Zooming With The Homies (ZWTH) - EPISODE 121

kids [ __ ] them kids milan i'm a big guy the thought of pink nipples drives me insane you are now watching zooming with the homies yo what up good people welcome back and welcome back to another episode of zooming with the homies um i'm gonna have a great night man then i have a great time i don't even see myself on there yet we live yet um okay or maybe it's a little delay on my part there we go what up everybody um welcome to another episode of someone with the homies man gonna have a great time we got a great show lined up for you thank you for pulling up excuse my children i just got back in we have to do uh another walkthrough of the at the new venue and uh yeah man it's looking real nice you know what i'm talking about so what's up mariah what's up k mac what's up trisha what's up arthur your highness uh liz land i guess i think that's what it is forever laquisha what's popping off everybody how y'all doing man come on in grab a seat have a good time we in here homies [Music] that's actually pretty good i might just have you do the song hey i'd be honored because i got to get the song done everybody i'm getting all the notes people saying we should have uh waiting room music elevated music while we're waiting for people to pull up on the landing page and then um people say we should have music behind the the intro so i'm getting all the notes you know what i'm saying what's up [Music] people i have talked to besides my boyfriend in days i just called you and you ignored me i was not available i didn't ignore you i missed i missed single jackie i'm a single joke okay lulu what up what i'm saying how are you i love you lola i like i'm excited to talk to people how are you doing what's going on hey to here i like that thank you chillin with chillin chillin did y'all check out the new uh layout which i think here yeah put it on youtube pull it up on youtube oh i'll be fine i said yesterday you can actually see it right there i have a lot of feelings about the red oh this is so why i love red what's wrong with that i love her oh yeah i feel you what up i see you okay i'll see you baby shimmy for me for me can i get a shirt i'm busy hold on hold on hey man i'll tell you what my timeline has been flooded with so many kappas they are they are they are truly celebrating i can tell you what what they if we could go outside it would be a sight to see i love it i love cactus there's canes everywhere there's pains everywhere i love anybody who pledge yeah me too i love beautiful black men who want to play them because you know what i'm saying because you know we had to do that thank you thank you jackie cause we had to do that we didn't have to it was college it was a lot of [ __ ] to do we have to do all that y'all go online and disappear for so long and to like be so bummy and dirty for sure it's like they break you down and build you back up by the time you come out you don't even know you're like who the [ __ ] am i these shoulders won't stop you don't say i don't know what it is [ __ ] that's not like boot camp that's all that is it really okay boot camp but instead of the army you just get hoes [Laughter] which is okay which is okay that's part that's in the program hey welcome everybody back to another episode of zooming with the homies happy new year to the people that i haven't had a chance to rap with yet man um thank god so much for pulling up man we're gonna have a great time tonight uh first and foremost let's just get these introductions out the way uh ladies and gentlemen no stranger to the show she's actually one of uh the first people on one of the first shows on the first show you see her back there titty shimmy uh put your hands together for new york [Music] hi guys love and blessings [Music] holiday how was your holiday it was a blessing i bought gifts for four people and quiet time with the family and it was it was nice to just turn off all the disease and death and stuff and be like this is what it's supposed to be about because you know absolutely family is all that matters i love it man it really put things into perspective um sid what's going on brother you know what i'm saying i see the beard i got my beard butt i'm trying to get my conceita beard like you bro you know i'm saying shout out to tish the plug and the body butters you know what i'm saying got me got me looking at feeling good hey listen i'm gonna do my ad tomorrow for my commercial but i have never used a body butter that makes me feel as good as stitches body butter and that's just real [ __ ] oh it's incredible i'm gonna tell you something i'm gonna tell you something this is the homie but and the body butter is amazing i don't like the term butter for anything that i'm putting on it's just to me it's like bread stop it [ __ ] concentrated lotion that's what i would like now what's wrong with butter butter first man you know what i'm saying imagine if you put your body butter on right right you go to the grocery store you see your man's who you who oh [ __ ] we don't tony without me right yeah yeah what's that oh that's baby butter she's not the first one to point the term butter for because i didn't want to say it i'm gonna oh bro that's not lotion not vaseline not grease [ __ ] that's body but he could be like [ __ ] this sounds gayer to say vaseline if you cool with somebody who doesn't know what moisturization is he he gives you five he don't know that you you put lotion on a body butter on it he gotta ask you what's that that's it that's your first problem first of all what kind of man are you to have graduated from lotion who tells you lotion and dried out here just dry living in you out here dry living it is ashy ashy but feeling like i know who i am facing it too hucp you'll put no moisture on your face see look hey man first of all first of all don't take a shot don't take your shots wait what you put on body butter [ __ ] around and walk past the mirrors all with it right get through the intros first he's also ghetto [ __ ] what's on your head right now what are you wearing my man what's up goddammit shut up those cp's the only child he don't you don't like silence [Laughter] don't do that see you big [ __ ] don't do that don't do that [ __ ] wait oh my god get here you know pick up my uber weed and then i'm just gonna chilling enjoying family you know what i mean you know so you let me ask you a question see you you've done christmas out in l.a and you you obviously done christmas back home do the holidays feel different when you're back home does it mean does it you know you're around people you grew up with since you've been kids and you see like day kids you know i mean you see your family and it's that yeah nothing be that christmas you know what i mean like when you in la and your family back home you can make the best of it by chilling with your friends it was like family you know what i mean yeah which is cool you know what i mean i used to cook and do things you know but nothing like you know on christmas morning seeing your mom or like you know i mean my homeboy son i go get him a pair of shoes every year for christmas like you know what any shoe you want he like 13. you feel me was his flip getting bigger sort of made the price getting bigger so i'm about to cut that off cause like three years ago but like 60 70 right right like this was like 130. i was like [ __ ] he said i want kyrie's [ __ ] you know what [ __ ] listen sabonis gotta finish start start the way you finished it [ __ ] listen listen see it this is part of being rich [ __ ] you got this this is when you started off it was a cold ass uncle flex you probably got a couple of holes off of it y'all not getting pulled shoes every year because you know what i'm saying that's how we do now that [ __ ] grown [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] get big every day b bottom [ __ ] kyrie yo dawg i did i did he's like you know hey i'm a david like you buy him then like i'm gonna do the call like so did he like him he like he loved him well i ain't see a picture i ain't see anybody shoot me a little picture with like the flex picture you know what i mean yeah i love it it's better than watching your family that you bought presents for just handle it and touch it and love it and look at it for hours that feels great yeah yeah i love it i'm almost at that age now where i get joy out of watching other people open the gifts that i got them like that's some that's some grown [ __ ] you don't almost at that age yeah right now i still want something because when you went to that age when you fully at that age you don't even need nothing you have a teenage child and i still respect my [ __ ] gift every year do you give them the money to get you to give nah my daughter works for me she works somebody still giving her the money no no no she works for that money i don't give her [ __ ] she she gets paid very handsomely okay and if she don't work that week then then she don't get paid it's as simple as that and i made sure i made sure she worked working up until christmas so she can get back here and you know what parents love hard ass life lessons until this nurse at home time then it's like well wait a minute now wait a minute i just had to play basketball that was it but i can't stay with you stay on the team that would be her job but she don't play those sports so her job is you know she she does some edits she does some posting she does playing basketball right now they're like that's too much no no no no no no you got to get sweaty and all of that now she just behind the camera do it lulu how was your holiday it's good to see you i see the hair made you're looking like a a younger leah in this thing oh you know somebody i've been writing some four page letters to [ __ ] so uh somebody gonna tell [Laughter] i remember i had like a get together at my house like you know what i mean like i used to have game nights and cookouts or whatever and i invited lulu i gave the address it was the first time showing up tell me why you been in my old place to here why not the front door lulu showed up at the back door like it's like almost an alley like right and then she opened the door what are you doing hey yo i couldn't find it yo so like you know i figured this was it yo i said you coming through the back she goes i'm from new york yo i'm from new york first of all see quit acting like that old crib was beautiful [ __ ] you don't know what the front door was with that [ __ ] now you want to talk about that this is the front yo don't everybody come this way nobody else comes i did that before i almost got shot i went to kim's house and i walked around the back and i'm knocking on the window and i tell you she almost went to get her gun i'm like if we cool let me just come around to any door that's available she said [ __ ] you almost got shot in the face you could have kept the window open sid i would have came in like did you stay out here lulu or did you go back i was here it was so depressing you know it was so like my family is everywhere like nobody's really one place so like nobody really have no place to get together so we just was like on facetime get your line and get your life back do it why do okay well that's what i said if it's gonna make you happy are you gonna [ __ ] me to your [ __ ] to your [ __ ] walk around the house with a pillow stuck to his head and he don't even know it what the [ __ ] huh what me like a full steam harvey set up i'm not sure i could do that what's the full steam harvey he used to have a full wig oh he didn't did he yes no years yeah for years sydney that was a hairpiece all the balls inside uh stocks yeah i know they tell me all these you know i mean all the meetings he'd be going to hey y'all here you know when you're young you'll be like when you first start losing your hair you feel insecure and somebody said they said you know steve harvey i was like no no that's [ __ ] up anything is wrong with you somebody always comforts you by telling you who else got that i was on a clubhouse earlier about plastic surgery i learned a lot about people that have had it and i didn't know that we all know oh really yeah everybody talking at the same time i just be leaving yeah it is i started a room today and um it was going cool with about 10 minutes into it i was like i don't want to be in the mall alright you do kick in that's why you got to dip out i don't start in the room i just go visit and i'm like this is whacking i love that lead quietly button oh my god it's incredible that's like life hey to here you know it's a big ass ad over everybody i know i've got them working so the ad supposed to run at the bottom just to tell people about the shows that are coming out this week uh it looks like it's more to the story i'm working on it right now guys i promise you more comments why can't i see the comment there's no more this is this guys guys i'll be right back quietly but oh my god it's incredible that's like life there we go all right so it's coming we we fixing that now guys we're fixing that now hey johnson i see it on my screen too i appreciate y'all letting me know we're getting we getting it uh getting it going right now i have to hear more sydney shout out to to hear more shout out to dare more to hear more at an incredible 20 20. to hear more this is this is what happened when