How to Be Confident in Spite of Your Insecurities (Matthew Hussey)

hello we're back again another year this is the first video of a new year we always start new years with this sense of hitting reset don't we there's a freshness to it a new year it's like taking out a new journal and beginning a fresh on a blank page i said to harry can we find a shot in the house somewhere where we can go where there's not christmas decorations around me and then there's a lot over here on this side as well you weren't you have not got the movement and i thought you know what it doesn't matter christmas doesn't the decorations don't suddenly go away do they because it's a new year they don't just evaporate we have to then put the christmas decorations away to begin the next year life is a bit like that isn't it it operates on a continuum we all thought covid 2020 coved well not really kovid doesn't care about our calendar year any more than our problems do or our insecurities do i like the idea that we write down on a piece of paper our new year's resolutions you know i want to do i'm going to be confident this year and then all of a sudden there's that little voice in our head that says you do realize we still hate ourselves don't you and you go but why are you still here it's 2021 why are you still here because it's still there that's what life does it's just our problems continue and it's up to us to deal with them since life is all just a continuum at any point we can decide to disrupt the patterns that we live by on that continuum and now the beginning of a new year is as good a time as any to do that because we want to start living the life we want today we want to be happier or more confident or more at peace or more at ease with ourselves or more clear about our direction and intentional today not next year because we want the benefits today that's the reason to do it right now is not because it's the beginning of january but because we want the benefits of change now i have a clip that was taken from a video that stephen my brother stephen hussey and i did together that was all about how to be the most confident version of yourself and i think that's a wonderful time for us to release this clip i know you're gonna love this check it out and i'll see you back here at the end of the video hey matt i have a question for the podcast i would be really interested in the insecurities that you have to struggle with because you are one of the most confident people here on social media and a great role model and that's why i'm always wondering if there was anything you have to struggle with do you i don't know if i'm one of the most confident people on social media luckily she said it so i would never you would never catch me saying that about myself i um people do describe you as you know to me as like matt so confident in himself and you know they they feel like you're you got it made right i m what insecurities why i think i have all the same insecurities as as other people i think it's always the extent to which your insecurities dominate you yeah because what is that then if you've got all the insecurities other people have is it is it just perception that you're perceived as more confident because i i think there is a level of confidence in you that many other people don't possess but as your brother i know there are things you know like all of us there are things you think oh i'd like that to be a bit different about myself oh i don't feel great in my body today or this so what do you think that is do you think you just are good at overcoming those or or you know not letting those define you how you're going to come across i think it's a combination of things it's you firstly you do what you can where you can right so you work on your body to the extent that you can your looks you work on them to the extent that you can you there are certain things that you you do what you can with what you have it's not being confident isn't about accepting the worst version of yourself you figure out what power you have over certain things we can all groom shape ourselves look after ourselves in order to look better and feel better if we're talking about physical for example which is a major level of area of insecurity for a lot of people and then past that point i think confidence can be a combination of self-acceptance and fatalism self-acceptance in that you grow to love you know you sort of la you know we talk about this on the retreat you love yourself because you're all you have and because you're someone that you're responsible for right people don't love their kids because they're the best they love their kids because they're responsible for their kids and because they want the best for them um so that's the self-acceptance part the fatalistic part is the part where you go [ __ ] it no matter how much i worry about this thing it isn't gonna get better like it's not it's not me worrying that i don't look as hot as that person isn't gonna make me hotter so this is what i'm i'm here on this earth once and this is what i have right so let me go and make the most of that and stop worrying that i can't that i'm not as whatever as this person because i'm not i'm just not like it's there's certain things i'm never gonna be and i think that when you get comfortable with that and when you get fatalistic about it then you just go well then i'll do the best i can with that right and that guy is not better than me because he was born