Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator 2

hello everybody my name is markiplier and welcome back back look this is just an excuse for me to play god for a few moments and see what kind of chaos i can cause the moment that i'm given a modicum of power if you remember ultimate epic battle simulator one did i ever did i make a video on up ultimate epic battle sim did i listen did i make a video on i think i did thank you but i think i did i appreciate it i know you went to the effort of getting that but to be perfectly honest now i'm rejecting it because i think i did and i'm going to believe that i did thank you for having the proof but i'm not going to look at it i don't need to do that with all the self-confidence i have in myself wow hey so this is ultimate epic battle simulator 2 and what you have in here is a weight blood volumes like loud blood like this goddamn loud music can i turn this music down there we go thank you all right you know what i'm just going to take it out entirely i don't i don't feel like it licks you and add your own music that's what really matters okay armies 2 okay ancient greek spartan okay and [Music] now we're getting into it so we've got 10 000 no sorry i apologize 100 000 battle ducks versus 100 000 free-range chickens oh my god oh holy crap that is a lot of battle ducks wow the detail there is impressive that is a lot of ducks okay so um hundred thousand battle good god you're so far away they must have to do some crazy optimization to make this work hi well yeah i don't know what i was expecting you are just chickens which is fine because that's exactly what's gonna help you win this war okay go k stands for kill wow [Music] oh yeah sorry you're adding in your own music [Music] wow okay so that's one side i think you hear the cacophony of the clucks bouncing off the hills unless you are actually screaming [Applause] [Laughter] don't make me come over there [Applause] [Laughter] holy crap that was much funnier than i thought it would be [Music] oh my god [Music] let me try to i think i can possess one of them yeah here we go i'm going in [Applause] i'm dodging i'm bobbing and weaving i'm bobbing and weaving oh god i've been hit i'm stunned never mind i'm dead i thought the chickens didn't stand a chance but i guess i didn't know the powers that they had inside of them all along so i'm sorry i'm actually going to call this one a uh oh wait sorry p mode [Laughter] lexington put up some sad music because this is truly a massacre these brave ducks waddling straight into the face of death no one shall remember their deeds for history is written by the victors lo and behold the power of the hens free reigns as they are oppress the freedoms of those noble ducks [Music] some kind of symbolism about the wheels of the the gears of the the butchery of war i don't know i'm not good at this rts mode attack focus this spot all right it's it's a massacre that did very poorly performed wonderfully in terms of like uh computer performance that was actually quite good i i had no problems with that uh but as far as like a fair fight i don't think that was very good i have a funny feeling mantis trip also have a ranged attack i'm just gonna put them closer just so that they start fighting sooner but i also don't think this is going to go well i thought that battle ducks would be like the dominant uh party in the animal category but it turns out that they are completely trounced by uh everything else hello ago [Laughter] [Applause] wow [Applause] they're just getting punched into clouds of feathers oh my i mean i knew that the mantis rip would probably wall up this one but man they really truly just nothing but blood and feathers left over wham wow let me possess you i'm going in that's all i can do is peck peck futility [Applause] all right well um yeah it turns out the battle duck they ain't too good ducks got zero kills that entire time it was a massacre action man who the hell is that oh my god no it's john wick i'm so sorry oh [Laughter] oh my god oh my god [Applause] well i had a theory and it did not turn out to be good for the ducks but you know chuck norris can't be as bad uh yeah uh yeah kind of going as expected yeah not a kill not a kill for the ducks not a single kill for the ducks against an army of chuck norris i'm pretty sure that's the plural of norris's i don't know either way this is a massacre again okay so clearly there's like a numeric problem here there's too many numerals over on the side opposing the ducks so what we need is to reduce their numerals down so that there's some kind of a chance for these ducks to survive that would be the ideal is that they at least have a chance to score one kill and i think a ratio of ten to one ducks to nikola teslas is at least unless they shoot oh my god did they shoot lightning oh no oh your neck no oh no oh god no oh jeez [Music] oh my god go buddies go you can make it oh [Music] hey here my best friend [Music] you hey buddy how about yourself oh god [Music] it's almost beautiful in a way if it wasn't absolutely horrifying which it certainly is hey maybe i'll take a tesla and go for a few bam eh i'm diving deep into duck territory you can't get me i've carved a line right through the ducks what i don't have a battle cry like ghost science or anything like that just just nothing just shouting all right i thought that the numbers could work in the favor of the ducks but it turns out that it could not you think that you're going to be a hero if you even if you are a battle duck but turns out no american soldier shotgun sherman german soldier sure oh is that like the tank um let me see what else we got here standards standard zombie look how tiny that oh this will be perfect i think that the ducks might have a chance against some slow zombies there's going to be 10 000 of them it'll be easy i know that when this game gets more developed there'll be obviously more characters but i really hope they add voice lines to all of them i think i think it really adds something okay ah zombos okay this is good they might have a chance because they still got to go melee and so long as they have to do melee there might be an opportunity to overwhelm the zombies that's a lot of blood oh but one down get it pal look at that look at the damage to the ankles oh that's kind of a lot of blood wow [Music] this is glorious it is quite fantastical [Music] yes fight it's kind of close actually i wonder if i can get them surrounded ooh rts mode and then i grab you guys and i tell you to go this way and flank them yeah you flank them over there and then i will grab all of you guys and you're going to flank them here you're going to cut them around to the back you're going to cut them off at the pass there you go now we're getting strategy here yes look at them they have to peel off from the back to try to counteract the the the the flanking maneuver but they're not going to be able to get it because they're not going to be able to get enough there's too many the overwhelming number going towards the back is gonna be too much thin out the front lines try to try to use your numbers to overwhelm circle and and crush them yeah yeah draw them out draw them out yeah yeah there we go [Applause] yeah get him yeah yeah get him hell yeah they can't do much when they're all isolated now you got a big old duck problem behind you what are you gonna do about that pal whoa what does oh my god he's a hero oh he's dead but he was a hero i don't even know how you got back there it's still close that's the problem it's still kind of a close fight because if you look at the ratios it's almost it's very close there's a lot of blood on the ground but i'm thinking that as the zombies start to lose their numbers in greater and greater droves it's gonna lead the ducks to be able to overwhelm and isolate them and they're not gonna have their numbers uh but at the same time that number is kinda going up they got like a roaming squads of zombies around the back i'm not i'm not even sure how they're managing to do that oh hello this document actually is here interesting what are you guys doing over there why aren't you fighting go fight damn it fight like your life depends on it which it do oh they're about to get a break in the line here yes yes yes i think the tide might almost be turning let me get some action on the ground here oh god no no no [Applause] don't let yourselves get overwhelmed brothers pick off the weak ones peck peck like your life depends on it wichita oh i'm dead i'm alive all right oh actually the numbers don't look nearly as good as they once did because all of these ducks are just being lazy [ __ ] go also did i mention i'm not very good at rts so i don't even know if i'm doing the right strategy about that which i'm probably not hey if you're watching the video to this point in the video now is your chance to tell me exactly all the ways that i did wrong write detailed comments i'll be i'll be picking the winner based on how hard my feelings are hurt how bad you make me think how much you make me realize how bad i am at rts and also speaking oh oh i don't know i don't know i don't know if the ducks are gonna prevail i think i wasn't using my numbers appropriately i think i kept sending him around for the pincer move but i underestimated the ability for the zombies just to create a wall of flesh but that being said these guys are about to cave in oh but the numbers are getting worse a lot worse for the ducks here they just can't make the difference at the front lines oh but you got the flanking ducks you got the flanking what are they doing what they what are they doing why are they just sitting there why would you just no go further go further go further ducks go further ducks yeah yeah yeah this is where we this is where we uh hold them this is where we fight this is where they die oh looks like they're doing their own flanking maneuver on us look at all the inroads that ducks must have made in here like the trails of zombies just