was "TWILIGHT" always this CRINGEY?? (re-watching marathon)

[Laughter] hello Twilight all four books they're right here in my hands don't worry I didn't purchase these myself I stole them from my sister that's a true story I thought maybe saying that I didn't buy them would like absolve me but I stole these which means I committed a crime against my own family in order to obtain the Twilight books that's worse I'm like a drug addict oh god I hate my new haircut so much just know that my barber [ __ ] me up big time so for today we're gonna be binge watching Twilight's I'm gonna marathon these I'm getting them all done today I'm gonna sit here the entire time absorbing Twilight's into my eye sockets and to my ear holes so I'm pretty sure Twilight is on Hulu and I don't have Hulu but you get a one-month trial so let's just give this a shot no ads sounds good to me I'm just gonna cancel this literally after today so I've seen these movies when I binge the books I also binge the movies as well at the same time the only thing I remember is like a treadmill walk or when the vampires coming in the first one this is deer get [ __ ] up god dammit Bambi wait it's not real is it okay so she lives in Phoenix right what she's just standing out in the middle of a desert holding cactuses cacti we get it you're in Arizona I live in Arizona now it's not just filled with people holding cactuses in the desert you know like there's cities here why are you all here why is she leaving again this isn't her mom date like a baseball player but they want to go on the road they want to go as she's literally ditching her daughter just let she get [ __ ] go off with their new boyfriend 3120 people Tim it is a really small town 3,000 people there's one guess it grew out again as hair tends to do sales lady picked up the bed stuff you like you like purple right just leave me alone my cactus dad try to cry oh yo there's like 3,000 people in this town there's gonna be like 80 kids at this school you know and small-town people they don't get judgmental like that you're like new kid [ __ ] you're the come in be our friend that's how it small towns are well this kid shake his head in the back what a [ __ ] douche no this is now small towns are at all if you get a new kid you are like the coolest person that's ever stepped foot in the town watch this dude shake his head in the background hello ok judgmentally staring at her ass what's this guy doing look at that stare [ __ ] you dog shaking his head I'm just gonna by the way I can't believe she did this movie I totally forgot she did this movie oh my god yes we'll just run another editorial on team drinking you know you can always go for speedo padding on the swim team actually that's a good one it's not it's not do you even have a swim team you're such a tiny school there's no way you have any [ __ ] swim team is he who's he that's bad man vids haha how powerful is that fan the physics of this okay so there's a fan going papers fine the paper is fine right now so she walks in front of the fan so she's blocking the wind from the fan and suddenly the paper across the room gets jacked up was that a giant penis I mean a regular-sized penis arabela yeah remember me I played Santa one year I'm sitting in my lap let the girl eat her garden burger Weyland Weyland has underaged girls wailing for help more like oh he back he back so you enjoying the rain these are extreme close-ups in the classroom all the shots are like right [ __ ] here [Music] I don't really like the rain why'd you move to the wettest place in the continental US oh my mom ditched me for a baseball player I believe you what she sold twitchy she twitches man a very difficult for me to read oh you can't read her mind because she's got superpowers or something it's the florescence dog you're so weird like I get it you're a vampire but god damn you weird what why are you here why'd you come to the hospital huh how did you get over to me so fast you pushed it away with your hand adrenalin well nobody's gonna believe you dude it's stupid that's such a stupid answer no one's gonna believe you that's just gonna raise her suspicions be like yo adrenaline I have no idea I play it off like I have no idea how I did it it was amazing I'm [ __ ] amazing woman I hope you enjoy disappointment that's what I say before I have sex with someone doesn't he watch her from outside yeah okay he's outside of her window is she orgasming oh wait did she orgasm awake what is he doing here bro is he her room she's orgasm to herself awake you ever see a dog fart itself awake or in farts and it's like that's what she did but with an orgasm and then Edwards just standing there how does she orgasm Edward were you touching her in her sleep you don't even say hi to me hi you're such an idiot haha that's funny though I had an adrenaline rush bro you can google it you can anytime someone says like I have this thing you can google it know that they're just lying because you know that they googled it in order to make sure it's on Google and it's like a thing you at least watch where you walk god damned if he wasn't a vampire he would just be like an abuser wrong cold and means if you were smart you'd stay away from me if a guy says it's you run run like dog don't they always so dark and mysterious these are like classic abusive relationship science and she's just ignoring every red flag it's actually pissing me off what if I'm not the hero wanna find the bad guy rod shut what's everybody's going to the beach come push speech look push no no no yeah I'm more of a poll kind of guy bro get down on your boat and sail away you about to die don't get off your boat yeah good attaboy yeah sail the [ __ ] away they have those like fast motion effects on their movements it looks so bad oh the streets of Washington ain't safe Oh what no