New Year's Resolutions | Seinfeld

what is this a veggie sandwich and a grapefruit a veggie sandwich in a grape what are you turning into a healthy person ow ow you sweated me oh sorry hey boys hey how you doing good okay well it's all set i start tomorrow i just thought what i signed up to do volunteer work with senior citizens really yeah god i can't tell you how i feel i mean i feel so good i really feel good the strange thing is i mean i haven't even met the woman yet volunteer work huh what are you gonna do down there well they say all it is is you go over to their apartment and i don't know you take them out for a walk you get a cup of coffee and it's supposed to make them feel good that's what i do with them hey working out you know it and i ditched all my junk food what the heck is going on here sorry buddy clean house it's all health food well i may have to take it but i don't have to like it i see you there when i'm done i know what you're up to ramon because i'm a member here this is my place to swim and you better cut it out my mom no i think he's gonna need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation out the mouth yeah huh well go ahead you knocked him out yeah but you pulled him in do it he might die yeah maybe hey wanna get some lunch just had a big bowl of cakes oh well that's very mature what about you oh please come elaine no no maybe you could bring me back something sure all right what do you want um i don't know a big salad what a big salad i'm going to the coffee shop but i have big salads i've never seen a big salad is that what i asked for the big sound no no no hey i'll get it what's in the big big lettuce big carrots tomatoes like volleyball all right so you can be upstairs all right we'll see you in a little while okay i can't believe elaine's never taken you here before well i'm really not much of a meat eater you don't eat meat what are you one of those well no i'm not one of those when we were little girls grandma mama would take us to a matinee and then dinner here grandma remember elaine must have mentioned grandma mama no i think i would have remembered mima oh well that's typical elaine never liked grandma mama ready all of the porterhouse medium rare baked potato with sour cream what do you recommend besides the steak the lamb chops are good anything lighter how do you prepare the chicken it's a full bird stuffed with ham topped with gorgonzola you know what i think i'll just have a salad thank you just a salad just a salad okay mr mantlebaum what do you want me to do drop your purse honey and picked up that medicine ball is this a gym or some kind of fitness museum not funny go ahead with it are you ready for what all aboard the pain drain how many sessions did my parents pay for not enough to make a man of you daffodil so have you talked to holly uh-huh did she mention anything about our lunch um kind of what do you mean kind of i mean she thought it was kind of strange to just order a salad you know for a man i like a cage thing you're in the ball park oh salad what was i thinking women don't respect salad eaters you got that right but you're going over there for dinner tonight right mm-hmm what is she making i don't know when i'm sure it had parents she won't mind if you come oh don't worry i'll be there and i'll be packing an artery tonight i want you to sleep on this toughens your vertebrae a what and holy hell sausages you just your diet no they're not mine mister man no ally to me but i've been i've taken it up a notch you know i really like those new jeans jerry was wearing he's really thin not as thin as you think why he's a 31. i saw the tag on the back the tag huh let me tell you something about that tag it's no 31 and uh let's just limited that what are you talking about he scratches off a 32 and he puts in 31. oh how could he be so vain well this is the jerry seinfeld that only i know is this really necessary if you want to live in a butcher shop i'm going to treat you like a piece of meat what if i can't keep up you lay you fire it up son right then mental bomb mantle bomb man move it move it move it get those knees up come on kick it kick it what's going on there's something wrong with your car it's dripping something on my feet some kind of red liquid oh my god the blood get up boy get out we got a problem here [Music] what about this candelabra yeah that was grandma mama's also she bought it on her trip to europe in 1926. jerry i'm thrilled you liked my mutton i was afraid you only ate salad all right salad's got nothin on this mutton that is so funny did you just make that up i wish i could take credit for it it's actually a line my butcher uses when we're chewing the fat how about that beautiful uh jessica over there oh yeah that was in uh mama's study i want that desk what'd you do did you ransack the place after she died this is some fine mutton i'm getting out of here can i borrow your jacket um well uh the thing is it's cold out okay i didn't bring my own okay jerry cherry god forbid i should borrow one from holly might have belonged to grandma mima thanks for mutton [Music] i'm a nice person don't believe what you hear i really do who are the napkins what grandma vemma's napkins two are missing elaine took them didn't she i don't know about that have you got any flaws you heard her she committed them i bet she took them just to spite me she's probably having a good laugh about it right now i'm talking [Music] you

Channel: Seinfeld

Views: 688,048

Keywords: seinfeld, seinfeld theme, seinfeld bloopers, jerry seinfeld, seinfeld full episodes, jerry seinfeld stand up, seinfeld the contest, seinfeld stand up, best of seinfeld, larry david, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, Wayne Knight, Patrick Warburton, Heidi Swedberg, seinfeld best moments, seinfeld man hands, Seinfeld soup, Seinfeld the race, seinfeld newman, seinfeld shrinkage, New Years, New Years Resolutions, Compilation, Comp, The Blood, The Wink

Id: ZCRgZObNRfY

Length: 8min 58sec (538 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 15 2022