Zooming With the Homies (ZWTH) EPISODE 74

whole ass librarian tried to play in my face and i was like you know what i am not ready for this like you a book [ __ ] don't [ __ ] you won't [ __ ] [ __ ] so i was like you know what i'm still working on me i'm not ready to interact with humans yet i'm just going back home and i'm a chill because this this is not my ministry this ain't it no listen i got i got my my mods are on it man they uh sent me everything that i need so i'm gonna have your information all about the description i'm still working on me oops i didn't mean to do that they say what the i was doing why i hear myself yeah that was that was my bad what's up uh everybody man thank y'all for tuning in man we about to get it going everybody's coming in right now uh you know let me get her in i'm in okay i see her my dad i was on the other i was going uh hi todd how are you where are you in san francisco are you in the clouds no i'm i'm on my mama's balcony but you know i thought a little different scenery might be you know a little more progressive balcony nah cause she in there yelling at the tv and even if i shut her door and go in the sitting room you still going here football ah i don't know about football we a football family but i'm boycotting this season i know i was supposed to do it like a season or two ago you know but um you're going on because your team is sorry no i'm boycotting because i mean 2020 is trash i'm just boycotting everything like here's the thing my team i inherited that team by default they trash who are they i don't even know football but i know they trash i don't even know who they are so my team you don't even know who they are listen okay so the last team that i made a commitment to was the denver broncos and the only reason i did that is because i was a die-hard indianapolis colts fan for years when peyton manning went to indianapolis i was like okay boom that's where i'm at and then when the earth say and pauline and all them was acting stupid and they let my mans go i was like oh that's what we doing i'm out of here [ __ ] and then peyton went to denver and i was like denver broncos and then it was like turn up and then he won the super bowl he was like all right i quit and i was like wait [ __ ] what like are you married no you can tell right now i'm about to say you're like a great wife i'm like i was trying to take nothing really yeah she said peyton manning said what i was trying to that's not trying to use that on a date be like and then then what happened was and he'd be like well i got a wife you is that how that go nah nah nah uh it's not how it goes for me like [ __ ] do not like me it's cool um don't worry girl things don't like me don't worry it's it's 20 20. it's 20 20. i'm about to go like i'm about to make a list of my single homeboys and make a pact like hey um if i'm not married by 45 what are we doing girl i tried that already all my all my homie friends denied me i was like look if i am married by 45 46 can you give me a baby real quick i don't even want nothing to do just give me a big role oh oh no [ __ ] babies i'm good on that nah i need a producer heir i need like to go to the league either the nfl then i mean but you know you really need an air though like yes i do i'm amazing let's carry on the legacy let me let me let me welcome everybody because y'all y'all jumping there fast and i love every part of it but let me just caught up uh welcome everybody man we are uh on another episode of zuma with the homies man thank you guys so much for pulling up uh it's always a good time when i got my friends in the building and i always got my friends in the building on this show so uh it's always gonna be a good time i want to thank each and every one of y'all for tuning in and as you come in come in grab your seats grab a drink you know saying post up we're gonna have a good time don't touch nothing uh accept that like button you hit that like button all day long shout outs out to mamas because we got the description in already so everybody if you missed something or you didn't get paid today or last week and you still want to donate all the information will be up there now shout out to my my amazing my eyes stephen o'conne jennifer rivas uh hippie goals man they have everything for me now and i'm gonna start putting that in immediately so when you re-watch the show shout out to the rewatch gang you guys will have all of their information and you can put that in um as you see fit uh donovan i don't have your cash app so if you want to text that to me or put that in the zoom chat you can do that and i will update that as well but all your other stuff is there your instagram your youtube your merch and your twitter all of that's already input in the um in in the description shout out to clayton thomas for not coming in until he gets his introduction because his [ __ ] will turn off his camera until he gets into deduction i'm just going to just go ahead and start with him since that's what he's doing obviously uh ladies and gentlemen this is another episode of zuma with the homie shout out to the realest show uh in the land this is not behind the paywall so all i ask is that you take care of my guests bless them with a little something something and i would be super appreciative of it as well they again as you come in please hit the like button i say it every show y'all act like y'all forget every show but i'm gonna keep saying it until y'all just come in to do it hit that like button and we about to kick it off just like this ladies and gentlemen first up this is my brother amazing content creator husband um not a father yet but i i don't even know if he wants to be a father we know that's going to be one of the things we talk about um he needs a legacy we're going to talk about it but ladies and gentlemen detroit's on one of the funniest [ __ ] i've ever seen on the microphone uh creator writer producer director ladies and gentlemen make some noise for clayton thomas in the building i hate you he behind a virtual curtain i thought i thought he was gonna play his own music that's what i thought hey give him no ideas donovan don't give them no ideas don't give them no idea the first person that comes on the show and saying cut the music dj after i get that introduction i'm gonna block it hey right there dj appreciate you yo that's so funny man clayton what's going on baby how you doing man i'm good man uh thank you so much for having me on another edition of zooming with the homies it's always a pleasure being in front of you come on you never heard your voice like that ct hey guys oh man i never heard your voice like that come on here wait wait wait we love this guy man let me throw in the ct and that's it for the evening news now go ahead well you know i'm just saying this is why it's so funny to be i know clayton's regular voice and then i also know his upset voice and it's not that different this hey wait what here's the thing clay just like my uh when my aunt gets mad i have one of those who like gets quieter as she gets mad right so she's like i don't appreciate how you came into my house that's my auntie and that's clayton when clayton gets it you know what bro i don't understand i just don't like the way she came at me like that like that don't it gets so quiet i'm like [ __ ] i need you to speak up or text it to me because i don't know what to say about right now i sent you the cash out okay i'm gonna put that in the description and then i'm gonna have you change your name to that uh when we move forward after we do uh all the introductions uh well clayton thomas thank you so much for being here man um let's keep it moving next up ladies and gentlemen we have the uh new york bombshell the m16 totem uh content creating stage ripper upper uh she says she can't find a man but i don't believe that [ __ ] because uh she strikes me as the type of person that snatched somebody about a shirt like yo we go together now i don't work no more to hear yeah all right [ __ ] ladies and gentlemen comedian writer producer director content creator miss lulu gonzalez [Music] thank you what up y'all i can't find a man man i was with donovan yesterday we was i went about on these streets there was nothing out there man it's nothing on the street it was it was something out there where something uh we was at a wedding it was a bunch of single guys she just didn't walk none of them what it is that's what yeah here's the thing by choice don't let her donovan okay they were single but they weren't like so here i'm pointing i'm pointing [ __ ] out what about him okay what about him he's too short what about him he ain't got no hair his hairline receding oh we're doing he'll have to see like this yo listen she only likes light skinned guys that is not true that is not true clay you can only enjoy the lighter complected i've actually not have not dated any light-skinned men in the past two years it's only been brown skin and preferably dark-skinned tom are you ready for this my brother are you ready for this truth lulu that i'm about to hit you with tell me clay also what you guys don't know lulu looks amazing her body her physique is incredible however it's incredible because she didn't always have this incredible physique she used to be a little chunkier so now she holds that against the chunky brothers so she doesn't show love to them she only dates what she looks like now hello ty davis by the way we haven't had a chance to meet helen how are you doing but uh lulu is out of control only date the lighter completed brothers wait now i gotta date jar skin chunks this is getting too good this is crazy before disrespect this is yeah this has been [ __ ] phenomenal you can't have a little dab just don't know no no no you gonna hold the [ __ ] up uh ladies and gentlemen next up she is a crowd favorite you have seen her on multiple shows she is from north carolina originally right now in the baltimore area one of the funniest and coolest people i've ever met in my life i call her icebox this is cool as a [ __ ] cute you understand me ladies and gentlemen creator content creator uh radio host podcast host uh comedian mother and cougar extraordinaire damn cool hi david he's on the [ __ ] show [Music] hey what's up guys hey what's up amazing by the way amazing lips and teeth amazing thank you you know amazing i see that immediately but uh lulu is still wild let's not forget about that though wait what's a cougar extraordinaire man let me tell you something ty not only is a cougar but she teaches the class on how to become and the behavior of sad cougar you know yes all of it yes i let me tell you what i'm not [ __ ] with this guy ponytail going back and forth i'm not about to deal with this for two hours you understand me the longer the ponytail the better the cougar man come on sis you know and transparency i it's a little ponytail underneath it but you know whatever confidence that's right but hey you know the way you swing that [ __ ] you would never know i like that cause i got 762 bobby pins holding this adventure on i am confident it ain't coming off tonight okay thank you secrets has dropped so many quotables on this on this damn show first of all she she told us meat missile and i had never heard that as a euphemism for a dick me using that hold on let me write that down i'm gonna quote you but i'm gonna use that and then you can't get no you gotta tell me what's gonna be your if you wanna i got options a stripper what would be your stripper name again tell them one more time um my stripper name would be candy yams that spell y-a-m-z-z-z three-z's because easy am split [ __ ] to sleep okay thank you you're welcome so i like that i like that a lot you're one way you can put [ __ ] everything he's on by the long joint with the little [ __ ] that's funny she's the first girl to make a [ __ ] get a whole bag [ __ ] come over to house holding this [ __ ] like that [Laughter] uh it's the first time on the show man oh whoa whoa whoa uh-uh give me the proper respect i deserve i'ma walk into my [ __ ] come on okay my bad go ahead do your thing okay cool i got you i got how he gonna hear the introduction ladies and gentlemen first time on the show you've seen them all over the internet you've seen them all over your tv he's a comedian he's a writer he's a producer he's a model but more than anything ladies and gentlemen he'll [ __ ] your girl ladies and gentlemen coming to the stage right now please clap please make a lot of noise for mr donovan jordan [Music] how you doing how you doing how y'all doing yeah so uh with the mic [ __ ] standing up too much with the stand you know what [ __ ] get off the show gotta respect that listen hold up [Music] just just to hold it and do a show by my damn self like it was therapeutic for me so that's why i got it let me take out this donovan hit me up was like hey [ __ ] i want to do the show look fun and i was like [ __ ] how did i forget about donovan but donovan's one of those comics where you see re you see donovan and it's an experience because he don't really come out to the clubs even before a covet and [ __ ] didn't really hang out like because then he was always on the road so it was one of those things where it was out of sight out of mind it definitely wasn't a slight to him are uh an intentional slight to his talent because he's one of the most talented comedians that i've ever seen this side of the mississippi ladies and gentlemen so please welcome him as we always do new guests on zuma with the homies as i said this show is not behind a paywall as of yet uh so because of that and everybody is touring comedians all i ask is that you take care of my guests please bless