Employee of the Month: Elaine Benes | Seinfeld

[Music] hi i'm lou feilerman i'm new here hey walter what is the deal with that guy he's lou feilerman he's new here hey your coffee stain looks like fidel castro you've been an enormous just a help bit people from matsushima here oh yeah all right uh oh tell them i'll be right there oh man well this is it you know without this merger we'd be out on the street boy they sure saved us oh look what we got forgot um we're going to the clock it is with great pride that we undertake this partnership with your company i i'm sorry i can't shake your head right now germs oh was a great lady those are going to be some tough shoes to do everyone loved her she had such grace yes grace not many people have grace well you know grace is a tough one i like to think i have a little grace not as much as jack a little grace you either have grace or you don't okay fine i have no grace and you can't acquire grace well i i have no intention of getting grace grace isn't something you can pick up at the market all right all right look i don't have grace i don't watch one praise i don't even say grace okay thank you for coming in yeah yeah right we'll make our choice in a few days and we'll let you know i have no chance do i no justin fit to see you justin pitt he was a very close friend of mrs onassis this is onassis that's hard to pronounce excuse me nothing she's there's something wrong with this copying machine it's all coming out slanted now i don't know if this is your department or not justin kitt this is elaine venice jumped i was a great admirer of mrs o'nasa's the resemblance is uncanny even the brown eyes well a lot of people have brown eyes no there's something else an indefinable quality grace grace yes you think i have grace some grace yes just some well you don't want too much grace or you won't be able to stand [Laughter] oh mr pitt elaine i want you to come and work for me as my personal assistant now i'll pay you the same as pendant but i would need you to start right away mr peterman i don't know what's going on here i am not addicted to anything oh elaine the tall road of denial is a long and dangerous one the price your soul [Music] all right who's dancing come on who's dancing you want me can we get it started [Applause] [Music] hey i'm telling you jerry i'm getting a vibe if i didn't know better i'd say that the staff completely lost respect for me how could that the be is palpable well as you can see the comforter i expensed is actually the aristotle goose down tunic what do you think another bullseye oh mr ipswich since every one of my expenses was obviously for a legitimate business purpose i just need to see the sable hat you purchased yesterday the hat why do you need to see the hat it costs eight thousand dollars what oh mr hatch you charged to the company was sable this is nutria well that's uh a as a kind of sable no it's a kind of rat that's a rat hat and the poorly made one even by rat hat standards i have no choice but to recommend you a prompt termination to the board of directors nothing short of the approval of peterman himself will save you this time but but he's in the burmese jungle and quite bad too from what i hear wait a minute wait a minute can i fire you no oh elaine this dry air is curing me like a black forest ham these designs look great peggy you really saved me that was no problem mr peterman is gonna love him thanks susie susie susie hi peggy um look i should have said this yesterday this memo from elaine bennis yeah see no it's amazing peterman hasn't fired that dolt she practically ran the company into the ground oh well i thought she did a pretty good job i heard she was a disaster zoos look it it's not sues all right it's susie my name is susie elaine what did you want to talk to me about this my office sam trashed my office well i see what's going on here i am smack dab in the middle of a good old-fashioned cat fight mr peter this is not a cat fight this is violent psychotic behavior directed at me all because i told her to swing her arms woof do you mean rear yes that's the one good day elaine oh no please mr peterman she's crazy [Music] mr peterman here are these pages one moment i'm reading the most fascinating article on the most fascinating people of the year and none oh yes i'm sorry i needed this so quickly it must have been an awful lot of work thank you very much you too what here's the new copy you wanted oh yes well this certainly looks like a lot of words in record time i'm very impressed with both of you thank you unfortunately i am also disgusted this is incoherent dribble this is a total redo and i'm assuming i need it right away well i guess we'll just have oh just give me that we've got to talk what is it about me that you find so offensive you seem to be with a lot of men what i happen to have a very steady boyfriend you know i mean we broke up a few times and there has been an occasional guy here or there but why is this your business it's not good day oh all right you think i've got germs i'll give you some germs how about some for your keyboard huh how about for your stapler that's good isn't it you have a happy and a healthy [Laughter] this pen smells really bad so why do i keep smelling it is it too late for me to go to law school what is this you were out sick yesterday so we got you a get well cake it's carrot it's good for you dead well that's not even a song i mean now we're celebrating a sick day i think it's nice what what is nice trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla i mean we are all unhappy do we have to be fat too not you becky i know you have a slow metabolism i don't want one more piece of cake in my office get well get well sick it's not happening can we still eat it [Music] anybody here peter boy it's a cakewalk yeah well yeah soon we wish you two get well oh what a stirring little anthem of wellness elaine mr peterman now we missed you at the get well party poor old walt has a polyp in the duodenum it's benign but who's still a bastard oh elaine can you keep a secret no sir i can't inside that small college boy mini fridge is my latest acquisition a slice of cake from the wedding of king edward viii to wallace simpson circle 1937 the price 29 000. [Laughter] elaine excellent i'd like you to meet a friend of mine irwin lubeck oh hello charmed all right brace yourself lubeck you are about to be launched via pastry back to the wedding of one of the most dashing and romantic nazi sympathizers of the entire british royal family i guess i'll just oh no elaine stay who back here is the world's foremost appraiser of vintage place train all right luvek how much is she worth i'd say about 219. 219 000. lubeck you glorious tit weller you just made me a profit of a hundred and ninety thousand dollars no two dollars and nineteen cents it's an intimates do they have a castle at windsor now they have a display case at the end of the aisle you're all right peter when you look ill get well get well soon we want you to get well get it well get well soon we want you to get well [Music] you

Channel: Seinfeld

Views: 417,003

Keywords: seinfeld, seinfeld theme, seinfeld bloopers, jerry seinfeld, seinfeld full episodes, jerry seinfeld stand up, seinfeld the contest, seinfeld stand up, best of seinfeld, larry david, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, Wayne Knight, Patrick Warburton, Heidi Swedberg, seinfeld best moments, seinfeld man hands, Seinfeld soup, Seinfeld the race, seinfeld newman, seinfeld shrinkage, Elaine Benes, Mr Peterman, Mr Pitt, Mr Lippman, John O'Hurley

Id: 651bPY3cYBo

Length: 14min 4sec (844 seconds)

Published: Mon May 23 2022