Worst Reasons To Break-Up | Seinfeld

what are we doing what in god's name are we doing what our lives what what kind of lives are these we're like children we're not men no we're not we're not men we come up with all these stupid little reasons to break up with these women i know i know that's what i don't it's what i do are we gonna be sitting here when we're 60 like two idiots we should be having dinner with our sons when we're 60. we're pathetic you know that yeah like i don't know that i'm pathetic so how are the desserts here everything is delicious you've tasted them mm-hmm i think almost all of them oh i see they have apple pie you've had the apple pie many times audrey i got to be honest with you i'm a very curious guy it's my nature i need to know things not tasting the apple pie the other day i can't get past it you obviously like pies you carry donuts in your bag you're not averse to pastry surely you can see how such a thing would pray on my mind can we drop this what can i know so you sure you're not still angry about last night no i'm fine just as long as you don't ever do that voice again never never well what about if you're not around no that's all i have to choose between seeing you and doing the voice that's right i can do that what's your decision i don't know is it me you're looking for i can see it in your eyes [Music] i can see it in your smile [Music] jerry hi hello [Music] what a movie good choice thanks scott he recommended it oh he's really great isn't he yes he is yes he is let me ask you something when you come out of the shower and you you put your robe on do you cinch it real tight are you concerned about that george you hold the neck together with one hand or you're just letting it flap in the breeze george you're being ridiculous what's the massage situation what do you mean is there any work being done is there any rubbing touching finger manipulation on the other person and if so who's making the request would you just stop say you're going to the bathroom at two o'clock in the morning what's the outfit i mean you're dressing up or as it comes you are george what is wrong with you i'll tell you what's wrong a grown woman with a male roommate it's unnatural it's an abomination hey hey how you doing i'm good are you going to need the bathroom because i'm gonna jump in a shower no just throw my bras out of the way of course i support your decision to change your name after the giant game i i realized that this this problem isn't going away well listen i just want you to know that i was more than willing to stick it out with joel rifkin sure okay you got your list yeah yeah ten names right okay and if somebody objects you can just veto it okay okay you start what's your first choice stewart no second choice stewart's no good i have never met a normal guy named stuart oh okay my second choice is todd todd no veto hold on oh hey i think you're gonna like my third choice oh great alex i gotta tell you i have a bad association with the name alex association yeah in college i sat next to an alex in art history and he was always drinking coffee and after every sip he would go i mean every two seconds and he would take like 40 sips and after every one had to drop the class what is wrong with ned ned's a guy who buys irregular underwear next ellis ellis you might as well go with alex it's the same thing alice and alex aren't even close next oh what is the point no no come on okay okay remy [Laughter] remy rifkin should i get a beret [Music] oh stewart's a lot better little stuart ripken likes to go shopping with his mother i'm donna donna oh you're the one that likes that commercial he told you that no he didn't actually tell me that uh we were talking about that commercial in fact i think i brought it up because i like that commercial no he he would never actually tell me anything like that he never discusses anything he's he's like a clam you're not gonna mention this to him so you go around telling your friends i'm not hip because i like that commercial what what what did you say what nothing i didn't you told him how i liked the commercial well so what if i said that well so you didn't have to tell your friends no i had to tell my friends my friends didn't have to tell you why did you have to get me in trouble i don't like you talking about you with your friends behind my back boy oh boy i said i couldn't believe you liked that commercial so what i asked some friends of mine this week and all of them like the commercial wait bet you got a regular algonquin round table there hey oh uh kramer uh this is donna oh cotton dockers hello all right we should be going come on what where was the mom don't bother don't bother i'm leaving donna really you're making too much of this 100 cotton dockers if they're not dockers they're just pants please donna i don't want to hear it hello hello oh well you notice anything you have cleaned up the whole apartment and you're making dinner you're perfect you're a perfect man [Music] did anyone call you got a few messages i wrote them down where are they let's see they are here they are thank you oh yeah i'll call you back oh my god that's wonderful who called she did she did oh that's so great way to keep the corkscrew it's in the drawer on the right what no it's nothing yeah what is it it's nothing tell me well i was just curious why you didn't use an exclamation point what are you talking about we'll see right here you wrote myra had the baby but you didn't use an exclamation point so it's yeah it's nothing forget it forget it you know i just found it curious wait what's so curious about it well i mean if one of your close friends had a baby and i left you a message about it i would use an exclamation point well maybe i don't use my exclamation points as haphazardly as you do you don't think that someone having a baby warrants an exclamation point hey look i just jotted down the message i didn't know that i was required to capture the mood of each caller i just thought you'd be a little more excited about a friend of mine having a baby okay i'm excited i just don't happen to like exclamation points well you know jake you should learn to use them like the way i'm talking right now i would put exclamation points at the ends of all of these sentences on this one and on that one well you can put one on this one i'm leaving [Music] how come you eat your peas one at a time what's the hurry actually we kind of broke up well you know we were having dinner the other night and she's got the strangest habits she eats her peas one at a time you've never seen anything like it it takes her like an hour to finish them i mean we've had dinner other times i've seen her eat corn niblets but she scooped them she scooped the niblets yes that's what was so vexing i love shrimp i'm a shrimp eater you put shrimp in front of me and i'll eat it till my stomach pops no it's okay still just a little bit jumpy you and me what happened there with the stabbing just one of those things you know what was she just so crazy in love with you she just couldn't take it anymore i don't know could be alan was that the one who stabbed you no i was a different girl there was another crazed ex-girlfriend right so i called my friend you know the one who set us up i found out he's a bad breaker-upper bad how well you know when you break up how you say things you don't mean well he says the mean things you don't mean but he means him i follow so what are you gonna do dump him i can't be with someone who doesn't break up nicely i mean to me that's one of the most important parts of a relationship what's more important you

Channel: Seinfeld

Views: 817,368

Keywords: seinfeld, seinfeld theme, seinfeld bloopers, jerry seinfeld, seinfeld full episodes, jerry seinfeld stand up, seinfeld the contest, seinfeld stand up, best of seinfeld, larry david, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, Wayne Knight, Patrick Warburton, Heidi Swedberg, seinfeld best moments, seinfeld man hands, Seinfeld soup, Seinfeld the race, seinfeld newman, seinfeld shrinkage, Break Ups, Break Up, Best Of, Break Upper, Bad, The Andrea Doria, The Pie

Id: lMzTQhlabm8

Length: 11min 23sec (683 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 29 2022