Planes, Trains & Automobiles | Seinfeld

well george's got to be happy about this yeah yeah oh my god kramer is that woman just wearing a bra mama and i would have gone to more but i just got a puppy oh i will travel without her is he on the plane now oh yeah yes he's in the he's in the baggage compartment i don't know why they won't let him sit up here with me he's a lot better behaved than most of the dregs you find on board here you you have any pants uh just my next door neighbor but you are missing out on a relationship that could enrich your life in ways that you you never even thought possible how about uh picking up their you know you find that enriching what's the matter oh i'm feeling a bit queasy we're going to make an emergency landing in chicago and get you to a hospital my dog what about my dog uh you have a dog do you know when he went on the plane mr pallone jerry huh how you feeling would you could you take care of farfall farfel what's his dog we're landing in chicago to get him to a hospital could you take his dog to new york the dog the dog i'm sure it's not even a day or two but you know what if you know give me your address and phone number i'll call you the dog [Applause] [Applause] [Laughter] this is incredible this is one of the greatest things i've ever done in my life i'm going to call my mom before hello ma it's me guess where i am in the back of a limo now nobody died it's a long story i can't tell you now because i can't i said i can't if i could i would would you stop it all right look i'm getting off no i'm not telling you how's this i'm never telling you i don't care no fine never [Laughter] is she happy for you can he hear us why i thought i saw him look in the mirror suspiciously he can't hear us let's test him hey driver what do you say we uh stop off pick up your sister have a little fun back here no third row right oh you're in here sir welcome aboard bambooyah excuse me uh excusing this i think they're sitting in my seat yeah 13c that's me sorry [Applause] ah i never checked my bags can't stand that weight baggage area yeah great help me excuse me i think you're in my seat oh really my mistake i'm a mistake like a history of coffee tables celebrities and their coffee tables it's a natural this is a story that must be taught is he gonna talk to your boss about it huh first thing in the morning yes indeed next this stuff is famous for its gyros you want one how are you gonna get something and get back on the train in time well they gotta stand right out on the platform gyros are cooked and wrapped and ready to go three dollars no change you want one nothing but no bites highlighter excuse me to highlight the programs you plan to watch uh look really i'm i'm just trying to read fine okay it's just i've never seen a beautiful lady reading the guide so far away from the tv you must really like television [Music] guess your boyfriend will have to catch your next train he's not my boyfriend he's not interesting [Music] you know i spilled a yogurt smoothie in here two days ago can't smell anything can you banana right george watch out for those pigeons oh don't get out of the way you really smell banana oh my god so where are we eating boy that that bank clock is eight minutes off and why don't you just run it over too zing george what are you doing did you see that the pigeon didn't move i had to swerve to get out of the way i saved that pigeon's life what pigeon you drove right into that squirrel squirrel oh we have no deal with them can i take that box for you uh well you better not i'm supposed to be careful with it then i'll have to put your bag in the overhead oh okay oh look at this what i bought a bottle of barbecue sauce in memphis i think the steward is broken when she tried to jam it into the overhead compartment because of this stupid thing don't press the panic button i'm sure that we can still salvage some sauce i don't care about the sauce it came in this funny little bottle and there was a guy on the label looked exactly like charles grodin i see no you don't see because i'm going on the show this week and this was gonna be my bit on the show well why don't you do your material i'm out boy you better get to work thanks for the tip [Applause] look at this look at this will you look at this he doesn't have enough with the mercedes he has to have two spaces i tell you what i'd like to do i'd like to spit on it i would like to see that should i should i do it teach him a lesson he'll never forget what does he think he is someone's going to stop him it's against the law isn't it what certainly should be okay this is some machine leave it to the germans let me ask you something how do they get for a tune-up on this hello is that you george yeah it's me is this clayton well listen you son of a you know where we are 30 000 feet above your hand you bastard what are they doing letting you bastards on an airplane don't they know that's against the faa record like huh hush up now i can't hear him listen i want you guys to send along those agreements the minute you land our boys can't wait to kick your butts where's that bastard coming to houston hey zeke wants to win your yankee basket you're coming to use it you tell that son of a no yankee is ever coming to houston not as long as you bastards are running things now speak up george i can't hear you you tell that son of a no yankee