Alright, we're checking out the only game where the more
friends you can make, the more lives you can ruin. It's Join Clash 3D. Now, like any Floridian,
I go into battle with a baseball bat and a watermelon on my head. So the entire purpose here
is to make a lot of friends. Maybe some of them die to a gigantic-
What does that say? Natalia Kushnerervich? So it's like a real person. Oh, my God. She got evaporated.
All that- I love how just a random dude just gets
vaulted out of the top of the castle. Also, the only thing left of her
is like a strawberry lemonade stain. As you can imagine, you can upgrade
your items such as your knife. Oh, never mind. I'm actually
using like Jason Voorhees' machete now. Yeah. More money, please. Now, you do have to see what happens when your friends touch
anything. That's not you. They just explode. They just get absolutely murdered. Oh, my God. It's the pumpkin king. I had, like, 30 friends
when I went to do this. Now I have like, two. Let me go ahead and pick up
all of his soul hammers. I don't really know
what else to call that. A young man gets yeeted
out of the top of the tower, and now I'm fist pumping in the air. Why? Because I get to build something. Now, this is my golf course over here. We get to start with
our very first building, which basically boils down to red, blue
or a potted plant. It looks like an evil potted plant.
So I'm going to go with this one. Yeah, whatever. Go ahead. Build it. I have to mention something real quick. The game did this. I didn't. Is our name, literally, Player 69? Yes, it is.
Come on game. I'm not changing that.
Drag to move. What? I'm moving.
What is this? B onus level? Oh, my God. I have to kill human beings
with a cannonball. Oh, wow. Oh, this is awful. Oh, there's. There's, like, no survival. How are you going to stop this? How will anyone actually
make it down to the castle? It's just nonstop murder. Hold on. There's one guy. Hold
on. Maybe he can make it. Never mind. Yeah. Better knife.
I guess it just looks like the same knife. Maybe it's sharper. I don't really know. Is it like a present? Just chilling out
in the middle of nowhere? Also, this guy has a baseball bat.
Do I get to have him on my team? Is he now like a baseball bat
wearing teammate? I kind of want. Yeah. I was gonna say I wanted to murder just
one guy just to see what would happen. Oh, it is true. I get to keep the weapons
of the people that I conquer. Isn't that wonderful? More knives, more money
I don't even care too much about. Like the defense upgrade. I get a target shield, like,
literally a target shield. Like a shield from target. Right. Is that just a randomly bouncing ball? I don't know. I mean, they kind of. I was kind of curious
what would happen if it ended up squashing a few of my good friends. I love how I'm not even attacking
any of the bad guys. I'm just hitting
my own people in the spine. But it seems to work out for me
just fine anyway. Raise the Floridian flag. I just found out this game, like, doesn't
know how to actually integrate ads. So I can just click
all these buttons over and over again and eventually get this
that I'm totally wearing this hat. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the stuff ma ma I've created from a hat
into a nightstick. Does it make a lot of sense? But I have a really pointy hat,
so I guess we'll just call it, you know, call it- call it even. All right, everyone. Yes,
go ahead and murder everything. That's not us. Are you fighting with
double bombs? Oh, my God. There is blood and agony everywhere. I asked. Player 69 gets to continue
building his palace. Let's see. All right. That one's okay. This one is exactly the same, except
was slightly more urine color to it. Ah, that's perfect.
What does attack now mean? Just drop bombs on people
for absolutely no reason. I'm actually going to destroy this
entire planet. More knives? Yeah. When you're carrying a butcher's
cleaver, everyone around you looks like a haunch of meat.
All right, I need to know. Oh, wow. Oh, that kills
people really fast. I had no idea.
Do I have to beat this chest to death? Nope! I love how there's only one option
for anything that I run into, and that's to hit it until it explodes.
Yeah. Give me the extra money. More money, more blades. Okay, so now we have the maneuvering saw. So if I just hit this and I die,
does the game end? Oh, you lose, and you still get 50 coins
just for being a loser. Oh, but you can keep
upgrading your weapon. How come my sword is getting smaller? Awesome. I really
feel like I've done very much. I've just kind of, like,
continued to move forward. Oh, I just lost two of my friends.
I don't know how awesome that is. Time to meet the yeet, boys!!! Meet the youth!!! Oh, my shield actually
looks like a shield now. I mean, it's kind of a shield
made out of Styrofoam, but, I mean, it's something.
Also, why is everything very Target colored? It's like I'm getting murdered
by the same place that I'd like to buy popcorn
and $5 shirts at. Right now I have a legitimate sword. How high does this thing go? What is this? How am I supposed to get over this?
Do I, like, yeet over it? Oh, I literally flip over it.
That's kind of cool. Whoa. Okay, they're starting to get to be, like, a lot of obstacles
to get around at this point. It used to be pretty easy. Where there really wasn't
that much that you had to do- Did e just step on those men?