you try to like you know you try to take it to the next level you know you have these little hey we rocking with you that's something we here i ain't got nothing else to do i got a hinge date later and then watch my hands and come back i mean i hope it work out man all right so we didn't uh we finished with lulu uh tp how was your holidays man did you you get the the baby girls everything yeah man they got everything man that's what i work for [ __ ] you know what i'm saying like i'm not one of them parents like you want to spoil them kids no that's their problem and [ __ ] they married meantime you know what i'm saying like [ __ ] that we we get everything in this [ __ ] so we got everything everything we wanted they got it we just put together the go-karts today you got them gold cards oh yeah let me borrow one two of them because you know they got to raise like two kids i don't want that uh not their toy cars you put together two engines today one of them came today the other one coming under 15. so we you know who the [ __ ] are you uh i know you got real automobiles for your kids you getting it man but only one came the next one's in two weeks on the 15th they i don't know why they thinking like that because toyota's not done building it yet when people ask me to get my daughters get what they wanted see it see oh you i wish listen you are an excellent father i have no parts growing up i got to pay a four i had a go-kart any mini bike growing up like that's me and my dad was into bro i paid that that's what we do where they gonna ride them at that was never yeah you got that kind of land yeah they go off their garage and [ __ ] and do that thing i gotta i have a condo right now so when i get a house they really don't you know i'm saying but it's like a park down the street we first saw it because the little armenian kids had one and i thought oh back they think they [ __ ] us up i got it okay everybody don't worry about it [ __ ] don't even worry about it you're competing with my family out here in 2017 away from detroit so for me man it's like i got to make sure that they are here for my dream they could be doing first grade and third grade and in detroit and be fine i brought them out here so i got to make sure that however long we here it got to be the [ __ ] to them you know what i'm saying like that's you know like that's my only job so i got to make sure that that's really good guys thank you guys now i broke the spot i'm broke as [ __ ] we put our cash out at the team but we're still working on um how it's being said because it comes up small because we on the obs but all the stuff is always in the description y'all these ain't no strangers y'all know that cash heads and if you need help uh reminding yourself just go to the description and you can hit them up right now you know i said if you got it bless the guests real quick are we not putting it up on our [ __ ] no more yeah we don't show up okay yeah because it's kind of small it's kind of small so that's just my name c-o-s-y-d anyway dollar sign dollar sign that's not coming you ever notice that men like this are always married the good ones that do all the gold but know wait around when they find a cdp they find a sydney they find a media oh let me get let me get that let me get that let me get you go raw you want to go late man you go wrong you want to go wrong but you know you do you you want to go wrong i need to hear about it my camera you know how they do when they love you they give that coochie hug that's what they live wait what's going on what's going on yeah [ __ ] 18. give me 18 years give me 18. you know i don't know what it is bro that's what it is that boy when i'm not posting that i'm not the hardest you know don't [ __ ] around and tell me like wait don't come here that's it you shouldn't say that usually usually that's the end when you we know that it's over we say that on purpose oh for real we want you to get off of us oh my bad damn we want to go just as bad as you do we're going to keep you ready i'm so narcissistic you're telling me you're sick of it i'm done too you're good i'm good we don't say anything mean we just get extra sexy so you get turned on so you can end it there you go that's fourth quarter that's fourth quarter i'm coming on the screen we're going to say wonderful things that'll get you to nut faster and harder and it'll be the craziest [ __ ] like oh i want you to make a in seconds oh yeah oh yeah don't be black and speak spanish the man speaking wrong too oh that turned me [Laughter] everybody's uh cash app to the top of the chat so if you need reminding you don't you can't scroll to the to the uh to the description it's at the top of the chat so you don't have to do anything else to make it super easy for y'all you know what i said i would say what i um i i enjoyed my time off man like i really enjoyed having my evening you know i had a seven to nine since april i had what took one week off since april the end of april but other than that every seven to nine monday through thursday i've been right here with y'all so do you ever see how easy it is to fall into a lifestyle where you don't really have to do any of this [ __ ] when you take time off it's it's almost scary hell yeah i'll tell you when i out about the first night i think that the first week after i took the break and it was like 6 55 i was like [ __ ] i had to i was like wait wait wait i'm off i was like oh [ __ ] all right i was drinking my ass off you understand me i was so [ __ ] up and i had a great time doing it wonderful i was drinking winning the pool style true winning the pool stuff not even draws off just a polo goddamn me no draws on and some socks i was having a great time guys you know how you now you know you got time off when you have a a strong cocktail by the bed and you go to bed whatever it is you do and the next morning that cocktail is there and you drink it you're like look this drink is still good it's still strong it might be 8 30 am but it's i put it on the fridge i got your hidden jacket trust me all the bed bugs they can see your cash app a little bit so go ahead and put it in there just in case somebody can see it um because you can see it a little bit uh we're still working that part out right there but right now like i said it is pinned to the top um so you can see it at the top of the chat but we're gonna go ahead and change the cash chats um your name to the cash apps as well the more mods cash app is up there too so you know you could bless them with a little shop shout out to hippy to help me set up my discord can you help me set up my discord what's this core what's the discord i ain't even know i'm like i'm like discord or or discord she's like no it's some other [ __ ] i'm like oh [ __ ] okay cool i know that what's a discord i'll say this it's like your own personal twitter it's all for you yeah it's all yo it's all your supporters in one place is like they can message each other they can share pictures they can yeah i gotta text you [ __ ] then you gonna come to a show i feel like i got family my [ __ ] like i don't i don't want to be every app [ __ ] i got twitch [ __ ] wanna play video games with me when do i just get to have just tell me good show i'm gonna tell you something look good i'll be on twitch playing and [ __ ] be roasting my head off all i do is play in the game look at this bubble out [ __ ] oh my god that's why you gotta go invisible you gotta go on it and act like you not you i turn it off i go invisible i go offline i just wanna play the game because i don't feel like being on all the time i just wanna play the damn game like tyler that's the difference of roast meat cp you know what i'm saying like you go anywhere in the world and somebody might recognize you from roast meat now you just done a ton of other things [ __ ] i don't recognize you from is rosemary right but then it's like because they recognize you from that and because that's where they first met you every chance they get [ __ ] is is rosemary and i just that's why i tried to separate my channel from the roast of this [ __ ] that's why i be blocking people like [ __ ] don't come here with that [ __ ] this is so many different channels so many different outlets for that this is this is this is something different i don't think people understand around every app you're like this is y'all are weird okay i like that i like that actually made me comfortable like hey yo what up my [ __ ] this one people understand this the people on roast me it's hard for us to roast each other we've been roasting these [ __ ] for like five years after a while the [ __ ] is said but i promise you when i see you in person i'm so fresh and ready to roast everything that i could ever it's like you don't even unders so i was in chicago i thought i thought i was gonna have to scrapper [ __ ] in chicago i was shooting uh laugh tracks stepped outside this [ __ ] was like hey man you from roast me yeah he proceeded to hit me with about 12 of the weakest jokes and i was like bruh and his boy was right there in the egg in the mall and i'm like [ __ ] and i just started roasting a [ __ ] and it just like i know my [ __ ] was funny but they weren't laughing that mean it was mad man these [ __ ] mad these are these are hitters i'm hitting this [ __ ] tell me that i that i can literally i love you that's why i'm never going to return you can win understand my skill set right is to make you uncomfortable man i love you whatever okay like your best baby you can give it your best i'm gonna just say you got it but look here gonna think though there are pain seekers out here people who know they [ __ ] up and they just wanna hear somebody say it and you gotta stay away from them they're known to be like give me another one cp give me another [ __ ] calm down talk about my keylord man my [ __ ] get the [ __ ] away from me you know who does that jeffrey ross his fans request that they that he roasts them that's just weird on instagram i [ __ ] with jeff ross but that's weird man but people people seek him out they're like please roast me and they want him to say the meanest thing they can think of looking at their picture or their profile on um cameo like people will book me for cameo and they were like yo i want you to rush my girl i want you to roast my mom it's my boy's birthday roast my boy everybody first of all i don't know them you know you didn't send no picture or nothing you just telling me gross my girl that's number one number two i don't know your girl i'm not a offensive roaster i don't roast just because you tell me to i only roast now in defense i'm i like i just if somebody hit me jab back i like i just don't want to do that anymore i roasted it i roast like a porn star like [ __ ] i just do it here's what it is there's no emotion involved i've done a thousand of these it's nothing i'm hard and ready to go that's how it is huh like i just i just i wake up like on the bus do that [ __ ] i'm a fight i'm sensitive i'm a fighter hey listen i'm really gonna fight you i'm not gonna ask no questions you got about one or more jokes on me and i'm gonna slap the [ __ ] out of you some people act like they don't know that that's not the elaine some people act like they don't know that they they're sensitive and that's that's not what they like to do and they want to get into the crowd and be like yeah and the moment would you say something to them that's the energy they have and it's like if you had left that i would have never i would i would have never you know brought it to that level but most people be like they they're not it's mature and at peace with themselves to say that as a disclaimer and they don't know how loki mean we could be like i don't roast and make fun cause i'm like there's a mean dark i'm like i don't know what i'm going to do what i didn't go to school i didn't go to college i was cracking jokes and now i make money at it i'm gonna win i'm gonna win and the thing is your partner wife boyfriend husband they don't know like i'm gonna beat your nine to five ass 10 out of 10 times ma'am sir ma'am hey can i tell y'all how many times this [ __ ] see it you have to fight me when we was roommates really this nigga's trying to fight me all the time dog what i [Laughter] what's up [ __ ] [Laughter] that's a good impression that's why it's so funny what a great introduction it's a great impression to tell you though see i just like [ __ ] it's like a bear and a rabbit [ __ ] like [ __ ] as soon as you jump i'm down the street [ __ ] like [ __ ] i ain't going there with you see here i came home dawg it was like late [ __ ] like late and i came home and i was mad probably by something else right and i come in the house and look it was smoke in the house and and i hadn't smoked you know what i mean the [ __ ] had just got newly high right it was some food there that like he just paying all the bills by the way know this for years i said cp he said what's up man what the [ __ ] is going on man he's like see come on relax me you're too big to be getting like this i'm like a rabbit when a rapper see a bit what it do it runs [ __ ] i was so mad but i started laughing because he was so [ __ ] funny i was like [ __ ] come on man he's like you're right you're right you're right i'm wrong i'm going see i'm admitting i'm admitting [Laughter] a huge grouchy [ __ ] you