Pebbles The Stone Golem Will Bury Everyone - Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (TABS)

usually when i have an incredibly unfair fight in this game i'll refer to it as being like throwing pebbles at a tank except in this case your new nickname is pebbles and we're gonna throw you at a tank or throw a tank at you i'm not entirely sure how this is gonna go to be perfectly honest we've got some good shots from the tank some better shots from pebbles i don't know if i should be making yu-gi-oh jokes or monster rancher jokes but either way i am rock hard [Music] what's up guys welcome back to totally accurate battle simulator that game that i have spent years regularly breaking for your entertainment and it's always managed to bounce back until now like i get the feeling that the units i downloaded to show you guys in today's episode are just so ridiculous and beyond the scope of this game that it just kind of disconnected itself from the internet in an attempt to stop the abuse i have no idea how to fix this i don't think the developers have any idea how to fix this but if you've encountered something like this before and you know how to fix it then please tell me in the comments like i get the feeling making workshop episodes of tabs without the workshop is gonna be about as easy as playing air guitar in the vacuum of space now if this totally accurate smoldering pile of code decides to connect to the internet for you then i'm pretty sure you can find all of the units that we're gonna check out today in a campaign called units information even though it's also called medieval package which makes more sense we're going to start by facing off against the heavy squire you might remember the typical tab squire he's got a derpy little sword bucket helmet inflated sense of self-worth but the heavy squire is quite a bit different he's more armored he's got a shield that protects him from chin to chode and a real girthy hammer both modest and a ladies man even though i just described these basic vanilla squires as being as useless as a screen door on a submarine i still kind of want to see what happens when old goes toe to toe against new would it actually be an upgrade and we can outnumber them it's 14 against nine even though it's still even money so it's a fair fight we've got quantity versus quality usually i like being on the side of quantity but like that's in terms of pheasant rushes and hobbit origins nuts squires slaughters oh yeah those hammers absolutely slap even though we're putting up a better fight than i had expected we may get knocked down but we get back up again which is both a good wartime strategy and a chumbawumba song well if we were to ramp things up a little bit i would probably try the brawler because it's a very comparable unit it has a single one-handed weapon and a shield and is barely expensive six versus nine all right i guess we're on the side of quality do we have the better quality unit i don't even know if we could beat them in a 1v1 like why are these hammers useful these gumbies don't have bones what's possibly breaking right now seems like a whole lot of nothing because our brawlers are brawling or docking what you guys doing oh that's not good uh tabs i know you're broken and suffering right now but i wasn't expecting this to be the victory celebration usually there would be more meads and less ball touching we're going to call that a win anyway the heavy squire may have been comparable to other stuff we've seen in this game before but we've definitely never seen something like the hunter because it has both a melee weapon and a ranged weapon not sure how you're gonna fire that bow with one hand unless you shoot swords that'd be interesting are the arrows just for show how about five of your best and brightest hunters is against five of my most mediocre archers let's be completely honest i could get more of them that would be fair but i get the feeling they're all just gonna shoot each other at once this could be a tie if ties are even possible or not they pulled a han solo and shot first odd now we're super screwed you gotta be kidding me i guess it's just a whole lot easier to fire a bow and arrow when you've got a sword in your hand as opposed to a thumb up your ass the archers aren't quite gonna cut it but maybe the musketeers can this isn't a fair fight it should be four versus five i think that last musketeer would have made the difference we should shoot first you guys all shot the same dudes i think the other one just died of sorrow that his friend fell but now we lose i don't know why but the ranged units in this game are just complete wet farts when they're on my side of the battlefield i'll give you smart asses something to hunt how about a pack of velociraptors now i'm the one closing the distance and eating ass how do you like it we uh they're singing is it the velociraptor singing i mean that would make for an interesting reality tv show but i can't imagine it was the guys getting devoured by the velociraptors next up we've got pikeman and we've seen pikeman right except in this case rather than wearing uh feathered hats and puffy sleeves it's got thick armor and puffy sleeves and a pole that's much much longer i'm having a really hard time considering these melee units like if you're far enough away from somebody that when they fart you don't smell it that's not melee combat so much so that i'd be willing to bet that if i use the poacher it won't be able to fire an arrow before getting stabbed they have a really short range even more so