them with a little something and at this time i want to ask all my guests to change your name to your cash app handle so people can bless you with a little something and send you off right thank you so much i appreciate it now lulu what's up with you only [ __ ] light skin [ __ ] i don't only [ __ ] light skin [ __ ] first of all i've i [ __ ] a couple dark skinned dudes in my day but dark skin dudes would always do me dirty so i was like you know what [ __ ] y'all that keep doing me dirty i'm gonna hang out with these light brights but then as i got older things started to change and now i'm i'm back on the dark skin train and you know it's still the same as on the light skin train it's exactly it's actually worse on a light skinned train because they know why you're coming to them would you know what's crazy though yeah the dark skin dudes be taking advantage because they'd be like oh we in light skin [ __ ] ain't [ __ ] and they still treat you like [ __ ] because they know the options is thin that's not why you know why little wide dark-skinned dudes that do not a lot the reason dark-skinned brothers treat girls messed up when they know they've dated light-skinned guys first and now you've come over is because you've made the dark skin dudes a second option you've made them you know what i've been played by so many light skins let me give these dark brothers a chance and when you come over they say oh you about to get done dirtier because you made us number two no they scorned me man the first dude ever tell me no was a dark skin dude and after that it was another dark skin dude says y'all fart well fall i was happy i was with y'all look listen i'm not here to condemn you i'm here to help you my sister so what i have for you is a gift next time i see you what's that out of it it's a book called maybe it's you so it's a cold game here today you understand today damn i was come on hang on you didn't say that [ __ ] yesterday donovan take some pictures of me lulu lulu you got that i lulu but when you need me for the pictures i'm all right but when it's the next day it's maybe it's me i'm not trying to battle i'm saying before we we're not getting what we want the definition of you know not calling you an idiot but it's somebody who keep doing the same stuff over and over respecting them no no because it's not because no matter dark skin or light skin i seem to keep attracting inferior what am i doing because you're attracting them i don't know that's why i'd rather be single and be original this is what little doing this is what lulu's doing lulu keeps changing her body type lulu right now as thick as two loaves of bread she is she's a [ __ ] popeye's biscuit right now right with no milk or honey on it a year ago lulu was skinny as hell she was on her fitness channel she working out and drinking kale smoothies and stuff like that and she was attracting a different you got to pick one body type and you got to stick to that and you got to say hey this is what it is personally i hope you stay with the one you got right now hopefully you stay with us this is natural lulu and what y'all get is hollywood i gotta book the rose man i gotta i'm trying to get on the zendaya levels let me tell you something yeah [ __ ] i wanna emmy yo listen listen you you make them accept you shout out to kevin on stage in kevin state studios man we creating our own lanes over here dawg and and also uh make believe industries llc shout out to me as well because we are tired of netflix and hbo and comedy central and all of these other outlets telling us what we have to look like this is your if that's your natural thing that's your natural body set you shouldn't have to lose 15 pounds to get a roll that you want you should be able to come to the table unless but that's my reality hero or track star be you lulu these [ __ ] love you that's here but that's not reality for me speaking of you know chocolate women with amazing lips and teeth tai like what's what's your story because that's where we since we talked about that i'm just looking at the devils and uh i killed a shirt you know i look like i'm sick of turning down [ __ ] i am in the healing and nurturing phase of my life i i've been single since december of last year and i'm just working on being the best possible version of myself that i can be and understanding that i cannot request things that i want from my partner that i don't exhibit myself so say that ty um to sum it up i'm just doing these shows and [ __ ] these hoes what's up hi i was just about to say from one [ __ ] boy to another i noticed you i noticed you i noticed the [ __ ] boy in you like you looking like the type that's you know i'm so like i'm so glad that this moment has come because here's the thing uh donovan you and i have met uh-oh oh and um this is how every conversation goes when i'm around this [ __ ] keep going so so clayton you and you ct you and i met briefly um but it was crazy because my cousin was like so like he fanned out when he saw you so i kind of like i kind of like drifted away because i ain't want people to think i was with him because he was so excited to meet you once in a while just pause one second just pause one second donovan get off her instagram page trying to look at pictures to see if it sparks something in your memory yeah that's the fact that you don't remember i see you scrolling [ __ ] i seen all of your facebook that's hilarious that's hilarious to him no it's cool because i will send donovan the photograph of the night that i met him now here's the thing about about me being uh on my journey of healing because i'm in a better space i was waiting for this to happen because here's the thing i'm better now hold on oh [ __ ] wait time do i owe you an apology now or do i sound like it it sounds like one coming up for you girl so so so it was august 20th 2019. jesus christ oh my god almost a year today dollar baby waiting for this did you see him on the fly hey yo i need to get in i got some things to get off my chest a year like two days to date donovan yeah it was august 20th 2019. it was in los angeles california uh it was on the sidewalk of the hollywood improv and uh i was standing out there with some other comics uh black ron uh uh jordan rock uh ryan davis uh michael dubay and and some others uh pink fox i believe was there as well and i had never met you before and um but i realized that you were a comet now you were walking up the street and the way that all of us were positioned on the sidewalk it was like okay either this guy's gonna have to cut through us or go around us and guess what he chose and so he so but clearly he was like a comic i didn't know him so he comes up now here's what happened the guys started to like jot you a little bit like they was you know coming for you and you look like you wasn't in the mood for it that night and so they was kind of picking at you and you was like whatever [ __ ] and then you proceeded to walk through us to get to the club now i'm a southern girl and when we make eye contact the giggles we speak right so you and i made eye contact and i said hi how are you and you said you gave me the up down and then you kept walking and then i said what the [ __ ] that's what i said i said what the [ __ ] and then my people the people around us was like nah just chill you know he you know he liked that you know that's how i said why don't you [ __ ] high he is is this how y'all [ __ ] treat visitors in l.a like all i said was hi to the [ __ ] also he's from mississippi hold on and then you you turned around so arrogantly and you looked over your shoulder and you said oh my bad i thought she was one of them [ __ ] with a wig on wait wait say that again no no no no he did not no he did not she said oh i thought you were one of them [ __ ] with a wig on that's what she said oh [ __ ] she said you're so bad and first of all it was a weave not a wig um so he was coming and uh i was suited and [ __ ] booted on august 20th 2019 coming off of a fresh win of the 23rd annual american black film festival comedy games competition who the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] talking to now was this was this the time when you came out you were staying on a sunset and i picked you up and took you to the improv is that that time no that was uh another time okay okay okay remember that time okay and i will turn into like jerry springer i was i was highly offended i was like yo like he know y'all like that he don't even know like he don't know i'm a comic i could have been a comic i could have been one of the ladies or whatever and i was like um i don't like that [ __ ] and um and i always said to myself if i ever see this [ __ ] again i'm gonna give him a thousand bars and so then what happened was uh you know i started to do other things the apollo and um then you know stuff like that happened afterwards and capital super cruise and then don't you dare keep going with your [ __ ] resume don't you enjoy it and then covet happened and i was like you know what let me get on this journey so i got certified as a life coach and and i started to journal and do my affirmations and i started to get back into school and i'm pursuing my my degree because that's what i always wanted to finish and and networking and increasing my digital footprint and i said you know what thank you lord for the lesson that you were trying to teach me in 2020 and that i am healing and i appreciate you and then my good friend my good good friend to hear more sent me a text message and said hey ty are you free tomorrow night and i said you know i am friend and then he sent me the flyer today and i said um i text my girlfriend i said girl god is really testing me so donovan that spells his name not traditionally hey what's up nice to see you again wait wait i gotta i gotta give donovan a chance to rebuttal dinosaurs you have been brought up on charges of amazing fuckboy behavior i mean hating you outdone your and listen i've known donovan to do some fuckboy [ __ ] but i've also known donovan to do some real [ __ ] [ __ ] and i will speak on that after his rebuttal that was two thousand bars by the way okay what at least first of all clayton's a friend of mine he knows me very well he probably can tell you my brain said before better than i can but let me so i'm walking down i see a group of comics whom which i know but y'all know me i don't key with all these [ __ ] i just don't i just know y'all i don't so when i'm walking through they they feel comfortable enough they was on your ass they was on your ass that night i don't even i don't even [ __ ] with y'all like that like they're not that they're gonna be but we're not cool enough for us to be you know bagging on each other outside the improv so they said something i'm like oh [ __ ] that's it so let me keep walking so now i have tunnel vision and i'm low-key like what the [ __ ] just happened then she speaks i'm i'm not looking at the beautiful young lady at all all i see is [ __ ] and i see hair so i say oh wait let me double check my bad i thought she was one of these [ __ ] with wigs on so you know then i was like at this point i'm in it you know once you end some [ __ ] you win it so then gotta commit so you gotta come in i gotta commit you gotta commit i gotta commit i ain't you know i did feel away once i entered the comedy i'm not the community improv you know so i'm glad we're having this interaction because i'm actually uh best friend's best friend you know i'm actually a great guy but i just know nonsense with [ __ ] i don't [ __ ] with and so you just got grouped in with the wrong group so it ain't even no beef against none of them or nothing like that it's just i just don't speak to everybody you know you got to be a clean up to here to you know have this good conversation of mine donovan all you gotta do is just apologize to young lady man that's all she looking for and that isn't due so beautiful my beautiful black queen i gotta throw this on there and once i finish this apology if you could do a hair swoop to let me know that we good i apologize for my behavior on august 20th 19 i mean it was 2019 yeah 2019 i do apologize it will never happen again and matter of fact if you ever see me in person i owe you dinner because that's the type of guy i am you do have a 25 budget that's fair that's fair [Applause] that's fair or you can just take the 25 and do what you want to do with it but also a great offer i'll take that see for my category because on the screen though i need a switch recognition listen hold on hey go oh there we go listen listen before we go on listen you ain't gonna find this type of entertainment nowhere else on the couch hey this is real [ __ ] that is happening in real life make sure y'all hit that like button and make sure you utilizing that cash apps man i have my cash up right now as my mods my mods have a cash app so please bless them because they're in here every night monday through thursday with us the entire time making sure everything is good keeping all the negative comments out only pushing from uh positivity and this is something that is real and this is something that was on ty's heart and i'm glad that she was able to do it without me in a professional and mature way and i'm glad that donovan rose to the occasion in a professional and mature way but this is this is so dope man but please please please take care of my guests please take care of my more mods man they are doing a fantastic job and uh thank y'all man this this is [ __ ] fantastic donovan that was hilarious time as always it's always here's the thing go ahead a little bit i got a list of [ __ ] that i got some [ __ ] to get off of my chest too so can