A Coffee Blend About Nothing | Get the Seinfeld x Bean Box Coffee Collection!

so uh thanks for dinner it was great we should do this again would you like to come upstairs for some coffee oh no thanks i can't drink coffee late at night it keeps me up [Laughter] so um okay okay good night yeah take it easy hi you're still thinking about this she invites me up at 12 o'clock at night for coffee and i don't go out no thank you i don't want coffee it keeps me up too late for me to drink coffee i said this to her people this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live i can't imagine what she must think of me she thinks you're a guy that doesn't like coffee she invited me up coffee's not coffee coffee is sex maybe coffee was coughing coffee's coffee in the morning it's not coffee at 12 o'clock at night well some people drink coffee that late yeah people who work at norad who are on 24-hour missile watch everything was going along so great she was laughing i was funny i kept saying to myself keep it up don't blow it you're doing great it's all in your head all she knows is she had a good time i think you should call her i can't call in no it's too soon i'm planning a wednesday call ah why i love it when guys call me the next day of course you do but you're imagining a guy you like not a guy who was oh no i don't drink coffee late at night if i call her now she's going to think i'm too needy women don't want to see need they want to take charge guy a colonel a kaiser a czar all she'll think is that you like her that's exactly what i'm trying to avoid she wants you to like her yes she wants me to like her if she likes me but she doesn't like me i don't know what your parents did to you hi it's carol i'll get back to you um hi it's uh george george costanza remember me the guy didn't come up for coffee you see i i didn't realize that coffee didn't really mean [Music] well whatever anyway it was fun it was um it was fun so um so you call me back you know if you want that's up to you you know whatever you want to do either way the ball's in your court so uh take it easy you better finish a little cafe latte there they'll never let you in with it why not because they don't allow outside drinks into the movie no that's stupid that's the rule well we'll just see if we can't get around that excuse me excuse us hey hey what's going on what just happened here nothing nothing what do you got one of those cafe lattes in your shirt about anything what ask him all right come on coffee boy bring it out come on snap it right here here we go hey hey sorry about that uh movie thing i was joking around sorry are you kidding you did me the biggest favor of my life i spoke to a lawyer we're suing for millions suing what form the coffee was too hot it's supposed to be hot not that hot so you know my friend and i we were going to the movies and we stopped off and bought this cafe latte what is that like italian coffee yeah that's right half milk have coffee yeah mm-hmm you taking soup yes i did now when you took a sip did you notice it was hot we were able to sip it in your normal fashion you know i wasn't able to sip it in my normal fish mm-hmm all right all right you take big sips well i think i take a normal set okay you take normal sips nothing wrong with that then what happened well you know uh they don't allow outside drinks in the movie theater so i had to put it in my shirt and sneak it in yeah see they like to sell their own coffee yeah now is that going to be a problem yeah it's going to be a problem it's going to be a problem for them this is a clear violation of your rights as a consumer it's an infringement on your constitutional rights it's outrageous egregious preposters it's definitely preposterous so then what happened well uh i was trying to get to my seat and i had to step over someone and i kind of got pushed and it spilt on me was there a top on it yeah did you put the top on or did they put the top on for you they put the top on and they made the top you didn't make the top did you susan i want you to go down to java world get me a cafe latte with a top we're going to run some tests on that top have you been to the doctor uh no no i haven't susie call dr bison set up an appointment for mr kramer here tell him it's for me so uh what do you think mr charles jackie jackie i mean we got a chance do we have a chance you get me one coffee drinker on that jury you want to walk out of there a rich man hey hey hey what are you all dressed up for oh i uh just came from a meeting with my lawyer oh yeah how's that looking oh i'll tell you how it's looking my lawyer jackie says if there's one coffee drinker on that jury i'm gonna be a rich man that's despicable how does he know how all coffee drinkers will vote i'm a coffee drinker if i was on that jury i wouldn't give you a nickel cramer well you wouldn't be on that jury he would have weeded you out frankly i'm surprised you're so litigious oh i can