dude is backing off five on one no dude is backing off just because he's like a guy looks at you funny you know bellows in the car like I wish you would have took him out to be honest like as a guy I just wanted that I wanted the action secrets of him just ripping five dudes apart oh wow what a risky driving maneuver no I'm on a special diet did you follow me I feel very protective of you what you read minds I can read every mind in this room money money sex that's what people are thinking about like people just sitting there like hmm money I love money money is so nice to have I could spend it I could save it there's so much I could do with it and I heard a statistic which is totally false that men think about sex like one every three seconds like it crosses their minds it's not true at all if you live sitting there like I can't wait just sex I wanna sex I want to sex that girl I can't wait to sex later I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore I don't I can see how every like twelve-year-old is just loving this you know well I can see where this appeals like in the books he's described as like the perfect guy like being a becoming a vampire your features just become perfect so an attractive person with superpowers like is obsessed with you I can see that says hearts aflutter everywhere I don't have the power to stay away from you bro keep it in your pants please wait does he they have sex later they have sex at some point but he's got no blood so how does he get a boner okay I think I'm Mormon up now your hand is so cold yeah it's cold outside boom excuse waylynn fortress found a boat Abner's place whaling just examining the body I bet he was whaling when he got eaten oh wait that was Waylon don't worry we're gonna we're gonna find this thing I want you to carry this with you what is that pepper spray it'll give your old man some peace of mind you're gonna you think it's an animal can you pepper spray animals is a possible thing that you can do she's going off to the woods with it oh this is the famous thing you know what you are see you vampire you won't hurt me you sure about that [ __ ] you need to see what I look like in a sunlight know what's a vampire's weakness if it's not suddenly this is what I am this is what people are so up in arms about it's not so much that you're like killing the law it's like what weaknesses do vampires have if sunlight doesn't hurt them you know that's my issue with it the skin of a killer but my camera I'm gonna kill it I don't believe that I have a killer says he's a killer would probably believe him you know there's no reason you'd say you're a killer if you're not a killer you can outrun me come on man damn protect nature a little more bro you sent it's like a drug to me you do look like an addict like my own personal brand of heroin oh there we go never afraid of loving you don't say it only afraid of losing you God shut the [ __ ] up oh my god what is your weakness who can stop you you could take over the world you're like you're impossible to kill about three things I was absolutely positive oh I know this is cringy first Edward was a vampire yeah at number one nor to second there was a part of him and I didn't know how Tom inant that part might be that's thirsted for my blood and third what I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him you said you said why they've been seen together so many times she's 19 18 19 18 damn bro give him a hickey that looks so dumb why add that shot in it's a nice ass house to stop using your powers so worthlessly for a house of vampires don't you think you'd have less windows right open yeah it's too light if the Sun comes in oh wait it doesn't hurt them it's the one place we don't have to hide except you got windows everywhere someone could come take pictures of you if you're shining if the sign is coming through this movie isn't bad all this joke here I like this one graduation jokes private joke let me tricular a lot that's funny I like so this movie's good this movie no I would say it's good it's not bad this movie doesn't deserve a lot of hate this one's actually not bad Tabuchi copyright free music smart actually love this clair de lune clair de lune it's great yeah yeah I love this my hair up piano piece good sure I said weird I'm Team Edward now [ __ ] team Edward Team Jacob remember when that was a thing yes you're gonna kiss previous tosses are out the window there you go I can't dance sure I can't dance hold on tank SpiderMonkey [Music] how do they make some of this look so good and then some of this looks so awful hang on thank SpiderMonkey shut the [ __ ] up if I was a vampire I would definitely learn the piano but you have so much time you don't sleep those extra eight hours that's such a beautiful skill but I feel like it'd take too long to master so you you an : huh I don't like it I didn't ask for your opinion bro just looks at you like you're something to eat okay that's your place why you out of that scene specifically to deliver that line I hate it could a guy have anything to do with that oh yeah ah you can't just show up in her room like that did you get in here no window do you do that on just a past couple of months Black's you [ __ ] weird I just want to try one thing this is the slowest [ __ ] case I've ever seen I was like a 30-second leap into a kiss he's right outside yeah he wanted to meet you all right bring him in oh yeah he was you said he's outside where does she go where does he come in from did you even open the door was he just waiting around the corner was he just standing there I thought he was like waiting outside they got in the porch or in his car but he was literally waiting in the corner what that's a weird dog she was tonight she's just complete baseball with my family how does she play they all have like super strength