better looking or taller or like it doesn't that that's like that's the lottery he won yeah right we won certain lottery tickets too like but it doesn't it doesn't make someone better than me that they had different resources or that they were gifted different things at the outset that doesn't make anyone better than me yeah just means that's what they got so this is what i've got what my my whole game in life is what can i do with that and what can i do with that this is what i got yeah what could i do with it like that to me is what makes your life a work of art it's like how can i play the game with these cards like what kind of game could i play with these yes like i i this yeah what art could i make out of the i've been given a it's like you know like in uh what what are the shows like masterchef or whatever where they just get given like a handful of random ingredients right right yeah yeah like a bit of carrot here's some cinnamon there's some creme fraiche here's a bit of salmon and they're just like go for it they don't they don't sit there for the next hour that they have crying over the ingredients i bloody wish i had some creme fraiche right now no they go i've got an hour i've got one hour to make the most of these ingredients and how good of a chef i am has zero to do with these ingredients it has everything to do with how i use the i'm not going to be graded on how good of a draw i did in the beginning on my ingredients that's not what master chef is about is it even masterchef the show that i'm talking about it's one of them it's one of the shows where they get given one of the thousand cooking shows i'm not gonna get graded on like i drew the ingredient they don't all draw ingredients and then the show ends there and they go well jonathan won because he drew a bit of steak and some garlic butter and some asparagus and jonathan got the rib eye and no one's gonna top that come on call it call it jonathan's drawing the rib eye they don't that's not the show that wouldn't be a show right right it's not roulette it's the show is they all get given ingredients let's now see how great of a chef they are that's life wow we all got ingredients we're not gonna be great like anyone worth talking to isn't gonna grade you on your ingredients they're going to grade you on what did you do with those ingredients that's how that's now you're a chef be a chef don't be someone who's trying to draw a good hand and even for me even if no one thinks you even if no one ever realizes what you did with those ingredients you do and that's worth noting too go back and look at what you did with your like look at if you want confidence look at what you already did with a bunch of your ingredients like what did you already do where have you already been a chef yeah in your life and that you're not giving yourself enough credit for because if you look at that you'll see you you forget those really quickly right we forget really quickly the amazing recipes we have put together yep because we just move on from that and go yeah but i'm i i didn't i haven't achieved this yeah because you're always looking at the meal that you haven't cooked but look at the ones you already cooked that's amazing if i if i want to get ridiculously confident right now all i need to do is look at the meals i already cooked and and then i'm going to go my god and i cooked those meals with who i was five years ago or ten years ago i was a much worse chef then than i am today and look why i already cooked so imagine what meal i can cook today with what i have whatever ingredients you find yourself starting with this year don't judge the ingredients the ingredients aren't your art the way you use them is and by the way if you want to use your ingredients to full effect to see what's possible for you and i really believe that our minds today cannot even conceive of what's possible what our ingredients could become a year from now five years from now ten years from now when i look back on my life no matter how big i dreamed i know there were things that i've been able to do and create and make happen that were beyond anything i could have conceived of then if you want to find out what is possible for you in march i have my second ever virtual live retreat we did it once back in october of 2020 it was a huge success and there were people from all over the world who attended my live retreat for the first time because they've never been able to get to the in-person retreat i do in florida every year so if you're one of them and you want to try my live retreat for the first time ever come join us in march i will leave a link right here and i hope to see you there thank you so much guys welcome to another year i'm excited to be on the journey with you once again and as always i will see you next week you

Channel: Matthew Hussey

Views: 161,987

Rating: 4.9640117 out of 5

Keywords: matthew hussey, retreat, matthew hussey retreat, dating advice for women, self esteem, tony robbins, date with destiny, personal dynamics, seminar, self help, coaching, training, women’s retreat, high value woman, Matt Hussey, Get the guy, how to get the guy, attract men, keep your man, dating coach, relationship coach, relationship tips, what men want, make him like you, make him love you, how to talk to men, core confidence, personal growth motivation, be confident now

Id: pCOO-jnvCXs

Length: 11min 56sec (716 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 02 2021