Alright, we're checking out the only game where you literally get
paid to go to the hospital after breaking all your bones. It's Stuntman!
So you're trying to make a movie. And in the action scene of the movie,
it is your job to upgrade, your ability to take damage, fall down the stairs,
get hit by cars, and otherwise break every bone in your body until you
eventually get to go to the next movie. I don't even know what it means
to get more popcorn. I just upgraded my popcorn. So what? What does this do??? More popcorn! You know what? I'm just
gonna upgrade all these as far as I can. Action. Oh, wow. I hit the target. I love that there's some random guy with a voice over in the back,
that was like, "Oh, that was great!!!" All right, so now we're in a car. Do I have to eject myself
into a moving plane? I love how there's one dude. Oh, my God. *evil laughter*
We're murdering so many people to do this scene. Also, this guy skipped leg day Like his whole life. Since he was born.
Aaaaand action! Oh no... I'm being run over by my own car!!!
Okay, I need to make sure that I do this when a car is coming to hit me. All right, so hold on. Let me-
Let's make sure every go hearing area. Oh, no, hold on. I might get a secondary beating here. You really have to time it well
to get murdered. I'm not going to lie. I've never had so much trouble
to get hit by a car before in a game. Not yet. Not yet. Now. Okay, we're getting it. This is happening. I hate the fact that the car that I'm in keeps on forcing traffic to stop
when you just let them hit me. I'm not giving up
until I get murdered by a car. *laughter*
I glitched myself out. I'm just like flying in front of the car.
Wow, I went that far and it's only 10%. Okay, I guess I have to take this
seriously. It sounds terrible. I guess I have to take this dying thing
seriously. Yeah. More of all this. Oh, now. Okay. I clicked a thing. I didn't mean to click. Yeah. All this and all that too. Mhm. Oh yeah. That's hot.
More popcorn, you know. Just all popcorn.
I'm just going to buy all the popcorn. Yeah. Keep buying the popcorn. I've spent so much money on popcorn,
I'm out of money and the popcorn is no way to go. Uh, what scenery shooting am I? Am I in the hand, or am I going
to get dropped from the biplane? I'm just going to go. Oh,
I'm getting thrown. Oh, oh, not the not the solar panels. Someone's going to lose their tax credit.
I'm going to land on this. Never mind. I thought I was going to land on top of the palm tree,
but I guess I shouldn't be so lucky. Only 9%. That's okay, though. We can. We can pump this up.
I can choose my character. Oh, there. Now I'm a
now I'm a superhero getting thrown. I love how she's not even in the hand. She's just like,
cut and pasted to the wrist. All right, so how good
how good is it now that I have this? Oh, yeah. Oh, we're going into the belly. Okay, I guess we're bouncing
off the building. Didn't know it was that hard onto
the umbrella. I mean, it is pretty good. I do already have a cape,
which is excellent. And now. All right. Oh, yeah, that's. That's good air right there. I'm wearing, like, sport shorts, too,
which makes a lot of sense considering what I do for a living.
I took the tree down. The tree is swimming in the pool. I see. I may have done that tree a favor. landscaping company,
hasn't watered me in three years. See, Mr. Tree, I just helped you in the trees
like I don't want to. Or even. Uhhhh, yeah more of this. In fact, let's let's bring it all up to
about 25. Here we are. I guess I should try and aim for the. Wow, that is a long distance to fall. *groaning*
Oh, I'm so close! Oh, I missed it!!!
Now i'm gonna drown to death. Okay, so I got to kind of go
a little bit to the left and I really want to try and hit one of those planes...
Like now? No, that was a little late. Okay, that should be right on. That's. Oh, that's perfect. Oh, this is happening. *groaning*
My kneecap! That was incredible. I can't believe I managed
to land, like, precisely to not get to the end. Now, I kind of want to hit this blimp, too,
just because it's there. As long as I get over this. There we go. Oh, stupid tree. It fell away. Oh, can I touch it? Yeah. I love how she just,
like, literally disappears. It just goes down through the water
and she gets smaller and smaller until she's just atomized. All right. Next scene right where you were doing
a superhero action movie here. All right, let's go. All right. That's a good punch. Got a couple of explosive barrels
to watch out for. Al Still alive, though. Just rest my head on this garbage can. Superhero flying school. Okay. See, now this looks like
a legitimate superhero movie. All right, let's
let's upgrade this a little bit. Here we are, almost max full, full I'm breaking the cement. Okay. The superhero weighs
a lot more than the other guy. I fell through the stairs. Okay, I may have to upgrade these
a little bit more. All right. How about now?