and super speed they're gonna throw a ball 400 miles an hour at her head yeah we need an umpire an umpire she they brought her to referee hey you want to come play baseball with us yeah you can referee and just stand on the sidelines okay thanks for inviting me ours is not dangerous this fall had to be thrown at thousands of miles an hour and Bella's right there if you didn't catch that and that like bounce off your hand and hit Bella in the face she's dead not only is she dead her face explodes doctor you're supposed to be like the smart one the safe one okay this is gonna sound stupid I think they're using the same shot oh yeah that's watch let's watch from above runner takes off from second okay oh wait I thought the runner taking off from second continuity here watch the runner go watch the runner go now the runners back okay okay okay monkey man and then here's the same shot again then they use the same shot twice these [ __ ] they just literally recycle this shot Wow oh this is the treadmill shot I saw the behind-the-scenes on this they put him on a treadmill and had him walk so I made it look like they're fast walking I'm Carl I got him I got him oh come on Kim Cammy camera G Gandhi that's my dude he was in the Oh see that's my dude right here [Music] okay girl [ __ ] you knew this was a dangerous life when you got into this ever was like don't date me you're so dangerous and she's like I'm okay I'm safe oh no no no she's gonna say something really hurtful to her old man oh I'm not ready for this I can't hurt him you're gonna you gotta I know I'm not that much fun to be around but I can change that we can he's my favorite character come on I just don't hurt him yeah and you know if I don't get out now I mean I'm just gonna be stuck here like mom you couldn't give her a good life dad [ __ ] piece you can't give me a good life either I should like this chosen like she could have had she could have been out having fun with friends and stuff became a warrants our patch kids family sighs is this family sighs I don't have a family just me Oh what they're [ __ ] jumbo-sized I don't want jumbo look how big they are he's our sour patch kids these are sour patch teenagers Bell people are my life now damn bro yeah she's 17 and you're like a hundred and seventeen so you know it's creepy right I know there's a fight scene I know Edward fights cam and then won a Teen Choice Award for best fight sequence it better be a good fight so house of mirrors or is this a ballet studio telling oh yeah she getting [ __ ] up oh he getting [ __ ] up she's get bitten she I thought she doesn't get turned into a vampire till later yeah wow what a great fight sequence she only has minutes left ah suck the venom out how does that work well you kind of go to Jacksonville so I can't hurt you anymore you know why don't you just let her turn into a vampire that was an option you can't leave me I'm here that's the second book that's the second movie you just can't say stuff like that's me that's the second movie he [ __ ] leaves that's right oh my god where else am I gonna come up why don't know old wait to the [ __ ] next movie we'll answer that question guess I'll see you around Ella I leave you alone for two minutes and the Wolves descend [Music] problems important rite of passage and I'm one of you missing [Music] want to go so Bella sees all of her friends and she waves at them they're all having a good time and she just got there and he's like you want to get out of here I mean all your friends are here so why would you want to be here that makes no sense what prom is an important rite of passage then [ __ ] that's you brought her here specifically for her to enjoy prom I'm dying already every second I get closer older you're 17 chill being with you until I do it Snow White Huntsman and meet the director Oh who are you who are you oh that's the that's Cam Gigandet girl the vampire she pissed she pissed cuz her man did all right man we're going on tip number two no moon right yeah no moon there's an all Boone this the new one see at this point the first movie was like a super smash success right so the actors know that like there's gonna go full campy I think like they're all just gonna buy into this so hard because they know the audiences have bought in really hard you know I feel like this is gonna get worse the first one is not terrible I really don't mind the first film and out of all the books this was my favorite book the second one know what you can't hit the bushes for her grandma what I'm so confused this is a dream what is that her oh that's cool I think there's like a complex idea here like she fears getting old especially when the person she loves they su-yong damn they almost recasted him - for the second movie I remember that was like a big thing and he worked out like super hard it wasn't like big enough to fill the role cuz in the books I think he's like six five and huge I saw this the other day and thought we got her a gift Oh Matt stomp Team Jacob I don't know what to say so how come Jacob black a secretary gifted I know cuz I have nothing to give back to you don't give me everything just beg greening ah I already seen you open it and guess what you love it you're gonna wear it tonight way to spoil what it is Romeo killed his true love out of sheer stupidity only doing vien one thing for humans little poison dagger to the heart so many different options sad to consider at once I didn't know if I'd get you in time I had to come up with some kind of plan so while she was in danger captured by James on his way over he was thinking about how he would kill himself what kind of teen angst he [ __ ] is this he's like I am V Romeo and Juliet because at least they can kill themselves what Team Jacob I'm sorry I'm sorry too necklace yeah why do you tell people the gift before