know what that's like a huge grouchy [ __ ] like [ __ ] i'm like if you had to do like a big brother style reality show whereas you and five of the comics in the career uh who would the five comics be wow we already know this [ __ ] i mean mixture of unisex yeah yo the sex hmm i don't want me in the house i would like i'd like a sydney and tone bell now people you just trying to [ __ ] get jackie look at jackie automatically it's a it's a [ __ ] like i will is not sexual shut up what's the game again what are we doing it's it's basically big brother you you are you are a big brother it's a totally big game bj will be great big irish yes yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah only he's leaving j look like all the doritos will be gone he like whatever type of [ __ ] you know where the doritos at oh yeah i thought you know that's my boy but it like you can't keep no cool wrenches around my [ __ ] like big jay he wanted [ __ ] to eat the food and then lie about who ate it like uh listen one thing jay ain't gonna do is lie about it because he know you can't beat his ass jay is six eight three big [ __ ] don't let himself get mad i'll be like oh [ __ ] they'd be like wait go back you know karate listen little bit bad built but the six eight make up for that you know you don't know what to do it makes sense now i'm bad but i'm down at the ground i don't know if he's still doing it anymore he can have a class full of comedians if he started my class and you know what's crazy is the lives that comedians had before they were comedians like completely different it was a motto [Laughter] this [ __ ] hey he no he not lying bro mostly what he was doing he was like leaning on stuff i know you got it in your mama house though i know she framed you bro i know you heard of a store called foot action right yeah yeah when i was 20 i had a foot action ad in every mall in america really i don't believe you check your [ __ ] that [ __ ] he mean he was in the uh in the foot action east bay book nothing not not uh me and my homeboy from fort worth rodney we went into the arlington mall and i was i saw myself i'm 20. i was like yo let me get that they said so we can't give it to you i said [ __ ] it's me it's still an ad that has i say yo when y'all done can i come get it it was like when we're done running you can come get it and i came back and got that [ __ ] when it was done i still got it how long was it how long did they run it how long did it take for you to come back and get it they ran for like maybe two months nice nice little nice little healthy by the window every brown look at yourself but let me i want to give i want to give sydney his flowers because i've heard for years he's had comments crash and he would take care of all the bills i've heard that for a long time hey let me tell you something when you first meet sydney if you don't know him he's going to come off like an [ __ ] and it's not nothing he's going to say to you yeah it's because he's not going to say anything to you he's saying that how are you doing i'm sitting here and then he he'll never speak to you the rest of your life until until y'all happen to be in the same area or y'all know some of the same people then you'll find out he's one of the coolest [ __ ] you ever now i i i got that heir but he never acted like that toward me because i guess because i was always around the people he knew so i was always included in the conversation when i first met him but sydney i've seen this [ __ ] sidney has the air of excuse my back and then he walks away like that's that's all you get i'm sorry but you know what though but real talk though like see it prepare [ __ ] for what it's like out here that's nice you know what i'm saying i don't even understand i remember like i don't even know how i started staying with c he was with clayton first and i said oh no no no i know i was playing first and you know playing clayton strickland's [ __ ] like you know don't smoke in my house like okay [ __ ] i had like clayton had to wake up time for me that you wake up at this time you better get the [ __ ] out and then tangerine and and it made sense but you know you don't want [ __ ] let you get comfortable out here like i had to get you know what i'm saying like you know like so the room i was sleeping in was uh sid in zainab's podcast room so like [ __ ] in the morning see it bless him boom get the [ __ ] get up right now i'm saying that on the way hurry up right now [ __ ] get pissed [Laughter] don't worry about nothing but that's how he retains power it's like keep your money yo you don't need to pay [ __ ] you know what i'm saying that's [ __ ] i wonder why [ __ ] look see it didn't have a system see i didn't have a ps3 so i brought the ps3 i mean i ain't all into that man that could take up my time i'm trying to write i'm like bruh like [ __ ] [ __ ] that [ __ ] i play games [ __ ] we need a sister next thing you know they can play in the game 40 hours a day i'm mad too i told you ass on twitch one time he was dead asleep i stood over him [ __ ] i stood over him like this i said yo that [ __ ] woke up the [ __ ] is wrong with you man this [ __ ] i felt like i was in prison bro like it felt like not like a bad prison it felt like an oldest new black kind of prison where it's like my noodles and [ __ ] could come up missing or you know what i'm saying like you know [ __ ] you know like fights in the yard it was the crazy thing going on bro every [ __ ] slept on the couch went to work listen sid had this bit uh but he never put anybody's name in it i remember his bedroom back in the day he it probably because he had 14 different [ __ ] pass through his crib and sleep over the top he had this bit about letting somebody sleep on this couch he was like i came in the room this [ __ ] had a roll balls like i gonna say one [ __ ] name but one [ __ ] one time had a chick at the crib like he was like he had sex in the house and i wasn't there i said what you doing and he was like he was like what you mean i said hey bro hey man look dog i felt so old i was like hey man you're not contributing nothing [ __ ] in here right because that [ __ ] is it's like when you contribute [ __ ] you you know what i mean so like ain't no [ __ ] in here he was like all right and i realized being oh but i was just mad though i was mad and i was like i'm featuring making money hustling selling dvds and you in here [ __ ] man hater this [ __ ] bro see if he called me one time he had a girl treasure hunt remember your home girl and the dude they was dating some [ __ ] and like i facetimed you and he was like what's up man yeah just tweet your homies over and i was like hey cpu of the house he's like my homeboy from the trails no that ain't how it happened that's not how the [ __ ] happened [ __ ] listen this is how this how the [ __ ] it happened look my [ __ ] was coming to get me the only way to get me now first of all [ __ ] you act like this [ __ ] city act like his shit's so sweet that [ __ ] can't come up in that [ __ ] ever [ __ ] i don't trust nobody listen listen listen i'm playing the game right i swear to god i'm playing madden on the screen on mata it's a glitch and a [ __ ] fly up in the air so before these [ __ ] before i walk out the door i'm filming right one of my [ __ ] saying come on man i'm like bro hold on look at this [ __ ] [ __ ] step in look at the [ __ ] we laugh on the video on instagram we watching it and you hear laughing in the background a plethora of laughs just two laughs my life [ __ ] in seconds see it caused my phone i'm like hello who the [ __ ] at my house i'm like what who the [ __ ] of my house on the instagram video and start like another [ __ ] was laughing [ __ ] i had to explain this [ __ ] i'm like yeah it's my [ __ ] right here all right cause you facetime why i i'm like bro like [ __ ] what is wrong with this [ __ ] all right bro listen this then you got to think about the conversation that's had after that with cp at his home he's like damn grumpy on your back like that like man you know [ __ ] i had to make up [ __ ] no that [ __ ] got pounds in this [ __ ] so he'll be one really wanted cause look i gotta make sid look sweet cause i'm staying there with the [ __ ] so what i do is i watch the pounds you know what i'm saying i want to make sure that that that the punk right and that you know and i get it [Music] you got to tell the story and then i i want to get the ladies involved too but you got to tell the story about when somebody broke into your house and you was like i got a gun [Music] is he frozen is he right by me from damn like you about to do an ultra intro i thought he was going to take it there you go there you go the uh the story about when somebody broke in your house and he was like you got a gun i got a gun oh yeah [ __ ] yeah yeah so a long time ago like years ago right somebody broke and tried to break in the crib right so like you know i had a girl with me at the time you know i mean and i was like yeah i heard someone go boom like somebody busting the front door like you know what i mean so i yeah like hey is somebody back here [ __ ] right i give him my best like [ __ ] yo [ __ ] [ __ ] right in the front still stealing i was like [ __ ] i had my first gun with me right i had never used it so i'm in the back like reading directions like all right [ __ ] all right you know what i mean like making sure everything's sweet right you gotta look at the girl at the time i was like hi she's like i said i'll be right back she's like you promised i was like this ain't the movies like i'm gonna try you know i might die i don't know [ __ ] whole shotgun they gotta run through the whole back door [ __ ] text her like get out [ __ ] serious get out let them have everything where are you we'll talk about that later get out do you hear me when did it happen hello the running man emoji you should leave you should leave bro that man for real in there [Laughter] that man for real in there that's the second time somebody tried to recognize the first time i had a roommate it was uh my homeboy jonathan like i lived with him it was his place actually i was like real young and then [ __ ] was in the back and he was like somebody's in the back i said let that [ __ ] be in the back he's going back there i said mine in the business right uh roommate john the time he he opened the back door he said what you doing you heard you do go and like walk off get back in the house [ __ ] three minutes later the front door somebody trying to get in he said who's that i was like the [ __ ] here to kill the witness because you couldn't stay in the [ __ ] house john this [ __ ] so intense bruh for real this [ __ ] you need this [ __ ] need a deep tissue massage [ __ ] you need to calm the [ __ ] down this [ __ ] need somebody to get down and i'm not saying [ __ ] all that cute [ __ ] you need a big [ __ ] to get down in there that's all right that's all right mr sydney that's all right but sydney have you been unquarantining yourself your accent is is heavy you are extraordinary i apologize i've been home for a second i love it see it kick that keep doing that i get it i re up on my new yorkness exactly i feel like southern [ __ ] don't get a break from slave stories and i feel like that's why they be mean as hell like you know what i'm saying like in the north we do everything [ __ ] be listening to rap [ __ ] they'd be out there like don't you understand how hard it was y'all [ __ ] be mean as [ __ ] like [ __ ] calm down i get it though but you know [ __ ] oh i think i think i would be good at a crib with sydney because i feel like sydney gonna do what he needs to do right cp gonna be funny um and barbecue yeah yeah i'll see cp he be grilling his [ __ ] that's important man that's really important i'm a [ __ ] man i'm gonna do a salmon tonight anyway go ahead i feel like i gotta have tone barrel there because tom bill is like tony bell is the the joker for the white hand so like when you got to do business with white people you got to like you know get some of that money you take tom bill which tall bill is like driving in a white neighborhood and a call full of black people but you got tony bell you like all right you guys just get out of here talking to white people in the industry you say what he's the hitch of talking to white people in the industry [Laughter] i have never seen a more well unaccomplished but accomplished actor stay at one network for as long as tom bill did like they they loved him so much at nbc they told him beforehand hey this show wasn't going to do well but just get the check i found my [ __ ] they come have fun my [ __ ] have fun we'll do you for six episodes don't forget a line they're like don't worry about that line to throw away yeah we always had a line don't rewrite the whole script just for that line that's okay bro tone is hilarious man i remember the first time we met never see it we went out somewhere to eat we met tom introducing me to all these [ __ ] and we sitting there man this [ __ ] was joking for like an hour straight like this [ __ ] like who the [ __ ] are you i'm like [ __ ] that [ __ ] was crazy bro like shout out that [ __ ] had that one show i'm high i'm just rambling [ __ ] my baby i don't even know where the story was gonna go dawg it's just like he lost track his own thought he's like where was i going i know