Why do Men GHOST?

hey Tony Gaskins here topic of the day is why do men ghosts now this is a very popular question and I received this a million times I can't believe I'm just not doing a video on it but I'm gonna walk you through a few reasons on top of the dome of why men ghosts now first I want you to understand something about men that you may not really want to believe and truthfully that is that most men when I say most men I mean 9 out of 10 men do not want to hurt a woman's feelings now I've said that before and a lady said to me she said Tony well if a man doesn't want to hurt a woman's feelings then why does he just ghost her because it still ends up hurting her and that is a very very real and great question because it does not make sense but here's what it is we as humans and including yourself watching this male or female we don't like confrontation so what happens is a man is choosing and remember me explaining a man is not excusing a man a man is choosing the lesser of two evils so he's like I can hurt her feelings by telling her to her face and having to see her face have to see her reaction and having to deal with that or her tears or her questions or her anger or I can just disappear and it hurts her but I don't have to see that I don't have to experience that so this is an immature man understand it's an immature man who hasn't come into his fullness as a man he is not fully secure he is not fully confident and he is the keyword immature so this man goes for one reason one of the reasons is because he doesn't want to confront you with the truth about why he is leaving and so you have to ask yourself should you really care about ghosting like and really ask yourself okay which do I prefer do I prefer him come to me and say well I'm going to break up with you I'm gonna move on with my life because really I only talked to you because I was bored and I needed somebody to talk to because I was angry with my girlfriend and we were on a break and so I saw you and I saw you as less than me I saw you as someone who isn't really attractive and so I assumed that you wouldn't really have high standards or high self-esteem so I talked to you for that reason out of selfishness because I'm a grown boy and I can't be alone and I needed to use a human as a teddy bear to console me in my period of being on a break with the woman that I truly care for which is my girlfriend so I really just came into your life to use you and make you think I liked you and get you all excited about me but now that my girl wants me back I'm gonna be moving on with my life so I hope you have a great one now you have to ask yourself to be honest with you that is a real reason why I'm in ghosts that is a real reason why a lot of men go so do you want to hear that explanation like that or would you rather him just disappear get out of your life and then you can give yourself a narrative like that that consoles you it makes you feel better on the other side you got to ask yourself do you want to hear something about you that is superficial like okay the reason why I'm gonna be ghosting you is because why I'm leaving you is because you don't shave your legs and to be honest with you I don't want a woman who has as much hair on her legs as I have on my legs and if you don't shave your legs and it makes me wonder where else you don't shave and that also lets me know you have armpit hair and to me that's just kind of disgusting and I don't think that a woman should have all that hair on her body and so do you want to here that that is also a real reason why a man has left a woman then I've heard it all I've said it all I've experienced at all and so that the thing is is a lot of times the real truth is something that cannot be said politically correct it's something that is going to hurt you no matter how he says it so one of the reasons on the lighter end of the spectrum is he's leaving because he doesn't know how to tell you the truth about why he's leaving and he doesn't feel like it is necessary to scar you or to cut you that deeply with his words that you may play over and over in your head for the rest of your life so to be honest with you a lot of times ghosting is a gift and instead of being angry about an upset you just got to appreciate it because this man who was immature insecure lost it's no telling what he's projecting onto you what insecurities of his own that he's projecting onto you and then if he gives you an explanation it may just be a projection of more of his insecurities that now your brain replays over and over and over for months or for years to come it may literally make you want to go get a surgery it may make you feel depressed you just don't understand what it can do and the power of words so sometimes some things are better left unsaid so understand that that that is one of the reasons why men ghosts just not knowing how to say politically correct what he wants to say to you about the real reason he's moving on with his life now in there what you heard is underlying reason of why men ghosts which is what I would say reason number two is it's another woman it is another woman so what happens is a lot of times when you notice ghosting typically it happens less than 30 days less than 90 days it is not a whole lot of cases there are some of a person ghosting after years after a year after two years like completely ghosting but typically it's a new situation ship and so in that what you have to realize is you met a man who is actively dating and you met him and he's actively dating so what that means is one or two things it means he's dating multiple women because he met them the same way he met you if that's an online dating out then you shouldn't even ask why he ghosted you if you met a man on online dating because that is a smorgasbord that's a buffet of women you got to expect to be ghosted if you are doing online dating now if you met a man out in public at a store outside in a real way then that's a little different but so understand if you've been ghosted and you met that man online on an online dating app or site then that's your answer right there that that wasn't even real that interaction because he's on there to meet 70 women a week so you got to expect that now on the other side is when you meet a man like in real life or or it could also be on a dating out but he has a situation ship one thing that I've come to realize like right now I know one man out of all the men that I know I know one man who is 100% single meaning no situation ship not sleeping with anybody no little situation I know one man I think he's like 25 or 26 years old Christian guy reads his Bible an hour a day works out every day you know runs his own business I know one man and so I say that to say most men are never 100% single it's just a sad reality I know you can count a million women who 100% single and not sleeping with anybody and don't have a situation ship and that may even be you but most men are never 100% single because of the sexual urges that mean have in it being so strong and I can tell you it is stronger ten times stronger in a man than it is in a woman a lot of women say that's not true but trust me I'm a man I know I'm a man I know because women can go without intercourse for years I've met women who've gone eight nine years and nothing is wrong with them and I see that all the time at my seminars women is half the room raised their hand haven't been having had intercourse in a year or more that is not the case for me because men have a sexual thought every 15 seconds studies say it's very real now I know it's a few you that say well hey I'm just as active as a