they open it why Rapids it's a necklace shut the [ __ ] up well Tony wasn't my gift this one's from Emmet already installed it in your truck finally a decent sound system for the piece stop tell bro open I think I let's don't tell her what it is please let her just open this [ __ ] you know [Music] you're not gonna want me when I look like a grandmother though I have a fetish for grandmothers we have to leave Forks I've gotta think of some Minnesota Charlie you ain't coming [ __ ] it kind of looks like the Joker here doesn't it looks like the Joker you'd actually be a good Joker come on okay see you later ready man Jacob would never that's not Jacob is it well why didn't shirtless boy bring her back isn't that sketch like she's unconscious and you came back with her in your arms shirtless oh this is doc hold on alternate top no moon this is actually really good how they how she did in the books so it's October November December January I like how she did that just the seasons or the the months pass they're on their own page I love that I'm a contrarians so as soon as people start talking [ __ ] about Twilight I wanted to offend it maybe that's why I'm team Jacob because he never had a shot in the books he literally never there was never one moment where she was like maybe Jacob never he was always Edward and if I can't have had word dogs died and then maybe Jacob after that and so it's Edward death of Jacob okay so it's Halloween well this is gonna be cool this is gonna be so cool I like how they're doing this I'm just saying oh yeah this is good I love how they did this I got beer and bikes are we desirable enough with those two attributes yes he's like oh this [ __ ] crazy huh all right get out like my bike crazy girl really like music any why you're another level of depressed when you stop with liking music that's when you're at rock bottom what about the part where you're his girlfriend my friends burn it's your [ __ ] ma who burn see then the movies just like she's having a great time she's just building bikes with Jackie yeah they're connecting to having a good time it's like a distraction ordering Cheeka Cheeka butts chika bums Chicago pizza oh but in real life in the books I know the books in the books she's not interested it hurts of course what do I know I'm just a terminal bachelor famous ladies man okay yeah heard that all of a sudden you started following Sam around like a little puppy dog [Music] about face punch heard of that what a great perspective title for a movie yeah you hear that new Hollywood script that's going around she's got the rock in it it's called face punch guess what happens in it someone gets their face punched repeatedly I think okay again it's vague my memories really vague I have a terrible memory but I think there's like a really romantic the most romantic scene between Bella and Jacob happens at the conclusion of this movie theater thing so this is peak Jacob Bella shipping oh here here here Oh what I can't hold your hand of course you can well you can oh I just think it you know means something a little different to you oh I'm not gonna give up I don't want you to selfish so selfish you know I'm not I'm not like a car that you can fix up no but I'd like to ride you I need to go home maybe you need to go to the hospital you want me to put you in the hospital you're really hot Thanks just walking around shirtless you've been lying to everyone Charlie but you can't lie to me you've been lying to everybody charlie everybody I got glasses by the way oh yeah I can see his nipples better good oh here we go again not anymore this is so cringy hey after all how much could you mean to him if he left you here unprotected big facts Victoria won't be happy about my killing you I thought he was a good guy and I had the entire time like this guy's a good guy but he's not a good guy no a CGI wolf no ever did kind of [ __ ] her up I was thinking about that Victoria she's still after the Cullens you know and since they're like a group she's not gonna go after them she's gonna go after it's so obvious that was an idiot can you put on a shirt okay that was dope his [ __ ] that was so cool oh he's moved I can't tell his acting is not good enough to read it on his face did she slap did she slept both of them at the same time oh I thought you got a two-for-one this is one guy space the other guy face I thought she was like that was a nice slap [Music] damn this is yeah this is actually good oh you went back and put a shirt on huh how is he okay there's reason for him to be shirtless now because he warped into one of those wolves like there's a reason for him to be shirtless his shirt ripped now there's no reason for him to be wearing a shirt and he puts his shirt on it's like inverted any time you should be wondering a shirt he's not and any time he shouldn't be wearing a shirt he is the sea shower and a shirt I bet he does Oh red head is in the water too what a fright hidden oh I think she does come after her Oh red yes that's so cool okay that's so cool oh that is so dope come on now is that not cool up the intensity bro you're out like a - I need you at like a nine they don't kiss here do they oh he go for it he'd go through yeah I know it's your [ __ ] just kiss the man nose neck that's not a good comparable action why the hell would you try and kill yourself I mean what about Charlie what about I didn't try to kill myself every time someone's like why would you do that you leave so many people behind Charlie every woman every time she sound like one person that would give a [ __ ] and then everyone else well you can't you can mention the mom too you know Jacob she's got other people in her life she's got some friends oh she's receptive she's oh my god stay here you just never had a chance bro you never had a chance she was receptive to