we can we get them on a couple flies with me because i got something here what were you gonna say clayton it sound like you had something i gotta listen i gotta we could put them all on one flyer and get it all out one time knock it all out that is hey that's a great over that um you gotta surprise them though like chicken ah this is a towel oh here i'm such a fan of to heal more thank you for having me on and then you invite lulu in the room and i come [Music] oh okay remember who's that sounds remember that oh [ __ ] clayton what were you gonna say i was gonna say uh it's so unfortunate first of all you have an amazing memory ty but i was gonna say it's so unfortunate that that situation is what happened with you and donovan but in the story you were telling me about me meeting your cousin who was a fan of mine as anybody who's ever met me that has been a a supporter of mine will tell you it is more exciting for me to be able to meet you than they are to meet me so if you had come up and said something why your cousin was there and just said hey i'm his cousin i'm also a comedian i would have loved to have embraced you not even trying to smash but telling you hey welcome and all of that good stuff so what it was so when i met you it was actually like um prior to that it was a matter of fact i was there for the semifinals for the competition and my cousin was like when i tell you he was so excited and he's one of my favorite cousins he's like almost like a little brother to me you know but we cousins yeah so you know it was like i didn't want to take that like i wanted him to have it you know what i mean like i just was like i didn't want to mess it up i didn't want to take from it and i was like you know go ahead he was like yo do you know that this [ __ ] you know i do the same [ __ ] he do too what is his name do you know who that his name is his name is jerrell burton and he was um he was stationed in san diego so he actually had driven up like i think it was like two and a half three hours to come and kick it with me and we had finished the competition we had went to um roscoe's on pico and you were standing outside and he was like yo cozzo do you know who that is and i was like [ __ ] outside like what are we it's a chicken spot like i mean i didn't have my spectacles on it so i didn't see and i was like he was like that's ct and i was like i don't know what you mean he was like clayton thomas and i was like oh i know who that is he was like yo i'm about to go say something i was like well relax you know funny like like calm down like get you like get yourself together like you you know i mean like she was like nah i'm going to say something i was like well look i just wanted this i wanted his name because i know he's probably watching you supporting you right now what's up no no he's watching to support you that's right that's funny he's hilarious he's not he's not watching me well thank you jarrell and shout out to all the military man bless us to all you guys thank you for being the real superheroes man you're welcome and um donovan um where am i 25.00 donovan was just on the spin for for a nice little five minutes while ty told that whole story but i told y'all donovan was that type of [ __ ] but i also told you he was a real one as well i want to tell y'all this quick story about donovan i i move the family out to la uh june 2012. um we get an apartment together got the kids bedroom i need to get her entertaining stand i go to ikea right i'm thinking i'm just gonna get some small stuff i'm taking some pictures and stuff like that i see something that's really good but it's too big for what i'm in i'm gonna forward focus with the hatchback right i'm like who the [ __ ] do i know with a truck the only person i know is donovan now keep in mind at this time i've done a couple schedules donovan he's closing clayton and doughboy than he is with me right so i call him on a whim like donovan bro i got this this thing for the family i got to get back to the crib i know it's last minute i know nobody wants to move this type of [ __ ] can you help me on the whim donovan pulled up with the truck and put all that [ __ ] from my kid in the back of his truck and y'all know like like moving people and going to lax when you do something like that for somebody they really [ __ ] with you so again like knowing donovan slightly in passing it was a little bit more than knowing somebody in passing for him to come to ikea and do that [ __ ] for me that let me know he's a real one now donovan got his ways i ain't a lot of you he got his ways but we all do yeah yeah you know what ct is one of my best friends but there's certain things i won't even call ct4 i'm like i know this thing ain't going for that but that's because and i know him there's certain things i won't even call him get your goddamn hands off your pearls okay so i can throw it under the bus you're clutching your invert invisible pearls and just take it you you're my [ __ ] but i know you right for donovan to do that and pull up to ikea and it's the old ikea this this ain't the new one this is the old ikea he pulled up to and he pulled up and i was eating ice cream i threw the ice cream away because i didn't want another grown man to see me licking the ice cream slow it just felt weird it just felt weird the question is why don't you have ice cream why wouldn't your ice cream be in a bowl with a spoon why did it happen to you in a cone okay i'm not it's like a dollar excuse me for not knowing ikea ice cream uh protocol i'm sorry about you i'll be furniture shopping you're right you're right i had some meatballs when i started and i finished with the ice cream yo i kid got something don't let me go sleep on it and let me say this um because i donovan i'm talking to you i i knew who you were like you know like because we know who's doing what or whatever so i was like oh damn you know i'm looking forward to you know connecting and meeting and that experience like it was you know i i was upset about it obviously and um i'm a black woman i wasn't going to let that [ __ ] go um ever but not but i i want you to know that i feel better having had the opportunity to to express myself to you um on this forum and it would have gone the same way if we would have met each other in person um but after like after like i'm good like i got it out i said what i said you said you said you were apologetic about it so like there's no [ __ ] all that [ __ ] that he said that was old unhealed ties so like i'm good we're good um whenever you send the 25 that'll like solidify it and then we can move on so but i'm cool hey what's up donovan how are you doing what are you doing i'm amazing [Music] you came to the threshold to get to meet the amazing dollars because see like to hear says there is a certain rite of passage you have to go through to because see i'm amazing person so i just can't be giving everybody amazingness you got to you i got to know you worthy of i got to know you amazing person so what you just bestowed upon me lets me know that i can be amazing with time so that's all it was it was if you you saw that oh which i i claim that i'm just i'm the perfect villain i'm the perfect villain ty is one of the listen ty is one of the coolest people i've ever met in my life ty and i first met on um we were in we were at the marriott in woodland hills we were doing the the closing scenes for um uh heart of the city and um she was one of those people where everybody just gravitated to we were out by the pool side just talking connecting getting to know each other and people kept coming up to her time and one dude came up to me trying to [ __ ] he was trying to buy me something he definitely was trying to [ __ ] you three years it was [ __ ] perfect you don't just coast over there you said that way too casual that's how i say it you don't see it like that you want to put a pause in that no he was trying to [ __ ] to hear how did he like that how did you here's the thing donovan when you get to a certain age you just take your compliments where you can get them i was like hey man thank you thank you i'm smoking my cigarette now at the time i had a long weave that was brown like with some red highlights because i hadn't fully tapped into my fully red which is what you met donovan like persona so um you know i was sitting there on the side and we was just talking to me he was vibing i was drinking a glass of wine and he was drinking this thing and then the guy who saw me remain nameless walks up and he was like hey um you mind if i sit with you guys and we were just like yeah you know it's cool whatever and so we're all so tahir and i were already involved in the conversation so then out of nowhere let's just say for the sake of this conversation we were talking about [ __ ] giraffes okay we talk about giraffes how they got long necks and they eat plants and this [ __ ] said these are facts to hear you're a very handsome man it's true and and to hear was like thank you and i was like good morning i was like yeah you you are a handsome man to hear it made me uncomfortable because i didn't i was like i've been talking i've been talking to here for like an hour now and i've not mentioned his looks at all and then the jealous side of me was like well [ __ ] i'm cute too the [ __ ] and he was very spicy like he was very spicy and um because that's the politically correct term because i don't need nobody like boycotting me but he was very spicy and it's clear that he you know that he you know would prefer to hear and it was awkward as [ __ ] after that like we was just sitting there like i got a question i got a question um i have so many questions i have a lot of questions after you gave him your number like did y'all wait y'all have dreams i was just on your side trying to smile you approach that way so maturely i've never been approached by the same sex so i always wanted to ask certain guys like how do you handle that and you were so nice he was he was so secure in his manhood and he listened he accepted the compliment and and we just moved on i don't give listen bro here's the thing this is how i look at it like this people won't find you a tractor right even people that you're not attracted to not even if somebody that you weren't attracted to let's say a larger woman with maybe short hair i don't know your type but that's a good if that person who was of the same sex or not of the same sex of the opposite sex complimented you you still would take the calmly like oh thank you so much i appreciate it and keep it moving i'm not going to like disrespect somebody because they find me attractive like just because like you know my [ __ ] yeah that's a lot i appreciate that man but at the same time at the same time when i say i appreciate that the energy i give off is like i appreciate that but that's i'm not swinging that way right so i don't have to be disrespectful i don't have to call somebody out of their name do all that type of [ __ ] i don't have i'm not everybody on here knows me i don't call scenes i ain't gonna bring no attention to myself i can literally sit down shut down the situation without doing all of that and i'm like bro if you can't stop a person from being attracted to what they're attracted to that that would be ridiculous for me to throw all go all up in arms and flips i don't think you should have went all up and went like none of that it's just you know how you say you're going to do something but you don't really know to use in that situation so i've been like if that ever happened to me i really don't know what i would do i know i ain't gonna i'm not gonna fight nobody doing that crazy because i'm not homophobic and then but like you know feel like bro listen initially initially it was like whoa what the [ __ ] did it yeah but like it was like a record scratch right but then after that it was like [ __ ] still got it let me say something man do you know how ungrateful you sound to hear and ty talking about this this gay man came up and said to hear was handsome and you said oh what about me do you know how it feels to be a man and to have never been approached by a man do you know how hideous you have to feel in life for another man not to say hey man you're cute do you know what i would do to hear hey yo ct you cute fam y'all some ungrateful [ __ ] on this show and i don't want to be a pro no what listen i was i was more toxic than i am now so in my mind like i was a little jealous to hear i was like well i mean why well why would you be jealous of another man giving another man because she didn't get a compliment as a woman that's what you're saying in a toxic phase yeah i was i was i was insecure and i was toxic like this is my truth and i was like i mean his freckles are nice but my edges are late you know what i mean like why you know what i mean but but you know i love i love to hear to hear is listen to here is my dear friend oh [ __ ] hold on it's like you could just meet your mic for a second i will also say please don't dm you i'm just joking i have a lot of un unresponded to dms from guys that are calling me attractive so please realize the timing of the jokes i used to get a lot of women hitting on me and then they got the hint and then i was like cool let me tell you something if you ain't got a man in the next year you might want to respond let me just tell you that right now it's never going to get that deep no matter how tough i am i don't want to see you it's never going to get that deep my plans yesterday lulu was looking so thick i saw the picture he didn't know it was me [ __ ] i didn't know it was her she spoke she was like hey dumb i was like oh [ __ ] i thought you was an