Max! Ready? Go!!! That's perfect. Oh, I couldn't
ask for it to be any better. As long as he doesn't fall
through the stairs, I should be fine. Well, as long as I also
don't get hit by a car in traffic. There's a train here. Hold on. I need to see if I can get hit by this train.
And the triple explosion! Come on, baby. Oh, the trains up top. I still managed to hit, like,
every single barrel- Owww!!! Ahhh, I got double tapped!
Man, I make a lot of money for getting hit by cars. Okay, that's good speed right there. All right. My spinal column
has just been absolutely destroyed and probably pulled out of my mouth. All right. We're going
to have to really pump this up. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. Try it now.
Go! *groaning*
Ouch! The old cross legs, double femur break. The trash cans actually
going to make it to the end. Are you kidding me? Look at the director. He's like, now, oh,
we just spent our entire budget on that. He had one job. It was to go
to the giant bull's eye. My dude's, like, "Hey, Mom, I'm an idiot." And the mother's like,
"I thought you were going to school to become a lawyer..." He's like, "Well, I'm an idiot and a liar." We're going full bore on this. Actually, you know what? I kinda
wanna know if I do, like, a lighter punch off to the side like this. Oh, I just get brain damage.
That's what happens. Okay, fair enough. Now that right there is. Oh, was that my leg, like, up by my skull? Pretty sure it was that. These. Okay, these trash bins are really starting
to get in the way. You know what that just means?
We need more points. I'm going to fly over the board.
Go! As long as I don't hit. Oh, my foot just stubbed my toe on a trash
bin at, like, 700 miles an hour. Oh, I killed a director!
But we completed it! I love that the director
is still disappointed. He's like, Oh, you completed the scene,
but now I'm blind. Is this this? This is real. We're doing- We're doing Titanic? drive to Skip Rose off of the iceberg. Oh, I've waited for this day.
Leo!!!! *laughter*
Yeah! Yeah. The director's like, cut, cut, cut. You killed everyone but Rose. Sorry, sir. Hold on, hold on. Let me- Lemme just- Lemme just-
Action! Leo has a good push there. All right. The lifeboat people are still alive. a they having, like, a dance party
down here on one of these icebergs. I just drowned everyone there. Why are there explosive
canisters of the lifeboat? I've got to hit the explosive canisters. I don't want to get too much
because I don't want to miss them. All right, ready? And we got to get those
explosive canisters. Come on, Ross. Come on, Ross. Yeah. Come on, second one! Yeah, I love that. She's less like a person
and more like it's not a shark. There's a shark. Hold on. I need to see
if I get eaten by the shark now. No, no, no shark. Over
here. Over here, buddy. Come back. Psp! Psp! Psp! Psp!
Come here, buddy! It's like trying to deal with a cat. Okay, hold on. Rose, we got to get you. We got to get you right in line
with the shark, if we can. All right. Now, that's
going to be a good bounce right there. Hey, few more murders. Excellent. Now everyone's burning alive and drowning,
which is kind of a weird combination, but I'll take it
maybe a little bit more here. There we go. And action! Shark! I want to be friends. Come back. You get so many
coins, they just. The number that you get
doesn't even matter. Not like 1.2 million coins. Okay. I am right with the shark and nothing. I am literally getting kicked from space
and my mother was telling me to become a lawyer. Hold on. Let me ask you this, Mom. Can a lawyer do this? I'm going to ricochet
off a meteorite. It's amazing. How are all this I think my favorite part
is that the camera guy doesn't have any protection
from the vacuum of space. He's still wearing his Floridian shorts! The key grip is over here with the microphone. This is what it's like to go to
to go to school for, like, directing. This is basically what you
what you have to do at first. It's like, don't I get any protection?
Of course not. You're the key grip. Now get in there. I don't think anyone has ever broken
this many bones in space before. All right. Obviously, I need to upgrade
even farther than I've gone here. So we're going to go up to 90. Again, I have I have just like, you know, untold amounts of money
from becoming a stuntman. I don't know why I ever decided
to do anything else in life. Wow, that's pressure. Oh, my back. Actually,
I think that may have been my, uh... My... My tibia and my spine
and a couple of other spine pieces. And I almost got wrapped inside
of a gigantic space station. That's nice. Let's go to a hundred and lift off. Okay. Big speed broke most of my lower
joints, but it's fine. I'm in space. I don't actually need those. $500,000. All right,
so now I'm a ninja, okay? ID off of the top of the roof here,
and the target is moving. Fantastic. I love how there's also just a just I don't know what
they are. The extras are. I guess it is possible to kill them,
which means I'm going to have to try. How? We're going to pump this up. Maybe. I don't know.