what the [ __ ] man it's good keep rolling up hold up roll up keep your hands all right keep your hands busy keep your hands busy [Music] jackie who else did you say you could stay with you said you said tom bill you said sydney i'm always interested to see if the women will pick women too because i know y'all cool that's the thing that's a given that's why i'm trying to stay away from you know i have five women off the top of my head that the girls that do my my uh podcast with they'd be cool because they're real like uh marina franklin another comic uh saturday in one time and she was like your girlfriends are very real and it was courtney black and and uh canelia you know very so that's an easy list to name off but in terms of dudes jay was a good choice wasn't he was protector that was a good one to pick yeah jay was good jay was good uh somebody chris spencer because he's always working i want somebody who's always got a job and he could get me a job if i needed to get one and chris oh game though he's usually a game in big brother he's gonna be weird as hell no game go get uh look at what you call you'll get ignored with a gamer because i'm not a gamer no i'm saying what's the game and big brother is the game like there's always they were like little challenges but they really they're filming for like you know the the conflict in the house and all of that and the likeability like that i want george wallace who do you think you could coexist with luke that's why that's more so what i was talking about oh i could put teddy ray up in there and that'd be like you automatically gonna get ratings off of teddy ray's lap just off the i think the assumption is that this is gonna tune in just to guys yes the assumption is that i would pick tony baker but i think he we would kill each other we would die oh yeah yeah yeah we wouldn't make one i thought it was like a like a like a uh a schoolhouse crush at first and then i saw y'all like really interacting i was like these [ __ ] need to be separated i'll put him on police i'll put key on police cool cause we're gonna hoot and then we're gonna eat right and then he's cool and he can sing and we'll be having melodies there's real love but our personalities are too it's too much to live on in close quarters yeah tony tony will be um like sid in the in the harshness and the sternness but he wouldn't do it as often as sid would i feel like always like [ __ ] tony's more passive with it he's more passive yeah but but tony got it in him though i feel like i'd fight with sydney like every third episode but then we'd make up like on the seventh day lulu said to me you know sydney has me blocked on social media are you can you unblock me now yeah still can you unblock me now can we be friends that nick wedding and that's the first time we see each other and like who was being cool with me 11 and you said cindy i'm trying can you unblock me so i can see you somewhere i was shot a texas [ __ ] a joke and i was like it ain't going through why is that i'm like you all block me can we be cool now can i send you this joke can we laugh he'll be like are you going you still hate me you gonna still hate me now i'm like his name don't come up i'm like oh i'm still blocked i'm still blind matt i want somebody white matt well no jay is white matt rife young and innocent that might help i don't know why it would help i don't know about innocent matt ain't innocent he just look in the scene he sees it he seems that way that been knocking him down since he was 14. he's knocking him down when he was going out and uh who's got joe whatever [ __ ] whatever show you what's up what's up yeah you've been knocking him down what are you talking about look innocent i like ron g's positivity yeah i need to be around that i need rhonda pray in the morning yes i need to be around that kind of positive energy daily yes ronnie could everybody here run type of [ __ ] that wants to be going through something like now i'm straight are you sure i'm like no i'm gonna pray that you stay on the brother brother brother brother brother brother city i'm trying to tell you that you're saying you straight but [ __ ] i love you i'll tell you brother we can pray over i think you're straight because deep down inside you probably got a little curve and you're not straight but i can straight why i am fine i'm [ __ ] fine cursing which means which means your spirit ain't right you're right if you're cussing i told ron one time i was good and 45 minutes later we was in the parking lot praying i was like i'm good how did you get here that's funny that's dope though that somebody would take time out and pray pray oh i love it pray for it that that's needed i love it i know how much i needed that until a dude i was dating he prayed for me i was like oh that's sexy i need you to pray more often it is this water amen oh he prayed good yeah that's the person you tell your friends girl he prayed for me you don't even understand he prayed for me that's all we be looking for oh good time cp is young he doesn't change his whole background what do you think my background to a sweet copper background but i can't really find out cause oscar mcgee in the audience i see your ropes they are trash you keep repeating the same one because you misspelled my name the first time about oscars to have like your fake name which means that he thought he lived in one of them times you ever saw that movie the town where they was robbing the banks yeah yeah very small white little town like that weird a little bit yeah it's like no no that is remember back in the day when everybody had an oscar fish in a tank like get this big ass fish out of here yeah these oscars they eat leftovers all right go ahead to here read the joke no no that time has passed by [ __ ] yeah god that was a joke what a [ __ ] saying everybody had an oscar fish in a fish tank we've been a big-ass oscar fizzy confession i did have octopus [Music] that [ __ ] wouldn't leave me i got oscars i got all candy i got oscar fish that's the first one they point out my mom was proud of her oscar fish yeah oscar fish was a big fat ass fish remember everybody octopus had a little stroke and it was over like yeah that's the fish dash you know my mama's a little [ __ ] up by the ice cream fish when oscar fish died we got rid of the whole fish tank she can't [ __ ] about none of them other fish i'll never get a fish tank again that [ __ ] is too much work real quick every month every couple of months i'm like let them all die [ __ ] the fish i don't care it's too much i'm watching this uh like when i first moved out here i stayed with his uh white family right they're real cool to kabbalah's and one time they went back to texas and they had a fish tank they said could you watch the fish died on me right and i had to i didn't notice it for a minute so i bagged the [ __ ] up i went to the petco and i was like i need to get a fish just like this right and he was like well sir this one's discolored like we don't say give me something and the fish was a little bigger and i put that [ __ ] back in the tank the kid came back and was like dad what happened huh i forgot the fish name you know such and such i was like oh he i fed him a lot he got a little bigger he said the kid was younger like oh okay the dad was like what happened i was like that [ __ ] the original nigga's gone i bought another fish and i was like my bad but i don't think he knows so we're good because i was staying with that and then i was like get out you know i mean he's like no that's straight all right yeah that's the original [ __ ] got another fist that's what's up oh that's your first instinct is to go replace the fish when it dies and it's not yours them little vaders that be in the cup i just want to get them [ __ ] i just want to get a big ass tank and just give it to that beta and make them feel rich like it's all my land you know what i'm saying like because he came from a cup like they got to be the [ __ ] cup you understand me now i swim around i swim around that's the voice is that the voice oh sometimes i just stay right here and be like [ __ ] it just like i gotta be the cut that's [Music] huh [Music] yeah i would ask my brother a question and because i'm interrupting the game he will throw me out his room like jazzy jeff like every day like every day you don't have that type of experience in your life very unfortunate you could have gotten hurt meanwhile i did that's how i got this scar on my head i used to leave my game on pause and go to school and then come back and be like i'm a new song i came to they got oh me refrigerator full of [ __ ] i left in there when i get back you understand what being the only child is like you don't have to share i don't have no remorse for you [ __ ] i was living stupid yo the fact that he's got a whole family and a wife they've been always like wow boom bob only child in my [ __ ] life is your wife another one she was like boy yes we are living did your wife get a chance to speak with you and i don't even be acting like this no way that's why you like this because you suppress that [ __ ] the whole [ __ ] day and you want to come do you run the live tv are you a light runner oh they don't even give me the light they love me they'd be like you're [ __ ] crazy man you you you [ __ ] you bumped everybody like a [ __ ] speaking of that hey i'm about to get back on the road um february 5th sixth weekend no [ __ ] [Music] yeah this weekend i'm opening for russell at orlando improv oh that's dope yeah i'm excited i don't know if i'm um if i feel comfortable enough going back on the stage yet like i'm scared but i'm also can't wait i can't i can't explain it i'm scared you have a live audience yeah wow florida that florida florida don't have no pandemic they're all okay over there i was nervous when i did the last fact the other day it was only five of us i was like this is scary where y'all been yeah where y'all been it was i did alabama there's one [ __ ] tried to come in the back to see martin and dc was back there he said oh he can't come back that's what he sees dc but he can't come back he's like no i just want to come back i said you can't come back here bro it's the whole pandemic my [ __ ] i was to get a quick picture i said [ __ ] pandemic pictures and then dc close the door but it's like [ __ ] be wilding like it's not up yeah in the moment and they forget everything they want to hug and pictures and you're like nothing we're doing nothing the older you get sick i feel like you're getting more gangsta no no i'm a nice guy no don't hit me with it oh you can't come back because he was like come on man you want to get a picture like [ __ ] get your massless ass [Music] oh he didn't having a mask either [ __ ] they had a business put on so you thought you know you know business code come on i got business code energy get your ass out of here sir how was it uh when you went to uh kansas city with a gary owen it was cool you know it was real cool like the first i be honest with you i hadn't been on stage in a while so thursday's show was like okay friday first show was like cool and then friday the second show i got my rhythm back and then saturday boom boom he's back in the rhythm and i mean it's different because you know a sellout ain't like a sellout ain't like packed yes like in a regular non-pandemic if it's a 150 in there you're like it's a little light yeah with pandemic 150 is like probably the sellout that's a sellout yeah it was a little last probably a little different you know i mean but the energy cool you know what i mean you ever have a joke while you're in the middle of your set doesn't that feel weird what do you do you have a joke come to your memory come back to memory while you're performing like you're like oh i'll do that next like during i ever do that's the only thing i can do i listen i have about 400 jokes i never know what i'm going to say when i go on stage unless i'm trying to get into a rhythm of i'm talking about the pandemic mr 400 jokes that's not even a flex i've been doing this [ __ ] for oh i don't know i'm not taking it away from your skill i'm just saying have you noticed it when you performed during this pandemic you may have forgotten you know your hitter is your lineup oh man what i feel like i'm terrible i have to get back in it like for real like it's it's it's crazy like man i'd be coming off stage right now i could have said this i should have said that like i hate i hate when um what's it was talking about that thursday night show said when you do a joke you're like man i'm not [ __ ] really hit like it's supposed to and then you remember one of the the the punches before it's after the setup but it's not at the the yeah a piece it's just it's just a little tag like oh i forgot that build up right here ah like that [ __ ] right there you want to tell everybody come back here real quick i want to do the joke everybody come sit back and nowhere to really go work it out and flush out the rhythm of it you know what i mean like i missed that [ __ ] like going to the union on friday you know what i mean wednesday friday saturday building something like i miss now it's just it's that wednesday night so much bro and uh so much though how long did you do that show for i'd never heard of it been to it didn't know about it i did the wednesday show for the the