kissing him though and making him okay quit don't beg it's off-putting you should have pretended like it was a telemarketer that's what he that's what he should have done sorry wrong number we don't want any dick enlarging pills and then hang up Eddie Eddie where are you watch her bump into this guy and the actor just be like you [ __ ] watch watch watch there he turns ah excuse me that is my shoulder then why did you let her so dumb so dumb pain where power our power is just to make people feel pain if he can read thoughts he should be able to read his opponent's next move you know the only reason they left was because I thought I was protecting you you're an idiot you're an idiot to have a chance happy life that makes sense that part you can lead with because that makes sense but I want to say something too first put a shirt on it's always been used never had a chance marry me Oh cut them all right here that's a good way to end a movie that's good yeah good good good after the next baby Eclipse who are you oh I don't know you and I don't think you're in the other movies so I'm pretty sure you're about to die did you're not bring an umbrella did he have an umbrella before you making poor choices [Music] oh she bit him I think oh I think Victoria I think this is Victoria's movie she's trying to get a pact to fight the Cullens that make sense some say the world will end in fire they say some say nice some say it's a song a song of ice and fire that's through Game of Thrones Game of Thrones next week marry me I can't save to be back before we just don't have time to get married that's that our excuse I can't marry you I have an obligation at 4:00 p.m. you needed a friend Jake was there dog died you broke his heart leave them alone you don't deserve Jacob I'm just saying if you go to the University of Alaska I'm never gonna see you University of Alaska is that even a thing they have a really great science program what studying snow in graduation Oh what's the present laughs wait don't tell her what it is please don't tell her what it is before she opens it good job mom you have manners save them all but they'd make a good quilt she sewed a bunch of t-shirts together is actually a good gift because she went out of her way she like put work into it it's not like she just bought something she put heart and love into the gift good job mommy should have a little piece of Alaska we have a good science program yeah okay no they're not even alive it makes me sick better you really be dead than one of them what we just killed her haha throws his [ __ ] motorcycle at her face why is that Victoria our system that was ever oh that's Victoria that's Victoria oh no it's guy I don't know his name don't know what he's about I know he's a guy just kisses on the lips you that he's gonna suck his blood no he's gonna suck his lips doesn't he own a shirt finally someone says it so what you want to do then find a shirt for you to wear aha keys third wife receives Couric's [Music] third wife's sacrifice distracted the cold woman long enough for top why not just cut your palm you didn't have to stab yourself in the [ __ ] chest something terrible is coming waiter I have to figure out what the total people going for Christmases they'll never see me again after a few decades everybody know be dead well that's comforting thanks ed I've lived through it I can't stop staring at his sideburns they're just too long believe I am so I want him to have shorter sideburns and you need to know that I'm in love with you and I want you to choose me instead of him it's not happening I don't feel that way for you I don't buy it I don't love you I don't believe you it's a lost cause read the Scituate read the room bro there's nothing I'm never gonna want more than an hour after you've been changed as one thing you'll want more one thing you'll kill for good dick but Oh then decide sister it's time actor when we were five they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up our answers were things like vampires astronaut werewolves president Oh graduation present I made it myself you whittled they're after Bella Warren no you get yourself killed no way you could use their help they fight vampires that's their whole thing this is what we do I wanna say I'm should be happy yeah boo look at us together you are the one who wanted us to get along do I wonder wonder wonder son all the training the Confederate Army gave me Confederate Army you've run the 1400s you can love more than one person at a time I've seen it polygamy are you trying to be you know three I'm a virgin seems only fair as I be represented as well it's really pretty yeah yeah did you widdle that yourself like Jake did I think so Team Jacob we it's the long fight no killing you your sex will kill her what how are you that good at sex they're not gonna get it on right here right now no they are oh my god oh my god oh my god because eyelashes are insanely long I think every time he blinks he risks like sweeping her face with his eyelashes why like her skins right here and he went for the beanie it's fine okay oh he wants to cuddle her body heat he's gonna let another guy cuddle his girlfriend where she just plans a little kiss on his nipple nipple kiss when you thought she was gone that you'd lost her how did you cope he didn't cope at all he decided to commit suicide definitely won't make my list of top 10 favorite evenings you have a list well ten I spend with you stop and maybe I'll get myself killed and make it simple for you know just Oh what kind of but that is that because I don't want to lose you not good enough because you're too important it's still not good enough Jacob what kiss me girl you're engaged why why joshy's so manipulating him you could be less into a girl with you just got engaged like two nights ago oh [ __ ] a mob movies