instagram model like oh man technically technically lulu is an instagram model do you want to know the truth let me tell you about lulu for those of you guys in the comments they're like oh man lulu i know you're gonna find let me tell you something about a little this is how it all started and maybe 2011 2012 we were leaving the improv on a monday night and donovan had uh it was a chevy something you had this dope ass suv and okay yeah yeah so you had the suv and lulu was like oh yeah where are you about to go everybody go to this little after joint something for the comedians that go after a comedy show right so lulu gets in a car with us so it's donovan's driving it's his car i'm in a passenger seat lulu hops in as we pulling off and as we're riding you know she's a new girl in town and she's you know doing comedy i'm like man she's cute so i'm trying to i'm trying to see what's up with her but not officially shoot my shot you know you trying to get recon and [ __ ] right so i'm like hey um so are you from new york aren't you like yeah yeah from new york and the energy's giving me like is what you get as an ugly dude i'm like who the [ __ ] is she this ugly [ __ ] energy too like i'm cute what the [ __ ] going on right so at the time mind you donovan has always had 16 abs i but i've always been very comfortable in my place in life you understand like i'm like okay i know what the [ __ ] i got between these goddamn legs let me see what's up with baby girl so i say uh so we get into a conversation i'm like oh so you you out here welcome to the city uh you got kids you got a husband with you like oh no i'm single i'm trying to see what's up with some [ __ ] you know what i'm saying but like they got to look a certain way i'm like oh how do they have to look now this is 2012 lulu this ain't 20 20 lulu what she's saying okay 2012 lulu was like yeah you know what i'm saying um first of all in the comments i wasn't married in 2012 so shut the [ __ ] up and listen to the guy uh [ __ ] it's killing me we're tangerine not here [ __ ] up anyway so uh lulu started describing the guys that she's interested in right she describes basically donovan to a t until she says they gotta be light skinned she doesn't like dark skinned dudes and i say what and she's like i like them like skin i like my i'd like my [ __ ] pretty and i was like oh [ __ ] so from that moment on i started to see what she was into so that's that's what that was and who the [ __ ] they just told me the year i got married this i got to get on the wait okay so i remember that and you also gotta remember i've seen okay don't even have loved me the wrong way i first met him as well okay so for me it was also just piggybacking on i don't like dark skin [ __ ] it's basically like a [ __ ] you donald out of it guys exactly so it wasn't i was i was trying to do something because i was toxic it was a double meaning exactly but you also have to remember too i was not in a good place i was coming home from iraq i had ptsd that was un dealt with so all of that's bottled up and it's it's a lot going on so make sense so i was trying to find myself i'm a different person now yeah yeah around that time it was more like a double double donovan's house he's tired of getting abused this evening i don't know what this [ __ ] i'm out of here yeah i was like i'm just so funny because yesterday i said it to donovan too he was doing something and i'm saying damn donovan i hope i can meet a [ __ ] just like you he was like well uh good luck shout out to you for your healing okay thank you thank you you healed and you're you've evolved and that's all people can ask for it you know don't try to be a bad person i feel like every woman says they evolved and they all on this evolving [ __ ] until somebody makes them mad and all that [ __ ] goes out the window and they're right back to being who the [ __ ] they were and i passed today so i know i'm evolving i know i'm moving forward what happened today uh x hit me up who's actually mysteriously coming to la and i'm just like now you coming to l.a now when you wanted him to all those times and he didn't come got you so when you're gonna see him exactly all that [ __ ] you're gonna see that i'm actually not i'm actually not i'm holding my ground to that i'm actually not no here's the question i have for you why did y'all break up if tahir will allow me to ask you that on his show all right why did you break up with this guy because well one he said i he's not really established in his life and i seem to have everything together i know what i want and he's just not there yet and also he lives in new york and he has a child he can't just pick up and leave he's like i can't give you what you want right now and it was years ago right this was like two a year ago so that means that he's gonna come out here he's gonna reach out to you he's gonna feel that you're ghosting him he's gonna tell you look lou i was in a different place last year it was a different me i'm doing great now i'm doing better i would like to see you then you're going to see him that box is going to be backwards i don't go backwards i've nev i've never went backwards i've never redated a guy wait let's let's let's talk about that for a second this ain't going to do this i've got got something to do with lulu but this is more about a women's decision when y'all just say stuff like i'll go backwards so you know guys as men it take us some time to to heal ourselves so maybe something in the past which you kind of already familiar with could be the knight in shining armor but you're going out here with new problems because you want some new some new [ __ ] you know what i'm saying but in the past he come back correctly like listen i was this i was dead yep i apologize i've changed like i just told me she ain't the same person she was a year ago so why can't but you know what but you see how deep in her heart she's always like august 20th 2019 when you get an argument that [ __ ] come back out and i don't want to do that i want new memories i want new i want new memories i don't want those old memories of you not wanting me you not stepping up i want a [ __ ] that see me and be like yo i'm there i'm a step up you realize i hear that i hear that and i respect it but i need you to understand what i'm about to say because this is some knowledge that you need to take with you for the rest of your life okay when you get in a relationship with a man i hope that you find a husband that you are married to for the rest of your life i hope you all together at least 40 years okay now 40 years from now while you're in that relationship with that man you're going to say something that happened in you guys relationship two years in that you haven't gotten over so you might not go back to prior relationships but you will go back to prior pain because you've been with this dude for a significant amount of your life so to say that you won't go backwards is admirable in theory but in reality when you're in a full-on relationship you're going to address things from the past that have given you trauma go ahead okay let me let me let me rephrase it because i agree with everything no no no no no no because i agree with everything that clayton says what i mean by not going back i don't if we broke up and things have moved on and i've gone a different way in my life i don't want to go back that way with you but if we have if you've always been there with me and we decided to get married and of course with that person i don't mind having that situation to grow through with it's somebody that is willing that to to be through life with me that's what i'm willing to do but for a [ __ ] that don't know if you want to be with me and then come and go and no i'm not i'm not doing that with you you're not even husband material so i'm not even gonna do this with you but how can you say he's not husband material if he's changed just like you've changed and now he's ready for that commitment and then all right see if he would have changed he wouldn't hit me with the hey love i'ma be in la this weekend and it'd be great to see you nah [ __ ] if you would have changed you would have hit me up and be like hey man can i talk to you like what's up now i'm coming through for the weekend cause when you tell me you coming through for the weekend that mean you're trying to smash and i'm not doing that not with the extra spit on them i'm not going to entertain that because what you want to see me for the weekend for to see my face you could see me on facebook not not to see your face a little bit you you saw the picture that's your face in the pillow and as soon as i posted it for the weekend what i'm saying is i'm not talking about him specifically but when a man from your past comes back and he knows like this is the woman i was supposed to be with i just wasn't quite ready at that moment with that being said he knows i have to put in some work because of the lack thereof when we first started so don't just count him out like let him put in the work like that's what i'm saying if he if you tell me y'all change and you're putting in the work and i'm seeing the change not just hearing the change that's different but when you when you say you say you change and your actions are still repeating what you've been doing before i'm not entertaining that i'm not but if you're gonna show improve and shut me up i want a [ __ ] to shut me up show me you change let me eat my words i will sit there like a happy little [ __ ] like yes sir yes yes come through come through let's go but if you're not showing me nothing different what am i supposed to do be excited that you text me [ __ ] please okay because i feel like this this could be a deep rabbit hole and uh oh yeah this is great because it's almost 8 o'clock so the flyers i i put out a question like what questions do you want to know from the guests and i did get some questions i actually have a question for each person but i think this question right here would be a good way to open it up um and this one will be post to everyone this one is from ben1084 if entertainment wasn't an option what career path would you have taken damn and i'll go first so you guys can have time to formulate your answers because i already seen them um if it wasn't comedy i probably would be in the music business in some some realm uh either producer or a beat maker or an anr or something of that nature i would be in the music business um i was a teacher for a number of years i taught seventh grade science i taught at a jail out here uh i like teaching people i like helping people but i really feel like that's something that you really have to have a love for doing a passion for doing i like doing it because i was gonna pay 250 today but i didn't have a passion for it um so for me it would be music probably i would be in a music arena in some form if it wasn't for uh comedy if anybody wants to go next you can jump right in also we have 222 people in here we only got 130 likes can we get the likes up to 1200 please just hit the like button real quick while you're watching just hit that like button and then whoever wants to jump in you can jump in i think i kind of i kind of did mine already um because if it wasn't for entertainment i think i would still uh be in the military um i actually i loved being in the military it's everything that was with the military that i did not like i love the friendships that i made the the skills i acquired i like i i could shoot any weapon that was my thing so i love the aspect of like being around guns bringing being around friends and getting paid for it so uh i think i if not that if i wouldn't do that again i would definitely be a lawyer um i love to debate i love to argue and i love to uh get my homies off so not like that i didn't say anything i know you clayton as soon as i said it i saw your face [Laughter] i'm gonna let the next person go but real quick i see everybody saying outside of entertainment i get that they said outside of entertainment guys but i was thinking that they were where where are y'all seeing the comments that because i don't i don't know we opened up two windows donovan uh youtube yeah they've been at the first beginning of the hour they were definitely having a lot to say about you but i'm glad you apologized and uh definitely going in on this place you're my [ __ ] brother bro um when i was talking about a r and stuff like that it's not a lot of a rs that you know and outside of like maybe six producers six to ten producers you're not naming a lot of producers let's be honest about it so even though it says entertainment outside of entertainment i feel like producers beat makers and a rs are outside of the the the wide lens of entertainment people don't really know all of the people's names like that so that's why i say in on the and things of that nature because it's still entertainment but y'all don't really [ __ ] with them like that let's be completely honest with it uh ty davis i think you're about to go next um yeah so before i entered into entertainment i was a fraud analyst at a bank and i was often on pursuing i'm sorry i don't want you to be interrupting could you mute your uh window donovan that you have open the youtube just mute that all right go ahead please clayton you say oh no on another one no you say another one hey listen my computer froze i'm like oh [ __ ] can i hear me i'm so sorry ty davis please start from the beginning so we can get the whole thing ty davis go ahead okay you still coming full time go ahead so um before i started entertainment i was a fraud analyst at a bank and i was pursuing my degree in uh secondary english education and human resource