better part of two years it wasn't exactly true the daytime i remember the show now yes yeah cause i used to i used to host friday nights but then i started touring with kev so i was a host of friday nights for almost two years and then i moved to wednesdays and with me and frankie wednesday the five dollar wednesdays and then uh man when i take that [ __ ] i'm talking about a wednesday night in the union packed rocking i'm talking about every every week exactly weekly weekly i'm submitting my list with anywhere from 12 to 30 people on it this this ain't a birthday show this ain't this ain't cause it's a holiday this my weekly show and that's just on me that's not even what the club bringing in so i'm talking about yo it was rock five dollar catfish it was a catfish plate with greens or or yams or a mac and cheese five dollars for that five dollar drink five dollar entry [ __ ] coming that [ __ ] to spend the twenty feel like a king and this is laughing jackie and when that room was packed the acoustics in that room worked and then you go in there and it's packed and you're like oh i got to work like you know i mean it's like okay cool like in the energy be rocking you like yeah that was another thing like i didn't i didn't i didn't do i don't like if somebody didn't do well it was like hey man you know [ __ ] have updates cause i don't want to create the energy for that that type of [ __ ] like it's easy to [ __ ] on somebody but like i just saw it as a challenge to bring the room back up to reset it for the next [ __ ] because if you go in on that [ __ ] the next person coming up if they don't know that person they don't already have that energy and be greeting him like this [ __ ] better be funny so it's better than this to reset the room for the next comment and like that's why the energy always remains so good and that [ __ ] man you go up there rock out have a good ass time jack i heard about it fantastic show man it was a fantastic i miss it is coming you shout out to frankie man it was a blast out i worry about that though because if that's [ __ ] when the world opens back up that wednesday night that was uh [ __ ] when did the show start things started at eight eight eight thirty like that's what's inside i haven't heard from him in a while not even on social media i just i talked to ian's a couple a couple weeks ago we were talking about day trading on some stocks he's doing day trading okay i gotta hit him in a while speaking of stocks it's doing well right now cp don't know what to say what what's it no i just dropped my cane he's bored almost almost hit my ps5 let me put this [ __ ] down [ __ ] around and piss myself off city what is that is that pepsi is that tea a dragon coke okay okay okay you can get [ __ ] up look you're sitting here that [ __ ] ain't never went down in level oh okay i was watching the ice meld on it i was like what is this [ __ ] drinking oh yeah i thought i was being discreet now hey somebody else is over you might ask me for a shimmy so i just gave him a quick quick little one too don't forget don't forget everybody's cash bro you guys can see everybody's catch up at the top take care of the gasps isn't it like bad if you drop the cane ain't you supposed to like do something 100 push-ups some push-ups or something right squirrel you gonna drop it it's just like nah [ __ ] that's not the rules i never heard that before don't do this to me lulu it was a twist it wasn't even a twirl so we're not even we're not even at that level you got to switch the headband to be a different person you got to do different usages give me a different usage to a twist drop ah there's no drop of the shot happen therefore it was a twist fumble he had a twist i'll go full bridges don't don't do this that's a misdemeanor lou what did you want when you when you facetime me if you don't mind me asking here [ __ ] that's personal conversation what you're doing [Music] and it's fun no you still need no bread that you what we uh you hit me earlier [Music] did that happen how's that rash doing it was a recipe i was trying to call you about it was a recipe really yeah okay [Music] i want to get back on the road though i do miss it i miss that that initial roar after a great joke the audience hits you with that [ __ ] is priceless bro watching the watching specials make me feel like god to be on that big long ass stage just walking up and down telling joke it's unreal it's serious crazy we saw some crazy and unique specials we saw dave get up there at the top the town hall and just kind of have a talk we saw him you know make a stance against uh streaming platforms to have his content removed yeah cole just put out something where he just working out uh doing a remix to tambourine where he's remixing some of the jokes and he's remixing uh behind the scenes footage and all that type of stuff uh we're seeing something we've never seen kevin standup specials what'd you say sid yeah put out a special during the panda yeah put out a special cab put out a special and i think a lot of people don't understand not being comedians that like to put out a special most people put six to nine months of work into that set that they're gonna put on camera he didn't have six to nine months or six to ten months to work that material out he probably sat with some some writers and his team and bounced some jokes off of people and just put it out there and i think he's gonna call definitely just just give him you say what see i didn't say nothing man i just didn't know the hill wasn't he was dancing to imaginary music for like 20 minutes no i was actually strolling by myself in a chair i'm very good at chair dancing any day i can do any dance in the chair i'm gonna [ __ ] with it i can look sweet as hell in a chair standing up that's when huh standing up as well okay yeah but um we've seen some some unique specials are there anything that's special or something that you would do different on your special i want to do a special now where i just film me doing an hour for fun because all the best shows are never caught on tape so i'm like let's just have i want to hire two camera guys an editor and just put it on youtube before the real special the big one i want to do a small one because those shows are always in new york they're fantastic but they're not they happen and then they're gone i want to capture one of those shows 30 minutes gonna be an hour 30 40 minutes what do y'all think about those specials like remember i think chris rock did one of those specials where sometimes he'd be like overseas a little bit i think that a lot of comedians have to get used to being filmed and i think that that's something that i don't think we talk about enough but a lot of comedians have to get used to being doing it on film and understanding and knowing that you're being filmed and what that feels like i would like to have a camera crew following me for like 100 shows you know what i had an idea i had like a like pop-up specials like every now and then a a a show get filmed and the comic don't know it'll be the best [ __ ] shows yeah to be like that's a great thing uh cp that you said because honestly i hate like being filmed yeah and i still wear acting acting wise i love it stand up wise i'm like oh man the whole for me the whole vibe changes and i'm i'm now i'm in my head now i'm overthinking because i'm an overthinker so then i start overthinking like i'm not just thinking about my jokes i'm also like how i look on camera how do i look on this angle how do i look on this angle oh i should have worn that outfit maybe my ass spoken out too much like this i love comedy so much and sometimes comedy's fun for me so when it turns into business that's one of those business times that's when it's like serious it ain't no joke you got to nail this you know it's like yeah it's and it's so much in my head on my foot now my special is relying on this audience getting what i'm trying to say and it's like they just like [ __ ] then i'm just like yeah i feel what you're saying it's just too it's like porn it's like i could [ __ ] but then if i gotta [ __ ] for you know money it's like oh wait a minute let me get my [ __ ] hard you know it's a good idea to to like put your put your schedule out there give it to someone pay camera guys and tell them whenever you guys feel like it come tape me like that's i feel like those shows that you talking about are very rarely caught on camera and i think that's one of the that's one of the joys and one of the magical things about live comedy is is that first time that dave japan did like five hours at the lab factory the very first time like no one needed to record that that was just something that made comedy magical it was something that you had to be there for it was something that will get talked about and be revered like this thing just did five hours [ __ ] like just ranting just going like you you couldn't capture that with a camera and make it as special as it was just by being there so i'm in a place now where is like catching it's like trapping lightning in the bottle but that's the thing i want the lightning in the bottle i feel like i've been doing it so long i want money now that's not i don't think anything happens i've had so many shows that honestly have gone so well that are gone i'm like that could be a special that could be a special i just i would like to be paid for what i do now paid well remember the uh the dvd comedian with the seinfeld orientems i don't know if you have been watching this like i did yeah also getting back into stand-up and doing his first late night building his five minutes but like i loved how he was having like the conversations like outside and you would see him building a set i would love to do a special where like i'm talking about my hour and like maybe and you see me kind of going and building it a little bit but not before and then you see a full presentation of what we've been working on you know i mean so i can see like a little bit what goes into it and then how you kind of finesse it and like polish a joke over time you know i mean yeah that's exactly what i did on my patreon i i like i feel like those like our regular season games i'm going to cut you off here my bad but i feel like when you do comedy bro these these like regular season games [ __ ] never seen go ahead you look so i'm sorry of this you're in texas he in texas that's okay take one more deep breath that's a lighter that's a lot go ahead man it's not a go ahead go ahead go ahead and see it okay see i remember because you you was online and you pointed it at a frog one time and i had to call you like don't you ever frogs that's my spirit animal you leave them the [ __ ] alone you pushed him out the door a frog here to hurt nobody you had a glop for a frog you got it go ahead go ahead go ahead go ahead go ahead you know what your [ __ ] go ahead got your gun and [ __ ] go ahead man go ahead like you see like how you build like how you build an hour you feel me like show like the behind the scenes and then show the full hour without showing you know you know just the grind of it like thoughts and like nah that's not gonna work or maybe if you add this show somebody like cp like giving you a tag like what if you said this here and then you next show it hidden and then we show the full presentation you got eight or nine ten more tags but you just show the audience a different view you know how you got to where you at yeah do you think that takes away a little bit of the magic though [ __ ] no i think that um no i'm joking i just wanted to answer real quickly i don't if you do if you produce it right like don't i wouldn't give away my whole bid up front but like the idea of marriage so we're talking about marriage and then i have different beats but i'm not gonna give you the whole 20 minutes of marriage but maybe the audience sees two or three minutes it won't be much different than what they did with um remember original kings of comedy how in between their sets they they kind of put real life in it they're playing uh cards they were sitting at the table and walking through the mall on the barbershop like if you do it right say it like you said like produce it right and it just it takes those moments of somebody giving you a tag and like yeah i'm working on this joke and then it goes right into that that bit i think that would be dope as hell bro i've never seen a special like that either i'm gonna do that [ __ ] so i'll ep it for you bro don't worry about it i got you out yeah let's talk bro i would want to do one where it's like like certain jokes i would want to act it out into a sketch that's because that's just the actor in me and i sometimes feel like it's easier to i think it's funny at a show sometimes that reminds me of the laugh track show the show that kept asking for me to submit and didn't book me but you all did it sydney do it i didn't do it i didn't do it did you do it sydney you bring up something you always be like and then nobody asks me about that like you bring up something every episode this is the first time i've done that in a while in sydney so you can't you couldn't say that i auditioned i think i auditioned for that one that um [Music] i forgot the name of the place that's yeah man grace said i can't wait to see you record uh we're gonna get the schedules out and then they