WHY IS NOBODY TALKING IN "AFTER"

hello troublemakers and welcome into movie commentary Monday I'm a little sick is it a coincidence because I got sick on Tuesday the exact same day that actor came out on DVD is it coincidence or is it my body preemptively preparing myself for how my mind is gonna feel watching this movie I don't know we'll never know the tests are inconclusive I had actually shot an intro for this video several weeks ago when I thought the movie was out already and then as I was doing the intro I found out that the movie wasn't even out and then I was severely disappointed I was disappointed that I couldn't watch a fanfic movie that I knew I was gonna hate that is my life let me just play that intro for you guys am I really about to watch another fanfic movie apparently Anna Todd posted these chapters to Wattpad her original story was based on Harry Styles and Zayn Malik from one direction and I'll be honest when I assume One Direction fanfic I assume the One Direction members are hooking up but no I think this is like a cooking up with members of one direction so as a girl named Tessa flashbacks to my episode series episode is just one giant fanfic just animated why am i stuck in this fanfic mode let's just do it oh it's not oh it's not even out just some part all right after let's see what you got do I have to buy this don't tell me don't tell me I literally can't rent this I have to buy it kidding me alright Cheers here's to you after watch this movie actually be good oh hey rollers there's a guy in a row team he's a rower Wow okay it hasn't even started yet it's just a Studios logo thing I'll post-apocalyptic odds a post-apocalyptic movie mmm gotcha after the world ends that title makes sense oh no I just the studio again I'm teasing I knew that one oh the movies about leaves okay okay that's enough it's about diamonds okay we're done that joke is dead how many [ __ ] companies produce this movie can you tell me cuz it that was like eight oh hello shoulders we keep coming back to what are you talking about [ __ ] god I'm not ready to naher out this is bad oh you got a tattoo he's a bad boy huh after I really hope you can act cuz the voice-over didn't do you any favors howling the script is gonna help either you better be a monumentally good actor to pull this roll off and it may be like you oh my god you're pregnant who got you pregnant Louie okay what are we forgetting don't tell me that's her mom she's like 21 okay no she just looks really good for age hey mom you single all right I haven't really cringed yet or what three minutes 48 seconds in that's a big dorm room they look like the two [ __ ] college students they're the high school girls are like I can't wait to get to college and just up my Sluttery to a thousand we can get you into all the best places even without a fake yeah her mom's right there okay her mom's emotionally like oh yeah homie stays around some girls I like your sweater oh yeah I got it from the gap from the gap speaking of the gap let's talk about the gap between your legs hmm my mom no the kink and the mom stay can the mom stay she'll be a dorm mom let's turn this into a comedy mom's ends up hooking up with all the guys that the daughter wants are they gonna make out oh they're dating I was actually talking about the ride home with your mom with your mom I thought that was her brother what if they are siblings better siblings who kiss this isn't Washington state it's Alabama State University oh you mean Owen no he's my boyfriend he's a senior in high school oh you're a cougar huh well she has a boyfriend in high school and then she has Zane and Harry she got a whole eyes harem damn are you sure that she's like super reserved look at her long-ass skirt ain't no boy slidin between this skirt it's too long I guarantee you she's gonna be wearing some skimpy shorts later on don't look at her ass she got a TI long skirt on I'm Landon by the way Landon you gonna be Landin between her thighs if you keep this flirting up I'm Professor Alexander u.s. sultry voice Alex I was gonna be a boy hiding in the room oh no he's not even hiding you please go out into the hall so I can get dressed I'm not looking okay just not seeing it so it's just long it's just taking them forever to speak this scene has had like four lines of dialogue and it's been like three minutes long say something come on come on to spoil a artists it was a next line Jesus bro you speak so slow stop giving him sultry looks stop you guys didn't connect at all yesterday stop looking at each other like you want each other I don't think it's time to get my medicine you know I feel a little sick but I have the perfect fewer Sour Patch Kids what do you want [ __ ] party [ __ ] it up all of that girl you said be myself yeah but [ __ ] me yourself but more [ __ ] this movie oh one more come on come on come on hey one more with one more you do one more drink one more one more this guy's such a douchebag don't drink nah you creeper just have a [ __ ] no take that long guys skirt off while you're at it do mcculloch to this guy he hasn't said a single thing he's gotten four okay now he's using his mouth I guess for something truth or dare no no truth craziest place he pad sex she's a virgin this is not obvious have you seen her long skirt wait I know she's 18 she's fresh into college that's not shocking I'll do dare dare have sex and dare you to make out with heart was hardened he bought to be getting hardened when they kiss I don't know who was hardened is he I thought he was Chico or something you want to do this no you got a boyfriend oh boy am I gonna see this bit I'm done