management so with the whole quarantine i've gone back to school to finish that so if entertainment wasn't on the table then i would get my doctorate in english and teach kids and open up like my account my my counseling center and coaching businesses and just you know help people you know to write better you know to critically analyze and think better in terms of writing i would still write books and stories and and stuff like that so that's that's what i would be doing but i'm still going to do it even if i make it so hey what's up i i dig it um uh ct oh donovan whoever wants to go next let's go uh well it's very this is gonna sound like a very uh ridiculous answer but it's something that has been the truth in my heart i've always enjoyed helping people um so i would have leaned towards wanting to be a teacher or a lawyer a criminal defense lawyer but in actuality i didn't really enjoy school like that i enjoyed um doing things on my own and having my own type of boss behaviors where i didn't have to answer to anybody i think people who have jobs are amazing because it's like a routine you're also able to climb but i have such a problem with authority um i actually would have enjoyed being a barber like i've tried several things under the comedy umbrella like when i got to la being super broke i spent like a hundred dollars on barber equipment like uh liners and uh clippers and i would give comedians haircuts for like half the price so like if the price of a haircut was twenty dollars i would be like hey man give me ten just because i need to go buy groceries in an hour or something uh so i would have probably enjoyed being a barber um like i told you what was in my heart which is to be a teacher but in actuality i probably would like being a barber and i've always had a very big fixation with porn i used to really want to be a porn star in my early 20s because like i was having sex with these women and i was having so much fun and they were having fun and it was like yo this could be a movie i felt like i could create like a better storylines than a porn that i saw on the dvds like i felt like i could give real storylines and come up with stuff but then the only thing that stopped me was i needed my mother to be able to see what i was doing with my life too no no no no that's entertainment that's your mother got screen shots of your dick like that's my baby dick right there do you know that dick look at it look how big and look at it like this like here's so this is the truth bro this is honest to god i was so interested in porn that when i like i'm out here in l.a and i'm doing comedy i ended up dating a couple of porn stars and literally just trying to see how i measured up in comparison to the guys that they worked with and 10 times out of 10 they said yo you will be great important i said i knew it i knew i'd be continuing that's so entertaining my point is lulu and this is gonna sound this is to bring it all home this is full circle everything that i've ever set my mind to i have been successful at so i say that to everybody who's watching you can do whatever you truly believe you want to do yeah i also wanted to be at emt to here i wanted to save dicks i just wanted to teach the dicks that's awesome oh my god save a dick save a life i thought this was a safe space to hear and you're telling me that it's not and i don't i don't feel comfortable you're good friends baby wait wait wait time out but ct you there's no judge you could do anything but you never did it well i technically got the unofficial accomplish of being a porn star by having dated a couple porn stars equivalent to a friend saying i'm not a comedian but my homie ct say i'm funny as [ __ ] and that i could be on tv but i just don't want to do it i told you you're trying to do at least one point now you can put it out there so you got to do it i'm gonna go search on xnxx and pornhub for clayton thomas i'ma just put ct let me just tell you you better pop up [ __ ] you don't tell people you could do anything and you ain't out here fulfilling your dreams i'm just saying that i'm glad that my iphone from 2014 was never hacked i'll just say that and i'm good [Laughter] wow donovan go ahead go ahead don't even let ct come back in just go ahead um awesome entrepreneur on some entrepreneurship what i would be doing if i wasn't in inside entertainment um i realized a long time ago i can't work for nobody and i mean absolutely nobody um i've had five jobs my whole life and i have been fired from five jobs five not quit not let go [ __ ] you fired yeah and that could eat that one person but i'm the person who looks at the you know the silver lining the light in the sky and i was like you just supposed to work for yourself i felt like you would be good at construction donovan yeah so you like it with a construction site like with the little orange vest on and the hat and the timbs yeah i could see that no none of that so what i will be doing and i i'm probably about to start doing this as well but i would be in the weed business so yes i would be the distributor for different states who are just now getting their license to where distributor district yeah um i i always want you winning brothers distributor what did he say you said distributors yeah yeah that's what i said i'm the distributor i'm stand by distributor that's the [ __ ] don't keep saying it though so distributed that's the uk way of saying it don't don't mind clayton go ahead okay the queen's english he's speaking the queen's english is what you're telling me i don't think they say it like that over there they don't say it like that oh hey donovan [ __ ] [ __ ] you know high fashion i feel like i would have my own that's still entertainment it's closing louder entertainment no that's what's happening i just had podcasts no he's in hot fashion oh yeah yeah distributor that you ain't meant to be playing where you got that go to distributor right there yeah he he you keep saying it it's not like he distribute and he debates at the same time right maybe he's distributing negotiating at the same time yeah i see you donovan donovan i got to get you on word this hard bro yes oh my god but hey to hear you know what's crazy what when i asked you let me be on the show on august 19 2019. he was what he was yeah now i gotta find the picture oh that guy oh [ __ ] anyway what you saying donovan when i asked you i was like yo i want to be on the show that's the show i was talking about [Laughter] [Music] when i saw the flyer i was like the [ __ ] is this and what you mean i was ready shows out there you got to be basically i didn't i i was watching one i was watching the one with you and big job i was like damn this [ __ ] funny bro like i hit you as i'm watching it like i want to be on your show then you see me to fly for this [ __ ] i was like [Laughter] around to this day claims episode of burning his heart is still one of my top three favorite if you have not seen it yeah i swear to god do yourself a favor and go watch it i've had everybody on the show i'm talking about lesbians ghetto um tristan winger kevin on stage doughboy um goddamn tony but everybody everybody still top three clayton [ __ ] thomas man that episode it set the bar ct it set the [ __ ] bar and that was my first day of filming my very first show ever thought produced created and it like it was one of my favorites still to this day bro like i thank you tremendously because it was amazing bro it was it was a [ __ ] great time bro well on september 21st 2020 i'm asking you to hear can i be on word and with friends i ain't gonna never forget three months i have i'll have three months worth of episodes in the can right now oh i probably working working i won't be filming again to november maybe december however i will create another film day to get you and donovan on if you guys commit right now yeah i'll be out distributed i'm saying it jesus okay i will i will i will figure out another film date and i will do the episode with you and lulu i would get that not the distributor just open it i'ma just let y'all know though clayton is in the top three so if you're trying to compete with him don't do it just go home come on and just be good just have fun and shout out tomorrow shout out to my beautiful wife erin moore because she found all the words can i show you guys for the show i don't wait you got you can't you ain't in the dude you're the host and i'm in the wrong show is shout out to my beautiful wife and more for finding all the words on the show people hit me up in my inbox like yo you should use this word i'm like you should have sent it to farren i don't find the words i can't know the words because that would be unfair send all the words that you want on the show to fair and more at fairmore instagram blow her inbox up because y'all be more my [ __ ] up and if i see the word is not fair so blow her [ __ ] up at f a f-a-r-r-e-n-b-r-w-o no b-r-o-w-n no wait is he fan more fair and brown experiment this guy yeah because she she ain't take my last name legally so like if i leave today she ain't getting [ __ ] damn oh she's still gonna get it you're right yeah remember i have i have immigrant parents so a lot of words as well fanboy f-a-r-r-e-n-m-o-o-o-r-e hit her up with the words that you guys have because she's the one that finds all the words and she sends it directly to the producer i don't see any of the words so if you guys want words that won't that you want to be on her hit her up because she's the one that finds the worst she's cause if you thought she wasn't gonna get nothing you said well distributed was gonna make sure she got she distributed words why doesn't she have your last name it's been a long time brother what's going on she um she about to leave on paper on her on her her driver's license and and insurance it's still brown okay here's the thing here's the thing i ain't tripping off of it like i don't change i ain't one other people like yo you gotta help my leg i don't care like okay you know what it is i know she should go to sleep at every night i don't know social i know social security card i know if i want to commit fraud i got everything i need to to commit fraud in her name i don't know for that [ __ ] and plus bro she get out she know the account she get all the money and all that [ __ ] i just i don't trip off that [ __ ] okay but you know i just want to know can we pause for a small commercial break hi my name is donovan jordan and if you out there getting me getting that money getting that paper and you your own distributor go to donovan joyce.com and get your distributor shirt distributor there you go right there that doesn't even look like a d that looks like a heart upside down with a broken string period [ __ ] like robin hood signed your shirt man like right there there you go that's what's up so farron brown uh she's doing her thing and she's also fair more what is the tie for what is ty short for if i may ask it's true for tyanna oh i like tyann i've never met a tiana that's pretty why don't do you go by tyanna davis or you just do ty davis uh i go by ty davis you know i like talking today you know he has fire that is fire well the the problem with it is it's like when i when i started stand up i was going by tyanna davis and [ __ ] can't read and i got tired of people saying my name wrong and i was like you know what i mean so it was like [ __ ] like it's five letters t-y it's high and then it's a a anna like what are we doing and people would be like tawanna coming to the stage tanya yeah the a in the end ain't even at the beginning fam like i hate it here so i just was like that's why i shortened my name too because people was [ __ ] up my name but i think as long as i'm gonna bring it back because i'm gonna make you i'm gonna [ __ ] say my name correctly yeah i mean i love how you brought lord is as opposed to what they call you lords or something yeah lords yeah that's the american white-washed way if you can roll the argument definitely every time i roll the r's i feel like every laden person is looking at me like you [ __ ] i just feel like we're silently judging and we and we giggle it when [ __ ] [ __ ] up like this i'm like i'm not doing it the thing that i love most about the show is that most of the people i invite on i have a personal experience with everybody um lulu we've we've had some some some chill times together but we never like really hung out extensively um but we have some great laughs together for filming that 80d and other things like that ty davis we got the the the marriott story with old boy yeah donovan we got the um uh what's a kia story and and clayton thomas we have the [ __ ] the avengers movie on top of a number of other things but the avengers movie we we were in a movie theater from like 10 in the morning to like seven at night because we watched all of the marvel movies up until the first the first movie of the avengers they played all all of the marvel movies up into the into the like the coming of adventures and it was like it was dope as hair bro we were in the movies of a very long time we they had a break we everybody went to go get food or get liquor or whatever cocaine whatever whatever dude okay yeah we were literally in the movies from like 10 a.m to 7 p.m that was fun it was a great time man it was man well here's the funny thing i like to look back at those moments like everything with the friends that are in my life to this day when we got to be friends was like we were all trying to figure it out we were all broke and struggling and wanting to create a fan base and you know be successful and now you know 95 of those friends are doing just that and you know the other five