Like, nothing happened.... Whoa!
WHOAAA!!!!! Uh..... Okay. All right. So a little bit of a firestorm, but
luckily, we are mostly resistant to fire. I will go ahead and take your spinal mallets. If you don't mind,
then I will throw your best friend out of the balcony of your al,
your home, and take it. All I did was just commit a felony. Yes, I would like the two extra things, please. Look at the size of my cannon, now. Itt shoots out golden cannon balls. Oh wow! The cannonballs really, kind of like- It really travels. Look, you can just catch the end
and everyone is murdered. This is what y'all get
for not being my friends. Oh, there's one very, very large knot
friend over here coming in. Oh, all right. He takes more than one ball, He takes a lot of balls.
Oh, he takes all the balls. .......aaaaaaaand yeet! And grab the gift. Give up two human beings. There we go. There's plenty more that we can find
after all. Did I just die? I think my guy actually died.
I didn't know I could happen. Oh, you get a choice now between people
with weapons or ones without weapons. I feel like I should have gotten
the one with the weapon. This is going to be a pretty close fight
because none of us are using anything but like our slack
fighting skills. Luckily, it was still enough. I get a sheriff's deputy hat and a minecraft pickaxe.
Are you kidding me? I'm digging for skulls. I mean, diamonds. I love the sound
effects on the attack one another. It's like they're
trying to be like, woops. It's like they're trying to be, like, a dog. Like a human dog. Like a human dog. Because, like, Okay, I've got a pretty good
group of people here. Oh, now there's. Oh, no. Every one of my guys are weapons
plunged to their death. If there's going to be anyone left
is literally going to be like one dude. I think we're going to lose this fight. No, there's one person left. One. I don't know if I would
actually call that a victory. And there's, like, still more stuff. Look at this. It looks like
it looks like a like a leaf trimmer. It looks like one of those things that you that you clean up the trees
surrounding your house with. Dana, this is a perfect rhino. Here we are. I was going to say
this is a perfect run so far. I've got my baseball
bat. Everything's fine. Now we're going to get to the palace.
Oh, it saves the amount that- So there's only one person left. It saves the amount of damage
that you do. That was awful. I got a football helmet. I feel like I should have had
this a while ago. All right. Now we're back to baseball
bats at this point. You know what I started with? It all just comes around full circle.
All right. Wonderful. I love that all of your friends are dead. Like, that's exactly
what's supposed to happen. All right, everyone, that's. Well,
one out of seven or so. Oh, my God. Why, everyone? Everyone could have been-
It could have been everyone This guy's shooting arrows at everyone. There's nobody left with me. Hopefully I can take enough damage
to, like, get this done. It's going to be really close.
He has, like, one hit point left. I did it!
Actually, this means I have to do everything. I had to be the person that like breaks
in the breaks in the front door. And I have to be
the person that throws the other dude out. I have done everything myself. Oh yeah. Let's go and
put down a cannon there. More swords, more money. Out of the way, hedgetrimmer! Oh, I can stop. And now we go aaaaand whoop.
aaaaand yeah. Oh, wow. We're very spry. Here we are. Get a whole group
of individuals now to die. For my good fortune. We're on the right. On the left.
Get bouncy balled. And I mean, I'm still here,
so we should be fine. As long as I'm here and I have my ax,
I'm pretty sure we can win this. I'm worth at least three people. See, I told you. This is my house now. All right, I guess I'll grab these guys
because I don't have any friends, and I don't feel like fighting everyone
without people to fight for me. Go this way. Can I get past these
individuals? I guess not. I guess you have to murder them
like there's no way around it. I was trying to,
you know, like, avoid a fight. But there's one thing that this game has taught me
is that there is no avoiding death. You have to just do it
until somebody pays the ultimate price. Sorry, Adam Goldman,
you've been evicted by Player 69. I got a ton of money that time. I guess I'll increase my my shield like
a bunch of times and get a better weapon. All right, hatchet guy,
you're coming with me. I missed everyone else.
That's unfortunate. Grab these three.
Big jump. Nice. And then another big jump nobody gets. I don't know what to call that.
Nobody gets their hedges trimmed, I guess I'll say. Grab you and yeah... I think-
I think we have enough. We've got at least three guys
with weapons against this thing. And you can see, well,
there's one guy with weapons now. V.I.P. So it's between this and this. I don't like the VIP one.