than the shitty archers we used earlier they very well oh okay some of them shot and missed possibly hit the armor oh it's interesting the pikeman can stab more than once the typical pikes that we see in tabs can only do it once and then they drop their weapon and run in to tickle with their hats well historically these things were always used to combat cavalry not stab hunters or scratch backs across area codes so i'm wondering if a wobbly horse charge will have any effect it is 5 000 versus 2 000 so not exactly a fair fight but i'm willing to have an unfair fight every now and then so long as it's interesting oh the horses got stabbed but just wobbled it off we may still make fun of skyrim for horse armor but it seems to be worth the money because those horses just did not care i'm wondering if we use horses without armor will there be a difference can you guys stab these ones no i'm not even sure if they're hitting entirely it looks like there were some hits some misses and then a whole lot of lassoing i'm not even sure if ranged units are going to be particularly useful against these things because they've got like thick metal armor maybe firework archers would be best i would imagine they'll have a really hard time stabbing you with that if they're spinning around aimlessly oh yeah that's so many firework archers there's no way these things can get anywhere even one firework has them screwed okay perfect yeah we disarmed some of them oh they only drop the pike when they die okay so we can't disarm them but we can blow them up i'll take blowing them up well this is cool we've got an upgraded version of the witch which is kind of concerning because her hands are full and her legs are open but she's still grip and hold to that room somehow it's like a hot dog down there listen i'll be the first to admit that it's probably not fair to have a bunch of hobbits face off against something that's a couple of feet above the ground i mean how could they possibly reach it but at the same time i very much want to see them try and this switch is actually very different from the typical tab switch it doesn't multiply it doesn't do anything with fungus just kind of flies around and throws potions it almost flies like you would expect a witch to kind of well movement wise not orientation wise who would have guessed that it's difficult to stay upright on a broom when you're only gripping by your cooter okay yeah these hobbits are getting potioned and getting oh she's throwing poison apples that's really clever except i don't think these hobbits are sleeping and they're definitely not beauties uh can you maybe not drown that one or not yeah don't listen to me screw me most of you know that drowning a hobbit in a river isn't typically below me but at the same time i've had videos demonetized for picking on these short statured imaginary creatures before as if hobbits are real and an actual minority that can be persecuted i i don't i don't get it but point is whether i'm pissing off the u.n or the spca or wherever the christ keeps taking all my ads i just want to keep things safe for a bit so we're going gonna move on to a witch-off our witch versus their witch our witches versus their witch now we've got the best fungus among us and she is uh well winning losing no we won it's hard to tell because it looks like mine are blowing up but hers are falling most of the units that we've looked at so far have been really cool i've really enjoyed this faction but at the same time it's not stuff that would necessarily break tabs so let's just wrap things up a little bit this is the stone golem now you can see why the game is mad at me i mean it was totally worth it though usually when i have an incredibly unfair fight in this game i'll refer to it as being like throwing pebbles at a tank except in this case your new nickname is pebbles and we're gonna throw you at a tank or throw a tank at you i'm not entirely sure how this is gonna go to be perfectly honest we've got some good shots from the tank some better shots from pebbles i don't know if i should be making yu-gi-oh jokes or monster rancher jokes but either way i am rock hard hey pebbles do you mind if we run that back again except for this time with the more modern twist i don't know if he's gonna be able to survive a tank shell to the tits oh okay everybody survived he's got a little dude on his back i never even noticed and i think it controls time oh oh okay wait pebbles is dead but his little friend survived it look i've run over yeah being able to control time's not gonna help that what do you think pebbles would do against an army of squishy fleshy tabs units like i know we realized earlier they don't have bones but at the same time neither does a balloon you can still pop it i really like pebbles i'm worried i'm gonna have to delete all of these super interesting units just to get tabs to work again i don't want that to be the case i haven't had as much fun with the unit since snuffy yeah that went about as expected there's no shot arrows hurt him right i mean he's a giant rock and they're shooting pointy sticks should have absolutely no effect but oh oh no they focused on our little dudes oh that's a dick move pebbles is gonna be real mad about that he is so freaking cool a little bit wonky but that's okay still cool absolutely shaking off all of those sticks yeah you guys can't shake that off now can't oh you can here we go that's better we picked up the spare don't worry he's a great bowler oh no okay so he can take damage from arrows that's fair it's