give me the next day yeah man we're gonna go a different direction i was like mm-hmm cool they called me and said hey would you like to do the kevin hart uh half hours the first time they came around i was like yeah that'd be sweet okay okay well we're deciding we'll hit you back so then why were they then i wouldn't watch james say pierce and jim james like hey man it's you know this is weird you know what i mean baby's in my living room and they call it they call me he's like okay they call james he's like yeah they they said i want to do it they said they asked me if i want to do it i said you called to ask me right yeah i never heard him back i was like okay all right cool see it's okay i'm a little bit bitter and it's okay to have a little bit of bitterness in your soul just a little bit a little just a little bit why would they call you before [ __ ] i was there i was like yo we literally in my old apartment and they called me i said hey just call me so i bet he said just call me i said they asked me did i want to do what i would be interested in doing a half hour on you know county central i said yeah i told [ __ ] yeah he's like okay bet i'm gonna call you back because we decided all right and i never heard back from them and i was like [ __ ] who who hits [ __ ] to see if he wants to do it it's special you you want you want to potentially get some money and you know expand your fan base yeah all right [Laughter] hey james james you want to do kevin like i said yes the [ __ ] oh [ __ ] see y'all got a big yard out there it looked like you got to you'd be on the right lawn more or some [ __ ] with that hat on not down like back in when i was growing up like it used to be it's changed a lot now but like back in the day used to be like a lot of so i grew up in a cul-de-sac called pastor court right and the next of columbus trail right it was a street main street and over there was nothing but cows the pastor was literally like just land [ __ ] and cows literally so like a gun a cul-de-sac and a gun so and so now when you come around it's like a city like he sold that land so it's like a school in there i get lost because they've had so many things but it used to be like old granberry road used to be a long road with horses on the right and like just a bunch of land and now it's like freeways and it's just like different so that's a little weird but yeah you don't get lost i literally got that i was probably gonna tell you [Laughter] bat no this is uh who is whack shout out to my guy who was wax i don't know if y'all anybody know wax you work with uh like charlemagne that's like trying to make right hand man he was out here the other day he gave me a bunch of packs yeah yeah here when cp was like staying with me whatever and i like just kind of started smoking i had first noticed i like had a grape swisher and i wrote it and i gave it to the cp and he was like what is this and i was like it's sweet he's like the swisher is it great oh yeah hey big dog hey dog like not to say like it's just where i'm from like from detroit i'm trying it like great switch is just like only smoke because kill the weed burn the weed and [ __ ] don't and so like supposed to taste the weed they spend all that money for some [ __ ] grape [ __ ] kool-aid and he said he didn't want the right he said you could have seen him a week if he's gonna be the greatest switcher dog i can't really [ __ ] i was like i learned right there i was like oh that's a thing you know what i mean like oh my bad from jersey my bad [ __ ] being on the difference between jersey and new york for real but hey yeah don't say don't don't ever do that get it right we get it right get it right okay fine from jersey respect that's different wax is definitely from jersey anyway who is wax pack he gave me the who was wax pad that's it y'all see we got me on you just be singing random songs out of nowhere hey that's all right i'm a new so i love you bandana mixture together i like to sing that song when i get a new puppy look at the puppy and spin him around in the air that's how you get a dog love you how many puppies how many puppies you got no i just i just the last puppy we had was when i bought from my dad but i sing it to him okay all right but the way the girl's got a dog too you gotta don't you got a french fry yeah yeah our dog but max max max oh no he he passed the puppy stage it's kind of like people just walk by him now and he has to feel it i think he knows he knows he's like like cool all right cool yeah [ __ ] it i'm gonna sit down that's how it is that's cruel what's up with your dog like i've taken my daughter to go play with cp dog my dog was so damn rambunctious and like he threw up like he was just so excited cp dog was like hey get your boy dog this dog wouldn't even talk to my dog no more like i said old dog [ __ ] hey i ain't gonna lie me and max still gossip about that like remember my mom he said uh yeah we don't do uh flavor switches bro yeah my man like cp had a real [ __ ] moment like look dog i'm gonna be real with you but [ __ ] did that [ __ ] one last time you had a great swisher [ __ ] you ain't [ __ ] hey yeah i had that [ __ ] i had to put my [ __ ] on deck man you got to put trash meat in the grape swisher to hype it up flavors the type of [ __ ] you with an instant blood here hit this guy it's delicious hey you know it's real when the [ __ ] hit you with that hey big dog let me holler at you real quick jackie do you smoke yes sir really yeah joints how do you do when you sleep or uh i've never rolled one i usually let the man roll them i never wrote them before yeah get [ __ ] up in phoenix i take the flour and put it in the pipe i don't know how to roll a joint myself when girls say that they don't know how to roll they just be naked on the bed like you roll it i mean it works see people why can't i stick with if it i works i could smoke man i can't do it it just i'm so unproductive when i try to do a dog sydney wait wait let me finish it because before i finish it you gonna say some [ __ ] like you just saying have the right [ __ ] [ __ ] i tried all the [ __ ] get your tv lined up all the [ __ ] on the counter i tried all the [ __ ] and guess what all that [ __ ] did the same thing make me smoke with kevin smokey every time kev hit that he'd be like crazy lord [Music] [Laughter] no no no smoke man and i i haven't been smoking in here in new york long in late that i was getting used to the pre-roll i was a pretty [ __ ] wheat is trash i go in la in a dispensary and buy like 37 pre-roll your weed is trash i'ma tell you that [ __ ] is trash some baby jesus next time it's too much work they want to tell you the history of every strain i'm like i just want to the last time i bought wheat in new york this dude gave it to me in an aluminum foil and then he had it twisted up like it was a bag i was like i'm not smoking this [ __ ] man no i got i got a formal i found a formal referral for a weed dude out here what's funny is that i put him in a lift from his house and send him to my house he thinks he's like he's like really i'm like yeah nick i'm not coming down there you come to me that's genius jackie i listen in new york i know i was going which is dumb and i went to go pick up some which was dumb because i was like obviously i wasn't you know where i wasn't supposed to be and the dude came i had to go over there so it was like where are we going and i was like just right here then we got two stops and then the dude came out and gave me like a lunchable right and then in a lunchable like lunchable box and then like it literally it had to we like in a lunchable but i was like all right i just had a little lunchable for the week next time send him the car put him in the car and have him bring it to you like yo bro no because then now that [ __ ] knows where i live like you know i'm gonna rob them do that they think you could listen man [Music] every time i'm trying to go to a weed shop and i tell them i'm new they still do the same whole presentation like they bring out the jaws out like this what that smell like right there i'm like it smells like weed okay okay okay smell this one what this will smell like [ __ ] all of it all it stinks all of his speaks go home at this point all of a sudden you don't even deserve to be there cologne cologne smells good food food's not good what's your favorite stream my favorite is blue dream that's a good one jackie see that's a good one that's a good one i write a lot of jokes it makes you very it's inspiring i like green crack makes me uh write a lot yes i've had that too green crack in las vegas i'm not gonna do anything that's got crack in the name but go ahead to each his own i was gonna focus i mean at first i used to order indica again cp was staying with me and he was like hey brother there's other weeds besides [ __ ] to make you fall goddamn down and feel like you pass out you god damn can you try something i was like this [ __ ] he'd be like hey you put it in the wheat i put it in the weed this [ __ ] order like yeah what y'all got what's stronger than that stronger than that all right i'm like bro so now all i got is this the my little portion that way i'm like bro this [ __ ] is too much he's like yeah everybody just lay it out on the couch everybody on the floor james over there the whole tuesday gone over there we just like oh you see it like hell yeah that's how you do it like what the [ __ ] you doing [ __ ] we ain't freestyling or nothing we're not getting nothing done but look yo city's the king of freestyling when he get high all right y'all we we freezed out for like an hour straight like a whole hour i was like i don't want to rap no more man i don't want it you got to come up with something but you got to hear a little rap i'm with it bro i just i just bought that i just bought the mic where i got it for christmas fairy and got me the mic and everything and i got the whole [ __ ] i would be over there a lot you like damn why it'll be uncomfortable like six years ago that's cool let's go he said he has a new song i ain't going nowhere so that's fine you can come over i ain't going nowhere i'm chilling man i don't know i was telling stories about about buying my shifty though he could rap too to rap oh yeah [ __ ] i'm dope but you know people know i take it anyway so uh me and my wife went to miami when he was in college and this is this is this is not acting scary because you're in front of your girl get you in a bad situation like she wanted to do everything she wanted to get scooters and we own the scooters i don't know how to ride scooters like that so we wobbly off the scooter having to put the foot down a lot more than i'm comfortable with you know what i'm saying but she wanted to ride the scooter she wanted to be on the back of the scooter you know we ain't like that that ain't we from detroit whatever anyway we do that then we we you know get some weed now she got me asking for weeds right i'm asking random names some big dread like [ __ ] see i got the weed come around the corner come around the corner this [ __ ] served me out his hand and he i'm and so i stopped you like what [ __ ] you scared and then right in front of fire from her i'm like no [ __ ] what is it and uh and it wasn't good that's about his hand you lose track of your story what happened it just wasn't good and i knew better and uh yeah you know what i'm saying that we was mixed with the starburst paper [ __ ] he told you he gave you everything that was in his pocket lit loose change an old toothpick [ __ ] you just haven't made it with trash as a [ __ ] who don't smoke weed i don't want to hear your add-ons to the story you think everything stinks you don't know what it is trust me he pulled it out of his personal sack probably i never saw the sack but i'm just i hope so you ever had edibles to hear uh yeah i've done edibles i've done like that nerds rope i've done cookies i've done brownies i've done suckers it all has the same effect it all just makes me sleepy it's better in my opinion it's better than alcohol alcohol to me is a problem let me tell you why let me tell you because i know how much i can drink and i know how long i'll be [ __ ] up but you heard what you're saying i know how many blunts is going to get me [ __ ] up i know how many i need for the day how many for the hour i know hi my name is i can buy some whiskey in l.a i can buy the same risk in new york i buy the same whiskey in st louis atlanta miami it don't matter that whiskey is gonna do me the same amount you from new york and then you go to la you try that weave like yeah i'll try that that's not the same i always i got my own vape pen you got it you know technology is amazing and they ain't got coors you might drink coors light okay so you go to some cities and you smoking coors light but guess what you're drinking of course like what happened you get [ __ ] up you buy enough of course like we come on come on come on you're living that's not the same thing say it it is the same thing because even though it's trash weed i'm still gonna smoke it i might have to i might get a headache when i smoke it i might have to take ibuprofen and then smoke the weed but i'm still gonna get high i'm gonna complain but i'm gonna finish it i'm gonna finish it i got you bro i got you bro when i get back i got you bro it ain't gonna matter no you need