percent you know just didn't want it and that's not our fault you know what i mean but uh they didn't want it we just blessed clayton remember when we used to movie hop we let me tell you clayton clayton thomas would never tell you guys ladies gentlemen but i want to tell you clayton clinton's he's well off all right he's doing it right for himself brother i remember when we used to movie hot when we were going to the movie theaters at at 10 and and this is this is before you were married but tanz was still with us and we'd be in the movies from like 10 in the morning to like four or five in the afternoon at universal at amc 17 and burbank and like now it's like uh y'all stayed in the movies who can we have to go pick up our tickets oh yeah bro it's so diff because now everybody is so busy like you have to literally schedule time which of like every time i've seen to hear in the past maybe year and a half actually i'll take that back because we've got to forget that this year didn't happen so the past two and a half years before this day i've had to be like yo man are you available this day to hang out you'd be like yeah and then they come and i might be like hey man let's switch like something came like whatever it's just like being so busy to see your friends is a gift and a curse man yeah that's a question ct you said this you didn't count so if you had sex with somebody this year not you per se but in general does that does that count or does that not count oh it doesn't count no this didn't happen no as long as they know baby attached to you huh ct is the most politically correct person that's a fact that's why after [ __ ] [ __ ] if you got pregnant that [ __ ] would account so but i didn't though but the baby on the pads it counted lulu that don't count i don't know i mean that's not true cause i got babies and they don't count don't want to count something they'll always be like that [ __ ] was wack that don't count it was too little that don't count if i can't feel it it don't count it past the threshold if i gotta ask you are you in it don't count bro that don't count what happened what happened how did you call me with count hold on you could come by yourself that don't count when you in the room really count nah because you could be beating up and i'm in the corner that don't count i can't i'm we slept together no if you see my dick account it's the minute my dick about you didn't even got to be in person the minute i sent you a dick pic we just told you so i know i don't know what you started with this year but you want to add that something to it add that seven boom something let me take out something this is this is one of the joys of zooming with the homies bro nobody here is you know in the movies and [ __ ] like that but this low-key actually high key high key one of my favorite shows top five i would say this show right here because everything is so natural everything is real everything is so organic this [ __ ] is fire bro and i never say that on my shoulders like yo this is popping this [ __ ] is popping [ __ ] y'all crazy as [ __ ] man bro that [ __ ] let me tell you something man i just got one i'm trying to erase real quick but i'm the only racer anyway he's a wrong lulu let me give you some science this is and i've said this before and this is not ty davis this is science you can go look it up the human body replaces all of its cells every cell that makes up the human body in seven years so essentially it's like if you've had sex with someone it's like credit if you've had some sex with someone over seven years ago technically the body that you have now they didn't [ __ ] man [Music] let me write where's the link here y'all keep on saying this [ __ ] about it write this [ __ ] down that's it science you can google it it's brilliant where's the link remember back in 2000 actually i don't because it's not the same body yo like i hate when dudes like try to bring up that they hit before they be like yeah you know i used to [ __ ] her like the answer the question that you need to ask yourself bruh is can you [ __ ] me now like [ __ ] be trying to get points for some [ __ ] that they had but can you get it again what's your repeater rate fam what's that what's your repeater rate what is it that's definitely 72 percent are you 13 cause there's one like 100 chicks how many of the 100 have you [ __ ] again that's all i'm saying facts facts so that's why i'm saying he don't count thank you ty davis yo cause like my body count like it's it's practically zero again yo mine is yo i wish i would have had seven for 20 20. it was it was like negative seven but i could i could round up i'm gonna round up and i'm gonna just erase that and i'm again when the sales reproduce they sell right and they'll do sales does that box change is it better or is it you can roll the mouse back on the odometer you know ah i actually i actually had surgery or yeah just a good idea it was previously uncertified you know it's fair it's a kelly blue book it's a kelly blue book status you know what i'm saying here so you got the whole fact is still low i mean like for me like for instance i have two children i have a 25 year old and a 16 year old my baby daddies don't even count fam them [ __ ] don't even count no more like who are they i don't know you got a 25 year old child yeah yeah you look wait i don't know i thought you were 25 yeah yeah i had two girls um she was 30. so well black don't crack and i was a teen mom so you know listen people keep saying that we should have a um zooming with the homies after dark but i'm like what will we talk about that we don't already talk about you say we already talked about the [ __ ] here well i'll tell you this here answer your question um like from my patreon i do the real ct at the dark so it's not the the facebook and youtube live the talk show it's the it's not that we literally only talk about sex i bring in about five women and i have uh two other guys other than myself and we talk about some of the wildest things these young ladies are into and have done and it's a good time so uh that's probably what you would do it's a good time it's a good time let me say something it's so completely out of control that i have to have it behind a patreon paywall that's how crazy it is okay i love that i think about it because you know here's the thing man i'm one of those people like i don't shy away from anything that i i've done like i embrace it fully but i value loyalty trust and anonymity more than anything like an anonymity that's what i'm saying i'm gonna let them happen i'm just trying to help i'm a citizen bro when i walk down the street and i see a crime being committed i try to help okay so when i see somebody committing a crime to the english language not talking about you here i'm just saying overall it's second nature for me to throw my cape on and try and save the day but i'm gonna you watch too much [ __ ] batman this is you are not batman by the english language my [ __ ] coming like with your verbal batmobile come on man come on i just feel like sometimes we should let you hear oh let's just have some of them yo listen look at the look look at the uh the chat and all the hate times going right now that's that's where we listen kevin stage started this thing when whenever i messed up a word he goes through his ear like a sports announcer like hey tom listen and if you look at the the chat right now on youtube it says hey tom hey tom hey tom hey tom hey tom hey somebody what's happening and that's exactly what it is i cannot get away from it it's because you did it to donovan with distributor they hate time the [ __ ] out of you and then they did they they did they hit it but he didn't know what was going on i know what hey time means and i just want to let y'all know players [ __ ] up too i ain't [ __ ] up i meant what i said [Music] you tell tom i said distributed and i raised you a distributor i love the comments it's one of my favorite shows dog like you couldn't plan this [ __ ] i thank god that man i got some of the dopest friends the fact that i'm having so much fun and i'm on the wrong show i seen him grab like an actual light to put in front i was like oh he don't know what the [ __ ] is happening huh this is he just showed up you just got here when i saw the fly and i was like the [ __ ] is this then i was like how do you get out of some [ __ ] you asked to be [Laughter] [ __ ] but think about it it's it was a benefit to you donovan because the universe has placed you right here where you were supposed to be at this moment nowhere else for about 10 more minutes man thank you i'm looking back on the text thread that i had with donovan say what i got to do to get on your show i like it laughing face laughing face i say i got you how's monday work this is on thursday how's monday work he said back let's do it exclamation mark he was ready right i said perfect shoot me an email in your headshot shot me emails in the headshot he hit me this morning i was like 12 in the morning he's like yo we still shooting more i said yes sorry coming in hot hot with the with the flight i sent him a flyer for today he was like no response when i tell you that it was no response until he just sent his cash app right there look this is the flyer that was that was literally this morning and then he just sent his cash at right there that lets you know that he was not kidding he didn't know that he was getting booked did not know you know and donovan i found the picture just in case you needed a visual this is this is this is from the evening um to which we encountered one another i don't know if y'all can see it that that good but um i looked the [ __ ] good i did not look like a dude this is what i'm saying that's not what i was saying in no way shape or form or fashion it's just cause i was like that was rude i was cute as [ __ ] that night he was like the only girl in a group of dudes no it was me it was me and another girl there it was me another girl and then the rest was all dudes she must look more like a dude than you because jonathan said you were the only female there yeah yeah i'm just really scared that i'm gonna leave this show saying distributor just did it no i don't wanna i don't wanna do it i don't wanna say it wrong out in public in front of people because they be judgy as [ __ ] outside so i thanks donovan look i just wanna say this man i'm reading the comments i love all the love you guys have given me but i have to acknowledge this to hear you're a fellow brother who's married please stop thinking that because i am married to an amazing woman a beautiful woman in tangerine that two things number one that i am not [ __ ] i've already said i ain't [ __ ] on several occasions for several years of my life number two that just because i'm married i don't get to make comments and have eyes and see beautiful [ __ ] women just like she sees attractive men y'all really condem men when they get married like soon as you like oh lulu you looking good as hell tonight hold on ain't ct mary god damn can i comment on a beautiful woman it's not like i said hey yo hey lulu can i send you a dick pic right after this and even if i did i've already said hey guys i'm not [ __ ] y'all should never expect anything good out of me is what i'm trying to tell you honestly tangerine will tell me i look good before you do that's a fact but here's the thing we're not talking about sandra let's get back to you i'm gonna hold the same tangerine bat as a [ __ ] dog this is not what we're here for we're talking about me okay she's gonna be on zombie with the homies another time we're focused on clayton thomas okay donovan i'll shoot the [ __ ] out of you i'm talking about okay guys you guys are focusing your attention on the wrong place i'm talking about me and y'all bringing up this and this is why this divorce is about to get signed you understand me because people like y'all keep on acknowledging that but she come on zombie with the homies i don't see no mentions of ct y'all exactly the [ __ ] out you understand me uh are you intense you're gonna do only fans no what the [ __ ] i'm rich i don't need to do no goddamn anything i'm not gonna look like no 12 minutes ago hey brother clayton is well off and he was like wait hey yeah i remember oh i remember oh [ __ ] come on brother what are we doing hey remember that i like that that's like something that [ __ ] said i'm rich i don't need no only fans yes from the perspective and i'm saying you need the money bro i'm saying here you can fulfill your dreams and get the money bro i've already fulfilled my dream of being a type of porn star by dealing with porn stars in the past that is not what they said there was no money on the line they had no reason to lie to me there was no money that's fair ego listen lulu what i'm trying to tell you is when money is involved people lie to you if you're a man you're paying a woman's bills and you smash her and you leave 500 or whatever price you all agreed upon on the nightstand and she cuz i don't know what y'all discuss if you leave that amount of money on her nightstand and she says to you oh my god that was so good i can't even walk she's lying to you but if you caught the bus to her house like i did back in them days and you smash out and then you get it in and she says oh my god you you could do porn that is the truth you understand i'ma let you have that ct i ain't gonna take that away from you i'm gonna let you have that that [ __ ] basically somebody just put it in the comments like he basically said i'm rich just you know i left well below my means and i'm i'm very blessed now i know ct rich i'm not saying he need to do anything for the money