playing this game Hardin she was just playing hard to get where are you right now really loud um no library you're at a party shut the [ __ ] up jealous boyfriend God why do you have to be a cliche boyfriend yeah hang up on his [ __ ] ass how she gonna go back and kiss him don't tell me okay no she's just looking for a place to chill all books god damn every writer always has their characters interested in literature in reality like 15 percent of people are like really into books but every main character of a book is so into books because the person writing it is so into books it's so annoying man not every main character has to love to read you're doing what is it I have a [ __ ] book in my hands what do you think you idiot he's going on he's more myself than I am you're so pretentious that is gotta be a turn-off pardon more likes often I got a stop what are you doing in my room Tessa you were in my room yesterday so just kidding even boom there's a line there's a line of dialogue but he's dialogue when you could just add in simmering sexual attention for no reason it's not like they'd have to bond through words because I think you owe me that's not sexy bro that's not sexy don't fall for that don't fall for that you I'll be a dead and they're not gonna kiss mr. Beck mister recht mister miss miss miss miss me with the direct miss called it God I'm disappointed in you big dog big [ __ ] you your mom said you're such a high school [ __ ] I hate all the characters so far the only thing that could get me through is sour patch kids short skirt already she's never a reason to start it up yet that short I screwed all right folks let's get started why are all the professors super sexy I went to the wrong College [ __ ] love is just a transaction someone's about to change your mind huh ha ha he was pursuing her he's Canadian oh oh oh no I'm out that was exciting yeah did you get hardened I'm so done Elizabeth Bennet needs to chill like who even who even says that hearted apparently we're we're practically related oh yeah you look like brothers he's just trying to get a reaction well he's not gonna get one for me but I don't know quite how to put it but this just feels exactly like a fanfic it's just awkward dialogue and scenes that the audience would want to see oh look the lesbian this making out about to have sex God could you get any more basic why is he everywhere I can't stay away from you Dipsy smile ever ah there it is I think that it's better if we keep her distance that was a terrible joke god you're such a little boy don't look back don't look back don't look back oh my god I want to punch you I mean I wouldn't cuz you're a girl but oh no no not only did you look back he turned back you know you're in his car wow he's really gonna kill you is this Twilight fanfic as well as seeing the sparkle in the sunlight am i gonna reference Twilight in every single video for now on I just might how about a swim oh yeah and he used to take your shirt off what are you doing I'm going swimming is it not obvious he said let's go for a swim instead of taking his clothes off wow they didn't even objectify him by showing his body I'm shocked they might be trying to save it for like if he's getting out with the water you know like this is how he gets out of the water just this hands up in the air it was amazing I hope we get just drugged down to the bottom of the water by an alligator I feel like this movie could be half an hour if they just cut the fat out of these scenes it's like every shot is like three seconds longer than it needs to be does she need help getting in the water is she your child you need some floaties too girl could he love the most well easy yeah to be honest this is some dialogue that I might write they are struggling so hard to keep their heads above water what what these scenes are so weird there's way too many of them and they're way too long and now that amount of sour patch kids I don't know that I can finish this movie I don't think we can ever be just friends why not you've had three conversations you're yet to make that discernment don't touch noses oh are you guys standing no how are you so far out of the water how are you barely able to keep your neck above water and now you're standing yeah see if I was him I'd be like well if you're gonna wear my shirt I'm gonna wear your dress and I want to put her dress on comedy bro that's comedy they in a full-blown have you never been touched he's gonna stop you know he's got that warm heart he's got that cold exterior but the warm heart he's gonna want to make it special for her right we've got time one bite just gonna take one bite and then you're gonna finish surprised dude is she's losing it they're making out I'll kiss you for her I volunteer as tribute good boyfriend's got to be so confused what just happened and there's watching bro talk do you not communicate in your relationship no I guess not there's been like 13 lines of dialogue in this entire movie it's half way over this is so weird Landon finally bro come in with some sage advice I think that's gonna be your role in this movie I need that wisdom landed into her life Oh what happened right right right yeesh I thought you didn't drink you made a real mess in there I was celebrating dear old dad is getting married so what you're in college bro you're in college handle your [ __ ] your dad's getting when you married Oh No having a twelve-year-old tantrum okay you're such a douche oh no he's got to take care of it Arnold Schwarzenegger there come with me to the chopper that was the worst Arnold impression ever sorry for how I treated you you delivered that in