be quite litigious well i mean who ever heard of this anyway suing a company because their coffee is too hot coffee is supposed to be hot yeah but jackie says the top was faulty jackie says the top listen to this jackie just called oh his lawyer yeah java world wants to settle what yeah i'm gonna be rich why are they settling because they're afraid of bad publicity all this because you spilled coffee on yourself yeah that's right i'm going to need a coffee here very hot boil jared cherry and jerry i'm not sure we might burn it's gone look what do you mean well i put that chinese bomb on it the maestro gave me look it healed it so so my lawsuit i'm finished i thought they wanted to settle well what happens if they want to see it then you're in a lot of trouble you put the bomb on who told you to put the bomb on i didn't tell you to put the bomb on why'd you put the bomb on you haven't even been to see the doctor if you're gonna put a bomb on let a doctor put a bomb on i guess i screwed up hi jackie you're damn right you screwed up where the hell did you get that damn bomb anyway the maestro the who what are you talking about maestro my friend he's a conductor oh so a maestro tells you to put a bomb on and you do it well my stomach was burning i'll tell you what this is this is a public humiliation well i didn't know the bomb was gonna work do you know what a bomb is you ever seen a bomb didn't you read the instructions no one can tell what a bomb's gonna do they're unpredictable i'm sorry jackie pull over here driver this is it yeah they say we are from fifty thousand dollars that's it take it or leave it how do we know how severe the burns are why don't we have them examined by a doctor listen the faster we dispose of this the better this thing gets into the paper it'll kill us all right we'll start with 50 000 and free coffee in all of our stores yes mr childs and mr kramer are here send them in gentlemen gentlemen now we don't want to take up much of your time let's make this short and sweet we're prepared to offer you all the free coffee you want at any of our stores throughout north america and you're a plus i'll take it [Music] i'll take it i'll take it who told you to take it did i tell you to take it no i know the maestro didn't tell you to take it he wasn't there well i thought we were lucky to get anything free coffee yeah i don't want free coffee it's not hard to get coffee i can get my own damn coffee i want to know what came after that plus i didn't hear any plus 20 years practicing law i've never experienced anything like this look java world hey listen i'm going to get out here get myself a free cafe latte [Music] okay bye hey buddy it's all happening what's happening the coffee table book it's a go oh yeah i heard all about it you know what this means i'm starting the book tour first stop regis and kathy lee you're going on regis and kathy lane oh you better believe it i'll loan you my puffy shirt no no what are you going to talk about coffee tables can i bring out our next guest now please young guys got a new book coming out and it's about and this is the best part it's a coffee table book about coffee tables yeah is that i clever so too did you get to meet him backstage i mean he looks like a fun guy doesn't he i love his hair oh i do too this guy could be a little broncos really anyway if you will would you please welcome cramer oh i don't know it's the hair or something i don't know yes so a coffee table book about coffee table yeah where'd you come up with this idea uh well i'll tell you uh regis uh actually this is a true story i um i was skiing at the time you know when i'm skiing prima i'm trying not to kill myself you're writing books yeah well now you kids don't go out and try that you stay in school have you always had an interest in coffee tables because really i i love coffee tables and i thought i was the only one see the beauty of my book is if you don't have a coffee table it turns into a coffee table did i tell you this guy was bonkos this coffee table is full of pictures of celebrities coffee table that's true that's right yeah well i'm not in there where's mine oh it's on file right here i'm telling you this guy's bunker he really is yeah but he's literally yeah he is he's a nice looking guy [Applause] we'll be right back in a moment [Music] you

Channel: Seinfeld

Views: 224,082

Keywords: seinfeld, seinfeld theme, seinfeld bloopers, jerry seinfeld, seinfeld full episodes, jerry seinfeld stand up, seinfeld the contest, seinfeld stand up, best of seinfeld, larry david, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, Wayne Knight, Patrick Warburton, Heidi Swedberg, seinfeld best moments, seinfeld man hands, Seinfeld soup, Seinfeld the race, seinfeld newman, seinfeld shrinkage, Coffee, The Maestro, The Postponement, The Phone Message, Gretchen German

Id: 12czxueRaTM

Length: 13min 16sec (796 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 13 2022