to grow up to here up to him i want that creative weed that everybody is talking about oh my god i want i want to hold a joint you're gonna think the wheat make me funny i just feel like you might be in a good buzz like a good and that's the state of like okay this is a cool buzz you know what i mean like i can't you know drive and smoke like i give anxiety but like at home right kind of i'll be having my knee like this and [ __ ] be like oh i see that's the thing like i don't know how long it lasts either y'all be high for like well you don't have to know the answers to him how many drinks i have and how long i've been drinking and how was i pacing myself that's what it really depends on but i know that okay did you drink a lot of water how many bloods have you had actually i drink more water when i'm smoking then versus when i'm drinking so i'm actually no because i'm re-punishing my body i'm really mindful of taking care of myself when you drink and you're not mindful of how you [ __ ] up your body you like give me one more give me one more you're like you dying i record and we don't have to release it maybe to like two more years but can i record a session of me like different and like smoking with me you say what can you recall what would be introducing your different strands and we going through a smoke session like that'd be fantastic i don't here's the thing i only need to hit hit it once because i mean that'll take like that'll take like a week to do because once i hit it once you can't miss the strain right here let go of control don't try and control it it's not like you're stranded you're gonna like oh [ __ ] no this is guys this is why he can't do it he can't relinquish control of the unknown i blame the freckles i wouldn't do nothing that's gonna give you a panic attack i promise you freckles just jumped on you and they just was everywhere huh you just there ah and you know but you gotta calm down off of that every hey that ain't the life ain't the freckles you understand me you have control out here but you don't necessarily need it see that's the thing about it you don't know what it's gonna be you have lost control and and so for you you think you have to over control after ranji sometimes he has more control in the loss of control you all know that video game they'll be at the arcade that cat [ __ ] that's the claw i'm trying to give you all some gifts sometimes you get more when you let go one imma drop it in your bucket you see how long it took to here to take a vacation he's not going to relinquish no control for no weed you got to relax i feel listen i'll be feeling the high coming too i feel it and i i feel like on the inside i'll be looking at the at the highlight now bring your ass over here [ __ ] we straight oh another word if he had edible and he went too far he would kill somebody i don't like an animal edibles yeah i don't like that bloodhound like in the bloodstream absolutely no because that's that is a lack of control that's right lingers one time i was in syracuse funny ball right she could last 24 hours go with tony rock right i'm not like staying in the hotel or whatever it's snow it's kind of like sleepy outside i'm smoking i'm new at it smoking in a hotel my dumb ass thinks i'm just this is really dumb with me uh i'm in college one year and a half uh two different colleges so then i put the steam i thought i was told steam kills the smoke my dumb ass in no smoke in the bathroom so i let the shower steam come in the whole place listen i was due the smoke detector go off in the whole goddamn hotel right [ __ ] i go to tony room like boom boom boom boom open door open door he's like what you want yo like open the [ __ ] door it goes wrong i was like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] the alarm that's me that's me that's me he said would you smoke in the room i was like yeah how much you got left literally had this much left i was i think i need to dump this dump this is cocaine the fire department and the police are coming to the goddamn hotel because they gotta address the the situation [ __ ] i come downstairs that's why i love black women dogs so much dog i walk my department is with me like they they like they come upstairs and they're like what's this excuse me they open the door they go what were you doing here i was like i was steaming my room because you steaming the whole room he goes he looked at me dog he goes cancel that we got a five six whatever code he had for it he was like you were steaming your room and i was like yeah and i went downstairs to the black lady i was like hey how are you doing this old black lady she's like what was you doing in the room i said i was steaming the room she said look at me what were you doing in the room and i said you you know what i was doing and then i had to pay the fine but yeah i thought i was going to jail how much was the fine i wanted to find a 250. nah that ain't worth it just for steaming the room you ever get to a hotel room and that [ __ ] be musty my [ __ ] nerd i hate some musty surroundings what why are you saying like you're dropping hits at somebody like oh i'm just saying that you're trying to be one of your viewers yeah in the back of your throat like yeah it is elaine for that yo he's talking to somebody in particular i know that came out of nowhere i'm not i'm not but must must be must must be something else must must be some [ __ ] cuz i tell you what i would want to smoke with cp though because i imagine it's a whole other world here's my thing like i i don't want to smoke with somebody i want to smoke with a professional somebody that that that knows how to do it but i also want to smoke somebody's super chill like fairy super cheering when she smokes like she starts smoking she should do a little silly stuff with them but then she just be super chilled like sitting there i don't want to like smoke with somebody that's doing too much and i feel like i'm supposed to be doing too much and not feel like i really do too much [ __ ] be like yeah don't bring this [ __ ] yeah i've been high around cp before and he was like doing you were too fast like everything he was doing was too fast i was like moving too much i gotta go y'all to here you have to go through the phases of being a new smoker and so you can't be around me because i want to be around no [ __ ] like that because it's like you got to go through a phase where all you think about is yourself like what do i look like how do i be coming through like that's a phase you gotta smoke through that face then you gotta smoke through the face where you get the giggles you gotta smoke through the giggles then i'm gonna be around no giggles [ __ ] then you gotta you gotta smoke through your through sleepies phase [ __ ] in this phase was like i'm smoking when i wake up and i'm cool yeah you know what i'm saying i smoke before lunch and i'm cool i smell before i go to the gym that's the best workout you ever gonna get and then you hear one day you're gonna smoke and you have an idea like damn that was smart as hell if you can make it when you when your microdose when you micro dose before a big show that's also fantastic because you clear your head of all kind of there you go you brought me to a show in philly and i smoked with tworay on the way to the show and and it was so heavy the weed like literally on stage i had to say that's why i never smoked like that before a show now because that was so high i said yo i apologize y'all i said i smoke with two ray and i'm new and he's experienced and whatever he gave me is making me uncomfortable right now right and they like they laugh because they realize oh he's really going through it and i'd tell you i had to tell to write like that is the weed was delicious but i could not i can't handle it before i go on stage it can slow you down and you think you're talking at normal pace yeah yeah that's why i don't drink before i go on stage man you need to get up yeah that's why i i already talk fast and when i drink i talk faster and then it just sounds like i'm a latin chick from brooklyn i don't really i i have no papers like definitely illegal don't let me talk to my mom before the show no it's not gonna happen hilarious i feel like i repeat myself too much when i'm when i'm when i have been on like wait did i say that already and i just i i end up getting paranoid and insecure as i just shut up and i just that's what it's also insecurity about what you'll be like when you're high you got to relax then you'll get to the [ __ ] mode when you're like i'm gonna [ __ ] with a little like when i'm high exactly because you're gonna be you am i when you're not i like cologne too much though you could you you could still wear cologne and smoke yeah what that got to do with anything y'all lips be changing and then y'all be chasing if i wouldn't have told you i smoked you wouldn't have known how you say y'all i feel like you don't smoke as much as anybody you and jackie don't smoke as much i smoke 24 i'm high right now why you think i was late i wake up and smoke i go work out and smoke i smoke about six or seven blunts a day i'm a fortunate weed head you wouldn't know and you know what's crazy to hear to hear i smoke about two joints a day and look at you and i'll be having a good ass time the ball be tipped yeah i'm a functioning wee head i have to stop oh really i didn't know you smoked that much i'm just going to show you guys this didn't happen overnight i'm just now in a place where i wake up and i have a blunt a coffee you know and then i'll eat and then afterwards i i need a midday blunt i gotta go work i gotta go do things i gotta write and after that i go to the gym i have a celebratory blood after the gym and then don't let somebody piss you off that day then i have somebody pissed me off blood exactly so then and having a good ass day i'm having a good ass day i'ma have a good ass day blunt so and then you have a nighttime blunt so i have three different strands of weed that i go through in one day sometimes it makes your chores fun too oh man and you i get a nice hybrid so i'm not too high i'm not too low that makes laundry more fun it makes the mundane more interesting oh the bobby tipper show the bobby jump shot the what the bobby tip the show oh it's in here do you need a cleaning part a cleaning lady uh me and i see p we have a clean leg she's excellent i've been using for like nine years she dope as hell wow and he'd be looking sad they just make you order a pizza but i guess god it's okay i eat tomorrow like no you eat today [Laughter] hey you ordered a pizza for real every time every time saturday night come with her to work because you know it's a saturday so like yeah you know i do i order some food because you know you're a good kid bro he don't do nothing he just sit on the couch and literally just watch cartoons yeah me and she hooked the [ __ ] with some shoes it was too big i'll say i said hey man what's i'll show you where he goes oh these my mom's shoes my brother has the other shoes and i was like oh i see your birthday coming up he's like yeah he said last year he wasn't like being like disrespectful he's like last year i didn't get anything but it's okay and i was like i got you and like so i called cp like he bought his xbox i bought that we bought that two pair of shoes like baseball bat gloves like soccer ball at the world all the pizza he can eat he can eat i had like a zoo like while he was there and dog look i ain't gonna hold you dog i'm doing the zoom meeting i told him i said i got to work so you know could you be quiet yeah cool of course i was zooming like working i looked over there he was hugging his soccer ball like you like a kid that like was appreciative [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] listen this [ __ ] love playing with max he played somebody play with your dog better than you all right max come here y'all out there hugging this [ __ ] come here clean rubbing you gotta [ __ ] that cause you've been ignoring max you'll be ignoring the [ __ ] out of max ah they do i love my dog on that way today might come in oh my god you have a puppy i'd be like hey get over here loving him like that he he liked how he lived are you ever scared somebody gonna take your dog away and love him better than you did nah i just don't want my dog to be telling my sister dog being licking their face like and they don't feed me right and it'll be some [ __ ] you know and they have a lot of company but i can't do nothing in here oh [ __ ] i pissed a couple times they beat me you think they'll hit me because i'm causing does that cost a lot of thousand dollars no they don't give a [ __ ] they beat me like it wasn't [ __ ] shout out to marcus man marcus always comes food shows a lot of love man uh i appreciate it hey man hey is the bearing on here i need popcorn to deliver to my mama house i'll pam if he on here i need the strawberry shortcake go to my d if he only please go to my dm i need this strawberry shortcake popcorn asap because i want my mama see i left that popcorn in your career when you offered it to me that day and i was pissed off so i'm like man he don't even know that he don't have enough he's like missing a game too much popcorn like oh he don't know yet i'm like man i'll take them off your hands if you if you if you hear that man please get your cover back