man congratulation here's a cookie but that is not the norm and me being a married man I know that firsthand cuz I'm married to a woman and I know the difference in our drive and so understand a lot of men already have a situation ship so what happens is he's ghosting you because of another woman but what you realize is a lot of this goals in hand-in-hand because it's another woman but he it also plays with the reason number one that I gave you is he doesn't want to say to you directly I'm going to be cutting you off because I found another woman that I think looks better than you or has better conversation to you or just an overall better person than you he doesn't know how to say that and do you really want to hear that the or the other reason may be I'm going to be leaving you because I'm going back to my girlfriend so it kind of goes hand in hand it is another woman now very rarely very rarely and me being a man hearing the locker room conversation at the barbershop conversations and just having being that man myself a man will it's like a 1% chance that a man ghost you for himself meaning that he goes to jus just because he wants to be single that just is so so so so rare nine out of ten times ninety-nine percent of the time it is another woman that he's either going back to or that he meant the same way he met you on his active hunt or search for a woman whether he's looking for a woman just to sleep with or a woman to marry now another reason why men go swimmin is because he doesn't want to it and I would say this this could be the last reason that really jumps off the page to me another reason is because he doesn't want to give you closure because he is not sure that you are not the one but yet he and so if he comes to you and he gives you closure a man knows that when a woman is fed up or when a woman's mind is made up that she is determined and she is focused and she is locked in so if he comes to you and he says to you listen I'm gonna be moving on from you because of this that or that and you and this why women care so much about ghosting is because a woman wants closure you want closure and so he knows that and so another reason why men ghost is to leave the door open because if you're sitting there every day and just twiddling your thumbs and you're like why why did he leave why did he go to me like was my breath stink was my body stink was did I say something wrong did I do something wrong like what did i do why did he go Smee we had a great time we went on all these days everything was perfect the conversation was amazing like what could have happened is he living why I think he's living I saw him on Instagram so he's still alive it his girlfriend come back I don't see him posting a girl why did he leave me he knows that if he leaves you wondering you will be stuck standing still and that is why a lot of men ghost you and then come back I can't count how many times I've gotten the question why did the man who ghost at me come back it's because he wants you on his roster he doesn't feel that you are the one but he feels that if he can't find someone better you can be the one so you are not his priority you are an option and he ghosted you and left the door open so that he can come back even if it is six months or a year later and here's the thing if you have not given yourself closure you will allow him back and that is why I get the question so much is what to do this guy came back he ghosted me he came back should I allow him back she said I talked to him can I believe that this is real no it's not real so let me answer that question I don't have to do another video for that no it's not real if a guy ghost you you're not the one if a guy ghost you you are not the one hear me hear me clearly if a guy ghost you you are not the one a man will never ghost a woman that he feels can be his wife if he goes - you are a option not a priority not who he wants so what you have to do when a man go shoo is stop running through your mind all the reasons why and just understand he's immature he's laying he's weak he's insecure he's not a grown man yet he's still a grown boy so stop renting him space in your mind free of charge standing still blocking your blessings hating other men pushing other men away because he has scarred you for ghosting you when he means nothing to the equation of your life erase him remove him delete him delete him from the hard drive of your heart of your mind give your self closure and close the door now I know some may say well what if it was because he lost his job or what if it was because he had a death in the family and he felt depressed to be honest with you the only way those things would make a man ghost you is if he has mental health issues and when I say mental health issues I don't mean like or anything like that I mean literally it could just be he suffers from depression or or like PTSD or some other form of mental health issue and so his mind you know anxiety and depression his mind magnifies situation so he can take a death of a family member and it makes him shut down but a man who doesn't have a mental health issue in areas of loss a man actually wants to draw closer to his wife the woman that he can see as his wife he wants to draw closer to you because it consoles him it comforts him it encourages him it uplifts him and because a woman is a giver and a caretaker and a nurturer your love and your energy is really what helps heal him so I never buy the excuse of oh he lost a loved one or oh he's having a hard time fighting actually that's not that that's not a good excuse I've been through both of those and when I lost close friends family members and I was dating my wife and we were just dating I was all over her I was all over her my old on the shoulder you know I'm exaggerating the issue just to get some more love and attention then that's because I really liked her now the women that a man will leave he uses death of a family member or loss of a job or something like that as an excuse because he doesn't want to face the truth confront the truth and tell you what the reason really is so a I hope this makes sense understand please do your best not to give any more energy to a ghosting man and do not entertain ghosts if you talk to ghosts then you are suffering mentally and you need to seek help for that do not talk to ghosts if a man ghost you treat him like Casper the ghost and ignore him and move on with your life if he doesn't have the decency to be a man and give you some type of closure or explanation for the reason he's cutting you off then he doesn't deserve to run in and out of your life so close the door give yourself closure and understand that really it has nothing to do with you when a man goes to you and everything to do with his own internal battles his own insecurities because even if it's something that he doesn't like about you physically or spiritually mentally emotionally that still is not a reason for him to ghost you he goes to you because of his own insecurities and immaturity when he could simply tell you it's just not a fit it's not gonna work and I don't feel like it's necessary to try to explain it all it's just not gonna work so I just Tony Gaskins god bless you great talking to you and we will talk song

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 128,856

Rating: 4.932529 out of 5

Keywords: why did he ghost me, why do men ghost women, why do men ghost, tony gaskins ghosted video, life coach tony gaskins, tony gaskins seminar, relationship coaching, relationship advice

Id: JYrPT-ADkl0

Length: 19min 40sec (1180 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 25 2019