such an after-school special way I'm sorry for how I treated you just going through that at home I'm a mess hey bebe Rexha oh yeah of course make out this makes sense because your boyfriend's visiting you literally waiting for you at the dorm it makes sense to make out with another guy as a morally astute character oh you're doing more than kissing okay yeah layer down put that hard in oh hello yikes yikes alright are we doing some speaking are we doing a spanking scene ok hardened ready whenever you are there anytime now what no spanking man fifty shades might have been a bad fanfic movie but at least it knew what its audience wanted no spanking at all what a joke oh damn she slept over her boyfriend's waiting for her this is a yikes there's like levels of dirtiness that you're doing people seven missed calls what's their excuse girl okay someone's gonna steal that bike do you have you never been on a college campus before someone's stealing that bike lock it up a friend needed my help in the middle of the night yeah and the only way that I could help him is by having his tongue do swirlies on my vagina why did you come here oh you know if you told me at the beginning of the movie that shus gonna get into the lesbians bed I would have thought the scene was gonna be a lot happier for me at least I didn't expect to see when it my job left you know I was there for me you know I hate myself for what I did to him should cuz that it's not your fault well you got an irresistible mouth is that what you're trying to say no as my best friend that you you ate my [ __ ] so good I just can't stay away there's so much more don't slow turn don't slip library's closing my berries getting blown what a federal search you're a terrible security guard we should go why he's clearly shown a lack of care it's such a casual jog run run why are you not running take your time to explode in supernova this is another sexy professor doing some stuff did you think that's gonna be romantic do you have any idea help you to fool you all right now in the dark when I can't see you what are you always writing in their lyrics he's in a band they tour globally Tessa ma what are you doing here don't you knock what the hell is going on throw it away for some actually got stand up to her mom she just stand up to her Bob you're gonna break up with this boy no she's not and you are gonna focus on your school now she's not gonna flunk out of college if I leave now you're cut off totals [ __ ] don't need your money now she got a free slot mom I'll be your sugar baby if you got money to spend on a child Hardin is complicated he's different around me how every girl rationalizes the bad boy whose place is this friend of my father's I'll thank God I thought he was gonna say ours like we're not ready for this kind of commitment bro imagine if it were our place Oh bro I just said we're not ready we're not ready for the commitment live together no pass pass pass your mom was gonna cut you off I had to do something she starts to pay for school which is the giant financial bearing on her you gonna pay for her school too rich boy savage boy so what is her goal does she have a goal or an ambition I wish she had something outside of the romance till I carry the story like she had some sort of purpose that she wants to become something and she's working towards something now he's a photograph earn you still can't believe it did your mind this again she's like bro can you give me some substance you know I don't deserve you but being a sad boy nothing could ever change that's not sure at all what if he cheats on you you're still gonna feel the same way no one else goes to this aquarium No ah his dad's getting married so we're brothers yep you're clipping them I'll see you two in there that guy's infinitely more interesting than sadboy cuz I know his motivation he's just sad and he's a boy he's sad boy at least the other guys like mmm he's he wants to be smart and he's like first to class he's got ambitions Oh Peter Gallagher sandy Cohen thanks for coming I'm happy you decided to join us hey sandy can you stop acting oh my god I hate you I hate you if he was 14 I could justify his behavior but he's at least 19 maybe 20 or 21 all right what do you guys say sandy I'm all ears and frankly she saved my life and not one but two brilliant sons my father was a drunk nothing cake I won't listen to sandy speech clearly I don't need your distress and change what happened sad boy shut the [ __ ] up I want to hear sandy Cohen speak one night when I was 8 my dad was at the pub he messed with the wrong guys they came to our house for payback found my mom instead I tried to fight them off I couldn't yeah you're eight you little weak a hero [ __ ] I don't suppose you two call any of those passages he was even listening I told them I told him sandy I wanted to listen but he wouldn't oh yeah you [ __ ] you got water platforms those are for the richest of people mmm is he gonna take his anger out that he has towards his dad on her sexually there's one hand of that condom he have that he a vet he's a veteran with this stuff if there's not gonna be any spanking I'm not really into this that when he's writing stuff on her back oh you just do one more I promise I got it I love you or marry me or something or he's gonna slap his dick against her back something I don't oh yeah that's love I love you I told you I hope he doesn't tell her don't tell her let's Heller it'd be so good if you don't tell her yes they're not gonna end up together now I know because of that scene oh Jesus why I think you're the worst villain ever how's it going with you and your