i'm like two boxes of popcorn i was like yo i'm doing all this talk you know how much [ __ ] smoke and what [ __ ] eat [ __ ] [ __ ] oh munchy food yeah yeah that's why i started baking low-key because i got tired of like having to go find munchie food and i was like yeah i could just make a cake i just do it myself i'm just doing my i'm making brownies next week [ __ ] it i'm on this uh this daniel fast right now where i'm like only eating like it's basically wait you're on this one a daniel daniel fans but he only eat daniels right now in 2021 i'm trying the daniel fast and what i'm doing is basically you do it with your church it's basically like detoxing so you basically do uh you observe a vegan diet um for the most part uh no no animal byproducts i don't feel like you believe in this to hear you're not really selling you don't even know what to do i i just i just i mean explaining it you gave me two things that you do that's not a i don't know what that is like your enthusiasm is killing me you said go vegan and uh come back in the bible but like you know it's vegan some fish so it's like and you you stick with it if you can it's just big all right dang it fast you're supposed to do it for 21 days last night we're gonna do it for the whole month i'm not drinking this month i'm not i don't have no that's why you're you're sober right now yeah you look happy you look uh satisfied yesterday you look good you look good thank you and i'm working out look unhappy as hell i mean you know anytime like i came off of a week of vacation every day you know it's important like i say partying but it's literally just playing playing my airpods as loud as i want to and drinking i wouldn't really play your airpods you don't even got you can't play the speaker no i can't i just you know you get older now you seem louder after 10 o'clock like after 10 o'clock he was like let me turn this [ __ ] down yo i'll be barking on my neighbors now i'm that person i'm like yo turn that [ __ ] down yo it's 1105. like what you doing i can't take music in the morning first thing in the morning i can't take that that drives me [ __ ] nuts i like jazz in the morning the morning i played some jazz i got my cup of coffee you wanted your [ __ ] before noon yeah you know i'm an old [ __ ] man i'm always in a whole new show so listen um it's 8 52 it's about that time we started doing a wrap up man we want more let's just make it till two in the morning this is not clubhouse this is not good uh [ __ ] i gotta hand you dates um kadeem has been doing the ads in between the show uh letting y'all know that more to the story new episode came out today and also tomorrow's a new episode of um wearing this heart now i want to tell y'all why y'all here right now the people that are watching because i'll make that another announcement another time we are on heavy lockdown over here in l.a to the point where we cannot even film like that so after tomorrow's episode the next couple of episodes that you're going to see of wordness heart is going to be virtual i will be in the studio maya will be there but the guests will be virtual we got a whole setup going on so we're going to let you guys see that hope you guys like it but uh yeah man we got to do what we got to do because the world is still cool we're filming on on filming kind of on the low why do you have to stop it's kind of just health-wise man yeah just trying to be be safe as possible so but you know it's it's some good side to there's some upside to that too so you guys have seen the upcoming weeks uh just can i be on one of those episodes absolutely i'm doing four tomorrow and then i probably need to film another four the week after that so i can get you on that second round you're doing forward a day well wording is hard yeah yeah you know a lot of fun yeah but they say when my episode was one of the best ones that's what the comments you're saying but whatever that's what mine said mine was clear with that thank you both of you guys had great episodes i just wanna let you know my daughter washed y'all though all right people were loving her episode what's your daughter i can't compete with her she's a goddamn moral you know i can't compete i only want to compete she wins every time she's a lebron awarding we're friends uh let's go um let's go jackie uh cp lou and then see it go to my website jackiefabulous.com uh i'll be adding whatever tour dates i have uh this friday saturday and sunday i'll be orlando improv opening for russell peters so if you're in orlando and florida come home at your girl my podcast relatable with jackie fabulous on my youtube page and you can listen to it at all outlets where you can hear a podcast and thank you for those that have cash at me and god bless and i missed you guys and have a wonderful new year we'll be all we'll be here together all year but happy new year everyone we are not talking we're here we in here um well what we got lou on the see outside who did i say cp cp they be going fine i've been spoken out of his mind eating his kids snacks and so they ended up being stale so i brought the graham crackers as a backup and i wash it down with the banana because you high delicious that's a horrible combination but i get it none of that was good right now a banana and a graham cracker girls and i get the i get the cheetos no the cheetos are done they're stale so they said so they can't be a part of it um i'm sorry yeah it's [ __ ] up that was gonna do the whole thing like a little picnic right at my table like a little are you booze you better just me yummy it's just me and me true cheetos shouldn't be thrown out yeah you may eat that no they still they still probably i find it like muscle through it you can get through it go-karts and [ __ ] when you start buying go-karts you get real bougie you don't want to get nothing stale no chips no crackers no none of that no cars you getting right there right there we're right at costco a couple hundred dollars don't don't do that anyway what i'm saying is this what i'm saying is this now i got big teeth my teeth need the satisfaction of a real crunch i don't [ __ ] around with nothing still i gotta get down in there that's right you're not that big i haven't seen some long teeth you don't got big teeth no but they why though they why you know what i said you know they feel like this they beat from my skeleton let me see ap get back on topic anyway um so i just put up some new merch uh for the sea peeps um masks shirts hoodies you know hats all kind of stuff with with my new cp logo merch and all that that's on cpworldstore.com i would appreciate it if y'all get it uh i'm gonna put a discount code up for y'all ten percent off if you use the code zoom in with cp um i mean not like that but you're saying like because you zoom in and you got it from zooming we'll see if he has to look that ain't trying to take over to his show i don't know if you whatever anyway um also also uh uh i did a comedy special me uh teddy ray and uh lewis belt it was i just you know it was it was some jokes i felt like i was really rusty man i just wanted to just go up there and have fun i didn't really you know so just you know people saying it's funny you know it ain't up to my loving but whatever my patreon has great standups that i've done if you want to check that out um back on the road february 5th um in uh perrysburg that's toledo yeah yeah yeah wait a minute wait a minute yeah it felt like it was a season two and then i'm done i love you i wanted to see how long he would go all right uh we got a strong giggle game don't you anyway uh follow me on uh on everything at comedian cp uh including twitch somebody to get on twitch in a little bit and uh play some games that's it man forget y'all man i'm hot y'all ain't got these cinnamon [ __ ] too these got the cinnamon on top like cement like glitter on these [ __ ] y'all i wish i could feel like braille i could read it says um right it's on it go ahead basically laugh like i'm smoking that's was hilarious i'm coming down from mine so he's this was right on time okay oh man i can't compete with cp like i don't have my lipstick that long so you can catch me every day on live and live with lulu on cat feed i'm streaming i'm gaming all that good [ __ ] follow me on facebook at lulu gonzalez new sketches every week and hit the website lulu gonzalez.com there's some merch there's some dope [ __ ] on there and that's it every day good for you yeah i mean i play games every day might as well yeah fight prayer what you guys said i'm taking that appreciate that you put your hat to the side like our old 90s r b singer let me tell you something now that [ __ ] came around here the other day i told the boy don't drive that guy on my goddamn lawn all right now that they came in here driving all which way all crazy you find me on the facebook you can charge is funny on all social networks man hey listen i'm trying to get my youtube up as well i'm at 810 followers and by the end of 2022 i'm trying to get 900 followers so y'all go follow me on my youtube page because i heard we get to a thousand you can go live so i'm trying to go live by 2025 slow goal slow roll and uh i got a podcast i do every wednesday with the hilarious ab johnson called justfriends on youtube check it out it's live every day every wednesday at one pacific standard time and man my comedy album texas diamonds out the bodybutters.com get your beer butter man and that's it man i love you all and god bless everybody happy new year man love jackie i love lulu shout out to cp into here i appreciate you and the cash apps can your friend can you unblock me now i text you i text you my number so let you know you didn't text me you're lying i did i free because i don't block you oh you're lying there's no text from you you're lying to the people lulu got it because it say sydney i don't got nothing from you you change your number my [ __ ] or sydney you have had a lot of i've had like five numbers in my phone with you over the years i didn't always do comedy um uh three is you three four seven right no i'm not oh well then i hope that [ __ ] that i didn't say lulu no that's not me you gonna put my old [Laughter] i number text you it's a 917 number and you still got me blocked you see you see no i don't think so i yeah could you the last thing you said was i love you and i was like i love you too sid and it got blocked i was like [Music] i want to give a shout out to uh look at how many sydney's i have in here can you see it no no 818 i want to give a shout out to h jacobs i'm going to give a shout out to josh i want to give a shout out to digitizer give a shout out to natasha young dudes taking the stage josh english ernest galloway uh shout out to jonathan uh jessica seeley i appreciate you guys uh saily i'm sorry uh thank you so much for the donation definitely appreciate it big shout out to kadeem for uh controlling things and making sure everything goes up right um shout out to the more monsters doing what they do obviously big shout out to the rewatch gang appreciate y'all for watching everything keeping it moving um who else scary squad more mob that's all love is always love i appreciate y'all man and the more my patreon man you know i got uh some dope things working for you guys i'm working with this new designer right now so we're gonna we're gonna get some great things for you guys and um i appreciate y'all for tuning in and keep watching man we got great things coming on make sure you watch the new episode of more to the story dropped earlier today new episode of word and this heart is dropping tomorrow and i up man i so want to tell y'all who the guests are going to be on this next weirdness or but i'm just going to wait you just got to appreciate all the cash apps are you watching cp this whole time nobody's watching this because it's lace cp wheat is laced with a banana that's what to say wait okay listen i want to say shout out to uh all my cash out people who some people send me 19.11 they know what's up 1911. here we go uh amiri tiffany sims see you peeps jacobs uh shamika snow shannon and brittany hadia young deuces uh uh nantelle damn that's a code that's way to spell it all right terrell scott josh uh taking the stage uh joe earnest kenny benjamin nakia uh [ __ ] vanessa jessica jacquista jonathan appreciate y'all man i want to say everybody name that's important say my [ __ ] name you give them that power of respect i appreciate it uh shout out to colin as well and i want to give another big shout out to marcus man marcus always comes to the chat and drops off a couple of bands well a couple hundreds and finances uh yeah i appreciate you marcus man that that that that's gonna be paying somebody's payroll until i figure out how to do the the stuff that kadeem is doing myself so definitely appreciate you doing that man oh that was nice i think we started eating bananas after monkeys or before them like y'all said we saw them [ __ ] themselves like ooh all right y'all y'all be easy y'all be safe i tell [Music] kids [ __ ] them kids milan i'm a big guy the thought of pink nipples drives me insane you are now watching zooming with the homies you

Channel: Tahir Moore

Views: 73,915

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Id: RWn73k67Mdk

Length: 132min 20sec (7940 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 05 2021