i'll just try and give the people what they want and the people wanting a little loving from together that [ __ ] would be popular that's what i'm saying man you could even do little stuff like i don't know put a sock on your dick and then she's standing up and she holding the cookie i don't know man i don't know why though listen that is very visual and it seems like you've thought of this before what i will say is i'm just saying yeah you know i'm just creative i'm a creative content creator this is number one why i wouldn't do and only fans can you imagine my self-esteem when i pull out this elephant trunk and show the world that i'm out here killing it and i'm expecting all the comments from women to be like oh my god and all of the comments are like oh my god tanja's body is gold i'm gonna be like [ __ ] what about my dick it's what i like how would y'all separate because i would imagine most of the posts would be together but if you posted a pitch of just your dick and she posted a pic of just her tits or something like that right would y'all try to separate the money from each post no he would listen that's so much first of all we're talking about a lot of ego that i'm not ready to you know what conversation sandrine i have on a regular basis we have a regular basis she says you should have gotten with this type of girl because you don't like x y and z and i'm like after like the first we've been married for six years we've been together for almost 11 years so the first four or five years i should be like you know what tangent don't ever say anything like that i love you so much you are my heart you're my soul you're my queen the last five years she says i'm like you needed to be with this i'm like you absolutely right if you get the [ __ ] out of here i could go get that person and you can go get your king is what i'm trying to tell you but what i can't do we can't get rid of each other because now there's money involved wants it okay do you think she loves me no she don't love me she see where i'm going okay it's a great storyline for a porno though it's like she don't really love me but she got the money and i got the money [Music] what we do want to see since you're single lulu and there's gonna be no repercussions why don't you start at only fans tonight oh the call drop that's crazy that's why i didn't want to start i didn't want to know the only right now he's so checked out of this conversation this [ __ ] is on postmates and he think i don't know every time this [ __ ] i start glazing over it i see the screen tape i see the light changing on his face i was like this [ __ ] scrolling what what what you ordering [ __ ] ice cream hey what you don't notice is the camera keep keep yo i can't deal with y'all tonight hey listen let me tell you what's going on since i'm on the wrong show i didn't know the wrong show went this long it said it on the flyer he didn't read the flyer after he saw it say zoom in instead of wording but what do you got to do donovan um we got 20 minutes left you know [ __ ] lying what do you say uh you're looking out what you doing you want to put a microphone and everything what you doing he either lying or he he he got some set up he got somebody outside and he like hold on give me 20 minutes i'll be done 20 minutes he don't want to bring them up in front of the camera while we still live that's what it is so he's telling her to go get some food and some cough syrup because he don't want her to come in front of the camera [ __ ] slick see i'm a gentleman i i have a home with a porch and she's sitting on the porch you didn't even let her inside you couldn't let her sit on the sofa don't be touched boys and i don't this is working just turn your camera off turn the camera off real quick and then bring it in i was on that flyer that you know no uh-uh if she wants to join the conversation she has a smart phone she knows the link she'll be all right you damn that sounds very august 20th 2019-ish that's all i'm saying it's very august 20th it's he like i'm a better [ __ ] but sit your eyes on she's still gonna give you some [ __ ] after she sat on the porch yes because women enjoy not here's what y'all to understand this is where you're about to get the unpolitical you better get the true me right now okay women go ahead donovan because you might save me um or not again say what you just said is she still going wet she's still gonna give you some [ __ ] after she's been sitting on that porch the question is am i still gonna give her this dick boy don't know why one dick like that you just crazy that's the question apparently she do cause i still don't know god damn porch wait for no [ __ ] porridge fam like i'm not sitting on no porch like how long have you ladies been single instead of sitting on a porch waiting on some let me tell you something right now ladies ladies i am i am positive that i already know that lulu is an amazing woman tai there is no doubt in my mind now knowing that you're a two-time mother that there's no doubt on my how amazing you are okay you got two beautiful children you're doing your thing you're a strong woman lulu you have your career you're so so successful you have so much financial blessings in your life so many financial blessings in your life i will say this that bed get cold as [ __ ] okay ladies all you got to do is put your [ __ ] ass on the porch for two hours while this brother can go talk to his friends and zoom with his goddamn people don't even want to be on the show [ __ ] man so now you know the priorities right he don't know what day it is or what show he about to be on i sit on a goddamn porch like [ __ ] is acting like women don't know how to make themselves come like i when did this become a thing like i'd rather be single i'd rather be sick she's sitting on the porch like i'm just saying like i'd watch how happy she gonna be in an hour and a half she's gonna be that happy that he's gonna [ __ ] out he's gonna get none of that the [ __ ] out donovan ain't waking up to her or who's to say that she won't sleep over don't condemn your circumstances in the past so with this young ladies he's sending her the [ __ ] home how y'all know she didn't leave to go get underneath she's on the watch how y'all know she sitting on the bus how y'all know that boy she's well the reason i know is because um on august 20th 2019 like [ __ ] ain't even want to speak back so that's all i'm saying like i said hey how are you and he was like updated and then went can i shut you down real quick i need you to listen to what i'm about to say okay just hear me out go ahead you know what the problem is ty and this is helping me understand everything that is going on in the show thus far you've condemned donovan for over an hour and a half about 2019's mistake he's apologized you didn't let it go you can bring it up number two you said to donovan hey send me 25 an hour and a half ago hey todd have you checked your cash app if you haven't cause i'm engaged you should check your cash app right now and read the one that you'll see aloud read the message attached you know did he tell you he said ty just open the cash app read the message that you have allowed i got a message she gonna get a t-shirt that says august 20th 2019 is it from distributor where's who are you opening the cash app get one of the kids to tell you to open how to cash after you scroll over so you can get messages oh [ __ ] is it that it's it'll be attached to the donation oh it's too okay uh oh okay what does this say nice okay it's said for don don's redemption and who's it from it is from clayton thomas okay so you got 25 from me that says for don don's redemptions which i will explain his nickname later but that was to settle it and to give you not only you down with some redemption but also give you the peace that you felt that you deserve and let alone you've never even saw it until i told you why are you covering in the days now oh you was booking having a good time real quick real quick i i just i just want to say that one time i was sitting on the sidewalk with some other comics and donovan was walking up towards us and i said to donovan hey donovan how you been he looked at me he's like i thought she's one of them other [ __ ] with freckles on and then he walked away and i just wanna i mean if 25 is just floating around i just want to put that out there i mean donovan you never did pay me for it on pictures i took of you yesterday i mean i just want to put that out because it looks like the [ __ ] is just floating around aimlessly i'm gonna give it a direction if it flows aimlessly yeah and i usually charge about a hundred dollars uh clayton i mean uh donovan wait for my services that i've been had for these pictures i've taken for donovan let's go don clayton yeah i i appreciate you brother please call me uh-huh i appreciate you sending the video i'm not whoa don't agree to that donovan we know this [ __ ] before the money hide the beautiful black queen but now let's go back to the contract at hand and what i said i said when i see you see you you did i will get you dinner he did give you twenty five dollars she said right word was see you not send you that's the [ __ ] because we ain't quarantined can i answer why this even happened because i see the comments asking you let me tell you why i sent that i sent that because as every man who happens to be married knows once you can see a potential problem that means an hour and a half ago i saw her continuing to make this man feel bad an hour and a half later it doesn't feel bad i said what would happen if i just sent this woman 25 and redemption of my dear friend to see if she number one would even see it number two would ever stop bringing it up and i was right on both accounts that she did not see it and she was not bringing it up let me make sure i have this clear um ct it was a challenge because because and and i already said in an eloquent speech that i'm good i i feel like donovan and i are good here and that's cool but he said distributor 900 times everyone else said i thought that's what we were doing but i won't say anymore actually i'm completely i was just bullying yeah you're too little bullying but i'm sure i don't want it to come off as bullying or anything you are ty you are an amazing woman who happens to be black you understand me you are a powerful woman i'm gonna say the only reason that i did that far exceeds your goodness it is to show how much of a person that i ain't [ __ ] that's what i've been trying to tell y'all for an hour is i did this because of my pettiness okay proof points that wasn't petty that was nice of you to do that on behalf of donald well i hope you enjoy it baby girl i'm just talking about overall of donovan like i need clayton to pay my i don't feel like you do bro i'm gonna pay your debts for this please i mean i appreciate it i do and like like i said like it's it's you know it's not a thing like now if i hadn't had this opportunity to like talk to you like on this and like we saw each other and like you would somebody be like oh this is ty davis davis daughter i'd have been like i'd hit him with it to hear more tommy davis and [ __ ] i don't [ __ ] with him but now we're in a good place and we don't have to do that because donovan is a nice guy and ct is a nice guy and you know it's cool like donovan let me say this let me say this real quick tommy davidson never got [ __ ] on what donovan did okay not a goddamn thing tommy davidson to this day i still don't [ __ ] with okay like there's nothing that he could do like if y'all had a conversation like donovan and i had a conversation so i have a question tommy davidson bro cause any time [ __ ] get hectic clayton cuts his camera off he tries to go to wait listen brother i've asked clayton to leave this is my personal feelings my personal feelings toward tommy davidson all right that's that my words only speak for me none of my guests [ __ ] tommy davidson that's just my personal my personal thing come on now is donovan gonna give ct back 25 how does that work no he's not so we we're at 8 50 it's 10 minutes before the show wraps up ladies and gentlemen it's been a fantastic one question huh asks us one question oh me well here's the thing donovan the [ __ ] the [ __ ] grows legs and sword walking us on dynamite and that's what it is everybody that's done the show before already knows that and you would have known that you would have known that if this was so that you really wanted to be on and i appreciate y'all for having me um my clothes is the closing remarks of what we doing now not yet not yet damn um so basically this is what we're gonna do so uh in the last 10 minutes what we do i'm coming i'm coming we do all the thank yous we do all the things that we got coming up and we do all of uh all the things that you got that you want people to check out okay so that's that's basically what we do so i'll i'll have a couple of people go before you so that way you can kind of get it down pack and then we'll close out so let's go lulu donovan and then ty davis oh does that mean girl yep oh [ __ ] okay [ __ ] i'ma slow the [ __ ] up now you can let that [ __ ] wait don't be rushing me uh-oh like i was saying you could catch me every monday through friday on the caffeine network at 2pm pst hosting the daily show with brandon brody call the fix you can catch me on my channel tuesdays thursdays and saturdays streaming from 5 p.m streaming video games call of duty avengers uh injustice 2 all that good stuff and uh yeah catch me on instagram at lulu lulu underscore gonzalez have you leveled up your avengers yet or did you even get the game lulu yeah i got the game i'm playing um the the