go ham on him she's close I can hear her thoughts Oh Seth go don't go - I wonder why is he leaving why'd you send your backup away dog there we go [ __ ] them up yeah you little [ __ ] house not having a hand field so these vampires not have fangs ever not even when they're sucking blood I've been waiting to see some fangs yet to see them three movies deep bro how are you getting beat up by a one-handed dude oh he's got one hangs oh thank you bro take out his other hands oh oh he got her he got her he got her did he just bite out vertebra how did it hurt no entire neck sever our vampire is super flammable did you douse her in gasoline first what happened coordinated hood I gave him some morphine but his body temperature will burn it off soon he's asking for you is any high-end morphine [Music] I'm so high right now you're trying to make everyone else happy you're already giving away too much yeah she's trying to give away your virginity to you dog you won't take it this wasn't a choice why isn't he shining look at his face there's Sun on his face there's clear sunlight on him you noticed me 3.3 billion dollars at the box office oh damn what's the plot I'm Jacob gets angry at a letter oh it takes his shirt off are we not even like 20 seconds into this he's already got his shirt off what you think it pops how has it been three full movies and you still are unaware of what's going on I'll meet you at the altar I'll be the one in wait it was very convincing so pure innocent right now I feel like I'm watching High School Musical well how fast did you raise that we thought you needed something blue and something old besides your mother Thanks Wow now I see why you divorced your first family heirloom pass on to your daughter all we know she does have a kid oh my god how did I [ __ ] I think I blocked it out from my memory I think just stupid movies and stupid things I just block away from my memory so I don't have to think about them everything spin what this is the start of this over two years and his mustache is look the exact same every single year it takes dedication to look at that mustache every day in the mirror and just to keep it trimmed to that exact length while also shaving the rest of your beard I kind of applaud his dedication you don't think at one point you'd have been like you know what maybe it's time to get rid of the stash Oh or she's panicking I'm sure she sees him and then she calms down right yeah she sees him and everything's right in the world's it's very subtle how they did that but it's a nice touch can you whisper these lines anymore quietly please there's a crowd here it would be a shame for them to hear what you have to say Edward will be a good husband I know this because some cop I know things like how to hunt somebody to the ends of the earth it's an extraordinary thing to meet someone we can bare your soul to with Bella I feel like I can finally begin so I'd like to propose a toast to my beautiful bride no measure of time with you will be long enough let's start with forever wow that was great that's a great speech I'll marry you [ __ ] that was romantic it's not like you're gonna have a real honeymoon anyway it's gonna be as real as any roses you are joking calm down are you out of your mind oh you'll kill her you know Jacob was all worried that she's gonna have sex with the vampire and that's gonna harm her but what would happen if you having sex with a werewolf and then he transformed as dangerous to him is that bestiality it's all asthma was a gift from Carlisle you own an island is that real is this a thing or is it just a house does he own the house of the islands expensive he totally didn't know where that piece was supposed to go she's in the back line and the Queen just straight shots but he moves it he's like I'm there maybe I win dream he's a really good dream why she was dreaming about them having sex how she dreamed that she beat him in chess that turned around so much oh I remember this plot now she gets pregnant like SuperDuper fast and has a kid in like a month it's like a super special vampire baby sickness announcement must have in the chicken does she just wipe her mouth a vomit and then put her hand on his hand can can we see this again wipe her mouth onto us hint wash your hands girl not only just your vomit but you were touching the toilet you were clutching the toilet can you bring up some my hand sanitizer for what that thing you mean your child I'm gonna take her to Alabama if you had waited to unload maybe this wouldn't be a problem hi Eddie oh she's sickly as [ __ ] huh oh they won't show her face Sam you'll reveal she looks gaunt baby Saturday just sucking out her life force that's so wild that's so wild you did this yeah with his vampire semen and when you died what was the point I know how this ends and I'm not sticking around to watch he's back at the Hat bro didn't you just say you were coming back I'm not gonna let my little brother get himself killed don't wait Leah can't reach her myself you think so proves you need a babysitter the acting has been mostly passable but there's some certain lines certain lines that some of the actors say where I'm just like ya know why are you searching on Yahoo already I know your search results aren't gonna be great Barthez doggy treats that'd be funny because you've given me no choice Bella we're supposed to be partners remember holy [ __ ] this has been like three movies since I've seen any emotion like hardcore emotion from him yeah put stress on the pregnant lady that's smart the sickly pregnant lady good yes I'm that daughter make sure she's really upset because she looks like she's doing so well as it is wait wait wait you're gonna make her drink that yeah put it in a to-go cup thank you gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross marriage when