like you can see them like fingers spreading around little rivers of corpses this one didn't do so good but these actually made some good inroads all right i think i've got all of them kill you this one and then kill this one i'm micromanaging kill if i get my clicks per minute up it'll definitely work out in my favor and more zombies will die oh look a skull's opening up here oh no oh no oh no my dudes no no oh no the western flank is falling [Applause] oh but maybe not also there seems to be a breach rush the breach rush the bridge the bridge what are you guys doing over there the breach the breach breach it there's a hole breach push the breach oh i think they stopped because the the thing i targeted didn't hurt died they just called it an end there oh the western front might actually pull through on this but there's still so many zombies over there oh no it's not good guys it's not good it's not good guys no no [Applause] can i get a uh [Music] can i get f's in the comments for these brave ducks i thought that i had given them a match-up that they could succeed on but alas me as a general is not meant to lead ducks i was not able to take advantage of their complete skill set i take full responsibility for this failure and i tender my resignation as duck general effective immediately they were brave they were so brave they fought valiantly for a cause that they believed in [Applause] to protect the world from the zombie if infestation they did everything that they could and were for the most part completely without leadership even now this duck's just standing aimlessly awaiting orders but unable to do anything without my direct command in fact they said that i gave far too many speeches and not enough orders for them to know how to fight effectively and that i was so wrapped up in my own self-image my narcissism oozing out of every core of my body that i was not able to see the blood oozing out of every pore of their feathery body it is my fault yes for who else could have taken the mantle of responsibility such as i whose strong arms could have held their lives all in my hands and wasted them but i i should be given an award for the horrendous guilt i feel inside my soul for how negligent i was as a leader i probably am the most negligent that ever lived i probably feel the most guilt of anyone ever it's all my fault all me anyway um this is sad let's assume that some of these guys ran away and uh didn't die that's what i'm gonna that's what i'm gonna assume i'm actually gonna reduce the number down because these do take quite a while okay standard zombie was the only evil thing medieval yeah footmen archer catapult those don't sound too good redcoat fantasy troll troll troll what if there's only a hundred trolls trolls sound like they might be big and strong so this could probably be a better a better fight ah those are kind of big but it's a hundred versus 10 000. go my ducky brethren go oh oh oh is that your blood or their blood whose blood are you covered with are you about to die or or are you just covered in duck blood i'm not seeing any trolls falling i'm seeing a lot of ducks exploding in zero that i'm i've now come to the conclusion that these are in fact not the troll's blood it is in fact the um the duck blood that has exploded all over them because of the sheer force with which they are impacting these ducky bodies and they simply uh combust into feathers oh yeah well you're doing okay yeah keep pecking there buddy i really thought that they got kind of like a lot of bloody right when they were about to die but um like those ones they're really bloody boy that probably just means that they killed like a lot of ducks like you how many oh you have twelve thousand ah you're nowhere near about to ah oh oh no [Music] that was my bed but some how these ducks will know true victory archer full auto well that's not good and i didn't even pick archer fulato i picked sherman full auto i don't even know what a full auto tank would be ducks i'm sorry i was more curious than actually concerned about your victory here all right that did not go well okay is there any single one of these roman soldier let's put a thousand roman soldiers versus ten thousand battle ducks okay okay okay this seems reasonable go get a battle ducks [Applause] ah okay they're not dying immediately which is good um the roman soldiers are kind of oh [Music] i really do seem to have it out for these ducks but the truth is i really don't i i want them to succeed i want to see them be victorious i know that they have suffered defeat after defeat but i keep thinking that i'm going to give them a fight that they can win but apparently i can't i'm incapable of it and i don't want it to just be completely one-sided i don't want to just be like oh you're going to be 10 000 versus one enemy like i wanna give them a fight that they can be proud of something that they can go home to their duck families and and i don't know eat dinner or something talk about it over a beer a duck beer