Costanza & Son | Seinfeld

a brazier for a man the man's ear get it well you scared her off we may never see mom again hey george what do you like better the bro or the manzier [Laughter] dad we need to talk jerry took the couch back he took it back didn't you tell him i was using it oh i pleaded with him where am i supposed to sleep well i i took the liberty of packing your things mom's coming to get you i thought jerry didn't want that couch because of the stain what stain oh you didn't notice it has a pea stain you had me sleeping on a pea stained couch no no no the cushion was turned on with the very idea you had me lying in urine yeah there's mom there's mom is it safe to come in oh of course of course you're not having any your transvestite party will you stop it i lived with him for 40 years i never saw him trying on my underwear as soon as he leaves the house he turns into j edgar hoover [Laughter] you can have the high fire i don't need it now all right i got one at home all right let's go we'll go out for dinner tonight i can't tonight i'm busy what do you mean busy i'm having dinner with someone we're home sid farkas sid flockus you're not having dinner with a bra salesman hey he only sells them he doesn't wear them okay that's it i'm not coming home but you can't stay here there's no place to sleep we'll work something out [Music] what do you need all that ketchup for this is my ketchup i bought this ketchup just so i could have as much as i would so i i talked to phil kasikov today phil kasikov yeah you know my friend the bra salesman he says they're looking to maybe put somebody on so i got you an interview next friday with his boss next friday what time two o'clock that's my whole afternoon i was gonna look for sneakers you can look for sneakers the next day [Music] he doesn't know anything about broads i know a little besides what do you have to know well it wouldn't hurt to go in and be able to discuss it intelligently maybe you should take a look at a few bras where's your bra give him a bra to look at i'm not giving him a bra why not because i don't need him looking at my bra fine so he'll go into the interview he wouldn't know what he's talking about we have to you don't even know what they're made from they're made from lycra spandex get out of here lycra spandex i think they are made from lycra spam you want a bed how much you want to i'm not batting take a look i'm right i'll get a bra i don't know what the big problem is getting a bra she doesn't want to get a bra i'm not saying go to the library and read the whole history but it wouldn't kill you to know a little bit about it all right it wouldn't kill me how long does it take to find a bra what's going on in there you ask me to get a pair of underwear i'm back in two seconds you know about the cup sizes and all they have different cuffs yeah i i know about the cuff you got the a b the c the d that's the biggest i know the d is the biggest i based my whole life by knowing that the d is the biggest here here's the bra how do you see it 100 lycra spandex let me see i told you air i think you know everything that's surprising all right what else you got the cups in the front two loops in the back all right i guess that's about it i got it cups in the front loops in the back you got ketchup on it [Music] why it's cold outside huh oh these new york went this bitter cold better i was out for five minutes before i couldn't feel my extremities what extremities you know what the uh temperature in florida is today huh 79. that's almost 80. yeah i read someplace the life expectancy in florida is 81. and in queens 73. so george why are you here but i can't stop by and visit my uh my parents what's this that's where the uh seinfelds are moving they uh they got a great deal yeah you know what they got in florida higher lie you bet on the games you clean up i don't bet what about the dolphins you can swim with the dolphins down there i don't swim you could pet them they come right out of the water onto the sidewalks are you trying to get rid of us rid the word is care care right i care about your comfort being here in queens are 1200 miles away we have some big news for you big news we're moving to florida what you're moving to florida that's wonderful i'm so happy for you i'm so happy for you oh what do you need this cold weather for has nothing to do with weather it's because of the seinfelds yeah what do you mean they don't want us there so we're going we're moving right into del bocca vista so you're moving there for spite absolutely no one tells frank costanza [Music] so georgie are you gonna come to visit us oh every chance i get maybe you should take a civil service test i'm not taking a civil service test look at this george you ever seen the silver dollar yes i've seen a silver dot why don't you want to take a civil service test to do what work in the post office is that what you want me to do would you believe when i was 18 i had a silver dollar collection i don't understand you get job security you get a paycheck every week i'm a college graduate you want me to be a mailman you know i couldn't bring myself to spend one of these i got some kind of a phobia so what are you gonna do i don't know i do know that i have some kind of a talent something to offer i just don't know what it is yet i bet that collection would be worth a lot of money today oh my god i don't like this waiter look at him he sees us doesn't want to come over i need some air george where you going i got a lot of thinking to do so what do you think your old man could look pretty good when he wants to huh i don't like that tie what's the matter with this tie i've hardly worn it it's too thin they're wearing wide now how do you know what kind of ties they wear go to any office building on seventh avenue and tell me if there's anyone there wearing a thin tie like that go ahead oh get the hell out of here seventh avenue george do you think he should wear a tie like that huh i think he should wear whatever tie he wants we got to stop off and pick up a marble ride from schnitzer's it's out of our way why can't we pick up something at lourdes it's right over here oh we have to go to schnitzer's i'll show these people something about taste this is gonna be fun hello hey it's georgie let me put your father on the phone ma who's this dad it's me hey uh listen i was at uh fortune office the other day and you know what you were right chinese food sorry george our chinese food just came talk to you later chinese food oh georgie what are you doing here just dropped in for a visit you uh you never called me back oh the phone broke well you got to get moving what where are you going we have a catered affair you going like that it's creative black tie move woman no chinese leftovers you're just getting suspicious welcome back pretty quick for a uh catered affair i don't know what you mean you ditched me that's twice now i demand to know what's going on george we've had it with you i understand we love you like a son but even parents have limits the breakups the firings and every sunday with the calls what my wife is trying to say is this is supposed to be our time i'm not following i'm sorry george we're cutting you loose you're cutting me loose now if you'll excuse me i'm gonna make love to your mother oh the house looks very nice where's the mail hello jerry hello so how was the trip uh your father is there anything wrong with getting a receipt and a tollbooth i'm going upstairs this stack should be bigger where's the tv guide what tv got i'm missing tv guide volume 41 number 31. uh elaine took it to read on the subway elaine took it i didn't know she took it well it's two weeks old how could you let her take the tv guy he collects them you collect tv guide the nerve of that woman walking into my house stealing my collectible oh my god this was in our bed what is this a prophylactic what rubber this doing on my bed i don't know i'll see you later [Applause] you were having sex on our bed yes who told you you could have sex in our bed well my bed is too small your bed is too small i'm gone two weeks and you turn our house into into bourbon street where am i going to sleep what are you talking about i can't sleep in there of course you can i can't i can't that's it you're grounded you can't ground me i'm a grown man you want to live here you respect the rules of our house you're grounded [Music] you

Channel: Seinfeld

Views: 2,261,555

Keywords: seinfeld, seinfeld theme, seinfeld bloopers, jerry seinfeld, seinfeld full episodes, jerry seinfeld stand up, seinfeld the contest, seinfeld stand up, best of seinfeld, larry david, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, Wayne Knight, Patrick Warburton, Heidi Swedberg, seinfeld best moments, seinfeld man hands, Seinfeld soup, Seinfeld the race, seinfeld newman, seinfeld shrinkage, Jerry Stiller, Frank Costanza, Father's Day, Father, Dad, Estelle Harris

Id: Bw9zZvgyQXY

Length: 13min 29sec (809 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 18 2022