I say the first year is the hardest I say the first cut is the deepest I think you're mixing your sayings up he likes the sound of your voice you can read it's baby mind I love you so much what do you love to you Bella kind of sounds like you're just making all this out which I don't begrudge him for you know she needs a pick-me-up Rosa's trying to talk brother out of her baby names they're not that bad if it's a boy EJ EJ Edward chica what know if I'm Edward I'm like no you're not naming my first child and only child's after the other man you loved that's a big no okay fine that one's not awful yes it is why don't you tell them the girl's name playing around with her mom's names oh it's wild it's something so wild who knows me yeah oh Jesus too weird yeah it's beautiful no it's unique you're going too far with the supportive thing Eddie oh he got every part of her potty breaks and almost you still in there I gotta get him out first Oh was it always this traumatizing it's covered in blood so maybe not beautiful I'm gonna wash it up first mmm quick shower just a quick shower maybe like even a water bottle just get a squirting bottle and shoot the baby with some squirt knees good you don't look so good I don't think that's gonna help dog her [ __ ] Smith sections cut wide open I don't think CPR is gonna do anything I promise I'm okay yeah she's gonna probably lick the baby clean she does look dead she looks super dead like I don't know the levels of death but there's like dead really dead and super dead and she's maxed out as super dead yeah CPR we've established not gonna work homie that's his Batman voice Joker I'm gonna put you in person that's oom what it intends oom posted it killed her it's a baby dog it's not like a tried oh holy [ __ ] oh I remember what happens oh no no bro that's oh my god I think I repress this information man you gonna do some creepy [ __ ] to this baby is this even legal is this allowed can this happen you just fell in love with the baby you're weird that is so weird whoever a wolf imprints on can't be harmed okay okay if that was just like a strategic thing that he was doing like I could understand that like he imprinted on the child not because he'd like saw a future romantically with this baby but because he wanted to protect it and they knew like it just like a loophole in the system the other wolves couldn't attack it because he did that that's one thing but he did it because he had a future with this little child oh man is messy and hella illegal yeah that wolf just imprinted on your child how you feel how you feel dad this actually be kind of a great ending if she didn't come back like all this love of that she's felt and she's seen no mustache who are you who is that man I like this I like this has her death I wish he didn't come back even if he had a part two part two it could just be him protecting the baby from the Volturi because it's all he has the last connection to her he didn't even shed a single tear can vampires cry okay one more baby this is a long credit sequence is there oh there's a bonus sequence oh here we go he's added a new member to his cover oh okay okay let's last one I'm so excited it is 850 850 p.m. we can do this guys we can do if you've stuck around this long like this video this is gonna be sick take so long to edit Kellan Lutz that's his name Kellan Lutz Nikki Reed yep these were actors that were supposed to get like Jackson Rathbone these were actors they were supposed to get so much work after this Ashley Greene's another one booboo Stewart that's not a name that's not you're just making [ __ ] up and I aren't you Twilight booboo Stewart is that Kristen Stewart stunt double if she gets injured doing the stunts to get it rami malek is in this no [ __ ] way than I am right now it's your turn not to break me just bangs his ass so hard he goes flying she's just over here like so bad man how did you like nail the CG in the previous movies and now it looks terrible stop since when do you care about her nose man since he decided he's gonna have a future with your baby oh oh no oh no you couldn't get a real baby why did you see G that baby's face so hard that that ain't a real baby why just get a real one that looks so bad you imprinted on my daughter it wasn't my choice nothing ever made sense you me any of it this was the reason this baby was literal semen like a month ago you fell in love with a month old semen wow this is a shitty house I'm sorry I mean it's a free house you know I'm not gonna turn a blind eye to a free house but you have like a private island can I live there you really were holding back before I'm never gonna get enough of it we don't get tired how are we gonna stop Oh Rosalie and Emmett were so bad it took a solid decade before we could stand to be within five miles of them I think we might be worse just to clarify that was a conversation about how they're gonna have so much sex that was a long conversation in order for Bella to get better she had to change we mean change she's a man she had a sex operation that was the dead I'd be like bro this isn't a porn set I'm not unto you can we kind of go see my daughter who I thought might been dead like a little bit ago stranger things happen every day bro trust me that's embarrass why no you have to supervise she's a bloodthirsty vampire can that see gee baby the [ __ ] out of my sight it's like what the [ __ ] is this this doesn't this is a baby there's no way almost like a hologram Nina thinks for an estimation immortal child as you would if you saw a child catching snowflakes it's actually really easy to kill a vampire their heads come off so simply there's like it's like turn and pop it's like opening up a can of something wow she really just tossed that baby into the fire like it was nothing like whoa there you go did the [ __ ] fire