a de beer i'm just getting stabbed by a bunch of romans that's no way to go for a duck or maybe it's a great way to go for a duck i don't know i don't know what ducks like but i know that they like to win and so i'm gonna give him that sweet dub maybe spartan persian um okay so if this is set up like 300 then it was like the spartans versus the persians it was like if you wanted to do a 300 versus like 10 000 or so i'm imagining the persians are probably the weaker unit of the two so let's build this like the battle of thermopylae was that what it was called and let's put these ducks in this valley and then bring these persian soldiers over here to claim it ah okay let me actually make them 0.5 so they're long right so these ducks now fit in this valley that they are defending because they've got a choke hold on this and i think that given the dimensions of the area they should win actually wait no i'm doing this opposite i'm thinking about that completely wrong okay go for it [Applause] okay um so far bad so far very whoa maybe not maybe so far okay so far okay interesting okay so wow what wait what is happening to the mountain behind me is it melting is it melting oh it's deleting geometry as i'm looking but that's fine it's duck jesus smiling down on all these ducks look at them okay they might actually stand a chance [Applause] this might actually work this might work they might win even though i set this completely not what the battle of thermopylae or even whatever the hell that was was i didn't do this right but it doesn't matter because i think they're going to win unbelievably i think that somehow they're going to win is that oh that's a river of blood flowing down this hill ah ah it really is a river of blood that's kind of cool look at that they got a blood river and we're kind of getting a blood lake [Applause] that's horrifying good god [Music] [Applause] my brave ducks my brave brave ducks you used the landscape not to your advantage but my god you used it you were here on the land you fought back you triumphed you flanked them you broke their spirit and you won the battle i'm proud of you ducks i am so proud look at that wow now i just want to know how big of a blood river i can make okay a mountain of ducks versus a uh a ten tank battalion of full auto shermans my god this is probably gonna crash the computer oh my god they're falling they're full they're tumbling down the mountain does it have a million ducks in here well we're about to find out go oh 500 000 it looks like i think they're falling down the mountain and dying yeah oops ah my bad my bad guys my bad i don't know how close they need to be to be in range of the shermans but uh it shall be a glorious charge nonetheless my god they are not gonna get down that mountain are they oh i neglected to realize that there would be no blood if the blood is vaporized in a barrage of uh tank fire let me rethink this one what if instead okay i'm gonna make a custom character we're gonna do spartan okay wow nice man we're gonna do spartans we're gonna make him nigh unkillable we're gonna make him do unbelievable damage we're gonna make him attack real fast we're gonna make him attack no no that's good impact force uh zero splash damage yep nah they don't need splash damage ah they need nah they don't need splash damage they'll be fine uh leonidas we got a leonidas here and instead of this being here we're going to switch these around because they're going to be coming in and you guys are going to be holding just a team of 300 double wide maybe even triple wide right here at the highest part of the hill and then we're just gonna see how much blood is gonna come gushing down this hill and to see if it forms like a lake or something i don't know we'll see [Applause] i will die with honor okay well they're ready and they're getting all hype but here come the ducks some of them are just oh so eager [Applause] who wants to get ducked god i love the lines that's probably the best part of any of these games i mean i don't even know if the other games kind of had these lines it is beautiful the first kill [Music] oh wow they are kind of slow on the thrusts did i do that i might have done that i might have messed up leonidas ability wow never mind he was way too fast okay never mind they are much faster than i thought they were oh okay well i'm not seeing a lot of blood do ducks not have blood i'm beginning to think that ducks don't have blood wow that's a lot of dark holy crap [Applause] i gotta just keep going oh oh oh oh my god oh my god oh my god okay well uh doesn't matter anyway because it turns out ducks don't have blood let's do uh spartans to make it um not fair what's the opposite of fair uh make them feel bad about themselves and just how inadequate they really are go oh wow it's so shiny look at it so pretty oh my god it's so pretty it's so pretty you didn't tell me that they'd be so pretty look at that so pretty it's like oscillating waves of gold shimmering fish scales of glorious