Maybe like two more points, right? And we'll go three
trying to get those extras. I may be a little bit
to the left of the extras. I am completely over the extras.
I'm going to get run over now. I'm glitching inside of the-
*laughter* Hence we need a lighter roundhouse
kick from you. That's close. Almost there. Not quite, though. And I got hit by the car and I took out the street light
and I got hit by another car. Okay, so we need an even lighter hit.
Like the lightest hit like that. Yeah, real light. oh, not quite. I'm not giving up
until I kill someone. That is, that, that's
the whole point of my entire career. There! That's got to be it. There's no way that's missing. Yes. Here we go. Now I'm satisfied. Now
I can actually try and beat the board. Oh, okay. All right, let's go. 111 about and see where that gets us. Now that's a roundhouse kick. So close. I've got
to check something real quick. I could have sworn. Yep. There is definitely two people
hanging out over there. Hi. Were you about to ask her to marry you? I hope so. Now she's stuck in a tee pose. All right, we're going to complete
this. We'll complete this one here. Right about there. That should still get it
even though that wasn't Max I seven. Oh yeah. Oh my-
Hit the helicopter! OW!!! from the helicopter
into the of double tap. Okay. Last scene. I am now battling
the Dark Underworld Lord. It's through getting Sparta kicked by like a dude in a 1980s windbreaker. It looks like the kid through Lou
is getting Spartacus kicked. This is not what happens to Cthul'hu! Cthul'hu does not get Sparta kicked by some guy named Joel. Actually, I kind of love the fact that Cthul'hu is getting Sparta
kicked by Joel. Come on, let's crank this up. And cantaloupe go all right. And threw the first clock
into the arches of doom. I never thought in my wildest
dreams. Oh, that's it. I maxed out. Oh, no, I haven't.
I've just used up all my money. I never thought it would get so expensive. Okay. All right, fair enough. We got to get- We got to get Cthul'hu moving as far as possible. Also, Cthul'hu always this built? Oh, I just burned him alive. All right. Keep keep putting up the money here. We got to get this moving. Wait for it. Wait for it now. Perfect. 79,000. Okay. Ricochet off of the lava of destitution. Up now I'm just burning alive. All right. I'm making enough
money to upgrade. Yeah, like, every time. I just have to get past all these clocks off the ground, get
caught inside of the lava. Do you think at least, at the very least,
like the dark one could get? I don't know, like a contractor down here
to fix some of this. Okay, perfect again. 79,000.
This one's actually pretty hard. I've almost got dollar store. Cthul'hu to the end. It's not like it
do, Lou. It's like cut through, Leo. It's like his. His
less well known brother. He's like, I never actually wanted
to take over all of reality. I kind of got shoehorned into this.
Big distance. Big distance, okay. Off of the demonically charged ground
and into the JPEG lava. Also, can someone real quick, like, give a hand to the
camera guy and the key grip guy or whatever. Again, these two guys are down here
in the underworld, it's like 7000 degrees Celsius
still just wearing the same shorts. No big deal. I love it. Here we go. Perfect Sparta kick! and a good bounce right off the spine. Almost there. Hey,
could go all the way. It's happening. It's happening. Oh. Oh. One of his toe claws.
I thought it would hit it. Are you kidding me?
All right. One more bonus. Perfect. This is it. All right. Toes out. Could do, Lou. Could do
the light diet. Could do Lou. All the toe claws don't count. All right, one there.
This is got to do it. 130 across the board. Perfect. Kick. Ricochet
off the back of the skull. Oh, I need to. I need to arc him
over to the left, I guess. I'm actually going to say hi to this other demonic being.
Like, "Hey, Ralph." Ralph was like, "Hey, they're selling Diet
Coke two for one over at the store." Cthul-Lite is like, "I love Diet Coke!!!" Let's do this. This has got to be
right in the middle. Yeah. And we have a winner!! Well, I went to the hospital every day and made enough money
to actually pay my own medical bills. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed this episode of Stuntman.
Until next time: Stay foxy and much love.