okay well they're not showing the kid oh yeah they've CG to her face why couldn't you just get a young actress god damn this is how she communicates I can't look at her she's not immortal okay what if her power was like to manipulate your mind couldn't that be her power to like you're not even thinking that what Oh Rami Robbie's a waterbender can he bend all the elements is he the avatar he's literally the avatar if the avatar was Freddie Mercury when our once someone from a coven it's never long before evidence turns out proving that coven committed some crime apparently he always pardons one person whose thoughts he claims her repentant this person always has an ability what's the stuff that we're going after Benjamin next was a free nor a cait or anyone else with a gift anyone they want Karla I might not ask you to fight but I will good point bro you gotta stop them because they're getting too powerful and what they're doing is evil they're doing evil stuff first they find a vampire with the power that they want and then they implicates that coven as doing something wrong and then they kill the entire coven and say this person is repentant so will allow you to stay with us and we'll spare you as long as you're loyal to us so the Volturi need to get eradicated clearly they are corrupt power let's see how this movie ends hopefully the Volturi will be dismantled yes let's find out and quit making [ __ ] you're like so arts and crafty that's really a hobby of yours huh like to whittle and do arts and crafts I'm sorry I'm gonna let this man near my child fight scene fights this scene is badass I'm lying a lie this entire fight gets insane [Applause] [Music] as soon as I saw it the first time I lost it [Applause] I feel like they've been running for so long that entire sequence was so long he lets him go at ten seconds one twenty six ten okay they're running running still sixteen seconds later that if something spot was right here and they made it there in 16 seconds these creatures were super speed just chaos I love it this is so good oh sorry Jesse you got decapitated why are not using your powers he's got like powers oh but there has some serious intense powers and he just doesn't use them they need to use the powers more man which one is that who are you who are you I don't know the difference for the different dogs the elements bro you have the power to use evidence why are you not using this magical skill that you have [Music] and Down Goes the leader bro and this is the [ __ ] this is the [ __ ] right here that was all a vision that oh my [ __ ] god I can't believe I spend my whole day watching this just to get to that [ __ ] climax are you [ __ ] me right now are you [ __ ] me this I my god oh my god that is the biggest blue balls in the history of movies all the good things I said about the movie just they did they're like [ __ ] you that's what this movie said to me it's like the coolest action sequence and the culmination of five movies just came to a head the Volturi versus the calming clan and they just duped it out main characters were getting killed it was just so beautiful because what do you need the characters for in an interview after she finished the the books she said she wanted to save the characters just in case she wanted to revisit the world how she know in fact she's like she said she presented writing the books so she's never coming back to this world what spare the characters create new characters you need to go to the george RR martin school of writing where you just kill off characters maybe not at the frequency he does it but be willing to sacrifice not to mention the books there's not even a fight sequence there's no prospective fight sequence the Volturi come there and the Cohens come there and then they just talk it out in the Volturi go home how she give an ending is that you can't hype up two superpower fighting crews coming together and then they just peacefully ash it out and then go home what a terrible ending for your series it's so bad that the movies were like no there's no way we can end it like that we at least have to show some action even if it's not real you gotta kill the whole Terry you said that they're a huge threat and there are evil forces in all worlds now is the time to attack the virtue he might be gone but they will never forgive their rights their rights should I start calling you dad no oh my god no she's still like 11 she's still like 11 years old bro Oh back to the extreme close-ups imagine on a theater screen how big this is that is a godzilla-sized face what's happening what is this sudden music video I think she's letting him in I think that's how it ends she lets him in she pulls her shield back and she lets him read her minds but it would be through her eyes it'd be first-person like this the first person it wouldn't be this it would be external shots that's not how she sees events how did this turn into a BDSM novel like they just love each other so much where does the whole like spanking thing come in chaining her up oh yeah thank you for being over at the same time there were parts where I've genuinely enjoyed this I'm kind of just now realizing what time is it it's like 10:00 it's 11:30 it's 11:25 right now I did nothing today but watch this oh I'm gonna go to sleep and then wake up and then edit this for like three days I did nothing but sit in this chair all day and I am just beat yeah I gotta go wear this out like I'm just exhausted so yeah like this video [Music]

Channel: Dylan Is In Trouble

Views: 4,976,299

Rating: 4.9680257 out of 5

Keywords: twilight, new, moon, edward, bella, jacob, breaking dawn, eclipse, reaction, commentary, hulu, netflix, trailer, review, twilight reaction, edward and bella, full movie

Id: mNDEjkquJHs

Length: 62min 6sec (3726 seconds)

Published: Sun May 26 2019