is ever coming to houston not as long as you bastards and running things what's the matter with you [Music] what do you smell something do i smell something one of my heart is smelling of course i smell something what is it i think it's b.o what it's b.o the valet must have had b.o it can't be nobody has b.o like this jerry it's b-o but the whole car smells so so when somebody has b o the o usually stays with the b once the b leaves the o goes with it oh flight 433 now boarding for miami gate 18a flight 433 now boarding okay let's go it was so nice of you to come to the airport to see us off are you sure you can't stay a little longer no no goodbye all right bye-bye thank you okay jesse yeah bye-bye bye-bye we'll call you when we get home thank you i think she meant me but i make sure kramer uses good tape when he sends back the raincoat okay hi bye erin erin are you okay i could have done more i could have done so much more you did enough no i could have called the travel agency got them on another flight to paris i could have got them out you're trying aaron it's too expensive this watch this watch could have paid for their whole trip this ring this ring is one more dinner i could have taken them out to water they need some water why don't get dehydrated on the plane get designed but some water please are you um sure you know where the impound yard is oh stop stalling come on i can't thank you there's all this noise or is it because i've built a stronghold around greenland i've driven you out of western europe and i've left you teetering on the brink of complete annihilation i'm not beaten yet i still have armies in the ukraine the ukraine you know what the ukraine is it's a sitting duck a road apple newman the ukraine is weak it's feeble i think it's time to put the hurt on the ukraine i come from ukraine you're not say ukraine wick yeah well we're playing a game here pal ukraine has came to you but i take your little boras look at this there's no spaces here excuse me you're getting out yeah why don't you take the handicap spot you think no no we'll find a space there's spaces in the other lot well i don't want to walk that far what if a handicapped person needs it oh come on they don't drive yes they do have you ever seen a handicapped person pull into a space and park well the space is there they must drive they don't if they could drive they wouldn't be handicapped so if you can drive you're not handicapped we're not going to be that long anyway we got to get to the party i got news for you handicapped people they don't even want to park there they want to be treated just like everybody else that's why those spaces are always empty he's right it's the same thing with the feminists you know they want everything to be equal everything but when the check comes where are they what does that mean yeah all right i'm pulling it out go ahead george oh come on it's five minutes and make sure that we don't forget where the car is parked [Applause] [Music] uh jerry yeah i'm captain maddox this is my co-pilot curt adams ready to go to paris we're all set we'll just grab the bag uh don't worry about that we'll take care of him for you just keeps on getting better and better huh not bad wow the only way to fly this is it i'm sorry i have to say i'm a little disappointed i thought it would be a lot nicer you're complaining about a private jet you think this is the plane that ted danson gets ted danson is not even on the network anymore still i bet when they gave him a plane it was a lot nicer than this will you shut up you are ruining the whole trip this is a real piece of junk i don't even feel safe on this thing i have a good mind to write a letter to mr kim not writing will any turn around why you are annoying me sitting like that it's effeminate it's effeminate to sit like this yes i think it's a little effeminate how is this effeminate i don't know it just is crazy what are you doing you still got water in your ear can't get rid of it maybe it leaked inside my brain would you stop that it's not safe to be jumping up and down on a plane i gotta get it out i can't take this anymore don't be fooled around up here hey get the hell out of here where do you stand i thought it stopped when that happened oh my god we're going down back we're gonna die just when i was doing christ i felt it god won't let me be successful [Music] can you hear me yeah there's something i have to tell you what what is it i cheated in the contest what the contest i cheated why because i'm a cheater i had to tell you great i won i gotta tell you something too ellie i've got something i want to say to you no no hold on jerry [Music] hey what's going on we're straightening out [Music] you

Channel: Seinfeld

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Keywords: seinfeld, seinfeld theme, seinfeld bloopers, jerry seinfeld, seinfeld full episodes, jerry seinfeld stand up, seinfeld the contest, seinfeld stand up, best of seinfeld, larry david, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, Wayne Knight, Patrick Warburton, Heidi Swedberg, seinfeld best moments, seinfeld man hands, Seinfeld soup, Seinfeld the race, seinfeld newman, seinfeld shrinkage, planes, Trains, Automobiles, Subway, The Subway, The Finale, Crash, Cars, Transport

Id: 5vf8RQvcm2g

Length: 17min 40sec (1060 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 27 2022