story mode right now though ah [ __ ] okay i know because i want to get this i'm on playstation 2 bro i don't even know about playstation so i'm trying to figure it out but i got you i got i made sure we go we don't know all right you let me know um lulu did anybody bless you in the cash after that you want to get yourself i've been engaged i haven't been uh been looking but let's see let's check it out um oh yeah no oh wow oh hey guys uh marvin xavier guy sandra jawan jose brandon jensen kevin timothy gregory dominic uh yeah thanks guys and yeah somebody else i don't know okay i've got my glasses on so cool uh what you got for me you say me yeah oh brother i'm going last i thought we talked about this there so we've been over this has happened too many times uh ty or donovan whatever you guys want to go ahead um okay yeah you want to go donovan go ahead ty you you're so beautiful i'd love to hear you speak go ahead oh you so sweet shut up thank you [Laughter] um first of all uh thank you to to hear for having me on um again i love doing zooming with the homies um shout out to the mormonts you know what i'ma do for y'all cause you know that we got that understanding because y'all look out um to all of the people in the comments that um may have felt that i was being a dick or being a [ __ ] i apologize that was not my intent um i i feel like i'm a nice lady but you know whatever um i do want to thank uh the people that have sent me cash up things and let me just scroll down the thing here okay here we go um so thank you to walter dominic is that t la tre if i say your name's wrong charge it to my head not my heart um derek ariana tisha dequandra zay monet jensen beer jedi that's an interesting name um timothy damond or daemon and clayton thomas who i adore and i think you're hilariously funny and my cousin jerel burton is a huge fan and he was so honored to meet you uh to nicole jose brandon marlon is that adro adro um sandra chay ernestine crystal damien xavier walter and marlon thank you guys so much um again thank you to um to here for putting me in the position to be able to meet and connect with other comics that i haven't had the opportunity to see yet uh you guys can follow my instagram i have a podcast called lost and found and um you know i'll be i'll be on live and i'll be talking about stuff so hey y'all and um donovan i say this with love in my heart i am good i i i appreciate your openness and and your willingness um to be a great communicator in distributor in uh helping me to heal from an issue that that i had with you in the past but we could and um so yeah that's that well all right down down you you see how it goes um you can either tell people what you got coming up first where they can find you first or uh you can thank the people via cash out first it's up to you okay todd well first i just want to say thank you for that that was that was amazing and we're friends now and being friends with donovan's comes with a lot of benefits not those kind of benefits but like you'll see like you have nothing to worry about thus far so um i want to say this one time this is a short story one time i was in this hotel room my homeboy had hit me he's like yo i'm at hotel i'm at room 1420. i was like okay cool and then i go in the hotel room i go to 1420 i knock on the door they open the door it's a big ass party going on i'm like damn wait what my homeboy is i call him and so he's like no i didn't say 14 20. i said 16 20. so i was like [ __ ] well i'm just gonna chill here so basically i'm telling y'all this story is cause that's how the [ __ ] i feel doing this today i didn't plan this i walked in the wrong room and i had an amazing time so um donovan jordan everything was handled donovan jordan across the board instagram facebook blah blah blah um i'm back on social media i had took a hiatus for a while so i just got a web series on uh facebook i got a tv show i'm shooting i'll let hollywood stuff i'm not really good at talking about myself i'm a great guy uh just hard to cross the threshold um so if you ever see me out speak i won't speak back the first time i promise i got you and it's benefits it comes with a lot it might you know give you some money or something but i just i just can't be giving all this good energy to to people and hollywood has ruined me and that's it's [ __ ] up because i used to be doing all of this i had to put my personal side outside too i thought he was just saying goodbye like like you're writing memoirs out here okay since i've been criticized yet again i'm just gonna say bye [ __ ] thank you all right are you coming yeah uh i'll say this in closing uh the don don story uh which i did not get to was uh in like 2012 i believe donovan and bt and doughboy were roommates and they all lived like three houses down for me i only moved in that apartment at the time because my friends were living so close i'm like man this would be so dope living uh close to them and uh i went over there one day with my laptop and i come outside you know to do something and i come back in and i look at my playlist on my itunes at the time and i saw a playlist that said don don's mix and i say who the [ __ ] is don don right so donovan picked up the names like oh yeah that's me i want to uh because i'm getting that same computer i want to make sure i knew how to do it i say you refer to yourself as danda from that moment on it was the funniest [ __ ] in the world to me the fact that he calls himself don died so ever since then i got to get a brother respect and i called him. so uh that was that and uh always to hear man like doing this show is so dope because i get a chance to actually kick it with you and create content with you at the same time which is two birds and one stone always when you have such a good friendship um i love doing the show because i always end up getting you know somebody who hit me randomly hey i saw you on zooming with the homies and i'm like i also have other social media yeah [Laughter] and it shows how big the show is man and you have earned every right people love you we all love you that's how you're able to easily get yeses from people who want to kick it with you four to five times a week even more because you do other shows um you're my brother you already know that lulu always a [ __ ] pleasure i love to see everything you're doing your body's immaculate i hate that you don't like dark skinned [ __ ] thai i love basking [ __ ] not spreading that rumor lulu i'm i'm speaking to tonight i i want to tell you that you are hilarious uh this whole episode you have been so funny that it has been an honor to meet you i hope when the world opens back up we get a chance to meet each other in person and work with each other don don the great always a pleasure man and everybody who's been in the comments showing love i can never thank you enough thank you so much and uh to hear you know have me back whenever you want the answer is yes you know it's the fact oh i'm about to be on twitch right uh right after this show ends i'm going on twitch so come twitch with me i'm playing avengers team clayton thomas on twitch that is uh i forgot to shout out my cash out is that fine go ahead brother go for it i appreciate ernestine amazing tiffany um jose brandon keisha wanda lisa he making up names you are definitely making a sense definitely making up when you sell food y'all said like 12 names i was like [ __ ] i ain't getting none of that like [ __ ] hey i'm gonna do it again tomorrow i need to come back because you ain't want to be on this show most organic to his show ever and that's why i like it and i'm here and i'm gonna be back brother i'm gonna be back so we need you to post that flyer next time donald trump that's what we need you understand me oh you know what but we still hit 25 2500 people without you you're a wild ass [ __ ] for that brad wow wow i honestly thought that everybody realized he didn't impossible i didn't know that i was dropping wait wait hold on i knew i didn't think because i was like you know we'd be a man out in here in donovan's defense in donovan's defense oh he defended that he might not post a flyer the first time he's on the show but when he come back he'll post a flyer [ __ ] out of here you got a lot of hope time you got a lot of hope that's a lot of optimism i want to thank victoria brandon jose harry sandra to leah uh xavier uh valenti and gwen everybody uh except for donovan thank you so much for your donation remarks for your support uh sharing tagging people promoting you being on the show i appreciate it except for donovan ladies and gentlemen let me tell you something it is not easy to pick these these screws and make sure everybody gets along and make sure everybody's gonna jail well with each other but uh it is a labor of love i love it and i love that you guys love it as well uh tomorrow we got another night of zooming with the homies wednesday we got a new episode of uh wordless heart this week we have heidi he's lit on there um and then thursday we have all the cast i mean all the the guests that will be on kev on stage keep your distance social comedy show um that will they will be there on thursday it's going to be amazing let me tell you something wait wait real quick um on twitter big crits handle is let me let me let me find it just so i'll make sure i'm correct with this can you give me a big crit b-i-g-k-r-i-t if my mods can throw that in real quick b-i-g-k that is big crits handle on twitter on wednesday night we're going to have big sun from uh multi-alumni who is one of the the rappers that wraps up big crit very very frequently he's going to be on the show and i have not reached out to big crit but i would love to have him on the show so if you guys want to add him and tell him to check out uh zuma with the homies and tell him to pull up on wednesday that is the only way it can happen i cannot do this by myself guys i don't know crit like that i've met him a couple times but i don't know him like that to comfortably ask him if you guys want to get him on the show hour at him and tell him something's gonna be on show on wednesday you guys retweet that and keep adding him at all the retweets we got two thousand people in him if two thousand people at big crit about this show he will [ __ ] pull up on wednesday that much i can promise you but i can't do it by myself so after the show is over i'm going to tweet them i'm going to attach the episode with leslie roy wood spice adams everybody on there you guys retweet him and act the [ __ ] out of him and that's how we'll get him on the show that's the only way we can continue to break down these barriers and get this week built i tried to reach out to chico bean i'm trying to reach out well carlos came on the show trying to reach out to a couple people erica battle y'all know how i do i'm not gonna like go too hard at it i can't do it by myself you guys want to see people on the show you let me know i have them on the twitter and you guys have to retweet it and you have to add them that's the only way we're gonna make this [ __ ] happen um thank y'all so much for tuning in tonight it's been another fantastic show like i said hold on man can i say this please oh i was trying to say this i was trying to say it before you did your speech and then you didn't you said hold on a second and i was like i was holding and then you didn't come back to us i didn't really interrupt you but then i have to yeah but it's like um donna shut the [ __ ] up so what i was going to say was um kev on stage this show is so dope the the socially distance joint to keep your distance it's so fire i just keep seeing so many random names pop in i'm like how many random names before we get to ct i'm saying he's pulling out people who don't even do comedy number i saw a flyer say charles ice cream washington i say is he going that far instead of hitting your boy ct he hit a kid from in play and i said what i can't get on the social so i just wanted to say that but i just see you know everybody else doing it and it seemed cool but uh yeah that's all that was more for him to hear but go ahead i'm sorry okay and then when you and you have a zoom in with the homies with all like all eligible bachelors uh you could call me and make them all dark and call her and that'd be great i would love that [ __ ] can they have their shirts off take your [ __ ] shirts off and we want those blackest [ __ ] on the planet i was mean i was i was i have a whole [ __ ] so black on the screen that when you turn onto the shelter everybody be like hey why everybody camera off that's how black i want these [ __ ] and i will enjoy every moment of it every just keep them smiling i got you well listen this is guys look and listen big crit would love to have you on zuma with the homies on wednesday with big son what say you that's the tweet i'm about to tweet right now y'all go ahead and we don't just retweet it though add him with your retweet okay that's how he's gonna see it we still got two thousand people in here let's make this [ __ ] happen that's the only way we can make this [ __ ] happen tweeting now pull it up if y'all want to see him on the show that's how we do it i can't do nothing else thank y'all for watching it's been another amazing show i want to thank my guest ty davis lulu gonzalez donovan jordan and my homeboy and my brother this is clayton thomas man thank y'all for pulling up another time we'll see you tomorrow daytime same place seven o'clock p.m pst on youtube.com to hear more thank y'all peace out peace

Channel: Tahir Moore

Views: 42,698

Keywords:

Id: k5UVAT0zat4

Length: 127min 16sec (7636 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 22 2020