just heavily reduced i would guess it's pretty bad when i'm rooting for the enemy every single fight now i'm supposed to be trying to kill pebbles when in all reality i just want to feed him all of the cool new units that we got to see today the pikemen are a little awkward to say the least they're guiding everybody to their time-crunching death holy crap can the two combine their powers that looked like pebbles punched and then there was like a time freezing explosion you definitely got the reigning boulders i i need to come up with a name for the little guy on his back too it would have been oh you know we should call him boulder boulder will be the little one and pebbles will be the big one i like it and they won yes surprise surprise i'm gonna be completely honest with you guys i was really excited about the prospect of having a new wobbly horse unit but not so much with the horse night it's just weird i mean it's like a reverse centaur riding a horse it's also kind of concerning that it seems to have an aura around it which probably affects the other units somehow i mean i would be affected if i was standing next to a reverse centaur riding an armored horse i'm thinking you know cowboys know horses best how about we get uh a couple of gunslingers and a couple rootin tootin miners and maybe a cactus that's all i can afford okay that doesn't feel like enough but maybe we can shoot the horses nope nope that armor man oh man that sucks it's uh it's exactly what you would expect it to be i mean you know minus the cactus being stuck to it yes there we go okay guns went out it's the same as a regular wobbly horse in all reality it doesn't matter what's riding it it's the horse that's ridiculous we've seen the king and his puffy pantaloons plenty of times before but we've never seen him arrive announced by trumpeteers i'm kind of concerned with the fact that these things look like machine guns i mean they also look like tvs attached to machine guns but either way are they just gonna blow are they gonna be loud or are they gonna shoot at me i can't think of many wind-resistant bulletproof def units but the cactus is close right plants can't hear plants usually resist the winds plants okay they're not bulletproof but this one kind of is close enough we're gonna call it okay yeah it was the blowing well then can they only do that once or do they just oh that's interesting that that little like brown bit below it is kind of like a billows so it brings air in and then blows it through the trumpet and blows you away i think the king did a lot of work here considering it's it's dragging away the corpses of my plants but still that's different you can really use the trumpeteers to break up ranks i like it these dudes may be really good at blowing for the king don't take that out of context but i can scream hence youtube videos which is why i'm gonna use way too many shouters it's not a fair fight but again i don't care i just wanna see units why oh wait i don't think shouters can kill anything right they can shout stuff off the edge of the map but this is a pretty wide field so the trumpeters can't kill anything the showers can't kill anything this is essentially the king just having a field day he can kick whatever ass he wants oh this sucks come on you idiots fus him into the shadow realm help me out here they just keep getting one-shotted by the claymore oh come on like i really want a dragonborn not golf balls and helmets they're getting whacked around this sucks oh and the stupid freaking trumpeteers they oh they actually killed him i was gonna say they're just wasting time it's like they blow the ball further away and the king's gotta walk all the way down the course to hit it again i think the final unit we're gonna check out today is called the slasher and i wanna say it's really intimidating or at least it would be if i didn't know there was a tabs unit underneath all that armor i refuse to believe they're gonna be able to swing around four blades i'll keep my single sword thank you very much i'm sure the samurai will be able to honorably dispose of these things whatever they are they're definitely outnumbered see how things go okay um i wouldn't really say that they're swinging they're more so spinning you know can you call it swordplay or can you call it lawn maintenance either way it did exactly what i had expected it's just flailing would you think a tabs unit is gonna do like darth maul choreography all right you know what i think that's gonna be it for this episode of totally accurate battle simulator guys and even though i can only connect to the workshop every now and then if at all i did manage to download this pack which has like three full factions of really interesting units we only looked at maybe half of one faction today so if you guys want to see more as always be sure to leave like this video leave a comment letting me know and maybe pebbles will return to kick some more ass thanks much for watching this video i hope you enjoyed and i'll see you next time [Music] you

Channel: CaptainSauce

Views: 855,409

Keywords: totally accurate battle simulator, tabs, totally accurate battle simulator funny, tabs funny, totally accurate battle simulator funny moments, tabs funny moments, tabs custom units, tabs golem, tabs stone golem, tabs medieval faction, tabs new units, tabs stone giant, tabs rock golem, tabs rock giant, tabs strongest unit, tabs best unit, captainsauce, captain sauce

Id: EwXvXo5ymb8

Length: 18min 49sec (1129 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 11 2022