I'd rather have the purple one. Oh, wow. My cannon gets bigger, like, every single time. What do you mean by that? Oh, it's got flaming. Murder, murder, murder. It's the most important
thing in this game. There's no such thing as talking it out. Oh, a double ax guy. I love how he just
ran into my house and detonated. It was just like a bunch of. What is this? I need to get this. It's like a plunger grape
jelly vomited itself all over my siding. *dying screams* Oh, that's the sound
I've wanted to hear for so long. Ooh, that wasn't great. Now, I've kind of got, like, this weird, like, segment of,
like, one guy who has no friends. He was just chilling out on the very,
very edge of my friend group. I really don't know
how big this group can possibly get. I seem to end with about ten
living individuals like the Friend Group had probably gotten up to
about 20 or 30 people. Just not all of them
live to tell the tale. All right. We got two guys with weapons. Three guys with weapons,
and we're going to dodge. Oh, yeah, this is happening. And now
we can just drive through all of this. Okay. This is a big group of people. All right, well, now it's a less
big group of people. It was slightly bigger
until a bunch of them died. Oh, it's a gigantic brawl. But we've got the baseball bats on our team. A baseball bat and possibly a machete. I'm not actually sure. In fact,
I think the guy who was carrying it died. So, I mean, now we'll never know. Please give me this unicorn head. Please give me this
unicorn head. So if I just I was going to say,
if I don't go forward, like, I was going to say,
if I don't go forward, like, do they still make the awful sounds? And wait a second. All right. We're going to do this, like, very,
very perfectly. Okay? We're going to grab that guy
and then this this guy, and then I'm going to try not to blow up.
Oh, I have a bomb. That was actually a bomb I could get.
I didn't know that. Then we can just drive through all this
like it's no big deal. Two guys have to die. These nine guys have to die. Now we're going to get bombed real bad. And once again, I'm all, Oh,
I thought I was going to be all alone. There's actually like seven people left. I like how you can build trees, popsicle trees or like,
I don't know, Christmas trees. I guess I'll take the popsicle trees,
spend $1,000 and get a skin. Spend $1,000 and get a skin. Great. All right, boys. Let's do this. I look different
every single time. I don't know if it's
because I have a really big closet. I mean, now I got, like,
the Joker mallets trying to- I managed to dodge every single friend
I could have had. I didn't plan on doing that. It was just kind of the
way it turned out. Alright! You've got a pretty big group here. NOOOO!!!!! Well, that turned out not very good. Oh, no, I'm dead. There's no way my group can win this. I'm sorry, guys. Like a blueberry milkshake massacre. Oh, I finally got it.
I'm never taking this off. All right, you have to do this basically
perfectly to have enough firepower to win in the end. So we're going to try and get every friend
we possibly can. Here we are.
There's one guy on the edge. And then three over here. So let's grab the three. All those. Now he can blast through all this.
That was really good. Okay, now we've got a lot of firepower,
and I'm also wearing the skull of a unicorn. That means we can't
possibly lose. See, it's like, uh.... It's like the Vikings
wearing the horny helmet. Except I only have one horn on my helmet,
but it's a rainbow horn, so it counts for a lot more than normal. I have, like the red, white and blue America shield. like our boys afraid of of unicorns. You will be. Now, this is a pretty equal
fight right here. Tatiana is doing well, but now I'm in this
and I'm using a minecraft pickax. Yep. It's just going to be me in the end. They couldn't handle the power
of both unicorns and America. I almost don't want to get rid
of this pickax. I kind of love it. It's like probably my favorite weapon
out of all of them. I love the the the
the like the audio quality of this game. Like, whoever decided to do all of the voice acting, you can tell
is just the one guy. Like, they didn't actually get anyone else
to do any of the voices. Not the fire rain.
Stop!!!!! If I told someone that most of my family members died in the great fire
rain of, like, 2022. It wouldn't really be any different
than a normal Floridian day. They'd be like, Oh, they died on Monday. Oh, I actually have more area
to put things in. What is this? Is that a Oh, my God, it's a hideous frog. Like, it's just awful. Yeah, I'll grab it. Sure. Remember, Player 69 was here. What do friendship
and death have in common? Everything! Alright, right about here- Oh he's trying to juke a little bit,
kind of going slightly to the right. All right. We have some spinning tops
over here that double as ways to kill human beings. That's very nice. I will go ahead and grab this
random bomb again. I'm not exactly sure what it does
other than look cool on my on my mantle, I guess. This guy happens to have a nice stick so he gets to be on my on my team. I love
how all of my friends are murderers. I don't have just like a regular person,
someone with low blood pressure. All right. Real quick, do you seven,
how much do you like killing? They're like, "Yayyyy!!!" All right, you're on the team,
except for you. All right. Let's see if we can not have most of you
fall to your deaths and run through all this.
Grab the last few people I can. Okay. The group is getting very, very large, and the game,
at the very least, thinks is wonderful. I love that. As I lose people
like I gain another- Another guy, it's like clockwork. Okay, giant mosh pit. Probably only going to be like one or two
people left alive. Luckily, I'm in the front lines doing something about this
And I'm it, once again! I made like 100 friends
that lost them in the span of 20 seconds. I got a bunny hat, but I don't want it. I'm wearing the unicorn until I die. Well, this game taught me one thing that friends are basically good
for killing and dying. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed this episode of Join Clash 3D.
Until the next time: Stay foxy and much love.