bright light that's so pretty why is that so pretty i mean it's about to turn into a river of blood but it's very pretty very pretty up and here comes the blood okay oh wow yeah that that's oh that's gushing oh that's gushing these guys are just a little twitchy i think oh my god let's see if i can catch him in slow motion oh yeah this is slow motion yeah yeah yeah this is what it means to be inferior gentlemen i apologize uh you should um should have trained harder oh my god there's just a very dense puddle of blood right here at the bottom it's supposed to flow down but i don't think it has enough time to flow down oh my god you're gonna be oh my god they're knee-deep in blood well this is what i wanted i'm gonna let this run for a while not joking i'm gonna let this run for a while but i'm gonna park it in a spot where you can see the trail of blood kind of develop i think you can just barely see it here so i'll be back as this progresses [Music] [Applause] oh i didn't quite expect that okay god powers numkeys or mouse wheel to switch shotgun smite oh [Applause] okay noah's flood i don't know what noah's flood is gonna be ah that's what knows maybe we can wash away some of this whoa they have water physics in this game what i'm gonna wash away some of that blood or maybe it's just gonna mix with it and it's it's gonna all turn red no it cleaned it kinda are you guys gonna drown if i do this whoa oh i think they took the um city [Laughter] that ain't right i don't think that's right oh boy well here we go well i can't really tell if it's doing anything oh no it's doing something this guy's drowning really did give a biblical flood here so let's um let's see what more we can do about it this is cool they got a lot of really cool stuff going on in this game like a lot of optimization clearly to get this much stuff going on at the same time but i don't know why it's just very very cool reminds me of like one uh this specifically reminds me of like um one of the earliest let's plays i'd i ever did kind of like after amnesia the dark descent i wanted to do a different let's play that wasn't horror based because i wanted to branch out and i didn't just want to do horror but i can't remember what the game was called you were like a uh a god type person thing that was guiding your people trying to get away and you you were able to be able to ate sand and like you there was a lot of water physics involved in the game i don't remember what the game was called but it is one of my early early early early let's plays wow that is still oh that is that is a blood tsunami right well uh that kind of clear oh that did clear oh oh my god okay well this is horrifying and yet they still i don't know if like the floor got dug down because they were fighting because i don't remember them they're fighting on a hill of bodies they're fighting on the mountain of bodies ah that is something that is something else wow okay wow and there's the runoff gross so this has been ultimate epic battle simulator 2. it's a lot improved from the first one if i if i'm any judge and i definitely probably did make a video about the first one so a lot of cool stuff here this is a very early release i think it's like 0.01 or something like that 0.11 or something like that it was on the main menu so look forward to seeing more out of this i think the voice lines is fun i think the powers is fun i think a lot of the what they have is going on is fun like i don't know how much charm you can get out of just making little computer things fight each other endlessly but uh they've done a lot i am very impressed so yeah link is in the description if you want to play first your elf link is in the description if you want to play this for yourself also is my video the first time i played it that definitely exists if it does exist it is in the description or if it's not in the description it's definitely in my channel somewhere so you got to dig down and find it yeah but i think that this qualifies as a sport of some kind tyler would be able to approve that because he does have a master's degree in sports administration and in fact uh i talk about sports with tyler a lot on our podcast go my favorite sports team which is where i a man who does not know anything about sports talks to a guy who does know a lot about sports so even if you don't like sports you can listen to the podcast enjoy me and tyler hanging out he would love that so uh go check it out that link is also in the description thank you everybody so much for watching and as always i will see you in the next video bye-bye [Music] bye

Channel: Markiplier

Views: 4,175,761

Keywords: markiplier, ultimate epic battle simulator 2, simulation, simulator game, markiplier sim game, sim, battle simulator, war simulator, battle simulation, funny, funny games, silly, goofy, mood, funny moments

Id: uNZM-yH0abk

Length: 37min 28sec (2248 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 06 2022

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