boyfriend and I can tell you moved on pretty quickly yes cool where's this going yeah I mean hardened does whoa hardened does okay what was the point of that scene what did that accomplish at all established that that girl has ill intent yeah like we didn't know that before MALDI who was that who's Molly tell her yet who uh who oh it's his phone what didn't you tell me do you trust me of course are you and what's the problem got you there yes don't start with this sad stuff yeah just sad look out the window while it's raining by the window so yep I get it you're sad you ever seen someone happily sit by a window so while it's raining that would be a misdirect who's Jace who are these characters oh god it's raining I thought we can do a sad montage in the rain we'll get there I'm sure oh my god it's matter I haven't seen you since you moved out yeah you must have been great friends huh you just ditched her she's been such a good friend to you you two are living together yeah how do you not know you moved out of the dorm and you didn't tell your dorm mate and your friend where you were going what you're not friends I Harden what is happening is there anything you want to tell Tessa like what's been going on between you and her don't you think this thing has gone a little too far with Fang Hardin Molly shut up remember truth or dare yeah you don't think I can make it happen is it their makeup fall in love with me and then I'll just turn it off yikes okay okay I mean I've seen this plot like a hundred times before you knew oh oh you've been left out damn that's harsh that is harsh we kind of came out of left field though let's be real here I'm gonna make him fall in love with me yeah it's pretty messed up considering that she broke up with her boyfriend for you cinema was real I actually thought I'd say something it was real you're not gonna say anything top was all before what and this is after this you said nothing to change the way you felt about me oh I said it was [ __ ] and I guess for both wires what you know a liar just didn't think it through ah here we go sad scene in the rain sad walk you the music here we go I know for a fact this is written by a fanfic writer he's in the rain sad too this is perfect yeah fingers through your hair you sad boy are you going home to her mom I guess we're also you supposed to go the one friend you have betrayed you and your boyfriend who you were living with betrayed you you got nowhere see ultimate walk of shame I'm sorry I'm sorry I love you moms like I'm lukewarm on you you did abandon me for sad boy so I don't really recognize you as my child reunite with the high-school boyfriend I guess I just never saw any of this coming yeah but it's like the point you're like we change and we discover who we are oh look at you being reasonable I think that's okay baby we would more mature than the sad boy and here at high school where are you you're back in the dorm with the friend that betrayed you explain this you need to start making more of an effort bro if you want to win her back just sitting in your room listening to music chase her go to our hometown sure you care oh no wait and look at books in your room that'll probably get her back [Applause] how I brush she's out here doing things you're still in your room she's out here going through days and weeks and he's still in his room oh now you're on the roof 6 feet outside of your room pressed by all of you oh damn I thought Michael Jackson died did he do a cameo before he passed away gratulations on all of your good work bye sexy teacher thanks for the great course miss young this is what Harding turned in I think it was actually written more for you it was for me what oh yeah I forgot this movie just has no dialogue in it I've read hundreds of novels in my life well if I thought they were fools that love was something fictional only found in Warren pages of a book but that has all changed since I met my Elizabeth Bennett I'm sorry please forgive me that was his grand plan it was just to turn in a paper that he assumes she'll never see you have no strategy dawg you don't deserve this oh but crocodile just you know oh you're gonna end the movie really Jenny you could have gauged what the audience wanted a little bit better don't you think was such a bad plan to win her back cuz you're trusting a professor to hand over a final project to a student which happens like never after after this movie I want to die this book is so short like the chapters are like less than a thousand words how long is this book how many words is what is it called after no way it's a hundred forty six thousand words oh wait this must be three hundred chapters long it's 592 pages man sighs eighty-four font customers who bought this item also bought this does not surprise me at all that people who read this book also buy this book this movie could have been a 10 out of 10 with just one change you make one change and this movie becomes a perfect movie that one change add more spanking but don't listen to me what do I know I feel like if I ever directed movie is just gonna constantly people to be spanking each other and when we like the focus of the shots but you'll just hear the sound and sometimes you'll see the hands move the actors will be always spanking each other during the scenes Oh am I [Music]

Channel: Dylan Is In Trouble

Views: 3,520,670

Keywords: after, movie, commentary, review, reaction, dylan, funny, netflix, trailer, soundtrack, scene, scenes, after movie, after full movie, after movie scenes, edit

Id: WlFslyza5z4

Length: 29min 6sec (1746 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 30 2019