drive guys wild, matthew hussey, dating advice for women, what men want, how to attract men, meet men, get the guy, make him like you, make him love you, tips for women, flirting tips, texting, calling, how to talk to men, love advice, relationships, how to be more approachable, how to drive guys wild

Id: yCfthlQsThc

Length: 14min 52sec (892 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 31 2013